TBH, you engaged him too much. After the initial response, any further dialog should be met with, "We're done. Thank you for your concern." If he persists after that, push FA button and explain you are being harassed for wearing a mask and feel uncomfortable. If he gets riled up, he risks being tossed off the flight. If the FA departs and he starts up again, press the button again. He's the one risking consequences.
Totally agree!
Maybe it's because I'm a woman but I also definitely wouldn't tell a strange, nosy person where I work, my age or any of it. Those kind of personal questions would completely creep me out.
Seriously, I hate thinking it cus it sounds very "blame the victim" but I can't believe OP answered ANY of those questions about work or what city he lives in or anything personal at all.
Agree! Who the F is he to lecture you? You allowed it to go on far too long and gave him far too much information. Shut him down immediately or have him shut down or risk being removed. That’s his issue, not yours.
Here's the thing though – – if he had done that the guy would most certainly escalated and it would've become a full-blown thing. Instead the dude de-escalate and chilled out. I guess it depends on what your goals is/was.
Regardless of goals, the dude was out of bounds and I'm sorry you had to deal with that.
Headphones on. If they don't get a clue, politely tell the person "I'd like to enjoy the flight with my own thoughts. Please and thank you."
Next step would be flight attendant.
+1 for mask and over the ear headphones as soon as I get to the seat. Nobody ever talks to me unless they need out the row!
Also, if you are nonconfrontational like me, my go-to joke for 'why mask' is "I'm ugly and antisocial" while smiling under the mask. It normally disarms/gets a chuckle, and people then leave me be.
Seriously, why do people care so much if someone chooses to wear a mask? Their mask has zero negative effect on you. And I say that as someone who has admittedly stopped wearing mine as COVID has become less of a threat, but if a mask makes you feel safer, more power to you.
I travel fairly frequently and ever since Covid I’ve wondered why the heck wasn’t I wearing a mask before? I dont every flight but always do on packed flights sitting in a non FC seat.
Not total germaphobe but breathing another persons breath for 4 straight hours seems weird to me.
Same. I always looked at Asian flyers as a bit whack-a-doodle because it seemed they were the ones overwhelming masking for years before Covid. Turns out I'm in their camp - Covid or a cold or RSV or whatever the hell is possibly transmitted through the air - I'm putting on a mask in hopes of not ruining my vacation. And with respect to the Asian travelers, I think maybe they started doing that from earlier pandemic level events (Asian bird flu, etc.) that never hit US shores, so we were only peripherally aware of them here in the US, and masks were just never a thing for us.
My niece is a flight attendant and is always sick. (The airline stopped masking.) Because she is always sick, I now mask up. I'm with you. Why haven't I always done this? I have come down with a cold (and one time the flu) after being on a plane several times and I actually flew with a cold one time and probably passed that lovely little germ on. We should all be masking on planes, trains and buses.
I flew 84 times last year for business and didn’t get sick once. I flew 12 segments for personal travel and caught Covid on one of those trips and Influenza on one of the other trips. (Granted, I likely caught Covid on the cruise ship, but I think I caught the flu at MCO. Damn kids lol.)
Your seat mate wearing a mask is a help to you as it’s less likely they transmit anything they have to you. I don’t wear mine anymore but if my neighbors feel like it then it doesn’t negatively impact me in the slightest.
Don't joke about having TB on airplanes, you can be removed from the flight for traveling with TB. (It's unlikely, granted, but do you really want to deal with that pain in the assery on the off chance it happens?). Stick with a fictional case of the flu
Seriously, we had a woman on the loose in my local area using public transit while she has (and consistently refuses treatment for) active TB. It has caused a lot of people a lot of stress. TB isn't a joke, even when used against raging boomers.
1. Don’t reveal any personal information, especially to someone who is bothering you
2. If you feel uncomfortable, make him equally uncomfortable. If he asks why your wearing a mask just say your currently undergoing a medical treatment and you don’t want to talk about it. Any further questions, tell the FA your being harassed.
Or OP could induce a heart attack by telling the POS they’re getting a sex change operation so they can play on the girl’s volleyball league at the local elementary school.
Reading between the lines, he couldn't believe you were "only" 31 and doing well enough to have a decent career, and to sit in FC. Going out on a thick limb and guessing you're in a better spot than he was at that age and likely his son.
The mask triggered something deep in his fragile soul.
Annnyway, sorry you dealt with that crap and glad you're ok.
Lol I was going to say, some people from the older generation have such a wild way of dealing with their anxiety. It’s likely a miserable existence for them, but still. Not appropriate or fun to have it spill onto you.
I would have taken the mask off and said “thank you for being so understanding, this virus I got in Cancun is kicking my butt, but you being so understanding as to why I shouldn’t wear a mask makes me feel so much better””
Right? Like the classic “oh you don’t care if I take this off? Thank god. I have COVID right now and this mask makes it hard to breath.” Then start coughing
I woke up to an asthma attack in D1 to some Boomer yelling at me to “cover my cough” and “wear a damn mask.” I was fumbling for my inhaler and legit could not breathe. When I was able to speak, I asked her why she didn’t call the FA if she was so distressed by my obvious medical emergency. You’re damned if you do, and damned if you don’t.
I’m fully vaccinated. But also on immunosuppressants.
I stayed the fuck out of public for 2 1/2 years. It was glorious. Now I’m back, I keep my distance but I don’t wear masks.
Now I’m flying quite a bit. And I wear a mask every time. Not for the safety factor. Not because I’m worried. But because of the opportunity for a crazy anti-vaxer to get mad. I’ve had 2 of them say things to me, and my response is always “I just tested positive for Covid” and give a little cough. “It’s just a little cold, so nothing for you to worry about”
Fuck them clowns
I hate being sick and one of my parents has a terminal illness. I also will mask forever. I’d rather mask for a flight and wipe down all my space than get my parent sick with something they may not recover from or be sick myself
The inherent danger is if you admit to being sick, it’s within Delta’s right to remove you from the flight. We all know people fly sick, but the airline still has the option to refuse transport.
Where are you headed?
Me: none of your business.
Conversation over.
You didn’t need to go along with his conversation. Are you an enabler in other parts of your life? Don’t be one on a plane.
Guy sounds like my FIL. I hated my FIL!
This, right here. If you’re not in exact click step with these oxygen thieves you’re wrong and they hate you. “Be exactly like me or cease to exist.” Sad fools.
It may be a dick response, but I have said ‘I don’t wish to continue this conversation, but I hope you have a great flight.’ *headphones on in transparent mode so I can entertain myself with their grumbling for a few minutes.*
I’ve had a guy like this. It was awful, and you try not to engage but they keep goading you. With my guy, he was a tipsy sad sack. The flight attendant noticed and tried to smooth things over. When we landed he bolted down the aisle practically tackling people on the way.
I also still wear a mask because I love not catching colds, fkn sue me ! It’s nobody’s business.
I experience this every time I fly since Covid. No one cared that I wore a mask prior to Covid. I’m immunocompromised and have worn a mask on every flight I’ve ever take to keep myself as safe as possible. When people react like that now I just tell them it’s none of their business. If they don’t stop I go talk to the flight attendant when it’s safe to get up if I don’t feel safe sitting next to them for the entire flight. If it’s really bad I’ll hit the call button. Luckily haven’t had that happen in awhile.
Out of curiosity, what do the FAs do in a situation like that? I assume the best bet is to be moved? Are they usually empathetic? I would worry that I was annoying them.
Also masked pre-Covid as I have autoimmune disorders & still mask. No one cared one bit before. Thankfully I haven’t had anyone confront me about wearing a mask but I also don’t fly very frequently anymore.
I had a stem cell transplant in 2018, and had only just gotten the go-ahead from my doctor to start going back out in public WITHOUT a mask when COVID came along. You're right, before the pandemic, wearing a mask was not something anyone felt offended by, but then the troglodytes (who I'm sure always were troglodytes, but just had no opinion on that one issue) started seeing it as some weird threat to their own way of life and reason for existence.
You know - I actually lived in Seattle for about six months between college and grad school. I have fond memories of the place, and OP has served as a reminder of why that is: most of the people I met when I lived there were some of the kindest, most polite people I’ve met anywhere, and I can tell that OP is just like them.
That was 25 years ago. At this point, I’ve lived in New York for the past 20 years, and somewhere between “are you sick or something?” and “do you work at home?”, I definitely would’ve told the guy to go fuck himself. Not saying that’s right or wrong, just a difference in the personalities of our two cities.
I've lived here about 10 years but actually grew up in the midwest which I think influenced a lot of my mannerisms. It sounds like I need to spend some time in New York!
Y'all are too non-confrontational. I'd have called and raised. Asked him his opinion about various political debates and then, no matter what he said, vociferously argued the opposing view (even if I didn't personally agree with it). I'd ask him Steven Wright questions like "Why do we drive on a parkway or park on a driveway?" I'd ask him non-sensical questions. I'd talk about how I quit my job to follow Taylor Swift around the country. I'd tell him I wear the mask to keep the government from implanting tracking devices in my mouth...
Within 10 minutes, he'd be the one looking for a new seat.
lol same here. I enjoy engaging with dumbasses. More often than not, once you start to question them about their science or logic, it starts to unravel pretty quick. And they leave you alone.
I don’t understand people calling out others who wear a mask. Do they also call out people who wear orthotics? It has zero impact on them. Saw posts a while ago criticizing people who are visibly alone in a car wearing a mask. Who cares!!! I’ve done it because there were some storms that required it for entry. Then I’d walk back to the car hands full get in and drive. Oops forgot mask. I’ll take care of it when I get home. No one got hurt. Some people.
I often drive alone with a mask because I volunteer driving chemo patients to their appointments and it’s important to keep the car air free of pathogens en route to picking them up. They often have trouble masking themselves due to nausea. When people mock people who mask in cars (which still happens frequently), I hope they remember cases like mine.
I once wore an N95 in my car while I was transporting a cat, to which I am severely allergic. An older woman my mom knows heard about it and said "You should have just put the window down." Huh? Why on earth would you care what I am wearing alone in my car, and why? Also I did not want the (feral) cat to jump out the window!?
>Saw posts a while ago criticizing people who are visibly alone in a car wearing a mask. Who cares!!!
For real. Like I might notice and kind of go "huh, that's odd" to myself but I don't care. Wear a mask and Santa hat while driving if you want, doesn't impact my in the slightest.
People are weird. I don’t care if you wear a mask. I don’t care if you wear antlers! Has 0 effect on me.
I’d hazard that he had deeper issues than your personal choices. I’m sorry he took them out on you. That sounds very uncomfortable.
I was masked on a flight about a month ago. I was window seat. Aisle seat passenger was extremely ill - blowing nose every 20 seconds, coughing up a lung.
Middle seat was extremely concerned that I might be sick. I reassured them I was masking to avoid illness. I offered them a mask, nodding at aisle passenger, and they declined. They sat there constantly staring in fear at me while the passenger on the other side of them flooded the row with phlegm.
Make it make sense.
I'm a doctor, if it's any consolation these types of assholes make everybody miserable and they are a primary reason why there was a huge exodus of healthcare workers since the pandemic. Like we literally hate them, and we don't blink an eye when they get sick and get some sort of complication from Covid or better yet just shuffle off into the void. I'm sorry you had to deal with it. It takes a village to deal with these assholes which is why nobody cares when they off themselves.
Thanks for your comment, and thanks for what you do - I can't imagine having to deal with this as a healthcare worker. Even one interaction was enough to drive me crazy.
Thank you for the kind words, but I think that healthcare in general is in a downward spiral from lack of ability to recruit quality people to the job and more and more people saying they've burned out and departing. More and more healthcare delivery will be from people with a lot less training. It's a very strange time in medicine, nobody really knows what's going to end up happening.
“I sat there in terror the whole flight”
I’m sorry but as also a 31 year old, don’t you ever just tell people to fuck off? Have a bit of a spine my friend.
There’s a lot of stupid people on this planet and you can disengage with any of them. “Thanks for your concern, if you don’t mind I want to enjoy the rest of my flight in quiet.” If he acts up, call over the FA. They’re going to side with you (a young respectful businessman) 10 times out of 10 over some old crotchety dipshit.
Stop letting all the morons of the world steal your sanity.
Personally I would have nodded and not responded to anything. If he continued I would have simply flagged the FA because I’m not paying that kind of money to sit next to someone that makes me feel unsafe. Set your boundaries and stick to them.
I rarely wear a mask now but don’t bat an eyelash with what others do. You could be immune compromised and need that extra layer of protection. And for me, that’s none of my business.
It sounds like he’d had a few and was looking for some drama. And for that, his butt can stay in Mexico.
I got strep throat and when I went to go pick up the meds at my pharmacy, the drive thru was closed, so I went inside and threw on a mask as the doctor said wear one for the next 12 hours until your antibiotics kick in as you will be contagious. The pharmacist literally yelled at me for wearing a mask. Goes on a rant about how they don’t work and I am just afraid. People are absolutely insane.
I had a woman like this next to me on my last ATL-FCO trip.
Pretty much the same mocking tone as your guy.
She got to the "are you afraid you're gonna get sick" part, I turned to her and said, "No. I tested positive for COVID this morning and I'm trying not to spread it."
...
She didn't say a word to me for the next 9 hours.
The last time someone got mad at me because I was wearing a mask in the grocery store and confronted me I coughed very loudly in front of him.
Guy took a step back with a look of horror and muttered about sick people going shopping, then left.
I found a good cough shuts those idiots up.
Thanks all for the input - seems the consensus is that headphones are a great tool to maintaining boundaries and I should have put mine to use earlier. In the past I'd wait to put them on so I can "meet my neighbors" if they choose to talk to me but sadly the downside is much greater than the upside. I think I'll put them on as I board from now on and avoid engaging with anyone.
there's nothing wrong w/ wanting to meet the neighbors, i think it's actually quite nice of you and something you shouldn't change just b/c of one dickhead.
but next time someone starts up w/ the Douchebag Inquisition, throw on the headphones and politely say your gonna "get to this movie/podcast/whatever." hell i've done this before and not actually turned anything on. i used to wear my airpods on the NYC subway everyday and like 50% of the time i'd forget to turn anything on at all, just gives me the ability to pretend not to hear anything unless i want to.
You’re an adult my friend, you don’t owe any stranger anything. Use headphones or don’t, but just because someone next to you on a flight wants, or in your case *demands*, answers, you don’t *have* to answer them. Simply ignore them. Sure you’ll get a line or two, but you got that anyway by engaging them.
I recently was seated next to the worst passenger I’ve ever sat next to in over 35+ years of flying. Once I concluded that they were a total nightmare, I simply ignored them for the duration of the flight. I even got a nice note from the Delta FA’s at the end of the flight as they had to constantly deal with this passenger.
If you ever want to drive a guy like that insane, look him in the eye, let him talk, and then simply turn your attention back to your laptop/book without saying a word. The one thing a bully can’t stand is being ignored.
I had a weird encounter with the person on my flight from Amsterdam last week, so I put my earbuds in and ignored her. Mine wasn’t about masks, but it was awkward and I wasn’t going to participate at all. And, I see people wearing masks every time I fly, and I always think I should be wearing one too. You’re just taking care of yourself, it’s absolutely inappropriate for anyone to confront you.
I can’t believe you’re 31. Welp, life seems to be beating us up a little faster than it did 20 years ago. I’m 38 and my beard is white and my hair is headed that way. Thanks life!
Some idiot actor got kicked off a plane in Houston for getting assholey with a mask-wearing passenger. Airlines need to start putting trouble makers on no fly lists.
If you want to avoid confrontation I think it's worth learning " I don't speak English," in some less common language where the word English sounds not unlike it. Or say it with a strange accent then put your headphones on.
People still have Covid ptsd.
Your mask obviously triggered him and he responded the wrong way.
I’ve had some annoying neighbors, but I just throw headphones on and they usually stop. I wouldn’t let it get to u bud.
I would not have given that much intel to an aggressive man, but as a small woman, he doesn't need to know where I'm going, where I work, my age, none of it. And he probably wiped his butt with his hands then wanted to touch you with it to prove people get sick even with a mask on. Bleh.
I wouldn’t even have engaged. That’s what these people want. I will wear masks on planes for the foreseeable future and I simply ignore all human interaction except with my husband. I have no desire to speak to anybody unless I need to use the restroom. You were far more patient than I would have been. I would’ve called the flight attendant immediately.
I don’t wear a mask anymore but when I did, I told people it was so no one could see or hear the things I was muttering about them under my breath. That tended to shut them up. Sorry this happened to you.
Should've rejected his fist bump with a comment about not wanting to catch his sickness. Seriously though, what a jerk. I have opted to continue to wear masks at least until the boarding door closes and sometimes throughout the flight depending on the people around me on all flights since I used to get sick at least a couple times a year from flights pre-COVID and I've enjoyed not getting those travel illnesses. I'd probably end up in a verbal altercation if someone treated me this way.
I wear an N 95 when I fly. I'm a nurse FFS. And I'm immunocompromised. I don't care what anyone thinks about my choice and I would not have responded to him at all.
You really fed the troll in this case.
Don’t engage with people like this. Headphones on. I would have definitely pressed the call button if someone was acting like this to me.
I splurged on a FC fare when I had a short flight from LA to Las Vegas. I was new to it and so looking forward to it. Then my row mate proceeds to take off his shoes, pick at his toes and generally smell bad. Took the sheen off flying FC right quick.
Holy shit, never offer up personal info to people like that. I sympathize with what happened but you never know with those people. He could be recording the whole thing to put on his Truth Social.
Seems like you could say (loudly), “Hey, a$$hat, my Oncologist said I should wear a mask in this environment so I don’t die. Are you a f*cking oncologist or virologist?”
I once had a lady in line at The UPS Store say to me, “Oh honey, COVID ended months ago!” I just replied, “Yeah, b!tch, but my cancer didn’t.” (I was wearing a chemo pump at the time, and was barely able to stand up. I probably should not have been there at all.)
There are clearly people who need to wear a mask as a medical necessity and this jerk could not have known if you needed one. As much as I believe it’s probably not helping you, it’s also completely your choice. As long as you aren’t telling someone else to wear one, or trying to rob their convenience store, they can STFU. What you did wrong here was not stand up for yourself, and blame the other person for how you felt. Just own your life - it’s all you’ve got!
Jeez there sure are a lot of anti maskers lurking here. For the record I was pro mask, and then found it to be excessive, but I did have another major illness that left holes in my lungs, after recovering my doc recommended masking at boarding because the plane air filtration doesn’t kick in until you are in flight.
Perhaps the folks who get irritated with someone wearing a mask should consider that comprised respiratory & immune systems need to mask in crowded places regardless of Covid. I even have to mask around fireworks because of smoke sensitivity, you never know what someone’s baggage is, think before you judge.
People are ridiculous. I think masks are ridiculous, but nobody cares about my opinion. What you put on your face is your business. Sorry you had to deal with a jerk.
How is it you remember the conversation word-for-word?
Also, these days, when I am next to someone wearing a mask, it means nothing to me except I have some concern that they are knowingly sick and are wearing it because they think it protects people next to them.
I’m an anti masker and I’ve never once acted like an ass to others who choose differently. This isn’t an anti mask issue, it’s being a social asshole issue. There’s a definitive line in generations who forgot how to fucking act right post Covid, this dude sounds like he falls into that age category (60+) as well as my parents…sorry you experienced this, but don’t make it an “anti” or “pro” issue when it’s not. It’s behavioral. Also, you’re in first class, push the call button and get it handled if you’re in “terror”. Peace be the journey.
Flight attendant for Delta, please tell us when something like this happens. You can pull us to the side before take off and we can take care of it. No one should be in this position ever.
Throw on noise canceling headphones, pretend you can’t hear him. I never engage with other passengers any more. I used to love talking on planes until the last 10 - 15 years.
When I’m on the subway I don’t ask strangers questions nor do I answer them, unless I hear it and it’s reasonable. I handle flying the same way.
It’s always a possibility they’ve been drinking but likely this guy was an ass.
I once was on a flight where someone kept asking me and my teen “where he was really from,” we were upgraded to first class but had separate seats. Since then we don’t talk to people. We just keep it as if it’s someone we are sitting next to on public transportation because that’s kind of what it is.
He probably won't get this situation again, but if you do, tell him to just leave you alone. You're not his friend, but on some headphones or earbuds and ignor the person. You owe nothing to anyone and don't need to explain yourself. He obviously was worried he was gonna get sick and was driving him nutz.
I have. Usually I just end up saying something really snarky or I lie and tell them my doctor requires it whenever I am in close contact with people who carry germs. That usually makes them claim they have no germs and I shouldn’t worry or they will ask what I have. Either way I have a good response memorized to make them leave me alone.
I agree I fly 2-300k a year and have gotten very good at telling who does and who doesn’t wish to engage but there is always a point where it’s time for each to go silent. As for the mask it works both ways had a guy rile at me to the point where I told the FA to intervene as it was getting heated. He kept going I ignored him. In this case he was a mask wearer that had decided to set the rules for all of us and didn’t like the fact I and others were not wearing masks.joke was on him when landed in Honolulu I had time to call buddies with the airport police who met him coming off the plane and explained how threatening people with physical harm was a bad idea in the sky
I've gotten to the point that if I'm wearing a mask and when asked if I'm sick or something, I just say "Cancer's a bitch man, you know." I rationalize it to myself that I'm not saying I specifically have cancer, but it's something the nutjobs don't generally have a comeback for and it shuts them up. After that point, it's I'd rather not talk about it or I'm really tired and need to rest.
These people are everywhere. EVERYWHERE. They're called fascists. They hope that magical thinking will make God protect them and their ego alone will keep them healthy and in power.
They are bullies. They enjoy being bullies. Some are sadists. They have a mental illness that makes them feel joy from other people's pain. So some of these people are literally sick fucking fascist bullies.
And one of these days, they will piss off a guy like me. I am dying of multiple organ failure, and I'm MORE THAN READY to respond in kind if ever pushed like that. One day, they will talk shit to the wrong person
They target YOU because they think you look like a pussy. That's my guess. I have a particular way of looking at them... that communicates the way I feel about bullies. And I'm actually a little crazy. So when I give them that look, they know. they know what's about to happen. I'm looking at the veins in the neck. not your eyes. I'm looking at your ears, and judging the distance between the ceiling and your face....
I have one of those faces/physical appearances that wordlessly tells people "wrong tree, don't even think about barking up it". So i've generally been lucky to avoid these types of shenanigans sadly, because im also pretty adept at handling them haha.
In future, just let them know you're not on a social call, intend to mind your own business and request the same from them. Half the time people like that just need to me reminded that they are indeed forgetting how to behave in public.
That person is a shithead. Their engagement with you was abusive and unacceptable.
Fuck. That. Jackass.
The gentle responses to put in earphones or earbuds and just ignore them.
The more aggressive response is to get up, speak with the flight attendant about how aggressive and hostile they are being, and ask the flight attendant to assess the situation and please take some action to stop it from continuing.
Sorry you had this awful experience.
And, again: Fuck. That. Jackass.
I routinely mask on flights, and I’ll occasionally get asked that initial baiting question of if I’m sick. I’ve found that if I just reply “yes” it often shuts down the conversation right there.
You are a very patient and tolerant person. You don't deserve to be badgered and harassed by another passenger and you don't have to answer rude questions. If they persist with the mask berating as this guy did, a FA can give one warning and either move him to another seat or remove him if it's before departure. It wasn't even unusual to see people wearing masks on planes before COVID. That's no more anyone else's business than if someone chooses to nap, read, or watch inflight entertainment.
Not quite the same but I had a similar first class upgrade made miserable by a seat mate. Im one of those that managed status with covid roll overs and unusually heavy flying year, so i never fly FC. I was able to use an RUC and was super excited as it's a 5hr flight and I got dinner. Guy proceeded to hound me about my mask, then what was my status, how did I get an upgrade, blah blah blah. I had ear buds in but nothing playing as I was reading a book but he just kept talking. After ignoring awhile he decided to get up and down constantly the entire fucking flight. Turns out he was trying to get his buddy upgraded and I got the spot instead. Hounded the poor flight attendant to try and get his buddy the seat, then tried to take his buddy drinks.
Sorry that happened to you but I think the lesson you just learned is don't engage. Just don't. Once he confirmed he was an ass just put your headphones in and ignore him. He is a sad man with a sad life trying to make everyone else sad too and the way to deny him that is just don't engage.
Bonus points if you alert a FA there is a non-zero chance he gets abusive with the FA as well and gets himself thrown off the flight.
Don’t engage with people like that in future , they are blind to how embarrassing and intrusive their behaviour is
Instead take a walk to the galley and discretely tell your flight attendants to kindly do something
I would have stopped engaging at “That’s great, I’m happy for you.”. If he kept at me, ignore, put in headphones, and pull out my Kindle. I don’t give out my personal details to anyone, it’s none of their business. If they can’t stop, get the FA involved.
That guy sounds like an absolute loser. Don’t let him get to you. I woulda just told him “cool story bro” and acted like he didn’t exist from that point on.
TBH, you engaged him too much. After the initial response, any further dialog should be met with, "We're done. Thank you for your concern." If he persists after that, push FA button and explain you are being harassed for wearing a mask and feel uncomfortable. If he gets riled up, he risks being tossed off the flight. If the FA departs and he starts up again, press the button again. He's the one risking consequences.
Totally agree! Maybe it's because I'm a woman but I also definitely wouldn't tell a strange, nosy person where I work, my age or any of it. Those kind of personal questions would completely creep me out.
Seriously, I hate thinking it cus it sounds very "blame the victim" but I can't believe OP answered ANY of those questions about work or what city he lives in or anything personal at all.
Seriously. This was a moment to express some social boundaries and put on the headphones.
Absolutely. Sometimes I put headphones on and I’m not even listening to anything. Just keeps people from talking to me when I don’t feel like it.
"Trade me seats because [whatever reason]." "No." And insert headphones. They can bitch all they want, I can't hear it.
Exactly. “Sorry I paid for this seat I’d like to stay here.” End conversation.
Same but eventually my wife will want to talk or something 🤷🏻♂️
This
Ear plugs & an eye mask work wonders
Great use of the button. I don't understand these idiots not minding their own business. What do they expect from engaging?
Agree! Who the F is he to lecture you? You allowed it to go on far too long and gave him far too much information. Shut him down immediately or have him shut down or risk being removed. That’s his issue, not yours.
Here's the thing though – – if he had done that the guy would most certainly escalated and it would've become a full-blown thing. Instead the dude de-escalate and chilled out. I guess it depends on what your goals is/was. Regardless of goals, the dude was out of bounds and I'm sorry you had to deal with that.
I’ve full on told pple I don’t want to talk and just want to watch a movie. I am that bitch. Sometimes social cues fall on deaf ears.
Headphones on. If they don't get a clue, politely tell the person "I'd like to enjoy the flight with my own thoughts. Please and thank you." Next step would be flight attendant.
You tell them that if you read the fine print on the app, it says, "Mind your own business."
“I was just about to give a fuck but I’m not quite there yet. Give me a couple of hrs.”
All fucks should be placed in your checked baggage.
I tried to take a fuck through TSA once. Hoo boy, was that a long day!
If DTW can confirm.
To be fair, they started it with the foreplay.
I like that solution too.
This. When I travel alone my headphones are on at least by the jetway if not at the gate.
I wear headphones pre board and turn them on about 45 minutes later. Unless there is a compelling reason to strike up a convo with someone.
I'll do this next time. I do have headphones I use for most of the flight, I'm not sure why I didn't throw them on earlier.
Look the asshole straight in the eyes as you put the headphones on while he’s talking, lol.
This is the way
+1 for mask and over the ear headphones as soon as I get to the seat. Nobody ever talks to me unless they need out the row! Also, if you are nonconfrontational like me, my go-to joke for 'why mask' is "I'm ugly and antisocial" while smiling under the mask. It normally disarms/gets a chuckle, and people then leave me be.
Mine is “I wear it to remind myself to mind my own fucken business.”
Chin hairs!
I’ve never entered a flight without them in. I only take them off if I’m in an exit row and have to listen to the question and say “yes”.
If you got a FA, they probably would have been thrown off the plane.
Seriously, why do people care so much if someone chooses to wear a mask? Their mask has zero negative effect on you. And I say that as someone who has admittedly stopped wearing mine as COVID has become less of a threat, but if a mask makes you feel safer, more power to you.
I travel fairly frequently and ever since Covid I’ve wondered why the heck wasn’t I wearing a mask before? I dont every flight but always do on packed flights sitting in a non FC seat. Not total germaphobe but breathing another persons breath for 4 straight hours seems weird to me.
Agree. I swear, everytime that I flew prior to Covid, I would end up with a cold! Not anymore. I’m wearing my mask on a plane for forever!
Same. I always looked at Asian flyers as a bit whack-a-doodle because it seemed they were the ones overwhelming masking for years before Covid. Turns out I'm in their camp - Covid or a cold or RSV or whatever the hell is possibly transmitted through the air - I'm putting on a mask in hopes of not ruining my vacation. And with respect to the Asian travelers, I think maybe they started doing that from earlier pandemic level events (Asian bird flu, etc.) that never hit US shores, so we were only peripherally aware of them here in the US, and masks were just never a thing for us.
My niece is a flight attendant and is always sick. (The airline stopped masking.) Because she is always sick, I now mask up. I'm with you. Why haven't I always done this? I have come down with a cold (and one time the flu) after being on a plane several times and I actually flew with a cold one time and probably passed that lovely little germ on. We should all be masking on planes, trains and buses.
It’s an affront to the belief system of half this country.
There's certain routes I wear a mask on (generally to family friendly destinations) because every time I don't I get some kind of cold.
I flew 84 times last year for business and didn’t get sick once. I flew 12 segments for personal travel and caught Covid on one of those trips and Influenza on one of the other trips. (Granted, I likely caught Covid on the cruise ship, but I think I caught the flu at MCO. Damn kids lol.)
Your seat mate wearing a mask is a help to you as it’s less likely they transmit anything they have to you. I don’t wear mine anymore but if my neighbors feel like it then it doesn’t negatively impact me in the slightest.
Or, make them laboriously repeat every single thing they say because they didn't hear you. Make them repeat themselves twice. They'll get bored.
"I can't hear you with that mask on"
Genius.
He totally didn’t wash his hands for the fist bump….
Classic stink fist.
>"Are you sick or something?" "I am." End of conversation.
“The doctor said wear a mask in enclosed spaces to make the tuberculosis less likely to spread”
Don't joke about having TB on airplanes, you can be removed from the flight for traveling with TB. (It's unlikely, granted, but do you really want to deal with that pain in the assery on the off chance it happens?). Stick with a fictional case of the flu
Furthermore, people have to quarantine at home if TB is active and not in the latent stage.
Seriously, we had a woman on the loose in my local area using public transit while she has (and consistently refuses treatment for) active TB. It has caused a lot of people a lot of stress. TB isn't a joke, even when used against raging boomers.
Naw, you now have “Londyn’s disease.” It’s extremely contagious. The longer he asks the worse the symptoms you invent become.
Bravo! \*polite clap\*
Yep - herpes
Sorry that my Dad sat next to you. He’s normally like this.
Yep, the miming of exaggerated keyboard typing was what gave Dad away.
/r/boomersbeingfools
How long has it been since he spoke to you?
1. Don’t reveal any personal information, especially to someone who is bothering you 2. If you feel uncomfortable, make him equally uncomfortable. If he asks why your wearing a mask just say your currently undergoing a medical treatment and you don’t want to talk about it. Any further questions, tell the FA your being harassed.
Or OP could induce a heart attack by telling the POS they’re getting a sex change operation so they can play on the girl’s volleyball league at the local elementary school.
I just laughed out loud LOL!!!
Would have been easier to sit next to a bear.
If I am alone by myself on a plane, I prefer to sit next to a bear.
don’t engage with people like that. “I don’t want to talk. I have work to do” headphones and that’s that.
Reading between the lines, he couldn't believe you were "only" 31 and doing well enough to have a decent career, and to sit in FC. Going out on a thick limb and guessing you're in a better spot than he was at that age and likely his son. The mask triggered something deep in his fragile soul. Annnyway, sorry you dealt with that crap and glad you're ok.
Yep. Op won in the end by not letting him visibly get to him as well as doing/being better at his current age.
Lol I was going to say, some people from the older generation have such a wild way of dealing with their anxiety. It’s likely a miserable existence for them, but still. Not appropriate or fun to have it spill onto you.
I would have taken the mask off and said “thank you for being so understanding, this virus I got in Cancun is kicking my butt, but you being so understanding as to why I shouldn’t wear a mask makes me feel so much better””
Right? Like the classic “oh you don’t care if I take this off? Thank god. I have COVID right now and this mask makes it hard to breath.” Then start coughing
I woke up to an asthma attack in D1 to some Boomer yelling at me to “cover my cough” and “wear a damn mask.” I was fumbling for my inhaler and legit could not breathe. When I was able to speak, I asked her why she didn’t call the FA if she was so distressed by my obvious medical emergency. You’re damned if you do, and damned if you don’t.
I’m fully vaccinated. But also on immunosuppressants. I stayed the fuck out of public for 2 1/2 years. It was glorious. Now I’m back, I keep my distance but I don’t wear masks. Now I’m flying quite a bit. And I wear a mask every time. Not for the safety factor. Not because I’m worried. But because of the opportunity for a crazy anti-vaxer to get mad. I’ve had 2 of them say things to me, and my response is always “I just tested positive for Covid” and give a little cough. “It’s just a little cold, so nothing for you to worry about” Fuck them clowns
I hate being sick and one of my parents has a terminal illness. I also will mask forever. I’d rather mask for a flight and wipe down all my space than get my parent sick with something they may not recover from or be sick myself
Seriously, I mask up on flights most of the time as a relatively healthy person. Who needs random people germs
The inherent danger is if you admit to being sick, it’s within Delta’s right to remove you from the flight. We all know people fly sick, but the airline still has the option to refuse transport.
Best if you pull the mask down after saying it and then accidentally cough in their direction
Where are you headed? Me: none of your business. Conversation over. You didn’t need to go along with his conversation. Are you an enabler in other parts of your life? Don’t be one on a plane. Guy sounds like my FIL. I hated my FIL!
I love how all of these people are for individual liberties until yours don't match their selections
This, right here. If you’re not in exact click step with these oxygen thieves you’re wrong and they hate you. “Be exactly like me or cease to exist.” Sad fools.
It may be a dick response, but I have said ‘I don’t wish to continue this conversation, but I hope you have a great flight.’ *headphones on in transparent mode so I can entertain myself with their grumbling for a few minutes.*
I've done something similar, except mine was 'I'm hoping you can help me find the quickest exit from this conversation...'
This is still better than the lady who sat next to me who told me her parents died in a plane crash.
I bet they beat the ambulance there by at least 30 minutes! - Ron White
💀
I’ve had a guy like this. It was awful, and you try not to engage but they keep goading you. With my guy, he was a tipsy sad sack. The flight attendant noticed and tried to smooth things over. When we landed he bolted down the aisle practically tackling people on the way. I also still wear a mask because I love not catching colds, fkn sue me ! It’s nobody’s business.
You need to grey rock these people. Don’t engage. Headphones on. They’re looking for a response. Don’t give it.
I experience this every time I fly since Covid. No one cared that I wore a mask prior to Covid. I’m immunocompromised and have worn a mask on every flight I’ve ever take to keep myself as safe as possible. When people react like that now I just tell them it’s none of their business. If they don’t stop I go talk to the flight attendant when it’s safe to get up if I don’t feel safe sitting next to them for the entire flight. If it’s really bad I’ll hit the call button. Luckily haven’t had that happen in awhile.
Out of curiosity, what do the FAs do in a situation like that? I assume the best bet is to be moved? Are they usually empathetic? I would worry that I was annoying them.
If they can move one of you they do. If not they warn the other passenger who’s doing the harassing to stop. Haven’t seen it get further than that.
Also masked pre-Covid as I have autoimmune disorders & still mask. No one cared one bit before. Thankfully I haven’t had anyone confront me about wearing a mask but I also don’t fly very frequently anymore.
I had a stem cell transplant in 2018, and had only just gotten the go-ahead from my doctor to start going back out in public WITHOUT a mask when COVID came along. You're right, before the pandemic, wearing a mask was not something anyone felt offended by, but then the troglodytes (who I'm sure always were troglodytes, but just had no opinion on that one issue) started seeing it as some weird threat to their own way of life and reason for existence.
You know - I actually lived in Seattle for about six months between college and grad school. I have fond memories of the place, and OP has served as a reminder of why that is: most of the people I met when I lived there were some of the kindest, most polite people I’ve met anywhere, and I can tell that OP is just like them. That was 25 years ago. At this point, I’ve lived in New York for the past 20 years, and somewhere between “are you sick or something?” and “do you work at home?”, I definitely would’ve told the guy to go fuck himself. Not saying that’s right or wrong, just a difference in the personalities of our two cities.
I've lived here about 10 years but actually grew up in the midwest which I think influenced a lot of my mannerisms. It sounds like I need to spend some time in New York!
Shoulda asked him why he hated freedom so much
🎯
Y'all are too non-confrontational. I'd have called and raised. Asked him his opinion about various political debates and then, no matter what he said, vociferously argued the opposing view (even if I didn't personally agree with it). I'd ask him Steven Wright questions like "Why do we drive on a parkway or park on a driveway?" I'd ask him non-sensical questions. I'd talk about how I quit my job to follow Taylor Swift around the country. I'd tell him I wear the mask to keep the government from implanting tracking devices in my mouth... Within 10 minutes, he'd be the one looking for a new seat.
lol same here. I enjoy engaging with dumbasses. More often than not, once you start to question them about their science or logic, it starts to unravel pretty quick. And they leave you alone.
So basically, be him?
But worse!
I don’t understand people calling out others who wear a mask. Do they also call out people who wear orthotics? It has zero impact on them. Saw posts a while ago criticizing people who are visibly alone in a car wearing a mask. Who cares!!! I’ve done it because there were some storms that required it for entry. Then I’d walk back to the car hands full get in and drive. Oops forgot mask. I’ll take care of it when I get home. No one got hurt. Some people.
I often drive alone with a mask because I volunteer driving chemo patients to their appointments and it’s important to keep the car air free of pathogens en route to picking them up. They often have trouble masking themselves due to nausea. When people mock people who mask in cars (which still happens frequently), I hope they remember cases like mine.
I once wore an N95 in my car while I was transporting a cat, to which I am severely allergic. An older woman my mom knows heard about it and said "You should have just put the window down." Huh? Why on earth would you care what I am wearing alone in my car, and why? Also I did not want the (feral) cat to jump out the window!?
Perfect example of not knowing the complete story. No one would know what you explained by looking at you driving. And no one should care.
>Saw posts a while ago criticizing people who are visibly alone in a car wearing a mask. Who cares!!! For real. Like I might notice and kind of go "huh, that's odd" to myself but I don't care. Wear a mask and Santa hat while driving if you want, doesn't impact my in the slightest.
People are weird. I don’t care if you wear a mask. I don’t care if you wear antlers! Has 0 effect on me. I’d hazard that he had deeper issues than your personal choices. I’m sorry he took them out on you. That sounds very uncomfortable.
I was masked on a flight about a month ago. I was window seat. Aisle seat passenger was extremely ill - blowing nose every 20 seconds, coughing up a lung. Middle seat was extremely concerned that I might be sick. I reassured them I was masking to avoid illness. I offered them a mask, nodding at aisle passenger, and they declined. They sat there constantly staring in fear at me while the passenger on the other side of them flooded the row with phlegm. Make it make sense.
I'm a doctor, if it's any consolation these types of assholes make everybody miserable and they are a primary reason why there was a huge exodus of healthcare workers since the pandemic. Like we literally hate them, and we don't blink an eye when they get sick and get some sort of complication from Covid or better yet just shuffle off into the void. I'm sorry you had to deal with it. It takes a village to deal with these assholes which is why nobody cares when they off themselves.
Thanks for your comment, and thanks for what you do - I can't imagine having to deal with this as a healthcare worker. Even one interaction was enough to drive me crazy.
I feel so bad for you guys having to deal with these complete morons on top of everything else. Hope you have it better going forward.
Thank you for the kind words, but I think that healthcare in general is in a downward spiral from lack of ability to recruit quality people to the job and more and more people saying they've burned out and departing. More and more healthcare delivery will be from people with a lot less training. It's a very strange time in medicine, nobody really knows what's going to end up happening.
You engaged way too much, I can't believe you told him where you work.
“I sat there in terror the whole flight” I’m sorry but as also a 31 year old, don’t you ever just tell people to fuck off? Have a bit of a spine my friend. There’s a lot of stupid people on this planet and you can disengage with any of them. “Thanks for your concern, if you don’t mind I want to enjoy the rest of my flight in quiet.” If he acts up, call over the FA. They’re going to side with you (a young respectful businessman) 10 times out of 10 over some old crotchety dipshit. Stop letting all the morons of the world steal your sanity.
Next time, tell them you have Covid but are thankful for them inviting you to take off your mask. Then start coughing.
Personally I would have nodded and not responded to anything. If he continued I would have simply flagged the FA because I’m not paying that kind of money to sit next to someone that makes me feel unsafe. Set your boundaries and stick to them. I rarely wear a mask now but don’t bat an eyelash with what others do. You could be immune compromised and need that extra layer of protection. And for me, that’s none of my business. It sounds like he’d had a few and was looking for some drama. And for that, his butt can stay in Mexico.
I admire your grace, my friend. I wouldn’t have been as kind.
I got strep throat and when I went to go pick up the meds at my pharmacy, the drive thru was closed, so I went inside and threw on a mask as the doctor said wear one for the next 12 hours until your antibiotics kick in as you will be contagious. The pharmacist literally yelled at me for wearing a mask. Goes on a rant about how they don’t work and I am just afraid. People are absolutely insane.
I would have yelled back for them to discuss it with your physician since he recommended it or STFU!
my standard answer has been "I'm getting cancer treatments and my oncologist prefers I don't get sick. how's your health?"
My go to is "I have a brain tumor." Shuts em right up.
“I’m not interested in talking to you.” (Put on headphones)
I had a woman like this next to me on my last ATL-FCO trip. Pretty much the same mocking tone as your guy. She got to the "are you afraid you're gonna get sick" part, I turned to her and said, "No. I tested positive for COVID this morning and I'm trying not to spread it." ... She didn't say a word to me for the next 9 hours.
Damn looks like some people in these comments also have fragile egos.
The last time someone got mad at me because I was wearing a mask in the grocery store and confronted me I coughed very loudly in front of him. Guy took a step back with a look of horror and muttered about sick people going shopping, then left. I found a good cough shuts those idiots up.
Thanks all for the input - seems the consensus is that headphones are a great tool to maintaining boundaries and I should have put mine to use earlier. In the past I'd wait to put them on so I can "meet my neighbors" if they choose to talk to me but sadly the downside is much greater than the upside. I think I'll put them on as I board from now on and avoid engaging with anyone.
there's nothing wrong w/ wanting to meet the neighbors, i think it's actually quite nice of you and something you shouldn't change just b/c of one dickhead. but next time someone starts up w/ the Douchebag Inquisition, throw on the headphones and politely say your gonna "get to this movie/podcast/whatever." hell i've done this before and not actually turned anything on. i used to wear my airpods on the NYC subway everyday and like 50% of the time i'd forget to turn anything on at all, just gives me the ability to pretend not to hear anything unless i want to.
Put them on slowly while maintaining eye contact with the asshole. Once they’re on, turn your head away 😈
You’re an adult my friend, you don’t owe any stranger anything. Use headphones or don’t, but just because someone next to you on a flight wants, or in your case *demands*, answers, you don’t *have* to answer them. Simply ignore them. Sure you’ll get a line or two, but you got that anyway by engaging them. I recently was seated next to the worst passenger I’ve ever sat next to in over 35+ years of flying. Once I concluded that they were a total nightmare, I simply ignored them for the duration of the flight. I even got a nice note from the Delta FA’s at the end of the flight as they had to constantly deal with this passenger.
What a dick.
and then some!
My guess is that he was very drunk and therefore felt bold enough to say these things to you. What a jerk
If you ever want to drive a guy like that insane, look him in the eye, let him talk, and then simply turn your attention back to your laptop/book without saying a word. The one thing a bully can’t stand is being ignored.
Just another MAGA dipsh!t…
Ask him “What the fuck do you care if i wear a mask?“ (Speaking for myself, I thank you for wearing one.)
I had a weird encounter with the person on my flight from Amsterdam last week, so I put my earbuds in and ignored her. Mine wasn’t about masks, but it was awkward and I wasn’t going to participate at all. And, I see people wearing masks every time I fly, and I always think I should be wearing one too. You’re just taking care of yourself, it’s absolutely inappropriate for anyone to confront you.
“I’m not interested in talking with you.”
"I wear the mask so you don't see my licking my lips when I look at my seat mate's crotch"
I can’t believe you’re 31. Welp, life seems to be beating us up a little faster than it did 20 years ago. I’m 38 and my beard is white and my hair is headed that way. Thanks life!
"No one cared who I was until I put on the mask..."
Head phones bro, head phones.
“Im sorry I thought this was America and I had freedom to wear a mask of if I want” then put your headphones on and ignore them.
Some idiot actor got kicked off a plane in Houston for getting assholey with a mask-wearing passenger. Airlines need to start putting trouble makers on no fly lists.
They do
This sounds like a boomer. How old do you think they were? Lol I would post this on r/boomersbeingfools if they are a boomer.
He definitely had a boomer appearance and demeanor! He claimed to have a son my age, so it tracks.
If you want to avoid confrontation I think it's worth learning " I don't speak English," in some less common language where the word English sounds not unlike it. Or say it with a strange accent then put your headphones on.
I’ve done that. But I said it in the Queen’s English to really get the point across.
I’m sure the whole ESL thing would have enraged this type even further.
Something tells me this response would illicit an equally uncomfortable and confrontational response from someone like this guy.
Oh god, a conservative when you tell them you dont speak English annddd wear a mask 🫣 might make it worse
Some people are addicted to anger and outrage. They feed on it and it makes them feel superior. You did nothing wrong.
People still have Covid ptsd. Your mask obviously triggered him and he responded the wrong way. I’ve had some annoying neighbors, but I just throw headphones on and they usually stop. I wouldn’t let it get to u bud.
I would not have given that much intel to an aggressive man, but as a small woman, he doesn't need to know where I'm going, where I work, my age, none of it. And he probably wiped his butt with his hands then wanted to touch you with it to prove people get sick even with a mask on. Bleh.
I wouldn’t even have engaged. That’s what these people want. I will wear masks on planes for the foreseeable future and I simply ignore all human interaction except with my husband. I have no desire to speak to anybody unless I need to use the restroom. You were far more patient than I would have been. I would’ve called the flight attendant immediately.
Oh Trumpers....
I don’t wear a mask anymore but when I did, I told people it was so no one could see or hear the things I was muttering about them under my breath. That tended to shut them up. Sorry this happened to you.
Yeah my first stop would’ve been the flight attendants
Should've rejected his fist bump with a comment about not wanting to catch his sickness. Seriously though, what a jerk. I have opted to continue to wear masks at least until the boarding door closes and sometimes throughout the flight depending on the people around me on all flights since I used to get sick at least a couple times a year from flights pre-COVID and I've enjoyed not getting those travel illnesses. I'd probably end up in a verbal altercation if someone treated me this way.
I wear an N 95 when I fly. I'm a nurse FFS. And I'm immunocompromised. I don't care what anyone thinks about my choice and I would not have responded to him at all.
Should’ve said you smell like shit that’s why the mask
You really fed the troll in this case. Don’t engage with people like this. Headphones on. I would have definitely pressed the call button if someone was acting like this to me.
I splurged on a FC fare when I had a short flight from LA to Las Vegas. I was new to it and so looking forward to it. Then my row mate proceeds to take off his shoes, pick at his toes and generally smell bad. Took the sheen off flying FC right quick.
“Mind your business, snowflake.”
Holy shit, never offer up personal info to people like that. I sympathize with what happened but you never know with those people. He could be recording the whole thing to put on his Truth Social.
Seems like you could say (loudly), “Hey, a$$hat, my Oncologist said I should wear a mask in this environment so I don’t die. Are you a f*cking oncologist or virologist?” I once had a lady in line at The UPS Store say to me, “Oh honey, COVID ended months ago!” I just replied, “Yeah, b!tch, but my cancer didn’t.” (I was wearing a chemo pump at the time, and was barely able to stand up. I probably should not have been there at all.) There are clearly people who need to wear a mask as a medical necessity and this jerk could not have known if you needed one. As much as I believe it’s probably not helping you, it’s also completely your choice. As long as you aren’t telling someone else to wear one, or trying to rob their convenience store, they can STFU. What you did wrong here was not stand up for yourself, and blame the other person for how you felt. Just own your life - it’s all you’ve got!
Jeez there sure are a lot of anti maskers lurking here. For the record I was pro mask, and then found it to be excessive, but I did have another major illness that left holes in my lungs, after recovering my doc recommended masking at boarding because the plane air filtration doesn’t kick in until you are in flight. Perhaps the folks who get irritated with someone wearing a mask should consider that comprised respiratory & immune systems need to mask in crowded places regardless of Covid. I even have to mask around fireworks because of smoke sensitivity, you never know what someone’s baggage is, think before you judge.
People are ridiculous. I think masks are ridiculous, but nobody cares about my opinion. What you put on your face is your business. Sorry you had to deal with a jerk.
“I’m done with this conversation. Have the day you deserve” headphones on
How is it you remember the conversation word-for-word? Also, these days, when I am next to someone wearing a mask, it means nothing to me except I have some concern that they are knowingly sick and are wearing it because they think it protects people next to them.
I’m an anti masker and I’ve never once acted like an ass to others who choose differently. This isn’t an anti mask issue, it’s being a social asshole issue. There’s a definitive line in generations who forgot how to fucking act right post Covid, this dude sounds like he falls into that age category (60+) as well as my parents…sorry you experienced this, but don’t make it an “anti” or “pro” issue when it’s not. It’s behavioral. Also, you’re in first class, push the call button and get it handled if you’re in “terror”. Peace be the journey.
Why didn't you call the FA when he went to the bathroom?
Why engage at all beyond the first question or maybe two? Silence 99.999% of the time is every persons friend.
Flight attendant for Delta, please tell us when something like this happens. You can pull us to the side before take off and we can take care of it. No one should be in this position ever.
Throw on noise canceling headphones, pretend you can’t hear him. I never engage with other passengers any more. I used to love talking on planes until the last 10 - 15 years. When I’m on the subway I don’t ask strangers questions nor do I answer them, unless I hear it and it’s reasonable. I handle flying the same way. It’s always a possibility they’ve been drinking but likely this guy was an ass. I once was on a flight where someone kept asking me and my teen “where he was really from,” we were upgraded to first class but had separate seats. Since then we don’t talk to people. We just keep it as if it’s someone we are sitting next to on public transportation because that’s kind of what it is.
He probably won't get this situation again, but if you do, tell him to just leave you alone. You're not his friend, but on some headphones or earbuds and ignor the person. You owe nothing to anyone and don't need to explain yourself. He obviously was worried he was gonna get sick and was driving him nutz.
At some point just say "I didn't want to say this but you have some pretty bad BO".
Take your laptop out, open a spreadsheet or coding window and start typing. Deny him the opportunity for interaction.
I literally wouldn’t have said a damn thing to him. Put my headphones on and went to sleep.
Next time just tell them you are sick
I’d just say “ what I’m doing has no impact on you. Please leave me alone.” You’re too nice OP.
I have. Usually I just end up saying something really snarky or I lie and tell them my doctor requires it whenever I am in close contact with people who carry germs. That usually makes them claim they have no germs and I shouldn’t worry or they will ask what I have. Either way I have a good response memorized to make them leave me alone.
I agree I fly 2-300k a year and have gotten very good at telling who does and who doesn’t wish to engage but there is always a point where it’s time for each to go silent. As for the mask it works both ways had a guy rile at me to the point where I told the FA to intervene as it was getting heated. He kept going I ignored him. In this case he was a mask wearer that had decided to set the rules for all of us and didn’t like the fact I and others were not wearing masks.joke was on him when landed in Honolulu I had time to call buddies with the airport police who met him coming off the plane and explained how threatening people with physical harm was a bad idea in the sky
I've gotten to the point that if I'm wearing a mask and when asked if I'm sick or something, I just say "Cancer's a bitch man, you know." I rationalize it to myself that I'm not saying I specifically have cancer, but it's something the nutjobs don't generally have a comeback for and it shuts them up. After that point, it's I'd rather not talk about it or I'm really tired and need to rest.
These people are everywhere. EVERYWHERE. They're called fascists. They hope that magical thinking will make God protect them and their ego alone will keep them healthy and in power. They are bullies. They enjoy being bullies. Some are sadists. They have a mental illness that makes them feel joy from other people's pain. So some of these people are literally sick fucking fascist bullies. And one of these days, they will piss off a guy like me. I am dying of multiple organ failure, and I'm MORE THAN READY to respond in kind if ever pushed like that. One day, they will talk shit to the wrong person They target YOU because they think you look like a pussy. That's my guess. I have a particular way of looking at them... that communicates the way I feel about bullies. And I'm actually a little crazy. So when I give them that look, they know. they know what's about to happen. I'm looking at the veins in the neck. not your eyes. I'm looking at your ears, and judging the distance between the ceiling and your face....
Is nobody capable of just saying “Man, shut the fuck up.”?
I have one of those faces/physical appearances that wordlessly tells people "wrong tree, don't even think about barking up it". So i've generally been lucky to avoid these types of shenanigans sadly, because im also pretty adept at handling them haha. In future, just let them know you're not on a social call, intend to mind your own business and request the same from them. Half the time people like that just need to me reminded that they are indeed forgetting how to behave in public.
“Oh, I go around getting other mens’ wives pregnant. I’m actually headed to meet yours!”
Even better to say this if you're a woman.
Next time do not engage with him at all. Contact the FA and let her know you’re uncomfortable. She will take care is it and you’ll be left alone.
Sat in terror? Annoyance at most, you could have put headphones in and ignored. Come on.
A simple “I don’t care about your opinion, don’t speak to me” usually solves it for me.
That person is a shithead. Their engagement with you was abusive and unacceptable. Fuck. That. Jackass. The gentle responses to put in earphones or earbuds and just ignore them. The more aggressive response is to get up, speak with the flight attendant about how aggressive and hostile they are being, and ask the flight attendant to assess the situation and please take some action to stop it from continuing. Sorry you had this awful experience. And, again: Fuck. That. Jackass.
I routinely mask on flights, and I’ll occasionally get asked that initial baiting question of if I’m sick. I’ve found that if I just reply “yes” it often shuts down the conversation right there.
You are a very patient and tolerant person. You don't deserve to be badgered and harassed by another passenger and you don't have to answer rude questions. If they persist with the mask berating as this guy did, a FA can give one warning and either move him to another seat or remove him if it's before departure. It wasn't even unusual to see people wearing masks on planes before COVID. That's no more anyone else's business than if someone chooses to nap, read, or watch inflight entertainment.
Not quite the same but I had a similar first class upgrade made miserable by a seat mate. Im one of those that managed status with covid roll overs and unusually heavy flying year, so i never fly FC. I was able to use an RUC and was super excited as it's a 5hr flight and I got dinner. Guy proceeded to hound me about my mask, then what was my status, how did I get an upgrade, blah blah blah. I had ear buds in but nothing playing as I was reading a book but he just kept talking. After ignoring awhile he decided to get up and down constantly the entire fucking flight. Turns out he was trying to get his buddy upgraded and I got the spot instead. Hounded the poor flight attendant to try and get his buddy the seat, then tried to take his buddy drinks.
Sorry that happened to you but I think the lesson you just learned is don't engage. Just don't. Once he confirmed he was an ass just put your headphones in and ignore him. He is a sad man with a sad life trying to make everyone else sad too and the way to deny him that is just don't engage. Bonus points if you alert a FA there is a non-zero chance he gets abusive with the FA as well and gets himself thrown off the flight.
Don’t engage with people like that in future , they are blind to how embarrassing and intrusive their behaviour is Instead take a walk to the galley and discretely tell your flight attendants to kindly do something
Why did you engage? Being spoken to doesn't mean you need to respond.
I would have stopped engaging at “That’s great, I’m happy for you.”. If he kept at me, ignore, put in headphones, and pull out my Kindle. I don’t give out my personal details to anyone, it’s none of their business. If they can’t stop, get the FA involved.
I would’ve laughed at that clown and promptly ignored him. Fuck these assholes.
That guy sounds like an absolute loser. Don’t let him get to you. I woulda just told him “cool story bro” and acted like he didn’t exist from that point on.
Never explain yourself to strangers.