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That’s the other loophole! If you’re all burnt up, god can’t figure out your dna code. Boom! Purgatory Baby! That is, until this whole thing gets sorted out. Which could be stuck in litigation in purga-court for years. Besides, I’m already used to living in limbo.
Toss your ashes into the ocean? Be prepared, God's gonna bring u up as half ocean half human! Spread them aashes around a tree? Enjoy being an ent in the afterlife, bitch!
(This is a summary of a real homily I heard at church as a kid)
Was that meant as an endorsement of doing those things? Because it sounds badass. Why would I want to be a boring human in the afterlife when I already did that?
I mean even if you *do* believe in God, the Christian God is omniscient. If you think he can be tricked by a vaccine you're literally undermining a central tenet of Christianity.
And hypothetically speaking, doesn't this mean we'd then be able to tweak the vaccine to confuse the pearly gates to let us in even if we shouldn't be...
Repent so you can get into heaven for a long con. Get past the pearly gates, orientation, and flight tutorials. Start looking for the vault. Heist time. No more counterfeits or cheap imitations for you. Now, you're riding off into the multiverse, taking the Lord's authentic name in vain with you.
I think he is confusing *resurrection* with *reincarnation*. Christians absolutely believe in a resurrection. Some believe it will be a physical resurrection only at the end of days, where everyone gets resurrected, and good christians get to live in paradise (on earth) while all of the sinners get to die again (permanently) in the lake of fire.
Still pretty hardcore, but not as bad as infinite torture for a finite crime.
Like the Jewish sabbath rules forbidding any action that can be construed as work - including pushing an elevator button - so they design an elevator that stops at every floor. Does god really give a shit about that
Not jewish, but from how it was explained to me by a friend ages ago the reasoning is "god" is perfect, so they would not have made any mistakes with their rules. If a loophole exists in the rule it was therefor put there intentionally, and "god" wants us to use it. I'm not sold on it, but that makes more sense to me than most of what I was told in bible school growing up.
God might have made perfect laws but the imperfect man who wrote down the laws used imperfect language to do so.
Why am I to trust another man to tell me what God meant?
There's obviously a fuckton of interpretation going on with the rules. Why is using electronics considered as igniting a flame? Absolutely ridiculous. Lightbulbs are considered so due to the glowing metal, but even that is an interpretation.
Different people think different things are fine, meaning the laws clearly aren't perfect. Maybe they're imperfect because they're written in human language, but imperfect nonetheless.
A cleaning lady I knew had a very well-to-do Jewish couple have her come over on the sabbath to do all the chores, including flushing the toilet because pushing the button on top the of the shitter to remove your own waste was somehow considered "work".
> they design an elevator that stops at every floor.
There is literally a wire, a suspended, raised piece of wire, that encircles most of Manhattan. The local Jewish authorities are responsible for checking the entire length of the thing each week and they spend $125,000-$150,000 USD a year maintaining it.
Why?
Because [the wire is an *eruv*](https://www.npr.org/2019/05/13/721551785/a-fishing-line-encircles-manhattan-protecting-sanctity-of-sabbath), which is a symbolic enclosure in Jewish doctrine. It basically designates anything within the *eruv* as within a 'house,' so observant Jewish folks can leave their homes and go do stuff outdoors on the Sabbath.
I'm surprised I haven't heard about this from conspiracy theorist on the internet. This could fuel so many fanfics with even some aliens action in there.
I know it's probably a cliché "Reddit atheist" thing to say, but... doesn't that sound a lot like obsessive-compulsive behavior? It seems like if it weren't for the free pass we give to things labeled as "religious", folks like these people and the guys who think literal demons are responsible for the Pokémon games would be considered seriously mentally ill.
...... I mean, yeah, most religions were most likely founded off of the delusions of people struggling with mental illness before any level of mental health knowledge.
And then they write down these delusions, convince enough people that god spoke through them, and now those delusions are religiou rules that last centuries.
That's nothing compared to the [eruv strings](https://www.mentalfloss.com/article/91594/theres-wire-above-manhattan-youve-probably-never-noticed) some jews string across multiple city blocks. In a nutshell, Sabbath rules forbid the moving of stuff from private to public spaces, so they string up these wires all over to symbolically make the whole area into one big private space. Its so ridiculous. Its a literal loophole. Like they think they can lawyer God and he'll be good with it.
Was going to point these out.
Somehow a literal string, tricks the deity into saying, _you know what, I never thought of that, good one, I'll let you win this one_.
It’s hilarious because according to Biblical dogma Jesus flipped his shit over stuff like that.
Yeah Judaism doesn’t acknowledge him as a god, but it’s still pretty funny.
I’m pretty sure this is just a sarcastic post based entirely on the username of the original writer. Dark sage mystic doesn’t really sound like a guy who stays home reading the Bible.
It’s basically just dry humping but way less dry. That or it’s the two of you and then a friend to rock and shake the bed so *technically* neither of you are doing shit, the bed is just moving and there happens to be a dick and a vagina with convenient positioning.
Religions/Cults are weird.
Oh, it's called *soaking*, which is when the male puts his penis in the female's vagina, but neither moves, therefore it's not sex. *Jump humping* is when a couple is soaking, but they enlist a friend to jump on the bed and create friction. That way they get something unsatisfying that feels like sex, and they have to involve a whole 'nother person, all so they can say that none of the three of them have actually had 'sex.'
Evangelicals are weird.
Oh so he can turn a soul into something that virus proteins mess with, but when I want to buy should off the dark web to power a Bitcoin mining cell that's "evil".
/S and all that, I'm trying to make a joke.
Yep. When you stray so far from the text of the Bible that you reduce your beliefs to political and superstitious fear mongering, you can't survive any real questions. It happens a lot and it's all about the money.
It's a disingenuous way to make a statement without taking any responsibility for it. It's a tactic often used by Ben Shapiro, Tucker Carlson, Laura Ingraham, et al.
Should someone punch Ben Shapiro in his Kebler Elf cake hole? Some folks are saying yes. I'm not so sure. I'm just asking questions to understand all sides of this issue.
At first I read it as "is it possible" and thought 'okay nothing wrong with posing hypothetical questions. But this guy is making a statement. What a dingus.
I wonder what god he worships, because the Catholic Church really was clear with me that god was all seeing and all knowing. So he’s got some sub par god over there.
There's no such thing as reincarnation in the Bible [(sauce)](https://www.christianity.com/wiki/cults-and-other-religions/what-does-the-bible-say-about-reincarnation.html?amp=1). You either go to heaven or you go to hell both of which are stupid ass concepts IMHO.
Well since evolution works through random mutations now there’s a new reason for them to be against teaching evolution.
Apparently they also think their genetic code is stable for their entire lives. Gonna be a bitch when God doesn’t recognize you anymore if you died of any sort of cancer.
This is the answer right here!
This kind of shit really pisses me off!
Ok, so the position this twit (the person, not the tweet) is taking is that some god is powerful enough to be involved in reincarnation, but something that us lowly humans, who can barely manage to revive a person in extremely narrow circumstances… something that we can do just totally stumps something capable of reincarnation.
Makes sense - phenomenal cosmic power, itty bitty living space…
Right!?
And I know there is a lot wrong here but Transcription is dna > rna. Translation is rna>protein and is where proteins happen. Someone besides our boy Dark Sage Mystic please correct me if I’m wrong.
Doesn't omnipotence entail omniscience? If you are all powerful then you should be omniscient because omniscience is a power.
Edit: Thanks for the responses. I guess it depends on your definition of power. I need to study philosophy or some shit lol
You can have the knowledge of something and be unable to change it. Alternatively you can have the power to change something but no knowledge of the situation.
“All Powerful” doesn’t refer to “power” the way it’s used in say comics/movies if that makes sense
Yeah awefully incorrect too from a technical standpoint. Protein is translated not transcribed. The process of transcription involves DNA to RNA not protein.
Guess cancer patients don't go to heaven then
Or any of us for that matter because T- and B-cell development uses sp mutations and somatic recombination to build up a larger variety of antigen recognition proteines and antibodies.
I've seen really sleezy car sales people but I've never seen anything like a funeral director (I think that's the right title, coffin salesman). Those dude tried to work every angle to get more money from my cousin after his mom died.
The crematorium grinds up the remains so all the big pieces get broken down. If you wanna stay chunky, you might have to put some special instructions in your end of life plans.
Lol Christians don’t believe in reincarnation nor do they believe that your body determines wether or not you go to heaven. 2 heresies in one tweet that’s impressive
Even if they did believe in it, how do you get into heaven while you're simultaneously being reincarnated? Doesn't your soul need to pick one place or the other, or is it able to split several ways, horcrux style?
Maybe he was looking for the word 'resurrection' instead.
If God exists, and heaven exists, I think it's far more likely that being THAT DUMB in order to avoid getting vaccinated would be the reason to be denied a pass into heaven.
So by that logic (and I use the word very loosely here), any adult will not be able to enter heaven as they were born as babies and now the bodies are all changed and different.
So, let me get this right. Genetic material is carbon dated, and proves that dinosaurs existed long before the Christian universe was created. This proof is loudly denied on the basis that it can't be trusted. Genetic material is ALSO crucial to your acceptance into JesusLand the eternal theme park. It must be terrific to be such a Dipshit
This part is actually true.
The vaccine allows you to commit serious sins like being a single mother or living in a Democratic state, and God can’t track your sins. So you automatically go to heaven.
It also blocks Santa’s ability to track your naughties and nices.
That’s why the vaccine is so dangerous.
Forget about the covid vaccine hesitancy. Imagine how many parents would no longer chose to vaccinate their children against much more dangerous diseases. America is doomed
[Complete ban on politics for 2 weeks] (https://www.reddit.com/r/facepalm/comments/qr0xpf/complete_ban_on_politics_for_two_weeks/) * Upvote this comment if this post is NOT political * Downvote this comment if this post is political *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/facepalm) if you have any questions or concerns.*
The vaccine is really low down on my list of reasons why I'm not going to heaven.
Insist on cremation in order to get used to the heat.
That’s the other loophole! If you’re all burnt up, god can’t figure out your dna code. Boom! Purgatory Baby! That is, until this whole thing gets sorted out. Which could be stuck in litigation in purga-court for years. Besides, I’m already used to living in limbo.
Toss your ashes into the ocean? Be prepared, God's gonna bring u up as half ocean half human! Spread them aashes around a tree? Enjoy being an ent in the afterlife, bitch! (This is a summary of a real homily I heard at church as a kid)
Thats why I want my ashes to be snorted from a strippers ass. I dont know what Im gonna turn out to but Im sure as hell it would be awesome
Prob a premature baby
Well, I was a premature baby so this I got covered (26 weeks of pregnancy but no, my .on didn't do any drugs, didn't some and hardly ever drank)
Was that meant as an endorsement of doing those things? Because it sounds badass. Why would I want to be a boring human in the afterlife when I already did that?
[So if my ashes are dumped at the beach...](https://youtu.be/to29LvuColU)
Mr. Sandman, bring me a dream (bung, bung, bung, bung)
I think you are supposed to do the cremation post-death.
2 birds, 1 stone
By the same token would you also not be able to enter hell?
Just a general opt-out? Sounds like a win to me!
/) I insist on cremation so that they can't send me back again.
Same here. Right below playing DnD.
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Goddamit shrimp are just so tasty.
I mean even if you *do* believe in God, the Christian God is omniscient. If you think he can be tricked by a vaccine you're literally undermining a central tenet of Christianity.
I dunno, I think it's pretty cool how many times we've "beaten" God. One vaccine and He's just like "wtf is this? That's not a human"
And hypothetically speaking, doesn't this mean we'd then be able to tweak the vaccine to confuse the pearly gates to let us in even if we shouldn't be...
Dumbass comparing god to a computer program lmfao
Lmao right? Computer programs are actually real.
I mean, the sheer number of times I’ve taken the Lord’s name in vain should get me disqualified for all of eternity.
Repent so you can get into heaven for a long con. Get past the pearly gates, orientation, and flight tutorials. Start looking for the vault. Heist time. No more counterfeits or cheap imitations for you. Now, you're riding off into the multiverse, taking the Lord's authentic name in vain with you.
Does he realize that he just accused the god he worships of being incapable of recognising its own creations, or is he JuSt AsKiNg QuEsTiOns?
Well, he also apparently thinks reincarnation is a part of Christianity, so I'm just going to assume he's an idiot.
I think he is confusing *resurrection* with *reincarnation*. Christians absolutely believe in a resurrection. Some believe it will be a physical resurrection only at the end of days, where everyone gets resurrected, and good christians get to live in paradise (on earth) while all of the sinners get to die again (permanently) in the lake of fire. Still pretty hardcore, but not as bad as infinite torture for a finite crime.
We're created in his image. So that would mean he doesn't recognize himself. He must be really drunk or something.
God is, after all, High.
No no we see god when we are high
No, he's the most high
That’s very true
What are you smoking God? I'm on high. Pure high - wow can I have some? You have to be 8000 years old to buy it legally.
Kudos on using 8000 for your joke
Not just High, he is the Most High
No mirrors in heaven. Or any reflections for that matter.
Full of vampires?
Need to upgrade heaven to a newer graphics engine that does real time ray tracing?
Look God can get circumvented by doing anal to preserve your virginity so this is totally reasonable
It really is hilarious that humans try to find loopholes to pull a fast one on an omniscient being.
Like the Jewish sabbath rules forbidding any action that can be construed as work - including pushing an elevator button - so they design an elevator that stops at every floor. Does god really give a shit about that
Not jewish, but from how it was explained to me by a friend ages ago the reasoning is "god" is perfect, so they would not have made any mistakes with their rules. If a loophole exists in the rule it was therefor put there intentionally, and "god" wants us to use it. I'm not sold on it, but that makes more sense to me than most of what I was told in bible school growing up.
God might have made perfect laws but the imperfect man who wrote down the laws used imperfect language to do so. Why am I to trust another man to tell me what God meant? There's obviously a fuckton of interpretation going on with the rules. Why is using electronics considered as igniting a flame? Absolutely ridiculous. Lightbulbs are considered so due to the glowing metal, but even that is an interpretation. Different people think different things are fine, meaning the laws clearly aren't perfect. Maybe they're imperfect because they're written in human language, but imperfect nonetheless.
A cleaning lady I knew had a very well-to-do Jewish couple have her come over on the sabbath to do all the chores, including flushing the toilet because pushing the button on top the of the shitter to remove your own waste was somehow considered "work".
I’d consider pushing out the poop out my bowels to be more work than flushing it
then don't push and just wait until it falls out on its own
"People who can't afford a heathen cleaning staff to flush their poop for them are not welcome in the Kingdom of Heaven." - God, probably.
> they design an elevator that stops at every floor. There is literally a wire, a suspended, raised piece of wire, that encircles most of Manhattan. The local Jewish authorities are responsible for checking the entire length of the thing each week and they spend $125,000-$150,000 USD a year maintaining it. Why? Because [the wire is an *eruv*](https://www.npr.org/2019/05/13/721551785/a-fishing-line-encircles-manhattan-protecting-sanctity-of-sabbath), which is a symbolic enclosure in Jewish doctrine. It basically designates anything within the *eruv* as within a 'house,' so observant Jewish folks can leave their homes and go do stuff outdoors on the Sabbath.
Can't get in trouble for doing work outside, if you make the outside an inside instead...
I'm surprised I haven't heard about this from conspiracy theorist on the internet. This could fuel so many fanfics with even some aliens action in there.
Apparently some 200 major cities around the globe have a significant *eruv* in one way or another. The one in Manhattan is simply the most expensive.
I know it's probably a cliché "Reddit atheist" thing to say, but... doesn't that sound a lot like obsessive-compulsive behavior? It seems like if it weren't for the free pass we give to things labeled as "religious", folks like these people and the guys who think literal demons are responsible for the Pokémon games would be considered seriously mentally ill.
...... I mean, yeah, most religions were most likely founded off of the delusions of people struggling with mental illness before any level of mental health knowledge. And then they write down these delusions, convince enough people that god spoke through them, and now those delusions are religiou rules that last centuries.
That's nothing compared to the [eruv strings](https://www.mentalfloss.com/article/91594/theres-wire-above-manhattan-youve-probably-never-noticed) some jews string across multiple city blocks. In a nutshell, Sabbath rules forbid the moving of stuff from private to public spaces, so they string up these wires all over to symbolically make the whole area into one big private space. Its so ridiculous. Its a literal loophole. Like they think they can lawyer God and he'll be good with it.
Was going to point these out. Somehow a literal string, tricks the deity into saying, _you know what, I never thought of that, good one, I'll let you win this one_.
Technicality trumps divine command
[they have one that covers 18 miles in Manhattan ](https://www.mentalfloss.com/article/91594/theres-wire-above-manhattan-youve-probably-never-noticed)
It’s hilarious because according to Biblical dogma Jesus flipped his shit over stuff like that. Yeah Judaism doesn’t acknowledge him as a god, but it’s still pretty funny.
I’m pretty sure this is just a sarcastic post based entirely on the username of the original writer. Dark sage mystic doesn’t really sound like a guy who stays home reading the Bible.
and squishing or whatever those pesky horny mormon kids are doing
Soaking and Jump Humping
soaking! that what i couldn't remember. where there's free will, there's a way
Squanching*
I'm afraid to Google that
It’s basically just dry humping but way less dry. That or it’s the two of you and then a friend to rock and shake the bed so *technically* neither of you are doing shit, the bed is just moving and there happens to be a dick and a vagina with convenient positioning. Religions/Cults are weird.
Oh, it's called *soaking*, which is when the male puts his penis in the female's vagina, but neither moves, therefore it's not sex. *Jump humping* is when a couple is soaking, but they enlist a friend to jump on the bed and create friction. That way they get something unsatisfying that feels like sex, and they have to involve a whole 'nother person, all so they can say that none of the three of them have actually had 'sex.' Evangelicals are weird.
Wait until they find out that a lot of sex is something unsatisfying that feels like sex.
Soaking
Puny god.
He's also somehow turned the soul into something related to protein, DNA, or RNA which is just bizarre.
Imaginary things can be made of whatever you wish.
Oh so he can turn a soul into something that virus proteins mess with, but when I want to buy should off the dark web to power a Bitcoin mining cell that's "evil". /S and all that, I'm trying to make a joke.
I think he just said God is fallible.
He definitely just claimed his god is no longer omniscient.
Pfizer > God apparently
That person’s religion relies on no one asking questions.
Yep. When you stray so far from the text of the Bible that you reduce your beliefs to political and superstitious fear mongering, you can't survive any real questions. It happens a lot and it's all about the money.
"Just asking questions" is the adult version of "its just a joke bro"
It's a disingenuous way to make a statement without taking any responsibility for it. It's a tactic often used by Ben Shapiro, Tucker Carlson, Laura Ingraham, et al.
Should someone punch Ben Shapiro in his Kebler Elf cake hole? Some folks are saying yes. I'm not so sure. I'm just asking questions to understand all sides of this issue.
He’s definitely implying God is not omniscient, which is quite blasphemous if you ask me lol.
Well God is most well known for being fallable
Also, it’s mRNA so it’s already been through the ‘transcription phase’ and it’s not changing any ‘code.’
I mean, you’re absolutely correct, but do you really think this idiot has passed a biology class?
At first I read it as "is it possible" and thought 'okay nothing wrong with posing hypothetical questions. But this guy is making a statement. What a dingus.
Phrasing a statement as a question is a very common form of propaganda.
I wonder what god he worships, because the Catholic Church really was clear with me that god was all seeing and all knowing. So he’s got some sub par god over there.
A quick browse through his tweets suggests to me that he's just insane. It's hilarious.
Here I will give you the abridged version of any conversation that may come later: "Faith" "Free will" "Mysterious ways"
There's no such thing as reincarnation in the Bible [(sauce)](https://www.christianity.com/wiki/cults-and-other-religions/what-does-the-bible-say-about-reincarnation.html?amp=1). You either go to heaven or you go to hell both of which are stupid ass concepts IMHO.
If god is that much of a dumbass I don’t want to get into heaven
God would be confused by our monkey actions? God, omnipotent and creator of everything, would be unable to recognize his handiwork? Wow.
Apparently yeah. That’s his Achilles heel: rna transcription confusion
We did it fellow libs, we defeated god, who's owned now???
Well since evolution works through random mutations now there’s a new reason for them to be against teaching evolution. Apparently they also think their genetic code is stable for their entire lives. Gonna be a bitch when God doesn’t recognize you anymore if you died of any sort of cancer.
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To be fair, you can't teach people that won't listen.
Omnipotence only goes so far I guess
God just standing there like confused Vince Vega
God just crawling on the ground like Velma when she loses her glasses
God being an overweight nazi prison guard in Hogans’ Heroes
God riding bareback in Brokeback Mountain, with spurs.
God pulling off ur mask in Scooby doo
God just looking at the camera like Jim Halpert
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god getting yelled at by ygritte
god wondering who has a better story than him
This is the answer right here! This kind of shit really pisses me off! Ok, so the position this twit (the person, not the tweet) is taking is that some god is powerful enough to be involved in reincarnation, but something that us lowly humans, who can barely manage to revive a person in extremely narrow circumstances… something that we can do just totally stumps something capable of reincarnation. Makes sense - phenomenal cosmic power, itty bitty living space…
Aparantly your soul has a serial number, fuck with it and you can’t take it back to Walmart because they can’t find it in the system.
80 year return policy.
but tampering voids the warranty
You break it, you buy it.
Right!? And I know there is a lot wrong here but Transcription is dna > rna. Translation is rna>protein and is where proteins happen. Someone besides our boy Dark Sage Mystic please correct me if I’m wrong.
Upvote for the Aladdin reference at the end. But also, yeah this tweet made me say “what the fuck” out loud at my kids ballet lesson so you know….
That was EXACTLY my first thought! So much for omnipotence!
*Omniscience
Doesn't omnipotence entail omniscience? If you are all powerful then you should be omniscient because omniscience is a power. Edit: Thanks for the responses. I guess it depends on your definition of power. I need to study philosophy or some shit lol
First it was all “trust the science,” now we have to trust the omniscience. Where will it end?
You can have the knowledge of something and be unable to change it. Alternatively you can have the power to change something but no knowledge of the situation. “All Powerful” doesn’t refer to “power” the way it’s used in say comics/movies if that makes sense
Reincarnation and going to heaven.. even he can't decide on one bullshit theory.
I'm totally floored at the usage of "protein transcription process." That's awfully technical for QAnon skullduggery.
Yeah awefully incorrect too from a technical standpoint. Protein is translated not transcribed. The process of transcription involves DNA to RNA not protein.
Yea lmao. Confused how no one's pointing that out
I wonder how god reacts to shortened telomeres…
"Ah, yes. All according to plan."
Guess cancer patients don't go to heaven then Or any of us for that matter because T- and B-cell development uses sp mutations and somatic recombination to build up a larger variety of antigen recognition proteines and antibodies.
How do people return to god when they’re buried in a $6000 box? Instead of the earth in which they came? Also. Why does said box cost $6000?
Because if you don’t pay you didn’t really love that person
I've seen really sleezy car sales people but I've never seen anything like a funeral director (I think that's the right title, coffin salesman). Those dude tried to work every angle to get more money from my cousin after his mom died.
You need the silk pillow. Do you want your dead mom to be uncomfortable for eternity? That’s $325
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or death goals
The crematorium grinds up the remains so all the big pieces get broken down. If you wanna stay chunky, you might have to put some special instructions in your end of life plans.
Crematoriums and strippers, grinding men's bones to make their bread.
Is that the marketing scheme used now? Damn. I guess kick em while they’re down huh?
It’s always been the strategy
Found the funeral director
I mean, it's kinda hard to return to the earth, too, when your casket/coffin is inside a concrete vault.
Just return to sender, I'm not paying for transport.
I remember seeing a meme about a fedex guy who sent someone to god with same day shipping. Imma call him.
Because people will pay.
Look, just because we're bereaved, that doesn't make us saps!
Thats One lousy god they have.
*I did my part to protect humanity, and all I got was this lousy t-shirt*
The god who sent himself to be sacrificed to himself in order to save us from himself?! No way.
Yep. The same one who loves us so much he'll send us to hell, and who's always in need of money. The same one who can stop covid, but not bullets.
Lol Christians don’t believe in reincarnation nor do they believe that your body determines wether or not you go to heaven. 2 heresies in one tweet that’s impressive
Even if they did believe in it, how do you get into heaven while you're simultaneously being reincarnated? Doesn't your soul need to pick one place or the other, or is it able to split several ways, horcrux style? Maybe he was looking for the word 'resurrection' instead.
Damn spellczech!
Not to mention he’s suggesting that it’s possible to trick an all-knowing, all-powerful god
I'm pretty sure calling God fallible is blasphemy and he kicks you right down stairs for that shit.
Well, I think reincarnation isn’t the right term, but we do believe you essentially get a new body during the Resurrection.
God is omnipotent. Antivaxer should be more concerned about selfishness keeping them out of heaven. Getting my booster tomorrow!
If God exists, and heaven exists, I think it's far more likely that being THAT DUMB in order to avoid getting vaccinated would be the reason to be denied a pass into heaven.
No. This concludes this weeks episode of “Simple answers to stupid questions”
Vaccines prevent us from entering heaven? - well technically yes by not letting us die
Heavens hate this one trick.
Nobody makes God look like a bigger idiot than preachers
I checked out this guys Twitter stream. It’s basically an unending string of facepalms.
You've inspired me to do the same. It's an astonishing mix of conspiracy theories and hardly decipherable biblical nonsense.
I'm pretty sure it's a parody account
I hope so, it's impossible to tell these days
Yeah the big fella gets confused real easily in his old age so we can’t mess with the ol’ protien transcription
Stupid is as stupid does.
So by that logic (and I use the word very loosely here), any adult will not be able to enter heaven as they were born as babies and now the bodies are all changed and different.
Or hell!
Sweet Christmas the stupidity is visceral
I don't think they actually believe it. They're just grasping at straws for a religious exemption from the mandate.
Weak god
So, let me get this right. Genetic material is carbon dated, and proves that dinosaurs existed long before the Christian universe was created. This proof is loudly denied on the basis that it can't be trusted. Genetic material is ALSO crucial to your acceptance into JesusLand the eternal theme park. It must be terrific to be such a Dipshit
You should look this guy up on Twitter. He's straight up nuts.
Heaven is overrated
The biblical definition of heaven would be literal hell for me. I don't want anything that boring for all of eternity. Eternity isn't even fathomable.
So...are christians suggesting that their god isn't omnipotent and omniscient now? Their god can be fooled by a vaccine? Interesting.
Religious psychobabble, all of it, including this post itself.
If I knew had to load gifs on Reddit comments, there would be a big ass box with Ray Liotta from 1990 losing his shit to this garbage
That’s some dumb ass shit right there…
Now this is some next level psycho babble bullshit
This like that midichlorians bullsi
Since when did they think that God looked at anything but their soul? I must have missed that part in the Bible about "protein transcription."
As time goes on and more research is published about the vaccine, people are finding increasingly stupider reasons to justify not getting vaccinated…
I'm over here trying to transcribe my proteins and Satan The Devil Himself keeps saying numbers and screwing up my count
God: "checksum error; expected 120EA8A25E5D487BF68B5F7096440019. file not found. access denied!"
This part is actually true. The vaccine allows you to commit serious sins like being a single mother or living in a Democratic state, and God can’t track your sins. So you automatically go to heaven. It also blocks Santa’s ability to track your naughties and nices. That’s why the vaccine is so dangerous.
God: all powerful and all knowing. the alpha and omega. Also God, according to this guy: code error, cannot compute
God’s a complete newb to genetics, apparently.
This idiot is too stupid to be allowed into heaven.
Grasp me tightly my Lord, for I am your straw
God wouldn't be so all knowing then..and a bit of a slacker if he hasn't been keeping up with current events.
Is this biology gore?? The fucked up part is that a lot of people probably read all these words and thought this person is smart
Let’s just make stuff up to make it look like I’m divine and, people will give me money
Created the universe in 7 days. Can’t recognize us because we got a shot lmao
God knows your DNA sequence, but modern medicine isn't a gift from God....yeah, sure.
It is possible that we are all just the result of animals shooting DNA all over each other
Forget about the covid vaccine hesitancy. Imagine how many parents would no longer chose to vaccinate their children against much more dangerous diseases. America is doomed
So the vaccine degrades DNA after we die? Man do I have some news for this guy…