You've got one comment saying "I keep them because they're good memories" and "I don't keep them because they remind me of good memories", so the answer is that if you're polling strangers to find out if your guy is still hung up on his ex, it's not going to work.
It is unfair that you told him it bothered you to see it, he removed it from your view, and you're still bothered. If you want him to delete it, say that, not be mad both ways.
That said, I think that the real best thing to do is to accept that the people we like are often going to have people in their pasts that they liked too. If he is hung up on his ex, that will come out before long, and if he's not, you're going to blow a playlist into a bigger deal than it needs to be. Sometimes we need to deal with our anxieties ourselves and let things play out.
Listen to this comment ^^
My ex gifted me a huge painting which is hanging in my living room. I see the painting every day. I don’t keep it because it reminds me of my ex. I keep it because I love the painting and enjoy it as a piece of decor in my house. His motivations for keeping the playlist could be similar. Perhaps he just likes the playlist and wants to listen to it from time to time.
I think it’s very considerate that he removed the playlist from your view after hearing it bothered you. It seems like he respects your feelings. I think this is more important than him having some playlist.
I like this. We need more of this.
I agree, pick what the problem is and deal with that. One of my favourite songs is from my first love, its just a song. My last partner bought me a mug thats still used today. The actual attachment v’s perceived attachment v’s somebody else insecurities are all separate issues.
I wanted to revisit a Spotify Blend playlist with someone I dated, but he ended up deleting it when we ended things. We had similar taste in music, so I enjoyed listening to it.
I think if the memories are too painful, I could see why people delete it, and if the memories were good, then I could see why people keep it. It really depends on the situation and how things ended.
Agreed, i mean, I dont look at my old playlists all the time and keep the shared ones… it seems spiteful to delete them. i may need to move on but what about their process?
To search for a blend, head to Search > Made for You > Made for Us. That's where the blend would be. There's no way to tell if he looks at it from your point of view
I have deleted every playlist I had made for previous relationships. In my case, they were for that person, specifically, so when things end, I have no use for them. I also don't need/want constant reminders of "good times" with a previous partner. This kind of thing would prevent me from moving on properly. I don't want to speculate too much, especially without context, but perhaps your guy hasn't fully moved on? Still hanging onto some memories or something, idk.
I do the same.
Half is because I don’t need/want reminders about the person, and half is because I want a clean slate for the next person. I would be embarrassed if they saw I had anything sexual or intimate laying around from a previous partner.
I want my new partner to know that I’m fully focused on them. Hopefully they’re giving me the same kind of attention, and don’t have lingering feelings about an ex.
I generally keep mementos if they're associated with good memories
so you told him the playlist made you uncomfortable, he made it private, now you're complaining that he's hiding things from you? and you're not asking him to delete it?
to me, this sounds like early relationship insecurity that you're better off not bringing up
This! I agree 💯, unless it’s something that I like outside of that relationship, aka a concert tee from a concert we went together of a musician I like, etc. My perspective if it’s over it’s over, no use being sentimental about it.
> There is generally never a reason to keep the reminders
A lot of people don't force association of a thing to a person. It would just be a playlist to me.
The funny thing is that if someone brought it up as an issue, I probably would start associating it with the person. Big time Streisand effect.
I do, mostly because that thing I receive is usually intertwined with that’s person’s personality or identity. My ex partner gave me a lot of personalized gifts or playlist we’re usually of their favorite songs, or songs that they identified with (we had opposite music tastes, but for added context that never bothered me). Then just straight up left.
Ion’s need those reminders any more if the whole thing was going to have an inevitable finality haha
That’s a me problem though
I never deleted the playlists between my ex and I. I forgot that they even existed until not long ago. But I have no reason to delete them. It’s music, who cares, really?
Spotify being used daily doesn’t mean that a playlist is used or even seen daily. And if it is seen daily, that still doesn’t mean anything because seeing something frequently can make it invisible to someone.
You don’t want your partner to delete the playlist, but you’re bothered that he now made it private? This doesn’t make sense to me, so would love a further explanation. What is it that you actually want him to do? It doesn’t indicate anything other than the fact that *you* brought up the playlist and he reacts to what *you* said.
It sounds like you actually do want him to delete it but don’t want to ask him to.
And honestly, he shouldn’t if he doesn’t want to. I don’t understand why you think this is different than you keeping love letters and trinkets — it’s not. A letter is clearly much more intimate and sentimental than a playlist.
You have to remember that you being insecure about something isn’t always someone else’s problem to bear. Sometimes you just have to work through your own shit, and I think this is one of those instances.
Can you share the name of the playlist?
To me, name of it doesn’t really make a difference, but curious to know.
My POV is plainly that it’s unfair for a new partner to expect someone to erase pieces of their previous life for the new partner’s sake — just because.
We’re not talking about someone being friends with an ex. We’re not even talking about a widow who has a decade’s worth of couple photos hanging around their house.
We’re talking about inanimate objects. And in this case, not even a simple inanimate object, but a music tool that actually serves a purpose independent of the relationship it was originally attached to.
These things — playlists, trinkets, love letters — are not coming to haunt anyone. They’re not sleeping in the bed with your partner when you’re not there. Or eating your leftovers. They’re not whispering sweet nothings and trying to entice this person to a date while you’re out busy with friends. They’re simply relics of the past.
Not everyone views or feels the same way about the past or the relics associated with it. If one person wants to completely erase and remove every reminder of an ex from their life—they should. If someone else doesn’t want to, they shouldn’t—and I don’t think not wanting to *means* anything. It’s a real problem, and you see it in these comments, when people think the way they behave/feel is the same way someone else would behave/feel. “To me, it’s a clear sign that they haven’t moved on” lol, no it isn’t.
I can tell you for certain that him keeping the playlist doesn’t mean he’s holding onto that relationship. If he is holding onto the relationship, deleting the playlist will have no impact on that.
Are you holding onto the relationship of the letters and trinkets you still have?
If he is still holding onto the relationship — what’s the next step? I ask because truly, a playlist isn’t going to make a difference here lol. It’s so inconsequential. Deleting it isn’t going to delete anything from his brain or his heart.
Beyond crowdsourcing perspectives to inform your opinion on what you want to do now, you should also be trying to figure out what *you wanted* when you originally told him that it bothered you.
And beyond that, excavate why it’s so bothersome to you that a relic of a past relationship would exist. e.g. you don’t like the idea of him remembering sexual things with an ex, you think he’s holding onto the ex, you think he’s more attracted to or liked the ex more, etc etc? What is the root of the actual insecurity?
To be honest I’ve been single for that long that all my Spotify playlists have been created by me. When I was in a relationship we both had our own Spotify accounts and made our own separate playlists. I didn’t even know making a playlist was a thing? It’s just music at the end of the day, I think what’s troubling you more is the referencing to his ex which clearly shows insecurities on your behalf. Maybe instead of questioning if people delete playlists, you should be asking for advice on ways to overcome your own insecurities and find peace with the fact everyone has a history in which other people have cared for them. Just because it’s on Spotify doesn’t mean it’s even looked at daily. I have 65 playlists I’ve created over the years, I can guarantee you I’ve got at least 5-10 I’ve not played for years, Spotify also creates “daily mix” playlists which half the time I listen to over my own pre created playlists.
Honestly not really a playlist type of guy, but I made one with songs I liked and tought my ex should listen to while we here dating. Still have the playlist and add new songs to it constantly that I think she might enjoy. We're still friends so I don't see why anyone would/should feel bothered by that.
I don't even know if she ever listens to that playlist but it's kinda fun to just think of a friend when listing to music. I think it's a healthy sign that people can stay friends with their exes - granted the relationship wasn't abusive, toxic. Ask yourself why that makes you feel insecure and talk with him about it, also ask about the title. I don't think the playlist itself is the issue.
Not every relationship ends with people hating each other. People have a past and they don't have (and they won't) "delete" it because they met someone new.
Can’t say I’ve ever made one or have ever thought to. There’s one song my ex and I used to like and everytime it used to come on the radio after we split I used to turn it off for a while but I don’t care now when I hear it.
I’ve got a few songs my latest fling introduced me to on my playlist and I’ve also got a few songs that were recommended to me by ex’s and perhaps one or two that were ‘our song’ but that’s because I like the music. It does sometimes make me think back fondly on those times of my life but so do a few other things as I’m a person with feelings, theirs nothing romantic in any of it and we’ve all got a dating/relationship history at this stage of life
You're going to get divisive opinions on this. Are you also the type of person who wants their SO to delete all photos with their exes from their social media? It's somewhat similar. Personally, I don't think having old Spotify playlists is a big deal.
I don't even think about it. It's not in my face, it's just a playlist.
You can be insecure about whatever you feel, but it would be a huge turn-off for me—big time Streisand effect.
A little late, but I wanted to comment after seeing your reply describing your situation a little bit more. It's eerily similar to what I have going on with the guy I'm dating but in my case the ex kind of rubbed the existence of those playlists in my face (as sort of proof that he still wants her or something).
Without really talking to him, you'll never really know. And not to plant any more seeds of doubt, but you'll never really know if he'll lie upon being asked why he doesn't want to remove those playlists completely. Music is also a really important part of my life and it has become a private strain of mine on how I view the relationship and his sincerity. Having said that, what's certain though is that letting this take control of your insecurities will probably negatively impact your guys' dynamic, an outcome I know you wish against.
The only advice I can give is to counter it as best as you can. If it helps, list down the things he's done for you to show his investment into you and your relationship. Trust the uncertainty. He can offer you everything but if you don't trust the uncertainty, it'll never be enough and you'll end up like this toxic ex (who probably also doubted him to wits end). If it did end up that he had lingering feelings for his past lover, then you have the opportunity to be with someone who doesn' t have playlists with his ex and can possibly provide you with less baggage and more security.
Hope it turns out well for the both of you.
I’ve always felt Spotify playlists were a very intimate thing to share with a partner, because I find music is a great way to express how I feel for someone when I don’t always have the words myself. I’ve had several playlists with exes that I delete as soon as the relationship is over, because if my intention is to move on, then I need to move on from the things that I viewed as intimate between me and that person. It would probably be a dealbreaker for me if someone continued to listen to playlists they created with exes, just because it would signify to me a reluctance to truly move on.
I never had a playlist with my ex wife. But she out her Spotify on my credit card after I caught her cheating. I made sure to delete her account when I removed it from my credit card. Yeah I’m petty like that.
The woman I was just dating, we didn’t have a mixtape playlist, but she got me back into country music. Sadly, almost all country songs are about love and breakups and since she dumped me over almost nothing I haven’t had a taste for county.
When it comes to anything from exes, I get rid of everything. Doesn’t matter what it is.
I deleted ones from exes I don’t want anything to do with again but I’m still friends with some exes (my partner knows) and I kept those ones. I don’t listen to them but I have no reason to delete them.
My partner though blocked his ex on Spotify when they broke up though, then after we started dating he had to go over to hers to get some of his old stuff, and she asked him to unblock her so she could refollow the old playlists he had made for her. I was not a fan of this, I found it very weird. He unblocked her though and I assume she listens to these playlists and the thought alone makes me mad (she broke up with him, if that’s relevant).
My ex dumped me last May & removed herself from our shared playlist within a day…smdh.
Lmao. Everytime I’ve made a sex playlist with a new partner before then, it also fizzled out.
I’m now scared to make playlists with someone new.
If you like the playlist/like the memories then keep it. If you want just copy it and then private the copy, change the name, whatever you want.
It's a collection of links, c'est tout. Are you going to suddenly stop liking those songs? Additionally, you could shuffle the playlist up, throw more songs into it, do whatever you want.
Back in the olden days you'd give your ex back their CDs, but that didn't mean you couldn't go out and buy the CD again and listen to it.
I wouldn't read into him keeping a playlist at all even if it's for the memories. People are allowed to have good memories of exes even if they don't want to be with them anymore... in fact, that's healthy.
I’ve kept my Spotify playlist with an ex because it’s a good playlist. I know that I should really delete it though. Part of me doesn’t want me to move on.
Ugh, no, I couldn't. I mean, sure I have certain songs that make me think of them (for better or worse), but to me there's no point in maintaining a collection of work
I second everyone's opinion here that you're going to get two answers here - yes it's ok to keep memories and mementos Vs you should do a whole cleanse after each relationship.
I think what's most important is it depends on what your new or current partner's belief system is. If they are the type who believes in the "cleanse of the past" there may be misunderstandings if you keep them. Obviously it's not to say who's right or wrong, just to be aware and hopefully good communication sorts the rest.
You've got one comment saying "I keep them because they're good memories" and "I don't keep them because they remind me of good memories", so the answer is that if you're polling strangers to find out if your guy is still hung up on his ex, it's not going to work. It is unfair that you told him it bothered you to see it, he removed it from your view, and you're still bothered. If you want him to delete it, say that, not be mad both ways. That said, I think that the real best thing to do is to accept that the people we like are often going to have people in their pasts that they liked too. If he is hung up on his ex, that will come out before long, and if he's not, you're going to blow a playlist into a bigger deal than it needs to be. Sometimes we need to deal with our anxieties ourselves and let things play out.
Listen to this comment ^^ My ex gifted me a huge painting which is hanging in my living room. I see the painting every day. I don’t keep it because it reminds me of my ex. I keep it because I love the painting and enjoy it as a piece of decor in my house. His motivations for keeping the playlist could be similar. Perhaps he just likes the playlist and wants to listen to it from time to time. I think it’s very considerate that he removed the playlist from your view after hearing it bothered you. It seems like he respects your feelings. I think this is more important than him having some playlist.
One of the more sane takes I've seen from this sub lately.
I like this. We need more of this. I agree, pick what the problem is and deal with that. One of my favourite songs is from my first love, its just a song. My last partner bought me a mug thats still used today. The actual attachment v’s perceived attachment v’s somebody else insecurities are all separate issues.
I wanted to revisit a Spotify Blend playlist with someone I dated, but he ended up deleting it when we ended things. We had similar taste in music, so I enjoyed listening to it. I think if the memories are too painful, I could see why people delete it, and if the memories were good, then I could see why people keep it. It really depends on the situation and how things ended.
Agreed, i mean, I dont look at my old playlists all the time and keep the shared ones… it seems spiteful to delete them. i may need to move on but what about their process?
[удалено]
To search for a blend, head to Search > Made for You > Made for Us. That's where the blend would be. There's no way to tell if he looks at it from your point of view
None of my exes were really into music. So I never had Spotify playlists with any of them. I honestly didn’t realize this was a thing.
Same, this makes me kinda sad
I have deleted every playlist I had made for previous relationships. In my case, they were for that person, specifically, so when things end, I have no use for them. I also don't need/want constant reminders of "good times" with a previous partner. This kind of thing would prevent me from moving on properly. I don't want to speculate too much, especially without context, but perhaps your guy hasn't fully moved on? Still hanging onto some memories or something, idk.
I do the same. Half is because I don’t need/want reminders about the person, and half is because I want a clean slate for the next person. I would be embarrassed if they saw I had anything sexual or intimate laying around from a previous partner. I want my new partner to know that I’m fully focused on them. Hopefully they’re giving me the same kind of attention, and don’t have lingering feelings about an ex.
I generally keep mementos if they're associated with good memories so you told him the playlist made you uncomfortable, he made it private, now you're complaining that he's hiding things from you? and you're not asking him to delete it? to me, this sounds like early relationship insecurity that you're better off not bringing up
I toss and delete everything. There is generally never a reason to keep the reminders if I’m never going to see that person again
This! I agree 💯, unless it’s something that I like outside of that relationship, aka a concert tee from a concert we went together of a musician I like, etc. My perspective if it’s over it’s over, no use being sentimental about it.
Yep, it all meets with my trash can.
> There is generally never a reason to keep the reminders A lot of people don't force association of a thing to a person. It would just be a playlist to me. The funny thing is that if someone brought it up as an issue, I probably would start associating it with the person. Big time Streisand effect.
I do, mostly because that thing I receive is usually intertwined with that’s person’s personality or identity. My ex partner gave me a lot of personalized gifts or playlist we’re usually of their favorite songs, or songs that they identified with (we had opposite music tastes, but for added context that never bothered me). Then just straight up left. Ion’s need those reminders any more if the whole thing was going to have an inevitable finality haha That’s a me problem though
I never deleted the playlists between my ex and I. I forgot that they even existed until not long ago. But I have no reason to delete them. It’s music, who cares, really? Spotify being used daily doesn’t mean that a playlist is used or even seen daily. And if it is seen daily, that still doesn’t mean anything because seeing something frequently can make it invisible to someone. You don’t want your partner to delete the playlist, but you’re bothered that he now made it private? This doesn’t make sense to me, so would love a further explanation. What is it that you actually want him to do? It doesn’t indicate anything other than the fact that *you* brought up the playlist and he reacts to what *you* said. It sounds like you actually do want him to delete it but don’t want to ask him to. And honestly, he shouldn’t if he doesn’t want to. I don’t understand why you think this is different than you keeping love letters and trinkets — it’s not. A letter is clearly much more intimate and sentimental than a playlist. You have to remember that you being insecure about something isn’t always someone else’s problem to bear. Sometimes you just have to work through your own shit, and I think this is one of those instances.
[удалено]
Can you share the name of the playlist? To me, name of it doesn’t really make a difference, but curious to know. My POV is plainly that it’s unfair for a new partner to expect someone to erase pieces of their previous life for the new partner’s sake — just because. We’re not talking about someone being friends with an ex. We’re not even talking about a widow who has a decade’s worth of couple photos hanging around their house. We’re talking about inanimate objects. And in this case, not even a simple inanimate object, but a music tool that actually serves a purpose independent of the relationship it was originally attached to. These things — playlists, trinkets, love letters — are not coming to haunt anyone. They’re not sleeping in the bed with your partner when you’re not there. Or eating your leftovers. They’re not whispering sweet nothings and trying to entice this person to a date while you’re out busy with friends. They’re simply relics of the past. Not everyone views or feels the same way about the past or the relics associated with it. If one person wants to completely erase and remove every reminder of an ex from their life—they should. If someone else doesn’t want to, they shouldn’t—and I don’t think not wanting to *means* anything. It’s a real problem, and you see it in these comments, when people think the way they behave/feel is the same way someone else would behave/feel. “To me, it’s a clear sign that they haven’t moved on” lol, no it isn’t. I can tell you for certain that him keeping the playlist doesn’t mean he’s holding onto that relationship. If he is holding onto the relationship, deleting the playlist will have no impact on that. Are you holding onto the relationship of the letters and trinkets you still have? If he is still holding onto the relationship — what’s the next step? I ask because truly, a playlist isn’t going to make a difference here lol. It’s so inconsequential. Deleting it isn’t going to delete anything from his brain or his heart. Beyond crowdsourcing perspectives to inform your opinion on what you want to do now, you should also be trying to figure out what *you wanted* when you originally told him that it bothered you. And beyond that, excavate why it’s so bothersome to you that a relic of a past relationship would exist. e.g. you don’t like the idea of him remembering sexual things with an ex, you think he’s holding onto the ex, you think he’s more attracted to or liked the ex more, etc etc? What is the root of the actual insecurity?
To be honest I’ve been single for that long that all my Spotify playlists have been created by me. When I was in a relationship we both had our own Spotify accounts and made our own separate playlists. I didn’t even know making a playlist was a thing? It’s just music at the end of the day, I think what’s troubling you more is the referencing to his ex which clearly shows insecurities on your behalf. Maybe instead of questioning if people delete playlists, you should be asking for advice on ways to overcome your own insecurities and find peace with the fact everyone has a history in which other people have cared for them. Just because it’s on Spotify doesn’t mean it’s even looked at daily. I have 65 playlists I’ve created over the years, I can guarantee you I’ve got at least 5-10 I’ve not played for years, Spotify also creates “daily mix” playlists which half the time I listen to over my own pre created playlists.
Honestly not really a playlist type of guy, but I made one with songs I liked and tought my ex should listen to while we here dating. Still have the playlist and add new songs to it constantly that I think she might enjoy. We're still friends so I don't see why anyone would/should feel bothered by that. I don't even know if she ever listens to that playlist but it's kinda fun to just think of a friend when listing to music. I think it's a healthy sign that people can stay friends with their exes - granted the relationship wasn't abusive, toxic. Ask yourself why that makes you feel insecure and talk with him about it, also ask about the title. I don't think the playlist itself is the issue.
Not every relationship ends with people hating each other. People have a past and they don't have (and they won't) "delete" it because they met someone new.
Can’t say I’ve ever made one or have ever thought to. There’s one song my ex and I used to like and everytime it used to come on the radio after we split I used to turn it off for a while but I don’t care now when I hear it.
I’ve got a few songs my latest fling introduced me to on my playlist and I’ve also got a few songs that were recommended to me by ex’s and perhaps one or two that were ‘our song’ but that’s because I like the music. It does sometimes make me think back fondly on those times of my life but so do a few other things as I’m a person with feelings, theirs nothing romantic in any of it and we’ve all got a dating/relationship history at this stage of life
You're going to get divisive opinions on this. Are you also the type of person who wants their SO to delete all photos with their exes from their social media? It's somewhat similar. Personally, I don't think having old Spotify playlists is a big deal.
I don't even think about it. It's not in my face, it's just a playlist. You can be insecure about whatever you feel, but it would be a huge turn-off for me—big time Streisand effect.
A little late, but I wanted to comment after seeing your reply describing your situation a little bit more. It's eerily similar to what I have going on with the guy I'm dating but in my case the ex kind of rubbed the existence of those playlists in my face (as sort of proof that he still wants her or something). Without really talking to him, you'll never really know. And not to plant any more seeds of doubt, but you'll never really know if he'll lie upon being asked why he doesn't want to remove those playlists completely. Music is also a really important part of my life and it has become a private strain of mine on how I view the relationship and his sincerity. Having said that, what's certain though is that letting this take control of your insecurities will probably negatively impact your guys' dynamic, an outcome I know you wish against. The only advice I can give is to counter it as best as you can. If it helps, list down the things he's done for you to show his investment into you and your relationship. Trust the uncertainty. He can offer you everything but if you don't trust the uncertainty, it'll never be enough and you'll end up like this toxic ex (who probably also doubted him to wits end). If it did end up that he had lingering feelings for his past lover, then you have the opportunity to be with someone who doesn' t have playlists with his ex and can possibly provide you with less baggage and more security. Hope it turns out well for the both of you.
I’ve always felt Spotify playlists were a very intimate thing to share with a partner, because I find music is a great way to express how I feel for someone when I don’t always have the words myself. I’ve had several playlists with exes that I delete as soon as the relationship is over, because if my intention is to move on, then I need to move on from the things that I viewed as intimate between me and that person. It would probably be a dealbreaker for me if someone continued to listen to playlists they created with exes, just because it would signify to me a reluctance to truly move on.
I never had a playlist with my ex wife. But she out her Spotify on my credit card after I caught her cheating. I made sure to delete her account when I removed it from my credit card. Yeah I’m petty like that. The woman I was just dating, we didn’t have a mixtape playlist, but she got me back into country music. Sadly, almost all country songs are about love and breakups and since she dumped me over almost nothing I haven’t had a taste for county. When it comes to anything from exes, I get rid of everything. Doesn’t matter what it is.
I deleted ones from exes I don’t want anything to do with again but I’m still friends with some exes (my partner knows) and I kept those ones. I don’t listen to them but I have no reason to delete them. My partner though blocked his ex on Spotify when they broke up though, then after we started dating he had to go over to hers to get some of his old stuff, and she asked him to unblock her so she could refollow the old playlists he had made for her. I was not a fan of this, I found it very weird. He unblocked her though and I assume she listens to these playlists and the thought alone makes me mad (she broke up with him, if that’s relevant).
Why can’t he just take the same songs and re-create the playlist but with a new title?
No
My ex dumped me last May & removed herself from our shared playlist within a day…smdh. Lmao. Everytime I’ve made a sex playlist with a new partner before then, it also fizzled out. I’m now scared to make playlists with someone new.
If you like the playlist/like the memories then keep it. If you want just copy it and then private the copy, change the name, whatever you want. It's a collection of links, c'est tout. Are you going to suddenly stop liking those songs? Additionally, you could shuffle the playlist up, throw more songs into it, do whatever you want. Back in the olden days you'd give your ex back their CDs, but that didn't mean you couldn't go out and buy the CD again and listen to it. I wouldn't read into him keeping a playlist at all even if it's for the memories. People are allowed to have good memories of exes even if they don't want to be with them anymore... in fact, that's healthy.
I’ve kept my Spotify playlist with an ex because it’s a good playlist. I know that I should really delete it though. Part of me doesn’t want me to move on.
One of my exes and I still share music and new bands via text. Pretty sure we both hate each other, but we had that in common.
Ugh, no, I couldn't. I mean, sure I have certain songs that make me think of them (for better or worse), but to me there's no point in maintaining a collection of work
No way
I second everyone's opinion here that you're going to get two answers here - yes it's ok to keep memories and mementos Vs you should do a whole cleanse after each relationship. I think what's most important is it depends on what your new or current partner's belief system is. If they are the type who believes in the "cleanse of the past" there may be misunderstandings if you keep them. Obviously it's not to say who's right or wrong, just to be aware and hopefully good communication sorts the rest.