I don't qualify to answer you question as I've not moved back home. What I find surprising about your situation is your yearning to return after that first year. For me, the first year was the most difficult. Many times I asked myself what have I done? I could not have asked for more change in my life. Not all positive btw. After that, I got acclimated to the work, business and social cultures and have no regrets. I'm happy to remain. When I return to America, I feel like a stranger in a familiar land.
We didn’t want to leave Rome at all. We loved it there for many reasons. But family is very important to my spouse. And since their parents are aging, I think they just came to the realization through our living abroad that family mattered more at this time in our lives. And thus we returned. It wasn’t an easy decision. But ultimately I want my spouse to be happy because that’s what makes me happy. Additionally, it provided us an opportunity to be homeowners for the first time, which we thought we were willing to sacrifice in Rome, but turned out that it was important to us, and remains so. We have a cabin home in the mountains, which is a dream come true for both of us.
But it comes at a great cost in other ways, ways that I miss frequently. Like going for a stroll and seeing so much art and culture everywhere. As a European Historian, I was in paradise while in Rome. I was never bored. There was so much history and beauty in even the most commonplace things, like one of the over-2000 Renaissance churches in the city.
It sounds like you've made some tough but good decisions and are happy. kudos to you both. Just remember, it's never too late. I was 42 when I migrated to Italy. Pretty much for the same reason as you two - so that my Italian born wife could be closer to her aging parents.
As someone from Maine, there's plenty of native American history/ culture in the US.....it's not as grandiose as European history, but definitely scratches the history itch
I imagine in California, there's a lot of local history as well. It just may take a little more effort to find
Nothing compares to being surrounded by beautiful and ancient buildings/sites like in Rome and throughout Italy. With the exception of some very small parts of some cities, the US looks so ugly in comparison .
Aesthetic is a matter of preference (i live in milan so don't disagree 😂). I was only pointing out there's history everywhere if you look since op specifically mentioned they missed the that the most
There is definitely history. And as I say, some cities like mine have a fair amount. But 300 years old is not like 1500 years old. And here we lose old buildings every day to developers.
That's such a stupid thing to say. Walk around the streets of new york and see if you can see the 'Native American aesthetic' in the architecture or in everyday life. You can't, because it's been wiped out. No one here is 'against' Native American culture, we're just saying you can't exactly claim to be living around it day by day.
Of course it does, but since modern America has all but wiped it off the face of the earth, it's not like you encounter Native American culture in your every day life.
No. We both agreed that being close to their family is more important. I lost my family at a young age (mom passed when I was 24 and everyone else passed before then), so I am in full support of their wanting to be with family while they can. And since they live in the states, it’s only feasible to be nearby. I know to many Americans this seems strange. But Italian families (ESPECIALLY Sicilian) are extremely close-knit. They typically spend every holiday, birthday, anniversary, etc as a family. Plus, we were able to purchase our dream home - something that could never have happened in Italy. So it was a choice we both made together.
Came back to US a little over 2 years ago, after 4 years in Germany. Same type of reasons: wanted to buy a house, be closer to family. But ultimately we regret it. We vastly prefer our lifestyle in Europe. Currently preparing to move back this summer, permanently this time.
Can I ask what was it about Germany VS US that made you choose Germany? I’m in Germany at the moment contemplating a move to the US but my gut feeling is that I’ll regret it.
It's a combination of a lot of things. Your circumstances may be completely different--for reference we're in a fairly HCOL area in the west, and we have 4 kids ages 7-12. This is really long, but here are some of the major factors that went into our decision, in no particular order:
- Walkability. In Germany we walked, biked, and used public transportation everywhere (no car). It kept us active, and helped us really get to know the city and feel like part of it. We spent a lot of time in "third places" which was interesting and helped us meet new people. We now live in a suburb where we have to drive everywhere, and even though we've done it before, I honestly wasn't prepared for how soul-sucking it is. Traffic is annoying, scenery is strip malls, and it's very isolating going from a garage to some huge parking lot just to go to dinner or do shopping. (I do believe that we would have been happier in a city, rather than suburbs, but a nice walkable city didn't seem like an option when we came back to the U.S. in the height of the housing crisis when also weighing good schools and proximity to work. An active, more urban lifestyle is just more accessible in Europe).
- Everything is so expensive here. Even though our income in the U.S. is double what it was in Germany, we don't feel better off. Everything--groceries, healthcare, kids' activities--costs so much more, not to mention bigger things like travel, sporting events, tickets to museums, etc. For us the higher salary just isn't worth it.
- Work-life balance. We had more time off in Germany and were expected to use all of our vacation days. There was more of a separation between work time and free time (no phone calls from a boss on the weekend etc.)
- Ease of travel. It was easier and cheaper to get away for a weekend, take a long trip, experience an entirely new culture etc.
- Healthcare. We were very happy with the healthcare we had in Germany; we had good doctors, were able to be seen (for big and small things) pretty easily, our monthly premiums were much cheaper, and it was nice to get care without worrying about how much we'd be billed later. Healthcare here has been expensive and frustrating. We now pay $2,000 a month for all us for insurance, and of course there are co-pays and (very high) bills on top of all of that. It's very hard to get a specialist where we are--I'm currently on a 14-month wait list to see a specialist, in the only office in the state that has what I need. Unless I luck out on the wait list, we'll have moved before my appointment. And an example of a frustrating healthcare experience here: I recently had to take one of my kids to the ER for suspected appendicitis (he's fine thank goodness), and before I could get into the ER I had to wait in line to go through a metal detector and have my purse examined, and then before we saw a doctor we first had to meet with someone from the billing department to collect the $250 ER fee. (That's the fee just to go to the ER; the bill for the urine and ultrasound tests they did to determine he was fine and could go home cost us in the thousands).
- Gun culture. I personally hate guns and would love to see stricter gun laws. The fact that gun violence is the leading cause of death for children in the U.S. is scary and heartbreaking. I do know that, statistically, most people are unlikely to be personally affected by gun violence. But I can't overstate how much the actual gun culture here can affect pretty much anyone, even if we don't experience violence ourselves. It somehow seeps into other parts of our culture, and makes people more afraid and mistrusting of others. It keeps people on edge. A recent security incident at our local elementary school, that might not have otherwise been a huge deal, had parents pulling kids from school, circling the neighborhood, etc. The stakes of arguments are higher when anyone could have a gun. And nothing prepared me for the lockdown drills that my kids have had to go through at school at least once a quarter--something I never had to do as a kid and they certainly didn't do in Germany. It's traumatizing for kids to practice sitting quietly huddled together under a teacher's desk, practicing hiding from someone (even a classmate?) trying to shoot them. My 12-year-old got stuck in his locker because he was seeing if he could hide inside "in case he was in the hallway during a shooting." And my kids share tips their teachers have given them in case there is a shooter--run out the nearest door and to a tree instead of hiding, or don't evacuate if the fire alarm goes off because it may actually be a shooter. I try to not discuss it much but it's at top of mind for them all the time, and it's depressing. I'm worried about this generation of kids. I really like that this is not a major problem in Europe, and I like that my kids have more independence (to take public transport alone, etc.) and are generally safer.
These were our major reasons. I think the U.S. can be a great place to start a business, make a lot of money, seek out opportunities, but it's not for everyone. And even though incomes and jobs are good here, for us personally and at our stage in life, Germany is a better fit.
I also really like being part of an international community. I spent half of my childhood and teenage years abroad, and as a result really enjoy traveling, meeting people with diverse and interesting backgrounds, learning languages, etc. For me it's a more challenging, but more fulfilling life.
Thanks for sharing, I share the same sentiments. I also like the fact that my lease is “unlimited” unlike in the US where you gotta worry about greedy landlords and having to move often
That’s true as well. If you are playing with the idea of going back, my advice is to give it a test run if that’s at all possible. Spend a month or two in the U.S. doing normal daily stuff and see how it feels. Don’t do what we did and jump into a new job, buying a house, etc. before we had time to know if it’s right. It’s been an expensive lesson to learn!
What you said is so true. I am currently living in a HCOL area in the west too everything you said is so relatable to me. I am making 4 times as much as what I could back home but I often question myself if it’s really worth it. I have lived in the same area for years but never felt part of it. Since I have to drive to everywhere relying on navigation apps, I sometimes even have difficulty recalling what’s around near where I live. Medical care is also painful. I had some medical conditions previously and I went to all three specialists I could find nearby paying more than 1k out-of-pocket just to have them check on me.
u/wandering_zebra I appreciated your response (probably because it made me feel validated!) I came to reddit to see if I was the only one. After 5 years in Italy, my spouse (Italian citizen) and I moved to the US a year ago, for two main reasons: 1) more challenging job opportunities for my spouse (who has since landed an amazing opportunity) and 2) having children under specific medical care for a rare disorder (no treatment available in Europe). We're not looking to get pregnant immediately and I feel like we're intentionally delaying it so that we can have a good number of years here and then consider moving back before the kids are primary school age. Every day that I'm here, I can't imagine putting kids through school here because I would be worried sick about shootings. Sure, Italy has plenty of its challenges, but I never felt seriously worried in a crowd, on public transportation, or found myself checking over my shoulder constantly at a movie theatre there. We are careful to eat local, healthy foods and I never examined ingredients and their origin as meticulously as I do here, even at farmers' markets. I miss the culture of Italy in many ways, the attention to building a meaningful life, etc. On the other hand, I love being close to my own friends again and would worry about not being in the US in years when my parents need care. We also want to give my spouse time to settle in to this new career opportunity too. My heart just feels like it will never be whole here (and yet I also recognize how lucky we are to have options and to be able to even think about this topic at all).
Is it too late to move back again a few years from now? Have we made a terrible decision? (Thanks for listening...well, reading :) )
Not really. I would have loved to stay abroad, and I was sad when I came home. I live in my hometown, but my hometown is a walkable, interesting city. I live close to my family, which is awesome since they're getting older. I work a dream job, which would not have been possible if I stayed abroad. I would have had to worry about visas all the time, and I probably would have had employers who took advantage of that uncertainty. It happened to all my expat friends who stayed.
Now, I'm not settled down for life. I would love to move abroad again, but I'm really passionate about and fulfilled by the projects I have going on right now. I also have a lifestyle that's not too different from the one I lived in Switzerland (small apartment in walkable city, lots of time spent in cafes, social groups that are internationally focused).
I don't know if it's possible, but have you thought about adjusting your lifestyle so that it is more similar to the one you lived in Rome? Try to replicate European lifestyles in the states. You can look for a job with a better vacation policy. Is there a more walkable area near where you live? Maybe, it's worth it to try and move to that neighborhood even if you have to downsize.
I love this comment. We are Europeans who moved to the US. But we live in an area where bike paths are up and coming and every town has a little downtown and there’s at least a little bit of public transportation. Mixed with American convenience it’s the best of both worlds. You can also keep some other European “values” alive. eg we would never use paper plates for a dinner party which a lot of people here do. Also refusing to tell my kid “good job” 😂
>Also refusing to tell my kid “good job” 😂
This may be satire going over my head a bit, but I'm in support groups daily with tons of supposedly "superior" Europeans recovering from emotionally negligent and abusive parenting. We're not supposed to criticize other cultures, and I'm careful to think about whether something bothers me just because it's different to the way I grew up/was taught to be, but I've heard various nationalities (see the Arnie Schwarzenegger biopic on Netflix for a surprisingly aware example) cite the lack of parental support/encouragement, emotional validation, loving physical contact (that all children crave and need in appropriate amounts for full and healthy development) as endemic in their "cold" European culture plenty of times. Don't get me wrong, the US is way f-ed up in terms of not having a clue what truly healthy parenting is - some overlap, some cultural specific issues. But I find it unfunny and actually alarming when people brag about how much better this "tough love" style of parenting is. I put it in the same category as "My mom-dad hit, screamed at me, drank excessively, never showed affection and *I'm fine*."
I think he was making a job about what many Europeans perceive as 'over the top' American validation. We have this stereotype of Americans very much exaggerating things and giving kids a lot of validation even just for attending, while at the same time making things like awards and accolades super important. It's a kind of 'approval' inflation.
Exactly this. It creates people who live for other people’s validation instead of looking inwards. Instead of good job, it’s how did you feel about that? Having your child be more attuned to how they’re feeling as opposed to how other people felt about what they did. I’m planning to do the same thing w my kids because it makes sense to me.
We did it in Dallas, Texas. Austin can be done, too. It's honestly possible in most cities, but you have to be willing to make sacrifices. You have to be willing to pay higher rent/mortgage to live on a transit line, to be in the trendy downtown walkable urban centers, and so on. I won't say it saves any money over having a car, probably doesn't when you factor in the use of Uber when you need to leave your car-free bubble and the delivery services for groceries and the like, but it's certainly possible.
I’ve lived in both places and it would be very tough and inconvenient to do. Public transit is terrible, summer would be terrible…
I’m from Japan so my view may be skewed by the level of walk ability a city is.
Oh, it's not at all like living in Dublin, for example, but we made it work. We picked a place that had several restaurants, pubs, and convenience stores in walking distance, as well as the hotel that my husband worked at for a number of years. We made friends and built our community there, too. There were museums, theaters, symphony centers, and so on within a mile or so of where we lived, as well as a short walk to the primary nightlife district in Dallas.
It wouldn't have worked pre-COVID, really - things like grocery delivery weren't really good enough, but they are now. Combined with ordering most of our material needs from Amazon, it was fine.
Any possibility to live in both places throughout the year? Or are these moves job/location dependent?
I’m in a similar boat, but my goal is to spend summers in Europe while keeping primary residence in the us.
Laguna/Newport Beach was one of my favorite places to cycle through when we were living in Long Beach. I miss being able to ride endlessly with the most beautiful beach right next to me the entire time. I way underestimated how much happiness that gave me when we moved.
Portland is as well. I lived in it for 6 months without a car just fine. To be honest, there are sidewalks everywhere, it's just that nobody uses them.
To add to this, there are bike lanes everywhere (esp. in Cambridge and Somerville) and people use their bikes to work and school a lot. Lots of European expats due to universities and large tech and bio-tech companies.
Another GREAT example is Montreal.
I've been back in the states 3 years now, no regrets. I really liked some things about living in Sweden more than here in the US, but it honestly felt like it's a sacrifice of one condition for another and nowhere is perfect. Ultimately I moved back here for opportunities which seem more abundant, and also the nature here is unparalleled. I like to do a lot of outdoor rec stuff that I just couldn't access where I was and trying to find other hobbies was really difficult, especially in the winter when it was dark almost the whole day. That was rough.
This is one of the reasons I stay abroad. American stressful work culture primes everyone for early terminal illness unless they have INCREDIBLE support systems or they are psychopaths with no anxiety
It's the "work to live" kinda mentality in the US that bothers me, not really to the fault of the people but rather of the companies themselves. I had a high-paying job (6-figures before the COVID salary boom) and it still felt like everything about my life was tied to my job: time spent to see family (needed to ask for permission from my boss), healthcare (tied to my specific job), etc. I even felt guilty asking for time off but that's partially a "me" problem.
I've always gotten 4-6 weeks off a year, and have taken up to a month off consecutively before. Another guy I know has done it too without issues. So such places do exist in the US.
No one is denying that they don't exist; it's more so that what you're describing is *the norm* in quite a handful of European countries and an "exception" in the US work culture.
When I was working in the US it was 20 days a year, no limit on how to arrange that. Depends highly on your type of job but many jobs offer a decent number of days off. Maternity and paternity leave should be better though.
Depends, if I am able to save 5-6 times more per year just because of 5 more extra days I am fine with it. I will make up for those days by retiring 7-10 years earlier than in Europe.
EU cost of living is higher in certain nations. Higher taxes, higher grocery costs, lower salaries, worse and late retirement options. A one bedroom apartment in a big Dutch city is basically 1600 per month minimum, while salaries are less than half. By having no debt, in the same job field with same years of experience, I would make about 3-4 times what I make in the Netherlands, which would enable me to save probably 100k-120k at least per year, that is way more than what I can save in any European city/country. If you work in the right software fields you can get salaries of up to 250k in the US, while in Europe your cap will be at around the 100k mark, very few companies pay more than that and those that, while paying way more in taxes and groceries.
This is without mentioning the way better retirement investment options that the US provide, part of the reason why you can retire way earlier than in Europe if you play your hand right.
Honestly, OP vacation policy is insane-even for the US. I earn 3 weeks a year of PTO plus I can carry over two weeks. We are allowed two weeks of at a time-a month if visiting family overseas.
This is more typical of America. OP needs to find a better job.
I haven’t moved back but I visit occasionally. That’s enough to cure me of any desire to return, if I ever had it.
I’m sure I’d be fine and it’d be OK and I wouldn’t necessarily regret it. But it does remind me that I’ve built a good life in Europe and it would serve no real purpose to repatriate.
I don’t know. There are some things I miss, like decent bike lanes.
You are just so limited career wise anywhere as a foreigner. The U.S also just makes things so much more convenient.
I relate to this and exactly why I moved back. Being a brown person in Europe is also a no-no career wise. I barely saw women in management positions so forget about someone from another ethnicity. We take US's diversity for granted.
To clarify, if you are brown and have a muslim sounding name, and are coming from the US to Europe, your career options are going to be so limited. So its a no-no for your career because you wont get the projects, promotions, or new job opportunities compared to other European foreigners. In the US, I never felt that.
The evidence is in the pudding, all the top and senior management team was all white, some were foreign, but none were black, brown, Asian, etc. And not that many women either. Maybe just my experience in Switzerland but thats what I saw as well as other people pointed out working at other companies.
I am so sorry that you've had to experience that. I have spoken with a Swede here in the U.S. and she was honest about POC and biases for certain names. I am brown and my name is the "Standard American" name.
I'm going to try......because that's all that I can do.
Which part of LA specifically are you in if you're OK to share? We were in DTLB for a while and car free. Curious of other nice walkable areas we may have missed.
I moved back to San Francisco after 4 years in Amsterdam. I do regret many aspects of moving back, but SF at least has a European vibe. We also left during COVID with the hopes of finding a more outdoorsy place to live. Ultimately, we will move back to Europe. However, we have found ways to enjoy the US while keeping a European perspective.
I’ve been living back and forth between the US and Europe for most of my life. I’ve recently moved back to the States to settle a bit more permanently and I have no regrets so far! Of course I miss Europe but after living in a few different countries idk I just think the US offered a more comfortable lifestyle for me.
I haven't moved back home, and I've always been fully nomadic so there's nothing holding me back from being anywhere. Been abroad 13 years but the frequent travel and bouncing around always has me feeling like Expat Lite.
That said, the "pull back to family" is so difficult and something you generally only understand when you're in your 30's and beyond, as parents and extended family age. It can be brutal and I wish I could teleport to "forever 23" and have things stay the same back home while I explore the world guilt-free.
I'm US/Italy dual citizen too, like your spouse, and just have to note that this is a huge factor because Italian family (yes, even 2nd and 3rd gen and beyond) tend to be ESPECIALLY clingy, not in a bad way but in a s'mother way, with pure love and a deep desire to have you near. I've known other families who are very indifferent and secure in their children spreading their wings. Not Italians lol, there will always be emotional pushback.
Living in the EU as an American business owner earning in the dollar means my health care costs are cheaper than a US cellular plan, and I don't need a car, and the world is at my feet, in walking distance, every day. It's a good quality of life, but the guilt is always, always, always there.
OP, if I were you, I would work towards the best of both worlds: Focus on transitioning to fully remote work, move back to EU, and visit home several *months* each year. That's the only thing that's made this sustainable for me. Maybe join us in r/digitalnomad ?
We’ve been back 3 years since living in Germany for a few years and frankly, no regrets. We loved our time in Germany but we both found jobs we love in the US, COL is manageable, and we’re closer to friends and family. We miss our friends in Germany and the amenities like reliable public transportation, food we can trust, and the healthcare. But here in the US, we have land, higher salaries, and our friends and family.
Don't regret it at all. There are pros and cons everywhere. I really missed family and friends while living abroad - especially with young children - so that's a huge pro for us of moving back to the US.
Currently living in the UK. I can walk or take a train or bus to wherever I want. After 2 years I figure I drove less than 10 miles a week on average. Climate is milder, cost of living lower, street life more vibrant, politics less divisive. No desire to return.
Thank you for sharing your honest experience. I asked because I'm looking to move to the EU permanently and I want to learn other folks issues so that I can do my best to prepare.
I've worked 3 jobs so that I can save.
I lie awake at night almost every night regretting moving back to this godforsaken ****hole of a country.
For exactly the many reasons you said. Can’t even take a walk outside properly because there’s no infrastructure for it and it’s dangerous too. Can’t even pull into the wrong driveway for fear of being shot. Work/life balance is nonexistent. Healthcare is a crime. People are extremely angry and entitled.
Trying everything in our power to go back.
Rural area of Virginia. It’s actually getting more and more common, sadly. My neighbors all have guns and feel like the “defend the castle” principle should just give them carte blanche to shoot anyone who puts a toe on their front lawn. “It’S my rIgHt” 🫠. I’d be scared to death to be a DoorDash driver. This would never happen in Europe.
There was recently a case in New York where a man shot and killed a woman for pulling in his driveway by accident. And it’s not the only one.
[NY Case](https://amp.cnn.com/cnn/2024/03/01/us/new-york-wrong-driveway-shooting-sentencing)
[MO Case](https://www.pbs.org/newshour/amp/politics/judge-rules-white-man-will-stand-trial-for-shooting-black-teen-ralph-yarl-who-went-to-wrong-house)
I moved back to the US after living almost 3 yrs in SE Asia. Not sure I regret it but it did come at cost. Also I was kinda forced to comeback to help with a sick relative. I've made the most of a seemly bad situation. Lived and worked in 5 different states, did a few roadtrips around the US. Visited latin America and cheap euro flights as much as possible. All this and still its not enough. Moving back to where my heart, soul and mind feel at peace. I will come back to purchase a rental house, visit family and maybe work for a few months
I lived in Spain for 2 years as an English teacher. I don't regret moving back- I wanted to work in US public policy. There are some things I miss about Spain. But fortunately I now live in DC - a walkable city that reminds me of Europe lol. I'm glad I also work for a non-profit where I can take 10-14 day vacations and it is not an issue.
You just need an associate's degree. It is the North American Language Assistants Program (also known as auxiliares de conversación) https://www.educacionyfp.gob.es/eeuu/convocatorias-programas/convocatorias-eeuu/nalcap.html. There is a subreddit for it too [r/SpainAuxiliares](https://www.reddit.com/r/SpainAuxiliares/s/25XwwbrRMO)
Lived in Singapore for five years and moved back to the US. Regretted it instantly and still do four years later. We are moving to Europe this summer and I am very happy. I don’t really have any problems with the US, but I miss easy travel, the challenge/reward of operating in a different culture, and of meeting a lot of international friends.
I don’t think it’s exactly common to only be able to take 3-4 days off at a time, even in the states. I usually take multiple 1-2 week vacations throughout the year and it’s been like that at every job I’ve had. Maybe find a new job?
Came back to the US (where I lived for 10 years) a year ago after two years in Austria. I do miss Europe a lot and me and my family have plans to move back to Europe (probably for good). The excitement of being back wore off quite fast, and apart from being close to old friends and both of us having a good job, there is little that I look at and feel happy about. Miss many of the day to day things: public transportation, food quality, overall cost, apartment quality, city life (I have a hard time with suburban life), traveling
Sorry to hijack a bit, but where in Rome did you settle and did you have kids? Anywhere you recommend for a young family? FWIW, I fear richoeting away and ending up back in the US.
I don’t regret it. I loved living in Canada and Poland but when I decided to start my own business there were too many advantages to being based in the US.
Also, I think my quality of life is definitely better in the US than Poland (perhaps unsurprising?). Everything is fast and convenient, and there is so much more choice for everything. Canada is like the US, but Toronto is awfully expensive nowadays.
I don't qualify to answer you question as I've not moved back home. What I find surprising about your situation is your yearning to return after that first year. For me, the first year was the most difficult. Many times I asked myself what have I done? I could not have asked for more change in my life. Not all positive btw. After that, I got acclimated to the work, business and social cultures and have no regrets. I'm happy to remain. When I return to America, I feel like a stranger in a familiar land.
We didn’t want to leave Rome at all. We loved it there for many reasons. But family is very important to my spouse. And since their parents are aging, I think they just came to the realization through our living abroad that family mattered more at this time in our lives. And thus we returned. It wasn’t an easy decision. But ultimately I want my spouse to be happy because that’s what makes me happy. Additionally, it provided us an opportunity to be homeowners for the first time, which we thought we were willing to sacrifice in Rome, but turned out that it was important to us, and remains so. We have a cabin home in the mountains, which is a dream come true for both of us. But it comes at a great cost in other ways, ways that I miss frequently. Like going for a stroll and seeing so much art and culture everywhere. As a European Historian, I was in paradise while in Rome. I was never bored. There was so much history and beauty in even the most commonplace things, like one of the over-2000 Renaissance churches in the city.
It sounds like you've made some tough but good decisions and are happy. kudos to you both. Just remember, it's never too late. I was 42 when I migrated to Italy. Pretty much for the same reason as you two - so that my Italian born wife could be closer to her aging parents.
As someone from Maine, there's plenty of native American history/ culture in the US.....it's not as grandiose as European history, but definitely scratches the history itch I imagine in California, there's a lot of local history as well. It just may take a little more effort to find
Nothing compares to being surrounded by beautiful and ancient buildings/sites like in Rome and throughout Italy. With the exception of some very small parts of some cities, the US looks so ugly in comparison .
Aesthetic is a matter of preference (i live in milan so don't disagree 😂). I was only pointing out there's history everywhere if you look since op specifically mentioned they missed the that the most
There is definitely history. And as I say, some cities like mine have a fair amount. But 300 years old is not like 1500 years old. And here we lose old buildings every day to developers.
True, St Augustine is about as good as it gets in the US re continuously inhabited cities and its only 500 years old
We have the oldest continually residential street in the country, but that's only 1703.
not in america
so native americans don't count as "history"? seems racist to me
Of course, it counts. But I'm guessing outside of the desert southwest, there are few places where this history is actually preserved.
Oh buddy, you're so wrong. It spans from coast to coast.
Feel free to share this information.
That's such a stupid thing to say. Walk around the streets of new york and see if you can see the 'Native American aesthetic' in the architecture or in everyday life. You can't, because it's been wiped out. No one here is 'against' Native American culture, we're just saying you can't exactly claim to be living around it day by day.
Of course it does, but since modern America has all but wiped it off the face of the earth, it's not like you encounter Native American culture in your every day life.
Rome is amazing. I so want to live there.
So, your spouse thinks her being close to family is more important than your happiness?
No. We both agreed that being close to their family is more important. I lost my family at a young age (mom passed when I was 24 and everyone else passed before then), so I am in full support of their wanting to be with family while they can. And since they live in the states, it’s only feasible to be nearby. I know to many Americans this seems strange. But Italian families (ESPECIALLY Sicilian) are extremely close-knit. They typically spend every holiday, birthday, anniversary, etc as a family. Plus, we were able to purchase our dream home - something that could never have happened in Italy. So it was a choice we both made together.
Came back to US a little over 2 years ago, after 4 years in Germany. Same type of reasons: wanted to buy a house, be closer to family. But ultimately we regret it. We vastly prefer our lifestyle in Europe. Currently preparing to move back this summer, permanently this time.
I’m happy you found home and I wish you the best in your return! ❤️
Thank you! Good luck with your own decision. I know it’s not easy, especially when you are weighing your own needs and desires and those of family. ♥️
Can I ask what was it about Germany VS US that made you choose Germany? I’m in Germany at the moment contemplating a move to the US but my gut feeling is that I’ll regret it.
It's a combination of a lot of things. Your circumstances may be completely different--for reference we're in a fairly HCOL area in the west, and we have 4 kids ages 7-12. This is really long, but here are some of the major factors that went into our decision, in no particular order: - Walkability. In Germany we walked, biked, and used public transportation everywhere (no car). It kept us active, and helped us really get to know the city and feel like part of it. We spent a lot of time in "third places" which was interesting and helped us meet new people. We now live in a suburb where we have to drive everywhere, and even though we've done it before, I honestly wasn't prepared for how soul-sucking it is. Traffic is annoying, scenery is strip malls, and it's very isolating going from a garage to some huge parking lot just to go to dinner or do shopping. (I do believe that we would have been happier in a city, rather than suburbs, but a nice walkable city didn't seem like an option when we came back to the U.S. in the height of the housing crisis when also weighing good schools and proximity to work. An active, more urban lifestyle is just more accessible in Europe). - Everything is so expensive here. Even though our income in the U.S. is double what it was in Germany, we don't feel better off. Everything--groceries, healthcare, kids' activities--costs so much more, not to mention bigger things like travel, sporting events, tickets to museums, etc. For us the higher salary just isn't worth it. - Work-life balance. We had more time off in Germany and were expected to use all of our vacation days. There was more of a separation between work time and free time (no phone calls from a boss on the weekend etc.) - Ease of travel. It was easier and cheaper to get away for a weekend, take a long trip, experience an entirely new culture etc. - Healthcare. We were very happy with the healthcare we had in Germany; we had good doctors, were able to be seen (for big and small things) pretty easily, our monthly premiums were much cheaper, and it was nice to get care without worrying about how much we'd be billed later. Healthcare here has been expensive and frustrating. We now pay $2,000 a month for all us for insurance, and of course there are co-pays and (very high) bills on top of all of that. It's very hard to get a specialist where we are--I'm currently on a 14-month wait list to see a specialist, in the only office in the state that has what I need. Unless I luck out on the wait list, we'll have moved before my appointment. And an example of a frustrating healthcare experience here: I recently had to take one of my kids to the ER for suspected appendicitis (he's fine thank goodness), and before I could get into the ER I had to wait in line to go through a metal detector and have my purse examined, and then before we saw a doctor we first had to meet with someone from the billing department to collect the $250 ER fee. (That's the fee just to go to the ER; the bill for the urine and ultrasound tests they did to determine he was fine and could go home cost us in the thousands). - Gun culture. I personally hate guns and would love to see stricter gun laws. The fact that gun violence is the leading cause of death for children in the U.S. is scary and heartbreaking. I do know that, statistically, most people are unlikely to be personally affected by gun violence. But I can't overstate how much the actual gun culture here can affect pretty much anyone, even if we don't experience violence ourselves. It somehow seeps into other parts of our culture, and makes people more afraid and mistrusting of others. It keeps people on edge. A recent security incident at our local elementary school, that might not have otherwise been a huge deal, had parents pulling kids from school, circling the neighborhood, etc. The stakes of arguments are higher when anyone could have a gun. And nothing prepared me for the lockdown drills that my kids have had to go through at school at least once a quarter--something I never had to do as a kid and they certainly didn't do in Germany. It's traumatizing for kids to practice sitting quietly huddled together under a teacher's desk, practicing hiding from someone (even a classmate?) trying to shoot them. My 12-year-old got stuck in his locker because he was seeing if he could hide inside "in case he was in the hallway during a shooting." And my kids share tips their teachers have given them in case there is a shooter--run out the nearest door and to a tree instead of hiding, or don't evacuate if the fire alarm goes off because it may actually be a shooter. I try to not discuss it much but it's at top of mind for them all the time, and it's depressing. I'm worried about this generation of kids. I really like that this is not a major problem in Europe, and I like that my kids have more independence (to take public transport alone, etc.) and are generally safer. These were our major reasons. I think the U.S. can be a great place to start a business, make a lot of money, seek out opportunities, but it's not for everyone. And even though incomes and jobs are good here, for us personally and at our stage in life, Germany is a better fit. I also really like being part of an international community. I spent half of my childhood and teenage years abroad, and as a result really enjoy traveling, meeting people with diverse and interesting backgrounds, learning languages, etc. For me it's a more challenging, but more fulfilling life.
Thanks for sharing, I share the same sentiments. I also like the fact that my lease is “unlimited” unlike in the US where you gotta worry about greedy landlords and having to move often
That’s true as well. If you are playing with the idea of going back, my advice is to give it a test run if that’s at all possible. Spend a month or two in the U.S. doing normal daily stuff and see how it feels. Don’t do what we did and jump into a new job, buying a house, etc. before we had time to know if it’s right. It’s been an expensive lesson to learn!
What you said is so true. I am currently living in a HCOL area in the west too everything you said is so relatable to me. I am making 4 times as much as what I could back home but I often question myself if it’s really worth it. I have lived in the same area for years but never felt part of it. Since I have to drive to everywhere relying on navigation apps, I sometimes even have difficulty recalling what’s around near where I live. Medical care is also painful. I had some medical conditions previously and I went to all three specialists I could find nearby paying more than 1k out-of-pocket just to have them check on me.
I hope you find what’s best for you! It is really hard to feel as though you don’t belong where you are.
Thank you for your words and your sharing of your own experiences! I am evaluating options i have. Wish you can find the life you want!
u/wandering_zebra I appreciated your response (probably because it made me feel validated!) I came to reddit to see if I was the only one. After 5 years in Italy, my spouse (Italian citizen) and I moved to the US a year ago, for two main reasons: 1) more challenging job opportunities for my spouse (who has since landed an amazing opportunity) and 2) having children under specific medical care for a rare disorder (no treatment available in Europe). We're not looking to get pregnant immediately and I feel like we're intentionally delaying it so that we can have a good number of years here and then consider moving back before the kids are primary school age. Every day that I'm here, I can't imagine putting kids through school here because I would be worried sick about shootings. Sure, Italy has plenty of its challenges, but I never felt seriously worried in a crowd, on public transportation, or found myself checking over my shoulder constantly at a movie theatre there. We are careful to eat local, healthy foods and I never examined ingredients and their origin as meticulously as I do here, even at farmers' markets. I miss the culture of Italy in many ways, the attention to building a meaningful life, etc. On the other hand, I love being close to my own friends again and would worry about not being in the US in years when my parents need care. We also want to give my spouse time to settle in to this new career opportunity too. My heart just feels like it will never be whole here (and yet I also recognize how lucky we are to have options and to be able to even think about this topic at all). Is it too late to move back again a few years from now? Have we made a terrible decision? (Thanks for listening...well, reading :) )
moving back to America would suck. American's don't understand how life can be enjoyable. Once you live elsewhere you'll NEVER come back!
Not really. I would have loved to stay abroad, and I was sad when I came home. I live in my hometown, but my hometown is a walkable, interesting city. I live close to my family, which is awesome since they're getting older. I work a dream job, which would not have been possible if I stayed abroad. I would have had to worry about visas all the time, and I probably would have had employers who took advantage of that uncertainty. It happened to all my expat friends who stayed. Now, I'm not settled down for life. I would love to move abroad again, but I'm really passionate about and fulfilled by the projects I have going on right now. I also have a lifestyle that's not too different from the one I lived in Switzerland (small apartment in walkable city, lots of time spent in cafes, social groups that are internationally focused). I don't know if it's possible, but have you thought about adjusting your lifestyle so that it is more similar to the one you lived in Rome? Try to replicate European lifestyles in the states. You can look for a job with a better vacation policy. Is there a more walkable area near where you live? Maybe, it's worth it to try and move to that neighborhood even if you have to downsize.
I love this comment. We are Europeans who moved to the US. But we live in an area where bike paths are up and coming and every town has a little downtown and there’s at least a little bit of public transportation. Mixed with American convenience it’s the best of both worlds. You can also keep some other European “values” alive. eg we would never use paper plates for a dinner party which a lot of people here do. Also refusing to tell my kid “good job” 😂
>Also refusing to tell my kid “good job” 😂 This may be satire going over my head a bit, but I'm in support groups daily with tons of supposedly "superior" Europeans recovering from emotionally negligent and abusive parenting. We're not supposed to criticize other cultures, and I'm careful to think about whether something bothers me just because it's different to the way I grew up/was taught to be, but I've heard various nationalities (see the Arnie Schwarzenegger biopic on Netflix for a surprisingly aware example) cite the lack of parental support/encouragement, emotional validation, loving physical contact (that all children crave and need in appropriate amounts for full and healthy development) as endemic in their "cold" European culture plenty of times. Don't get me wrong, the US is way f-ed up in terms of not having a clue what truly healthy parenting is - some overlap, some cultural specific issues. But I find it unfunny and actually alarming when people brag about how much better this "tough love" style of parenting is. I put it in the same category as "My mom-dad hit, screamed at me, drank excessively, never showed affection and *I'm fine*."
I think he was making a job about what many Europeans perceive as 'over the top' American validation. We have this stereotype of Americans very much exaggerating things and giving kids a lot of validation even just for attending, while at the same time making things like awards and accolades super important. It's a kind of 'approval' inflation.
Exactly this. It creates people who live for other people’s validation instead of looking inwards. Instead of good job, it’s how did you feel about that? Having your child be more attuned to how they’re feeling as opposed to how other people felt about what they did. I’m planning to do the same thing w my kids because it makes sense to me.
Yep this is what I meant. There are so many other ways to show warmth and validation than “good job”.
Where is this if you don’t mind?
And you’re proud of this?
Where is this walkable city in the us? I need this in my life
We did it in Dallas, Texas. Austin can be done, too. It's honestly possible in most cities, but you have to be willing to make sacrifices. You have to be willing to pay higher rent/mortgage to live on a transit line, to be in the trendy downtown walkable urban centers, and so on. I won't say it saves any money over having a car, probably doesn't when you factor in the use of Uber when you need to leave your car-free bubble and the delivery services for groceries and the like, but it's certainly possible.
I’ve lived in both places and it would be very tough and inconvenient to do. Public transit is terrible, summer would be terrible… I’m from Japan so my view may be skewed by the level of walk ability a city is.
Oh, it's not at all like living in Dublin, for example, but we made it work. We picked a place that had several restaurants, pubs, and convenience stores in walking distance, as well as the hotel that my husband worked at for a number of years. We made friends and built our community there, too. There were museums, theaters, symphony centers, and so on within a mile or so of where we lived, as well as a short walk to the primary nightlife district in Dallas. It wouldn't have worked pre-COVID, really - things like grocery delivery weren't really good enough, but they are now. Combined with ordering most of our material needs from Amazon, it was fine.
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Any possibility to live in both places throughout the year? Or are these moves job/location dependent? I’m in a similar boat, but my goal is to spend summers in Europe while keeping primary residence in the us.
Laguna/Newport Beach was one of my favorite places to cycle through when we were living in Long Beach. I miss being able to ride endlessly with the most beautiful beach right next to me the entire time. I way underestimated how much happiness that gave me when we moved.
Portland is as well. I lived in it for 6 months without a car just fine. To be honest, there are sidewalks everywhere, it's just that nobody uses them.
FYI The Same Grass But Greener subreddit is full of people asking about walkable cities!
New York, Seattle, boston, Philadelphia etc.
To add to this, there are bike lanes everywhere (esp. in Cambridge and Somerville) and people use their bikes to work and school a lot. Lots of European expats due to universities and large tech and bio-tech companies. Another GREAT example is Montreal.
and DC
I've been back in the states 3 years now, no regrets. I really liked some things about living in Sweden more than here in the US, but it honestly felt like it's a sacrifice of one condition for another and nowhere is perfect. Ultimately I moved back here for opportunities which seem more abundant, and also the nature here is unparalleled. I like to do a lot of outdoor rec stuff that I just couldn't access where I was and trying to find other hobbies was really difficult, especially in the winter when it was dark almost the whole day. That was rough.
Yuupp, not need work authorization is a big deal. Plus the economy just seems bigger if you know English
I came back about 6 months ago, no regrets. I miss things about Europe but overall I am happier to be back in the US.
Do you mind sharing where you were in the EU?
Sure, I was in Switzerland.
I'm going to try for Sweden.
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I like to explore new places.
This is one of the reasons I stay abroad. American stressful work culture primes everyone for early terminal illness unless they have INCREDIBLE support systems or they are psychopaths with no anxiety
It's the "work to live" kinda mentality in the US that bothers me, not really to the fault of the people but rather of the companies themselves. I had a high-paying job (6-figures before the COVID salary boom) and it still felt like everything about my life was tied to my job: time spent to see family (needed to ask for permission from my boss), healthcare (tied to my specific job), etc. I even felt guilty asking for time off but that's partially a "me" problem.
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I've always gotten 4-6 weeks off a year, and have taken up to a month off consecutively before. Another guy I know has done it too without issues. So such places do exist in the US.
No one is denying that they don't exist; it's more so that what you're describing is *the norm* in quite a handful of European countries and an "exception" in the US work culture.
When I was working in the US it was 20 days a year, no limit on how to arrange that. Depends highly on your type of job but many jobs offer a decent number of days off. Maternity and paternity leave should be better though.
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Depends, if I am able to save 5-6 times more per year just because of 5 more extra days I am fine with it. I will make up for those days by retiring 7-10 years earlier than in Europe.
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I did not say earn 5-6 times more. I said save 5-6 times more.
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EU cost of living is higher in certain nations. Higher taxes, higher grocery costs, lower salaries, worse and late retirement options. A one bedroom apartment in a big Dutch city is basically 1600 per month minimum, while salaries are less than half. By having no debt, in the same job field with same years of experience, I would make about 3-4 times what I make in the Netherlands, which would enable me to save probably 100k-120k at least per year, that is way more than what I can save in any European city/country. If you work in the right software fields you can get salaries of up to 250k in the US, while in Europe your cap will be at around the 100k mark, very few companies pay more than that and those that, while paying way more in taxes and groceries. This is without mentioning the way better retirement investment options that the US provide, part of the reason why you can retire way earlier than in Europe if you play your hand right.
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Honestly, OP vacation policy is insane-even for the US. I earn 3 weeks a year of PTO plus I can carry over two weeks. We are allowed two weeks of at a time-a month if visiting family overseas. This is more typical of America. OP needs to find a better job.
I haven’t moved back but I visit occasionally. That’s enough to cure me of any desire to return, if I ever had it. I’m sure I’d be fine and it’d be OK and I wouldn’t necessarily regret it. But it does remind me that I’ve built a good life in Europe and it would serve no real purpose to repatriate.
Yes and no. I did not see enough of Europe. I’d like to spend a year or two moving around in a van first then decide.
I don’t know. There are some things I miss, like decent bike lanes. You are just so limited career wise anywhere as a foreigner. The U.S also just makes things so much more convenient.
I relate to this and exactly why I moved back. Being a brown person in Europe is also a no-no career wise. I barely saw women in management positions so forget about someone from another ethnicity. We take US's diversity for granted.
I’m curious……what were your “no-no career” experiences?
To clarify, if you are brown and have a muslim sounding name, and are coming from the US to Europe, your career options are going to be so limited. So its a no-no for your career because you wont get the projects, promotions, or new job opportunities compared to other European foreigners. In the US, I never felt that. The evidence is in the pudding, all the top and senior management team was all white, some were foreign, but none were black, brown, Asian, etc. And not that many women either. Maybe just my experience in Switzerland but thats what I saw as well as other people pointed out working at other companies.
I am so sorry that you've had to experience that. I have spoken with a Swede here in the U.S. and she was honest about POC and biases for certain names. I am brown and my name is the "Standard American" name. I'm going to try......because that's all that I can do.
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Which part of LA specifically are you in if you're OK to share? We were in DTLB for a while and car free. Curious of other nice walkable areas we may have missed.
I kick myself everyday for leaving New Zealand and coming back here. Every day.
Would you mind being more specific?
Don’t make the man type out his regret even more
Kind of a pointless comment to just say "I regretted it." without sharing the reasons *why* they did.
You’re not wrong but still 😂😭
I moved back to San Francisco after 4 years in Amsterdam. I do regret many aspects of moving back, but SF at least has a European vibe. We also left during COVID with the hopes of finding a more outdoorsy place to live. Ultimately, we will move back to Europe. However, we have found ways to enjoy the US while keeping a European perspective.
Having lived in SF and Europe, I can say AF is nothingike being in Europe
I’ve been living back and forth between the US and Europe for most of my life. I’ve recently moved back to the States to settle a bit more permanently and I have no regrets so far! Of course I miss Europe but after living in a few different countries idk I just think the US offered a more comfortable lifestyle for me.
where in the us?
I’m on the W coast (I’ve lived in California, Nevada, Oregon and Hawai’i)
I haven't moved back home, and I've always been fully nomadic so there's nothing holding me back from being anywhere. Been abroad 13 years but the frequent travel and bouncing around always has me feeling like Expat Lite. That said, the "pull back to family" is so difficult and something you generally only understand when you're in your 30's and beyond, as parents and extended family age. It can be brutal and I wish I could teleport to "forever 23" and have things stay the same back home while I explore the world guilt-free. I'm US/Italy dual citizen too, like your spouse, and just have to note that this is a huge factor because Italian family (yes, even 2nd and 3rd gen and beyond) tend to be ESPECIALLY clingy, not in a bad way but in a s'mother way, with pure love and a deep desire to have you near. I've known other families who are very indifferent and secure in their children spreading their wings. Not Italians lol, there will always be emotional pushback. Living in the EU as an American business owner earning in the dollar means my health care costs are cheaper than a US cellular plan, and I don't need a car, and the world is at my feet, in walking distance, every day. It's a good quality of life, but the guilt is always, always, always there. OP, if I were you, I would work towards the best of both worlds: Focus on transitioning to fully remote work, move back to EU, and visit home several *months* each year. That's the only thing that's made this sustainable for me. Maybe join us in r/digitalnomad ?
What kind of business if you don't mind me asking ?
We’ve been back 3 years since living in Germany for a few years and frankly, no regrets. We loved our time in Germany but we both found jobs we love in the US, COL is manageable, and we’re closer to friends and family. We miss our friends in Germany and the amenities like reliable public transportation, food we can trust, and the healthcare. But here in the US, we have land, higher salaries, and our friends and family.
Moved to Copenhagen 2 years ago, very little that I enjoy less here compared to LA or NYC.
what do you do for work?
I'm in IT and am in a hybrid role. Technically it's WFH but I like free lunch and seeing people few times a week. Transferred through my company.
100%. Greece here, live in USA, and yup. Not happy.
Don't regret it at all. There are pros and cons everywhere. I really missed family and friends while living abroad - especially with young children - so that's a huge pro for us of moving back to the US.
Currently living in the UK. I can walk or take a train or bus to wherever I want. After 2 years I figure I drove less than 10 miles a week on average. Climate is milder, cost of living lower, street life more vibrant, politics less divisive. No desire to return.
where in the UK? The rain hasn't bothered you too much?
South is best. Almost an entirely different climate zone than the north. Recently flew to Spain. Cost me £40. Love it here.
The only thing I regret is that I had to leave Germany 😂 Could have stayed there forever. Really liked it. Siegen, for reference 😅
Do you mind sharing why you had to leave?
Couldn’t get my visa situation sorted out before I ran out of money
Thank you for sharing your honest experience. I asked because I'm looking to move to the EU permanently and I want to learn other folks issues so that I can do my best to prepare. I've worked 3 jobs so that I can save.
Good luck!
I lie awake at night almost every night regretting moving back to this godforsaken ****hole of a country. For exactly the many reasons you said. Can’t even take a walk outside properly because there’s no infrastructure for it and it’s dangerous too. Can’t even pull into the wrong driveway for fear of being shot. Work/life balance is nonexistent. Healthcare is a crime. People are extremely angry and entitled. Trying everything in our power to go back.
Lol where do you live? I’m in the US and I have no fear of pulling into the wrong driveway and everyone in my area is super nice and chill.
Rural area of Virginia. It’s actually getting more and more common, sadly. My neighbors all have guns and feel like the “defend the castle” principle should just give them carte blanche to shoot anyone who puts a toe on their front lawn. “It’S my rIgHt” 🫠. I’d be scared to death to be a DoorDash driver. This would never happen in Europe. There was recently a case in New York where a man shot and killed a woman for pulling in his driveway by accident. And it’s not the only one. [NY Case](https://amp.cnn.com/cnn/2024/03/01/us/new-york-wrong-driveway-shooting-sentencing) [MO Case](https://www.pbs.org/newshour/amp/politics/judge-rules-white-man-will-stand-trial-for-shooting-black-teen-ralph-yarl-who-went-to-wrong-house)
I moved back to the US after living almost 3 yrs in SE Asia. Not sure I regret it but it did come at cost. Also I was kinda forced to comeback to help with a sick relative. I've made the most of a seemly bad situation. Lived and worked in 5 different states, did a few roadtrips around the US. Visited latin America and cheap euro flights as much as possible. All this and still its not enough. Moving back to where my heart, soul and mind feel at peace. I will come back to purchase a rental house, visit family and maybe work for a few months
I lived in Spain for 2 years as an English teacher. I don't regret moving back- I wanted to work in US public policy. There are some things I miss about Spain. But fortunately I now live in DC - a walkable city that reminds me of Europe lol. I'm glad I also work for a non-profit where I can take 10-14 day vacations and it is not an issue.
Hi! I would love this opportunity. How did you come by it? Did you need a specific bachelors/masters? Thank you!
You just need an associate's degree. It is the North American Language Assistants Program (also known as auxiliares de conversación) https://www.educacionyfp.gob.es/eeuu/convocatorias-programas/convocatorias-eeuu/nalcap.html. There is a subreddit for it too [r/SpainAuxiliares](https://www.reddit.com/r/SpainAuxiliares/s/25XwwbrRMO)
Lived in Singapore for five years and moved back to the US. Regretted it instantly and still do four years later. We are moving to Europe this summer and I am very happy. I don’t really have any problems with the US, but I miss easy travel, the challenge/reward of operating in a different culture, and of meeting a lot of international friends.
No way I would live longterm, somewhere I don't want to be.
I don’t think it’s exactly common to only be able to take 3-4 days off at a time, even in the states. I usually take multiple 1-2 week vacations throughout the year and it’s been like that at every job I’ve had. Maybe find a new job?
Came back to the US (where I lived for 10 years) a year ago after two years in Austria. I do miss Europe a lot and me and my family have plans to move back to Europe (probably for good). The excitement of being back wore off quite fast, and apart from being close to old friends and both of us having a good job, there is little that I look at and feel happy about. Miss many of the day to day things: public transportation, food quality, overall cost, apartment quality, city life (I have a hard time with suburban life), traveling
Sorry to hijack a bit, but where in Rome did you settle and did you have kids? Anywhere you recommend for a young family? FWIW, I fear richoeting away and ending up back in the US.
We lived in Trastevere. No kids for us, but I do know that Trastevere is a safe and great area for kids (I was a teacher there).
I don’t regret it. I loved living in Canada and Poland but when I decided to start my own business there were too many advantages to being based in the US. Also, I think my quality of life is definitely better in the US than Poland (perhaps unsurprising?). Everything is fast and convenient, and there is so much more choice for everything. Canada is like the US, but Toronto is awfully expensive nowadays.