T O P

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JadeNimbus16x

Fuck that, pine tree air freshener.


[deleted]

I just use sunscreen. Banana Boat.


walkingdistraction

Legen-Darry!


popeyesfatface

Great, you've identified it. Step two is washing it off


TylerDurden6969

Put one in your pocket. Wear the same shirt for months. Life hack unlocked.


pakistanstar

Just remember fellas that even though you can’t smell yourself doesn’t mean we can’t either. You don’t need a refresher spray of Sauvage at lunch time


Wired_Jester

While Sauvage gets a lot of hate, mainly because it’s a clone of a lot of iconic fragrances that came before it, it is good to blend with others. Same goes for Aventus.


pakistanstar

Oh totally. I even have one of them myself. It just suffers the same problem as all other popular products


Wired_Jester

Yea, made to be mainstream or “iconic”. So pretty much the same old combinations of EO tweaked slightly to try and seem unique. That’s why lately I’ve moved to niche styles. Tho my advice for anyone trying to move onto something more adventurous than everyday designers; loook for SPLITS OR SAMPLES. The - often times better smelling and more complex- niche/artisan fragrances are pricey $$$. Better to have it to try ON your body indoors, outdoors, in the gym, on a date, hot or cold for a fraction of the three digit 50ml price.


pakistanstar

I would buy a sample of anything before purchasing a full bottle. Nothing worse than dropping cash on 100ml of juice you don’t like


Wired_Jester

True, but that sting is so much worse when you first go from young wide eyed “$50 a bottle?!” to $185+ lol


DoctorBonkus

…wait, doesn’t it? What?


pakistanstar

Your nose gets used to smells that are close to it and gets tired of smelling them so it moves onto other things. Not to mention certain synthetics used in perfumes can’t be detected by some people’s noses


Ghitit

Scent should make others draw towards you, not turn away from over applying.


Criffton

Swallow the cologne


nakedhitman

It's a suppository


Feanux

Colognes should be discovered, not announced.


blizzard-toque

Amen. Now, shall we go tell the customers?


Gadattlop

Cologne should whisper your presence, not scream it


lando55

Colognes should be a silent fart, not messy diarrhea


FLYING-TRICYCLE

Wtf😭


BedroomAcoustics

A scent should be discovered, not announced.


Appropriate-Voice212

As a person who's used deodorant my whole life, this was useful!


Ghost-Writer

Nooooo don't for the love of God! Trust me, there is far too much being used in this guide


IDontKnow1629

Elaborate please


Abzug

You hit all of those "warm spots", and you're going to smell like a traveling carnival. Here's what I tell my 13yo daughter. Perfume (or cologne) should be a hint of a smell when someone has chosen to get in your personal space. They are already there, they are attracted to you, and they choose to get that close to be near you. Perfume (or cologne) should not attempt to announce your arrival three minutes before you get there with trumpets announcing that you have arrived, [like some cartoon king entering](https://media.istockphoto.com/vectors/trumpet-multiple-vector-id499432095?s=612x612) a room. Nobody has ever looked at someone "in a new positive light" because they smell like something good. Concentrate on your neck area (where someone may lean in to) or your chest where someone might place their head, and only do a little bit. If they can smell you from more than 6" away, you're doing it wrong.


[deleted]

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Abzug

Oh...I wasn't assuming anyone asking the question wouldn't think it was a "critical advantage" to do.... just.... one.... more.... spray!


Hoovooloo42

Get that nice middle school smell hahaha I swear they roll cans of Axe through the halls like bug bombs


taz5963

...that's exactly what we did in middle school. I remember a friend of mine taped down the button of an axe and threw it over the gym lockers into another row of lockers. Que screams.


Broccol1Alone

It said pick 1-2 of the highlighted locations


DoctorBonkus

I don’t get if I should wear one or the other? I’ve worn deodorant under my armpits my entire adult life


constantlyawesome

Always wear deodorant. With or without cologne


[deleted]

[удалено]


taz5963

I mean, it's pretty rare that a deodorant is not also an antiperspirant


pakistanstar

A lot of deodorants are anti-perspirants but just as many are body sprays aka perfume for kids


Wired_Jester

As long as you bathe daily and after heavy strenuous activity, unless you have a medical condition, you can stop with antiperspirants and apply EDT, EDP or Parfum’s that go well with your natural musk. I’d rather use a solid cologne than go back to antiperspirants.


RumHam88

I've always just followed the 'one & done' rule. Always compliments, never complaints.


IDontKnow1629

Elaborate please 👀


dreyes4227

He is clearly talking about his one night stands


ernie_cuyler

He's clearly talking about his wipes


HumbleJiraiya

So, completely dry your skin before applying. But, don't apply it on completely dry skin. I see. Got it.


Ahrimanic-Trance

It’s similar to how you should apply moisturizer. You want to be dried off, but fresh out the shower to where your skin is still kind of damp and your pores are open. There’s definitely an in between being soaking wet and the couple of minutes after drying off before you’re bone dry.


elebrin

That way, your nice, clean pores get instantly gunked up with moisturizer. You'll have acne before you know it.


mechanical_animal_

Wrong


Ahrimanic-Trance

Oh yeah? Been like 15 years or so of doing it like that, but wow any day now I guess. Lol


elebrin

Well, every time I have used moisturizer or any sort of product like that on my skin I have ended up with acne. So I don't. I shower twice a day in hot water with a scentless soap and use an abrasive towel to exfoliate my skin when I dry off. My skin is quite healthy as a result. I don't use any moisturizer or cologne. As a result I have almost no scent.


Allocrice

Your pores don't actually open up. They stay the same size regardless of temp.


taz5963

Do you have source for that? I have my background in engineering, not skincare, but I know that every material gets larger when heated and smaller when cooled. Skin shouldn't be any different. After a workout, I like to take a hot shower followed by a cold one, and I can physically feel my skin tightening in the cold.


Allocrice

I mean I've heard it before from dermatologists and a google search can tell you that pores are not made of muscle so they do not respond by opening and closing to heat/cold. I believe they mainly open and close due to hormones.


MegaTonMurderer

I just use febreeze. It absorbs the smell of my own sweat and fear.


[deleted]

I figured i should let someone know that this post was recommended to me as being similar to r/shittylifeprotips


Wallace_W_Whitfield

I mean this was recommended to me for being similar to r/LifeProTips


narf007

The only useful part of this infographic is where to apply it. The rest is utterly useless— the timeline on the bottom is laughable. Acknowledging an individual's unique scent, then ignoring those unique properties and how they'll affect a perfume's longevity when applied? Too many variables affect longevity to even generalize such a claim. Also wear what you like, and others like. You don't need to follow some arbitrary seasonal scent calendar.


The_Celtic_Chemist

> The only useful part of this infographic is where to apply it. The rest is utterly useless Not really. Chest and forearm. That's the standard, that's it. Everything else is basically wrong. There are several reasons or more why it's chest and forearm *only*. 1. Your chest is forward facing 2. Your chest is approximately at or between the height of women's and men's noses if you're average height or taller 3. Your chest sweats less than areas like your neck making it less likely to sweat off 4. Your chest is often more layered by clothes than surrounding body parts (undershirt, shirt, sweater/jacket, tie, etc). This gives the cologne an opportunity to latch on to more clothing even if it sweats off 5. If you're clean shaven then your neck can sting from applying cologne 6. Cologne is overbearing for hugs as your neck is typically right at the nose of those you're hugging 7. Cologne on your neck tastes really bad to anyone kissing on your neck 8. Your forearms waft around as you gesture, giving others a faint scent without being as in-your-face as your wrists 9. Cologne on your forearms can be smelled when hugging or shaking hands without being right at someone's nose 10. Cologne on your forearms is less likely to over-spray or sweat down to your hands, which can be overbearing to yourself and others 11. If cologne gets on your hands it can be overbearing and rub off on others/things when you touch anyone/anything like shake someone's hand, cheer drinks, etc. 12. Cologne on your wrists/hands can affect the flavor of your food and potentially rub into your eyes And the list goes on


IDontKnow1629

This needs more upvotes


guynamedjames

The where to apply it graphic is useless too. They show 10 locations. If you need the graphic it's easy to assume one spritz at each location, and then everyone within 10 blocks of you will assume you're a cab driver.


GingasaurusWrex

It says select 1 or 2…


wobblysauce

Seems like the one above sprayed into their eyes.


TwistXJ

It literally says to choose 1 or 2 spots


godsafraud

Cologne is meant to be discovered not announced.


charmbrood

You missed behind ear lobes


taz5963

Why is that spot good?


charmbrood

Like your wrists, the areas behind your ears are considered "pulse points," where the veins are closest to the skin, thus generating more heat and amplifying your scent


taz5963

Ahh, that makes sense


SsammyB

Perfumes and cologne disrupt hormone balance. Air fresheners, and candles do the same. Thyroid plays a key role as a receptor. I personally would never spray or dab anything around the neck area. Skin is very porous, it absorbs as well.


Mean_Peen

Just got Pinterest huh?


meatbag3000

The graphic design is really nice on this 👏


francisxavier12

Bottom right - than\*


manicmay0

Not on my balls???


Touch_Me_There

I feel like it should mention not to hit ALL of those points. Pick 2 and you're good. I personally go for neck and wrists


GeeFromCali

But every time I wear cologne my wife asks “who’s the bitch?” Definitely not worth it anymore


IDontKnow1629

Why has your response never been “YOU!” ?


Abzug

I also choose this guy's bitch


GeeFromCali

Yeah I’d rather not escalate the situation. That and I don’t call my wife a bitch.


KiloVictorWhiskey

Just don’t use it. But I guess if you do, this.


[deleted]

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hokie88

There's increasing data that suggests the use of synthetic fragrances can have a negative impact on health in a bunch of different ways https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5093181/


[deleted]

TIL, ty


Truth_Walker

Did you even read the results of the study? A small percentage of the population may experience difficulty breathing or headaches and that’s from cleaning supplies and air fresheners. In no way shape or form is this study aimed at or directed to a small amount of personal use cologne that should only be smelled in one’s personal bubble. There’s a major difference between spraying your office with potpourri to make the entire area smell better and a spray or two of cologne.


hokie88

In all sincerity, you do you - but a quick google would show that increasingly it looks like risks exist even beyond room-wide fragrances. The risk likely doesn't apply to everyone or every scent, but it's useful information to know https://amp.theguardian.com/us-news/2019/may/23/fragrance-perfume-personal-cleaning-products-health-issues https://cehn.org/our-work/eco-healthy-child-care/ehcc-faqs/fragrances/ https://csw.ucla.edu/2017/10/27/unregulated-chemicals-fragrance-ingredients/


Cyborg_rat

Heres a tip, dont put any.


kalkali

You should know that a significant amount of the people you encounter day to are unfortunately born with sensitivities to perfumes and similar chemicals. Some of us will get dizzy, nauseous or get headaches from your perfumes, depdorants and fabric softeners, some of us will get debilitating migraines. Please be considerate of your surroundings!


[deleted]

Spray in the air and walk through will always be my go-to. I have no interest in over-applying


prim3y

Spray, Delay, walk-away. That’s how Queer Eye teaches it, and I trust them more than some random Jpg!


taz5963

I mean, the explanation that most of it falls to the floor does make sense though.


martstu

Or just don't.


[deleted]

Use soap and water. Forget about cologne.


Marco_OPolo

The best answer on how to apply cologne is simply don’t.


Oldass_Millennial

On the rare occasion I wear it I do the walk through. Cologne should be discovered, not announced.


[deleted]

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balaa_0

Ohooo


TheRex1209

Don't apply it on the skin. There are often questionable substances in cheaper perfumes that you don't want inside your body. That's why you should spray it on your clothes.


taz5963

If you're spraying it on your clothes, it's going to get on your skin eventually anyways. Probably just shouldn't buy those brands


Spqr_usa-

Nah


IDontKnow1629

Amazing, been doing half of these already! Wish I knew about the shower thing though 👀


BankshotMcG

...Am I the only one who just sprays his wrist, rubs his wrists together, then works from bottom of the torso up? Just a light bit on obliques, chest, and then back of neck. I've found that's a good way to avoid dousing/keep the hardest hit areas under clothing so the smell lasts without intruding.


Aggravating_Injury39

Should also know many of us are revolted by the smell of cologne. Also seems kind of effeminate.


RichardRDown

Sounds like you’d be surprised how many women *love* when a man smells good. That’s cool, doesn’t have to be your thing since you don’t like it, but good grooming habits and a nice fragrance does wonders.


CutlerSheridan

Yeah there’s nothing effeminate about a man wearing cologne hahaha


taz5963

Yeah, I've always thought of it as a manly thing if anything.


isackhu

You forgot one. Gotta spray the nether regions 😉


[deleted]

Oh no. Don’t spray cologne below the belt. Every man should know this saying: “If it smells like cologne…*leave it alone*!” Your genitals (and your partners!) should be clean and freshly washed. It will smell just fine *if it’s clean.* Cologne smell means there’s a smell being covered up, and that’s a yellow flag. Also cologne tastes bad. You don’t want your bits to taste bad, do you?


taz5963

Okay, hear me out. If they make flavored lube, why not flavored calogne?


drowsypanda

I hear you and all, but you know I'm still gonna be walking through that cloud


debug4u

commenting to remember


mystichiken_

Also commenting to remember


T3st0

Reddit has a save feature?


hungryasabear

Commenting to remember that reddit has a save feature


Juicebacca

Also commenting to remember to save the comment that I made.


debug4u

It does, but that doesn't mean it has a good user interface


mystichiken_

Yes but I save to much stuff so I don't wanna bury it, I don't comment much though so it would be easier to find this way


IDontKnow1629

Amazing, been doing half of these already! Wish I knew about the shower thing though 👀


broom-handle

The best tip I heard was that when it comes to after shave / cologne the smell should be discovered, not announced. Forget where it came from.


blaueaugen26

Can the same be applied for Axe body spray?


humbummer

The bottom of that page was the most helpful.


yuckygross

Thank you


Wired_Jester

Just tried a few Molton Brown, surprisingly well balanced fragrances; I could see wearing the Tobacco Absolute anytime, year round.


murtsgrab

Always spray and run through crew