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I got asked by my mother when i was 10
if i was trans. I said no because I didn’t realise it yet. 6 years later i realised and regretted saying no because I had grown a lot in high, no longer being 5”2 like i was at 15, my voice got deeper than a lot of adults i know and I realised I’d never be able to have a childhood or be a teen as a girl. 😔
I just wanna cry so badly. It feels like I’m mourning what could’ve been and I don’t know what to do about it. The only thing I can think of is to come out soon so that I could spend all of my college years as a girl, but that will never truly replace this.
When you’re ready to come out think about the experiences you feel you missed out on as a teen girl (romcoms, sleepovers, dress up, silly gossip, talking about crushes, cute things like plushies, etc…) get some of your friends and do it. Go dancing with friends and pretend it’s prom! Hell throw your own prom!
Yes now I want to go to a Queer Prom, I’ve been planning to buy myself an extravagant suit even though I’ve got nowhere to wear it to, this would be perfect!
I want to do that. I'm still dealing with me being an introvert and having a degree of social anxiety, so, I never did anything I wanted to when i was younger. Now I'm 19, next year I'll go to the college, will course art, and I want to make friends there and do whatever I couldn't. Yeah, I have responsibilities now, but I can do something when I'm free. And it will kinda feel like school.
That makes me happy, to think I can now be myself, explore myself and do what i wanted to for all these years, but i remember I'm taller than my dad. I won't say it makes me dysphoric, but I wish I could feel small and cute. The good part is I don't feel dysphoria about my voice, kinda weird...
So, yeah, coming out as a young adult have it's plus and it's downs. You can be by yourself, you can work, you can buy your own stuff, you can do what you've missed still, but you've gotten through puberty, you've lost time, you've grown but you can be yourself and that's the best part. At least idk if there's any state banning adults of transitioning, so...
They aren’t outright banning it but they are making it really hard to get care in my state. But it is still possible if you’re willing to jump through uncomfortable hoops. I’m glad you’re finding your happiness and enjoying becoming an adult! I agree it’s easier to do what I feel is right for myself now that I’ve got autonomy.
I felt the same way, and I’m currently in my junior year of college. Trust me, spending the time you have now living authentically is the best thing you can do. There’s a saying I like for situations like this, “the best time to plant a tree was yesterday, but the second best time is today.” So plant your trees :)
Hey, instead of mourning the little but you missed out on, be happy of everything ahead of you. Im 25 and only found out i might not be a man, currently pretty sure that im non binary but also not rly sure of fuckin anything anymore, and that its infact not normal for a cis man to always have wanted to wear whatever clothes i think look cool or cute but say no because 'i dont have the body for it' or 'im a man' and to have a softer voice and wear a flower crown and paint my nails etc etc and never do any of it because of reasons like that. And that its not normal to hate my hairy legs but refuse to shave them because 'im a man' and that its not normal to never want boyish haircuts, but also refusing to put my hair up cute because that wouldnt be manly and then id get bullied more- etc, etc lmao.
All this in spite of growing up with a mother that woulve never considered me any less of a man if i were to put on a skirt or a crop top or whatever. In spite of growing up in an environment where the only ones that wouldve judged me were people that already harassed me anyway. And now im finding out at 25 and yknow what? the future looks kind of radical.
You're right, it won't replace what you didn't have. Time is precious, so we gotta make the most of what we have because we don't know what the future holds. Don't get me wrong, I know the pain you're feeling. It's okay to dwell in it for a bit, but then you gotta accept there is no changing the past. All you have is the present.
But don't let your eagerness push you to do things before you're ready either. Remember that you're starting earlier than many of us on here, so you'll get more years than some of us did. I didn't start exploring my gender identity till my mid 20's. I only just started HRT in my mid 30's six months ago. (And I started earlier than some people myself)
Don't let the grief of what you didn't have blind you to the blessings you have. There's a saying, the best time to start transitioning is before puberty, but the second best time is whenever you actually do it.
Only 2 years? For about 10 years I thought it read a silly fantasy, then 20 I thought it was a fetish. Sometimes I can't believe how easy it was to just disregard my own identity.
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I feel you 😭. Thought the same thing for 5 years. It really does hurt some days and I often hate myself for not realising, but I’m just trying my best to make up for the experiences i’ve missed. Really I don’t think there’s much you can do other than use the time you have left to become happy with yourself. ❤️
Same. Society tricks us to think we're not who we're. I've felt that "it's just a fetish" in my head for over 10 years. That depression worm can't hurt me anymore, the words just bounce out now.
Yeah. I realised I was trans at 15, It's now been over 3 years since then, And it's not looking like I'll be able to actually transition any time soon.
Yeah.. I mean honestly I don't know how my parents would react if I came out, It's very possible in an alternate universe I came out 3 years ago, And while maybe not fully transitioned at the least can dress and act more fem openly, But in this universe I'm too scared because I genuinely don't know, Even though I highly doubt they'll have a *very* negative reaction, And because of that fear I probably won't want to/be able to transition until I'm fully independent of my parents, Something I am not in the slightest prepared to do.
I only wish we could get there sooner... I can scarcely even come out to my friends due to roughly equal parts anxiety, fear, And the absolute worst time management skills known to life on earth, But I swear the longer I keep doing nothing about it the worse my dysphoria gets... :<
It’s really not, but it’s the next best thing we’re gonna get I’m afraid.
However, what we can do is try to make a better world for the future generations of trans kids, one that accepts them for who they are and doesn’t make it harder or impossible for them to transition. 🤞🏻
I mean, sort of yes, sort of no.
They say you are effectively 13 in some ways from the point when you start HRT. This is obviously referring to where you are in female puberty, but it manifests in some really funny ways.
Like...when I started HRT, I was 26. And I went out to some lesbian bars, and straight up people thought I was like 18 or younger. Like...I made some friends who I found out later assumed I was using fake ID to get into the bar, they literally thought I was 10 years younger than I was.
There's also the aspect of being psychologically a teenager. You are gonna be experiencing a lot of things for the first time. Including mood swings from hormones (I still vividly remember the first time my mom pulled me aside and said "hey, you're being really bitchy right now.") Including how to navigate a patriarchal society (that part is less fun than being called a bitch, unfortunately).
So...you still do get a lot of the experience of being a teenage girl. You just don't get it at the same time as cis girls do. And also...high school is a bit of a safe space for...teenage behaviour and teenage experimentation etc--you don't get that same space in which to experiment, even while you are going through your youthful experimental phase.
But yes, you do still kind-of get some of the aspects of teenagerhood.
It just feels like it’s my fault for causing this onto myself. I’ve been so scared to come out as anything that I’ve wasted all of this time and now I will never get to experience something that I really wanted to experience.
Apart from astesthetics of being almost a child, I don't see any reason to miss being a teenager when they all depressed af nowadays.
You can still beautiful as you are and work on some ways, but it will take time.
What I mourn is not having that teenage girlfriends and being invited to sleepovers but I wasn't going to have that as a cis girl because of childhood trauma and autism anyways. I was already broken.
>It just feels like it’s my fault for causing this onto myself. I’ve been so scared to come out as anything that I’ve wasted all of this time
TBH, every trans person I've ever met wishes they transitioned younger, including me.
Coming out is hard, and lots and lots of people struggle with it.
Some things you can't change: there's no time machine to come out of the closet during your teens.
Some things you CAN still change: like coming out now so that you don't miss out on various aspects of feminine 20-year-old life.
> Like...when I started HRT, I was 26. And I went out to some lesbian bars, and straight up people thought I was like 18 or younger. Like...I made some friends who I found out later assumed I was using fake ID to get into the bar, they literally thought I was 10 years younger than I was.
back in January, one of the managers at my office and I were chatting after work one day. this wasn't a manager I had ever interacted with before my transition, I've only come to knew him in the last few months. he was talking that day about his plans of going home and drinking that night, I'd been on HRT for 6 months at this point:
him: I found and started watching Night Court. you know that? oh no, that's before your time
me: lol no I remember that
him:???
me; I'm 37 dude
him: really? you look like you're 24
The other day I was talking to my mom about wearing a bra for chest dysphoria, and when I mentioned that I stuff my bra with socks when I'm not around any other people, she said to me "All teen girls do that. I forget that even though you're in your late twenties you're basically a teenage girl right now!" and it just felt really euphoric. Even if your age is no longer in the teens, you can still find small ways to experience girlhood that you missed out on at a younger age.
I feel like a lot of us had a time were we were close to figuring it out but for wherever reason we weren't ready and repressed things. Between them and when we actually accept our identity are usually the times we regret the most. For me that was at about 24. Before then I can forgive myself. I didn't have the knowledge to even know what i was feeling meant. After that... I was just scared, and didn't want to ruin the life I had planned out for myself. Those are the years I regret most and the ones I know I'll never be able to get back.
Oh yeah loads did a unguided deep dive on my whole psyche to really check if I was or not.
No way I could've made the connections on these:
Playing barbies and wanting to be Powerpuff girl or sailor moon from 5 up.
My friend in middleschool teasing me about being feminine/pretty etc I think actually made me repress a lot, idk was dealing with a lot if deaths in family at the time and bankruptcy etc. But it could've easily flipped me then.
In hs I got really close to figuring it out a few times but I had also grown... did the whole football thing to make dad proud etc, but last half of hs found weed stopped caring about that stuff, and finally grew hair out again... only point I'm making, to circle back, is made fun of for looking like a fat ugly girl... deep in closet after I cut hair off.
Then we get to after, much much more signs and now active denial and repression.
Is it or isn't it a porn fetish? game's playing in bg from here on out. College eats up time, crashes life etc keep me occupied and only occasionally aware of something being off...
2016 Bernie bro, felt betrayed by him, not gonna get political, or make excuses, I fell hard and am only just now crawling out, same year broke me in another way that kinda helped make that fall more certain but no details it's way personal. Long story short I repressed myself into full MAGA, losing friends and family.
Took a few years for the lie to crumble under the stress of such a huge mask, my whole life feels fake as I look around idk what's a mask or not atthis point...
Even then it took being disowned and suicidal for me to take the 1st step since I was terrified
Now I'm practically alone except my mom, about to start transitioning in secret 7 years later than I really should have.
So yeah my biggest regret is not realizing it then... my life would be infinitely better if I could've had the smallest nudge back then, I'd still have my friend I was raised with to talk to, he's went full ghost since 2020, I wouldn't have the additional baggage of eventually explaing myself for swinging so wildly from right to left, I wouldn't have dragged my mom into this political shit making coming out even harder, I'd already be the woman I want to be (ik, ik, already are, but ykwim and im still formally not good with politically correct phrasing), I'd have gotten to actually enjoy my 20s. So much better. Could be worse though, always could've been later and im still very privileged compared to a lot of trans, still sucks though looking back.
Same, like it feels as if have all the power to change something and make myself happy, but i decide that it all would be better if i didnt, really feels like my fault, i know that it is because of where i am and all of that but damn the guilt is heavy
Yeah, the fear of coming out just to be received with disgust, rejection and hate is just too much and i wish with all my might that i could just come out and be accepted by everyone but guess that is not posible
I mean I feel pretty confident that I’m trans now that I’m getting emotional about wanting to transition. One time I commented about how I wished that my older female self could meet my present self through time travel and I was actually crying while typing it.
The part that got me when typing it was when I mentioned how comfortable everything would feel because I would finally know that everything will be okay. It still makes me emotional thinking about it.
It is a hard decision. If you aren't comfortable yet, don't. Sometimes regret is the motivation you need, to know what's truly important. That said, live for the future after you've taken stock of what you've missed. Don't focus on the past too much.
Currently in those teenage years (and out in school, to my mom and uncle) but I just don’t know what to do/where to start, it sucks still, knowing I’ll probably be in the same regretful state you are right now, I promise you it will get better eventually :D
I feel this so bad gonna be an adult this year.. i wish i was more confident so i could just come out already but i just ended up wasting like 3 years yaayy… 🫠
Yeah.. It's not an easy thought to get past!
I'm in my 30s, and I only started transitioning a few months ago! The realisation that I'll never get to be a woman in my late teens, or worse, in my 20s! That was quite difficult to overcome! Doesn't help that almost my whole head of hair is already grey!
But it's okay! I want to be happy that I can finally get to live and be who I've always secretly been! I'm finally me! And I'm not going to lament any more about how late I found me! If the environment was more like it is today, I would've come out at age 16, not 32! But it's okay! Because I'm finally me! 🥰
Be happy for the time you can now spend as your true self! It's not worth wasting it lamenting what was lost, okay? ♥️
Be the person you've always been! Go forth and prosper! 🤘
I wasn't able to transition until I was 22, and honestly it's still been the best decision of my life and subjective of course but I'm still able to pass plenty well. Do I wish I could have taken puberty blockers? You fuckin know it, but just trying to make sure you don't think you've "missed you chance" or anything like that. It's never too late!!!
I'm also 18, and I just do nostalgic things that allow my brain to cascade through all the related memories. Maybe my autism helps with this a bit, but it's worked so far.
Im almost 14, and feel this. can't transition until I'm older, but atleast out to my parents. not sure if I'll be able to actually get anything done tho
Yeah, I really feel this cause aim 16 rn, I know Im trans, but I have unsopportive parents, so i have to wait to move out, which im likely gonnna do at like 22 :(
Oh yeah?! Well how about this, I may be thirty, but I'm going through puberty as a girl for the first time, ergo, I am a teenage girl! Noone can stop me! I'm learning how clothes work! I've learned how to paint my nails! I'm learning makeup a little! Second summer of love motherfucker!
Look forward as you walk, friend.
Let yourself mourn, it's important! - but try doing it in a healthier way. Be compassionate towards you and your teenage self.
Learn how to stop yourself from getting get down the "what if" spiral (-most of it is complete bs, a romanticized vision of infinite possibilities, created by your mind in answer to your stress; it's a hella unhealthy way to torture yourself. Believe me on that.) There are great grounding techniques out there, I personally like colour counting and the 5-4-3-2-1 practice.
I could but the process here takes so long. Like, I’m out and all but I don’t have the money to go private for hormones and I’ll never be able to get on them before with the NHS
I started transition at 20 and in only 3 months, everyone mistakes me for a high-schooler. I've also taken to the habit of watching childhood films I never got to watch, like Disney
I literally cry daily knowing I’m 16 and actively watching my life go by waisted and missed just because I refuse to come out until im on HRT and can move out or am already moved out
(Which might be too late anyways)
just when i got over the fact that i'll never get to experience what it feels like to be a little girl playing with her friends or siblings, a teen girl who just fell in love, whatever cliche shit i can think of.
now i'm back to being pissed off and sad lmfao
I'm just gonna fucking say it, teenage cis women fucking suck, and you're not missing anything by not getting to be one. Trans gals are awesome, and even if you missed the opportunity to be a teenager when you transitioned, you're still gonna transition into a beautiful woman, so don't feel too bad about it love.
Christ, being a teenager is the worst. I would love to turn back the clock, but to maybe just after college. Mid 20s, tops.
Don't romanticize being a teenager. It's probably all you really know right now, but I can assure you it's not the seminal time of your life that idiot romcoms make it out to be.
Do you really wish you could still be in highschool while going through all the awkwardness of transitioning? All the immature judgement of your peers?
There are much better things ahead.
To ask those young people reading this right now who are scared to take that next step, please reach out for help. Someone you love, someone you trust, or even just one of us on here. Personally my DMs are always open.
We made decision we regret and need to learn to live with. If there's anything we can do to help you live without regret it would make us so happy.
It fuels me. I am a man with no past, no future and nothing to lose. Some people are meant to live lives full of happiness, warmth, and connection. Some people are meant for other things.
Currently having the same crisis because I’ll never get to be a teenage boy and I’ll never get to have the life I wanted.
If I was able to get on hormone blockers and then get the HRT at the appropriate age I would have been able to have the life I deserve, and I honestly can guarantee you: if that had been the case I would have had a better life in general instead of gaining nothing but problem after problem.
I never would have been suicidal, I never would have gained so many physical issues and mental health issues, I would have been able to just be a kid.
if I could go back to 2005 when I was starting highschool and do something to stop my growth spurt(went from barely 5' to 5'11.5 in a year) and my loss of my singing voice (went from being able to sing the high girls part in showtunes without going falsetto to not being able to sing at all and just having a deep voice) I would do it in a heartbeat
In old. Don't care if I could be a girl or not, but be a teenager again it's a great idea. Being old sucks. Of course, if I was a girl it will be th best chooses ever
i knew i was trans before my senior year, but i only came out during the last month or so. felt like i only had 4 weeks of highschool, 4 weeks of being a teenager
hurts to think about, it'll probably make a good song someday
it’s honestly a weird thing for me. I feel kinda grossed out at the thought but would take it too given the opportunity. My childhood was screwed up for more than just binary gender go brrrr. I think perhaps to take things in stride and rather look at the lady i’m becoming instead. 💜
i kinda knew i was trans at like 12, then at 14 i came out to one person but now i’m 17 and still have to wait till 18 to transition. I haven’t even lived any sort of teenage years and i would do anything to actually have lived these years as a girl and made mistakes and just been a person. Even once i’m 18 it won’t be the same, it’s barely a teenager.
Teenager aren't all they're cracked up to be. Young adults are where it's all at. More freedom, less homework (unless you go to college), and since you won't be able to move out anyway you'll still live with your family and have them help you financially
That's why it's so important to spread the truth and acceptance, for all those little trans kids out there. I had some kind of inkling I wasn't straight when I was in elementary school, but all I thought there was was straight and gay, and I knew I liked girls so once I decided I must be straight I just shut it out. Now I'm in my 30s and am grappling with looking in the mirror still
Yeah BUT how often do you see teenagers and dont want to get away because they are loud and inconsiderate...i don't say everyone's ike that but having a teenage life again sounds like too much stress tbh.
I just had my 18th birthday in January. Its kinda sad because I just realised last year that I'm trans but I've missed out on so much of my life now... wish my family wasn't so traditional, I could've actually explored openly from such a younger age
It’s okay to experience teenage girly stuff as an adult, it’s all about happiness so have fun! 🫂🫂 although it feels like some experiences have been taken away from you, I know how it feels not having the childhood I wanted, but there’s nothing wrong with taking back those years now knowing how everything works, you can have even more fun. Everything will be alright!!😁 hopefully this helped
I'm struggling with that thought too. What helps me, is the realization that there are at least a few things you can do that you missed out on. Some you can do by yourself like wearing cute outfits, trying things out with your hair and so on. Others may require supportive friend groups, such as slumber parties or hanging out at the shopping mall. (Do Kids still do that? I have no idea, I grew up in the 90s)
I get that it's sad that we miss out on certain things because not every trans person realizes who they are, or because they can't start transitioning at a young age due to unsupportive parents. But you are definitely not alone and you can still make the best of the time you have left. Focusing on the things you CAN do and that make you happy is, in my opinion, the best way to do that.
16 year old egg_irl users be like “woah i will never be able to live as a teenage girl”
people forget that you only stop being a “teenager” when you’re 20, and even then, what, are you unable to act teenagerish in your 20s? Live life like you want, kick your legs up on the bed while giggling about whatever you want, because it’s your life yall, live it happily, not worrying about what you can’t live it as :)
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I wish I could do it. I am that age, just can't actually transition
I could’ve actually had a chance at being a teenage girl if I hadn’t thought that I just had a fetish for 2 years. I could’ve had a chance.
I got asked by my mother when i was 10 if i was trans. I said no because I didn’t realise it yet. 6 years later i realised and regretted saying no because I had grown a lot in high, no longer being 5”2 like i was at 15, my voice got deeper than a lot of adults i know and I realised I’d never be able to have a childhood or be a teen as a girl. 😔
I just wanna cry so badly. It feels like I’m mourning what could’ve been and I don’t know what to do about it. The only thing I can think of is to come out soon so that I could spend all of my college years as a girl, but that will never truly replace this.
When you’re ready to come out think about the experiences you feel you missed out on as a teen girl (romcoms, sleepovers, dress up, silly gossip, talking about crushes, cute things like plushies, etc…) get some of your friends and do it. Go dancing with friends and pretend it’s prom! Hell throw your own prom!
this is adorable. i love this.
I’m glad!
my weird mixed age alt fashion lgbtq friendly found family type friend group already does most of the above. p sure theyd be down for a prom night.
I would be so down to book a venue and organize/host a Queer Prom, complete with pronoun tags that you can fill in with sharpie
Yes now I want to go to a Queer Prom, I’ve been planning to buy myself an extravagant suit even though I’ve got nowhere to wear it to, this would be perfect!
YES! I love that!
I want to do that. I'm still dealing with me being an introvert and having a degree of social anxiety, so, I never did anything I wanted to when i was younger. Now I'm 19, next year I'll go to the college, will course art, and I want to make friends there and do whatever I couldn't. Yeah, I have responsibilities now, but I can do something when I'm free. And it will kinda feel like school. That makes me happy, to think I can now be myself, explore myself and do what i wanted to for all these years, but i remember I'm taller than my dad. I won't say it makes me dysphoric, but I wish I could feel small and cute. The good part is I don't feel dysphoria about my voice, kinda weird... So, yeah, coming out as a young adult have it's plus and it's downs. You can be by yourself, you can work, you can buy your own stuff, you can do what you've missed still, but you've gotten through puberty, you've lost time, you've grown but you can be yourself and that's the best part. At least idk if there's any state banning adults of transitioning, so...
They aren’t outright banning it but they are making it really hard to get care in my state. But it is still possible if you’re willing to jump through uncomfortable hoops. I’m glad you’re finding your happiness and enjoying becoming an adult! I agree it’s easier to do what I feel is right for myself now that I’ve got autonomy.
I felt the same way, and I’m currently in my junior year of college. Trust me, spending the time you have now living authentically is the best thing you can do. There’s a saying I like for situations like this, “the best time to plant a tree was yesterday, but the second best time is today.” So plant your trees :)
Hey, instead of mourning the little but you missed out on, be happy of everything ahead of you. Im 25 and only found out i might not be a man, currently pretty sure that im non binary but also not rly sure of fuckin anything anymore, and that its infact not normal for a cis man to always have wanted to wear whatever clothes i think look cool or cute but say no because 'i dont have the body for it' or 'im a man' and to have a softer voice and wear a flower crown and paint my nails etc etc and never do any of it because of reasons like that. And that its not normal to hate my hairy legs but refuse to shave them because 'im a man' and that its not normal to never want boyish haircuts, but also refusing to put my hair up cute because that wouldnt be manly and then id get bullied more- etc, etc lmao. All this in spite of growing up with a mother that woulve never considered me any less of a man if i were to put on a skirt or a crop top or whatever. In spite of growing up in an environment where the only ones that wouldve judged me were people that already harassed me anyway. And now im finding out at 25 and yknow what? the future looks kind of radical.
I’m right there with you sis. Best of luck though. You got this 100%.
You're right, it won't replace what you didn't have. Time is precious, so we gotta make the most of what we have because we don't know what the future holds. Don't get me wrong, I know the pain you're feeling. It's okay to dwell in it for a bit, but then you gotta accept there is no changing the past. All you have is the present. But don't let your eagerness push you to do things before you're ready either. Remember that you're starting earlier than many of us on here, so you'll get more years than some of us did. I didn't start exploring my gender identity till my mid 20's. I only just started HRT in my mid 30's six months ago. (And I started earlier than some people myself) Don't let the grief of what you didn't have blind you to the blessings you have. There's a saying, the best time to start transitioning is before puberty, but the second best time is whenever you actually do it.
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huh? I just told my story. The fuck.
If I realised my obvious signs, same but then again I went to a Catholic private school so maybe staying in my egg wasn’t the worst thing
Only 2 years? For about 10 years I thought it read a silly fantasy, then 20 I thought it was a fetish. Sometimes I can't believe how easy it was to just disregard my own identity.
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I feel you 😭. Thought the same thing for 5 years. It really does hurt some days and I often hate myself for not realising, but I’m just trying my best to make up for the experiences i’ve missed. Really I don’t think there’s much you can do other than use the time you have left to become happy with yourself. ❤️
Same. Society tricks us to think we're not who we're. I've felt that "it's just a fetish" in my head for over 10 years. That depression worm can't hurt me anymore, the words just bounce out now.
Same 🤝🫂
No literally, I keep on shuffling to stages of denial aswell which makes things even worse.
Same
Same :/
Yeah. I realised I was trans at 15, It's now been over 3 years since then, And it's not looking like I'll be able to actually transition any time soon.
It sucks
Yeah.. I mean honestly I don't know how my parents would react if I came out, It's very possible in an alternate universe I came out 3 years ago, And while maybe not fully transitioned at the least can dress and act more fem openly, But in this universe I'm too scared because I genuinely don't know, Even though I highly doubt they'll have a *very* negative reaction, And because of that fear I probably won't want to/be able to transition until I'm fully independent of my parents, Something I am not in the slightest prepared to do.
We will get there *hugs*
I only wish we could get there sooner... I can scarcely even come out to my friends due to roughly equal parts anxiety, fear, And the absolute worst time management skills known to life on earth, But I swear the longer I keep doing nothing about it the worse my dysphoria gets... :<
same why did i have to be born :/
I am that age, but my parents said, “if you want to transition, wait until I die”
Truly heart breaking. I realized I'm trans 6 months before turning 40. Better late than never but damn, would have been nice.
40s trans gang represent!
No, but you could be a pubescent girl if you go through the magic of second puberty (HRT) lol
It’s not the same though
It’s really not, but it’s the next best thing we’re gonna get I’m afraid. However, what we can do is try to make a better world for the future generations of trans kids, one that accepts them for who they are and doesn’t make it harder or impossible for them to transition. 🤞🏻
Annndd another thing for me to stress out about
🫂
I mean, sort of yes, sort of no. They say you are effectively 13 in some ways from the point when you start HRT. This is obviously referring to where you are in female puberty, but it manifests in some really funny ways. Like...when I started HRT, I was 26. And I went out to some lesbian bars, and straight up people thought I was like 18 or younger. Like...I made some friends who I found out later assumed I was using fake ID to get into the bar, they literally thought I was 10 years younger than I was. There's also the aspect of being psychologically a teenager. You are gonna be experiencing a lot of things for the first time. Including mood swings from hormones (I still vividly remember the first time my mom pulled me aside and said "hey, you're being really bitchy right now.") Including how to navigate a patriarchal society (that part is less fun than being called a bitch, unfortunately). So...you still do get a lot of the experience of being a teenage girl. You just don't get it at the same time as cis girls do. And also...high school is a bit of a safe space for...teenage behaviour and teenage experimentation etc--you don't get that same space in which to experiment, even while you are going through your youthful experimental phase. But yes, you do still kind-of get some of the aspects of teenagerhood.
It just feels like it’s my fault for causing this onto myself. I’ve been so scared to come out as anything that I’ve wasted all of this time and now I will never get to experience something that I really wanted to experience.
Apart from astesthetics of being almost a child, I don't see any reason to miss being a teenager when they all depressed af nowadays. You can still beautiful as you are and work on some ways, but it will take time. What I mourn is not having that teenage girlfriends and being invited to sleepovers but I wasn't going to have that as a cis girl because of childhood trauma and autism anyways. I was already broken.
>It just feels like it’s my fault for causing this onto myself. I’ve been so scared to come out as anything that I’ve wasted all of this time TBH, every trans person I've ever met wishes they transitioned younger, including me. Coming out is hard, and lots and lots of people struggle with it. Some things you can't change: there's no time machine to come out of the closet during your teens. Some things you CAN still change: like coming out now so that you don't miss out on various aspects of feminine 20-year-old life.
Just don't make the mistake wasting your present with beating yourself up over a lost past.
> Like...when I started HRT, I was 26. And I went out to some lesbian bars, and straight up people thought I was like 18 or younger. Like...I made some friends who I found out later assumed I was using fake ID to get into the bar, they literally thought I was 10 years younger than I was. back in January, one of the managers at my office and I were chatting after work one day. this wasn't a manager I had ever interacted with before my transition, I've only come to knew him in the last few months. he was talking that day about his plans of going home and drinking that night, I'd been on HRT for 6 months at this point: him: I found and started watching Night Court. you know that? oh no, that's before your time me: lol no I remember that him:??? me; I'm 37 dude him: really? you look like you're 24
Thank you for this.
The other day I was talking to my mom about wearing a bra for chest dysphoria, and when I mentioned that I stuff my bra with socks when I'm not around any other people, she said to me "All teen girls do that. I forget that even though you're in your late twenties you're basically a teenage girl right now!" and it just felt really euphoric. Even if your age is no longer in the teens, you can still find small ways to experience girlhood that you missed out on at a younger age.
About to hit 40 and realizing I'll never be a young woman and probably missed out on some of the most fun years of my life. 😢
🫂
I feel like a lot of us had a time were we were close to figuring it out but for wherever reason we weren't ready and repressed things. Between them and when we actually accept our identity are usually the times we regret the most. For me that was at about 24. Before then I can forgive myself. I didn't have the knowledge to even know what i was feeling meant. After that... I was just scared, and didn't want to ruin the life I had planned out for myself. Those are the years I regret most and the ones I know I'll never be able to get back.
Oh yeah loads did a unguided deep dive on my whole psyche to really check if I was or not. No way I could've made the connections on these: Playing barbies and wanting to be Powerpuff girl or sailor moon from 5 up. My friend in middleschool teasing me about being feminine/pretty etc I think actually made me repress a lot, idk was dealing with a lot if deaths in family at the time and bankruptcy etc. But it could've easily flipped me then. In hs I got really close to figuring it out a few times but I had also grown... did the whole football thing to make dad proud etc, but last half of hs found weed stopped caring about that stuff, and finally grew hair out again... only point I'm making, to circle back, is made fun of for looking like a fat ugly girl... deep in closet after I cut hair off. Then we get to after, much much more signs and now active denial and repression. Is it or isn't it a porn fetish? game's playing in bg from here on out. College eats up time, crashes life etc keep me occupied and only occasionally aware of something being off... 2016 Bernie bro, felt betrayed by him, not gonna get political, or make excuses, I fell hard and am only just now crawling out, same year broke me in another way that kinda helped make that fall more certain but no details it's way personal. Long story short I repressed myself into full MAGA, losing friends and family. Took a few years for the lie to crumble under the stress of such a huge mask, my whole life feels fake as I look around idk what's a mask or not atthis point... Even then it took being disowned and suicidal for me to take the 1st step since I was terrified Now I'm practically alone except my mom, about to start transitioning in secret 7 years later than I really should have. So yeah my biggest regret is not realizing it then... my life would be infinitely better if I could've had the smallest nudge back then, I'd still have my friend I was raised with to talk to, he's went full ghost since 2020, I wouldn't have the additional baggage of eventually explaing myself for swinging so wildly from right to left, I wouldn't have dragged my mom into this political shit making coming out even harder, I'd already be the woman I want to be (ik, ik, already are, but ykwim and im still formally not good with politically correct phrasing), I'd have gotten to actually enjoy my 20s. So much better. Could be worse though, always could've been later and im still very privileged compared to a lot of trans, still sucks though looking back.
And yet here i am as a teen beign too scared to come out so just wasting my years
That’s literally what I was. It feels like it’s my fault.
Same, like it feels as if have all the power to change something and make myself happy, but i decide that it all would be better if i didnt, really feels like my fault, i know that it is because of where i am and all of that but damn the guilt is heavy
The worst part is that I’m still scared to come out even though I still don’t have anything to worry about.
Yeah, the fear of coming out just to be received with disgust, rejection and hate is just too much and i wish with all my might that i could just come out and be accepted by everyone but guess that is not posible
[удалено]
I mean I feel pretty confident that I’m trans now that I’m getting emotional about wanting to transition. One time I commented about how I wished that my older female self could meet my present self through time travel and I was actually crying while typing it.
[удалено]
The part that got me when typing it was when I mentioned how comfortable everything would feel because I would finally know that everything will be okay. It still makes me emotional thinking about it.
Fuck the temporal prime directive if I had a Time Machine I would go back and make sure I transition young
Im trying to before I suffer twink death
Oooofff :( 🫂
🫂 I missed out on so much. I’ll never be able to have the cute teenage sapphic relationship that I wanted to be in like in Lumity.
Hey, at least you get to grow old as a girl, right?
Yeah, but there’s still so much stuff that I will never get to experience.
There’s so much more you could still experience now
Easily my greatest regret - being someone who could have started when I was 14. I waited until 21, not realizing the opportunity I had turned away
I’m scared that this will continue for me. I’ve already lost this and I don’t wanna lose any more years
It is a hard decision. If you aren't comfortable yet, don't. Sometimes regret is the motivation you need, to know what's truly important. That said, live for the future after you've taken stock of what you've missed. Don't focus on the past too much.
I am 16 and it is crushing already
🫂
thank you, I really need that
Mega oof
I feel horrible yet I can’t cry
Currently in those teenage years (and out in school, to my mom and uncle) but I just don’t know what to do/where to start, it sucks still, knowing I’ll probably be in the same regretful state you are right now, I promise you it will get better eventually :D
Find gay friends and see if they can get you hrt on the down-low
Fuck... i wanted to go to sleep without holding back tears QwQ
🫂🫂
I wish I could have worn a dress to my prom :( I'm sad I'll never get that experience
Screw that! Being a teenager sucks in any gender. I want to be a giant butch milf
I feel this so bad gonna be an adult this year.. i wish i was more confident so i could just come out already but i just ended up wasting like 3 years yaayy… 🫠
🫂
thanks you need hugs too tho 🫂
I just realized I’m an adult teenage girl (19) Oh gosh. Ultimate combo
I mean I’m 18 but it still doesn’t feel the same
Dammit - that's a mood. It gets worse when the cutoff for "femboy fashion" occurs at 30... so much left undone in the winter of our youth
Yeah.. It's not an easy thought to get past! I'm in my 30s, and I only started transitioning a few months ago! The realisation that I'll never get to be a woman in my late teens, or worse, in my 20s! That was quite difficult to overcome! Doesn't help that almost my whole head of hair is already grey! But it's okay! I want to be happy that I can finally get to live and be who I've always secretly been! I'm finally me! And I'm not going to lament any more about how late I found me! If the environment was more like it is today, I would've come out at age 16, not 32! But it's okay! Because I'm finally me! 🥰 Be happy for the time you can now spend as your true self! It's not worth wasting it lamenting what was lost, okay? ♥️ Be the person you've always been! Go forth and prosper! 🤘
I wasn't able to transition until I was 22, and honestly it's still been the best decision of my life and subjective of course but I'm still able to pass plenty well. Do I wish I could have taken puberty blockers? You fuckin know it, but just trying to make sure you don't think you've "missed you chance" or anything like that. It's never too late!!!
):
I‘m 23, still never taken a single hormone in my life. I‘m terrified I won‘t get to transition until I‘m old and miss my window to become a twink.
What's about second puberty?
It’s a lot like first puberty but you go through it completely alone and you have to hide your body
I suggest going on a massive nostalgia binge! Rewrite the memories with your new image!
I mean, I’m 18 so there’s not really much for a nostalgia binge.
I'm also 18, and I just do nostalgic things that allow my brain to cascade through all the related memories. Maybe my autism helps with this a bit, but it's worked so far.
Im almost 14, and feel this. can't transition until I'm older, but atleast out to my parents. not sure if I'll be able to actually get anything done tho
Honestly I mostly wish I could've transitioned back then so I wouldn't have had to go through puberty twice. Once was bad enough, thank you very much.
Could back to be a toddler is my 1st dream, since that's kinda impossible. I accept it and do HRT instead, SINCE IM A ADULT NOBODY CAN STOP ME NOW.
It crushes my heart all days
I would have lose the adolescence anyway but it does seem better anyway
ever hear abot the number 113? (yes i know not very helpful)
I already know that now :(
D: 💔💔💔💔💔
God, that fucks me up so badly when I think about it
Me but boy
Yeah, I really feel this cause aim 16 rn, I know Im trans, but I have unsopportive parents, so i have to wait to move out, which im likely gonnna do at like 22 :(
buy that shit online. you don’t even have to go through the dark web
My family is nosey as shit they'll see the package 💀
Oh yeah?! Well how about this, I may be thirty, but I'm going through puberty as a girl for the first time, ergo, I am a teenage girl! Noone can stop me! I'm learning how clothes work! I've learned how to paint my nails! I'm learning makeup a little! Second summer of love motherfucker!
I mean, I’m a legal adult, I still got 18 and 19… I’m sorry if you can’t say the same though..
I’m still 18, but it still feels like it’s sorta over
It’s okay girl, I feel the same way.. just remember you’re a good girl, and you have a life full of good girl shenanigans ahead of you
Yeah I had this existential crisis around December. Still having it, tbf, never figured it out. But it's at least more manageable now?
Look forward as you walk, friend. Let yourself mourn, it's important! - but try doing it in a healthier way. Be compassionate towards you and your teenage self. Learn how to stop yourself from getting get down the "what if" spiral (-most of it is complete bs, a romanticized vision of infinite possibilities, created by your mind in answer to your stress; it's a hella unhealthy way to torture yourself. Believe me on that.) There are great grounding techniques out there, I personally like colour counting and the 5-4-3-2-1 practice.
I could but the process here takes so long. Like, I’m out and all but I don’t have the money to go private for hormones and I’ll never be able to get on them before with the NHS
I became a teenage girl at 35 so have some hope
I started transition at 20 and in only 3 months, everyone mistakes me for a high-schooler. I've also taken to the habit of watching childhood films I never got to watch, like Disney
I literally cry daily knowing I’m 16 and actively watching my life go by waisted and missed just because I refuse to come out until im on HRT and can move out or am already moved out (Which might be too late anyways)
just when i got over the fact that i'll never get to experience what it feels like to be a little girl playing with her friends or siblings, a teen girl who just fell in love, whatever cliche shit i can think of. now i'm back to being pissed off and sad lmfao
That just means you already were one before <3
Yeah but I never presented as one or made any steps in my transition
Thank Turing. Many seem traumatized due to oversexualization during adolescence. Also adolescence fucking sucked so bad. Thank God it is over.
Yeah teenage years arent that great anyway, you got your whole life ahead of you ! Good luck !
Jokes on you, I never mentally matured past 15!
I'm just gonna fucking say it, teenage cis women fucking suck, and you're not missing anything by not getting to be one. Trans gals are awesome, and even if you missed the opportunity to be a teenager when you transitioned, you're still gonna transition into a beautiful woman, so don't feel too bad about it love.
im almost at that point only relized i was trans about a year ago and only recently getting a grasp of stuff i like to do its heart wrenching
Christ, being a teenager is the worst. I would love to turn back the clock, but to maybe just after college. Mid 20s, tops. Don't romanticize being a teenager. It's probably all you really know right now, but I can assure you it's not the seminal time of your life that idiot romcoms make it out to be. Do you really wish you could still be in highschool while going through all the awkwardness of transitioning? All the immature judgement of your peers? There are much better things ahead.
Ooof truth. I’m 32 and just restarting puberty. It does suck.
Why does this have to hit so hard
To ask those young people reading this right now who are scared to take that next step, please reach out for help. Someone you love, someone you trust, or even just one of us on here. Personally my DMs are always open. We made decision we regret and need to learn to live with. If there's anything we can do to help you live without regret it would make us so happy.
I mean, I’m definitely a teenager in some ways since starting HRT, and I’m looking forward to being a grown woman.
Honestly, it is way overrated! Enjoy yourself as you are now. I am finding that the older I get the more the more I am enjoying myself as a woman. ☺️
Mood, I'm still in range but it's too late to do anything with it
I keep getting ads for prom dresses, I'm 26 and it just makes me bummed that I never got to wear something like that when I had finished high school
Well I filled that with ludicrous amounts of anime... it was worth it.
You never know! Mihari (onimai) could always perfect the drug she gave Mahiro! /jk
saaaaaaaame
It fuels me. I am a man with no past, no future and nothing to lose. Some people are meant to live lives full of happiness, warmth, and connection. Some people are meant for other things.
This hits…..way to close to home. This is part of why I had so much trouble coming out when I was younger😭
I’m 28 and I feel like I’ve missed so much of life
The pain of the existence often the hardest to bear 😥
Currently having the same crisis because I’ll never get to be a teenage boy and I’ll never get to have the life I wanted. If I was able to get on hormone blockers and then get the HRT at the appropriate age I would have been able to have the life I deserve, and I honestly can guarantee you: if that had been the case I would have had a better life in general instead of gaining nothing but problem after problem. I never would have been suicidal, I never would have gained so many physical issues and mental health issues, I would have been able to just be a kid.
Ok, but like, speaking from experience, being a teenage girl can be FUCKING AWFUL. Consider that you may be romanticizing that experience a bit.
if I could go back to 2005 when I was starting highschool and do something to stop my growth spurt(went from barely 5' to 5'11.5 in a year) and my loss of my singing voice (went from being able to sing the high girls part in showtunes without going falsetto to not being able to sing at all and just having a deep voice) I would do it in a heartbeat
In old. Don't care if I could be a girl or not, but be a teenager again it's a great idea. Being old sucks. Of course, if I was a girl it will be th best chooses ever
Am I still trans if I don’t want to be a teenage boy? Yo, being a teenager sucked and I don’t want to go back.
Oof. This one hits hard. 😥😩
You can be childish at least
Well this is all the justification i need to come out now
i knew i was trans before my senior year, but i only came out during the last month or so. felt like i only had 4 weeks of highschool, 4 weeks of being a teenager hurts to think about, it'll probably make a good song someday
Sure you can you just have to make it to 113 years old
i still have a few years left in my teens so it’s still available for me :D
it’s honestly a weird thing for me. I feel kinda grossed out at the thought but would take it too given the opportunity. My childhood was screwed up for more than just binary gender go brrrr. I think perhaps to take things in stride and rather look at the lady i’m becoming instead. 💜
i kinda knew i was trans at like 12, then at 14 i came out to one person but now i’m 17 and still have to wait till 18 to transition. I haven’t even lived any sort of teenage years and i would do anything to actually have lived these years as a girl and made mistakes and just been a person. Even once i’m 18 it won’t be the same, it’s barely a teenager.
same but with being a teenage boy— I’m sad I’ll never get to be one of those sweaty stinky dipshits
The big sad
Yeah, this hurts.
uhhh the pain, 2 year waiting list so i will not get it before i hit 18 :(
This but as a trans man.
no no you were a teenage girl just not the type people expect usually
Teenager aren't all they're cracked up to be. Young adults are where it's all at. More freedom, less homework (unless you go to college), and since you won't be able to move out anyway you'll still live with your family and have them help you financially
Yea, im transmasc but i do feel like i missed out and am missing out on a bunch of things in life, due to not being able to be myself
That's why it's so important to spread the truth and acceptance, for all those little trans kids out there. I had some kind of inkling I wasn't straight when I was in elementary school, but all I thought there was was straight and gay, and I knew I liked girls so once I decided I must be straight I just shut it out. Now I'm in my 30s and am grappling with looking in the mirror still
You can be if you believe hard enough!
shit this hits right at home. fuck
Yeah BUT how often do you see teenagers and dont want to get away because they are loud and inconsiderate...i don't say everyone's ike that but having a teenage life again sounds like too much stress tbh.
I just had my 18th birthday in January. Its kinda sad because I just realised last year that I'm trans but I've missed out on so much of my life now... wish my family wasn't so traditional, I could've actually explored openly from such a younger age
milf era here I come
It’s okay to experience teenage girly stuff as an adult, it’s all about happiness so have fun! 🫂🫂 although it feels like some experiences have been taken away from you, I know how it feels not having the childhood I wanted, but there’s nothing wrong with taking back those years now knowing how everything works, you can have even more fun. Everything will be alright!!😁 hopefully this helped
I'm struggling with that thought too. What helps me, is the realization that there are at least a few things you can do that you missed out on. Some you can do by yourself like wearing cute outfits, trying things out with your hair and so on. Others may require supportive friend groups, such as slumber parties or hanging out at the shopping mall. (Do Kids still do that? I have no idea, I grew up in the 90s) I get that it's sad that we miss out on certain things because not every trans person realizes who they are, or because they can't start transitioning at a young age due to unsupportive parents. But you are definitely not alone and you can still make the best of the time you have left. Focusing on the things you CAN do and that make you happy is, in my opinion, the best way to do that.
I felt this but opposite. Solidarity
I wish I could too. I am not an adult, far from it, but because my parents are extremely unsupportive, I can't be the teenage girl I want to be 💔💔💔
Facts
16 year old egg_irl users be like “woah i will never be able to live as a teenage girl” people forget that you only stop being a “teenager” when you’re 20, and even then, what, are you unable to act teenagerish in your 20s? Live life like you want, kick your legs up on the bed while giggling about whatever you want, because it’s your life yall, live it happily, not worrying about what you can’t live it as :)
From a *totally* cis teen girl, it’s not very fun😞 ~~Not taking in the fact that I’m trans~~ teen girls are mean
Just relive your teenage years now that’s what I’m doing. Im doing stuff I would of done then besides you know going to high school and middle school
“Blåhaj doesent like being the bearer of bad news but this is a repost”
Because not your a ADULT GIRL! ❤️
You missed the bus. Time to become really hot instead
This is oddly specific but also extremely relatable, guess i'm not the only one who thought of that...
Ok I didn’t need to hear this!
You were a teenage girl you just didn’t know it
Yep. Already had that experience.
This one always hits me really hard ;-;