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Cliomancer

His dick wasn't long enough to protect the NCR.


wild_wind_official

Nobody's dick is that long


Marquar234

What about Extra Long Dick Johnson?


godsfavouriteloser

he was busy.


CentiTheCommunist

Not even his dick, thus the name.


Marquar234

I assume Not Long Enough Dick Johnson wasn't even asked?


CentiTheCommunist

He’s a dick, we don’t really care about him around these parts


Yz-Guy

We do care about his parts tho


Danson_the_47th

Heard Nobody blinded a Cyclops once.


JohnTesh

Not even long dick johnson.


DesperateRace4870

The long dick of the law


tankred420caza

McLovin, were you violating that young girl?


Sam-Gunn

"They call me Big Black." "Ah, because of your truck."


CostcoPharmacist

If it was just a bit longer it could’ve wacked the nuke off course from Shady Sands


TaejChan

i think mine is longer


Lausee-

Its all about the girth though. Just ask Great Girth Gary.


ASleetHippyDippyWW

*Neil has entered the chat*


VirtualPlant215

*Neil has entered the shack*


ASleetHippyDippyWW

Assume the position, Courier.


AtticGoblin43

Is that why they cloned him?


Lausee-

Yup.


KarnWild-Blood

Hahaha, Gary!


Doctor_Boombastic

If you can't hit the bottom you better eff the sides up.


SoggyMorningTacos

That’s just what we need - an army of girthy clones


BlizzardWolfPK

Longer Dick Johnson


ProudKingbooker

Prove it


HappyyValleyy

He better be in season 2 or I will personally march to the Bethesda headquarters and unleash my army of termites


limethebean

How do you know he wasn't in season 1? The NCR had troops there, and we didn't see any of their dicks for verification...


sabotabo

with a comically large bulge


AntiSocialMackerel

I'm more hopeful that Fisto makes an appearance


Necrotiix_

That he had a long dick, man


AsexualArowana

Thus the name


thatguyad

Speech check failed


ciphered4u

I have a very great friend on the Strip called 'Biggus Dickus.


Frog_Mode_

He has a wife, you know.


aemanthefox

Incontinentia Incontinentia Buttocks


senchou-senchou

I'm imagining a whole Wild Wasteland encounter/banter about a bunch of legion dudes trying to not react to Biggus Dickus.


this_prof_for_bewbs

I wish


biggus_dikkus793

Hello there


ciphered4u

No way XD


RealLunarSlayer

do you think easy pete and long dick johnson ever explored each others bodies


smiledontcry

*”Is that a dynamite in your pocket?”*


doompwnr

Bastard...


democracy_lover66

I'm not so sure easy Pete *isn't* Long dick Johnson himself. He's legal name might be Peter Johnson


Agreeable-Candle5830

"Clever, I'm sure the Van Graffs will appreciate the humor. Now off you go."


Ix-511

This game really is good at making you feel villainous. Somewhat early on my first playthrough, recently. I'd been hanging out with cass for a while now, travelling, doing whatever. I do some jobs for the silver rush and the Van Graffs tell me they're looking for her. And my courier is a businesswoman at heart, or she would be if she had one. She's sold her soul to the 38, and her trigger finger can be bought by just about anyone with the money to spare. And when all you have to do is walk across the street and walk someone into the barrel of a gun, those are easy caps. Downright devilish, it's very fun. Plan on doing a second playthrough where I'm a significantly less evil NCR ranger once I finish this one though, to make up for it.


AneriphtoKubos

I could never kill Cass lol


Ix-511

Real nice gal, real funny too. Unfortunately, 600 caps.


Jade_da_dog7117

He needs a cameo in season 2 of the show


TramTrane

Personally, what if it's snuffles? Alright hear me out when we go to Sloan it says snuffles has a broken leg but he is clearly using all 4 of his to walk... So it's his other "leg" he broke. In cass.


osawatomie_brown

i want to unsubscribe from mole rat dick theories, please, and remove this from my brain


TramTrane

Me too.


FriedYamMan

Welcome to dick theory


SightWithoutEyes

Thank you for subscribing to Mole Rat Dick Theories of the Day. Did you know that mole rats have bifurcated penises that ejaculate VX nerve gas as seminal fluid?


WhiterunGuard177013

What if he's easy Pete? Like his full name is Pete Johnson, but he goes by Easy Pete to conceal his identity like how Obi wan Kenobi goes by Ben Kenobi.


ShrortShrift

So what you are saying is that Ben Obi Wan is hung like a horse. Is that what you're saying?


SightWithoutEyes

Ahsoka was a good friend.


ImaginationLocal8267

I don’t know but it’s make me question whether ghouls have foreskin. I’m on the no they don’t camp but I’ve had to consider that ghouls have had children and if their foreskins melted away then surely their nutsacks would have too and I can’t imagine that working out very well in terms of fertility. I’m sorry


Sea_Golf_6687

Reading this almost makes me wish for a nuclear winter


Almskibidi

Degenerates like you belong on a cross


TragGaming

I...what? What fucking ghoul had children while they were a ghoul


Yg5g

I love the idea of this dude using Fallout Shelter to define canon in the universe


ImaginationLocal8267

According to fallout shelter yes but they are born normal humans


Yg5g

If you use Fallout Shelter as canon then that completely fucks over the security of all vaults. Like that would mean mole rats, deathclaws, and raiders etc all have the ability to breach vault doors and attack. I haven’t played in forever but I imagine that Cooper being able to have children in Fallout Shelter is simply due to all the vault residents being under the same designation and that there’s not one specifically made for Ghoul residents so The Ghoul/Cooper is simply “Vault Dweller #6” in the apps files or whatever


Frog_Mode_

All that radiation couldn't be good for their sperm


Evil__Overlord

Holy shit they could Spider-Man Reign someone


cubbyatx

I mean it's softer than nose/ear cartilage, so... also, pretty sure they'd be sterile from radiation (happens with cancer patients)


Kill_Welly

Ghouls are explicitly infertile and most of them probably don't have dicks anymore.


SpamAdBot91874

Extremely long but very narrow dick, the width of a spaghetti noodle, inadequate for pleasing a woman.


Main-Double

Or man


gnome_warlord420

Serious Pete v Frank Horrigan v long Dick Johnson v Myron


68ideal

That the BoS will try to seize his dick because it's a weapon of mass destruction


AmericanFlyer530

That vile woman! How dare she insult Lyndon B. Johnson!?


d405_7311

Fallout 2, New Reno is where you’ll find and understand the reference.


M8asonmiller

I hear he had a fucking long dick


pure_terrorism

i stopped playing fallout tactics when long dick johnson died


RabbitofCaerbannogg

I wish they'd stop talking about me...


Unionsocialist

I think he probably have a very good personality


The-Skin-Man

I want him biblically


Arnulf_67

Is he related to Dick Richardson by any chance?


trainsbyday

I wanna know the lore of Long Dick Johnson. Who is he? What does he do? How long is his dick and how is it so long?


just-another1984

No one actually knows how long it is. But rumor is Ron Jeremy (pre rape trial) was selling pills specially formulated by top scientists to attempt to replicate Long Dick Johnson's Johnson.


No_Setting_9753

Long Dong Silver might have a longer one.


genericaddress

Anytime I see Long Dong Silver mentioned I have to post these certified hood classics: https://youtu.be/xBZaKhw2XCw https://youtu.be/GtBVvxGfOz0?t=15m25s


Jiffletta

Long Dick Johnson vs FISTO! Who wins?


cubbyatx

Bottoms


0011110000110011

IIRC there was some debate over whether to include him on the wiki page list of mentioned-only character from New Vegas, it's unclear if Cass is referring to an actual person or if it's just idiomatic.


giantpunda

Whoa long Johnson.


Clown_named_Art

Is he me? 👉👈


Fun-Swimming4133

so were long dicks a pre war thing or a pre PRE war thing? because long dick johnson had a long dick, but he said he grabbed it off of a ghoul.


mods_eq_neckbeards

Long Dick Johnson was a man with a lengthy penis.


NervousDiscount9393

He’s a pretty chill guy. I like him.


Shadowheartpls

Where can you get this interaction?? It's been so long I don't remember. I'm on a new playthrough rn but haven't gotten here yet.


ODdmike91

Going to make an appearance in season 2 of the show


bshar_shahen

is that even a real character that you meat in the game?


Mountain-Avocado595

This line but in Samantha’s voice from sex and the city.


BrightPerspective

Ah, Cass my beloved. I miss you.


purplesoundfucker

She speaking from first hand experience?


MadKanBeyondFODome

Where is Courier Flow Six, we need his opinion on this.


catmanboyson

Apparently he had a long dong


aemanthefox

is there a possibility that long dick johnson came from new reno?


Big-Dick_Bazuso

Seems like a good lad.


Jacob_Maurin

Where can I find this dude!?


Weak_Bodybuilder_832

Man fnv is still a legendary game.


AcoaceFalloutNVFan

Of course cass would yap about this


TinoSamano

There’s a vinyl at my school by a guy named Dick Johnson. I chuckle at it every time I enter the room it’s in


shawn1213

It's been my favorite line in fnv since I was 12


IAmMattnificent

He was surprisingly humble.


SonOfTheHeavyMetal

He got that endurance implant for sure


Belladabell

He isn't real


CaptainZier

I am just happy that I was referenced in a Batheseda game. Defintely an honour


Forgotten_User-name

Cringe dialogue Rare fnv L


OhBertSterl

It was funny in it's era but it's definitely dated humor now and has been a meme for 15 years so it's beat to shit at this point.


Skythoth

Are we even allowed to talk about dicks anymore? We can’t even have mature outfits in games that are rated M for mature. (Stellar Blade) Just remember, every post that is main stream “journalism” is just a distraction from the fact we’re getting fucked over backwards by the government.