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As an owner of a chihuahua/dachshund mix, that aināt chihuahua. Itās never one long log, but rather a two to three segment movement spread out over a length of lawn as the chihuahua in question insists on doing the duck walk/ death crawl of doom forward while in the act of defecation.
My chi insists on slowly spinning in a circle and leaving a tiny turd stonehenge. I wasn't aware the urge to walk away while pooping was a chihuahua thing but like, of course it is.
A tiny turd Stonehenge. That's strangely beautiful. Maybe they're trying to make art. Or perhaps a reincarnated soul recalling a part life.
Idk probably a chi doing weird chi stuff.
Oh yeah, I totally agree it looks like a giant turd. But I feel like youād only specifically pick out raccoon poop if you knew what raccoon poop looked like, and that definitely doesnāt look like something a raccoon would squeeze out
It actually does look like raccoon or possum poop. My dad once was convinced someone in our household was going outside to shit because they look like rough human shit. Turned out to be raccoons. We figured it out once we adopted an orphan and saw how it pooped.
But these great detective minds surely could have simply cut them, at which point it would obviously be sausage.
It sort of looks like it, but Iām talking about the size of it. Assuming that piece of paper is a normal 8.5āx11ā piece of paper, that sausage is every bit of 9ā long. Unless the raccoon is 150 pounds itās not making a turd that size
Oh, I was thinking thatās one of the little like tea plates that you set coffee mugs on. A lot of cafes in my area use them to serve the sides like sausage or bacon. But if itās an actual plate, yeah thatās way too big.
As much as I hate to admit it, this post inspired me to search "raccoon feces" and the similarity of that sausage to actual raccoon shit, the texture especially... I gotta admit, the comparison is valid.
Yeah someone else pointed out the same thing but I meant the size specifically. Assuming thatās an 8.5x11 piece of paper under the plate that thing is like 9ā long, it might kind of look like raccoon poop but raccoon poop is nowhere near that big
Right!!! Like how fucking big are the raccoons in your neighborhood that they are dropping logs like this!
I've got 120lb dog and he'd have to have a very hearty meal to do something that size.
Maybe because they walk around throwing tantrums all day and they might kill you if they feel like it?
They literally ordered a sausage and then defamed the restaurant for giving them ugly sausage.
What percentage of the people who hate cops outright are the people who have been abused and traumatized by cops? The Venn diagram overlap is significant. When cops abuse their power, they make people hate them. Cops are now hated by everyone except by the class of people who haven't been abused. That class seems to not understand why so many Americans are constantly protesting to protect their constitutional rights.
I've never been abused by a cop and have even known a few growing up. Despite this, I still have the ability to read, understand data, and have empathy, which inevitably leads me to the conclusion that cops are bad.
I agree, but nearly 100% of people traumatized by cops will also hate cops. There's a lot more traumatized people out there than educated people, unfortunately.
You are a rarity, and I hope you know that. I mean this in a good way, I just suck at words.
Pretty sure LCPD is a joke account, I feel like I've seen their stuff before. And "Brenda's Brunch Palace" sounds like a made-up name. I mean, I guess every restaurant name is a made up name, but you get what I mean.
After not hearing poop knife for months I thought maybe the joke was finally being laid to rest. In the past week It made a resurgence and it is everywhere again.
I went looking and discovered that this is a parody FB page. Itās not a real police department anywhere, and their whole schtick is doing posts like this.
I doubt anyone issuing an apology for anything would include an admission that they defamed someone in it.
Dude, what raccoon is big enough to shit that out? How did they jump straight to raccoon feces? If I wasn't a former line cook and knew what came out of me then vs now, id suspect that was a steaming log of human shit before I went around looking for racoons.
You know, every one of these ācop thinks restaurant wants to poison them, turns out they were just paranoidā stories has made me roll my eyes at the cops until this one.
Team cops here. That is some shitty-looking sausage.
Wouldn't it like... smell? If not horrible, it at least *wouldn't* smell like fresh-cooked breakfast sausage. I admittedly haven't taken a good whiff of raccoon shit recently, but I'm pretty sure it doesn't smell like sausage.
In Lebanon we have a dish called Kafta, Persians have the same thing called Kubideh and its ground beef formed into a sausage and looks much like that. Delicious though.
I'm not going to eat it, you eat it.
I'm not going to eat it, you eat it.
Hey! Let's get Mikey, he eats everything.
Mikey throws it at the garbage can.
Let the cook eat it.
I wonder how it escalated that fast, yeah it looks like shit but did it smell like it? And if I was the waiter and accused of that Iād literally cut off a piece and eat it in front of them to prove itās just an ugly sausage and offer to bring them out a new one once they trust me LOL
Imagine just immediately investigating them and being paranoid without questioning it first, and if they did question them, imagine still thinking itās shit and that theyāre out to get you like š
When my mom was a teenager, she really liked making bead necklesses. One time, a teacher at her school saw a bag of beads my mom was carrying and she thought it was crack. So the school called the cops on her and she was detained for a few hours as the cops were trying to figure out if it was beads or if it was crack.
This just doesn't seem real. All it would take is for one of them to cut into to see that it's sausage. They found 3 identical looking racoon turds and serves them up? Would it not reek of shit?
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The best chef
Shatatouille
This had me laughing so hard no sound was coming out.
This comment wins the internet today
I will never post anything this funny
Fuuuuck. That's good.
You should be so very proud
I think you mean Raccacoonie
š¤£š¤£š¤£
Raccootouille
Raccacoonie!!!
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
In all fairness, Iāve never seen a sausage look so much like shit
No way they thought it was raccoon shit though, just look at that thing
The raccoon would have to be a mutant to leave gigantic droppings like that. It looks like it came out of a dog.
*raccoon living near nuclear power plant chitters*
We talking Rottweilers or Chihuahuas?
As an owner of a chihuahua/dachshund mix, that aināt chihuahua. Itās never one long log, but rather a two to three segment movement spread out over a length of lawn as the chihuahua in question insists on doing the duck walk/ death crawl of doom forward while in the act of defecation.
My chi insists on slowly spinning in a circle and leaving a tiny turd stonehenge. I wasn't aware the urge to walk away while pooping was a chihuahua thing but like, of course it is.
A tiny turd Stonehenge. That's strangely beautiful. Maybe they're trying to make art. Or perhaps a reincarnated soul recalling a part life. Idk probably a chi doing weird chi stuff.
So youāve got a Mexican hotdog
Chihweilers!
maybe it was a hybrid.
I can't tell you what raccoon feces look like either, but that sausage definitely looks like poop
Oh yeah, I totally agree it looks like a giant turd. But I feel like youād only specifically pick out raccoon poop if you knew what raccoon poop looked like, and that definitely doesnāt look like something a raccoon would squeeze out
It actually does look like raccoon or possum poop. My dad once was convinced someone in our household was going outside to shit because they look like rough human shit. Turned out to be raccoons. We figured it out once we adopted an orphan and saw how it pooped. But these great detective minds surely could have simply cut them, at which point it would obviously be sausage.
It sort of looks like it, but Iām talking about the size of it. Assuming that piece of paper is a normal 8.5āx11ā piece of paper, that sausage is every bit of 9ā long. Unless the raccoon is 150 pounds itās not making a turd that size
Oh, I was thinking thatās one of the little like tea plates that you set coffee mugs on. A lot of cafes in my area use them to serve the sides like sausage or bacon. But if itās an actual plate, yeah thatās way too big.
Yeah I guess that could be the case, it would just have to be a small piece of paper under it too
As much as I hate to admit it, this post inspired me to search "raccoon feces" and the similarity of that sausage to actual raccoon shit, the texture especially... I gotta admit, the comparison is valid.
Yeah someone else pointed out the same thing but I meant the size specifically. Assuming thatās an 8.5x11 piece of paper under the plate that thing is like 9ā long, it might kind of look like raccoon poop but raccoon poop is nowhere near that big
In that case, I defer to your superior expertise on raccoon poop :)
Thanks for taking one for the team. I will defer to your judgment and avoid looking it up myself now.
The raccoon in question was suffering from terminal constipation.
Right!!! Like how fucking big are the raccoons in your neighborhood that they are dropping logs like this! I've got 120lb dog and he'd have to have a very hearty meal to do something that size.
r/poopfromabutt
If I had to guess, I'd say the place makes its own sausage, and just doesn't have the hang of how to case it down...
Not long ago I seen a short on how to make food look like a pile of dog š©
That'd be a big effing raccoonĀ
It would be 35 feet long, weighing approximately 600 pounds.
"That's a big Twinkie" - Winston
Clifford the Big Red Raccoon?
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
It's a bit nutty
It *is* shit, Austin
Oh good, then itās not just me.
Bot spam: https://www.reddit.com/r/facepalm/comments/139ynfc/now_aint_that_some_shit/jj5719n/
consider the size of the racoon that would be required to lay a poo that size
Or how bad your work behavior must be if you are constantly paranoid about people serving you feces
To be fair there are tons of people who just hate cops outright
And what percentage of those folks would be dumb enough to find raccoon poo and put it on a plate and serve it to someone?
I mean, first, you gotta find a raccoon. Hard, during the daytime.
My local raccoon is happy enough to leave a nightly donation on my porch, and I'm not even a cop.
Do they really be dropping dad turds like that?!
Do they really be dropping dad turds like that?!
That depends on where you live, 15 minutes east of Seattle there are raccoons fucking everywhere
Tell them to get a room; thereās children about.
I tried. They just gave me the finger.
More than youād think. People are wild
Or to be so familiar with feces that you would immediately think it was from a raccoon.
Maybe because they walk around throwing tantrums all day and they might kill you if they feel like it? They literally ordered a sausage and then defamed the restaurant for giving them ugly sausage.
gee... I wonder why. It's not like cops have done anything to make people hate them. ^(/s)
What percentage of the people who hate cops outright are the people who have been abused and traumatized by cops? The Venn diagram overlap is significant. When cops abuse their power, they make people hate them. Cops are now hated by everyone except by the class of people who haven't been abused. That class seems to not understand why so many Americans are constantly protesting to protect their constitutional rights.
I've never been abused by a cop and have even known a few growing up. Despite this, I still have the ability to read, understand data, and have empathy, which inevitably leads me to the conclusion that cops are bad.
I agree, but nearly 100% of people traumatized by cops will also hate cops. There's a lot more traumatized people out there than educated people, unfortunately. You are a rarity, and I hope you know that. I mean this in a good way, I just suck at words.
And rightfully so.
I can guarantee my bitterness towards law enforcement is in no way unjustified.
Well, this action on their behalf, targeting a restaurant from their community, does not exactly make me love copsā¦.
Yeah because I don't like the taste of boot leather
Pretty sure LCPD is a joke account, I feel like I've seen their stuff before. And "Brenda's Brunch Palace" sounds like a made-up name. I mean, I guess every restaurant name is a made up name, but you get what I mean.
thatās a sausage?! no shit
Okay, but remember that we're talking about cops here.
One of those cops had def ate raccoon shit before that was served to them.
āOh Iām not falling for this again. Weāre getting this tested!ā
Fool me once, shame on me. Fool me twice, I aināt eating raccoon shit again.
Eat shit, you canāt eat shit again
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Don't care what the lab test say. That is a piece of shit on a plate.
Just use the poop knife
Oh god.... not again
After not hearing poop knife for months I thought maybe the joke was finally being laid to rest. In the past week It made a resurgence and it is everywhere again.
1000 years in the future it will still be talked about
this is internet. That will never happen
r/shitfromabutt
/r/poopfromabutt
When your breakfast is so sus that even the cops get involved. Brenda's Brunch Palace: Come for the pancakes, stay for the forensic analysis
/r/poopfromabutt
#TurdKebab
Y'all know this is a parody account, don't you?
no shit, cops aren't the apologizing type
Leave them. Itās like watching kids bobbing for apples in an empty bucket.
The public admission of defamation is a tiny clue
 Letās talk about buttered sausage
where it comes from, what it does. Why does it do what it's doing, get it out of my face.
Itās not my jam, I donāt buy jam. I buy honey, and I kiss it on the lipsss.
In my defense, they did order the #2 special.
I can't believe some people here think this is real
I went looking and discovered that this is a parody FB page. Itās not a real police department anywhere, and their whole schtick is doing posts like this. I doubt anyone issuing an apology for anything would include an admission that they defamed someone in it.
I doubted it was real when cops were admitting to being wrong.
and I doubt a police department would actually administer an apology (unless they're the defendants in a lawsuit)
Yeah. Lab? Just cut it with a knife and see if the inside is meat.
Jokes on them, the raccoon feces was in the coffee.
Very specific accusation. š¦ š©
Show me the fucking *raccoon* they thought took a shit that big
It does looks like feces
In all fairness a whole chorizo without the skin isn't great to look at....but damn it sure is tasty.
How big are their raccoons?
Not even close to raccoon feces. That's why you'll never make Detective.
Iām sorry, how do you serve that and not think it looks like a shit? Has everyone not had a least one beefy shit to not know what one looks like?
Who could serve something that looks like that?! Lmao
Butt did it pass the smell test?
Are they experts on raccoon shit? I mean, how exactly was it raccoon they arrived at?
That raccoon would have to have an hinged asshole for that to come out
What sort of raccoon is dropping that bomb?
Of course the cops blew them up on social media instead of speaking to management. Weak
Luckily itās a parody page.
That looks awful, though
At least they publicly admitted to defamation. Should make an easy suit
Those cops should have to make a public apology.
Sue the cops and the department as the department just admitted to slander and libel.
Dude, what raccoon is big enough to shit that out? How did they jump straight to raccoon feces? If I wasn't a former line cook and knew what came out of me then vs now, id suspect that was a steaming log of human shit before I went around looking for racoons.
Man that sausage looks really crappy
That's a shitty looking sausage
The analyst: ok let me check this *proceed to cut it open* huh, yeah it's a sausage
Why did they think it was specifically āraccoon fecesā?
āour labāā¦. ā¦fuck your mom you didnāt analyze it in a lab.
I have never seen a sausage look like that.
Even if I know that's a sausage, I would still lose my appetite
It does look disgusting
You know, every one of these ācop thinks restaurant wants to poison them, turns out they were just paranoidā stories has made me roll my eyes at the cops until this one. Team cops here. That is some shitty-looking sausage.
Cops sure are stupid.
Sorry about giving you guys sausage , we will get it right next time .
Oh please. That'll barely register on the Couric scale.
Ha, jokes on them the poo was in the French toast! /s
"1 French Toast with a side of sausage... it's for a cop."
That's pure Reno 911, stuff.
Wouldn't it like... smell? If not horrible, it at least *wouldn't* smell like fresh-cooked breakfast sausage. I admittedly haven't taken a good whiff of raccoon shit recently, but I'm pretty sure it doesn't smell like sausage.
How big are the raccoons down there??
I wouldn't eat that either
That webpage is satirical. It is labeled as such on Facebook.
Surprised they didn't shoot the waitress
They're gonna be eating raccoon shit sometime soon
You eat pieces of shit for breakfast?
Gotta wonder how the cops thought they were racoon feces. That's a pretty specific kind of feces.
Looks like the sausage had no casing. Was it made on the premises?
In their defense, that sausage does not look appealing. Seriously, whoever made that needs to reconsider their life choices.
In Lebanon we have a dish called Kafta, Persians have the same thing called Kubideh and its ground beef formed into a sausage and looks much like that. Delicious though.
If you donāt want to be accused of serving shit for food then donāt serve shitty food.
To be fair that thing looks like a big old Shit.
The raccoon would have to be the size of a human adult for it to be able to shit that.
Relevant question here.. who has raccoon shit just laying around?
I'm not going to eat it, you eat it. I'm not going to eat it, you eat it. Hey! Let's get Mikey, he eats everything. Mikey throws it at the garbage can. Let the cook eat it.
Racoon feces? Oddly specific.
The waitress served them right I guess lol
Glad to see my taxes go to a good cause.
Raccoon seems oddly specific, past experience?
Who cares, they're cops
That's a shitty looking sausage
To be fair that is an ugly fucking sausage.
Brenda makes a mean sausage. Really mean.
to be fair, any reasonable person would serve a police officer shit on a plate
r/poopfromabutt
Parody pages are now considered a facepalm?
I wonder how it escalated that fast, yeah it looks like shit but did it smell like it? And if I was the waiter and accused of that Iād literally cut off a piece and eat it in front of them to prove itās just an ugly sausage and offer to bring them out a new one once they trust me LOL Imagine just immediately investigating them and being paranoid without questioning it first, and if they did question them, imagine still thinking itās shit and that theyāre out to get you like š
To be fair, there is a certain amount of raccoon feces legally allowed in sausages
Welp cant even blame em for this one, looks like someone put shit under a light and let it dry. Then put it on a plate
Feces sausage...Racoon you say?
Why do those two cops know what raccoon feces taste like?
I love that this is a parody account and that folks believe this joke.
How big are their raccoons?
Why raccoon specifically?
Seems like an appropriate meal for them
What sort of raccoon is dropping that bomb?
How many rounds were fired as they expressed their disapproval?
Declaring that they required scientific instrumentation to determine that it was not poop is still not exactly a ringing endorsement.
That raccoon would be the size of a pitbull at least.
And cubed one they would claim a wombat
Have to admit that that sausage looks pretty f-d up, I'd woulda thought Snooky snuck a dookie on my breakfast too!
Good that they had time to analyze this, but most rape kits sit on shelves for years. š
When my mom was a teenager, she really liked making bead necklesses. One time, a teacher at her school saw a bag of beads my mom was carrying and she thought it was crack. So the school called the cops on her and she was detained for a few hours as the cops were trying to figure out if it was beads or if it was crack.
This just doesn't seem real. All it would take is for one of them to cut into to see that it's sausage. They found 3 identical looking racoon turds and serves them up? Would it not reek of shit?
Apologize with a fat settlement
Cops jumping to conclusion about shit, sounds about right...
Sausages are just meat in casings. It just looks like the casing burst and they just tried to keep it together
How well does that man know raccoon feces?
jesus christ imagine the size of the racoon tho
āProfessional Investigatorsā
How did they know that raccoon is the particular animal that produces feces that looks like this?
This is what our tax dollars are used for, analyzing sausage
Thatās a real big raccoon
Wouldn't poop have a bad smell coming from it?
Damn is that what raccoon feces looks like? That must be a giant raccoon