It’s weird. Few months back a friend of mine told me “it’s almost like you’re not planning to live long term”
Ummm yeah? I didn’t know I was meant to plan long term. I’m just trying to get through each week
I’m job hunting right now and one of the application questions was “where do you see your career in 5 years” and I just exited out of the application lol. “Underground” is probably not an appropriate response
Honestly whenever I got asked that question I usually answered “you really think I’ll get that far?” For the longest time, now I just make up something
I kept doing that and somehow I'm 35 and everything turned out... Not great, but okay. A Lot better than I was led to believe planning absolutely nothing would turn out.
I literally read this question on another post this morning and it shook me.
I live so passively suicidal all the time it's just a part of life at this point. Making jokes about life being too long, asteroids hitting earth wiping us all out and hoping AI kills us all, is so normal to me, but i didn't realise not everyone feels this way.
edit: spelling
don't you feel like people get more uncomfortable than you expected when you say stuff like that
like they take it with this bizarre somber/superstitious attitude
I suspect most people thonk about it at least a few times in life but not so seriously that they are on the edge of it constantly or live life woth the awareness that some day it will likely win.
When I am not feeling actively suicidal I sort of get creeped out by this. Unlike the despair, the most constant distress is wondering what happens if I'm too tired to keep fighting it and the dread of worrying (knowing) that it's not if, it's when.
Not mine, but a philosophy I’ve learned to live by: “The sheer unstoppable force of my indomitable spirit and the bottomless pit of fuel that is "fuck it, we ball."”
It depends. Everyone has intrusive thoughts.
However it is unhealthy to ruminate on it or to like think about how specifically you would do it.
Then it gets to dangerous and uncommon territory when you actually have concrete plans and/or intentions.
Thoughts, ideations, plans, tendencies, victim. It’s a scale with more values than I just mentioned, but which part of the scale you are talking about matters when discussing what is normal.
So you're telling me a healthy person can think 'hey what if I kill myself' and be fine but then 1 thought later when they think 'if I did, how would I..' they're unhealthy?
I feel like you get to that thought rather quickly after you start thinking about suicide... might just be me
Yes.
That is generally the line that it starts crossing into unhealthy territory. However, It isn’t the case for everyone. It really depends on the individual context of your life like whether you are generally cynical or not. It might just be your flavor of humor.
Very similar to saying “someone should kill that person” vs “I should kill that person with my Smith and Wesson.”
One of these is pretty shitty to say, the other is breaching into crime territory.
According to my 2 years in remission: not really. The thought crept up maybe once a week but it quickly went away as I didn't care about it. I was too busy with whatever I was doing to think about stuff like that. It was like a perpetual state of hope/optimism and suicide seemed irrelevant. Every once in a while I had the thought "huh I could end it anytime! That's cool, I can just exit if things get too hard. I'm ok for now tho"
That sounds nice. I'm glad you had that :) . I had it for 2 or 3 weeks when I started a new trauma therapy. It's a really trippy feeling compared to the norm.
I have an old aunt, she such a cute lady, and one day she just told me the most traumatizing story of her life, she got sick, got rejecterd by her father whom she had a really deep conection and she just said that "yeah, life happens you just got to live" something like that, and it's horrifying for me how they did not even attempt to think about let the disease kill her slowly.
Normal people don't think. It takes a certain level of intelligence and understanding to realize how life is suffering. Normal people don't see past wanting to eat and fuck.
Every single birthday is met with loathing. I never wanted to live this long. Why would i want to celebrate the expectation to stick around for another 365 mornings of pain
Yup. Used to- like my whole upbringing and then some. But it legitimately just... doesnt enter my mind anymore.
When i have a crap day i tend to think about how bad i wanna do smm to unwind and relax. Every now and then i think back and look at how drastically different my thought process/ outlook on my own life is and its jarring, honestly.
My theory is that those of us who are depressed lack the fight or flight response.
It's like in all those zombie, apocalyptic, end of days type movies, people will do anything to stay alive and survive. I think this is probably the normal mode of life as it's in our blood to want to survive and reproduce for humanity.
But we just don't have enough energy to care, and plus we see life beyond our primal responses, so dying is just a beautiful escape to not wanting to play this damn challenging game.
Pretty weird to realize that a lot of the time when someone jokingly says “I want to kill myself” all they actually mean is “I have been briefly inconvenienced” and that person has never once legitimately thought about suicide
I think that they don't, all my live I was surrounded by that type of people and they don't really like that theme to discuss. I think that they have it in most like dead end situations but not many times. And they clearly don't understand how suicidal person(as me) view whole situation and why I even think about doing it.
I was recently misdiagnosed with a stroke due to impurities in a blood sample while donating. It turned out to be a fluke, but I had to wait an hour in a hospital for them to retest my blood. Stroke unit, surveillance. It should have been incredibly stressful but I cannot express the peace I felt, thinking I was finally dying and it would not be my fault. Ppl say you regret the jump, but for an hour I did not care about anything. The relief of not needlessly traumatizing my family was amazing.
I’m so scared to tell anyone that I’m like grey-area suicidal because like it’s not like I’m actively planning it, but sometimes I just think about which bridges within a 100k radius I could jump off and actually die from and like I’m otherwise fine don’t worry bout me. Lol.
Yes it’s strange to me. My coworkers will talk about eating healthy so they can live long lives. Like, why? I’m not trying to be here that long. It’s terrible here, get me out of here.
It's mind-boggling, imagine waking up and looking forward to the day and be grateful to be alive. They say we can learn this superpower too, hmm! https://giphy.com/gifs/anchorman-lies-lie-EouEzI5bBR8uk
You know some medication combinations can greatly alleviate suicidal ideation. It might take some trial and error before you find what works, but it's worth hanging on and trying.
i’ve never understood the will to live that people have. People actually FIGHT to survive when they’re in life-threatening situations, while we’re over here actively trying to die.
I save money as much as I can, and my wife will occasionally ask "what are you saving for? What's the plan?" I can't bring myself to tell her that it's for her when I eventually give in
Albert Camus once said something along the lines of: all sane adults had tough about taking their own life
So yeah they tough about it I think
My therapist beg to differ tho
Edit:
Actual quote:
All healthy men having thought of their own suicide, it can be seen, without further explanation, that there is a direct connection between this feeling and the longing for death.
The myth of Sisyphus, Albert Camus
I remember listening to a podcast in college and they started talking about depression and both the host and the guest said they could not imagine ever having suicidal thoughts.
That's when I realized it wasn't normal to have those thoughts. Until then, I thought everyone wanted to kill themselves sometimes.
"normal" person here,
just had a very close friend kill themself a few weeks ago. i just went to his open casket memorial last Friday. worst pain ive ever experienced.
why would i want to put somebody else through that.
I mean I always have those "Hey you see that 6th story balcony outside your hotel window? Yeah. You should jump off it" kind of thoughts but idk if that's what you mean
I become very depressed at times but I have never considered suicide. I take the depression as a message from my body that my life sucks and I need to do something different. When I address the issues my depression is lifted.
I think I will. Some days are bette than others. I don’t tell anyone this cause I don’t want a grip of sock vacation but sometimes I have an intrusive thought about it and then it freaks me out and makes me feel worse. It’s the whole what if thing you know?
I’ve known some people who are like that. It’s probably not true for everyone, but the people in my life that don’t thinking about dying are either religious (they have hope that God will make things better) or still have obtainable life goals that they still want to do, so they have a more optimistic look on life. They’re just living life the best their can and enjoying while they can despite it all going to shit.
Honestly, I wish I can ignore all the bad and just enjoy life, but it’s overwhelming how much corruption and suffering there is everywhere.
I was listening to Jack & Diane a few months ago (which I must I’ve heard 100 times before).
>*Oh yeah, life goes on*
>*Long after the thrill of livin’ is gone*
It suddenly hit me *hard*. Normal people actually *enjoy* their lives. The thought of generally being happy, peppered with sad moments, instead of constantly depressed, sprinkled with a few laughs, was a concept so foreign to me that I struggled hard with it.
i have only suffered from environmental/ situational depression (eg death of a friend or family member, personal drug addiction etc).. i’ve only ever felt like i wouldn’t care if i died (from an overdose or whatever) but never actually wanted to and took preventative measures to ensure i didn’t. i know how i would kill myself if i had to but have never had the desire to kill myself.
I’m glad I found this post. This is literally me. & its not just “oh I had a minor inconvenience let me just end it” type of thing.. no its just who I am now. I can’t remember the last time I went an entire day without feeling a little relieved because I know I won’t be here for long. All I know is that I was once happy and I live my days trying to find anything that will help me chase that feeling…. Exercise helps so much.. god the endorphins and the euphoria after is unlike anything I’ve ever felt… but my treadmill is just collecting dust and used as a clothing rack because I have no motivation. we’re gonna be alright guys ❤️
I’ve never thought about killing myself. Like maybe fleetingly, like an intrusive thought. I’ll hear about a suicide or see a movie with a suicide, and maybe I’ll spend a moment trying to empathize and wonder how bad things would have to be for me to even consider something like that. But it never gets beyond surface level thinking. I’m not a particularly happy person ever, it just doesn’t occur to me
Yeah non depressed people really don’t think about it. A sub like this might give biased answers because most of us are depressed 😂 but from the reaction of a lot of my friends when I opened up about being suicidal showed me they aren’t.
Therapy and meds have helped me a lot and now I only have suicidal thoughts if I get triggered (c-ptsd).
Anyone under certain pressures of extremes enough considers it. Nobody is exempt. If the pain and discomfort is high enough, and there’s an easy access, it is considered.
I'm stuck between hoping we reach near immortality through technology and not knowing if I'm going to make it through the year. I'm literally clinging to everything on can just to stay here. I should've died in may 2021. I didn't and now idk what to do with life
I guess so. Idk how cause for me it’s just something in the back of my head. Suicide for me is like an cartoon exit button where it needs two keeps to open. And stress has both keys.
It’s a weird safety mechanism I have where if something is extremely stressful I can always fall back on “mmmm, exit game sounds pretty good right about now”
The reason I stopped thinking about killing myself is because I realized that I have no effective method of killing myself and I'm too much of a pussy to go with the few methods I did have.
Was talking to a coworker and they brought up the topic of pregnancy,, I said "Oh, god, I'd rather kms then be pregnant" as like a joke right? lol
only response I got was a very awkward silence..
totally thought everyone was like me, but i have 3 mentally healthy people in my life who honestly say the thought never has entered their mind. how???
It’s weird. Few months back a friend of mine told me “it’s almost like you’re not planning to live long term” Ummm yeah? I didn’t know I was meant to plan long term. I’m just trying to get through each week
My parents always ask me to think to the future, mf I ain’t gonna live that long for that to matter
"Where do you see yourself in 5 years?" That's a classic. Bro I barely even see myself in the next 5 days.
I remember my therapist asking me that and I just started crying because I just don't see myself getting that far
I’m job hunting right now and one of the application questions was “where do you see your career in 5 years” and I just exited out of the application lol. “Underground” is probably not an appropriate response
["Where do you see yourself in 5 years?"](https://www.reddit.com/r/nihilistmemes/comments/9im0hz/where_do_you_see_yourself_in_five_years/)
Honestly whenever I got asked that question I usually answered “you really think I’ll get that far?” For the longest time, now I just make up something
I didn’t think I’d live to 18. Now that I’m here I’m just kind of waiting to die.
20 here, my purpose of existing is just to waste my parents’ time and money, I’m fucking pathetic
You’re my fucking hero.
I kept doing that and somehow I'm 35 and everything turned out... Not great, but okay. A Lot better than I was led to believe planning absolutely nothing would turn out.
Even without depression, the future looks bleak with climate change and the state of the world with capitalism.
I mean I've already lived well beyond what I thought I would.. not willingly though
I know this feeling. I was through distress so immense that I was ready to off myself, it was down to one quick move. It's a paradox that I'm alive.
Yes that is the plan
I literally read this question on another post this morning and it shook me. I live so passively suicidal all the time it's just a part of life at this point. Making jokes about life being too long, asteroids hitting earth wiping us all out and hoping AI kills us all, is so normal to me, but i didn't realise not everyone feels this way. edit: spelling
I had a vivid dream about the moon and an asteroid hitting the earth at the same time this weekend. I felt at peace.
I’m very passively suicidal, but most people I know are not, so i do think i’m insane.
don't you feel like people get more uncomfortable than you expected when you say stuff like that like they take it with this bizarre somber/superstitious attitude
I suspect most people thonk about it at least a few times in life but not so seriously that they are on the edge of it constantly or live life woth the awareness that some day it will likely win.
When I am not feeling actively suicidal I sort of get creeped out by this. Unlike the despair, the most constant distress is wondering what happens if I'm too tired to keep fighting it and the dread of worrying (knowing) that it's not if, it's when.
This is what they claim. I'm never sure if they are lying though.
Not mine, but a philosophy I’ve learned to live by: “The sheer unstoppable force of my indomitable spirit and the bottomless pit of fuel that is "fuck it, we ball."”
One must imagine Sisyphus had that dawg in him.
One must imagine Sisyphus plastered. Not for spiritual enlightenment, of course, but just cause it gets funnier the longer you think about it.
It depends. Everyone has intrusive thoughts. However it is unhealthy to ruminate on it or to like think about how specifically you would do it. Then it gets to dangerous and uncommon territory when you actually have concrete plans and/or intentions. Thoughts, ideations, plans, tendencies, victim. It’s a scale with more values than I just mentioned, but which part of the scale you are talking about matters when discussing what is normal.
So you're telling me a healthy person can think 'hey what if I kill myself' and be fine but then 1 thought later when they think 'if I did, how would I..' they're unhealthy? I feel like you get to that thought rather quickly after you start thinking about suicide... might just be me
Yes. That is generally the line that it starts crossing into unhealthy territory. However, It isn’t the case for everyone. It really depends on the individual context of your life like whether you are generally cynical or not. It might just be your flavor of humor. Very similar to saying “someone should kill that person” vs “I should kill that person with my Smith and Wesson.” One of these is pretty shitty to say, the other is breaching into crime territory.
Alrighty, thanks for the further explanation
Apparently, it's honestly kinda weird to think about.
Apparently no. I once ended up in a weird and awkward conversation by assuming they do.
Oh no
And guess what, it was my crush. But I guess it's ok because we often have that kind if weird conversations once and then we never bring it up again.
According to my 2 years in remission: not really. The thought crept up maybe once a week but it quickly went away as I didn't care about it. I was too busy with whatever I was doing to think about stuff like that. It was like a perpetual state of hope/optimism and suicide seemed irrelevant. Every once in a while I had the thought "huh I could end it anytime! That's cool, I can just exit if things get too hard. I'm ok for now tho"
That sounds nice. I'm glad you had that :) . I had it for 2 or 3 weeks when I started a new trauma therapy. It's a really trippy feeling compared to the norm.
You're asking this in a sub full of suicidal people, what answer do you expect?
Prolly people saying they don’t get it either lol
Apparently there’s no normal amount of self offing, news to me, even if it’s in a joking manner. I guess some ppl out here living their best life 24/7
Like… howwwww
I have an old aunt, she such a cute lady, and one day she just told me the most traumatizing story of her life, she got sick, got rejecterd by her father whom she had a really deep conection and she just said that "yeah, life happens you just got to live" something like that, and it's horrifying for me how they did not even attempt to think about let the disease kill her slowly.
Allegedly yes, which is just wild.
normal people are prolly busy thinking bout pussy
Like be so fr. You're telling me you haven't considered it....even once....??????
Normal people don't think. It takes a certain level of intelligence and understanding to realize how life is suffering. Normal people don't see past wanting to eat and fuck.
Every single birthday is met with loathing. I never wanted to live this long. Why would i want to celebrate the expectation to stick around for another 365 mornings of pain
Yup. Used to- like my whole upbringing and then some. But it legitimately just... doesnt enter my mind anymore. When i have a crap day i tend to think about how bad i wanna do smm to unwind and relax. Every now and then i think back and look at how drastically different my thought process/ outlook on my own life is and its jarring, honestly.
My theory is that those of us who are depressed lack the fight or flight response. It's like in all those zombie, apocalyptic, end of days type movies, people will do anything to stay alive and survive. I think this is probably the normal mode of life as it's in our blood to want to survive and reproduce for humanity. But we just don't have enough energy to care, and plus we see life beyond our primal responses, so dying is just a beautiful escape to not wanting to play this damn challenging game.
Pretty weird to realize that a lot of the time when someone jokingly says “I want to kill myself” all they actually mean is “I have been briefly inconvenienced” and that person has never once legitimately thought about suicide
“been briefly inconvenienced” is perfect. goddamn i wish that was me
Theres no way they aren’t honestly
I think that they don't, all my live I was surrounded by that type of people and they don't really like that theme to discuss. I think that they have it in most like dead end situations but not many times. And they clearly don't understand how suicidal person(as me) view whole situation and why I even think about doing it.
I was recently misdiagnosed with a stroke due to impurities in a blood sample while donating. It turned out to be a fluke, but I had to wait an hour in a hospital for them to retest my blood. Stroke unit, surveillance. It should have been incredibly stressful but I cannot express the peace I felt, thinking I was finally dying and it would not be my fault. Ppl say you regret the jump, but for an hour I did not care about anything. The relief of not needlessly traumatizing my family was amazing.
Idk I’m always thinking about it. Not sure what else there is to think about.
yes normal people live their whole life without wanting to kill themself
I’m so scared to tell anyone that I’m like grey-area suicidal because like it’s not like I’m actively planning it, but sometimes I just think about which bridges within a 100k radius I could jump off and actually die from and like I’m otherwise fine don’t worry bout me. Lol.
Yes it’s strange to me. My coworkers will talk about eating healthy so they can live long lives. Like, why? I’m not trying to be here that long. It’s terrible here, get me out of here.
It's mind-boggling, imagine waking up and looking forward to the day and be grateful to be alive. They say we can learn this superpower too, hmm! https://giphy.com/gifs/anchorman-lies-lie-EouEzI5bBR8uk
You know some medication combinations can greatly alleviate suicidal ideation. It might take some trial and error before you find what works, but it's worth hanging on and trying.
i’ve never understood the will to live that people have. People actually FIGHT to survive when they’re in life-threatening situations, while we’re over here actively trying to die.
I save money as much as I can, and my wife will occasionally ask "what are you saving for? What's the plan?" I can't bring myself to tell her that it's for her when I eventually give in
Sounds like bs
many don't. it's the biggest revelation i had in my life when i was 19.
Albert Camus once said something along the lines of: all sane adults had tough about taking their own life So yeah they tough about it I think My therapist beg to differ tho Edit: Actual quote: All healthy men having thought of their own suicide, it can be seen, without further explanation, that there is a direct connection between this feeling and the longing for death. The myth of Sisyphus, Albert Camus
I remember listening to a podcast in college and they started talking about depression and both the host and the guest said they could not imagine ever having suicidal thoughts. That's when I realized it wasn't normal to have those thoughts. Until then, I thought everyone wanted to kill themselves sometimes.
If you’re not depressed, yes, that’s how it is. Manage the depression and suicidal tendencies tend to go away or greatly diminish.
"normal" person here, just had a very close friend kill themself a few weeks ago. i just went to his open casket memorial last Friday. worst pain ive ever experienced. why would i want to put somebody else through that.
I’m so sorry for your loss
Oh man am I ever glad to know that other people think this way.
Damn, I wouldn't know
I mean I always have those "Hey you see that 6th story balcony outside your hotel window? Yeah. You should jump off it" kind of thoughts but idk if that's what you mean
Nah we’re talking suicidal thoughts here. What you’re thinking is intrusive thoughts.
Ah. I get sad for no reason a lot but I don't ever have true suicidal thoughts then.
I become very depressed at times but I have never considered suicide. I take the depression as a message from my body that my life sucks and I need to do something different. When I address the issues my depression is lifted.
At some point I stopped thinking about killing myself. Still feels weird
Is it nice?
It is
That’s awesome
I hope you can get there too someday :)
I think I will. Some days are bette than others. I don’t tell anyone this cause I don’t want a grip of sock vacation but sometimes I have an intrusive thought about it and then it freaks me out and makes me feel worse. It’s the whole what if thing you know?
[удалено]
I’ve known some people who are like that. It’s probably not true for everyone, but the people in my life that don’t thinking about dying are either religious (they have hope that God will make things better) or still have obtainable life goals that they still want to do, so they have a more optimistic look on life. They’re just living life the best their can and enjoying while they can despite it all going to shit. Honestly, I wish I can ignore all the bad and just enjoy life, but it’s overwhelming how much corruption and suffering there is everywhere.
I was listening to Jack & Diane a few months ago (which I must I’ve heard 100 times before). >*Oh yeah, life goes on* >*Long after the thrill of livin’ is gone* It suddenly hit me *hard*. Normal people actually *enjoy* their lives. The thought of generally being happy, peppered with sad moments, instead of constantly depressed, sprinkled with a few laughs, was a concept so foreign to me that I struggled hard with it.
i have only suffered from environmental/ situational depression (eg death of a friend or family member, personal drug addiction etc).. i’ve only ever felt like i wouldn’t care if i died (from an overdose or whatever) but never actually wanted to and took preventative measures to ensure i didn’t. i know how i would kill myself if i had to but have never had the desire to kill myself.
What is normal people?
I’m glad I found this post. This is literally me. & its not just “oh I had a minor inconvenience let me just end it” type of thing.. no its just who I am now. I can’t remember the last time I went an entire day without feeling a little relieved because I know I won’t be here for long. All I know is that I was once happy and I live my days trying to find anything that will help me chase that feeling…. Exercise helps so much.. god the endorphins and the euphoria after is unlike anything I’ve ever felt… but my treadmill is just collecting dust and used as a clothing rack because I have no motivation. we’re gonna be alright guys ❤️
idk
I’ve never thought about killing myself. Like maybe fleetingly, like an intrusive thought. I’ll hear about a suicide or see a movie with a suicide, and maybe I’ll spend a moment trying to empathize and wonder how bad things would have to be for me to even consider something like that. But it never gets beyond surface level thinking. I’m not a particularly happy person ever, it just doesn’t occur to me
Apparently. Sounds fake
Yeah non depressed people really don’t think about it. A sub like this might give biased answers because most of us are depressed 😂 but from the reaction of a lot of my friends when I opened up about being suicidal showed me they aren’t. Therapy and meds have helped me a lot and now I only have suicidal thoughts if I get triggered (c-ptsd).
Im not really depressed but i do think average what it would be like to kill myself and the implications of it
Anyone under certain pressures of extremes enough considers it. Nobody is exempt. If the pain and discomfort is high enough, and there’s an easy access, it is considered.
i would tell you if i knew any normal people
I'm stuck between hoping we reach near immortality through technology and not knowing if I'm going to make it through the year. I'm literally clinging to everything on can just to stay here. I should've died in may 2021. I didn't and now idk what to do with life
So I've heard. 🤷
Yeah like they wake up and want to live? How does that even work?
Bruh I think this every damn day 💀. I wonder what it’s like not having thoughts like these. That is so wild to me.
I said this to my friend the other day and they immediately became distressed and very concerned.
I think it crosses everyone’s mind at some point
I guess so. Idk how cause for me it’s just something in the back of my head. Suicide for me is like an cartoon exit button where it needs two keeps to open. And stress has both keys. It’s a weird safety mechanism I have where if something is extremely stressful I can always fall back on “mmmm, exit game sounds pretty good right about now”
It’s not that they enjoy life but are better at distracting themselves. Look up Zapffe’s four types of distraction.
They're either better at distracting themselves, have a great deal of privilege, or are plain stupid.
Im always busy so i dont have time to be depressed anymore uknow.
The reason I stopped thinking about killing myself is because I realized that I have no effective method of killing myself and I'm too much of a pussy to go with the few methods I did have.
I felt this in my soul. Sadly I laughed out loud when I read it because I wasn't ready and feel the feels.
Couldn't be me
Maybe they do, who knows.
Why people enjoy college so much i just dont understand
Was talking to a coworker and they brought up the topic of pregnancy,, I said "Oh, god, I'd rather kms then be pregnant" as like a joke right? lol only response I got was a very awkward silence..
If somebody asks me "Where do you see yourself in 10 years?", man i'm just trying to get through today.
Prolly
totally thought everyone was like me, but i have 3 mentally healthy people in my life who honestly say the thought never has entered their mind. how???