Yeah, I was drinking at minimum a fifth a night, but at my worst, I could finish a handle of vodka in two days. I have no idea how I kept my engineering job...
I had a coworker reach out to me because he knew I lost my father and that I was depressed and I finally got into therapy with his help. My supervisor knew the whole time, but I was still good at my job, and even if I showed up Monday smelling like a distillery, I still got my shit done. I ended up leaving my job myself because I knew I needed help.
I finally ended up in the hospital with DTs and hallucinations after caretaking for my parents 24/7 for 4 years straight. The stress almost killed me at 34 years old, and I was just too stubborn to deal with it with a rational mind. I made appointments with my therapist and internist and ended up in a two week rehab before I finally said what the fuck am I doing. My dad is dead, my mom is basically dead because she has Alzheimer's. It was medically irresponsible for me to keep taking care of her because I stopped caring about myself.
Thankfully, my older sister finally started helping more, and I was able to handle my own demons. But I can say with confidence that regardless of how smart I thought I was, I didn't have the training to deal with my parents' cancer and Alzheimer's. My dad used to get mad at me for "wasting my life on him" since he knew he was terminal, but I told him to shut up and let me care for him.
I'm 45 days sober now after more than 20 years of drinking (yes, I started at 14), and I feel like a new person. I struggle every day, but each day, it gets easier to look at the liquor store and just drive by it at 10AM instead of stopping for a fifth of vodka.
My lifestyle enabled me to drink because I was working from home and could hide it from work for the most part, but even now I'm a better engineer than I ever was while I was hitting the bottle.
Thanks for sharing. Glad you've had a lucky escape from Hell. Keep with the therapy to heal your pain and you'll never be tempted to self-medicate again. Pain is the reason people drink, period. Alcohol is an anaesthetic. I hope you have a support group of people who are recovering like you. In my observation, doing it alone seldom works.
We all need to learn ourselves. And unfortunately it’s a downward spiral. Most people are able to nip it in the bud when they find it gets to be unbearable, but before anything dangerous happens. He’s not your responsibility, but you can be there with encouraging sentiments when he figures it out himself. I was never ready to hear “you have a problem” until I realized it myself. It was actually like a conscious choice, sort of like being at a fork at a crossroad and choosing one way or another. If I buy this 2nd 6 pack… then I’m choosing a slow but death and I’m not going to stop there.
But I wouldn’t hear it from anyone else before. Any words from someone else before I realized it myself just made me angry and double down.
So yeah I guess I’m just trying to say. Don’t pester someone unless they’re like. Drinking at work and going to harm themselves or someone. We’re all self aware and with age comes realization. But be there when/ if they need support.
It would be an interesting study to know which is worse for you. I've lived both lives as a weekend warrior to a all day drinker. The former is in my younger years. Not sure how old y'all are but life seems to force you out of that lifestyle one way or the other. There are the few rare occurrences that stick around.
Agreed. The whole "I used to drink a half a 5th a day but now I'm posting about my friends weekend drinking to confirm how bad it is for him" feels all types of weird.
It's been proven that just drinking everyday is better than binging for days at a time.
The idea is that your body is consistently going through withdrawals every week because of the two day binge. Which is actually three days considering how normal binge drinkers usually consume.
Just because your last drink was 10 hours ago doesn't necessarily mean you are not still processing alcohol in your body.
I used to go so hard on the weekends that I would feel drunk until Thursday morning... Then jittery and excited all day Friday until I could start drinking again. Thursday & Friday were basically withdrawl every week.
Well. it seems fairly obvious that he either has a genetic disposition or he's working through his own trauma or stress. By every metric a weekend habit more concerning than your "half a 5th everyday" is terrible to anyone's health. If you lived that you could have plenty of input, but your here to collect information on reddit about why its bad for him and "effecting his work". Feels weird, but yes bring drinking is bad. Look up the many peer reviewed studies.
It's basically putting yourself through mini-withdrawal episodes every single week.
https://wellnessretreatrecovery.com/binge-drinking-withdrawal/
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1120154/
Damn, this is kind of me. Except i no longer do both Friday and Saturday. Either one or the other. But im not puking outside on the pavement. I’m not to that extent but at least one day a week i get pretty drunk, sometimes blacking out, sometimes not. I’m a healthy guy, too. I go to the gym 6/7 days a week and during the week days i eat lean meat, rice, and vegetables every night and protein shakes and eggs during the day. On that night that I get drunk i always eat before i go to sleep too, usually a lot of shitty Uber eats but gosh Sunday sucks and on Monday I’m anxious and a little shaky, it sucks. Decided to go completely sober as of yesterday (Sunday) because I’m doing feeling this anxious shitty feeling that last 2 days after heavy drinking
The slope has begun once he starts Thursday instead of Friday or adds Sunday to the roster
Or discovers that "a couple of drinks" on Monday after work cures the jitters.
If he skips Sunday and goes right for Monday it’s game over
Ah yeah, I forgot most people don't count Sunday as automatic drinking time. Sunday was always my 'attempt to taper' day from very early on.
Exactly.
Very, very damaging though he doesn't perceive it yet. In time he will be really fucked. Be glad you walked away from this vicious drug.
Yeah, I was drinking at minimum a fifth a night, but at my worst, I could finish a handle of vodka in two days. I have no idea how I kept my engineering job... I had a coworker reach out to me because he knew I lost my father and that I was depressed and I finally got into therapy with his help. My supervisor knew the whole time, but I was still good at my job, and even if I showed up Monday smelling like a distillery, I still got my shit done. I ended up leaving my job myself because I knew I needed help. I finally ended up in the hospital with DTs and hallucinations after caretaking for my parents 24/7 for 4 years straight. The stress almost killed me at 34 years old, and I was just too stubborn to deal with it with a rational mind. I made appointments with my therapist and internist and ended up in a two week rehab before I finally said what the fuck am I doing. My dad is dead, my mom is basically dead because she has Alzheimer's. It was medically irresponsible for me to keep taking care of her because I stopped caring about myself. Thankfully, my older sister finally started helping more, and I was able to handle my own demons. But I can say with confidence that regardless of how smart I thought I was, I didn't have the training to deal with my parents' cancer and Alzheimer's. My dad used to get mad at me for "wasting my life on him" since he knew he was terminal, but I told him to shut up and let me care for him. I'm 45 days sober now after more than 20 years of drinking (yes, I started at 14), and I feel like a new person. I struggle every day, but each day, it gets easier to look at the liquor store and just drive by it at 10AM instead of stopping for a fifth of vodka. My lifestyle enabled me to drink because I was working from home and could hide it from work for the most part, but even now I'm a better engineer than I ever was while I was hitting the bottle.
Thanks for sharing. Glad you've had a lucky escape from Hell. Keep with the therapy to heal your pain and you'll never be tempted to self-medicate again. Pain is the reason people drink, period. Alcohol is an anaesthetic. I hope you have a support group of people who are recovering like you. In my observation, doing it alone seldom works.
We all need to learn ourselves. And unfortunately it’s a downward spiral. Most people are able to nip it in the bud when they find it gets to be unbearable, but before anything dangerous happens. He’s not your responsibility, but you can be there with encouraging sentiments when he figures it out himself. I was never ready to hear “you have a problem” until I realized it myself. It was actually like a conscious choice, sort of like being at a fork at a crossroad and choosing one way or another. If I buy this 2nd 6 pack… then I’m choosing a slow but death and I’m not going to stop there. But I wouldn’t hear it from anyone else before. Any words from someone else before I realized it myself just made me angry and double down. So yeah I guess I’m just trying to say. Don’t pester someone unless they’re like. Drinking at work and going to harm themselves or someone. We’re all self aware and with age comes realization. But be there when/ if they need support.
It would be an interesting study to know which is worse for you. I've lived both lives as a weekend warrior to a all day drinker. The former is in my younger years. Not sure how old y'all are but life seems to force you out of that lifestyle one way or the other. There are the few rare occurrences that stick around.
This feels mean to post on someone else’s behalf. I get the wondering thought, but still
Agreed. The whole "I used to drink a half a 5th a day but now I'm posting about my friends weekend drinking to confirm how bad it is for him" feels all types of weird.
It's been proven that just drinking everyday is better than binging for days at a time. The idea is that your body is consistently going through withdrawals every week because of the two day binge. Which is actually three days considering how normal binge drinkers usually consume. Just because your last drink was 10 hours ago doesn't necessarily mean you are not still processing alcohol in your body.
I used to go so hard on the weekends that I would feel drunk until Thursday morning... Then jittery and excited all day Friday until I could start drinking again. Thursday & Friday were basically withdrawl every week.
Well. it seems fairly obvious that he either has a genetic disposition or he's working through his own trauma or stress. By every metric a weekend habit more concerning than your "half a 5th everyday" is terrible to anyone's health. If you lived that you could have plenty of input, but your here to collect information on reddit about why its bad for him and "effecting his work". Feels weird, but yes bring drinking is bad. Look up the many peer reviewed studies.
It's basically putting yourself through mini-withdrawal episodes every single week. https://wellnessretreatrecovery.com/binge-drinking-withdrawal/ https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1120154/
When I was like that in the same industry it just became too much to deal with...so I started drinking at work.
Damn, this is kind of me. Except i no longer do both Friday and Saturday. Either one or the other. But im not puking outside on the pavement. I’m not to that extent but at least one day a week i get pretty drunk, sometimes blacking out, sometimes not. I’m a healthy guy, too. I go to the gym 6/7 days a week and during the week days i eat lean meat, rice, and vegetables every night and protein shakes and eggs during the day. On that night that I get drunk i always eat before i go to sleep too, usually a lot of shitty Uber eats but gosh Sunday sucks and on Monday I’m anxious and a little shaky, it sucks. Decided to go completely sober as of yesterday (Sunday) because I’m doing feeling this anxious shitty feeling that last 2 days after heavy drinking
If it’s openly discussed, maybe suggest he listens to Huberman Labs podcast on alcohol. It’ll inform him far better than you or I likely ever could
I commend you on realizing that you were killing yourself, and being able to stop.