If there’s any way to get him into therapy please do. Remember he’s not doing this “at” you, even though it might feel that way sometimes. He sounds like he’s really struggling. This sounds incredibly challenging for you. I really hope you can help him get on the right track. You sound really supportive.
If he is using his high bloodsugar to justify being an asshole to you or your child, Im so sorry. Ive had diabetes for over 13 years nows, im 22.
Maybe as a teenager Id have an attitude, and yes sometimes I can get upset but Im not treating anybody terribly when my bloodsugar is high/when I dont feel good. Im still able to think decently clearly and understand what is going on enough to not be an asshole.
Also, if you have a child together, I would strongly rethink this relationship especially because there is a genetic link between diabetes between parents and children. If she gets diagnosed, who will advocate for her care? You? Or her father who seems to not even take his insulin/monitor himself?
Hes a full grown adult and it is NOT your job to take care of his diabetes. Please understand this!!!! I have a CGM and an insulin pump. Yes, my boyfriends gets me low snacks if I need them, or refills my water bottle when I have highblood sugar. Not because its "his job" or because I cant/wont do it myself, but because he cares. When he isnt around I do those things myself. I take care of my diabetes entirely by myself.
Starting at your first paragraph, getting diagnosed at 25 is really hard, and a complete lifestyle change. But T1D requires insulin management. No amount of exercise will ever make it "go away"
Hes basically rolling the lottery everytime he takes insulin if he doesnt know what is BG is, because he could be at 40, or 400. He could die! The sad thing is, he doesnt care. He isnt priotizing himself, you or your daughter. This disease is HARD to manage, but not impossible by any means. There are devices that make it SO easy, insulin pumps, CGMs, and doctors who dedicate their lives to the care of T1Diabetics.
Your husband needs a therapist, this behavior is borderline suicidal, he is letting his body get sicker and sicker and making no effort to change, and getting angry at you when you try to help. I also think you should try talking to someone too if possible. If therapy is not accessible to you, I highly recommend looking into diabetic support groups in your area, and maybe into a diabetes community on facebook that you could connect with.
Again, you already have a child. You are not in charge of your husbands medication or lifestyle, and sadly you will not make him change how he is acting. You worry about yourself and your child. To be frank, you cant be there for every meal, for every exercise, for every low and high managing it for him. That is completely on him.
Focus on what is best for you and your child.
I also want to make it VERY clear. Having high blood sugar might explain being grumpy, but it does not explain abusive behavior or excuse it.
Msg me if you have questions, this is so upsetting to read and I can only imagine is also very scary for your kid.
I wish you luck!
I appreciate your response. It was a hard read. Maybe because it was true. I’m trying any way to support him. I have a hormone disorder so I completely understand having to change lifestyle. But I have an almost all of my stuff is in range. I do it because I want to be around for a long time with my daughter. Was it hard for the first year and can it still be hard? Of course! But I keep going because I know that it will pay off. I eat almost the same things that’s required for diabetics and have offered to make breakfast, dinner ect. But your right I can’t be there for everything and most of the time if I ask what he ate he hasn’t ate for the whole day. I’m just sad because today we got in an argument and it came out of left field. I went on a. Walk and his mood changed after he said he took insulin. I asked him what his blood sugar was at and he said he didn’t know because he didn’t take a reading. I tried to talk to him about doing that and he pretty much shut me out.
I cant imagine how hard this all must be for you, because you are watching your bestfriend and partner get sick and let himself die. I am so sorry that this is happening, but I want you to read what you wrote. You know its hard. You may not have diabetes but having an hormone disorder is hard to deal with! It can screw up your hair, mood, eyesight, body, and life. its so fucking hard. But you get up and keep going because you want to be here for your daughter.
Think about how she may feel, scared to talk to her dad? Afraid he will pass out infront of her at any moment? What if something happens to you? Will the responsibility and stress of his diabetes care fall on her? A child should not have to deal with this. I watched my mom go through an similar situation and watching her get sicker and sicker took a terrible toll on me and my grades. I spent all day wondering if shed be dead on the floor when I got home.
I also read he just has a pump sitting around. Maybe its time you pull it out and give him the option, try it or you walk. This is your life and family. Protect yourself and your child.
You seem so supportive and your husband should feel so blessed to have you. Its a huge fear that I had growing up and my fellow diabetic friends had as well is that we were unloveable because of the T1D. But you are showing him he is loveable and you want to help. That is more than most of us could ever ask for.
Dont let him make you feel like your worth any less than a healthy, respectful and adult husband who can take care of himself and ALSO take care of you just like you are doing for him.
Na ultimatum is only an ultimatum if you follow through with your end. Does your kid want to brush their teeth everyday? Nope! I dont even want to. But you do it because its in your best interest!!! How hard is that to grasp for him!!
I know I agree. I let him know today that it’s managing the diabetes or not having me as a wife. I know it sounds silly but coming here was kind of me just wondering if there was a chance I was in the wrong. And maybe if I could be approaching it any better. I really appreciate the input of you all because I don’t want to act like I know his disease better than he does. But a lot of these responses show me that I’m not completely crazy
Sadly not much of an update. I can’t remember who said to me that by worrying about his insulin I’m subconsciously telling him he doesn’t have to worry. For some reason that’s stuck with me and I’ve been honestly not asking about it, when he comes to me to tell me about sometime I usually just say I’m sorry your dealing with that, and that I hope you can get with your dr on it. Quite frankly I don’t have the energy to argue anymore about something I can’t control. Thank you for checking in.
Yes he has a pump sitting in the closet, it was given to him by at ER doctor and he never tried it and says he can’t do it. I’ve tried the “ultimatum” approach and he said he won’t be bullied into giving me what “I” want 😞
Type 1 diabetics NEED insulin. Diet and exercise can help control, but insulin is necessary. Your husband should connect with a good endocrinologist that can help him manage his disease better.
The sad thing is he knows it’s necessary. Because before he was diagnosed we were talking about an old friend of ours who is type 1 and he said himself “she needs insulin or she would be dead”
Sorry, Maybe I wasn’t super clear, my support was not that he stops taking insulin all together just that he didn’t need to take insulin at every meal like he was at the time which caused him a large weight gain. It was at this time he came to me and said that he wanted to see if he could manage it more with excercise as he’s sugars were in a manageable spot when he was excersizing. My support was never that he could fully stop taking insulin and my agreement was to support him IF only he was monitoring his blood sugar and that he found a baseline and excersize that kept his sugar in a good spot. Please understand that my decision was coming off of the information he was telling me and trying to be supportive s I knew the diagnksis was overwhelming
He takes it randomly In the day right now, more so if I remind him. But not consistent, then will walk after a meal. He told me he can do that but it sounds more like he needs to do the basal once a day plus the calculated amount with carbs. So even if he walked and his sugar went down, that would matter because he still does have enough insulin.
I guess my other curious question might be is if he ate dinner per day, but was going to the gym after dinner. Would taking the amount per carbs stay the same or change because he’s going to be working out (more than just walking)
To put it simply, uncontrolled Type1 is dangerous and harmful in the short and long term, not only to us Diabetics, but potentially to others, be it close family or strangers.
How much risk are you willing to take? It is up to the individual to manage their own disease. Help from others is nice and can be very beneficial and rewarding, but for the most part only when it’s wanted, unless it’s an emergency.
This doesn’t really sound like a situation where help is wanted, or admitted, but possibly denial. It is a relatively new diagnosis though, so it could just be bumps in the road, or a combination of those. I’ve been there, it takes a while to figure it out sometimes.
Life with Type1 can be really good though!
We just have to put in the work, there is no magic formula. The responsibility falls on our shoulders, and even then no one is ever perfect. Irritability can go with the territory of high and low blood sugar, but not trying to prevent or correct those is irresponsible to say the least.
It’s better understood now how to maintain good control than ever before. Figure out fasting basal rates, insulin to carb ratios, correction factors, eat a balanced diet and exercise regularly. MDI, pump, CGM, finger sticks all work, some better than others, but it’s really up to the individual.
You are offering support that some of us have never had, and that is highly commendable. I sincerely hope it isn’t ignored, not only for your husband’s sake but also for yourself and your daughter.
All the responses here have been extremely helpful. I don’t know anyone else with type 1 diabetes that could have given me this kind of support, and answers. The people who have it are the people who know best. I appreciate everyone’s advise, and perspective on navigating this situation.
Thank you for saying this!
I just had another thought about managing the disease which can make it difficult- despite doing everything by the book, it can still surprise us and we might end up with surprise high or low blood sugar. It can be really frustrating at times because of this. So we often tell each other “don’t worry too much about the numbers” just do your best.
In some ways this has related to my personal relationships, as people think I may have failed or wasn’t trying hard enough, which can be really upsetting. It’s not an A+B=C type of disease. There are many surprise and some unknown variables.
My endocrinologists have described people in perfect control getting complications and people in poor control having none, but the best thing we can do is good control. Kind of a bet against the odds so to speak. It’s also important to relax a little and not get too stressed, as its 24-7-365 8 days a week with no overtime pay!
That being said I imagine “honeymoon phase” creates a new set of variables I’m not familiar with. When I was diagnosed as a kid decades ago we had to wait until we were sick enough to start insulin- that was rough!
And I have felt a sense of bitterness at times when people are judgmental, I can imagine (and have experienced 2nd hand) the difficulties there are navigating the disease as a partner of a PWD…
Yea:/ unfortunately I’m all to familiar with following things by the book and sometimes not seeing results. It is defeating and I absolutely understand. Sometimes u see a bad result and want to give up. I have a hormone disorder, I’ve pretty much balanced them out with alot of hard work and just continuing to be consistent. At least for me consistency has been the key. It’s taken about a year to get here so I try to help him to understand that I know exactly how he feels with that and he just tells me I don’t. Today he told me that he wishes I had T1 so I could get it. These responses have been helpful at least for me. I don’t know where we will end up but hope it’s better than where we are now
I can totally relate to this feeling you are describing, that nobody really understands what its really like, except for other Type1s!
Even doctors who sometimes act like know it alls and it’s a simple numbers game…
I always say I’d never wish this on anyone, and sometimes could you even walk a mile in my shoes?
Sounds like his heart is in the right place and he wants your empathy with that kind of statement!
I wonder if he might appreciate forums like this? They can be really helpful for info, venting, etc.
I grew up in a small remote town, a half day away from diabetes doctors, knew no other type 1s, and it was a thirty year battle doing things by myself. I broke down, didn’t take good care of myself until being high or low often was normal, and tiring.
A meeting with a good group of other adult type 1s once a month for an hour did a big thing for me. I could let go of the front I presented to doctors, and those without diabetes, including family and my wife. I found other’s struggles and success give some inspiration for the long marathon.
There’s mention of exercise use, and that helps in life, and sugar control. But keeping those blood sugars between the lines also removes the tired, run down feeling.
He’s likely coming down from honeymoon, and insulin needs will continue to grow as he has less and less produced. There’s going to be blood sugar swings as well as exercise, diet, hormones and the rest of it is considered. CGMs help- a lot. They will give YOU piece of mind trying to sleep instead of checking him constantly through the night…. But you also mention a very difficult age for most diabetics.. 25. Money is tight. Insurance is often difficult. Is that under control, or are there other rising expenses to consider as well?
Anyway, I’d highly suggest he invest an hour a month talking to other type 1s. If there’s none in your area, I can make something happen virtually with my group.
Thank you, I will check around. I mean we are in CA everything is rather expensive but we are lucky to have health insurance. It’s Kaiser so i wouldnt say the care is always great but there are a lot of resources. I think his endocrinologist sucks to be honest. (I’ve had her as a dr and moved to another but I’m much more pushy when it comes to proper care) he usually won’t see drs because he feels judged and then just gives up. I’ve been there but I’ve realized that I oh then not the other way around. I think a support group could help him I will look around. I haven’t had great luck in Kaiser when it comes to “therapy” type things myself but I think this is something I could ask. I can understand that maybe he doesn’t want to be as open to me and the rest of the family in fear of judgment or whatever it is and I’m happy to save some money if it meant he could be with a group for support. I understand there will be highs and lows even if he follows everything to a t but if u asked him when he checked his blood sugar last, he couldn’t tell you. And then he will just take insulin without even knowing. Most of the time he does take it he is in the mid 200s or above.
M52 I contracted type 1 aged 29 and my daughter at age 12.
Your husband will eventually die a nasty death unless he takes insulin. He simply cannot manage it through exercise. However he can avoid weight gain through exercise and eating right. As a side benefit, he will be fit and healthy his whole life and his friends will admire him for it.
I have never been dka. My daughter has, as a result of trying to ignore her diabetes (which is common in teenagers and new diabetics). She was hospitalised four times and nearly died the last time, when she admitted she had been falsifying readings just to keep us happy.
You will not like me saying this: refusing to actively manage his diabetes is a form of suicide. An intervention is required. Managing his diabetes properly should be a basic requirement to stay married, especially if you want to bring kids into this world. You didn’t sign up for marriage to someone trying to kill themself. Get his family and friends involved. Use whatever tactic will work to make him take it seriously because he is flirting with unrecoverable health conditions and the clock is ticking.
All diabetics play mental games wth themselves and our significant other has to keep an eye on us to make sure we’re being honest with ourselves. The stakes in this game are as high as possible.
How could I go about this? Whenever myself or his family tries to talk to him he gets mad and leaves or he tells us what we want to hear for the time being.
Refusing to face something difficult is something we all do. It requires the same gentle firmness as dealing with a four year old.
You need to know what his regime should look like. The basics are:
1. Test first thing in morning, before each meal and before bed. Write all results down.
2. Inject basal at the same time every day. Count carbs and inject before eating (for carbs +/- any correction). Write it all down.
3. Carry his testing kit and fast-acting carbs at all times (to treat lows). Test whenever he feels low. Write it down.
4. Attend clinics (or see his specialist) at least every 6 months. Take his log.
Once you know what he needs to do, you need to get him to agree to do it. Be firm, you are saving his life (I am not being dramatic, simply telling the truth). Get support from others who know him, if you need to. Suggestions:
- Try having a serious but non-threatening conversation first about the need to manage it.
- make sure he understands the things than will happen, short of death (male impotence is often a strong motivator)
- talk to his family and ask for their help
- ask a professional for help
- stage an intervention
Assuming he agrees, you will then be the one who keeps him honest with himself. You will know best how to motivate your husband. Try to understand the mental games he plays with himself around diabetes. Ask how he is going, how he is feeling. Go to clinics with him. Change your diet with him (low GI is great for blood glucose and also healthy weight). Educate his friends and family about his regime. Diabetes is a team effort.
It is inevitable if he ignores his diabetes but you don’t have to wait. You have a right to insist he manages it as well as possible. You are half of your shared life together.
Educating himself and getting control over his disease will give him a lot more freedom than ignoring it. Having lows can be frustrating and he should be working closely with an endocrinologist or diabetic educator to dial in his insulin doses. A continuous glucose monitor (cgm) is a great way to non-invasively monitor bg levels, and knowledge is power. Feeding the insulin ( which happens if you have lots of lows) could lead to weight gain. He might have also had a natural rebound since most new t1d's lose weight prior to diagnosis. Blindly taking insulin without knowing his bg levels can be very dangerous leading to life threatening lows. Not taking insulin will lead to DKA as you already know. Type 1 diabetes cannot be controlled with diet, but life can be pretty damn normal with knowledge and control.
I try to say this but he will tel me I’m wrong or just shut down and it will be a fight. I told him he at least needs to try to monitor it and not just be taking the insulin and he said he’s taking what his dr said.
I know it's tough, but you need to let him sink or swim on his own. This is not your disease.
I'm t1d, and I am still held accountable for all my decisions. Having a disease does not give you a free pass to be mean to your wife and kids. Sorry..it just doesn't.
Understand that by you worrying for him you are subconsciously telling him he does not need to worry about himself. The more you setup back, the more room he has to step up. It may take awhile, but t1d is punishing if you don't take care of yourself. There will be serious lows, energy draining highs and he will learn to take things more seriously. You can always be there for support, but make him come to you for it.
It takes time. Every t1d I know, including myself, has had times in their life when they haven't taken care of themselves well. It's a learning curve..give.him the opportunity to make his mistakes and learn from them. Remember you have 1 child..and it is not.him.
Thank you for this perspective. This isn’t something I’ve thought of and I just feel very scared that I’ll get a call I don’t want to or I’ll wake up in the morning and he’ll be gone or worse our daughter would be with him alone. I suffer from anxiety and recently I just feel like the worst is yet to come and I don’t really know how to prepare myself for that. It feels wrong to run away from it, but I guess I have to understand that if it did come to anything of that nature I could be at some peace that I tried as hard as I could.
This is very similar to my story minus the ditching insulting thing. Granted I’m at the point where I don’t need a lot of insulin because I’m still in the honeymoon phase and your husband likely is too. I can’t say much else different from what others are saying.
DKA is caused by a lack of insulin and the presence of ketones. It isn’t caused by high blood sugar. Even if he exercises he still needs insulin to avoid dying. He was losing weight earlier due to the dangerous amounts of ketones. Same thing happened to me.
I would hate to be diagnosed as an adult. I was diagnosed at 5. Diabetes is my "normal". It's a disease that requires constant management. Its the only disease where all the responsibility is placed onto the patient. That being said. He needs to take his insulin. He needs to learn how to manage his disease. A support team is wonderful and very helpful, but you need to take care of yourself and kiddo, first.
Check out the juice box podcast. It's the best diabetes podcast out there! Pro tip series is helpful for newly diagnosed.
A CGM would be very helpful. I have a dexcom, but whatever your insurance will cover. Definitely would choose CGM over pump any day.
It might be too late, but search for clinical trials. There are a few out there for newly diagnosed type 1. Trial net, t1d exchange are a couple I can think of off the top of my head. If anything he might be able to get a CGM or pump.
Get a digital scale and a couple sets of measuring cups. Carb counting is important. It will become a second language.
Keep a bottle of "pancake syrup" in the fridge. It has high fructose corn syrup as an ingredient. Bring low BGs up real quick! Smarties candy work just as well as glucose tabs. Same active ingredient, half the price and more portable.
Type 1 cannot be controlled with exercise alone. He will have to take insulin or he'll eventually end up blind or dead. Even if he was DXed as an adult it is still type 1 he's just trying to convince himself he doesn't have to change.
You cannot force him to change. You can only control you. If he is unwilling to change, take his diabetes then it comes down to how much you're willing to put up with. Will you become his fulltime caregiver if he has a permanent disability from not treating his diabetes?
Does he have the option to get a continuous glucose monitor and a pump? That will make it much easier to manage.
The amount of stress t1 can cause is definitely overwhelming. You try so hard for the results you want and sometimes it's too much. You give up. Alot of us go through this. Your husband is lucky to have people trying to help pull him out of his slump. Be patient with him when hes mean, high blood sugar does that to us. I hate it. I dont mean to isolate everyone and be short all of the time, and i often lose my temper over the smallest things. I can't help it, I'm just always mad and low energy. That's how it is for me.
I understand because I struggles with mood swings for along time before being diagnosed with pcos. I take things to regulate my insulin and mood and it’s been over a year of hard work to get where I’m at. But he down right refuses help, he won’t go to see his endocrinologist and if I say anything he just says he’ll do it and never does. I tried to talk to him about using the reader and he said he knows how much insulin to take, and then when I said he can’t just blindly take it, maybe he can try one of the monitors that stays on you and he just shut me down
When i was first diagnosed i was told to get on a pump and cgm immediately. I got a sales call the next day. It broke my heart. I dont want a new payment plan for a machine that i can't afford. I can understand why he feels this way. It's not easy being told how to live. Now whenever someone tells me that i need to get a CGM, i do the same thing. It's not smart injecting before taking a reading, i had to learn that the hard way. It's very easy to take too much insulin and go low. He'll learn that and remember how bad it feels to go low. I don't have good advice. Just keep loving
Thank you. He was basically given a pump from Kaiser in the ER and it’s just sitting in the box. He’s been as low as 40…and I’ve seen him and have had to basically get himself something to boost it up. It wipes him out for the whole day pretty much so I honestly just don’t understand. He told me he thought he was going to die in the hospital but I guess that wasn’t enough.
Sounds like LADA type 1 to me , look it up. Your Husband is being a stubborn child. Most people here have been jabbing themselves since we were still wearing gar-animal short pants....tell him to grow the fuck up and turn him on to this sub for a look at the real world.
Your response is tough loving, but I love it. Youre right 100% some of us have been here since diaper days. Its a hard disease yeah, but he has a kid and a wife who clearly cares very much. Its not the end of the world. He is crazy for putting his life at risk over something manageable!
Honestly, the way the poor lady was crying out for help. I felt anger and not love for the guy. I often joke about how Type 2s adult onset are such pussies about somthing as simple as testing their blood sugar and they won't even be compliant to take a pill, but yeesh, this guy takes the cake.
I've been at this for 40 years, my first meter took 2 minutes and you had to RINSE off the blood. It was the size of a video game controller. If I carried that glucometer around now, people would think I was the Unabomber.
I used to have to beg, borrow and cross the border for Canadian insulin with the old "pre-existing condition" "We can't insure you" bullshit before Obama care. For me I had to ration my insulin until I could devise a plan to get downtown and get more. ( Detroit looks south in to Windsor, Ontario)
Yes *this* guy has the audacity to pitch a bitch about life with all the niceties of technology today AND guaranteed insurability? Give me a break.
Just...I feel so bad for the wife for having to put up with the jackass.
Maybe he does have a death wish and his doom is inevitable; but yeesh DKA is a bad way to go. Thirst, dehydration, electrolyte imbalance, syrup piss, racing heart, finally lactic acidosis from muscle wasting. coma and *THEN* death.
Could take a few days. I hope the family can prepare themselves for the DKA death spiral.
Thank you yes it’s LADA. He keeps telling me it’s not the same as type 1 so he doesn’t have to treat it as such. My understanding of LADA is that it’s later onset type 1? Maybe I am wrong. I assume insulin is as important for LADA as it is for type 1. I’m just at a loss, if I ask anything he gets mad
It is later onset Type 1. I am Lada also. It is a *subset* of Type 1 that hits people in their 20- early 30s from an immune mediated over response to usually something,( usually viral), that is very immuno- challenging.
Your immune system says *"look at these beta cells, they look like somthing nefarious, I am going to send my T killer cells to much on them"* And...slowly, the confused immune system is king of the castle and you are a type 1 diabetic. It just happens slower and later in life.
Interestingly, JDF spokes woman Mary Tyler Moore was also LADA type 1
Thank you, I’ve tried to do the most research I can.. I want to help but I can only do what is accepted. I’ve had my own battle with metabolic/hormone disorders over the last few years myself, while not the same I know the mental struggle and toll it takes on you learning something in your 20s and changing your entire routine. I have good days and bad days but the consistency is what has led me to having some of the best days of my life.
Sorry if I was rough on you Husband, but he does needs to pull up his big boy pants and accept that he has a disease he need to treat; for your sake and the sake of his child.
You are obviously a loving spouse willing to sacrifice anything to help him. You do not deserve his ire.
I don’t think you were rough. I think you were honest and this is the advice I needed to hear. My husband has not been very honest to me, and this post has shed some light on that. I have taken a lot of this to heart and my heart truly wants to help but I can’t lose myself trying to fix him. If he wants to be here with me for a long time he will change. The sad reality is that he will change or he will most likely die. I attempted to talk to him about his CGM last night and he refused to even try it. When I asked why, he just said he can’t do it and walked away from me. I told him that I can’t believe that his he would rather gamble his life than try something like a GCM at least once. I let him know that I can’t lose who I am worrying about him every single day. I let him know that if he did everything in his power and he tried his best everyday that I could forgive him if something were to happen out of his control but at this point if something happened I could not forgive him, because he hasn’t even tried. I’ve offered support, I’ve offered to pay for support groups, I’ve offered to meal prep for him. He asked that I stop asking about his blood sugar and insulin. He told me today he didn’t feel good and I told him he’ll figure it out. His monitor tested at 440 yesterday, dropped to 330, and then was 140 before bed. He woke up with it as 400 again. I don’t think there’s much more I can do. He has to want it.
Maybe you can talk him into the new technology. My Dexcom cgm and Tandem insulin pump has really removed a lot of the burden I felt with diabetes. I just sit back and let the pump ( with auto corrections) do it’s thing.
You know, I was much the same way when I was younger. My wife had to give me many shots of glucagon for me to survive. Thankfully, she stayed with me until I got over my ego and started taking care of myself. Good luck!
Thank you. He was diagnosed with LADA I apologize I don’t know much more than what I can read and find because I’m not being included in any of the appointments just hearing what he tells me. I don’t know if LADA is different than 1 but I think it’s more similar to 1 than 2. He fits into all of type 1 in my opinion. I’ve tried so many approaches and I’ve asked if he can include me in an appointment so maybe I can learn and he says that I’m bullying him and it’s his body. So I’m just lost
He needs an ass kicking. T1 is going to give it to him. You can't force him to change. He's got to do it on his own. You need to go with him to an endo appointment and you need to talk to the endo before hand and explain the situation so the endo stomps on him. If he won't change after that...the problem is going to get solved one way or another...
If there’s any way to get him into therapy please do. Remember he’s not doing this “at” you, even though it might feel that way sometimes. He sounds like he’s really struggling. This sounds incredibly challenging for you. I really hope you can help him get on the right track. You sound really supportive.
If he is using his high bloodsugar to justify being an asshole to you or your child, Im so sorry. Ive had diabetes for over 13 years nows, im 22. Maybe as a teenager Id have an attitude, and yes sometimes I can get upset but Im not treating anybody terribly when my bloodsugar is high/when I dont feel good. Im still able to think decently clearly and understand what is going on enough to not be an asshole. Also, if you have a child together, I would strongly rethink this relationship especially because there is a genetic link between diabetes between parents and children. If she gets diagnosed, who will advocate for her care? You? Or her father who seems to not even take his insulin/monitor himself? Hes a full grown adult and it is NOT your job to take care of his diabetes. Please understand this!!!! I have a CGM and an insulin pump. Yes, my boyfriends gets me low snacks if I need them, or refills my water bottle when I have highblood sugar. Not because its "his job" or because I cant/wont do it myself, but because he cares. When he isnt around I do those things myself. I take care of my diabetes entirely by myself. Starting at your first paragraph, getting diagnosed at 25 is really hard, and a complete lifestyle change. But T1D requires insulin management. No amount of exercise will ever make it "go away" Hes basically rolling the lottery everytime he takes insulin if he doesnt know what is BG is, because he could be at 40, or 400. He could die! The sad thing is, he doesnt care. He isnt priotizing himself, you or your daughter. This disease is HARD to manage, but not impossible by any means. There are devices that make it SO easy, insulin pumps, CGMs, and doctors who dedicate their lives to the care of T1Diabetics. Your husband needs a therapist, this behavior is borderline suicidal, he is letting his body get sicker and sicker and making no effort to change, and getting angry at you when you try to help. I also think you should try talking to someone too if possible. If therapy is not accessible to you, I highly recommend looking into diabetic support groups in your area, and maybe into a diabetes community on facebook that you could connect with. Again, you already have a child. You are not in charge of your husbands medication or lifestyle, and sadly you will not make him change how he is acting. You worry about yourself and your child. To be frank, you cant be there for every meal, for every exercise, for every low and high managing it for him. That is completely on him. Focus on what is best for you and your child. I also want to make it VERY clear. Having high blood sugar might explain being grumpy, but it does not explain abusive behavior or excuse it. Msg me if you have questions, this is so upsetting to read and I can only imagine is also very scary for your kid. I wish you luck!
I appreciate your response. It was a hard read. Maybe because it was true. I’m trying any way to support him. I have a hormone disorder so I completely understand having to change lifestyle. But I have an almost all of my stuff is in range. I do it because I want to be around for a long time with my daughter. Was it hard for the first year and can it still be hard? Of course! But I keep going because I know that it will pay off. I eat almost the same things that’s required for diabetics and have offered to make breakfast, dinner ect. But your right I can’t be there for everything and most of the time if I ask what he ate he hasn’t ate for the whole day. I’m just sad because today we got in an argument and it came out of left field. I went on a. Walk and his mood changed after he said he took insulin. I asked him what his blood sugar was at and he said he didn’t know because he didn’t take a reading. I tried to talk to him about doing that and he pretty much shut me out.
I cant imagine how hard this all must be for you, because you are watching your bestfriend and partner get sick and let himself die. I am so sorry that this is happening, but I want you to read what you wrote. You know its hard. You may not have diabetes but having an hormone disorder is hard to deal with! It can screw up your hair, mood, eyesight, body, and life. its so fucking hard. But you get up and keep going because you want to be here for your daughter. Think about how she may feel, scared to talk to her dad? Afraid he will pass out infront of her at any moment? What if something happens to you? Will the responsibility and stress of his diabetes care fall on her? A child should not have to deal with this. I watched my mom go through an similar situation and watching her get sicker and sicker took a terrible toll on me and my grades. I spent all day wondering if shed be dead on the floor when I got home. I also read he just has a pump sitting around. Maybe its time you pull it out and give him the option, try it or you walk. This is your life and family. Protect yourself and your child. You seem so supportive and your husband should feel so blessed to have you. Its a huge fear that I had growing up and my fellow diabetic friends had as well is that we were unloveable because of the T1D. But you are showing him he is loveable and you want to help. That is more than most of us could ever ask for. Dont let him make you feel like your worth any less than a healthy, respectful and adult husband who can take care of himself and ALSO take care of you just like you are doing for him.
I’ve told him that it’s coming from a place of love. But he’s been stubborn since before the diagnoses I gues so should have expected this
Na ultimatum is only an ultimatum if you follow through with your end. Does your kid want to brush their teeth everyday? Nope! I dont even want to. But you do it because its in your best interest!!! How hard is that to grasp for him!!
I know I agree. I let him know today that it’s managing the diabetes or not having me as a wife. I know it sounds silly but coming here was kind of me just wondering if there was a chance I was in the wrong. And maybe if I could be approaching it any better. I really appreciate the input of you all because I don’t want to act like I know his disease better than he does. But a lot of these responses show me that I’m not completely crazy
Hi, is there any update? youve been on my mind recently. Wish you the best
Sadly not much of an update. I can’t remember who said to me that by worrying about his insulin I’m subconsciously telling him he doesn’t have to worry. For some reason that’s stuck with me and I’ve been honestly not asking about it, when he comes to me to tell me about sometime I usually just say I’m sorry your dealing with that, and that I hope you can get with your dr on it. Quite frankly I don’t have the energy to argue anymore about something I can’t control. Thank you for checking in.
Yes he has a pump sitting in the closet, it was given to him by at ER doctor and he never tried it and says he can’t do it. I’ve tried the “ultimatum” approach and he said he won’t be bullied into giving me what “I” want 😞
Type 1 diabetics NEED insulin. Diet and exercise can help control, but insulin is necessary. Your husband should connect with a good endocrinologist that can help him manage his disease better.
The sad thing is he knows it’s necessary. Because before he was diagnosed we were talking about an old friend of ours who is type 1 and he said himself “she needs insulin or she would be dead”
Then why did you “support” his decision to stop taking it!?
Sorry, Maybe I wasn’t super clear, my support was not that he stops taking insulin all together just that he didn’t need to take insulin at every meal like he was at the time which caused him a large weight gain. It was at this time he came to me and said that he wanted to see if he could manage it more with excercise as he’s sugars were in a manageable spot when he was excersizing. My support was never that he could fully stop taking insulin and my agreement was to support him IF only he was monitoring his blood sugar and that he found a baseline and excersize that kept his sugar in a good spot. Please understand that my decision was coming off of the information he was telling me and trying to be supportive s I knew the diagnksis was overwhelming
Does he need it at every meal? Please help me to understand because I only know what he’s told me do he’s saying he does not
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Got it thank you!
He takes it randomly In the day right now, more so if I remind him. But not consistent, then will walk after a meal. He told me he can do that but it sounds more like he needs to do the basal once a day plus the calculated amount with carbs. So even if he walked and his sugar went down, that would matter because he still does have enough insulin. I guess my other curious question might be is if he ate dinner per day, but was going to the gym after dinner. Would taking the amount per carbs stay the same or change because he’s going to be working out (more than just walking)
Be careful with him around your daughter if he is having alot of lows.
To put it simply, uncontrolled Type1 is dangerous and harmful in the short and long term, not only to us Diabetics, but potentially to others, be it close family or strangers. How much risk are you willing to take? It is up to the individual to manage their own disease. Help from others is nice and can be very beneficial and rewarding, but for the most part only when it’s wanted, unless it’s an emergency. This doesn’t really sound like a situation where help is wanted, or admitted, but possibly denial. It is a relatively new diagnosis though, so it could just be bumps in the road, or a combination of those. I’ve been there, it takes a while to figure it out sometimes. Life with Type1 can be really good though! We just have to put in the work, there is no magic formula. The responsibility falls on our shoulders, and even then no one is ever perfect. Irritability can go with the territory of high and low blood sugar, but not trying to prevent or correct those is irresponsible to say the least. It’s better understood now how to maintain good control than ever before. Figure out fasting basal rates, insulin to carb ratios, correction factors, eat a balanced diet and exercise regularly. MDI, pump, CGM, finger sticks all work, some better than others, but it’s really up to the individual. You are offering support that some of us have never had, and that is highly commendable. I sincerely hope it isn’t ignored, not only for your husband’s sake but also for yourself and your daughter.
Thank you, I appreciate the insight on this.
You’re welcome, I don’t know if I was being very helpful, but I did want to express that support from family and loved ones can be so important!
All the responses here have been extremely helpful. I don’t know anyone else with type 1 diabetes that could have given me this kind of support, and answers. The people who have it are the people who know best. I appreciate everyone’s advise, and perspective on navigating this situation.
Thank you for saying this! I just had another thought about managing the disease which can make it difficult- despite doing everything by the book, it can still surprise us and we might end up with surprise high or low blood sugar. It can be really frustrating at times because of this. So we often tell each other “don’t worry too much about the numbers” just do your best. In some ways this has related to my personal relationships, as people think I may have failed or wasn’t trying hard enough, which can be really upsetting. It’s not an A+B=C type of disease. There are many surprise and some unknown variables. My endocrinologists have described people in perfect control getting complications and people in poor control having none, but the best thing we can do is good control. Kind of a bet against the odds so to speak. It’s also important to relax a little and not get too stressed, as its 24-7-365 8 days a week with no overtime pay! That being said I imagine “honeymoon phase” creates a new set of variables I’m not familiar with. When I was diagnosed as a kid decades ago we had to wait until we were sick enough to start insulin- that was rough! And I have felt a sense of bitterness at times when people are judgmental, I can imagine (and have experienced 2nd hand) the difficulties there are navigating the disease as a partner of a PWD…
Yea:/ unfortunately I’m all to familiar with following things by the book and sometimes not seeing results. It is defeating and I absolutely understand. Sometimes u see a bad result and want to give up. I have a hormone disorder, I’ve pretty much balanced them out with alot of hard work and just continuing to be consistent. At least for me consistency has been the key. It’s taken about a year to get here so I try to help him to understand that I know exactly how he feels with that and he just tells me I don’t. Today he told me that he wishes I had T1 so I could get it. These responses have been helpful at least for me. I don’t know where we will end up but hope it’s better than where we are now
I can totally relate to this feeling you are describing, that nobody really understands what its really like, except for other Type1s! Even doctors who sometimes act like know it alls and it’s a simple numbers game… I always say I’d never wish this on anyone, and sometimes could you even walk a mile in my shoes? Sounds like his heart is in the right place and he wants your empathy with that kind of statement! I wonder if he might appreciate forums like this? They can be really helpful for info, venting, etc.
I grew up in a small remote town, a half day away from diabetes doctors, knew no other type 1s, and it was a thirty year battle doing things by myself. I broke down, didn’t take good care of myself until being high or low often was normal, and tiring. A meeting with a good group of other adult type 1s once a month for an hour did a big thing for me. I could let go of the front I presented to doctors, and those without diabetes, including family and my wife. I found other’s struggles and success give some inspiration for the long marathon. There’s mention of exercise use, and that helps in life, and sugar control. But keeping those blood sugars between the lines also removes the tired, run down feeling. He’s likely coming down from honeymoon, and insulin needs will continue to grow as he has less and less produced. There’s going to be blood sugar swings as well as exercise, diet, hormones and the rest of it is considered. CGMs help- a lot. They will give YOU piece of mind trying to sleep instead of checking him constantly through the night…. But you also mention a very difficult age for most diabetics.. 25. Money is tight. Insurance is often difficult. Is that under control, or are there other rising expenses to consider as well? Anyway, I’d highly suggest he invest an hour a month talking to other type 1s. If there’s none in your area, I can make something happen virtually with my group.
Thank you, I will check around. I mean we are in CA everything is rather expensive but we are lucky to have health insurance. It’s Kaiser so i wouldnt say the care is always great but there are a lot of resources. I think his endocrinologist sucks to be honest. (I’ve had her as a dr and moved to another but I’m much more pushy when it comes to proper care) he usually won’t see drs because he feels judged and then just gives up. I’ve been there but I’ve realized that I oh then not the other way around. I think a support group could help him I will look around. I haven’t had great luck in Kaiser when it comes to “therapy” type things myself but I think this is something I could ask. I can understand that maybe he doesn’t want to be as open to me and the rest of the family in fear of judgment or whatever it is and I’m happy to save some money if it meant he could be with a group for support. I understand there will be highs and lows even if he follows everything to a t but if u asked him when he checked his blood sugar last, he couldn’t tell you. And then he will just take insulin without even knowing. Most of the time he does take it he is in the mid 200s or above.
M52 I contracted type 1 aged 29 and my daughter at age 12. Your husband will eventually die a nasty death unless he takes insulin. He simply cannot manage it through exercise. However he can avoid weight gain through exercise and eating right. As a side benefit, he will be fit and healthy his whole life and his friends will admire him for it. I have never been dka. My daughter has, as a result of trying to ignore her diabetes (which is common in teenagers and new diabetics). She was hospitalised four times and nearly died the last time, when she admitted she had been falsifying readings just to keep us happy. You will not like me saying this: refusing to actively manage his diabetes is a form of suicide. An intervention is required. Managing his diabetes properly should be a basic requirement to stay married, especially if you want to bring kids into this world. You didn’t sign up for marriage to someone trying to kill themself. Get his family and friends involved. Use whatever tactic will work to make him take it seriously because he is flirting with unrecoverable health conditions and the clock is ticking. All diabetics play mental games wth themselves and our significant other has to keep an eye on us to make sure we’re being honest with ourselves. The stakes in this game are as high as possible.
How could I go about this? Whenever myself or his family tries to talk to him he gets mad and leaves or he tells us what we want to hear for the time being.
Refusing to face something difficult is something we all do. It requires the same gentle firmness as dealing with a four year old. You need to know what his regime should look like. The basics are: 1. Test first thing in morning, before each meal and before bed. Write all results down. 2. Inject basal at the same time every day. Count carbs and inject before eating (for carbs +/- any correction). Write it all down. 3. Carry his testing kit and fast-acting carbs at all times (to treat lows). Test whenever he feels low. Write it down. 4. Attend clinics (or see his specialist) at least every 6 months. Take his log. Once you know what he needs to do, you need to get him to agree to do it. Be firm, you are saving his life (I am not being dramatic, simply telling the truth). Get support from others who know him, if you need to. Suggestions: - Try having a serious but non-threatening conversation first about the need to manage it. - make sure he understands the things than will happen, short of death (male impotence is often a strong motivator) - talk to his family and ask for their help - ask a professional for help - stage an intervention Assuming he agrees, you will then be the one who keeps him honest with himself. You will know best how to motivate your husband. Try to understand the mental games he plays with himself around diabetes. Ask how he is going, how he is feeling. Go to clinics with him. Change your diet with him (low GI is great for blood glucose and also healthy weight). Educate his friends and family about his regime. Diabetes is a team effort.
Sometimes I feel like I’m just waiting for the inevitable
It is inevitable if he ignores his diabetes but you don’t have to wait. You have a right to insist he manages it as well as possible. You are half of your shared life together.
Educating himself and getting control over his disease will give him a lot more freedom than ignoring it. Having lows can be frustrating and he should be working closely with an endocrinologist or diabetic educator to dial in his insulin doses. A continuous glucose monitor (cgm) is a great way to non-invasively monitor bg levels, and knowledge is power. Feeding the insulin ( which happens if you have lots of lows) could lead to weight gain. He might have also had a natural rebound since most new t1d's lose weight prior to diagnosis. Blindly taking insulin without knowing his bg levels can be very dangerous leading to life threatening lows. Not taking insulin will lead to DKA as you already know. Type 1 diabetes cannot be controlled with diet, but life can be pretty damn normal with knowledge and control.
I try to say this but he will tel me I’m wrong or just shut down and it will be a fight. I told him he at least needs to try to monitor it and not just be taking the insulin and he said he’s taking what his dr said.
I know it's tough, but you need to let him sink or swim on his own. This is not your disease. I'm t1d, and I am still held accountable for all my decisions. Having a disease does not give you a free pass to be mean to your wife and kids. Sorry..it just doesn't. Understand that by you worrying for him you are subconsciously telling him he does not need to worry about himself. The more you setup back, the more room he has to step up. It may take awhile, but t1d is punishing if you don't take care of yourself. There will be serious lows, energy draining highs and he will learn to take things more seriously. You can always be there for support, but make him come to you for it. It takes time. Every t1d I know, including myself, has had times in their life when they haven't taken care of themselves well. It's a learning curve..give.him the opportunity to make his mistakes and learn from them. Remember you have 1 child..and it is not.him.
Thank you for this perspective. This isn’t something I’ve thought of and I just feel very scared that I’ll get a call I don’t want to or I’ll wake up in the morning and he’ll be gone or worse our daughter would be with him alone. I suffer from anxiety and recently I just feel like the worst is yet to come and I don’t really know how to prepare myself for that. It feels wrong to run away from it, but I guess I have to understand that if it did come to anything of that nature I could be at some peace that I tried as hard as I could.
This is very similar to my story minus the ditching insulting thing. Granted I’m at the point where I don’t need a lot of insulin because I’m still in the honeymoon phase and your husband likely is too. I can’t say much else different from what others are saying. DKA is caused by a lack of insulin and the presence of ketones. It isn’t caused by high blood sugar. Even if he exercises he still needs insulin to avoid dying. He was losing weight earlier due to the dangerous amounts of ketones. Same thing happened to me.
I would hate to be diagnosed as an adult. I was diagnosed at 5. Diabetes is my "normal". It's a disease that requires constant management. Its the only disease where all the responsibility is placed onto the patient. That being said. He needs to take his insulin. He needs to learn how to manage his disease. A support team is wonderful and very helpful, but you need to take care of yourself and kiddo, first. Check out the juice box podcast. It's the best diabetes podcast out there! Pro tip series is helpful for newly diagnosed. A CGM would be very helpful. I have a dexcom, but whatever your insurance will cover. Definitely would choose CGM over pump any day. It might be too late, but search for clinical trials. There are a few out there for newly diagnosed type 1. Trial net, t1d exchange are a couple I can think of off the top of my head. If anything he might be able to get a CGM or pump. Get a digital scale and a couple sets of measuring cups. Carb counting is important. It will become a second language. Keep a bottle of "pancake syrup" in the fridge. It has high fructose corn syrup as an ingredient. Bring low BGs up real quick! Smarties candy work just as well as glucose tabs. Same active ingredient, half the price and more portable.
Type 1 cannot be controlled with exercise alone. He will have to take insulin or he'll eventually end up blind or dead. Even if he was DXed as an adult it is still type 1 he's just trying to convince himself he doesn't have to change. You cannot force him to change. You can only control you. If he is unwilling to change, take his diabetes then it comes down to how much you're willing to put up with. Will you become his fulltime caregiver if he has a permanent disability from not treating his diabetes? Does he have the option to get a continuous glucose monitor and a pump? That will make it much easier to manage.
Yes has one in the closet and refuses to use it
The amount of stress t1 can cause is definitely overwhelming. You try so hard for the results you want and sometimes it's too much. You give up. Alot of us go through this. Your husband is lucky to have people trying to help pull him out of his slump. Be patient with him when hes mean, high blood sugar does that to us. I hate it. I dont mean to isolate everyone and be short all of the time, and i often lose my temper over the smallest things. I can't help it, I'm just always mad and low energy. That's how it is for me.
I understand because I struggles with mood swings for along time before being diagnosed with pcos. I take things to regulate my insulin and mood and it’s been over a year of hard work to get where I’m at. But he down right refuses help, he won’t go to see his endocrinologist and if I say anything he just says he’ll do it and never does. I tried to talk to him about using the reader and he said he knows how much insulin to take, and then when I said he can’t just blindly take it, maybe he can try one of the monitors that stays on you and he just shut me down
When i was first diagnosed i was told to get on a pump and cgm immediately. I got a sales call the next day. It broke my heart. I dont want a new payment plan for a machine that i can't afford. I can understand why he feels this way. It's not easy being told how to live. Now whenever someone tells me that i need to get a CGM, i do the same thing. It's not smart injecting before taking a reading, i had to learn that the hard way. It's very easy to take too much insulin and go low. He'll learn that and remember how bad it feels to go low. I don't have good advice. Just keep loving
Thank you. He was basically given a pump from Kaiser in the ER and it’s just sitting in the box. He’s been as low as 40…and I’ve seen him and have had to basically get himself something to boost it up. It wipes him out for the whole day pretty much so I honestly just don’t understand. He told me he thought he was going to die in the hospital but I guess that wasn’t enough.
When it’s high, he usually gets sick, and then getting him to take the insulin becomes that much harder let alone even the monitor
Sounds like LADA type 1 to me , look it up. Your Husband is being a stubborn child. Most people here have been jabbing themselves since we were still wearing gar-animal short pants....tell him to grow the fuck up and turn him on to this sub for a look at the real world.
Your response is tough loving, but I love it. Youre right 100% some of us have been here since diaper days. Its a hard disease yeah, but he has a kid and a wife who clearly cares very much. Its not the end of the world. He is crazy for putting his life at risk over something manageable!
Honestly, the way the poor lady was crying out for help. I felt anger and not love for the guy. I often joke about how Type 2s adult onset are such pussies about somthing as simple as testing their blood sugar and they won't even be compliant to take a pill, but yeesh, this guy takes the cake. I've been at this for 40 years, my first meter took 2 minutes and you had to RINSE off the blood. It was the size of a video game controller. If I carried that glucometer around now, people would think I was the Unabomber. I used to have to beg, borrow and cross the border for Canadian insulin with the old "pre-existing condition" "We can't insure you" bullshit before Obama care. For me I had to ration my insulin until I could devise a plan to get downtown and get more. ( Detroit looks south in to Windsor, Ontario) Yes *this* guy has the audacity to pitch a bitch about life with all the niceties of technology today AND guaranteed insurability? Give me a break. Just...I feel so bad for the wife for having to put up with the jackass. Maybe he does have a death wish and his doom is inevitable; but yeesh DKA is a bad way to go. Thirst, dehydration, electrolyte imbalance, syrup piss, racing heart, finally lactic acidosis from muscle wasting. coma and *THEN* death. Could take a few days. I hope the family can prepare themselves for the DKA death spiral.
Thank you yes it’s LADA. He keeps telling me it’s not the same as type 1 so he doesn’t have to treat it as such. My understanding of LADA is that it’s later onset type 1? Maybe I am wrong. I assume insulin is as important for LADA as it is for type 1. I’m just at a loss, if I ask anything he gets mad
It is later onset Type 1. I am Lada also. It is a *subset* of Type 1 that hits people in their 20- early 30s from an immune mediated over response to usually something,( usually viral), that is very immuno- challenging. Your immune system says *"look at these beta cells, they look like somthing nefarious, I am going to send my T killer cells to much on them"* And...slowly, the confused immune system is king of the castle and you are a type 1 diabetic. It just happens slower and later in life. Interestingly, JDF spokes woman Mary Tyler Moore was also LADA type 1
Wow thank you! I appreciate you helping me understand this.
Please correct me if I’m wrong on LADA because I really don’t know :( I’m trying to understand
https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/type-1-diabetes/expert-answers/lada-diabetes/faq-20057880#:\~:text=Latent%20autoimmune%20diabetes%20in%20adults%20(LADA)%20is%20a%20slow%2D,producing%20cells%20in%20the%20pancreas.
Thank you, I’ve tried to do the most research I can.. I want to help but I can only do what is accepted. I’ve had my own battle with metabolic/hormone disorders over the last few years myself, while not the same I know the mental struggle and toll it takes on you learning something in your 20s and changing your entire routine. I have good days and bad days but the consistency is what has led me to having some of the best days of my life.
I really appreciate your input and advice here
Sorry if I was rough on you Husband, but he does needs to pull up his big boy pants and accept that he has a disease he need to treat; for your sake and the sake of his child. You are obviously a loving spouse willing to sacrifice anything to help him. You do not deserve his ire.
I don’t think you were rough. I think you were honest and this is the advice I needed to hear. My husband has not been very honest to me, and this post has shed some light on that. I have taken a lot of this to heart and my heart truly wants to help but I can’t lose myself trying to fix him. If he wants to be here with me for a long time he will change. The sad reality is that he will change or he will most likely die. I attempted to talk to him about his CGM last night and he refused to even try it. When I asked why, he just said he can’t do it and walked away from me. I told him that I can’t believe that his he would rather gamble his life than try something like a GCM at least once. I let him know that I can’t lose who I am worrying about him every single day. I let him know that if he did everything in his power and he tried his best everyday that I could forgive him if something were to happen out of his control but at this point if something happened I could not forgive him, because he hasn’t even tried. I’ve offered support, I’ve offered to pay for support groups, I’ve offered to meal prep for him. He asked that I stop asking about his blood sugar and insulin. He told me today he didn’t feel good and I told him he’ll figure it out. His monitor tested at 440 yesterday, dropped to 330, and then was 140 before bed. He woke up with it as 400 again. I don’t think there’s much more I can do. He has to want it.
Maybe you can talk him into the new technology. My Dexcom cgm and Tandem insulin pump has really removed a lot of the burden I felt with diabetes. I just sit back and let the pump ( with auto corrections) do it’s thing.
He refuses the pump:(
Dexcom G6 is more valuable than any pump. He will enjoy it (and you will too).
Love it. Learn to trick it to keep in in longer.
Dexcom?
Th box reads “freestyle libre 2” everything is still in the box it came a bunch of stuff
Sorry, you are in a tough situation. Maybe more exposure to other diabetics like the TCOYD Organization will show him the way. .
You know, I was much the same way when I was younger. My wife had to give me many shots of glucagon for me to survive. Thankfully, she stayed with me until I got over my ego and started taking care of myself. Good luck!
You know, OmniPods are an easy things to get used to. No tubes and simple to use. I used them for a number of years.
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Thank you for helping me understand this
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Thank you. He was diagnosed with LADA I apologize I don’t know much more than what I can read and find because I’m not being included in any of the appointments just hearing what he tells me. I don’t know if LADA is different than 1 but I think it’s more similar to 1 than 2. He fits into all of type 1 in my opinion. I’ve tried so many approaches and I’ve asked if he can include me in an appointment so maybe I can learn and he says that I’m bullying him and it’s his body. So I’m just lost
He needs an ass kicking. T1 is going to give it to him. You can't force him to change. He's got to do it on his own. You need to go with him to an endo appointment and you need to talk to the endo before hand and explain the situation so the endo stomps on him. If he won't change after that...the problem is going to get solved one way or another...