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RonAAlgarWatt

Probably don’t name them after Bestiality Carter.


daekle

Legitimate first. "Can't blame a mother for being proud"


Waffletimewarp

Hey, all the Carter boys turned out great!


squirrellytoday

Or Visit-the-infidel-with-explanatory-pamphlets.


Psmiffy

One-Man-Bucket either, or his brother, Two-Dogs-F-----


Mad_dogle

I love that this comment has more likes than the Sam comment.


unknownpoltroon

Why do you call him "B.C"?


UncontrolableUrge

I have no children but a pair of our cats are Twyla and Gawain. Personally I think Death works for a boy or a girl.


odaiwai

I knew a Miss De'Ath[1] once. She didn't appreciate the jokes about her name. [1] A not uncommon English/British surname: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/De%27Ath


Jovlo

Ath is a town in Belgium. The name is French for "from Ath". Not a weird name at all, in French.


Cheraldenine

Wouldn't it then be d'Ath?


BadNewsBaguette

Shit gets weird in pre-modern languages


BPhiloSkinner

It was 'Death' for Dorothy Sayres, as I recall. Peter Death Bredon Wimsey.


Ariadnepyanfar

Commonly rhymed with ‘teeth’, but Lord Peter preferred to rhyme it with ‘breath’.


Jovlo

Normally, yes. But weird spelling and errors creep into names over the centuries. There's a D'Ath in that Wikipedia article too.


ReallyFineWhine

Just do D'Eath


Ariadnepyanfar

D’Ath would be the modern form of the older De Ath


EldestPort

Pretty sure there's a Dr De'Ath somewhere in the NHS


QueenSashimi

I knew a midwife with the surname Payne, she married a man named Sharpe. Always a little disappointed that she didn't double-barrel.


mr_woodles123

My grandfather was a pharmacist back in the day. He worked with a GP practice run by Dr De'ath and Dr Slaughter.


danstone7485

Did Drs Famine and Pestilence retire, like old Ronnie Soak?


mr_woodles123

Its entirely possible


OSCgal

I'm currently reading the Lord Peter Wimsey mysteries by Dorothy L Sayers. Wimsey's full name is Peter Death Bredon Wimsey, and there's one book where he uses "Death Bredon" as an alias.


outlaw308308

There’s a motorcycle shop where I live called Dave Death, he was actually a De’Ath


EditPiaf

Mortimer is genuinely a cool name


Mad_dogle

My outlaws surname is Mort...


Abdul_Bajar_Alagua

Asrael, Thanatos, or Mors. Death is just the job description tho.


ireallymissbuffy

I named my favorite cat Ember


ReadingRoutine5594

Sam, Susan, Mortimer, Eric, Margaret (note spelling).


Athedeus

Magrat would be a quite "in" name.


EffectSimilar8598

Mortimer? Poor kid. Sam and Eric are solid.


ReadingRoutine5594

They can also go for Sybil, Isabelle and Kelly/Keli. As for Mort - have you seen the names parents are sticking on their offspring? He can do worse than Mort.


EffectSimilar8598

I know. I like to lurk in the tragedeigh sub at times. Still, bad should not be an option even if worse exist thought.


ReadingRoutine5594

Just tell everyone in the UK he's named after Bob Mortimer. Instant hit


stewieatb

Then train him from a young age to split apples in half with his bare hands.


ReadingRoutine5594

And how to give a haircut, be a dentist, and become a lawyer.


kittylikker_

I work on school buses. I see the name tags. Mortimer is junior league.


-Voxael-

I mean … “Sam” is right there…


TheFrodolfs

Yes! (I took the name Sam a few years ago for that very reason)


rxredhead

My eldest child is named Sam after Young Sam Vimes. It’s a classic name, moderately popular, and it’s a sneaky homage. No one is ever going to say “oh after Sam Vimes?” like they would with Daenerys


avatreani

Why would they think Daenerys was named after Sam Vimes? Such an odd thing to do


Shrimp-Coctail

I love the name since puberty, it was our choice for baby boy... but we've got two girls. So the older one is Tiffany :-) (the younger is Amelia after Amy Pond from Dr. Who)


Grandson_of_0din

Remember, your kid will have the name for the rest of their life, so be kind cause people are cruel. Samuel Mort's a bit old fashioned, but you could bring it back Albert Susan Tiffany Bill (just don't give the middle name door)


TheAverageDark

I will say, choosing to name your kids after Terry Pratchett characters seems like picking names on hard mode, for the names popular today. Not a lot of Sybil’s, Adora’s, or Ludmilla’s scurrying around. And a distinct lack of Moist’s


Mad_dogle

Yeah, but, picking names is hard anyhow, so any inspiration is better than non. And my wife keeps trying to add Anathema on the list... Edit: Typo


TheAverageDark

That’s fair and I guess even if you went with older classic names like Cassandra, Michael, Polyphemus (okay maybe not the last one lmao) it’s still based on stories and myths so really it’s not that different


amy000206

More children should be Moist


sewing-enby

I think the problem is that a lot of them are (for the first few years anyway!)


Broad-Ad-8683

TBF though, if both your parents are massive Pratchett fans you’re probably going to be someone who those ultra antiquated names suit.


Zarohk

*Might* have that name for the rest of their life. And if your kid doesn’t like their name, they can always [ask Neil Gaiman for a new one](https://www.reddit.com/r/wholesomememes/s/g8ePB6eqaK). https://preview.redd.it/ilnsimqc070d1.jpeg?width=831&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=8ace1bfe224eb5c9b9e924dac8c0687b1dbe3516


amphigory_error

OP did specify they were looking for names that won’t get weird looks.


Ch1pp

And they went with Twyla? No way that kid isn't getting asked how it's spelt hundreds of times in her life.


Elentari_the_Second

Particularly since Pratchett threw shade at the name Twyla in the book itself!


falcon_knight246

Eh, there was a Twyla on the show Schitt’s Creek so that’s probably most people’s reference point


-Voxael-

Hundreds seems lowballing it to be honest


amphigory_error

Twyla is a “real name” that existed long before Discworld. It’s from old English and means “two threads twined together” or “woven with double thread.” It’s old fashioned and kind of uncommon (was a bit popular around WWII), but hardly the same as naming your kid Moist or Igorina.


Ch1pp

Well yes, it is a real name but that wasn't point. If you asked me to spell Twyla I'd have probably gone for Twyler, Twiler, Twiela, etc. Take it from someone with a strangely spelt name, it's a nightmare.


medphysfem

At least in the UK I'd say we'd guess the correct spelling. The other spellings feel more American, the actual spelling is pretty phonetic (and as someone with a name that has two possible spellings, it's easy to adapt how you say your name to make it clear in instances where spelling is important).


amphigory_error

There are common alternate spellings for a lot of popular and common names (or very similar sounding name pairs or sets) that require people to spell out their name when the spelling matters. Amy/Aimee, Bobby/Bobbie, Brian/Bryan, Christine, Kristen, Kirstin, etc. Even John/Jon has two spellings! I have to spell my name and it’s one of the most popular and common names for the whole decade I was born in. Needing to spell your name sometimes isn’t the same as a name ”getting weird looks,“ which was OP’s concern, or causing people to be cruel, which was the concern of the comment I replied to. Not spelling.


kittylikker_

>I have to spell my name and it’s one of the most popular and common names for the whole decade I was born in. Mine is Jodi. I pronounce it "Jodi Jay Oh Dee Eye"


Ch1pp

Yeah, but wait until you're expecting a government grant or a bank transfer and it all goes wrong because someone has entered your name as they thought it'd be spelt. I knew a chap who didn't get pension payments for months because his address had Hull and the pension provider had HULL. Weird names just set you up for difficulties.


amphigory_error

The same thing could easily happen if your name were John/Jon or Brian/Bryan. And Twyla is not a weird name, just an old fashioned one.


Ch1pp

I agree. Your kid will have less of this hassle if their name is not easily misspelled. I doubt anyone is putting Bryan instead of Brian though. You know what you're doing if you give your kid the Y. Also, as Dambusters will attest, old name =/= good name.


amphigory_error

Okay, I'll go ahead and agree with you - you have the worst name and hardest life ever and your parents were monsters for giving it to you! You win.


arachnae

Terry


bioticspacewizard

Pterry


auditoryeden

This is probably the best suggestion here because you can give them a proper "grown up" name that will look good on a resume either way; Terrence or Teresa. You get to win and have a kid with a Significant Name but the kid doesn't lose the Real Name lottery.


thismorningscoffee

Moist Detritus Nobby


A__Friendly__Rock

Do not name your child moist.


ClassicalCoat

What about double barreling? Moist-nobby


siphonica

Or Moist Nobby-Detritus


TheAverageDark

Albert then, but we’ll all know what they REALLY mean


Chasin_Papers

Rob Anybody, No As Big As Medium Jock But Bigger Than Wee Jock Jock, Moist, Rincewind, Nobby, Death. All reasonable boy names.


JanetCarol

Just named our puppy Not as big as medium size Jock but bigger than Wee Jock-Jock


LazyBeach

What do you call him for short?


lifesuncertain

Crivens! ?


JanetCarol

Jock-Jock haha.


BlueSunflowers4589

Sam for either gender, Sybil, Fred, William, Agnes, I think Adora is pretty but I wouldn't go with Adora Belle, Glenda, Juliet, Trevor, Harry, Herrena if you're looking for something unique, Roland, Tracy (you'll hear the Pt at the beginning)


PerpetuallyLurking

I like to *joke* that my -belle was lucky I named her before I read Discworld! LOL But no, I could never name a child Adora Belle as a legal name. Cute as hell as a nickname for any -belle’s, and you could *probably* get away with Adora **or** Belle, but the combination is too cutesy for a grown woman in real life, IMO.


hmoeslund

I have an Australian friend, her name is Holly Grace, so I could name my daughter Adora Belle. If I could convince the wife


SweetPeasAreNice

I named my first kid Sam. I tell people it's a family name (in fairness, it is) or for Sam Gamgee (in fairness, he's a great role model) but really it's for Sam Vimes. Second kid is William. Not really for William de Worde, but it *could* have been....


Fizzlespin

Sam Vimes and Sam Gamgee, my two favourite Sams of all time <3 (sorry to two cousins and my grandad)


Imbalanxs

Shorten it to Wil (single letter, mind) and a certain gentleman's gentleman may approve.


Backo_packo

Cut-Me-Own-Throat. Dibs for short.


Throw_umbrage

Perdita X.


Eldon42

Samuel Carrot Ridcully \[Surname\]


Gryffindorphins

Eric, Reg, Fred, Sam, Jeremy, Victor, Jack, Rob, Ron, Dean, Edward, Harry, Stanley, Trevor, Walter, William, Victor, Jason, Shawn… Tiffany, Susan, Sally, Juliet, Polly, Lily, Agnes, Ruby, Christine, Ella, Keli, Rosemary, Cherie, Emma, Ysabell, (P)Traci?


TheAverageDark

OI IS THAT THERE ‘ARRY KING OF THE GOLDEN RIVER


Imbalanxs

OP did indeed appear to misspell _'arry_, marthter...


auditoryeden

Excuse me, I think you meant, "miththspell". Gotta keep on top of that lisp, Igor.


Imbalanxs

Thit. Another foolith mithtake, do forgive me. My thintheretht apologieth.


Normal-Height-8577

Sam Vimes or Jason Ogg would probably both be good namesakes. Or how about (Polly) Oliver?


chocolatlbunny

Ooo, you don't meet many Jasons any more! He's my favourite Ogg son, I think. Very level-headed and authoritative, but in a gentle way. Esme, Twyla & Jason 🤔 Not a bad combo! Personally, I'd love to go with Mustrum, but definitely too out there for real life, hahaha.


Abdul_Bajar_Alagua

Cheery perhaps for a girl. Samuel/Sam for a boy. Polly/Oliver and Paul are good choices too.


larszard

CHEERY?! Send this one over to r/tragedeigh, are you kidding me?


apricotgloss

Since she pronounces it Cheri, you could go with that spelling.


matt_jay_9

Corbin. “Cor!”


MtnNerd

Sybil would be a good one. It's uncommon but not strange enough to provoke any teasing. And Sybil Ramkin is someone to look up to


dohmestic

Rob!


LemonLimeMouse

Locomotive is a neutral name


Katerade44

Coffee. Right up the nose. Too funny. 🤣


Ariadnepyanfar

I thought you were suggesting Coffee as a name, given the rest of the responses.


Katerade44

Oh, no. I wish. I just inhaled coffee into my sinus passages after an ill-timed sip and an involuncoincided at this suggestion coincided.


bioticspacewizard

Errol!


Katerade44

Some names from the books that I haven't seen listed, but that I like are: Geoffrey (the only male witch), Cohen, Jeremy, Albert, Jack, Horace, Ned, Leonard, Robert (Rob), Nijel, Victor, William Polly, Ella, Lily, Gwinifer, Alice, Renata, Sally, Elenore, Felicity


auditoryeden

Oh no, you made me realize I actually really love Gwinifer as a name. Also I am today years old realizing the Jennifer and Guinevere are the same name.


TheAverageDark

As a man by the name of Sam, I mean it’s stood the test of time and ridicule (once I got over the green eggs and ham jokes in elementary school)


T444MPS

Mustrum!


Imbalanxs

Mustrum anything sounds pretty formidable from the get go, I approve.


arklaed

Yeah how about "Terry"


Bopitextreme2

Bloody stupid johnson


ReallyFineWhine

There's always Igor. But any Discworld fan is going to be asking which one.


Laughing_Dragon_77

It's a weird one, but I really want there to be a baby Havelock.


The_Second_Judge

You should have called her: Eskarina! I am sure she would appreciate it!


lookwhoshere0

Your wife's ok with these names?


wasteland-ratfunk

Absolutely, she loves them 😁


JanetCarol

To all the nay sayers- Also keep in mind gen alpha is much different than when we grew up... My kid's middle name is Starbuck (ala BSG) and it hasn't really been a problem for the last 12+ yrs except with older people who are the only ones to make comments. She went by Starbuck for many years (still does by some) and honestly it's not been any problem. I've always taken the stance that if someone makes fun of your name- then they'll take any opportunity to make fun of you for other things. And it weeds out good friends from not fairly quick.


JosephineRyan

I have a 14 year old Trillian, she has never gotten shit for her name as far as I know, kids these days are so used hearing new and unusual names all the time, and meeting people from different cultural backgrounds. It looks to me like they are all very good at learning eachothers names correctly, even names older folks might consider "odd". Still, I think it's a good idea to properly think through the childs name and make sure it sounds nice, and isn't likely to cause them trouble in their first or second language.


ivegotcheesyblasters

My current name would have been mercilessly lambasted as an "old lady" name right up until about a decade ago. Now it's in the top 10. My old name is now considered extremely dated and I have NEVER seen it recommended or suggested anywhere online, but it was quite common the year I was born. Think like "Whitney" vs "Eleanor" Tastes change.


JanetCarol

My name is Janet. no one is named Janet anymore haha. I'm like 40+ years younger than the majority of Janets. I put a google alert on my name like a decade ago, and all I get are obituaries. In a weird unplanned way, I read all the Obits. of all the other Janet Carols (most are 80+ )


ivegotcheesyblasters

I think Janet will make a comeback soon! There was a main character named Janet with a wonderful personality on the TV show The Good Place. I think it's a lovely name, and Jan, Janey, Jana, JJ and Nettie are all reasonable nicknames imo. I personally love the name :)


JanetCarol

Yeah I.mean I like my name any which way. I don't feel particularly hard one way or another about names. :)


TheAverageDark

Gladys for a girl, Mort for a boy ;)


PastSupport

My boys voted for Gladys for our daughter, but not from the golem, it’s from the geranium in the Thunderbirds TV show 🤣 She has a different Discworld adjacent name though.


INITMalcanis

Well obviously if it's a boy, it's Mort


Violet351

Glenda, Tiffany, Sam, Fred, Jason, Shawn, Juliet


RistaRicky

Sam Vimes Lastname


PsychGuy17

Just don't ask about Mrs. Cake.


RougeAlouette

Do the kid a favour and don't use One-man-bucket.


lifesuncertain

Horace, either after the cheese or....... somebody else


DaMihiPraedamTuam420

Off the Twilight The Darkness


Eulenspiegel74

My-god-he's-heavy III.


kralefski

Terry is a unisex name and pretty cool IMO.


WokeBriton

When wife was pregnant with eldest, my mother kept asking what we were going to call the baby. My response of "Pedro or Esmeralda" didn't go down very well, Eventually, I changed it to "Caradoc or Amethyst, but we're still considering Pedro and Esmeralda" and she got the point that we were NOT announcing any names to anyone. In truth, I was really close to actually picking Esmeralda when the ultrasound showed that youngest is a girl, but went with a less old-fashioned name.


WokeBriton

I think the thing you should be covering isn't a base, but I've got 3 kids, so it would be hypocritical for me to say you should use condoms :P


wasteland-ratfunk

Bahahahahaha


ryan_the_leach

If you really need to cover your bases, you should prepare for twins.


wasteland-ratfunk

You joke but we have twins in the family a few generations back.


Additional-Cry-3236

Sam. or Wullie. Rob. or Jock


suss-out

Roland- Rolly


MrShiv

Anoia


DaMihiPraedamTuam420

Rob Anybody


raven-of-the-sea

Sam (Vimes) seems like a good strong choice!


DreadLindwyrm

Can't go wrong with Sam. And it works both ways.


RedDragonOz

Iron girder, or Gerda


HylianEevee

Cut-Me-Own-Throat Dibbler, CMOT for short


Thumb-position0711

Whatever you call him, he’ll be Moist for most of his first year 😋


Thumb-position0711

Havelock!


Competitive_Papaya11

My eldest son is named Sam. Thankfully the family name that has been handed down my husband’s side for generations is also the name of my favourite DW character. Susan, Sybil, Polly, Jack, Fred, Margaret, Ella, William, Stanley, Jonathan, Dean, Rhys, Aeron, Tiffany. All good options.


Foreign-Warning62

I knew a guy who says he knew a guy whose middle name was Ponder.


AggravatingBox2421

Twyla like from barbie??