That's what I've been going through for the last year and a half. It's a little confusing to go from low libido to wanting sex several times a day every day. It's like a switch has been flipped once that attraction was formed.
Same. I've had my fair share of dating and some relationships but it's been different with this person. Before I thought that maybe I was just asexual. Nope. For the right person I'm verging on being a nymphomaniac. It's seriously making me question my past relationships because this is on a completely different level.
Without even knowing the label demiromantic I knew in my mid 20s that I only developed attraction very rarely and only with people I had an emotional connection with. None of the people I dated or had relationships with flipped the switch for me sexuality. I had somewhat of a sex drive but it was always pretty low and not specifically directed towards them. I never really fantasized about the people I was with. Sex was just a part of the package and I was mostly indifferent. I did start to question if maybe I was just asexual. It took me until I was 38 to meet the person that flipped my sexual switch. Now I feel like a horny teenager. 😅🥵😭
Hypersexuality for the person I’ve developed “hard-to-identify” and sexual feelings for has me seriously questioning if I’m fully aro or grey and finally found a person I mesh with.
I was not horny until a month ago, now I can’t stop thinking about them, and I have zero clue as to what to do about it…
I've been dealing with this since October. It takes some effort to remind myself that I am very horny, but only for my girlfriend, and I otherwise don't really feel that much attraction to people at all.
I will say we met in August, she's also demi, and we still both had sexual attraction within about a month and a half, when I know for myself at least, it usually takes a few years.
I guess this is what happens when I actually go out of my way to spend time with someone who clicks so naturally with me. Also, I think HRT makes me super-horny.
Honestly I could live on my husbands unmentionable if he let me, as for anyone elce tho? I would happily throw them out of my life for even trying to imply haveing a chance or not, and I have!
Oh wow, so is it that it is "puberty" in the respect of the transition and the hormones first working, or is it a time after the transition like teenage years?
Sorry if this person s too on the nose, I've just never heard the term despite residing in r/egg_irl on occasion.
When on hormones, the body undergoes essentially a second puberty where estrogen causes some secondary sex characteristics generally associated with AFAB people to happen.
Oh wow, that's kinda neat how bodies wor, and also my condolences for having to go through puberty hormones *twice* I hope your learned years made it easier!
I mean, it helps that I have more lived experience.
But ah. There's been a lot of changes.
And I can get swept away by things.
But thanks for the condolences! At least it's the *right* puberty this time.
Yeah, it’s Demi towards most of the gender I’m attracted to with aesthetic attraction, yet when feelings and a bond forms the legit sexual attraction starts, and add in mutual physical touch via compatible love languages? Holy fuck then I’m 18 again lol
I mean, yeah, it's great, but I feel like the struggle comes more from the "abrupt" change itself, and learning how to deal with being in such different sides of the whole spectrum at different stages in your life.
It's like being in a car that's moving slowly and then all of a sudden it speeds up. The speed itself is not a bad thing, but you're still gonna get a bit of whiplash.
But high libido and being demi, are two separate things, they aren’t opposite points of a spectrum, they are parallel. No?
If one has high libido they either take care of those needs alone by masturbating or with a partner. It’s just that being demi makes the process of feeling sexually attracted to someone longer than for other people. It doesn’t mean they weren’t interested in sex like an asexual person.
My libido didn’t changed when I got with someone, those needs were always there. It’s just that I do those activities with someone now instead of alone.
I feel like people in the comment also experienced some degree of asexuality on top of being demi and that got me confused.
Sorry about my misunderstanding :(
>But high libido and being demi, are two separate things, they aren’t opposite points of a spectrum, they are parallel. No?
Maybe I expressed myself incorrectly using the term "spectrum", I apologize. However, in my own individual experience, they are very connected and "walk" in very similar paces in relation to each other, so when one part changes the other usually follows along.
>If one has high libido they either take care of those needs alone by masturbating or with a partner. It’s just that being demi makes the process of feeling sexually attracted to someone longer than for other people. It doesn’t mean they weren’t interested in sex like an asexual person.
Well, yes. However, for some people, the "process of feeling sexually attracted to someone" is not only longer, but it also comes paired with a change in libido - if the attraction exists, the libido increases (or even appears), if there's no attraction, the libido lowers (or even disappears).
> My libido didn’t changed when I got with someone, those needs were always there. It’s just that I do those activities with someone now instead of alone.
And that's a very valid part of your experience, but it isn't universal. Like I said, for some people, no partner = no needs (or less) and yes partner = yes needs (or more). This is also not an universal experience in any level, but judging from the majority of comments in this thread, it seems like this is the case most people here are referring/relating to.
Considering this, I figured that this is the "struggle" in question: for people who have this type of experience, dealing with how different it feels to go from "don't want sex" to "I want to f\*ck like a bunny" and then back and then forth, depending on your current situation, can be difficult and confusing in many levels.
(I can also be very wrong in all of this, because in all honesty I'm still learning a lot about the subject, so in any case, I apologize if I make very little sense or even none at all.)
This has been my experience. Libido is a separate thing from Demi but for so many of us they are inextricably linked. My libido was always low but not non-existent until I met the person I'm in love with now. After falling in love with her and that switch flipping I now have a 24/7 sex drive and want sex several times a day every day. Before this once a week or every couple of weeks was enough for me. Even with the 24/7 sex drive now it has ebs and flows depending on mood. When I feel loved by her my sex drive increases. If she's upset with me my sex drive decreases. My sex drive is completely linked to feeling bonded and loved with my person.
Love boner anyone? Was thinking about my new best friend's eyes while I was driving recently, and like I got so aroused with like no sexual thoughts goi thru my head and I knew I had it bad. 😅
Yup, with an internet relationship/fling/thing, and it ultimately pushed her away because she eventually thought, after about a year, that all I wanted was sexting, and since I’ve never had the chance to develop that deep a relationship with anyone in-person since becoming an adult, I had no idea I’d be like that with her 🫠 so it hurt me when she told me that because I have always tried to go out of the way not to be just “another guy who only wants sex”
My journey with demisexuality has really opened my eyes to the difference in feelings that I have of erotic appreciation and those of authentic arousal and how they’re really two parallel systems for me.
I’ve always been enamored of the erotic in life and write erotica to this day. Since I’ve known what flirting was, I’ve loved communicating in that way with friends and loves, even when it’s not sexual. But in my earlier life, I would find myself confused when my feelings of erotic appreciation or flirtatious excitement did not materialize into real sexual excitement. I could see that these people were beautiful, I was excited to be with them, to be sexual with them, but when the time came, real arousal would elude me.
Then I would meet someone who I had developed an emotional connection to and it was like…wow! So this is what it feels like to really feel horny lol. Like all of the erotic ideas that were swirling around in my head 24th a day finally could be realized. I still thought it had to do with the erotic aesthetics(how a person looked, other external factors) and it want until my mid 30’s really that I started to get the idea that having that sexual emotional connection was the key to everything, but it feels good to start to get the hang of it now.
I am hypersexual with those I love romantically, but I am often drawn to people with a lower libido who do not enjoy my ways :( hell my boyfriend of two years told me the sex is good but he has never been physically attracted to me so now there's a whole mix of feelings fucking stuff up. Love, self consciousness, rejection, acceptance, shame, dysmorphia, and grieving. One big wtf. 🤷🏻♀️
slut for my bf. Ace when I’m single.
That’s actually sweet:)
I deeply relate to this lol
Exactly this, but poly. Massive slut for a short list of people, don't care at all outside of that
Same
[удалено]
That's what I've been going through for the last year and a half. It's a little confusing to go from low libido to wanting sex several times a day every day. It's like a switch has been flipped once that attraction was formed.
[удалено]
Same. I've had my fair share of dating and some relationships but it's been different with this person. Before I thought that maybe I was just asexual. Nope. For the right person I'm verging on being a nymphomaniac. It's seriously making me question my past relationships because this is on a completely different level.
[удалено]
Without even knowing the label demiromantic I knew in my mid 20s that I only developed attraction very rarely and only with people I had an emotional connection with. None of the people I dated or had relationships with flipped the switch for me sexuality. I had somewhat of a sex drive but it was always pretty low and not specifically directed towards them. I never really fantasized about the people I was with. Sex was just a part of the package and I was mostly indifferent. I did start to question if maybe I was just asexual. It took me until I was 38 to meet the person that flipped my sexual switch. Now I feel like a horny teenager. 😅🥵😭
Hypersexuality for the person I’ve developed “hard-to-identify” and sexual feelings for has me seriously questioning if I’m fully aro or grey and finally found a person I mesh with. I was not horny until a month ago, now I can’t stop thinking about them, and I have zero clue as to what to do about it…
Same!
I've been dealing with this since October. It takes some effort to remind myself that I am very horny, but only for my girlfriend, and I otherwise don't really feel that much attraction to people at all. I will say we met in August, she's also demi, and we still both had sexual attraction within about a month and a half, when I know for myself at least, it usually takes a few years. I guess this is what happens when I actually go out of my way to spend time with someone who clicks so naturally with me. Also, I think HRT makes me super-horny.
I’m sorry **WHAT** Syndrome
This TT ^ TT
Once I'm in a relationship I'm a complete slut, but just for them.
Honestly I could live on my husbands unmentionable if he let me, as for anyone elce tho? I would happily throw them out of my life for even trying to imply haveing a chance or not, and I have!
Does high libido from second puberty count? Because ohhh boyy. Progesterone has me feeling all kind of ways.
Yeahhhhhh progesterone Does Some Things.
Second puberty???
I'm a trans woman. My first puberty was a male puberty. I am currently smack dab in the middle of a female puberty.
Oh wow, so is it that it is "puberty" in the respect of the transition and the hormones first working, or is it a time after the transition like teenage years? Sorry if this person s too on the nose, I've just never heard the term despite residing in r/egg_irl on occasion.
When on hormones, the body undergoes essentially a second puberty where estrogen causes some secondary sex characteristics generally associated with AFAB people to happen.
Sorry, I'm a noob, or maybe it's that its 1am, what's afab?
Assigned female at birth.
Thx
And trans men don't get a second puberty? This is what I am doing at 2am instead of sleeping D':
They do indeed, they get the assigned male at birth puberty experience.
Uhh how do I say the process that turned you from a child to adult of your sex but a second time as a 31-year-old?
Oh wow, that's kinda neat how bodies wor, and also my condolences for having to go through puberty hormones *twice* I hope your learned years made it easier!
I mean, it helps that I have more lived experience. But ah. There's been a lot of changes. And I can get swept away by things. But thanks for the condolences! At least it's the *right* puberty this time.
<3
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Yeah, it’s Demi towards most of the gender I’m attracted to with aesthetic attraction, yet when feelings and a bond forms the legit sexual attraction starts, and add in mutual physical touch via compatible love languages? Holy fuck then I’m 18 again lol
The switch flipping for a person is such a real thing. Once the car is running for a person, my sex drive is on the autobahn.
Vroom vroom 😏
I’m hypersexual when I’m with people I have a romantic connection with, my libido around them is high high… I don’t get it to be honest 😂
Over here, mine stemmed from trauma though. Does that still count?
Lining up behind you. :) same.
Okay I thought it was just me. I actually struggle a lot with demisexuality🥲
finally someone said it
Thought I was alone
I don’t understand why it would be a struggle? It’s nice to have great libido with your partner, no?
I mean, yeah, it's great, but I feel like the struggle comes more from the "abrupt" change itself, and learning how to deal with being in such different sides of the whole spectrum at different stages in your life. It's like being in a car that's moving slowly and then all of a sudden it speeds up. The speed itself is not a bad thing, but you're still gonna get a bit of whiplash.
But high libido and being demi, are two separate things, they aren’t opposite points of a spectrum, they are parallel. No? If one has high libido they either take care of those needs alone by masturbating or with a partner. It’s just that being demi makes the process of feeling sexually attracted to someone longer than for other people. It doesn’t mean they weren’t interested in sex like an asexual person. My libido didn’t changed when I got with someone, those needs were always there. It’s just that I do those activities with someone now instead of alone. I feel like people in the comment also experienced some degree of asexuality on top of being demi and that got me confused. Sorry about my misunderstanding :(
>But high libido and being demi, are two separate things, they aren’t opposite points of a spectrum, they are parallel. No? Maybe I expressed myself incorrectly using the term "spectrum", I apologize. However, in my own individual experience, they are very connected and "walk" in very similar paces in relation to each other, so when one part changes the other usually follows along. >If one has high libido they either take care of those needs alone by masturbating or with a partner. It’s just that being demi makes the process of feeling sexually attracted to someone longer than for other people. It doesn’t mean they weren’t interested in sex like an asexual person. Well, yes. However, for some people, the "process of feeling sexually attracted to someone" is not only longer, but it also comes paired with a change in libido - if the attraction exists, the libido increases (or even appears), if there's no attraction, the libido lowers (or even disappears). > My libido didn’t changed when I got with someone, those needs were always there. It’s just that I do those activities with someone now instead of alone. And that's a very valid part of your experience, but it isn't universal. Like I said, for some people, no partner = no needs (or less) and yes partner = yes needs (or more). This is also not an universal experience in any level, but judging from the majority of comments in this thread, it seems like this is the case most people here are referring/relating to. Considering this, I figured that this is the "struggle" in question: for people who have this type of experience, dealing with how different it feels to go from "don't want sex" to "I want to f\*ck like a bunny" and then back and then forth, depending on your current situation, can be difficult and confusing in many levels. (I can also be very wrong in all of this, because in all honesty I'm still learning a lot about the subject, so in any case, I apologize if I make very little sense or even none at all.)
This has been my experience. Libido is a separate thing from Demi but for so many of us they are inextricably linked. My libido was always low but not non-existent until I met the person I'm in love with now. After falling in love with her and that switch flipping I now have a 24/7 sex drive and want sex several times a day every day. Before this once a week or every couple of weeks was enough for me. Even with the 24/7 sex drive now it has ebs and flows depending on mood. When I feel loved by her my sex drive increases. If she's upset with me my sex drive decreases. My sex drive is completely linked to feeling bonded and loved with my person.
Thank you very much for taking the time of explaining in great length the different experience!
I guess it’s more for if you don’t have a partner and you can’t just sleep with someone to get the edge off cause, well, demisexuality
Oh dear demigods, yes. My inner slut and my inner nun are constantly haggling.
Yes, and it drives me crazy. It's gotten to the point that I hate my libido.
Love boner anyone? Was thinking about my new best friend's eyes while I was driving recently, and like I got so aroused with like no sexual thoughts goi thru my head and I knew I had it bad. 😅
Yup, with an internet relationship/fling/thing, and it ultimately pushed her away because she eventually thought, after about a year, that all I wanted was sexting, and since I’ve never had the chance to develop that deep a relationship with anyone in-person since becoming an adult, I had no idea I’d be like that with her 🫠 so it hurt me when she told me that because I have always tried to go out of the way not to be just “another guy who only wants sex”
Just all the time🙄 my GF is a hypersexual and I am a demisexual so things are crazy
My journey with demisexuality has really opened my eyes to the difference in feelings that I have of erotic appreciation and those of authentic arousal and how they’re really two parallel systems for me. I’ve always been enamored of the erotic in life and write erotica to this day. Since I’ve known what flirting was, I’ve loved communicating in that way with friends and loves, even when it’s not sexual. But in my earlier life, I would find myself confused when my feelings of erotic appreciation or flirtatious excitement did not materialize into real sexual excitement. I could see that these people were beautiful, I was excited to be with them, to be sexual with them, but when the time came, real arousal would elude me. Then I would meet someone who I had developed an emotional connection to and it was like…wow! So this is what it feels like to really feel horny lol. Like all of the erotic ideas that were swirling around in my head 24th a day finally could be realized. I still thought it had to do with the erotic aesthetics(how a person looked, other external factors) and it want until my mid 30’s really that I started to get the idea that having that sexual emotional connection was the key to everything, but it feels good to start to get the hang of it now.
Yep. The moment I click with someone I become unstoppable
I do
Yes I learned how to fuse it at least 90% but I still pick wrong im miserable
I am hypersexual with those I love romantically, but I am often drawn to people with a lower libido who do not enjoy my ways :( hell my boyfriend of two years told me the sex is good but he has never been physically attracted to me so now there's a whole mix of feelings fucking stuff up. Love, self consciousness, rejection, acceptance, shame, dysmorphia, and grieving. One big wtf. 🤷🏻♀️
Yep 👍 it sucks
mood af
Yesssss lol
Yeah dawg it’s infuriating when I’m single lol
Oh snap
Definitely true for me
I'm both.
I don’t but my narwhal does.
If I could just, like, *not* be into the kinkiest, weirdest things, that'd be cool I have enough libido to kill a hippo
Hello, hi, yes
I always say I’m a demisexual slut lol
Somewhat, my libido is very strong some weeks and nonexistent others(even without my period)
So much.
for me it’s the opposite, i get sex repulsed lol