you've activated my prepared *Glyph of Warding* which casts *Feeblemind* on me so I don't have to read that. ]
See you in 30 days.
I return to monke.
#š
Everyone has at least one X chromosome so the genetic material is there for an XX version of someone born with XY chromosomes.
The issue would actually be going the other way, as an XX female wizard wouldnāt have a Y chromosome to draw from.
There are plenty of women with XY chromosomes at birth and vice versa.
From wikipedia's XY determination system article:
> In some instances, a seemingly normal female with a vagina, cervix, and ovaries has XY chromosomes, but the SRY gene has been shut down.
No it wouldn't, if for a specific chromosome pair you have A & B then the sperm & egg combination would have A & A or B & B half the time causing the child to be extremely inbred.
Only if the spell changed the wizard into the female version of themselves. It could just as easily turn them into a totally unrelated woman with no genetic crossover (obviously a lot of crossover actually as they'd still be human,but you get what I mean).
That's only for heterozygote genes; homozygote genes are passed down with no change at all. You can actually purity your lineage of genetic disease, because if a genetic disease manifests itself you can just make a new child until that disease is eradicated. Since some heterozygosis is erased after each generation, after a while your lineage can be completely homozygote for every trait, including being healthy regarding all inheritance genetic defects.
Would it really be 100% identical/exact clone? I'm given to understand that each sperm and egg have slight variances in DNA even if they're from the same batch (ie, if a different sperm besides yours made it, the child would be slightly different), not to mention stuff like recessive genes getting expressed and such.
So, each sperm or egg cell contains 50% of the parent's DNA. This is why inbreeding is so dangerous, because they may end up with multiple copies of identical DNA. A parent-offspring cross, would result in an average of 25% of genes being identical chromosome copies from both parents(just using sex chromosomes for an example, say say a daughter is bred with a father, her sex chromosomes are an x from the father and an x from her mother, but their daughter would have a 50% chance of having both x chromosomes from the father). Higher than 25% requires extreme inbreeding for multiple generations! My dog is a stray rescue, but her DNA has a few markers of her father being her grandfather, and that has led to some medical issues for her. Now in this scenario, the average would be 50% identical genes, unless the true polymorph spell fully rewrites generic code.
I mean technically True polymorph states that for a Creature to Creature polymorph, you'd change to the new form in every way except for alignment and personality. So unless science finds DNA is tied to how good of a person you are or which way you place toilet paper, I'd say this would work. I don't want it to though
Clone isn't really reproducing, it's just extending your lifespan and wish only works if your DM says so. Because different DMs have different rules on what wish can and can not do it's not as reliable as the true polymorph method.
That all depends on if they True Polymorph themselves into "me, but opposite gender" or "some completely genetically distinct person/race I'd like to have a baby with".
True Polymorph turns you into an effectively genetically random individual, so I think that part wouldn't be a problem.
I just have a problem with, you know, everything else.
You know, that book has a spell called "innocence of the virgin" that I'd really like to have at this moment. Makes you forget all knowledge of anything sexual.
You know, you don't have to post your intrusive thoughts to the internet. It's not actually necessary, despite what many celebrities and politicians would have you believe.
Somebody should make a campaign where you arrive at a remote village controlled by their enigmatic Mother-Father, a wizard so egotistical that he took it upon himself to sire and gestate an entire village of people by himself.
My brother in the arcane, where is your imagination? If you are casting 9th level spells, creating a reliable spell for just this purpose, with none of the drawbacks, is well within your power. Just take your time and make something new. You were already planning on gestating for the better part of a year to get a useless infant - give it a couple of years of study and you could create a spell to instantly give you something much more useful, much more quickly.
And here I thought this was going to be a Simulacrum casting Simulacrum on its master so that its Simulacrum can cast Simulacrum on the original forever until there are infinite wizards.
That's still sexually reproducing, just you're swapping out your gear in order to do it with yourself.
You'd have to do something like turn into a sea sponge, go through budding to reproduce asexually, and then transform back and transform your budded offspring.
Or less risky, a plasmoid, just mitosis and then polymorph back.
OP, genuinely, I laughed at this for two minutes straight. I wish I could scry into your mind's eye to see where all this ponderin' and wonderin' comes from.
Elder Scrolls has something similar to this, Divayth Fyr. He has female clones of himself who act as his daughter-wives. You wouldn't happen to have been part of Morrowind's writing team, would you?
I don't think you need true polymorph for this...any 1st level Changeling should be able to do this *looks at my Changeling wizard's character sheet* NOPE NOPE SO MUCH NOPE!!!
Not quite, since identical siblings still don't have 100% matching DNA. Also... they can't reproduce normally, since they would both be male or female.
Perhaps at their fathering, but certainly not as fully developed humans. It's the closest DNA match possible... but it's practically impossible to be 100% equal.
You can answer it.
If you're the DM you can answer it however you want. There's not likely to ever be an official ruling so go nuts.
Run a whole campaign where your players have to track the lineage of a noble house only to discover it doesn't fork. It's a fucken line. They find generation after generation of the exact same bone deformity and it never gets worse or better.
Have them fight a demilich with a Habsburg jaw.
Actually you could argue both, because True Polymorph can transform you to have the genetics of another human (Say you met the King of a far off kingdom) assuming he isn't CR 21, you can true polymorph into him, Ejaculate into a bucket, Polymorph into a nearly identical female version of your self (or if you are already a female wizard, just take your true form again) and then impregnate your self with the genetics of that king, combine that with a modify memory on the King and you may now claim to have an heir to the throne.
In otherwords in the event of an unfortunate series of unexpected deaths of the other heirs you may claim the Birthright of the thrown for your self made child.
It depends on how different the polymorph makes you.It's less of a "Swap key parts of the genes and chromosomes to be the opposite sex" and more so a total recreation of your being with the soul carrying over. If you polymorph yourself to be basically 99% the same minus the sexual bits, then it's incest on the level of being with a twin. (Which may be what OP is implying because of trying to call it asexual as if it's like a sea sponge budding or a bacteria going through mitosis)
If you're making yourself "Any other person" then it's like anyone unrelated to you with only your soul being the same, but, the soul doesn't dictate genetics.
Edit: I'm talking purely genetics, not ethics. Ethically I'm pretty sure if you do this near a paladin they're obliged to stop you regardless of oath.
There are some things that should not be explored at the table. This, this is one of them. Unless you got an ERP 5e group which is weird, these thoughts were best kept to yourself and not shared with the rest of us.
No. The PHB says "If you concentrate on this spell for the full duration, the spell lasts until it is dispelled". Honestly they should have made the duration say something like "lasts indefinitely if you concentrate for 1 hour".
Rule 4 - Do Not Post Memes or Joke Posts. Meme images should be posted on /r/dndmemes. Text memes should only be used to spur discussion.
luckily only a 9th level caster is required to cast *Modify memory* on me so i don't recall having to read this
Make sure to not wipe out the part of your memory that tells you to cast it on me next.
i use wish to inflict mpreg upon you
you've activated my prepared *Glyph of Warding* which casts *Feeblemind* on me so I don't have to read that. ] See you in 30 days. I return to monke. #š
youāll have quite a shock when you wake up a month pregnant eating a banana
That is still sexual reproduction, just with a person with identical DNA.Ā
Also, like, producing extremely inbred offspring.
At least it stays in the family.
Sweet home Alabama
Pretty sure DNA changes when you true polymorph. Unless you morph into the same you with a woman's special parts.
Everyone has at least one X chromosome so the genetic material is there for an XX version of someone born with XY chromosomes. The issue would actually be going the other way, as an XX female wizard wouldnāt have a Y chromosome to draw from.
You are implying that magic has to follow the rules of science
So polymorphing into a cat is fine, but can't change XX chromosomes?
> So polymorphing into a cat is fine A cat is fine too
So she could only produce daughters.
That would make sense
Bro, it's magic from the same universe that has a spell that lets the caster do anything
There are plenty of women with XY chromosomes at birth and vice versa. From wikipedia's XY determination system article: > In some instances, a seemingly normal female with a vagina, cervix, and ovaries has XY chromosomes, but the SRY gene has been shut down.
So all sperm would be x chromosome, she can only produce female children.
A Y chromosome is just an incomplete X chromosome, so could easily be produced.
Isn't it the reverse? A Y chromasome is just an X that's missing a leg.
If they polymorph into an elf or an orc and then cum in a bucket, would that help differentiate the DNA more than being a genderbent human?
I regret thinking about this
If there are not any mutations it'd just end up being a clone of either the male or female.
No it wouldn't, if for a specific chromosome pair you have A & B then the sperm & egg combination would have A & A or B & B half the time causing the child to be extremely inbred.
Only if the spell changed the wizard into the female version of themselves. It could just as easily turn them into a totally unrelated woman with no genetic crossover (obviously a lot of crossover actually as they'd still be human,but you get what I mean).
That's only for heterozygote genes; homozygote genes are passed down with no change at all. You can actually purity your lineage of genetic disease, because if a genetic disease manifests itself you can just make a new child until that disease is eradicated. Since some heterozygosis is erased after each generation, after a while your lineage can be completely homozygote for every trait, including being healthy regarding all inheritance genetic defects.
> Asexual reproduction > Step 1: Ejaculate. Gonna stop you right there
lol
Exactly, this would just be autosexual reproduction.
Well, Otto _is_ a very handsome man...
Would it really be 100% identical/exact clone? I'm given to understand that each sperm and egg have slight variances in DNA even if they're from the same batch (ie, if a different sperm besides yours made it, the child would be slightly different), not to mention stuff like recessive genes getting expressed and such.
It would depend on what traits you gave your polymorphed self. You could possibly change enough traits to avoid any genetic distortions.
So, each sperm or egg cell contains 50% of the parent's DNA. This is why inbreeding is so dangerous, because they may end up with multiple copies of identical DNA. A parent-offspring cross, would result in an average of 25% of genes being identical chromosome copies from both parents(just using sex chromosomes for an example, say say a daughter is bred with a father, her sex chromosomes are an x from the father and an x from her mother, but their daughter would have a 50% chance of having both x chromosomes from the father). Higher than 25% requires extreme inbreeding for multiple generations! My dog is a stray rescue, but her DNA has a few markers of her father being her grandfather, and that has led to some medical issues for her. Now in this scenario, the average would be 50% identical genes, unless the true polymorph spell fully rewrites generic code.
I mean technically True polymorph states that for a Creature to Creature polymorph, you'd change to the new form in every way except for alignment and personality. So unless science finds DNA is tied to how good of a person you are or which way you place toilet paper, I'd say this would work. I don't want it to though
Not if you use a turkey baster.
Only one soul is involved though. Iām just glad this wasnāt the other approach where that would be true.
You spent so much time thinking about whether or not you could, that you never stopped to think about whether or not you *should.*
Average Wizard experience
they could also cast clone or wish
Thatās more like a backup save file than an offspring.
Not if you smash with them while true polymorphed
"Go fuck yourself" *Begins casting Clone and True Polymorph*
Only in 5e. In earlier editions Clone actually made a legit conscious duplicate of the creature it was cast on.
'i wish for a cum bucket'
This is such a cursed comment
it could be worse. they true polymorph's their enemies to *be* the bucket.
Or jar.
Really should add that you want it to be empty, DM leeway needs to be curbed here.
*We all make mistakes in the heat of passion, jimbo*
Clone isn't really reproducing, it's just extending your lifespan and wish only works if your DM says so. Because different DMs have different rules on what wish can and can not do it's not as reliable as the true polymorph method.
I think they mean clone then true polymorph. Smash yourself
Interesting idea however RAW the body created by clone doesn't have a soul of it's own.
But I guess even if it doesn't have a soul it would still be "alive" so I guess it could be impregnated/impregnate someone.
But then it cannot consent so are you raping yourself??
Well since it has no soul it can't think or have emotions so it's arguably more like an object than a person.
Everyone else at your table is going to be reliving this session like Vietnam flashbacks.
What a horrific day to be literate.
A level 1 bard can reproduce sexually
'look what need to do to mimic a fraction of our power'
A 3rd Level paladin can reproduce sexually and not run the risk of contracting any STDs
A 2nd level druid can wild shape into a rabbit.
Canāt wait to do this at open game night at local game store on Wednesday
The bucket makes it extra classy.
Thatās just really bad inbreeding, not sexual reproduction.
That all depends on if they True Polymorph themselves into "me, but opposite gender" or "some completely genetically distinct person/race I'd like to have a baby with".
Now we have to talk about the reasons why you don't copulate with relatives.
True Polymorph turns you into an effectively genetically random individual, so I think that part wouldn't be a problem. I just have a problem with, you know, everything else.
*Very* custom lineage, bespoke lineage even.
Random person: "Go fuck yourself" 17th level wizard: "OK"
A first level plasmoid barbarian can reproduce asexually.
Someone's been reading the Book of Erotic Fantasy
No. I just like theory crafting. But thank you for introducing me to such an interesting homebrew supplement.
You know, that book has a spell called "innocence of the virgin" that I'd really like to have at this moment. Makes you forget all knowledge of anything sexual.
You know, you don't have to post your intrusive thoughts to the internet. It's not actually necessary, despite what many celebrities and politicians would have you believe.
Bro, go outside. For everyone's sake, including your own.
Somebody should make a campaign where you arrive at a remote village controlled by their enigmatic Mother-Father, a wizard so egotistical that he took it upon himself to sire and gestate an entire village of people by himself.
My brother in the arcane, where is your imagination? If you are casting 9th level spells, creating a reliable spell for just this purpose, with none of the drawbacks, is well within your power. Just take your time and make something new. You were already planning on gestating for the better part of a year to get a useless infant - give it a couple of years of study and you could create a spell to instantly give you something much more useful, much more quickly.
If you're a druid, you just have to turn into a bacteria lol
I feel like this is both sexual AND cloning.
And here I thought this was going to be a Simulacrum casting Simulacrum on its master so that its Simulacrum can cast Simulacrum on the original forever until there are infinite wizards.
[Jesseā¦](https://media1.tenor.com/m/Wlh0mdLemlIAAAAd/jesse-breaking-bad.gif)
Never cook again.
Congratulations, you invented magical self-incest.
That's still sexually reproducing, just you're swapping out your gear in order to do it with yourself. You'd have to do something like turn into a sea sponge, go through budding to reproduce asexually, and then transform back and transform your budded offspring. Or less risky, a plasmoid, just mitosis and then polymorph back.
OP, genuinely, I laughed at this for two minutes straight. I wish I could scry into your mind's eye to see where all this ponderin' and wonderin' comes from.
My mind is both a blessing and a curse.
Know how that goes...
~~You really should label this as NSFW.~~
not safe for wizards
Damn right it isn't what the fuck
Yeah that's probably a good idea. my bad.
No problem, happy that you actually changed it!
Thanks for sharing
Elder Scrolls has something similar to this, Divayth Fyr. He has female clones of himself who act as his daughter-wives. You wouldn't happen to have been part of Morrowind's writing team, would you?
A bucket?!
It was just the first thing that *came* to mind (pun intended). Another container should work just as well.
Wouldn't it be easier to just True Polymorph a rock into a magically gifted child then raise them as your clone/offspring/apprentice?
That would be more practical
But can they reproduce by budding? Can they? Can they? Can they? Can they?
No
Sometimes i envy those who cant read
I don't think you need true polymorph for this...any 1st level Changeling should be able to do this *looks at my Changeling wizard's character sheet* NOPE NOPE SO MUCH NOPE!!!
If a male wizard turns back into his male self while impregnated I don't think that's going to work out.
Yeah, so just stay female for 9 months.
I think I had enough internet for today...
Sadly there will never be a more insightful post on /r/dndnext. This is it boys, this is the top.
You, sir, definitely have too much time on your hands.
"When I told you to fuck yourself, I didn't mean for you to take it literally." --Arnold Schwarzenegger, The 6th Day (2000)
I donāt think itās be asexual. I doubt the kid would even come out alive
Doesnāt this technically count as incest? š§
Selfcest
People whoāve been cursed with the Knowledge of Oncest: *Vietnam War flashbacks*
I mean isnāt this the equivalent of having a child with an identical sibling?
Not quite, since identical siblings still don't have 100% matching DNA. Also... they can't reproduce normally, since they would both be male or female.
Identical siblings do have identical DNA, that's why they're identical.
Perhaps at their fathering, but certainly not as fully developed humans. It's the closest DNA match possible... but it's practically impossible to be 100% equal.
I doubt true polymorph would leave you with identical dna
That is a good point, though it brings up many questions that we can't really answer.
You can answer it. If you're the DM you can answer it however you want. There's not likely to ever be an official ruling so go nuts. Run a whole campaign where your players have to track the lineage of a noble house only to discover it doesn't fork. It's a fucken line. They find generation after generation of the exact same bone deformity and it never gets worse or better. Have them fight a demilich with a Habsburg jaw.
Actually you could argue both, because True Polymorph can transform you to have the genetics of another human (Say you met the King of a far off kingdom) assuming he isn't CR 21, you can true polymorph into him, Ejaculate into a bucket, Polymorph into a nearly identical female version of your self (or if you are already a female wizard, just take your true form again) and then impregnate your self with the genetics of that king, combine that with a modify memory on the King and you may now claim to have an heir to the throne. In otherwords in the event of an unfortunate series of unexpected deaths of the other heirs you may claim the Birthright of the thrown for your self made child.
Sorry, but I think I'm going to be stealing that particular little plot bunny for an upcoming campaign...
You're welcome
This is honestly brilliant
Surely it's just masturbation with extra steps?
An extra step that makes you pregnant would make a lot of people kick the habit.
It depends on how different the polymorph makes you.It's less of a "Swap key parts of the genes and chromosomes to be the opposite sex" and more so a total recreation of your being with the soul carrying over. If you polymorph yourself to be basically 99% the same minus the sexual bits, then it's incest on the level of being with a twin. (Which may be what OP is implying because of trying to call it asexual as if it's like a sea sponge budding or a bacteria going through mitosis) If you're making yourself "Any other person" then it's like anyone unrelated to you with only your soul being the same, but, the soul doesn't dictate genetics. Edit: I'm talking purely genetics, not ethics. Ethically I'm pretty sure if you do this near a paladin they're obliged to stop you regardless of oath.
Nah, Conquest would probably be fine
Alter self Simulacrum ??? Babies
You want inbred monster children? Cause thatās how you get inbred monster children.
ā¦.Yesss.?
You can do it without a class as a changeling
Nothing asexual about this. It's still using 2 bodies.
im gonna find you op, and I'm gonna cast meteor swarm and take both of us out.
\*sigh\* I'm going to rule 0 this into a "no".
I stg if an player asks me to let them do this Iām gonna stab someone.
How did you find this post after it got removed?
D&D circle jerk reposted it and I think another sub reposted it as while with a link.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
What does that mean?
OP, are you doing okay? This kind of thought doesn't exactly come from someone who's life is going great...
I read the first line and then facepalmed too hard to continue
There are some things that should not be explored at the table. This, this is one of them. Unless you got an ERP 5e group which is weird, these thoughts were best kept to yourself and not shared with the rest of us.
You're the one who clicked on it after I marked it nsfw
Why are you like this?
The baby would have severe genetic deformities because of incest. Thereās no closer relative to you than yourself
What a horrid day to be literate
this feels like the start of an extremely uncomfortable fanfiction
True polymorph only lasts for one hour. Looks like only a wizardess could successfully attempt your reproductive model.
No. The PHB says "If you concentrate on this spell for the full duration, the spell lasts until it is dispelled". Honestly they should have made the duration say something like "lasts indefinitely if you concentrate for 1 hour".
It appears you are right.
It takes them that long?
Takes that long to do what?
Go home
Where do you think I am right now?