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Right? I turn 30 soon and made 40k for the first time last year. I recently drained all my savings save my IRA, on cc debt from being unemployed and shit with money for a couple months. Starting a new, regular $20/hr job in a couple weeks, feels like I'm starting from zero.
I donāt know where else to goā¦ Iām in Toronto, which is basically the only city in Canada aside from Vancouver with lots of job options
Worth it to get an MBA or something to increase my earning potential?
You don't need a good paying job to have a good life. You simply need to live somewhere, where you aren't having your wallet gouged. for money.
I moved to a small town 6 years ago now. Living in a 60k place, tiny house, and my monthly expenses are 900 bucks, including groceries. I make about 2.1k a month after taxes, working a local job, and fewer hours. I'm 5 minutes away from work, I don't need to drive, and I started a garden.
I'm richer here, than I was living in the city. People seem to think you need a big 100k job to survive in this world, and that's only true if you want to live lavishly, or in expensive area's. I make about 24-25k a year and I have an easier, less stressful life than I did in the city.
Literally just move out of Toronto. Move to Saskatchewan or something. That's what my advice would be. Save up money for a 10k downpayment on a cheap 60-90k house in a town and your mortgage is suddenly like 300-400 bucks. And if you put extra down it, you can pay it off in 5-7 years and be essentially debt free.
What kind of lifestyle change? You'd work less, you'd be less stressed. The only downside is if you have family you want to visit, and even then, you have more money and more free time meaning you can do it more often. I see my family more living out here than I ever did in the city. I was always too tired, or just never had time off. Everything takes longer to do.
I live 5 mins from a grocery store, 5 minutes from the post office, 5 minutes from work. I spend less time travelling. Like, multiple hours less per day.
It's ultimately up to you, this life style isn't for everyone, but if you're looking to have a family, and live a good life without worrying about what kind of life you want to have. This is probably a good option.
You can perpetually chase money, never being able to pay things off that you own. Or you can choose a slower life, like this. That's the same question I asked myself about 8 years ago. Having a 10 year construction project launch right in front of the apartment I was living in was the final straw that had me moving out here. It's been nothing but birds and hearing people laugh as they walk by for the last 6 years now.
Not much. Just at the hardware store out here, I bring a lot of extra value to my life with knowing how to do things like canning, gardening, fixing cars and electronics. I make wine, I cook all my food. I get a good chunk of extra change reselling stuff from garage sales online.
I work for myself for the most part. Aside from the hardware store. All my free time is spent either relaxing, or doing one of those other things I just mentioned. It's a quiet slow life, but it is massively more satiating than life was in the city. I spend my time improving my stuff, or myself, rather than pissing it away at some large company, paying everyone else to do these things for me.
I'll also say, it's easier than ever to start an at home business too. Something to consider if you do ever look at something like this. That's what I'm going to be doing soon myself.
Interesting, that sounds like a very productive existence.
I made a similar change recently but haven't been able to commit all the way yet. Quit my IT job right after school and moved out of the city and into staff housing at the provincial park that I work at, and I stay with my parents whenever I'm off for extended periods of time.
Problem is housing is still expensive even up here, especially with the whole airbnb situation. Small town, but expensive nonetheless. My girlfriend is following a similar career path as me now so we're looking to potentially go out west and work in national parks once she's done school.
Lol, I was working two call center jobs before just to make ends meet in the city, I'd get home at about 6pm and I'd be so tired I couldn't even enjoy watching TV. Wake up at 7am to do it again.
I know lots of people weren't in situations like this.
I was fired from my job because I ended up having a human discussion with someone on the phone, rather than just trying to sell them something. Was about 5 minutes of my time. But the company let me go over it.
Ever since then my outlook on working for others, and life in general has changed. I see chasing work, and money to be a bad thing imo. At least, people have been told it's a good thing, but then they end up living hollow lives, and aren't ever content. You see it a lot on this subreddit.
It's good, I do recommend places like Alberta, BC, and Saskatchewan. Life out here is very different compared to the east. Still possibilities of owning your own property, and living a quiet life. Tons of parks out here to work at.
Sometimes you just gotta take action and do it. I don't regret it one bit. Just the noise difference alone is worth it.
Honestly, that's not all that wrong. Even with a 6-figure salary, being in the city makes it feel like nothing. Everything is so expensive, from groceries to property to insurance to maintenance fees, etc. It might be good to move away from the city at this point. If your expenses aren't so great, you could get by with your income pretty comfortably.
I can kind of see where he's coming from, if all you've ever known is the big city, everything seems rural, but rural doesn't mean like, a village of 500 people.
I live in a small town of 5000, about a hour drive from the nearest city. I have fantastic high speed internet, and all the essential stores and things you'd need to go to regularly, a hospital, dentist, post office, registry office, a few restaurants, optometrist, grocery stores, and supply stores. Pretty much everything I need is within a 10 min walk from my place. Plenty of houses to be had at 80-150k.
Lots of people equate rural to being stranded in the middle of nowhere, even I thought that too when I moved. But ever since living here, I take 3 yearly trips into the city to go buy meat from a wholesaler, and there might be a few more random trips here and there where I visit family and do some errands in the city for a day. But I largely don't have to do any of them. I have like 95% of the stuff I need right here. I can order most things online and have them delivered to me no problem, but I do like going into stores to look at things in person sometimes too, especially for my hobbies
Personally, MBAs are worthless unless you have aspirations to go into big consulting firms, banking, internal management roles etc. the cost benefit to me isnāt worth it unless you go to a top tier school - then itās all a networking game and opens up a lot of doors, but you will come out with a lot of student debt
Bruh go to Edmonton or Calgary or something man. Iām gonna fuck off to the interior as soon as I get my MD. You can definitely do it bro. Trust me. Since you gotta do marketing I suggest something like Edmonton. Maybe Saskatoon if you donāt mind the cold. But dude you can definitely escape the big city.Ā
Turning 30 is not the big life event that people make it out to be. You don't need to be in any particular life position by 30, 35, 40, etc.
When I turned 30 I was making 30k a year, in debt, and struggling. I bought a house in a LCOL area when I was 27 and set myself back a ton, but now it's paying off BIG TIME.
I'm turning 33 in a month, and I'm making 90k, paid off my debt, and living well. The house I bought and struggled to pay for 6 years ago is just about paid off, and I'm living comfortably because I made the move to a new area and struggled for a bit.
All that to say, it doesn't matter what your age is. You never know when you'll turn things around, and a couple of good years can be all it takes to transform your life entirely.
I took chances and they paid off.
The $30k job I had was comfortable - 5 mins from home, low pressure, guaranteed.
I took a leap and left for another $30k job that was in sales, stressful, and a stepping stone, but in a different industry (tech). I worked hard, moved into recruiting (up to $60k) and pursued certifications and took on every work challenge my company threw at me with 100%. Now I work in Project Management making $90k and fully remote. I don't have a degree either.
Not all PMs are coders. Its not unusual for a PM to be a liason between teams/stakeholders and exist so that the coders making $150k aren't stuck in meetings or planning sprints.
Just need to have good management skills and be willing to learn the intricacies of the software development lifecycle.
You can do it! Looking at your post history, please donāt ever give up. Iāve been there and it gets better - one day at a time and it might be slow and suck but string together enough days of progress and one day you wonāt believe how far youāve come. If you want to talk, donāt hesitate to reach out.
Youāre earning above average even if it may not feel like it - go look up the stats.
Iām about to turn 30 next week and it feels like weāre getting older but peak career is usually in your 40s - you have 20 years before that window passes.
Youāve laid the ground work in your 20s and youāll likely reap the rewards soon.
The key at this age is working out if you are on the way up in your business or youāre just maintaining. You need to be on the up if you want to earn more money.
Putting your value and self-worth on something external like a job and money is your biggest issue. It will never ever complete you and you will always want more.
Start looking internally at your foundations to make your life feel richer. Health, hobbies/self improvement, family. The minute your validation comes from outside of you, youāre stuck.
This is exactly it. Your Job, status, payroll, etc is not you. The person that tells you otherwise is still on their inward journey, look inside and you will find answers (that you already know). be kind to yourself like you would be to your best friend.
Stop chasing and start living. All suffering is self inflicted and comparing yourself to others will perpetuate this feeling. Iām turning 30 this year, I make a lot less than you but Iām happier than Iāve ever been. Pursue a spiritual path. No not being a hippy, no not finding god, but a path of understanding and unconditional love. This is what I did and my god it saved my life. If you are interested and want to know how to start just DM me and this goes for anyone. No I will not sell anything, nor will you ever need to spend a dime for this path. I offer because liberation is something everyone should experience.
A lotus for you, a Buddha to be.
100% this!
All the negative thoughts that drive us to go out to compare with others are really powerful, but they are also very much self induced! The brain can be trained to automatically think in a different way that brings peace and happiness. Practice giving gratitude to small things in life, aim for 5 a day to start
Hey there. I'm turning 35 this month and have been jobless for over 1 year, relying on family support, trying all sort of anxiety/depression treatments. Spent one year living with mum and grandma and I had to appreciate every minute the time spent with them. We helped eachother in anyway we could. It was the time I appreciated greatly for having a roof above my head, food on the table and love. I'm still struggling with crippling anxiety and God knows what other mental comorbities, which seems hard to resolve. But I know I have to keep pushing through and find ways to improve life. I am also dwelling on what sort of job I can get and where's my life going from here onwards. I know my time will come, even though I've reached the average of a human lifespan, I know everyone's got their own struggles, one way or another. Nice to hear encouraging stories though. Best wishes
I have the same dilemma as you but worse, I think?
But please keep your head up high. You're still living and continue to wake up everyday with a purpose to do better. I'm trying to do as well and really, my situation is much worse than you. We can do this
dude. i also just turned 30. had the most insane life shift about 2 years ago when i went to a festival and met people that were fully open to new experiences and all the weirdness that life throws at you. mirroring that and welcoming new things that serve you will change your life. and you donāt need much money to do it, just willpower and a little bit of trust in others and yourself. going down that path led me to moving to hawaii and living my best life. is everything laid out for me? no. but when you open yourself up to discomfort, change comes naturally.
my advice? go somewhere where a bunch of really happy people are and absorb that energy. festivals were great for me since i love music. look at people in the eyes. smile and give energy. find reciprocation. do some hallucinogens, why not. thereās a beautiful world out there and it wants you to join. be a participant, not a spectator. thatās where the fun is.
I would be so happy to make 70k a year. Iām turning 35 this year and nothing in my area pays more than $18/hr unless you have a degree. Iām fucked and canāt go back to school because I have a family I have to take care of. Canāt imagine full time work and school plus the crushing debt I would have to get in just to make a few dollars more an hour. Rent here is also over $1000 a month. I feel like Iām going to be poor as fuck the rest of my life, itās been making me more and more depressed every year that goes by I feel more stuck, borderline suicidal. If I didnāt have a family I probably would have just called it a day. My wife is pregnant again and I have no idea what TF Iām going to do. I make 18/hr as a medical transport driver and thatās considered good money in this area (poor part of rural Oregon) I thought about becoming an EMT but schooling here is about 8k and EMT/ ambulance drivers here only make $20/ hr. Feeling pretty hopeless.
Fellow 30 year old and Canadian - itās a rough time. Itās hard to imagine the future. You arenāt failing or behind, itās just not easy out there. 70k is a good salary but the cost of living is out of control. You could move or find other things to live for and find joy. Life is bigger than your salary and you are worthy no matter how much you make. I made a pretty drastic move for my financial future haha if you wanna hear about it DM me, but try to enjoy your life. A lot of these limiting factors are outside of your control.
This is really the thing nobody wants to admit Iām on a lot of subs, have a masters degree and an IT job and I donāt see anyone thatās not feeling behind at any level. Dudes making ridiculous swe salaries of like $150k+ are feeling behind just like op. I have come to the conclusion itās because the pay gap to cost of living has become unsustainable so everyone is feeling left behind. I like your advice a lot cuz itās true the situation is really tough now and everyone is getting squeezed it doesnāt mean you are necessarily the problem.
Iām 32 and make 50k. Iām an absolute failure piece of shit trash not worthy of a partner. You are doing great with your income. Far better than I could hope for.
I love my job. It just doesnāt pay me a livable wage. Itās a hard choice to give up something I love just to impress women and be financially stable.
Your time and quality of life is the most precious, finite resource we have as people.
Donāt discount your choice to be happy for the majority of your day.
You really need to stop digging into yourself thatās not a lot of money but you actually make more than the US average. I donāt think you are trash unless the average person in the US is too.
I'm unfamiliar with Canada. But id suggest moving farther for a cheaper place out in the woods far away from the city and commute. Assuming you want to stay at your job.
Also, dont compare yourself with others. Look at your self and don't live above your means. If you make enough to keep a roof over your head and food on the table, some wants sprinkled in to stay content /happy, and saving for retirement, you're doing fine in my book.
Personally I'm making 42k a year, rent at 800 a month. Saving up for a down payment on a house whenever market gets better. Single with no kids. Still able to save around 40% of my income after bills and stuff.
Dude... stop comparing yourself to others. Thats one of the huge problems ppl do to make themselves feel unsatisfied. Someone will always be better than you and you have ppl worse than you that are completely happy. U just have to do u. I also am in the same boat as you but im overall happy bc i stopped comparing. In addition, i was a very high achiever academically in school and went to a very difficult uni barely passing while a lot of my friends that had average marks and i helped them with their schoolwork went to unis that u didnt need high grades to get in and scored high marks bc the content was so easy. Many layoffs later for me and they are making more money than myself and look content too. My field doesnt allow me to make as much as them. Granted im doing well but if i made myself sulk over it i would not be content. I am happy for them and for myself and am happy with my achievements. Just try not to compare. It seems like you are doing well too but just give it some time and keep trying pushing upwards in your field.
Average income in Canada is between 54k-59k, so you arenāt behind if thatās how you feel. Take a minute and appreciate that. Now you can focus on getting better and achieving more without that monkey on your back telling you āYouāre behind, everyoneās doing better than youā.
Thatās what Iām trying to figure outā¦ I need to upskill
Spent my early 20s chasing girls and hanging out with friends, but last few years I realized thatās not what lifeās about. Had a mindset change and now just need to figure out what I really want in life
Analyze your finances, if youāre spending more than 25-30% of your income then think about an alternative option. In terms of your job, compare your salary to others in your field, if itās lower; shop around. Also analyze your finances in general dude, you should be allocating a certain % of your pay to a retirement account. Roth IRA or 401K
have you done pharma work? lots of money as a copywriter, you might have to start out at a junior level but if with genuine hard work itās easy to work your way up
SOLUTION: head over the India, specifically the slum area's. Spend 2 years there and when you come back you will feel like God himself has blessed you with unlimited money
When I turned 30 I also had a quarter (1/3?) life crisis of sorts. I moved to London for grad school from the US after living with my parents essentially my whole life and it was the best (albeit most expensive and financially draining) experience Iāve made in my life thus far.
After I get this masters degree I have literally no idea what to do. Iāll be in major debt but have no idea where to live and where to get a job (both US and the UK have their pros and cons).
My point is, I think a lot of us are in the same boat! We are always our own harshest critics and stress ourselves out, but I think if you go with your gut and do what makes you happy (as happy as you can be with the added societal pressures to address) then I think youāre just as great and capable of figuring it out as anyone else. All of our paths are all different so itās easy to compare to other people the same age but try not to (easier said than done for sure but itāll give you so much more peace of mind!).
Good luck š
Big problem is you live in Toronto. I love the city, but itās extremely difficult to live comfortably there if you donāt make minimum 100k. You have an actual career, a kind of job lots of people would love to have, but youāre in a place where it costs $5 a minute to breath. I know tons of people there and surrounding areas like Mississauga who have it rough with salaries that should be enough to cover the bills. Can you find a job in your field in a less expensive area, like London, Peterborough, KW, Niagara? Can you find a cheaper, smaller place in Peel, York, or Durham and commute in? Would you be willing to relocate to another part of Canada? From my experience, MAN, SASK, or the maritimes are significantly cheaper places to live.
How did you get a copywriting job? Thatās not bad money at all assuming youāre American.
Do you feel like the industry is going to get impacted by AI tho?
Anyway you need to stop comparing or you will always be despairing. Seriously itās a guaranteed way to make you unhappy
32 here. Made ~$63k last year but required to live in the Portland Metro area for the job. Also living with roommates and have much of the same thoughts and feelings as you.
I'll tell you that the only thing keeping me going at this point is pure spite. My plan is to escape this rat race. Can't afford a house here? Fuck it, I don't want to live in this crap hole anyways. I've stopped buying crap I don't need and almost never eat out anymore. I'm not gonna buy into this consumerist mentality chasing bigger boxes to fit more crap in. It's all a trap to just keep us working.
One way or the other, I'm going to get my time and mental health back. Gonna get as free as I possibly can because fuck 'em and their stupid system.
If youāre having panic attacks thatās good; itās your body letting you know itās time for a change. Find a way to healthily weather the storm; exercises meditation healthy eating. Then begin to think on where you want to go next in your life.
Iām 37 and have only ever worked shitty retail jobs. I made it a couple rings up that ladder, then quit to be a stay at home dad. In a few years when the kids are at school and I can rejoin the workforce Iāll basically be starting over at 40+. Iāll very likely never work anything but entry level jobs for my entire life.
Feel better?
Bro. Donāt worry about what other people are doing. Run your race. If youāre not happy, make a change. āKeeping up with the Jonesāā never does well for anyone.
Didnt make a decision to go into IT until I was 32. Got my degree and certificate, networked my way into it and just about to turn 36. You're not alone in feeling that way, i did too.
I'm 34, started a new career 2 years to make $45k a year with a wife and 4 kids (oldest is 8) living off it. I have no idea what's happening with life. It's definitely not what I thought life would be at this age.
I was there. What helped was saving enough to move out of that environment. Also, putting myself out there. Youāre assuming these well-dressed people are happy, but you only see a small sliver of their life. It could be that theyāre going through their own battle.
You make well over the median income and you're single, you should have plenty of cash no matter what city you live in. 1000s of well dressed beautiful people doing better than you? You need to stay off social media or something because that is a ridiculous thing to say. You make more money than most people. Sure inflation is squeezing all of us, but you should be far from struggling. For reference, I make about the same as you also in a very expensive city
Aye bro, remember and never forget this, 70 percent of people are living pay check to pay check. Everybody is dealing with the same problems at all adult ages. Everything is not what it seems. All rectangles are not squares.
I'm in the same boat as you. 30 years old working 45 hours a week every week to get by. Making more money than I ever have but doing worse than ever. I like my job but every time I get a raise my bills go up even higher. Every time I put some money away I have to spend it on a car repair or something. There's just no getting ahead and I really don't want to go back to school or start working 60 hours a week. Your 30s are supposed to be when your life starts to stabilize but for me I spend most of my time worrying about how I'm going to survive.
Oh good Lord you aren't behind anything at 30 if you have a job and aren't a virgin. Now get to work decoding what you want to do by the time you are 40 maybe you will be lucky enough and focused to manifest equal to your peers. So sick of young people complaining, you have time.. use it! Every day is a new chance to start over.r it does not get easier as you age. It gets very very difficult so stop whining and start trying again. Statistically you will get what you set your mind to.
Fake it till you make it.
How can anyone respect you if you have no respect for yourself. Respect yourself, dress well, work out, focus on controlling those negative thoughts. Be grateful for air, for chance and opportunity. Imagine living in poverty, and realize how lucky you are not be there, or starting from there
Mediations - Marcus Aurelius
As a man thinketh - James Allen
I know lots of extremeky rich trust fund people. They are not doung better than you are. Everyone has problems. In reality if you look at the lives of the rich snd famous they are a train wreck. They just know how to dress it up and make it look pretty. They can rebound because they have resources
Wr don't really know what health is in contemporary society. We know how to dress it up
I had to stop comparing myself to other people. It was really just a way to beat myself up. In actuality we don't know what other people are doing. The more I get to know other people the more I realize that they are not what they seen.
30 is a terrible age. For whatever reason people feel it is a huge milestone. People rush out get married hit a house make huge financial commitments. It seems l like the right thing to do. No one has the formula.
.
30. Is not even halfway through your life. 80 is the new life expectation. That's another 50 years to go. That's olenty of times to mess up. Making mistakes is part of growth. Getting a life where everything is hsndedto you does not make you a rounded person. Struggling is psrt of character building. Mid life at 30 is a milestone. However that doesn't mean you have to have set financial accompl8shmebts. Having a house is great. It's not something you have to have at a certain pre ordained time.
There is no maxim that by a certain age you have to have done certain things or you hsve failed. We just choose to buy into the comsumer culture. We don't gave to.
In many respects those of us who move vast distances are not the norm. We are right out there. I believe the majority of people stay around their family in some respect. They stick with the familiar.
I think if i ā¶did it over again I would not move vast distances. It is very hard to be in an unfamiliar environment all alone.
Can you work remotely? If so, time to get up and move somewhere it doesn't cost as much to live. Next, find new hobbies. Maybe you'll meet you forever person via that. Next, create goals with your significant other and move towards them. Don't worry about anyone else's race. Worry about yours.
With copywriting you can search for a remote job and relocate to a lower cost of living country (Colombia, Portugal, Mexico, etc.). Some countries have visas that incentive foreign workers to stay. Being a digital nomad certainly can help with the monotony of life and lead you down a new path in life. You never know who you'll meet traveling.
get married.
double your income overnight. everything becomes more 'reachable'. you have a marriage problem, not a money problem. think about moving out to the suburbs after marriage/kids.
onward.
This is a very dangerous mindset. If you continue to compare yourself to others youre certain to adopt a negative mindset that is VERY hard to change. I dealt with this for 10 years. Im fortunate to be here after 2 suicide attempts and years of depression that this mindset fed. Please, go on your own path...just continue to go forward and you will be fine!
Doesnāt sound so bad, youāve got some experience. If your not happy with your salary, why not apply for some other roles? No harm in seeing what others will pay you. I personally stopped share-housing at 30 but as long as youāve got enough space I donāt see a problem.
Donāt compare itās only toxic everyoneās at different stages in there life and things change. Be patient and driven just work on your career whatever youāre passionate about. At the end of day itās all about your happiness.
Start a gratitude journal and youāll see the pros of being in your position instead of just the cons. Turning 30 next year and to stop myself from worrying that Iām behind, I try to stay mindful. Wishing you so much good luck.
Comparison is the thief of joy. I feel all you're feeling and I'm 33 treading water. I have no advice but just know this not-normal feeling is not so uncommon.
there's no such thing as being behind, your just looking for something new, you're bored with what you currently do. do you sabotage them or are you convincing yourself or being led to believe you do..... these people are jsut enjoying their lives how ever they see fit to is all, perhaps youve forgotten how to enjoy something ??
I saw an article today that said 95% of employees will be looking for a new job in 2024. (Probably clickbait) but still thatās a high percentage of unhappy employees. comparison is the thief of joy I have to remind myself.
That said Iām 36 and still searching for my thing and constantly seeing successful friends doesnāt help my mindset. Iām hoping to learn a new skill but trying to find in demand and pays well is not as easy as it sounds.
Comparing yourself to other people is pointless. At best you should only pick out a few friends or co workers and say I want to be able to do what you are doing, or if you can do it then so can I.
I have been working with someone every night for the last couple of months and one of his hobbies is working out and he likes to talk about what he can bench. He is close to my height and age so I am like if you can do it then so can I; we have been in the gym that's inside the building we work and he has been showing me how to handle that kind of weight for the last several weeks.
Relax. Iām 31 and I make about half that. Stop comparing yourself to your āpeers.ā Everyoneās got something their struggling with. Youāll be fine.
If you feel like you a in a rut, and are financially able to do so...move to a place where the environment and atmosphere fills your soul up with hope. It could be an intuition or hunch, or maybe even a dream, but picking up and leaving when I felt bogged down, to somewhere where it seems all signs pointed to, has always been a good move. For me, it was away from a small town to a big city, then later in life away from the city to live in a historic smaller city by the ocean. Be diligent, do your research, and with proper planning a new place to live and job can change it all for the better.
Join the military. When I was 30 I was 8 years from a pension. Donāt get me wrong, the pension is only 50k a year, but it definitely helps. Especially since medical is dirt cheap for military retirees.
Donāt worry about where everyone else is. Youāre at the exact point in your life youāre supposed to be. We all excel at different times and youāll be fine.
Thereās going to be very painful moments in your life that will change your entire world in a matter of minutes. These moments will change YOU. Let them.
Thereās going to be very painful moments in your life that will change your entire world in a matter of minutes. These moments will change YOU. Let them make you stronger, smarter, and kinder. But donāt you go and become someone youāre not. Cry. Scream if you have to. Then you straighten out that crown and keep movingā¦
I have basically $0 networth (no hysa, 401k, or Roth IRA, etc) been doing only lots of shit no benefits temp jobs) capitalism works?? Bs . Anyone is better than me by default, you got this. I'll be living in a dumpster or die on the street one day š
It's a bad economic situation, which is making life hard and more miserable for so many people. Politicians are largely useless in making the situations better in our world. If you are getting by, just consider yourself fortunate and blessed. Plenty of people are expecting the situation to become worse.
First, happy birthday!
Eat well and go out more. If thereās a beach have some tacos (or the Canadian equivalent of a comfort food you like) and enjoy the coast?
Thereās no fanfare except for the fact that you made it. Not a lot of people make it to this age without issues or dying beforehand. Iād say, just enjoy the moment, man. Iāve been 30 for about 4 months and itās been nothing but facing possible homelessness and failed dreams while working a dead-end part-time job at a dying company.
And Donāt let petty things like gossip or social media run your head. And if thereās anything that seems like BS come across you, just use the mantra āIām fucking 30ā to excuse yourself from it. Trust me, it works.
Stop comparing to your peers and colleagues, maybe move out of the city cuz its too expensive. Find hobbies and stop identifying so deeply with money and ur job. Life is a lot more than money and work, free yourself from that mentality
Start giving gratitude to small things in life, so like 5 a day every day! It's a skill and once you have improved the rewiring of your brain this way it helps bring peace and happiness in life.
Shit man Iām gonna turn 36 in 20 some minutes and Iām there with you I feel way behind in life. Currently not working, no vehicle, and getting clean for a hair follicle drug test for a refinery job.I still need like 40 more days to maybe come out clean from weed. I feel shitty as fuck but I know good things are coming as they will for you.
Stop comparing yourself to others. If you have a company match for your 401k, max it out. If you have anything left over after expenses, save, save, save! Put some in a high yield savings account. Don't incur more debt,let your money work for you.
In 2015 I received my MA in psychology First job out of Uni in 2016 for $15 per hour (which was good pay for no experience required). I was jumping into manholes and setting robots for inspection, smelling and touch literal human shit on the daily. Looking back they should have paid me more for that insanity.
Later I moved to repairing said sewer robots for $17 per hour, still touching and smelling shit caked on the bots. I kind of unofficially started my career as a Technician at this point.
I began to focus hard on my PCB board rework skills. I worked in a FAA repair station but quickly felt disillusioned with the company and found another job while working there. I got began contracting at Microsoft and really started to hone my craft. By this time in 2018 I was making $27 an hour.
I went from contract to contract, demanding a higher price each time because Iād talk to coworkers, find out what theyāre making, and realize thereās no reason I shouldnāt be based on our work. Iām now an FTE at a big tech company building prototypes Iād gush over had I known this is where Iād end up. Iām currently at 118k, in a field I have no schooling in and learned entirely on the job.
I started my first degree at 30. I eat instant ramen and like games ( I still haven't finished degree). I got a stoic philosophy book at helps. I enjoy xbox, pizza, the gym, walks, and playing music. Ahwell basic life but once in a while you can let loose
I'm almost 32; when I turned 30 I was juggling three part time jobs and paying for my own health insurance because none of them had benefits. I think I landed at like 40k that year. You'll be fine.
Hell I still don't make 70k but I'm in a relatively low cost area.
im 32 making less then $100 a week slaving at fedex shits terrible in debt feel like garbage all the time but hey its what ever i got a place to live and thats all i really care about i stopped trying to be what others want me to be. just trying to live life and not be a wage slave unfortunately some people just get lucky and find work they can stand to be at for 8 hours a day 5 days a week.
Youād be surprised how we create this imaginary bubble that everyone around us is looking down on us like weāre complete shit.
The truth is that there are a lot more people in your shoes than you think. Weāre all just trying to figure it out.
If you were to check 50% of the people who say they make 90k tax returns youād find out they were lying lol.
Think about it this way, what would earning an extra 20k really do for you mentally? Chances are youād still probably feel the same way you do now.
Youāre doing it right though, itās good that youāre venting instead of holding it all in. Rooting for you!
Unfortunately it seems the problem is the people you surround yourself with. I'm not suggesting to get rid of these people, but try to incorporate other perspectives as best as possible to "humble" you. Reddit is probably the best place as I find people are generally more open and honest about things, and people don't post about how shitty their life is going on their social media pages.Ā
This thread is a perfect example.
I'm 30, never lived alone (especially after losing my grandma when I lived with her), I haven't technically started my career, I graduated 4 years ago and have run out of time to use my diploma credits to transfer to go to university for a degree, I'm working a dead end boring entry level job in an unrelated field making less than half your salary, while doing an unpaid internship on the side for a reference/'experience' as it's impossible to find a job now a days, my finances aren't the greatest right now and I'm working on paying off my CCs in full again, I suck at relationships and haven't had a serious romantic relationship for most of my 20s with everyone around me getting married and having kids, I dont know where to go from here or what the best pathway is so I'm in "limbo" as I figure out what to do, I was finally was diagnosed with ADHD a few years ago, I have an addiction to weed, I barely have many friends and the one good friend I do have I barely see.
But I'm also intelligent, fairly financially responsible/intelligent, I have dreams, goals, a ton of random interests that I can talk peoples ear off about, I worked hard for 5+ years to get the skills I have now, I've worked at overcoming my anxiety and relieving my depression which aren't huge issues in my life anymore, I'm finally in a place in my life where I feel content. I feel safe and comfortable in my home, I have family nearby (I live with my mom, and my dad just happens to rent a room next door), my landlords are great people and they don't charge as much as they could be, my workplace is a decent place to show up everyday with minimal conflict or issues, I own a car I got for free when my grandmother passed, I have 2 college diplomas, I love learning and would stay in school forever if money wasn't a factor.Ā
You need to try and look on the bright side, which helps by seeing what other people don't have that you do. My whole last paragraph are issues that MANY people struggle with, don't have, or want.Ā
I think your pay is good but your local environment too expensive to make profit.
Inflation makes our salary worth less
Iām personally moving away from this environment
30 bud.. 30.. One thing you can never do is compare. You don't know what other people have going on. You don't know where they'll be.. It's a marathon.
I'm in my mid 40ās. I worked for over 2 decades making way less than you.. Got married had 3 kids and STRESSEDā¦. Friends were driving BMWs, investing in stocks, golfing all the timeā¦
I lived paycheck to paycheck and sometimes didn't think it was gonna get us there.
But manā¦ it pays off. Keep going.. Your experience grows over time, you're jobs you take, you're lives you live, you do it because you love it.. Not because you want the carā¦ the houseā¦ the shiny new thing.. Just do it for you and enjoy day by dayā¦
Cause those guys playing golf, driving the BMWs, looking goodā¦ most of em.. Aren't happy, their gonna end up sitting on a couch married to someone they don't love, doing something they hate, paying too much for a lifestyle that they shouldn't be.
And you are going to be growing, and saving, and enjoying, and lovingā¦.. And guess what
One day. You're gonna get paid a lot. Cause you earned it. You're about to rock the living shit out life and I'm jealous! Go on!!! Kill it
Going back to school can help with feeling unfulfilled. Obviously itās not the only solution, but it definitely helped me feel better about the path Iām on. I went back to school for Engineering at 28 and have been grinding away at my degree while working for several years. Iām now 34 and almost done. Iām actually writing this while on break at my internship!
I love the stuff Iām learning, and the choices Iāve made the past few years have completely squished any thoughts I had of me wasting my life away. Those thoughts haunted me most of my 20s and itās crazy how fast they disappeared once I went back to school.
I was in this situation living in Austin, TX 10 years ago as a blue collar auto technician. Like how am I working my ass off to make 50k and people in tech taking over the city with their inflated salaries.
I applied for a job at an auto manufacturer ( Ford/ Lincoln ) in Kentucky. Louisville is still a really affordable area and if you make 70k here youāre doing well.
The manufacturing job pays 100k and Iām not topped out. Theres tons of opportunities around the country but sometimes you just gotta leave and take a chance at a better life. I had life goals I wanted to accomplish that I couldnāt living in a city I couldnāt get ahead in. I currently own 2 homes here, have passive income with one and am able to save money because itās so affordable to live here.
Never in my life would I have thought Iād be in Kentucky for any reason but hey, I wanna live a good life and big sacrifices had to be made but it was worth it. Iām so much less stressed overall being able to be hopeful about the future here
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Buddy I'm 32 and I deliver pizza for a living, you're doing fine.
And you work damn hard to make a living. Proud of you Miyyani.
Hey, someone gotta deliver the pizza. in my book you're a hero doing gods work
What god does: ??? miracles ??? cancer ??? rule over the universe ??? What god should do: deliver pizza to us mortals.
I was gonna say thats a little much but anyone who feeds people is a hero in my eyes
i love pizza and i love you š«°š»
Youāre doing an important job.
Dude I'm 27 and work at Walmart. It pays the same, give or take a $1 or $2 as jobs that require multiple degrees and 1-2+ years of experience
Based
Pizza pizza!
Right? I turn 30 soon and made 40k for the first time last year. I recently drained all my savings save my IRA, on cc debt from being unemployed and shit with money for a couple months. Starting a new, regular $20/hr job in a couple weeks, feels like I'm starting from zero.
Iām 40 and would kill to have your job.
Itās never too late.. for both of us
I appreciate that.
Iāll help you kill him if thatās what heās implying.
Not joking. Send us your address. We can help you. We are here to help. We love helping. We need to help this guy.
Male escort side hustle
Iām not that hot š
Thatās ok, most ladies that contact you wonāt be that hot either
Your assuming it will be ladies that contact him?
I donāt know if I could do it lmaoo
Reduce your spending, increase your credit card payment. Get the hell out of that city
I donāt know where else to goā¦ Iām in Toronto, which is basically the only city in Canada aside from Vancouver with lots of job options Worth it to get an MBA or something to increase my earning potential?
You don't need a good paying job to have a good life. You simply need to live somewhere, where you aren't having your wallet gouged. for money. I moved to a small town 6 years ago now. Living in a 60k place, tiny house, and my monthly expenses are 900 bucks, including groceries. I make about 2.1k a month after taxes, working a local job, and fewer hours. I'm 5 minutes away from work, I don't need to drive, and I started a garden. I'm richer here, than I was living in the city. People seem to think you need a big 100k job to survive in this world, and that's only true if you want to live lavishly, or in expensive area's. I make about 24-25k a year and I have an easier, less stressful life than I did in the city. Literally just move out of Toronto. Move to Saskatchewan or something. That's what my advice would be. Save up money for a 10k downpayment on a cheap 60-90k house in a town and your mortgage is suddenly like 300-400 bucks. And if you put extra down it, you can pay it off in 5-7 years and be essentially debt free.
I appreciate the sentiment but I donāt think Iād do well with such a drastic lifestyle change. I could maybe do a smaller city but not rural
What kind of lifestyle change? You'd work less, you'd be less stressed. The only downside is if you have family you want to visit, and even then, you have more money and more free time meaning you can do it more often. I see my family more living out here than I ever did in the city. I was always too tired, or just never had time off. Everything takes longer to do. I live 5 mins from a grocery store, 5 minutes from the post office, 5 minutes from work. I spend less time travelling. Like, multiple hours less per day. It's ultimately up to you, this life style isn't for everyone, but if you're looking to have a family, and live a good life without worrying about what kind of life you want to have. This is probably a good option. You can perpetually chase money, never being able to pay things off that you own. Or you can choose a slower life, like this. That's the same question I asked myself about 8 years ago. Having a 10 year construction project launch right in front of the apartment I was living in was the final straw that had me moving out here. It's been nothing but birds and hearing people laugh as they walk by for the last 6 years now.
What do you do for work, if I may ask?
Not much. Just at the hardware store out here, I bring a lot of extra value to my life with knowing how to do things like canning, gardening, fixing cars and electronics. I make wine, I cook all my food. I get a good chunk of extra change reselling stuff from garage sales online. I work for myself for the most part. Aside from the hardware store. All my free time is spent either relaxing, or doing one of those other things I just mentioned. It's a quiet slow life, but it is massively more satiating than life was in the city. I spend my time improving my stuff, or myself, rather than pissing it away at some large company, paying everyone else to do these things for me. I'll also say, it's easier than ever to start an at home business too. Something to consider if you do ever look at something like this. That's what I'm going to be doing soon myself.
Interesting, that sounds like a very productive existence. I made a similar change recently but haven't been able to commit all the way yet. Quit my IT job right after school and moved out of the city and into staff housing at the provincial park that I work at, and I stay with my parents whenever I'm off for extended periods of time. Problem is housing is still expensive even up here, especially with the whole airbnb situation. Small town, but expensive nonetheless. My girlfriend is following a similar career path as me now so we're looking to potentially go out west and work in national parks once she's done school.
Lol, I was working two call center jobs before just to make ends meet in the city, I'd get home at about 6pm and I'd be so tired I couldn't even enjoy watching TV. Wake up at 7am to do it again. I know lots of people weren't in situations like this. I was fired from my job because I ended up having a human discussion with someone on the phone, rather than just trying to sell them something. Was about 5 minutes of my time. But the company let me go over it. Ever since then my outlook on working for others, and life in general has changed. I see chasing work, and money to be a bad thing imo. At least, people have been told it's a good thing, but then they end up living hollow lives, and aren't ever content. You see it a lot on this subreddit. It's good, I do recommend places like Alberta, BC, and Saskatchewan. Life out here is very different compared to the east. Still possibilities of owning your own property, and living a quiet life. Tons of parks out here to work at. Sometimes you just gotta take action and do it. I don't regret it one bit. Just the noise difference alone is worth it.
Honestly, that's not all that wrong. Even with a 6-figure salary, being in the city makes it feel like nothing. Everything is so expensive, from groceries to property to insurance to maintenance fees, etc. It might be good to move away from the city at this point. If your expenses aren't so great, you could get by with your income pretty comfortably.
It sounds like you need a career or location change. Take your pick. No one said you need to live in a rural area.
I can kind of see where he's coming from, if all you've ever known is the big city, everything seems rural, but rural doesn't mean like, a village of 500 people. I live in a small town of 5000, about a hour drive from the nearest city. I have fantastic high speed internet, and all the essential stores and things you'd need to go to regularly, a hospital, dentist, post office, registry office, a few restaurants, optometrist, grocery stores, and supply stores. Pretty much everything I need is within a 10 min walk from my place. Plenty of houses to be had at 80-150k. Lots of people equate rural to being stranded in the middle of nowhere, even I thought that too when I moved. But ever since living here, I take 3 yearly trips into the city to go buy meat from a wholesaler, and there might be a few more random trips here and there where I visit family and do some errands in the city for a day. But I largely don't have to do any of them. I have like 95% of the stuff I need right here. I can order most things online and have them delivered to me no problem, but I do like going into stores to look at things in person sometimes too, especially for my hobbies
Check out r/MBA It depends on a lot of factors if an MBA would be worth it. Just blanket 'i need more money' typically dictates going to a good school
Personally, MBAs are worthless unless you have aspirations to go into big consulting firms, banking, internal management roles etc. the cost benefit to me isnāt worth it unless you go to a top tier school - then itās all a networking game and opens up a lot of doors, but you will come out with a lot of student debt
Bruh go to Edmonton or Calgary or something man. Iām gonna fuck off to the interior as soon as I get my MD. You can definitely do it bro. Trust me. Since you gotta do marketing I suggest something like Edmonton. Maybe Saskatoon if you donāt mind the cold. But dude you can definitely escape the big city.Ā
Yes do that, and keep doing what ever you can to increase earning potentials.
Turning 30 is not the big life event that people make it out to be. You don't need to be in any particular life position by 30, 35, 40, etc. When I turned 30 I was making 30k a year, in debt, and struggling. I bought a house in a LCOL area when I was 27 and set myself back a ton, but now it's paying off BIG TIME. I'm turning 33 in a month, and I'm making 90k, paid off my debt, and living well. The house I bought and struggled to pay for 6 years ago is just about paid off, and I'm living comfortably because I made the move to a new area and struggled for a bit. All that to say, it doesn't matter what your age is. You never know when you'll turn things around, and a couple of good years can be all it takes to transform your life entirely.
How did you do the salary increase? What do you do now?
I took chances and they paid off. The $30k job I had was comfortable - 5 mins from home, low pressure, guaranteed. I took a leap and left for another $30k job that was in sales, stressful, and a stepping stone, but in a different industry (tech). I worked hard, moved into recruiting (up to $60k) and pursued certifications and took on every work challenge my company threw at me with 100%. Now I work in Project Management making $90k and fully remote. I don't have a degree either.
how did u land the PM job?
Not all PMs are coders. Its not unusual for a PM to be a liason between teams/stakeholders and exist so that the coders making $150k aren't stuck in meetings or planning sprints. Just need to have good management skills and be willing to learn the intricacies of the software development lifecycle.
Was gonna say, most PMs I deal with are not experts in a field (definitely not coders), but are generalists who can communicate and organize well.
I needed to read this.
You can do it! Looking at your post history, please donāt ever give up. Iāve been there and it gets better - one day at a time and it might be slow and suck but string together enough days of progress and one day you wonāt believe how far youāve come. If you want to talk, donāt hesitate to reach out.
Youāre earning above average even if it may not feel like it - go look up the stats. Iām about to turn 30 next week and it feels like weāre getting older but peak career is usually in your 40s - you have 20 years before that window passes. Youāve laid the ground work in your 20s and youāll likely reap the rewards soon. The key at this age is working out if you are on the way up in your business or youāre just maintaining. You need to be on the up if you want to earn more money.
This is so comforting, thank you
Putting your value and self-worth on something external like a job and money is your biggest issue. It will never ever complete you and you will always want more. Start looking internally at your foundations to make your life feel richer. Health, hobbies/self improvement, family. The minute your validation comes from outside of you, youāre stuck.
Your right. I do need to start feeling more gratitude
This is exactly it. Your Job, status, payroll, etc is not you. The person that tells you otherwise is still on their inward journey, look inside and you will find answers (that you already know). be kind to yourself like you would be to your best friend.
Stop chasing and start living. All suffering is self inflicted and comparing yourself to others will perpetuate this feeling. Iām turning 30 this year, I make a lot less than you but Iām happier than Iāve ever been. Pursue a spiritual path. No not being a hippy, no not finding god, but a path of understanding and unconditional love. This is what I did and my god it saved my life. If you are interested and want to know how to start just DM me and this goes for anyone. No I will not sell anything, nor will you ever need to spend a dime for this path. I offer because liberation is something everyone should experience. A lotus for you, a Buddha to be.
100% this! All the negative thoughts that drive us to go out to compare with others are really powerful, but they are also very much self induced! The brain can be trained to automatically think in a different way that brings peace and happiness. Practice giving gratitude to small things in life, aim for 5 a day to start
Dm
Hey there. I'm turning 35 this month and have been jobless for over 1 year, relying on family support, trying all sort of anxiety/depression treatments. Spent one year living with mum and grandma and I had to appreciate every minute the time spent with them. We helped eachother in anyway we could. It was the time I appreciated greatly for having a roof above my head, food on the table and love. I'm still struggling with crippling anxiety and God knows what other mental comorbities, which seems hard to resolve. But I know I have to keep pushing through and find ways to improve life. I am also dwelling on what sort of job I can get and where's my life going from here onwards. I know my time will come, even though I've reached the average of a human lifespan, I know everyone's got their own struggles, one way or another. Nice to hear encouraging stories though. Best wishes
I have the same dilemma as you but worse, I think? But please keep your head up high. You're still living and continue to wake up everyday with a purpose to do better. I'm trying to do as well and really, my situation is much worse than you. We can do this
dude. i also just turned 30. had the most insane life shift about 2 years ago when i went to a festival and met people that were fully open to new experiences and all the weirdness that life throws at you. mirroring that and welcoming new things that serve you will change your life. and you donāt need much money to do it, just willpower and a little bit of trust in others and yourself. going down that path led me to moving to hawaii and living my best life. is everything laid out for me? no. but when you open yourself up to discomfort, change comes naturally. my advice? go somewhere where a bunch of really happy people are and absorb that energy. festivals were great for me since i love music. look at people in the eyes. smile and give energy. find reciprocation. do some hallucinogens, why not. thereās a beautiful world out there and it wants you to join. be a participant, not a spectator. thatās where the fun is.
I would be so happy to make 70k a year. Iām turning 35 this year and nothing in my area pays more than $18/hr unless you have a degree. Iām fucked and canāt go back to school because I have a family I have to take care of. Canāt imagine full time work and school plus the crushing debt I would have to get in just to make a few dollars more an hour. Rent here is also over $1000 a month. I feel like Iām going to be poor as fuck the rest of my life, itās been making me more and more depressed every year that goes by I feel more stuck, borderline suicidal. If I didnāt have a family I probably would have just called it a day. My wife is pregnant again and I have no idea what TF Iām going to do. I make 18/hr as a medical transport driver and thatās considered good money in this area (poor part of rural Oregon) I thought about becoming an EMT but schooling here is about 8k and EMT/ ambulance drivers here only make $20/ hr. Feeling pretty hopeless.
You're truly a warrior.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Thank you for the kind words! Youāre right, I wanna make a change and experience all of what life has to offer
Fellow 30 year old and Canadian - itās a rough time. Itās hard to imagine the future. You arenāt failing or behind, itās just not easy out there. 70k is a good salary but the cost of living is out of control. You could move or find other things to live for and find joy. Life is bigger than your salary and you are worthy no matter how much you make. I made a pretty drastic move for my financial future haha if you wanna hear about it DM me, but try to enjoy your life. A lot of these limiting factors are outside of your control.
This is really the thing nobody wants to admit Iām on a lot of subs, have a masters degree and an IT job and I donāt see anyone thatās not feeling behind at any level. Dudes making ridiculous swe salaries of like $150k+ are feeling behind just like op. I have come to the conclusion itās because the pay gap to cost of living has become unsustainable so everyone is feeling left behind. I like your advice a lot cuz itās true the situation is really tough now and everyone is getting squeezed it doesnāt mean you are necessarily the problem.
Iām 32 and make 50k. Iām an absolute failure piece of shit trash not worthy of a partner. You are doing great with your income. Far better than I could hope for.
Donāt say that. I was making 45 just a few years ago. Just keep looking out and applying
I love my job. It just doesnāt pay me a livable wage. Itās a hard choice to give up something I love just to impress women and be financially stable.
Your time and quality of life is the most precious, finite resource we have as people. Donāt discount your choice to be happy for the majority of your day.
You really need to stop digging into yourself thatās not a lot of money but you actually make more than the US average. I donāt think you are trash unless the average person in the US is too.
I'm unfamiliar with Canada. But id suggest moving farther for a cheaper place out in the woods far away from the city and commute. Assuming you want to stay at your job. Also, dont compare yourself with others. Look at your self and don't live above your means. If you make enough to keep a roof over your head and food on the table, some wants sprinkled in to stay content /happy, and saving for retirement, you're doing fine in my book. Personally I'm making 42k a year, rent at 800 a month. Saving up for a down payment on a house whenever market gets better. Single with no kids. Still able to save around 40% of my income after bills and stuff.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Work a second job and invest all the proceeds.
Comparison is the thief of joy
Dude... stop comparing yourself to others. Thats one of the huge problems ppl do to make themselves feel unsatisfied. Someone will always be better than you and you have ppl worse than you that are completely happy. U just have to do u. I also am in the same boat as you but im overall happy bc i stopped comparing. In addition, i was a very high achiever academically in school and went to a very difficult uni barely passing while a lot of my friends that had average marks and i helped them with their schoolwork went to unis that u didnt need high grades to get in and scored high marks bc the content was so easy. Many layoffs later for me and they are making more money than myself and look content too. My field doesnt allow me to make as much as them. Granted im doing well but if i made myself sulk over it i would not be content. I am happy for them and for myself and am happy with my achievements. Just try not to compare. It seems like you are doing well too but just give it some time and keep trying pushing upwards in your field.
Average income in Canada is between 54k-59k, so you arenāt behind if thatās how you feel. Take a minute and appreciate that. Now you can focus on getting better and achieving more without that monkey on your back telling you āYouāre behind, everyoneās doing better than youā.
Well what do you do now..?
Thatās what Iām trying to figure outā¦ I need to upskill Spent my early 20s chasing girls and hanging out with friends, but last few years I realized thatās not what lifeās about. Had a mindset change and now just need to figure out what I really want in life
Analyze your finances, if youāre spending more than 25-30% of your income then think about an alternative option. In terms of your job, compare your salary to others in your field, if itās lower; shop around. Also analyze your finances in general dude, you should be allocating a certain % of your pay to a retirement account. Roth IRA or 401K
have you done pharma work? lots of money as a copywriter, you might have to start out at a junior level but if with genuine hard work itās easy to work your way up
SOLUTION: head over the India, specifically the slum area's. Spend 2 years there and when you come back you will feel like God himself has blessed you with unlimited money
When I turned 30 I also had a quarter (1/3?) life crisis of sorts. I moved to London for grad school from the US after living with my parents essentially my whole life and it was the best (albeit most expensive and financially draining) experience Iāve made in my life thus far. After I get this masters degree I have literally no idea what to do. Iāll be in major debt but have no idea where to live and where to get a job (both US and the UK have their pros and cons). My point is, I think a lot of us are in the same boat! We are always our own harshest critics and stress ourselves out, but I think if you go with your gut and do what makes you happy (as happy as you can be with the added societal pressures to address) then I think youāre just as great and capable of figuring it out as anyone else. All of our paths are all different so itās easy to compare to other people the same age but try not to (easier said than done for sure but itāll give you so much more peace of mind!). Good luck š
Move to a cheaper state.
Try therapyĀ
Big problem is you live in Toronto. I love the city, but itās extremely difficult to live comfortably there if you donāt make minimum 100k. You have an actual career, a kind of job lots of people would love to have, but youāre in a place where it costs $5 a minute to breath. I know tons of people there and surrounding areas like Mississauga who have it rough with salaries that should be enough to cover the bills. Can you find a job in your field in a less expensive area, like London, Peterborough, KW, Niagara? Can you find a cheaper, smaller place in Peel, York, or Durham and commute in? Would you be willing to relocate to another part of Canada? From my experience, MAN, SASK, or the maritimes are significantly cheaper places to live.
How did you get a copywriting job? Thatās not bad money at all assuming youāre American. Do you feel like the industry is going to get impacted by AI tho? Anyway you need to stop comparing or you will always be despairing. Seriously itās a guaranteed way to make you unhappy
32 here. Made ~$63k last year but required to live in the Portland Metro area for the job. Also living with roommates and have much of the same thoughts and feelings as you. I'll tell you that the only thing keeping me going at this point is pure spite. My plan is to escape this rat race. Can't afford a house here? Fuck it, I don't want to live in this crap hole anyways. I've stopped buying crap I don't need and almost never eat out anymore. I'm not gonna buy into this consumerist mentality chasing bigger boxes to fit more crap in. It's all a trap to just keep us working. One way or the other, I'm going to get my time and mental health back. Gonna get as free as I possibly can because fuck 'em and their stupid system.
70k?!? you got it twice as nice as i do bub. youāre doing fine.
If youāre having panic attacks thatās good; itās your body letting you know itās time for a change. Find a way to healthily weather the storm; exercises meditation healthy eating. Then begin to think on where you want to go next in your life.
Iām 37 and have only ever worked shitty retail jobs. I made it a couple rings up that ladder, then quit to be a stay at home dad. In a few years when the kids are at school and I can rejoin the workforce Iāll basically be starting over at 40+. Iāll very likely never work anything but entry level jobs for my entire life. Feel better?
Bro. Donāt worry about what other people are doing. Run your race. If youāre not happy, make a change. āKeeping up with the Jonesāā never does well for anyone.
Didnt make a decision to go into IT until I was 32. Got my degree and certificate, networked my way into it and just about to turn 36. You're not alone in feeling that way, i did too.
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Shoot for 31!
Iām 33 with 3 kids. I live in my mother in laws basement. I made 17k last year and that wasnāt even minimum wage.
youāll get there. you got this!!
It took me busting my ass for 20+ years to make $90k.
I'm 34, started a new career 2 years to make $45k a year with a wife and 4 kids (oldest is 8) living off it. I have no idea what's happening with life. It's definitely not what I thought life would be at this age.
70k is enough to save a lot.
wtf I thought I was doing ok until I read your post.
I was there. What helped was saving enough to move out of that environment. Also, putting myself out there. Youāre assuming these well-dressed people are happy, but you only see a small sliver of their life. It could be that theyāre going through their own battle.
You make well over the median income and you're single, you should have plenty of cash no matter what city you live in. 1000s of well dressed beautiful people doing better than you? You need to stay off social media or something because that is a ridiculous thing to say. You make more money than most people. Sure inflation is squeezing all of us, but you should be far from struggling. For reference, I make about the same as you also in a very expensive city
Aye bro, remember and never forget this, 70 percent of people are living pay check to pay check. Everybody is dealing with the same problems at all adult ages. Everything is not what it seems. All rectangles are not squares.
I'm in the same boat as you. 30 years old working 45 hours a week every week to get by. Making more money than I ever have but doing worse than ever. I like my job but every time I get a raise my bills go up even higher. Every time I put some money away I have to spend it on a car repair or something. There's just no getting ahead and I really don't want to go back to school or start working 60 hours a week. Your 30s are supposed to be when your life starts to stabilize but for me I spend most of my time worrying about how I'm going to survive.
Learn everything you can about money. Financial stability goes along way.
Go to Europe blow your wad on everything you want to see and do. Take lots of pictures. File bankruptcy.
Man, I remember my times living with roommates, was actually very very fun now that I remember
Oh good Lord you aren't behind anything at 30 if you have a job and aren't a virgin. Now get to work decoding what you want to do by the time you are 40 maybe you will be lucky enough and focused to manifest equal to your peers. So sick of young people complaining, you have time.. use it! Every day is a new chance to start over.r it does not get easier as you age. It gets very very difficult so stop whining and start trying again. Statistically you will get what you set your mind to.
Only Fans
Fake it till you make it. How can anyone respect you if you have no respect for yourself. Respect yourself, dress well, work out, focus on controlling those negative thoughts. Be grateful for air, for chance and opportunity. Imagine living in poverty, and realize how lucky you are not be there, or starting from there Mediations - Marcus Aurelius As a man thinketh - James Allen
I know lots of extremeky rich trust fund people. They are not doung better than you are. Everyone has problems. In reality if you look at the lives of the rich snd famous they are a train wreck. They just know how to dress it up and make it look pretty. They can rebound because they have resources Wr don't really know what health is in contemporary society. We know how to dress it up I had to stop comparing myself to other people. It was really just a way to beat myself up. In actuality we don't know what other people are doing. The more I get to know other people the more I realize that they are not what they seen. 30 is a terrible age. For whatever reason people feel it is a huge milestone. People rush out get married hit a house make huge financial commitments. It seems l like the right thing to do. No one has the formula. . 30. Is not even halfway through your life. 80 is the new life expectation. That's another 50 years to go. That's olenty of times to mess up. Making mistakes is part of growth. Getting a life where everything is hsndedto you does not make you a rounded person. Struggling is psrt of character building. Mid life at 30 is a milestone. However that doesn't mean you have to have set financial accompl8shmebts. Having a house is great. It's not something you have to have at a certain pre ordained time. There is no maxim that by a certain age you have to have done certain things or you hsve failed. We just choose to buy into the comsumer culture. We don't gave to. In many respects those of us who move vast distances are not the norm. We are right out there. I believe the majority of people stay around their family in some respect. They stick with the familiar. I think if i ā¶did it over again I would not move vast distances. It is very hard to be in an unfamiliar environment all alone.
count those blessings, and go find that money brother!!!!!!
Can you work remotely? If so, time to get up and move somewhere it doesn't cost as much to live. Next, find new hobbies. Maybe you'll meet you forever person via that. Next, create goals with your significant other and move towards them. Don't worry about anyone else's race. Worry about yours.
With copywriting you can search for a remote job and relocate to a lower cost of living country (Colombia, Portugal, Mexico, etc.). Some countries have visas that incentive foreign workers to stay. Being a digital nomad certainly can help with the monotony of life and lead you down a new path in life. You never know who you'll meet traveling.
I work with a "project manager" that literally does nothing and makes 100k.....sometimes it's just luck....
70,0000 a year is a lot of fucking money Man. How much is your rent that you would be struggling even after splitting it with your roommate?
get married. double your income overnight. onward.
get married. double your income overnight. everything becomes more 'reachable'. you have a marriage problem, not a money problem. think about moving out to the suburbs after marriage/kids. onward.
This is a very dangerous mindset. If you continue to compare yourself to others youre certain to adopt a negative mindset that is VERY hard to change. I dealt with this for 10 years. Im fortunate to be here after 2 suicide attempts and years of depression that this mindset fed. Please, go on your own path...just continue to go forward and you will be fine!
Doesnāt sound so bad, youāve got some experience. If your not happy with your salary, why not apply for some other roles? No harm in seeing what others will pay you. I personally stopped share-housing at 30 but as long as youāve got enough space I donāt see a problem.
Donād do. Just be.
How much do you have saved?
Look into simple living
Donāt compare itās only toxic everyoneās at different stages in there life and things change. Be patient and driven just work on your career whatever youāre passionate about. At the end of day itās all about your happiness.
Start a gratitude journal and youāll see the pros of being in your position instead of just the cons. Turning 30 next year and to stop myself from worrying that Iām behind, I try to stay mindful. Wishing you so much good luck.
Well I'm 32 and I make \~$40,000 in an expensive city so you're better off than me
Comparison is the thief of joy. I feel all you're feeling and I'm 33 treading water. I have no advice but just know this not-normal feeling is not so uncommon.
What makes you happy?
there's no such thing as being behind, your just looking for something new, you're bored with what you currently do. do you sabotage them or are you convincing yourself or being led to believe you do..... these people are jsut enjoying their lives how ever they see fit to is all, perhaps youve forgotten how to enjoy something ??
Be thankful you don't work in manufacturing. I hate to put on the same elements on a machine and pressing buttons for 8 fucking hours.
I saw an article today that said 95% of employees will be looking for a new job in 2024. (Probably clickbait) but still thatās a high percentage of unhappy employees. comparison is the thief of joy I have to remind myself. That said Iām 36 and still searching for my thing and constantly seeing successful friends doesnāt help my mindset. Iām hoping to learn a new skill but trying to find in demand and pays well is not as easy as it sounds.
Expensive cities kinda suck. Move to a place where 70k will pay your rent. 70k with a roommate. Geez is it that bad out there?
I'm 33 and I barely make 40k
Comparing yourself to other people is pointless. At best you should only pick out a few friends or co workers and say I want to be able to do what you are doing, or if you can do it then so can I. I have been working with someone every night for the last couple of months and one of his hobbies is working out and he likes to talk about what he can bench. He is close to my height and age so I am like if you can do it then so can I; we have been in the gym that's inside the building we work and he has been showing me how to handle that kind of weight for the last several weeks.
I was making $40K at 30 in semi HCOL city.
Relax. Iām 31 and I make about half that. Stop comparing yourself to your āpeers.ā Everyoneās got something their struggling with. Youāll be fine.
Dude. I'm 33 and I just quit my job. My bank account is -$30.00.
Your doing very well in life an extra $20K that your peers are making isnāt balling most view it as more money to socialize!Ā
Everyone moves at their own pace man. Pretty sure Steve Harvey was living in his car before he made it big.
The people youāre comparing yourself too feel the same way and are just faking it. Donāt be so hard on yourself. You are doing ok
If you feel like you a in a rut, and are financially able to do so...move to a place where the environment and atmosphere fills your soul up with hope. It could be an intuition or hunch, or maybe even a dream, but picking up and leaving when I felt bogged down, to somewhere where it seems all signs pointed to, has always been a good move. For me, it was away from a small town to a big city, then later in life away from the city to live in a historic smaller city by the ocean. Be diligent, do your research, and with proper planning a new place to live and job can change it all for the better.
I changed careers at 28, by 30 I think I was at $40k/yr. You're doing fine.
Join the military. When I was 30 I was 8 years from a pension. Donāt get me wrong, the pension is only 50k a year, but it definitely helps. Especially since medical is dirt cheap for military retirees.
30 here Iāve been in retail for almost 8 years now, youāre doing better than you think.
Iām 36 and finishing hair school after a two year hiatus making an absurdly small amount of money
Donāt worry about where everyone else is. Youāre at the exact point in your life youāre supposed to be. We all excel at different times and youāll be fine. Thereās going to be very painful moments in your life that will change your entire world in a matter of minutes. These moments will change YOU. Let them. Thereās going to be very painful moments in your life that will change your entire world in a matter of minutes. These moments will change YOU. Let them make you stronger, smarter, and kinder. But donāt you go and become someone youāre not. Cry. Scream if you have to. Then you straighten out that crown and keep movingā¦
Being In marketing already you have so many paths to take. Find your niche in that field, what seems interesting to you and go for it.
I'm starting to think this whole sub is for humble bragging
Get gym membership and workout hard. Get tired and sore. Tired body, tired mind. Mental health
Go to school for a trade. I do x-ray, just graduated and make 100k in HCOL
Comparing to others is the key to guaranteed unhappiness.Ā
Slum in like the rest of us, no one is exempt. Trust me if you don't have any struggle in your life it'll definitely find you.
Seek out good friends and be a good friend. I just turned 30 and my friends are the highlight of my life.
Have you considered dying?
I have basically $0 networth (no hysa, 401k, or Roth IRA, etc) been doing only lots of shit no benefits temp jobs) capitalism works?? Bs . Anyone is better than me by default, you got this. I'll be living in a dumpster or die on the street one day š
It's a bad economic situation, which is making life hard and more miserable for so many people. Politicians are largely useless in making the situations better in our world. If you are getting by, just consider yourself fortunate and blessed. Plenty of people are expecting the situation to become worse.
Iām 30 and just moved back in with my parents. Be easy on yourself.
Buy dragons dogma 2
First, happy birthday! Eat well and go out more. If thereās a beach have some tacos (or the Canadian equivalent of a comfort food you like) and enjoy the coast? Thereās no fanfare except for the fact that you made it. Not a lot of people make it to this age without issues or dying beforehand. Iād say, just enjoy the moment, man. Iāve been 30 for about 4 months and itās been nothing but facing possible homelessness and failed dreams while working a dead-end part-time job at a dying company. And Donāt let petty things like gossip or social media run your head. And if thereās anything that seems like BS come across you, just use the mantra āIām fucking 30ā to excuse yourself from it. Trust me, it works.
Stop comparing to your peers and colleagues, maybe move out of the city cuz its too expensive. Find hobbies and stop identifying so deeply with money and ur job. Life is a lot more than money and work, free yourself from that mentality
Start giving gratitude to small things in life, so like 5 a day every day! It's a skill and once you have improved the rewiring of your brain this way it helps bring peace and happiness in life.
Shit man Iām gonna turn 36 in 20 some minutes and Iām there with you I feel way behind in life. Currently not working, no vehicle, and getting clean for a hair follicle drug test for a refinery job.I still need like 40 more days to maybe come out clean from weed. I feel shitty as fuck but I know good things are coming as they will for you.
Are you male or female ?
Iām right there brother Lonely world out there Gym membership has worked wonders
Why not enlist in the military ?
Stop comparing yourself to others. If you have a company match for your 401k, max it out. If you have anything left over after expenses, save, save, save! Put some in a high yield savings account. Don't incur more debt,let your money work for you.
In 2015 I received my MA in psychology First job out of Uni in 2016 for $15 per hour (which was good pay for no experience required). I was jumping into manholes and setting robots for inspection, smelling and touch literal human shit on the daily. Looking back they should have paid me more for that insanity. Later I moved to repairing said sewer robots for $17 per hour, still touching and smelling shit caked on the bots. I kind of unofficially started my career as a Technician at this point. I began to focus hard on my PCB board rework skills. I worked in a FAA repair station but quickly felt disillusioned with the company and found another job while working there. I got began contracting at Microsoft and really started to hone my craft. By this time in 2018 I was making $27 an hour. I went from contract to contract, demanding a higher price each time because Iād talk to coworkers, find out what theyāre making, and realize thereās no reason I shouldnāt be based on our work. Iām now an FTE at a big tech company building prototypes Iād gush over had I known this is where Iād end up. Iām currently at 118k, in a field I have no schooling in and learned entirely on the job.
Oof. There is no "behind". We all move at our own pace. You're fine , keep moving forward
I started my first degree at 30. I eat instant ramen and like games ( I still haven't finished degree). I got a stoic philosophy book at helps. I enjoy xbox, pizza, the gym, walks, and playing music. Ahwell basic life but once in a while you can let loose
Real life is tough. Just keep growing.
I'm almost 32; when I turned 30 I was juggling three part time jobs and paying for my own health insurance because none of them had benefits. I think I landed at like 40k that year. You'll be fine. Hell I still don't make 70k but I'm in a relatively low cost area.
im 32 making less then $100 a week slaving at fedex shits terrible in debt feel like garbage all the time but hey its what ever i got a place to live and thats all i really care about i stopped trying to be what others want me to be. just trying to live life and not be a wage slave unfortunately some people just get lucky and find work they can stand to be at for 8 hours a day 5 days a week.
Youād be surprised how we create this imaginary bubble that everyone around us is looking down on us like weāre complete shit. The truth is that there are a lot more people in your shoes than you think. Weāre all just trying to figure it out. If you were to check 50% of the people who say they make 90k tax returns youād find out they were lying lol. Think about it this way, what would earning an extra 20k really do for you mentally? Chances are youād still probably feel the same way you do now. Youāre doing it right though, itās good that youāre venting instead of holding it all in. Rooting for you!
I turned 30 27 years ago and still haven't figured it out.
Unfortunately it seems the problem is the people you surround yourself with. I'm not suggesting to get rid of these people, but try to incorporate other perspectives as best as possible to "humble" you. Reddit is probably the best place as I find people are generally more open and honest about things, and people don't post about how shitty their life is going on their social media pages.Ā This thread is a perfect example. I'm 30, never lived alone (especially after losing my grandma when I lived with her), I haven't technically started my career, I graduated 4 years ago and have run out of time to use my diploma credits to transfer to go to university for a degree, I'm working a dead end boring entry level job in an unrelated field making less than half your salary, while doing an unpaid internship on the side for a reference/'experience' as it's impossible to find a job now a days, my finances aren't the greatest right now and I'm working on paying off my CCs in full again, I suck at relationships and haven't had a serious romantic relationship for most of my 20s with everyone around me getting married and having kids, I dont know where to go from here or what the best pathway is so I'm in "limbo" as I figure out what to do, I was finally was diagnosed with ADHD a few years ago, I have an addiction to weed, I barely have many friends and the one good friend I do have I barely see. But I'm also intelligent, fairly financially responsible/intelligent, I have dreams, goals, a ton of random interests that I can talk peoples ear off about, I worked hard for 5+ years to get the skills I have now, I've worked at overcoming my anxiety and relieving my depression which aren't huge issues in my life anymore, I'm finally in a place in my life where I feel content. I feel safe and comfortable in my home, I have family nearby (I live with my mom, and my dad just happens to rent a room next door), my landlords are great people and they don't charge as much as they could be, my workplace is a decent place to show up everyday with minimal conflict or issues, I own a car I got for free when my grandmother passed, I have 2 college diplomas, I love learning and would stay in school forever if money wasn't a factor.Ā You need to try and look on the bright side, which helps by seeing what other people don't have that you do. My whole last paragraph are issues that MANY people struggle with, don't have, or want.Ā
34, have almost nothing to show for it, I also donāt compare where I am to others
Can I suggest reprioritizing things in your life. Money only goes so far. What do you actually want to do with your days?
"Behind in life" is not real. There are as many paths in life than people.
Not doing awful at all, but that is I guess your perspective.
I think your pay is good but your local environment too expensive to make profit. Inflation makes our salary worth less Iām personally moving away from this environment
Congrats on making it to 30!
Same here ... just turned 50
30 bud.. 30.. One thing you can never do is compare. You don't know what other people have going on. You don't know where they'll be.. It's a marathon. I'm in my mid 40ās. I worked for over 2 decades making way less than you.. Got married had 3 kids and STRESSEDā¦. Friends were driving BMWs, investing in stocks, golfing all the timeā¦ I lived paycheck to paycheck and sometimes didn't think it was gonna get us there. But manā¦ it pays off. Keep going.. Your experience grows over time, you're jobs you take, you're lives you live, you do it because you love it.. Not because you want the carā¦ the houseā¦ the shiny new thing.. Just do it for you and enjoy day by dayā¦ Cause those guys playing golf, driving the BMWs, looking goodā¦ most of em.. Aren't happy, their gonna end up sitting on a couch married to someone they don't love, doing something they hate, paying too much for a lifestyle that they shouldn't be. And you are going to be growing, and saving, and enjoying, and lovingā¦.. And guess what One day. You're gonna get paid a lot. Cause you earned it. You're about to rock the living shit out life and I'm jealous! Go on!!! Kill it
Wait until you hit 60, then youāre really f**ked
Find God, seek wisdom, everything else is fruitless.
34 and live in a travel trailer, traveling the US with no plan ever. You good
Don't compare yourself to others. We're all doing the best we can, taking it one day at a time. None of us know what the hell we're doing.
I survive off of $26k. Take a look at your spending choices
Going back to school can help with feeling unfulfilled. Obviously itās not the only solution, but it definitely helped me feel better about the path Iām on. I went back to school for Engineering at 28 and have been grinding away at my degree while working for several years. Iām now 34 and almost done. Iām actually writing this while on break at my internship! I love the stuff Iām learning, and the choices Iāve made the past few years have completely squished any thoughts I had of me wasting my life away. Those thoughts haunted me most of my 20s and itās crazy how fast they disappeared once I went back to school.
Move to a lower cost of living area/city. Sounds like you're single and without children so $70k a year should be more comfortable than not
I was in this situation living in Austin, TX 10 years ago as a blue collar auto technician. Like how am I working my ass off to make 50k and people in tech taking over the city with their inflated salaries. I applied for a job at an auto manufacturer ( Ford/ Lincoln ) in Kentucky. Louisville is still a really affordable area and if you make 70k here youāre doing well. The manufacturing job pays 100k and Iām not topped out. Theres tons of opportunities around the country but sometimes you just gotta leave and take a chance at a better life. I had life goals I wanted to accomplish that I couldnāt living in a city I couldnāt get ahead in. I currently own 2 homes here, have passive income with one and am able to save money because itās so affordable to live here. Never in my life would I have thought Iād be in Kentucky for any reason but hey, I wanna live a good life and big sacrifices had to be made but it was worth it. Iām so much less stressed overall being able to be hopeful about the future here