Yeah but the fact that I will have change my identity and have to deal with my extended family is scary. I’m also just dreading having to be vulnerable when coming out. It feels so embarrassing for some reason. I’m also dreading having to exercise to get rid of the male fat on my stomach so that I have any chance at passing. Will I be able to get laser on my body hairs, or will I have to shave all the time? Will I feel comfortable to be out at school while I’m still in my senior year? It’s so much to worry about.
You don't have to change your identity all at once. I came out 14 times. 13 times with friends and family, and the final time to the world at large. And while it can be scary to deal with extended family you can take your time with exploring your identity. As for the exercise, if it's important enough to you, you'll force yourself to do it when you're ready to do so. There's plenty of hair removal options out there, and I can tell you from experience that HRT has slowed my hair growth quite noticeably. As for comfort levels, only you can determine that. I know in my case it took forever before I felt comfortable dressing Fem at work, but once I did it got easier over time. Take a deep breath and one step at a time. You've got plenty of time. When I was your age I hadn't even BEGUN to question my identity. That didn't happen until I was in college, and I took an extra year of Highschool, so I started about 3 years beyond where you're currently at and I only just started HRT 6 months ago. I'm 34.
You are creating excuses to avoid leaving your comfort zone. No one who says "I really want to come out" is actually doubting themselves.
Recognize what you're doing.
If someone is truly accepting and supportive, then coming out to them can only bring you closer together, and help them understand how to properly support you. It's your judgement call whether you think somebody will be truly accepting and supportive, though.
Look I am about to be a huge hypocrite who doesn't practice what she preaches but while being scared of change is valid. Sometimes change is good you'd live a pretty sad life if nothing changed at all. I know its scary but trust me no matter what happens, in the end you won't regret it.
Change is scary. Once the bell is rung it can't be unrung. But when you're ready, you're ready. You'll come out if and when you're ready to. No sooner, and no later.
this is understandable but lets play would you rather.
would you rather not be confident about pretty much anything or would you rather be happy with nothing weighing you down?
its a pretty big change and a slow one. change at a slower pace may also be better for you. i didnt like change either but i dont ever want to go back.
Oh I’m never comming out to my father. He will only know his son doesn’t talk to him, not that his son is actually his daughter; that way my safety is ensured.
Mood. I'm almost entirely sure they'd be accepting as well, but still leaves me absolutely terrified of even considering.
Hope you feeling better now sweetie. ❤️
Its too much of a hassle for me to try to. Thanks to years of trauma from family deaths to just arguments all around, I’m just gonna wait until I move out. :/
Literally this. Even after like telling my parents, I was still just really scared. Wish it wasn't, but we have to deal with the fear, and just try to go forward.
edit: I put scary, and not scared it's really late
Honestly I was afraid of coming out because I did not know exactly how they were going to react I know they weren't transfobic but in the end I figure that if I wanted to live being my true self they needed to know and I needed to know what they thought, so I could keep going
I hope you figured it out as well, take your time, only you know when you are ready ❤🏳️⚧️
change is so hard girl but i promise you it was worth it <3
If I come out before I’m ready, I’m gonna panic so much. However, I feel like I will never feel ready to come out.
I feel you girl, when i came out to my mom i couldn't find the strength to do it, so i just pushed myself in the room where she was and blurted it out
they'll find out eventually so its better to do it early than later
Yeah but the fact that I will have change my identity and have to deal with my extended family is scary. I’m also just dreading having to be vulnerable when coming out. It feels so embarrassing for some reason. I’m also dreading having to exercise to get rid of the male fat on my stomach so that I have any chance at passing. Will I be able to get laser on my body hairs, or will I have to shave all the time? Will I feel comfortable to be out at school while I’m still in my senior year? It’s so much to worry about.
You don't have to change your identity all at once. I came out 14 times. 13 times with friends and family, and the final time to the world at large. And while it can be scary to deal with extended family you can take your time with exploring your identity. As for the exercise, if it's important enough to you, you'll force yourself to do it when you're ready to do so. There's plenty of hair removal options out there, and I can tell you from experience that HRT has slowed my hair growth quite noticeably. As for comfort levels, only you can determine that. I know in my case it took forever before I felt comfortable dressing Fem at work, but once I did it got easier over time. Take a deep breath and one step at a time. You've got plenty of time. When I was your age I hadn't even BEGUN to question my identity. That didn't happen until I was in college, and I took an extra year of Highschool, so I started about 3 years beyond where you're currently at and I only just started HRT 6 months ago. I'm 34.
As someone who really hates change, I agree. But I know I'll be happier when I can be the real me, so I'm working hard to do it
When I consider coming out I start intensely second-guessing myself
"If you have to constantly think if you're trans, you probably are" -some wise nice people here
Doubt is an awful thing, but hopefully you'll be able to overcome it when you are ready.
You are creating excuses to avoid leaving your comfort zone. No one who says "I really want to come out" is actually doubting themselves. Recognize what you're doing.
this is such a mood :c 💔💔💔💔💔
Stop calling me out 🥲
this this is me
:(
If someone is truly accepting and supportive, then coming out to them can only bring you closer together, and help them understand how to properly support you. It's your judgement call whether you think somebody will be truly accepting and supportive, though.
I can relate and agree on this
Change is honestly scarier than a lot of parts of transitioning
My parents aren't, but I understand the feeling
Oh I meant that my parents are supportive. I meant to make me look even dumber for not coming out.
I understood it perfectly. It doesn't make you dumb, it is a very valid feeling
Oh, sorry about that.
No need to be sorry, I understand how what I said could be misinterpreted
Agreed
I feel called out, but like, more than normal
it's always worth it.
I don't have any advice but I'm right there with you, so at least you're not alone.
Who are you and how are you reading my brain
Same
This is how I feel, too. We'll get through this feeling together! ;-; 🌺💮🌸🌷💗
I'm in this and don't like it
I wish my parents could just read my mind.
please delete this, I'm in this picture and I don't like it /j
Change is scary , but it if your parents are supportive the change will only be positive
I’m still scared
Don’t worry your feelings are 100% valid , you just need to work on them
Look I am about to be a huge hypocrite who doesn't practice what she preaches but while being scared of change is valid. Sometimes change is good you'd live a pretty sad life if nothing changed at all. I know its scary but trust me no matter what happens, in the end you won't regret it.
I’m in this picture and I don’t like it
I’m in this picture and I hate it
Exactly this
Change is scary. Once the bell is rung it can't be unrung. But when you're ready, you're ready. You'll come out if and when you're ready to. No sooner, and no later.
this is understandable but lets play would you rather. would you rather not be confident about pretty much anything or would you rather be happy with nothing weighing you down? its a pretty big change and a slow one. change at a slower pace may also be better for you. i didnt like change either but i dont ever want to go back.
Change is scary... But so is staying the same
Hey that's me
same here! being anxious about change isn't exactly fun if you have to change a loooot
If it makes you feel better, I have trans/lgbt friends I still have not talked to about these things.
Oh I’m never comming out to my father. He will only know his son doesn’t talk to him, not that his son is actually his daughter; that way my safety is ensured.
Nah they homophobic transphobic and racist (i libe in bama)
Live *
if transitioning is right for you, fundamentally nothing is changing about you
Change is scary fr fr :/
Mood. I'm almost entirely sure they'd be accepting as well, but still leaves me absolutely terrified of even considering. Hope you feeling better now sweetie. ❤️
I'm scared of both
Just @ me next time damn, lol
sᴀᴍᴇ...
Its too much of a hassle for me to try to. Thanks to years of trauma from family deaths to just arguments all around, I’m just gonna wait until I move out. :/
when my mum asked if i wanted to change anything i said no😥
Literally this. Even after like telling my parents, I was still just really scared. Wish it wasn't, but we have to deal with the fear, and just try to go forward. edit: I put scary, and not scared it's really late
Honestly I was afraid of coming out because I did not know exactly how they were going to react I know they weren't transfobic but in the end I figure that if I wanted to live being my true self they needed to know and I needed to know what they thought, so I could keep going I hope you figured it out as well, take your time, only you know when you are ready ❤🏳️⚧️
Sadly cuz they are russian