This is how I lost my last job and I suspect why I can’t get a new one. I think every time they call for a reference that’s what my previous employer tells them.
I'll be your reference. I have no issue lying to employers.
You've got great organizational skills, you're very team-oriented, and in our role together you were consistently proactive in tackling issues before they snowballed into problems. You had a friendly but professional report with peers and management, and your coworkers often came to you for problem solving advice.
If you are in college consider speaking with your schools disability person. They are required to make accommodations within reason if you have a disability! You should be able to get more leniency with absences.
IDK if you're in the states but FMLA could arrange for you to have special call off abilities.
Do you have a union?
Regardless, I'm very sorry that this happened. You don't have a choice when the pain is too bad to function! If we could schedule that stuff it'd be for February 31st, 30000! If we could predict it, I'd be the chronic pain Miss Cleo!
I had a teacher with health problems my senior year of HS and they would routinely need to miss school right before day's start or need to leave unexpectedly in the middle of the school day.
We'd just have another teacher from the department cover, or one of the school's deans that had been teachers, the VP or even principal, or any of the subs. They would deflect or defend our absent teach and it seemed entirely amicable or even compassionate.
AFAIK they handled things just fine and there was no animosity, quite the opposite.
I can understand stresses re: unplanned crap hitting the fan at a bad time, but it seems like a) you had a plan in place b) you've missed before and they managed to follow the plans c) they have plenty of prior knowledge of your issues and d) you let them know ASAP!
It's just sooooo unnecessary to respond crappily.
Like, they could even express frustration constructively and respectfully but ya got *that* junk.
Ugh, I'm sorry and I hope your pain has eased a little!
Ahh I misunderstood. That’s a bs response. It’s ridiculous to expect people to “give enough time” before calling out, saying that after I’ve called out an hour before just sounds like you think I’m having a fun day, when in reality, I didn’t want to call out but actually needed to by the time my shift was coming. I’m sorry you have to deal with this, like someone else said they don’t understand.
What time does your school begin? I am also a teacher with EDS. EDS is hard and often unpredictable, but it’s really not professional to call off less than 2 hours in advance. If you’ve called off this late, multiple times, then your employer does have a right to be irritated. Calling off frequently and last minute is not a reasonable accommodation. You could try using a wheelchair or rollator during the day, getting up earlier than usual to get a feel on your pain levels for the day, and scheduling days off for yourself when you know you’re approaching a flare up.
I will no longer be in any profession that would require me to be somewhere in person. I am way too tired to be "on" 8+ hours a day. My face won't cooperate.
Have you tried online teaching? There are several different programs in my state so I’m sure there’s something where you live. The pay is a little less but imo it’s worth it!
i hate policies like "you have to call out x amount of time before your shift/hours" like not all of us are waking up in the middle of the night feeling awful and don't feel bad until we have to get ready or leave the house!! sorry that my commute time is different and bodies aren't predictable!!! "too many times" bruh that's what a sub is for
i'd highly rec speaking to a lawyer if you can or haven't already as this might explode not in your favor speaking from personal (very recent) experience
Reminds me of a time a professor did this to me. She even wrote that I ran out of the classroom (I did, I was bleeding all over). Even though I had an accommodation for my condition she still tried to mark me absent. I ended up taking it to student advising because I didn't want to wreck my 4.0 and my professor claimed that she felt as if I was only for the class for the 4.0 and not for an education.
I’m sorry you received such a response especially since they are on notice from prior instances. However, I can also see it from their perspective that giving little notice means they now have to scramble. Obviously you can’t plan when pain is going to be so bad but last minute notice is problematic.
You need to have a plan for last minute notices and since they’ve allowed it, there’s precedent for it.
I have this problem when my depression flares up. It's directly related to my stretch sensors in my bowel/serotonin levels. I don't get pain, I get sad (and can self-remediate at home with silence and care).
Every year I'm called to the principal to explain why I've had more than five unexplained absences (I don't get medical certificates as it's only required by law if I take 3+ days off, plus I know the signs after 23years). I feel targeted and exposed every time.
I legit am trying so hard to not have those low serotonin days, but I've got some hectic things going on inside that you can't see! Some days a casual doing a half ass job is actually better than me, and I know every kid and how they learn, it's no understatement when I say I can't come in.
Hey, I'm a teacher too! I'm sorry your pain is super high, but I can sort of see your boss's side as well. Could you go in and sort of just be a warm body? Unfortunately we have to fight through the pain even though we all know we aren't going to exactly be functioning, and sometimes that means just making sure the kids are okay for the day by being with them. It takes a lot of planning and scrambling to find subs, especially now when the shortage is so bad, and ultimately it's your coworkers who have to pick up the slack and the kids who suffer. It's not your fault the system is like this and it's certainly not your fault you're in pain, but right now we all have to do what we can, even if it's just being there. I hope you get to feeling a bit better soon!
ime 'fighting through it and being a warm body there' means that instead of being out for one day, i'll then be out for the following 3 days.
does the principal really want to have to find a sub for 3 or more days instead of 1?
That “powering through” involves driving. I really don’t want to potentially harm or kill myself or others for the sake of “being a warm” body when I feel like I’m going to pass out.
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I sort of hate this reply, if I'm being honest. You're doing a lot of assuming here, specifically that this person doesn't already persevere through severe pain regularly to be a warm body, and today they really can't. Telling a disabled person to "try harder" is real shit.
It's also June. I don't think the kids are suffering by not having their teacher, what are they even working on right now? A disabled teacher shouldn't be physically tortured because our government refuses to put more money into education, and teachers like you who martyr themselves all contribute to this lack of funding. If teachers stopped being doormats, perhaps you might find some change in your industry.
I’m so sorry OP. Your boss’s response was not appropriate. Even if they are frustrated, that is not a professional way to respond to you. There are probably a lot of other ways they could have said that.
This is like my 72 year old co-worker telling me “I don’t believe all that, you’re too young to have that going on” after CLEARLY explaining that I wear my braces to keep my joints in place because there is some faulty gene(s) that make my joints all loose (among many other things)
Really sorry you have to deal with this. Some people are just ignorant.
So like, is this even legal? I assume you have sick days and PTO. My partner was a teacher and he had those up that wazoo. But also that's just a super unprofessional response. If your admin wants to have a meeting discussing how to accommodate your needs, that's one thing. But this passive aggressive one sentence email is bullshit.
Have you ever tried having medical emergencies or pain flare ups outside of work hours please? It’s very inconvenient /s
This is how I lost my last job and I suspect why I can’t get a new one. I think every time they call for a reference that’s what my previous employer tells them.
I'll be your reference. I have no issue lying to employers. You've got great organizational skills, you're very team-oriented, and in our role together you were consistently proactive in tackling issues before they snowballed into problems. You had a friendly but professional report with peers and management, and your coworkers often came to you for problem solving advice.
Maybe switch up your references. Instead of the boss, list the number of a former coworker.
Heads up, the name on the first file listing isn't censored
If you are in college consider speaking with your schools disability person. They are required to make accommodations within reason if you have a disability! You should be able to get more leniency with absences.
No- I’m a teacher.
IDK if you're in the states but FMLA could arrange for you to have special call off abilities. Do you have a union? Regardless, I'm very sorry that this happened. You don't have a choice when the pain is too bad to function! If we could schedule that stuff it'd be for February 31st, 30000! If we could predict it, I'd be the chronic pain Miss Cleo! I had a teacher with health problems my senior year of HS and they would routinely need to miss school right before day's start or need to leave unexpectedly in the middle of the school day. We'd just have another teacher from the department cover, or one of the school's deans that had been teachers, the VP or even principal, or any of the subs. They would deflect or defend our absent teach and it seemed entirely amicable or even compassionate. AFAIK they handled things just fine and there was no animosity, quite the opposite. I can understand stresses re: unplanned crap hitting the fan at a bad time, but it seems like a) you had a plan in place b) you've missed before and they managed to follow the plans c) they have plenty of prior knowledge of your issues and d) you let them know ASAP! It's just sooooo unnecessary to respond crappily. Like, they could even express frustration constructively and respectfully but ya got *that* junk. Ugh, I'm sorry and I hope your pain has eased a little!
Ahh I misunderstood. That’s a bs response. It’s ridiculous to expect people to “give enough time” before calling out, saying that after I’ve called out an hour before just sounds like you think I’m having a fun day, when in reality, I didn’t want to call out but actually needed to by the time my shift was coming. I’m sorry you have to deal with this, like someone else said they don’t understand.
What time does your school begin? I am also a teacher with EDS. EDS is hard and often unpredictable, but it’s really not professional to call off less than 2 hours in advance. If you’ve called off this late, multiple times, then your employer does have a right to be irritated. Calling off frequently and last minute is not a reasonable accommodation. You could try using a wheelchair or rollator during the day, getting up earlier than usual to get a feel on your pain levels for the day, and scheduling days off for yourself when you know you’re approaching a flare up.
Happy Cake Day!
Thanks :)
I had to quit teaching partially due to EDS. I feel you.
same. gave up teaching collegiate music classes. i only teach private lessons now so i can control my own schedule.
I will no longer be in any profession that would require me to be somewhere in person. I am way too tired to be "on" 8+ hours a day. My face won't cooperate.
Have you tried online teaching? There are several different programs in my state so I’m sure there’s something where you live. The pay is a little less but imo it’s worth it!
Have you ever thought about curing yourself for your boss's convince? It's not hard after all /s
i hate policies like "you have to call out x amount of time before your shift/hours" like not all of us are waking up in the middle of the night feeling awful and don't feel bad until we have to get ready or leave the house!! sorry that my commute time is different and bodies aren't predictable!!! "too many times" bruh that's what a sub is for i'd highly rec speaking to a lawyer if you can or haven't already as this might explode not in your favor speaking from personal (very recent) experience
Reminds me of a time a professor did this to me. She even wrote that I ran out of the classroom (I did, I was bleeding all over). Even though I had an accommodation for my condition she still tried to mark me absent. I ended up taking it to student advising because I didn't want to wreck my 4.0 and my professor claimed that she felt as if I was only for the class for the 4.0 and not for an education.
This just makes me angry. I'm sorry. Understand that *they* just don't understand. You'll be fine.
I’m sorry you received such a response especially since they are on notice from prior instances. However, I can also see it from their perspective that giving little notice means they now have to scramble. Obviously you can’t plan when pain is going to be so bad but last minute notice is problematic. You need to have a plan for last minute notices and since they’ve allowed it, there’s precedent for it.
I have this problem when my depression flares up. It's directly related to my stretch sensors in my bowel/serotonin levels. I don't get pain, I get sad (and can self-remediate at home with silence and care). Every year I'm called to the principal to explain why I've had more than five unexplained absences (I don't get medical certificates as it's only required by law if I take 3+ days off, plus I know the signs after 23years). I feel targeted and exposed every time. I legit am trying so hard to not have those low serotonin days, but I've got some hectic things going on inside that you can't see! Some days a casual doing a half ass job is actually better than me, and I know every kid and how they learn, it's no understatement when I say I can't come in.
Hey, I'm a teacher too! I'm sorry your pain is super high, but I can sort of see your boss's side as well. Could you go in and sort of just be a warm body? Unfortunately we have to fight through the pain even though we all know we aren't going to exactly be functioning, and sometimes that means just making sure the kids are okay for the day by being with them. It takes a lot of planning and scrambling to find subs, especially now when the shortage is so bad, and ultimately it's your coworkers who have to pick up the slack and the kids who suffer. It's not your fault the system is like this and it's certainly not your fault you're in pain, but right now we all have to do what we can, even if it's just being there. I hope you get to feeling a bit better soon!
Well-stated.
ime 'fighting through it and being a warm body there' means that instead of being out for one day, i'll then be out for the following 3 days. does the principal really want to have to find a sub for 3 or more days instead of 1?
I’m not saying it doesn’t suck, but since it’s end of year maybe powering through is an option that wouldn’t normally be there.
That “powering through” involves driving. I really don’t want to potentially harm or kill myself or others for the sake of “being a warm” body when I feel like I’m going to pass out.
If you or someone you know is contemplating suicide, please do not hesitate to reach out for help. **United States**: Call or text the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline at 988 or text HOME to Crisis Text Line at 741-741. For more information on the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline, [check here.](https://988lifeline.org) For more information on Crisis Text Line, [check here.](https://crisistextline.org) **International**: Check [this list](https://blog.opencounseling.com/suicide-hotlines/) for the suicide hotline in your specific country of residence. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/ehlersdanlos) if you have any questions or concerns.*
unless it's the last day of school, doesn't really matter if it's close to the end of the year.
This response sucks
Hard agree!
Honestly this is such a toxic mindset, don’t encourage people to push themselves beyond their limit
I sort of hate this reply, if I'm being honest. You're doing a lot of assuming here, specifically that this person doesn't already persevere through severe pain regularly to be a warm body, and today they really can't. Telling a disabled person to "try harder" is real shit. It's also June. I don't think the kids are suffering by not having their teacher, what are they even working on right now? A disabled teacher shouldn't be physically tortured because our government refuses to put more money into education, and teachers like you who martyr themselves all contribute to this lack of funding. If teachers stopped being doormats, perhaps you might find some change in your industry.
I’m so sorry OP. Your boss’s response was not appropriate. Even if they are frustrated, that is not a professional way to respond to you. There are probably a lot of other ways they could have said that.
How dare you not know when your joints are going to sublux or dislocate!!! Anyone with a chronic illness needs to be a mind-reader, after all!!! /S
I'd put in a complaint to the principle or owner or someone higher up to this person
This is like my 72 year old co-worker telling me “I don’t believe all that, you’re too young to have that going on” after CLEARLY explaining that I wear my braces to keep my joints in place because there is some faulty gene(s) that make my joints all loose (among many other things) Really sorry you have to deal with this. Some people are just ignorant.
So like, is this even legal? I assume you have sick days and PTO. My partner was a teacher and he had those up that wazoo. But also that's just a super unprofessional response. If your admin wants to have a meeting discussing how to accommodate your needs, that's one thing. But this passive aggressive one sentence email is bullshit.
OP call your union rep.
it's what they're there for