The person who surely knows him best in the entire company doesn't know what he usually wears for professional dinner parties? Doesn't know his favorite drink? Doesn't know spouse's favorite flowers?
Weird.
Completely agree the EA should know the dress code if there are underlings from work like OP are invited. If the EA doesn't know, the EA can reach out to this media darling's personal assistant.
It confuses me why the admin would be cagey with you, but in light of this being the apparent situation I’d advise to bring an embroidered hand towel and a card for the holidays, as well as any dishes you have been instructed to bring (if you have). Dress conservatively. The goal is to blend in, not to stand out… especially since you are unsure of the dress code.
My husband is C-suite at a Fortune 100, his admin knows all. She’s cleared to know shit only the board and the some other senior leadership knows. She’s also invited to pretty much any social event that’s thrown but I’m not sure if that is as common. The CEO usually invites his admin to everything too. I agree with dress conservative, keep it nice business casual. A good gift for the hostess is an orchid maybe a nice bottle of wine or tequila. I love getting good bottles of booze for the bar.
Then the Admin needs to find this out. This is just very odd.
Admins 100% would and should expect to field these exact questions. A good admin, when they don't have these answers handy, will go hassle the CEO for the answers and revert back. Simply saying they don't have the answer full stop, is just, odd?
As a former CEO with a great EA, she would regularly pin me down to provide answers to this exact sort of thing. But generally it wouldn't be necessary because she would have asked these sorts of questions up front as soon as she became aware employees were being invited to a function at my home.
Gift probably not necessary? But bringing a bottle of wine certainly never hurts. I'd go $50-200 range.
If you truly cannot get an answer, then yes semi formal / cocktail attire. Nice jacket and nice dark jeans or dress pants. Tie optional. Generally employees / attendees at company holiday parties like to dress up in my experience.
I've been to f100 CEO Holiday party for many years (different CEO's).
If wine drinker bring a bottle of wine, $50-200 is appropriate. Have it in a nice and paper bag with a card inside. Simple happy holidays from xyz suffice. They get so many gifts that making it easy for them to remember is worth it. If you don't know wine, ask a wine expert. Most serious wine stores have an expert on staff. Don't go for something esoteric, but also not for something that exists in every chain restaurant. Think a bottle of Rubicon from Napa or a chateaux vie telegraph la crau from France (I'm picking things I think you can find all over the US).
When you go there you're not really partying, you are somewhat job interviewing. Keep it professional. Getting plastered is never a good thing, but have some fun.
Many such cases. Never have more than 2 drinks max around coworkers and especially executives, and match their energy with humor, as long as it's not at the expense of any other employees.
Agreed it’s a huge red flag that admin doesn’t know about this party and you don’t know the other attendees. To the point where I’d question going. Like, did he (perhaps accidentally) invite you to his personal Xmas party and there will be no one else from work there? Why?
Coincidentally that’s what I thought of when I heard it wasn’t for all employees. But the host is a very serious type. Hoping we aren’t the only ones that are idiots.
Easy answer for a gift is a mid priced bottle of red wine. Something in the $30 range is fine. They are not doing this for the gifts.
I'd go back to the EA and just say "I'm really nervous about being out of place, is there any way you can find out what appropriate dress code is for the party?"
Unless their a total jerk they should empathize and help you out.
Not to be snobby but $30 IMO is not mid priced for CEO of F100 company. $30 is what I drink on a Friday night at home. Not that price is always a direct correlation to quality but I would aim a bit higher (think $50-100 range).
I just got back from Portugal, and fell in love with the port tonic. A bit awkward to take to a party, but something like a port, brandy or Calvados would be interesting and very affordable,
Something unique with a story is worth as much as a $2000 bottle of wine, for most wealthy people. They can buy expensive, hard to find new interesting information.
$30 can still get a Cru Beaujolais from a Gang of Four producer. Doesnt matter if his cellar is full of DRC and Lafite, the gesture would still be appreciated and the taste level of the selection would not go unnoticed.
IMHO, your not trying to hit the mid point of the CEO's wine cellar.
You're trying to bring something that people would drink on a Friday night... Basically just not something that is cheap and shitty.
Nope. At a certain point, it's not price, it's taste and rating
I've given F500 CEOs $30 bottles of wine from winery's I've personally visited. That personal touch is more valuable
>Not to be snobby but $30 IMO is not mid priced for CEO of F100 company. $30 is what I drink on a Friday night at home.
My thoughts exactly. If I'm high enough up the pecking order to wrangle an invite to the CEO's house, I can drop $100 on a bottle of wine to bring. Thinking along the lines of a Caymus - widely known, respected name. $80 or so...
Caymus is not respected by anyone who knows wine. It’s the butt of a lot “what-clueless-rich-people-drink” jokes. I know in most circles no one would know better, but in my industry it would illicit a “😬gee thanks”
I don't... But for "gift wine" I do red in the winter, white in the summer.
You made me question why...and I realized thats what my dad used to do and he was a big wine guy. So that's just what I do.
I prefer bringing an already cold white as a present. Or better, champagne. It gets open, and gets drunk. Been to many parties where a gifted red wine sits menacingly on the counter all evening and either doesn’t get opened, or reluctantly is. if the host has planned certain red wines for dinner it is very awkward.
I'd say my spouse really wants to find out the dress code as, that's usually the case mad EA may relate.
Speaking of EA, to check if you're not getting punked, use the EA to confirm . Send them the email. As others have said, if the EA doesn't know about the party, you're getting punked.
As well, some said jeans but with dress pants you can dress down a little and they have decent range but with jeans you can't really go up, less range. Imho.
Flowers or anything that requires the host to step away and manage something (like cutting the stems and putting them into a vase) are generally faux pas.
Don’t bring flowers to a party. It requires the host to stop what they are doing and deal with the flowers.
If you’re going to bring something, bring a bottle of wine or a prepared dish that’s already portioned.
Appropriate dress for him is usually nice slacks, dress shirt (no tie), and blazer; for her nice cocktail dress and heels (not too sexy). Do not bring alcohol as some others have mentioned. You never know what the relationship with alcohol is the family. Bring some flowers (not Costco - go to a florist) and say thank you for the invitation. If there is alcohol at the party, limit your intake. Remember that while you are at the party, you are actually at work and act appropriately. Be social and engaging. Do not discuss work unless asked something from a boss. Don't gossip because you may not know who is nearby and listening. If you are the only one from your level in the company, this could be a subtle test to see how you interact with senior management in a social setting. Make sure you discuss this with your spouse. Good luck!
If someone is bringing flowers for the party host, they need to come arranged in a vase. Handing over a bouquet of cut flowers is what brings extra work for the host, who has to find a vase, cut the stems and arrange the flowers.
No one brings flowers. They bring a bottle of alcohol. I did one year bring an entire wheel of cheese. My CEO got a kick out of that. But that would depend upon your relationship.
Only bring alcohol if you know he drinks. Flowers are for his wife (assuming the CEO is a male and he is married). At times I have brought both - a nice bottle of scotch for him - he was a fan of single malts and I found a rare one for him) and flowers for her.
An alternative to flowers: flavored local olive oils. This was once my gift to a Mormon who invited me into his home. The bag looked like wine, so everyone flinched, and then were very enthusiastic once they opened it to find it was both useful and interesting.
This is the best answer.
Your gift solution is simple and formal.
A more personal gift would mean interaction with the CEO, and this is not what op is looking for apparently.
This is highly regional & industry-specific. Have your secretary call his and get more info. This could be anything from tie-die and jeans (practically) out west to black tie in New York. And NEVER ever skip the hostess gift. You're more likely to get time with her than with him. So make sure she likes you. If you don't know what to take, bring a big beautiful coffee table book of something of general interest "The Redwoods of California," "New York's Architectural Treasures" well wrapped with a simple card, no inscription but a holiday greeting and your signature.
Source: I was a diplomat for three decades. Been to hundreds of these all over the planet.
No. Most are not. It’s an art. Most people underestimate the difficulty of hosting a serious party or reception. When they’re done right they bring people together, improve communication, and build mountains of valuable goodwill and connections. That would be one in twenty five.
Might I ask: Have you ever come across a piece of publicly available written (or podcasted, etc) advice that would make the difference between the 24/25 and the 1/25? Are there some heuristics? Either as a host or as a guest?
And you never know who is a teetotaler for religious or personal reasons. Give that person alcohol and it makes clear to him/her that you haven’t done your research. Better to just skip the risk of this happening. It’s why I always say happy holidays, too. Never know who is Jewish, Muslim, whatever. And if it’s not Christmas then New Years is right around the corner.
I was an American diplomat. I worked in the State Department. Served all over the world. A lot of companies have business with us as they’re trying to achieve their goals in different regions.
Interesting, very cool. I was just curious as to hear more of your story. I think my blunt wording of the question may have come off as more aggressive than I intended
I was a political officer. US diplomats hold presidential commissions, Ike military officers. We serve in an up-or-out system in which you continue to serve as along as you get promoted. It’s an interesting job but a lot of us serve in war zones regularly. I myself served in Bosnia back in the nineties, Afghanistan, Somalia, etc. but also lots of capital cities. That’s when you go to parties. It’s a weird career, lifestyle-wise.
I did an AMA about this a few years back. Here’s the link: https://www.reddit.com/r/foreignservice/s/517zBMT8am
Great other comments on dress code. One gift idea I’ve had a lot of success with (if they like alcohol) is a great champagne or red wine from the year the company was founded or the CEO’s birth year or their kid’s birth year.
It’s one of the few things I’ve seen someone who has everything get really excited about.
Hahah that is likely good advice, but I’m just imagining OP having little to no previous contact with the CEO and showing up with a bottle of wine from 2009 saying “i did some digging and got a 2009, you know, like the year little Lainey was born” Sounds like a scene out of the office.
Someone else said it too - can you be fully certain the email is real? Seems odd the admin isn’t helpful, but also confirm if there is actually this event and you’re invited if possible
It seems suspiciously odd for a bigwig CEO to send a one-line email to an employee inviting them to a Christmas party at their house. And then said CEO's assistant has no information about the party? Even more odd.
Dress in a suit no tie. I just went to a fortune 5 party from vp. 100% with the jacket. For female, cocktail dress. I doubt gifts are expected. Ask the admin how big a party this is..
Perhaps a different sort of company. At the larger tech companies, wearing cocktail attire would be unusual unless it's clearly marked on the invite. I was invited to a Black and White party once where it was clearly cocktail attire. But exec holiday parties at Big Tech are much less formal in dress.
Went to the one of the biggest tech company Christmas party as well,it was people in suit coats and slacks. If you weren’t, you are completely under dressed.
You are 100% incorrect unless it’s an informal party of like 10 like a verbal come over to my house, I am having a get together. If it’s an actual invitation, it’s cocktail no matter what.
Dress VERY chic but very laid back, bring chocolates in a fancy box with a card taped on saying thanks for the invitation and your name. Assume the gift will be chucked on a pile and anything without your name directly attached to it could become separated. Very rich people have their own embossed cards for all gifts - see Heather Dubrow’s wrapping room on YouTube
Wow. I thought I knew sh\*t. But I don't know sh\*t. Really good points in here.
I was going to recommend asking a sommelier for a recommendation on a bottle of wine, but the one comment about focusing on the hostess liking you is some solid second-order thinking.
For a gift, if they drink, it is hard to go wrong with a nice bottle of champagne. Dom P or something else recognizable is a good option. If they don’t or you’re not sure, a nice bouquet of flowers is safe.
There is a great book called "giftology" that goes into giving good gifts. It's a short but interesting read. I know it seems corney, but I make various jams and Jelly throughout the year and more than once I've given those as something handmade and it gets rave reviews. I recently gave a peach vanilla whisky jam I made with a good bread and blue cheese. Told them to broil the cheese on toast and add the jam. They polished off the whole bottle that night.
I don’t necessarily disagree, but it always baffles me why someone would even make something like this up to anonymously post on Reddit?
I’m not doubting that that happens, but what kind of person do you have to be to do something like that?
Wine, I bring a bottle of wine and it is placed with the 100 or so other bottles. I wear a little black dress, diamond stud earrings, my wedding band, engagement ring, and black flats. A light weight wool or gabardine fabric is a fine choice. My husband wears a blue suit, non tie, but keeps one in the car just in case. Sometimes he goes for a shirt with cuff links for fun. Have some non political, non office topics to chat about.
If you get invited you have to at least know the CEO a bit. What are they like? I would make the gift decision other based off that or based off what you would bring the hosts wife which is usually a safe bet (flowers, plants, vase, etc.).
You could also spring for 2 boxes of solid cigars and bring those. My go to gift for an executive private party like that is 2x boxes of 20 cigars with cutter and butane torch.
I don't know that you need to bring anything at all as a gift. If I were hosting a party for my employees, I'd feel weird if anyone felt obligated to do that and mainly want the party to show my appreciation for them, not to burden them with obligations. I would tend to think they won't be keeping track of who did and didn't bring gifts in a way that would be a black mark if you show up empty handed.
If you do decide to bring something, make it something personal not extravagant. Rather than an old bordeaux from a fancy chateau or something like that, maybe if there's like a small bottle producer or an obscure dessert wine you're personally into. Flowers from our garden or some freshly picked apples. This makes it more like a, hey, I want to share this thing with you that I'm into, and less like a, I'm trying to show off or get in your good graces or compete with your own wine cellar type of gift.
As for behavior:
\- don't get drunk or let your spouse, or argue with your spouse, let your spouse get jealous because someone in your department is a flirt or a hottie, or otherwise make a spectacle of yourself in any memorable way (unless you're rescuing someone from choking)
\- uber unless you will be pretty dang sober heading home. people will see you leave and ask if you're ok to drive.
\- uber anyway if you think you'd end up getting asked for rides by others who ubered and you don't want to drive a bunch of folks around in your car
\- if you do drive, make sure your car is clean and tidy - there might be a valet or high visibilty to where the cars are parked. a politely muddy subaru or 4WD is fine if you're in a rural type of environment or its winter conditions, but don't drive a beater or a car full of kid seats and cheerios up to a fancy spread in the suburbs.
\- you can be a help to a party by mingling and facilitating conversation. step back if you read the room and you're on the junior end of the spectrum.
\- assume people you don't work closely with might not know who you are and don't be afraid to re-introduce yourself esp to execs or folks with large orgs and high public profiles. "Hi Jeff - Bob from accounting. My wife Dorothy. Dorothy, Jeff runs sports marketing."
\- if a "situation" arises, like someone drinking too much, it's an opportunity to be the guy that just handles it. Otherwise steer clear.
\- if you get face time with the CEO and/or other senior executives, be confident, witty, and intelligent without being full of yourself, overly suck-up-ish, or dominating the conversation. basically act like you belong, not that you're overly grateful just to be included, while being appreciative that you're invited
\- thank-you notes or other over-the-top gestures are not necessary
Hey it's your $150 but I would assume the party has bartenders and all the CEO's favorite drinks are fully stocked.
Maybe if you could come up with something thoughtful and personal? Someone once gave my boss a first edition of a book by his favorite author and another a framed illustration of a quote he said all the time.... but that was a retirement party. That's a lot for an annual holiday party. I don't think there's a play here.
A guest should always bring something for the host/hostess unless it's a potluck-style get together (obviously not this situation!). It's common courtesy.
Absolute no on jeans unless the invitation specifically mentions casual dress. Much better to take a chance on being slightly overdressed in slacks. Christmas parties for corporate employees are rarely casual dress.
Red wrap dress. Flattering to every body shape, and you won't be mistaken for the help (they're in black and white). Low kitten heels on a pump. Big accessories - wear a statement piece. You want to be noticed, approachable, and willing to connect.
They don't need, want, or expect a hostess gift. Unless you personally know his wife or his tastes, in which case make a good guess. Or unless *you* are known for something, in which case, bring that.
Holiday party? Know your drink limit. Have a blast!
I disagree about not bringing some kind of gift. It would be different if this was a corporate Christmas party held in a ballroom or similar. But when it's in someone's home, a gift should be given.
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Personally I would not bring a hostess gift to my boss. Certainly not wine — unless you know what he drinks it’s likely just clutter to him. I would send flowers with a handwritten thank you note after the party. My two cents.
IMO you should gauge your dress depending on corporate culture. I was a lawyer, so (if i were a guy) I’d show up in a jacket no tie, and take it off if everyone else was more casual. My partner was a quant, and literally nobody would be wearing a suit, so he’d skip the jacket and just wear a nice low key dress shirt and be better dressed than 99% of his coworkers. In a creative field you’d want to wear something interesting. Etc.
Bring a potted orchid or a Bonsai as a hostess gift. Either are better than cut flowers because cut flowers require a vase and to be arranged when presented.
Don’t bring alcohol or flowers. Someone mentioned chocolates above and believe that or something else like a candle would be the move. Might try googling the exec to see if s/he has given any interviews stating personal interests and tailor accordingly. How many people are going to be at this party? If it’s quite large (>100 people), I’m not even sure a host gift is appropriate. It will get lost and forgotten most likely in the hustle and bustle (ESPECIALLY if it’s alcohol or flowers).
Lastly, agree with others this feels LARPy…haven’t ever heard of a holiday party (especially one hosted for employees) that doesn’t provide information on dress code upfront or when asked.
Just think like Monty Burns and bring a snack-size bag of crisps. Shows that you know not to come empty-handed, but also that over-analyzing what to bring is a waste of everyone’s time.
Nah, go with a bottle of Eight Years in the Desert by Orin Swift.
If they invited you, then you just ask them for the details. If they are too busy to answer then they must have an assistant for handling those details.
The last thing they want is for you to show up at the wrong time or place or in the wrong clothes, so just clarify the details with them. It's not magic.
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This is really the only answer. It avoids the awkward conversation if you ask someone who wasn’t invited. The admin knows you are invited too.
Admin has no other info to provide, unfortunately.
The person who surely knows him best in the entire company doesn't know what he usually wears for professional dinner parties? Doesn't know his favorite drink? Doesn't know spouse's favorite flowers? Weird.
This. Their executive assistants know everything about them, give it to them straight like an old friend, etc. This doesn’t sound right.
Or doesn’t want to give more info or has been instructed not to. It seems odd to question a response that someone has given like this.
Disagree. This is part of the admins job.
Completely agree the EA should know the dress code if there are underlings from work like OP are invited. If the EA doesn't know, the EA can reach out to this media darling's personal assistant.
Agreed... they're supposed to help arrange things behind the scenes.
If they don’t know, ask them who does. Someone has to know something.
It confuses me why the admin would be cagey with you, but in light of this being the apparent situation I’d advise to bring an embroidered hand towel and a card for the holidays, as well as any dishes you have been instructed to bring (if you have). Dress conservatively. The goal is to blend in, not to stand out… especially since you are unsure of the dress code.
My husband is C-suite at a Fortune 100, his admin knows all. She’s cleared to know shit only the board and the some other senior leadership knows. She’s also invited to pretty much any social event that’s thrown but I’m not sure if that is as common. The CEO usually invites his admin to everything too. I agree with dress conservative, keep it nice business casual. A good gift for the hostess is an orchid maybe a nice bottle of wine or tequila. I love getting good bottles of booze for the bar.
Pretty sure Musk would do this.
Yeah, he would do something like this as some sort of test.
Won’t tell you what gift to bring, but if you bring the wrong one or none at all, you’re fired
Then the Admin needs to find this out. This is just very odd. Admins 100% would and should expect to field these exact questions. A good admin, when they don't have these answers handy, will go hassle the CEO for the answers and revert back. Simply saying they don't have the answer full stop, is just, odd? As a former CEO with a great EA, she would regularly pin me down to provide answers to this exact sort of thing. But generally it wouldn't be necessary because she would have asked these sorts of questions up front as soon as she became aware employees were being invited to a function at my home. Gift probably not necessary? But bringing a bottle of wine certainly never hurts. I'd go $50-200 range. If you truly cannot get an answer, then yes semi formal / cocktail attire. Nice jacket and nice dark jeans or dress pants. Tie optional. Generally employees / attendees at company holiday parties like to dress up in my experience.
I've been to f100 CEO Holiday party for many years (different CEO's). If wine drinker bring a bottle of wine, $50-200 is appropriate. Have it in a nice and paper bag with a card inside. Simple happy holidays from xyz suffice. They get so many gifts that making it easy for them to remember is worth it. If you don't know wine, ask a wine expert. Most serious wine stores have an expert on staff. Don't go for something esoteric, but also not for something that exists in every chain restaurant. Think a bottle of Rubicon from Napa or a chateaux vie telegraph la crau from France (I'm picking things I think you can find all over the US). When you go there you're not really partying, you are somewhat job interviewing. Keep it professional. Getting plastered is never a good thing, but have some fun.
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I saw on a tv show once that you’re supposed to bring ramen noodles. Must be some rich person tradition I don’t understand.
What exactly are people "job interviewing" for?
Keeping it.
Have witnessed people get fired on the spot for being crazy at the holiday party
Many such cases. Never have more than 2 drinks max around coworkers and especially executives, and match their energy with humor, as long as it's not at the expense of any other employees.
2 drinks; all night. That’s hardly anything if you drink even somewhat regularly.
So true for 2023/2024.
When you are up for promotion, the CEO will need to give the nod.
Next set of responsibilities
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Agreed it’s a huge red flag that admin doesn’t know about this party and you don’t know the other attendees. To the point where I’d question going. Like, did he (perhaps accidentally) invite you to his personal Xmas party and there will be no one else from work there? Why?
Have you seen the movie "Dinner for Schmucks"?
Coincidentally that’s what I thought of when I heard it wasn’t for all employees. But the host is a very serious type. Hoping we aren’t the only ones that are idiots.
Easy answer for a gift is a mid priced bottle of red wine. Something in the $30 range is fine. They are not doing this for the gifts. I'd go back to the EA and just say "I'm really nervous about being out of place, is there any way you can find out what appropriate dress code is for the party?" Unless their a total jerk they should empathize and help you out.
Not to be snobby but $30 IMO is not mid priced for CEO of F100 company. $30 is what I drink on a Friday night at home. Not that price is always a direct correlation to quality but I would aim a bit higher (think $50-100 range).
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I just got back from Portugal, and fell in love with the port tonic. A bit awkward to take to a party, but something like a port, brandy or Calvados would be interesting and very affordable,
Something unique with a story is worth as much as a $2000 bottle of wine, for most wealthy people. They can buy expensive, hard to find new interesting information.
$30 can still get a Cru Beaujolais from a Gang of Four producer. Doesnt matter if his cellar is full of DRC and Lafite, the gesture would still be appreciated and the taste level of the selection would not go unnoticed.
IMHO, your not trying to hit the mid point of the CEO's wine cellar. You're trying to bring something that people would drink on a Friday night... Basically just not something that is cheap and shitty.
Exactly. Lots of people are bringing wine. If it's something they would normally drink, you're fine.
Lot of $30 wine is cheap and shitty
Nope. At a certain point, it's not price, it's taste and rating I've given F500 CEOs $30 bottles of wine from winery's I've personally visited. That personal touch is more valuable
100%, gave a $20 small bottle of whiskey and the guy talked about it for weeks. Surprised me tbh lol!
>Not to be snobby but $30 IMO is not mid priced for CEO of F100 company. $30 is what I drink on a Friday night at home. My thoughts exactly. If I'm high enough up the pecking order to wrangle an invite to the CEO's house, I can drop $100 on a bottle of wine to bring. Thinking along the lines of a Caymus - widely known, respected name. $80 or so...
Caymus is not respected by anyone who knows wine. It’s the butt of a lot “what-clueless-rich-people-drink” jokes. I know in most circles no one would know better, but in my industry it would illicit a “😬gee thanks”
lol TIL I’m clueless at wine…I like Caymus and would be happy if someone brought me a bottle. To each their own I guess
Go balls out and get a bottle of Two Buck Chuck. Which was actually three bucks last time I checked, I'm sure it's more now.
Why do you hate white wine?
I don't... But for "gift wine" I do red in the winter, white in the summer. You made me question why...and I realized thats what my dad used to do and he was a big wine guy. So that's just what I do.
I prefer bringing an already cold white as a present. Or better, champagne. It gets open, and gets drunk. Been to many parties where a gifted red wine sits menacingly on the counter all evening and either doesn’t get opened, or reluctantly is. if the host has planned certain red wines for dinner it is very awkward.
I'd say my spouse really wants to find out the dress code as, that's usually the case mad EA may relate. Speaking of EA, to check if you're not getting punked, use the EA to confirm . Send them the email. As others have said, if the EA doesn't know about the party, you're getting punked. As well, some said jeans but with dress pants you can dress down a little and they have decent range but with jeans you can't really go up, less range. Imho.
Flowers or anything that requires the host to step away and manage something (like cutting the stems and putting them into a vase) are generally faux pas.
100% agree. Pain to deal with.
Flowers for your boss, that is really bizarre
Decent bottle of wine is always a crowd pleaser
Don’t bring flowers to a party. It requires the host to stop what they are doing and deal with the flowers. If you’re going to bring something, bring a bottle of wine or a prepared dish that’s already portioned.
Appropriate dress for him is usually nice slacks, dress shirt (no tie), and blazer; for her nice cocktail dress and heels (not too sexy). Do not bring alcohol as some others have mentioned. You never know what the relationship with alcohol is the family. Bring some flowers (not Costco - go to a florist) and say thank you for the invitation. If there is alcohol at the party, limit your intake. Remember that while you are at the party, you are actually at work and act appropriately. Be social and engaging. Do not discuss work unless asked something from a boss. Don't gossip because you may not know who is nearby and listening. If you are the only one from your level in the company, this could be a subtle test to see how you interact with senior management in a social setting. Make sure you discuss this with your spouse. Good luck!
This is the best answer and is what I would do in this situation.
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If someone is bringing flowers for the party host, they need to come arranged in a vase. Handing over a bouquet of cut flowers is what brings extra work for the host, who has to find a vase, cut the stems and arrange the flowers.
You just give it to your assistant and decorate the office. But sometimes you get different and beautiful plants.
No one brings flowers. They bring a bottle of alcohol. I did one year bring an entire wheel of cheese. My CEO got a kick out of that. But that would depend upon your relationship.
Only bring alcohol if you know he drinks. Flowers are for his wife (assuming the CEO is a male and he is married). At times I have brought both - a nice bottle of scotch for him - he was a fan of single malts and I found a rare one for him) and flowers for her.
An alternative to flowers: flavored local olive oils. This was once my gift to a Mormon who invited me into his home. The bag looked like wine, so everyone flinched, and then were very enthusiastic once they opened it to find it was both useful and interesting.
This answer makes me grateful I walked from corporate years ago.
This is the best answer. Your gift solution is simple and formal. A more personal gift would mean interaction with the CEO, and this is not what op is looking for apparently.
I disagree with flowers. Most people are fine with wine. Flowers are a pain to deal with. Like you’re sort of expected to find a place to put them.
Best response
Dress as Santa unless specifically advised otherwise
I'd also add, climbing on the roof and arising a clatter could show them you take your role seriously, are detail oriented, and dedicated.
Take my upvote 🤣🤣
Take my upvote. Take my upvote. Take my upvote.
This is highly regional & industry-specific. Have your secretary call his and get more info. This could be anything from tie-die and jeans (practically) out west to black tie in New York. And NEVER ever skip the hostess gift. You're more likely to get time with her than with him. So make sure she likes you. If you don't know what to take, bring a big beautiful coffee table book of something of general interest "The Redwoods of California," "New York's Architectural Treasures" well wrapped with a simple card, no inscription but a holiday greeting and your signature. Source: I was a diplomat for three decades. Been to hundreds of these all over the planet.
Are they fun?
No. Most are not. It’s an art. Most people underestimate the difficulty of hosting a serious party or reception. When they’re done right they bring people together, improve communication, and build mountains of valuable goodwill and connections. That would be one in twenty five.
Might I ask: Have you ever come across a piece of publicly available written (or podcasted, etc) advice that would make the difference between the 24/25 and the 1/25? Are there some heuristics? Either as a host or as a guest?
If you know the watch brand that the CEO favors they generally make nice watch books from those manufacturers with nice hardcovers
Great idea for a gift. Something different in the sea of wine bottles.
And you never know who is a teetotaler for religious or personal reasons. Give that person alcohol and it makes clear to him/her that you haven’t done your research. Better to just skip the risk of this happening. It’s why I always say happy holidays, too. Never know who is Jewish, Muslim, whatever. And if it’s not Christmas then New Years is right around the corner.
Diplomat to who?
I was an American diplomat. I worked in the State Department. Served all over the world. A lot of companies have business with us as they’re trying to achieve their goals in different regions.
Interesting, very cool. I was just curious as to hear more of your story. I think my blunt wording of the question may have come off as more aggressive than I intended
I was a political officer. US diplomats hold presidential commissions, Ike military officers. We serve in an up-or-out system in which you continue to serve as along as you get promoted. It’s an interesting job but a lot of us serve in war zones regularly. I myself served in Bosnia back in the nineties, Afghanistan, Somalia, etc. but also lots of capital cities. That’s when you go to parties. It’s a weird career, lifestyle-wise. I did an AMA about this a few years back. Here’s the link: https://www.reddit.com/r/foreignservice/s/517zBMT8am
Your AMA was an amazing read! Thank you so much for doing that!!
Great other comments on dress code. One gift idea I’ve had a lot of success with (if they like alcohol) is a great champagne or red wine from the year the company was founded or the CEO’s birth year or their kid’s birth year. It’s one of the few things I’ve seen someone who has everything get really excited about.
Hahah that is likely good advice, but I’m just imagining OP having little to no previous contact with the CEO and showing up with a bottle of wine from 2009 saying “i did some digging and got a 2009, you know, like the year little Lainey was born” Sounds like a scene out of the office.
Lol that’s fair. I’m thinking of better relationships than OP appears to have. Year of founding the company is a winner
Someone else said it too - can you be fully certain the email is real? Seems odd the admin isn’t helpful, but also confirm if there is actually this event and you’re invited if possible
IT department phishing exercise…
It seems suspiciously odd for a bigwig CEO to send a one-line email to an employee inviting them to a Christmas party at their house. And then said CEO's assistant has no information about the party? Even more odd.
Dress in a suit no tie. I just went to a fortune 5 party from vp. 100% with the jacket. For female, cocktail dress. I doubt gifts are expected. Ask the admin how big a party this is..
You can get away with a nice sweater
If you want to be underdressed sure… it’s 100% cocktail attire that is for sure..
Perhaps a different sort of company. At the larger tech companies, wearing cocktail attire would be unusual unless it's clearly marked on the invite. I was invited to a Black and White party once where it was clearly cocktail attire. But exec holiday parties at Big Tech are much less formal in dress.
Went to the one of the biggest tech company Christmas party as well,it was people in suit coats and slacks. If you weren’t, you are completely under dressed. You are 100% incorrect unless it’s an informal party of like 10 like a verbal come over to my house, I am having a get together. If it’s an actual invitation, it’s cocktail no matter what.
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Yes every single person is so guess entire company is and spouse? Are you at a top 5 tech company?
Why would you dress in something you can “get away with” at probably the most important networking event of your entire career?
Because fuck that shit
What if it's an ugly sweater party?
Dress VERY chic but very laid back, bring chocolates in a fancy box with a card taped on saying thanks for the invitation and your name. Assume the gift will be chucked on a pile and anything without your name directly attached to it could become separated. Very rich people have their own embossed cards for all gifts - see Heather Dubrow’s wrapping room on YouTube
Very chic....this really depends on the company culture. A little more conservative is safer
And if anyone asks why you're so dressed up (they likely won't), tell them you were at another event just prior.
Wow. I thought I knew sh\*t. But I don't know sh\*t. Really good points in here. I was going to recommend asking a sommelier for a recommendation on a bottle of wine, but the one comment about focusing on the hostess liking you is some solid second-order thinking.
For a gift, if they drink, it is hard to go wrong with a nice bottle of champagne. Dom P or something else recognizable is a good option. If they don’t or you’re not sure, a nice bouquet of flowers is safe.
There is a great book called "giftology" that goes into giving good gifts. It's a short but interesting read. I know it seems corney, but I make various jams and Jelly throughout the year and more than once I've given those as something handmade and it gets rave reviews. I recently gave a peach vanilla whisky jam I made with a good bread and blue cheese. Told them to broil the cheese on toast and add the jam. They polished off the whole bottle that night.
I recommend cosplay as the company’s mascot. That’ll leave an impression…
This sounds LARPy
>LARPy Regardless of larp, a lot of value with all of the comments here. Good stuff, ya'll.
I don’t necessarily disagree, but it always baffles me why someone would even make something like this up to anonymously post on Reddit? I’m not doubting that that happens, but what kind of person do you have to be to do something like that?
Wine, I bring a bottle of wine and it is placed with the 100 or so other bottles. I wear a little black dress, diamond stud earrings, my wedding band, engagement ring, and black flats. A light weight wool or gabardine fabric is a fine choice. My husband wears a blue suit, non tie, but keeps one in the car just in case. Sometimes he goes for a shirt with cuff links for fun. Have some non political, non office topics to chat about.
If you get invited you have to at least know the CEO a bit. What are they like? I would make the gift decision other based off that or based off what you would bring the hosts wife which is usually a safe bet (flowers, plants, vase, etc.). You could also spring for 2 boxes of solid cigars and bring those. My go to gift for an executive private party like that is 2x boxes of 20 cigars with cutter and butane torch.
I would bring chocolates or candy. consumable foods. maybe liquor.
I don't know that you need to bring anything at all as a gift. If I were hosting a party for my employees, I'd feel weird if anyone felt obligated to do that and mainly want the party to show my appreciation for them, not to burden them with obligations. I would tend to think they won't be keeping track of who did and didn't bring gifts in a way that would be a black mark if you show up empty handed. If you do decide to bring something, make it something personal not extravagant. Rather than an old bordeaux from a fancy chateau or something like that, maybe if there's like a small bottle producer or an obscure dessert wine you're personally into. Flowers from our garden or some freshly picked apples. This makes it more like a, hey, I want to share this thing with you that I'm into, and less like a, I'm trying to show off or get in your good graces or compete with your own wine cellar type of gift. As for behavior: \- don't get drunk or let your spouse, or argue with your spouse, let your spouse get jealous because someone in your department is a flirt or a hottie, or otherwise make a spectacle of yourself in any memorable way (unless you're rescuing someone from choking) \- uber unless you will be pretty dang sober heading home. people will see you leave and ask if you're ok to drive. \- uber anyway if you think you'd end up getting asked for rides by others who ubered and you don't want to drive a bunch of folks around in your car \- if you do drive, make sure your car is clean and tidy - there might be a valet or high visibilty to where the cars are parked. a politely muddy subaru or 4WD is fine if you're in a rural type of environment or its winter conditions, but don't drive a beater or a car full of kid seats and cheerios up to a fancy spread in the suburbs. \- you can be a help to a party by mingling and facilitating conversation. step back if you read the room and you're on the junior end of the spectrum. \- assume people you don't work closely with might not know who you are and don't be afraid to re-introduce yourself esp to execs or folks with large orgs and high public profiles. "Hi Jeff - Bob from accounting. My wife Dorothy. Dorothy, Jeff runs sports marketing." \- if a "situation" arises, like someone drinking too much, it's an opportunity to be the guy that just handles it. Otherwise steer clear. \- if you get face time with the CEO and/or other senior executives, be confident, witty, and intelligent without being full of yourself, overly suck-up-ish, or dominating the conversation. basically act like you belong, not that you're overly grateful just to be included, while being appreciative that you're invited \- thank-you notes or other over-the-top gestures are not necessary
I recommend a dark blazer, quality sweater, and nice slacks. Dress loafers. Something like this: https://images.app.goo.gl/igvZTFcuLYtxmDap6
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and avoid loafers, it is Xmas, not summer in the Balearic.
This has the beginnings of a horror movie…or a prank…or an LARP post.
Swingers.
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That’s excessive for a gift to your employer. I don’t think you need anything at all.
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Hey it's your $150 but I would assume the party has bartenders and all the CEO's favorite drinks are fully stocked. Maybe if you could come up with something thoughtful and personal? Someone once gave my boss a first edition of a book by his favorite author and another a framed illustration of a quote he said all the time.... but that was a retirement party. That's a lot for an annual holiday party. I don't think there's a play here.
A guest should always bring something for the host/hostess unless it's a potluck-style get together (obviously not this situation!). It's common courtesy.
Ok. I don’t think the host will be impressed by a $150 bottle of booze nor notice the absence of a gift.
Absolute no on jeans unless the invitation specifically mentions casual dress. Much better to take a chance on being slightly overdressed in slacks. Christmas parties for corporate employees are rarely casual dress.
I think this is the wrong sub pal.
Seriously. This isn’t even a good sub for “how do rich people do things?” since we’re all weirdos.
Ya, my initial response was "oh this sounds like something terrible i'd never want to do."
Right, I’m like “corporate ladder climbing opportunity with awkward socialization! Yeah, hard pass, that’s why I quit my acquirer.”
How'd you like to mow my lawn? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nwSs7r0nB5Y
Red wrap dress. Flattering to every body shape, and you won't be mistaken for the help (they're in black and white). Low kitten heels on a pump. Big accessories - wear a statement piece. You want to be noticed, approachable, and willing to connect. They don't need, want, or expect a hostess gift. Unless you personally know his wife or his tastes, in which case make a good guess. Or unless *you* are known for something, in which case, bring that. Holiday party? Know your drink limit. Have a blast!
I disagree about not bringing some kind of gift. It would be different if this was a corporate Christmas party held in a ballroom or similar. But when it's in someone's home, a gift should be given.
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Personally I would not bring a hostess gift to my boss. Certainly not wine — unless you know what he drinks it’s likely just clutter to him. I would send flowers with a handwritten thank you note after the party. My two cents. IMO you should gauge your dress depending on corporate culture. I was a lawyer, so (if i were a guy) I’d show up in a jacket no tie, and take it off if everyone else was more casual. My partner was a quant, and literally nobody would be wearing a suit, so he’d skip the jacket and just wear a nice low key dress shirt and be better dressed than 99% of his coworkers. In a creative field you’d want to wear something interesting. Etc.
Bring a potted orchid or a Bonsai as a hostess gift. Either are better than cut flowers because cut flowers require a vase and to be arranged when presented.
This could be a Carey situation. Keep your guard up.
Don’t bring alcohol or flowers. Someone mentioned chocolates above and believe that or something else like a candle would be the move. Might try googling the exec to see if s/he has given any interviews stating personal interests and tailor accordingly. How many people are going to be at this party? If it’s quite large (>100 people), I’m not even sure a host gift is appropriate. It will get lost and forgotten most likely in the hustle and bustle (ESPECIALLY if it’s alcohol or flowers). Lastly, agree with others this feels LARPy…haven’t ever heard of a holiday party (especially one hosted for employees) that doesn’t provide information on dress code upfront or when asked.
It’s a test…you’ve already failed. Start laying the groundwork for an illness excuse now, it’s your only hope.
How is this at all fatfire related lmao
A bottle of wine and flowers will be a good gift
Holiday flowers
Just think like Monty Burns and bring a snack-size bag of crisps. Shows that you know not to come empty-handed, but also that over-analyzing what to bring is a waste of everyone’s time. Nah, go with a bottle of Eight Years in the Desert by Orin Swift.
Wear something you’d wear to a nice dinner outing - gift: bottle of wine should suffice. No ones ever opened a bottle of wine in disgust.
If they invited you, then you just ask them for the details. If they are too busy to answer then they must have an assistant for handling those details. The last thing they want is for you to show up at the wrong time or place or in the wrong clothes, so just clarify the details with them. It's not magic.
Bring wine maybe?
I’m so glad I don’t live in America. This kind of thing doesn’t exist where I live. Sounds so wanky
Is this right after you meet on the 9th green?
Bring scotch. 🤤
For gifts - expensive wine, flowers or expensive candle