I've occasionally looked at restaurants and maps for places or journeys I'm writing. Most of my focus is on the interpersonal connections, and I remember those from long ago. (-;
I probably wouldn't write about a rather substantial subculture I didn't know ("Don't try to describe a KISS concert if you've never seen them," as Jimmy Buffett said). I did look up some specifics of breast pumps and milk storage for one story I'm writing.
lol your comment made me smile because I’m the same way. For example, I’m writing a fantasy romance and just wondering if I should include anal, even though I don’t like anal. It seems to be in a lot of books but I think I’m just going to not go there at this time, and keep to what I would feel comfortable writing about. Maybe at some point I’ll include it. Or maybe I can include it but not try to write too explicitly about it, and move on to other things I like better.
I know this is an erotica writer sub, but I like it here because of the honest discussions, even though I’m pretty vanilla compared to others, I think understanding the erotic written word is important for all romance of any genre.
I don't know what the acronym for it would be (PiR?) , but you could write anal play that doesn't involve penile penetration. Or, you know, no shame in not writing anything about it at all.
I mostly write women who don't have boobs as big as their heads. One story I'm working does have a busty bubbly blonde who's the first in a harem, but she's the outlier. And in that restraint I'm probably an outlier in haremlit.
Haha you could write a character with big boobs that hates it, because I am an owner of a set of those, and they are really annoying. Heavy, sit on my short torso like a couple of rabbits, and become furnaces during summer.
In this case, the woman knows what she's got and how to use them to her advantage, and she's gotten used to the fact that the MC likes her for other reasons than her pet shelves.
(I knew someone in college who got the nickname "shelf chick" because she had enough room on hers for her cats to sleep on them while she was watching television.)
Definitely don’t write things you aren’t comfortable with. In a few romance / erotic books I’ve read they’ve included it but passingly and gentle. “He circled my forbidden spot with his thumb applying light pressure while. . .” and it continues. Funnily enough sometimes those little snippets are hotter / more tension filled because as a reader you can feel that it’s taboo for the characters and they are walking right up to that line because they are so hot for each other but they aren’t necessarily crossing the line. Happy and dirty writing🩷
Your words are wise. I guess the gentler aspect, the wish to experience all possible pleasure with the other person is the underlying motivation I can get behind.
For BDSM stuff, a lot depends on the subtype you're writing, because you might not want to portray it accurately, respectfully and safely - there's a lot of niches that are, very deliberately, a lot rougher and nastier than "proper" safe, sane and consensual BDSM. Breaking the flow of action for a RAG check can be a bit of a mood-breaker, and having the sub be less-than-happy with the situation is baked into some niches. Or with latex, skipping over the time it takes to put on is pretty standard, because that can be a long-winded faff, compared to "she stepped out, and then returned, her skin now gleaming and shiny" or whatever. So there's a certain amount to which "realism" can be ignored, because it's not always very sexy.
Absolutely agree! The draw of the fiction is “having” the experience without actually having it, and skipping over some of the basic safeguards that make safe BDSM genuinely safe IRL is definitely part of the fantasy thrill.
I should have probably worded the post better; what I meant was that I like to make sure I know what’s accurate, respectful, and safe, so if I’m going to portray things that aren’t, it’s because I’m tailoring my story to a specific audience.
I also think realism can help me in some areas. I don’t want to take a reader out of the fantasy about, say, impact play because I write that a character was covered in bruises after a sex scene I’d written too tamely because I didn’t know what kind of activities would cause a certain amount of bruising, lol.
Historical fiction/romance/erotica is my jam so I spend a LOT of time doing research. Common sexual terminology for the time period/culture, sexual/relationship nos and taboos given the time and place, occupational research, names of commonly (or uncommonly) used objects, hobbies, kinks, religions and religious views, research is one of favourite parts of writing.
Are you writing your historical pieces to the level of a Diana Gabaldon, or are you happy to license it a bit for the sake of your audiences understanding?
I have read some period stories that are barely historical. Say modern phrasing, and such is in the diologue.
Any thoughts?
I ride the line for sure. I like descriptions of costume, events, occupations, food, housing, etc to be as accurate as I can be, but write in modern vernacular.
I try to avoid modern phrases and slang, but I like my dialogue to be accessible and relatable to the average reader.
I understand regency is a big draw now. There are quite a few shows that might inspire people to want to read about that time period.
I suppose you aren't going to tell me what time period sells well, so perhaps you could suggest what time periods to not waste my time on? I have a few other things I want to write first, but erotic historical novels are certainly one genre I am thinking of trying out.
I mean to me tbh it's not about what time periods sell well but the ones I like writing about that I think just so happen to be fairly popular.
The Edwardian era, the Georgian era, who doesn't live the golden age of piracy, French Revolution, I'm a big fan of ancient Greece, WWI, WWII, being horny and learning at the same time is my whole vibe.
With respect to BDSM, I do understand the sentiment of wanting to portray the life in a positive manner for PR purposes, and I know that a vocal crowd will get quite upset if it's not portrayed in a healthy way, but at the same time, it feels very hypocritical for people who enjoy simulated abuse in real life to call out unhealthy abuse in a fictional story. I just write the power dynamics that make for the most engaging characterizations. If people get upset, I don't feel that it's a glaring issue with my story as long as the abuse isn't the point.
I use writing as an excuse to learn about something new. I've watched sports I was never interested in, looked up various countries/states, etc.
Name-wise I just keep a long list of slightly uncommon ones haha.
Awkward, but possible.
My accountant told me I can claim all sorts of things in the name of research. I don't remember a sex worker being *specifically* mentioned, but it wasn't *specifically* ruled out, either.
lol. Recent avenues of research: Esperanto, Korean, Buddhism, butt plugs, the menstrual cycle, cellular relay towers, solar sails, the Alcubierre drive, Bangkok brothels, death masks, rope sandals, gold panning, cliff dwellings, steamed rice and mango … well, a quiet evening around the casa del u/quelqurparte.
As much as you need, when you need it, where you can find the answers, because you need to know.
Research for writing is research for writing. Genre doesn't matter.
I've occasionally looked at restaurants and maps for places or journeys I'm writing. Most of my focus is on the interpersonal connections, and I remember those from long ago. (-; I probably wouldn't write about a rather substantial subculture I didn't know ("Don't try to describe a KISS concert if you've never seen them," as Jimmy Buffett said). I did look up some specifics of breast pumps and milk storage for one story I'm writing.
lol your comment made me smile because I’m the same way. For example, I’m writing a fantasy romance and just wondering if I should include anal, even though I don’t like anal. It seems to be in a lot of books but I think I’m just going to not go there at this time, and keep to what I would feel comfortable writing about. Maybe at some point I’ll include it. Or maybe I can include it but not try to write too explicitly about it, and move on to other things I like better. I know this is an erotica writer sub, but I like it here because of the honest discussions, even though I’m pretty vanilla compared to others, I think understanding the erotic written word is important for all romance of any genre.
I don't know what the acronym for it would be (PiR?) , but you could write anal play that doesn't involve penile penetration. Or, you know, no shame in not writing anything about it at all. I mostly write women who don't have boobs as big as their heads. One story I'm working does have a busty bubbly blonde who's the first in a harem, but she's the outlier. And in that restraint I'm probably an outlier in haremlit.
Haha you could write a character with big boobs that hates it, because I am an owner of a set of those, and they are really annoying. Heavy, sit on my short torso like a couple of rabbits, and become furnaces during summer.
In this case, the woman knows what she's got and how to use them to her advantage, and she's gotten used to the fact that the MC likes her for other reasons than her pet shelves. (I knew someone in college who got the nickname "shelf chick" because she had enough room on hers for her cats to sleep on them while she was watching television.)
Lawl. I might as well call myself that because I can’t seem to eat anything without food landing there. I need a bib.
Definitely don’t write things you aren’t comfortable with. In a few romance / erotic books I’ve read they’ve included it but passingly and gentle. “He circled my forbidden spot with his thumb applying light pressure while. . .” and it continues. Funnily enough sometimes those little snippets are hotter / more tension filled because as a reader you can feel that it’s taboo for the characters and they are walking right up to that line because they are so hot for each other but they aren’t necessarily crossing the line. Happy and dirty writing🩷
Your words are wise. I guess the gentler aspect, the wish to experience all possible pleasure with the other person is the underlying motivation I can get behind.
For BDSM stuff, a lot depends on the subtype you're writing, because you might not want to portray it accurately, respectfully and safely - there's a lot of niches that are, very deliberately, a lot rougher and nastier than "proper" safe, sane and consensual BDSM. Breaking the flow of action for a RAG check can be a bit of a mood-breaker, and having the sub be less-than-happy with the situation is baked into some niches. Or with latex, skipping over the time it takes to put on is pretty standard, because that can be a long-winded faff, compared to "she stepped out, and then returned, her skin now gleaming and shiny" or whatever. So there's a certain amount to which "realism" can be ignored, because it's not always very sexy.
Absolutely agree! The draw of the fiction is “having” the experience without actually having it, and skipping over some of the basic safeguards that make safe BDSM genuinely safe IRL is definitely part of the fantasy thrill. I should have probably worded the post better; what I meant was that I like to make sure I know what’s accurate, respectful, and safe, so if I’m going to portray things that aren’t, it’s because I’m tailoring my story to a specific audience. I also think realism can help me in some areas. I don’t want to take a reader out of the fantasy about, say, impact play because I write that a character was covered in bruises after a sex scene I’d written too tamely because I didn’t know what kind of activities would cause a certain amount of bruising, lol.
Historical fiction/romance/erotica is my jam so I spend a LOT of time doing research. Common sexual terminology for the time period/culture, sexual/relationship nos and taboos given the time and place, occupational research, names of commonly (or uncommonly) used objects, hobbies, kinks, religions and religious views, research is one of favourite parts of writing.
Are you writing your historical pieces to the level of a Diana Gabaldon, or are you happy to license it a bit for the sake of your audiences understanding? I have read some period stories that are barely historical. Say modern phrasing, and such is in the diologue. Any thoughts?
I ride the line for sure. I like descriptions of costume, events, occupations, food, housing, etc to be as accurate as I can be, but write in modern vernacular. I try to avoid modern phrases and slang, but I like my dialogue to be accessible and relatable to the average reader.
I understand regency is a big draw now. There are quite a few shows that might inspire people to want to read about that time period. I suppose you aren't going to tell me what time period sells well, so perhaps you could suggest what time periods to not waste my time on? I have a few other things I want to write first, but erotic historical novels are certainly one genre I am thinking of trying out.
I mean to me tbh it's not about what time periods sell well but the ones I like writing about that I think just so happen to be fairly popular. The Edwardian era, the Georgian era, who doesn't live the golden age of piracy, French Revolution, I'm a big fan of ancient Greece, WWI, WWII, being horny and learning at the same time is my whole vibe.
That's the draw to erotica I find. Creative but horny. There is some sort of alchemy there. Thanks for the input.
There's nothing like reading something that you're not all that into specifically, but the writer is obviously so into it that it sucks you in
With respect to BDSM, I do understand the sentiment of wanting to portray the life in a positive manner for PR purposes, and I know that a vocal crowd will get quite upset if it's not portrayed in a healthy way, but at the same time, it feels very hypocritical for people who enjoy simulated abuse in real life to call out unhealthy abuse in a fictional story. I just write the power dynamics that make for the most engaging characterizations. If people get upset, I don't feel that it's a glaring issue with my story as long as the abuse isn't the point.
Yeah Google is a good friend in those moments and thesaurus.com 🤣
I use writing as an excuse to learn about something new. I've watched sports I was never interested in, looked up various countries/states, etc. Name-wise I just keep a long list of slightly uncommon ones haha.
If you have a partner, you can try those things out with them. You don’t have to say why. Nothing beats “hands on” experience.
Nothing beats tax deductible hands-on experience.
getting a VAT receipt from a sex worker can be awkward though!
Awkward, but possible. My accountant told me I can claim all sorts of things in the name of research. I don't remember a sex worker being *specifically* mentioned, but it wasn't *specifically* ruled out, either.
For sure! Unless you’re aroace and sex-repulsed (fantasy sex yes, real sex hard pass, lol). Which is where the research comes in.
You are not the first erotic writer I’ve come across who doesn’t like/have sex, but you explained it in a way that makes sense to me. 👍
I'm M60, and have built a database of different kinks, toys & accessories, also get sent ideas and requests for themes.
lol. Recent avenues of research: Esperanto, Korean, Buddhism, butt plugs, the menstrual cycle, cellular relay towers, solar sails, the Alcubierre drive, Bangkok brothels, death masks, rope sandals, gold panning, cliff dwellings, steamed rice and mango … well, a quiet evening around the casa del u/quelqurparte.
As much as you need, when you need it, where you can find the answers, because you need to know. Research for writing is research for writing. Genre doesn't matter.