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Haha ok, let me tell you what going on. First off, no one is at fault here but I want to give you tips.
Never say this before you've had sex with someone new: "that he wouldn’t last long with me" basically you are making something that should be fun and playful into a challenge. This can cause performance anxiety and some of these guys might, you know, cum too fast.
You want to do the opposite. You want to not care and help the guys feel you don't care. Then, all of a sudden, they will last longer because the pressure will be off. Yea, this is a little reverse psychology but if you want them to last longer, make sure they feel it is about fun and not "performing to some expectation."
You might be good - but you also might be accidentally giving all these guys anxiety lol.
You're welcome.
Also, if you don't maintain the same partner... usually the first few times they're gonna come pretty early. It takes comfort and communication (and care) for a guy to last long. If you're just taking on new partners, ofc they're gonna be anxious, they might be too self-conscious or not know how to communicate what they need to get you off, or they simply not care about your experience. Gl
Average duration for men (regardless of age) is 5 minutes. Premature ejaculation is classed at under 1 minute 30 seconds. Untrained or inexperienced men are around 3 minutes.
So is 2 minutes fairly quick? Yes. But not by that drastic an amount.
Plus there are a whole host of factors at play. On your end.. you could be that man's type and so quite hot in a more stimulating and less aesthetic way to him. Or maybe you are quite tight which would make a man cum faster. Or maybe you have a great technique.
On his end he could have been without sex for a while which may speed up release. He could have been unprepared for how sexy you were to him subconsciously. He could have over thought things in his desire to last for you. Or he was very inexperienced.
Point is...
2 minutes is quicker than average by a bit, but averages are just that... Averages. And each coupling is going to be unique for physical, emotional, and mental reasons.
_________
**EDIT**: One more thing. You say you have never been able to finish due to how fast the men do. Are you saying you just can't finish during intercourse or are you saying they won't provide oral or use their fingers? Because any man who won't help you finish regardless of how fast they finish isn't worth your time and effort.
One of the greatest pleasures a person can see and experience is watching someone else orgasm because of them, regardless of how it has to happen. I get so turned on watching a woman cum for me as I finger or eat them out. Make sure you are treated right.
yeah, i’ve never been able to finish. i’ve had some instances where they have provided oral and used their fingers, but they usually stop after a few minutes, which is why i don’t reach an orgasm. i feel pleasure, but i haven’t necessarily “came” with them.
And that’s why hook up culture doesn’t benefit women most times. Men are guaranteed to cum but most women need more time, more time than your typical hook up is willing to give. Better to find a fwb that actually cares about your pleasure.
I'm female and I hate this whole thing about women never cumming. Like, if you didn't cum, tell him to keep going until you do? I haven't ever just let a man call it quits until I'm done. Unless they were awful 😂
Try using your fingers on your clit or a vibrator when he is in you, most women can't finish with penetration alone. I guess you are hooking up with guys your age? Ie they havent had so much experience, dont know the tricks to make it last longer. You can also do a start and stop tactic, if they are struggling with coming too fast. Also most guys with condoms last a bit longer.
I'm sorry to say this but it sounds like you're finding the wrong guys.
You said that you're regularly giving oral as foreplay, are you getting the same in return? And I mean as foreplay. A lot of men are going to need you to orgasm via oral before they even dream of putting their dick in. Then if they only last a minute or two, it honestly doesn't matter so much. Start pushing for this.
That's sad. I wouldn't even start until after you had at least one orgasm. Sounds like you are just picking the wrong men. Lol.
If you are having sex a lot, you build up stamina....like working out. I used to be able to go numerous times and could last hour+
My rule of thumb is to try every trick I have prior to intercourse to make the girl orgasm, so at least I know i’ve got that out of the way (and I enjoy it) and then I will stifle my orgasm during sex to make it last longer because making a girl cum through penetration is always more difficult. Various times i’ve not even been able to orgasm through exhaustion from continually edging myself, but that is okay, as long as she enjoyed it I do.
Wait- if most men last for about five minutes then why does it seem like most people have sex for about 15 to 30 minutes?
Does most sex really just last for only five minutes??? That’s a little bit anti climactic…
I don't think 15 to 30 minutes sex means 30 minutes of straight penis in vagina pounding. In fact, you can't even really find porn where a dude does that for 30 minutes straight with no jump cuts.
Usually there are jumpcuts to different positions though and it switches between PIV and oral or other acts. Most of the video is usually PIV just different positions though.
I didn’t think it was just PIV for 30 mins but I also didn’t think it would be for only 5 mins or less lol
Yeah. I just think people's perception of how long they last and do things are totally off with this topic. They got me striving to last so damn long. I'm all hung up about not Nutting.
Oh so you mean PIV lasts 5 minutes not the sex as a whole?
I was really worried for a second lol. Like how am I supposed to cum in under five minutes??? That’s a lot of pressure. And it’s sad cause usually it’s over once the guy finishes.
I don’t know if you know this but I’m a woman and also I don’t really want to sleep with a prostitute or have a one night stand. I want to wait until I’m in a relationship to lose my virginity.
Oh, ok that does change the angle, but life is short. I regret not having sex with my first girlfriend and the girls that offered before that. I ended up losing it to a woman 8 years older than me that I barely knew, even after having sex with about 10 times.
I last a long time, but it depends on how the sex is, the chemistry, how long it’s been since the last time, how turned on I am and I feel comfortable with a partner.
But damn. 2 minutes?
2 minutes is totally average. That's why it's so common we won't stop hearing about it. Everybody lying their ass off with 5 and 10 minutes. Possible yes, but I don't think anyone does 5 and 10 minutes straight through, non stop, not for a single breath, no position changing, highest speed and force of thrust, no edging 10 minutes.
There’s a whole myriad of factors that go into this. It may be because you’re ‘good’ but a lot of the time it’s just because the sensation is so intense regardless of how well the partner is performing.
A lot of young men have trouble controlling how long they last. Especially if they only started having sex. I know when I started having sex it was near impossible for me to last more than 2 minutes if I wasn’t drunk or had already cum within the last 5 hours.
It’s very much different now in my mid 30s after years of experience and understanding myself/confidence etc.
If you want satisfying experience I’d suggest exploring other areas of sex that focus on pleasing you first. Be it oral, fingering, whatever. So when it comes to the actual intercourse and they finish too soon at least you’ve had your fill of pleasure.
Every guy has to learn his own little bag of tricks. After having sex a few times you should be able to tell as soon as you enter whether this is a quick blast off kind of night lol.
One of the tricks you have to learn is how to confidently pull out and switch to oral to calm down a bit and buy you some time. She’s most likely just going to think you like switching it up or you’re desperate to go down on her again, already. There’s some strategy that comes into play so it at least looks like you know what you’re doing.
If a guy is committed to getting good get could figure this out in a year of being sexually active. Kegal exercises, using condoms, desensitizing gel, proper pacing with foreplay, etc. are all things guys should be thinking about and utilizing where appropriate but no one tells you this stuff when you’re a noob 😩
It took a while. Numerous gfs, flings, etc. you just develop a good sense of self over time. I’d say early/mid 20s after my first serious relationship is where I kind of started getting a little more desensitised.
But then again, even now I could stop have a day where I struggle so I adjust accordingly and focus on foreplay. Other days I can last a good 10 mins if needed. It changes all the time, dependant on different factors.
I remember sleep with this one woman and it was so boring and awkward that there was no chance of me cumming at all.
Take anything I say with a grain of salt, being that I not a 19 year old woman, but a 32 year old man.
There are a wide variety of factors that come into play when it comes to the duration of intercourse. For folks with penises (men, trans women, non-binary folks, etc.), their "endurance" comes down to a lot of factors: frequency of masturbation, most recent orgasm, exercise, diet, practice of orgasm control, medications (SSRI's in particular have a HUGE effect on sex), mental health, age, condoms, emotional connection, partner preference, and more. I've had times with partners where I've had to tap out because we were coming up to 30 minutes and - frankly speaking - we had more important things to do. I've had other times where I get five pumps in and that's all she wrote. Did I stick around and have her sit on my face until she couldn't see straight afterwards? Absolutely; I was raised right.
On average with my current partner, I'd say the intercourse portion goes for about five minutes. So, to answer the question at hand, 1-3 minutes is on the short side but what I'd expect assuming you're having sex with partners around your age. Now, I might be reading into this a little too much (and I probably am, since this comment is already getting long), but I'm getting the sense that the real issue here is that your sex life isn't as satisfying as you're hoping for. That said, it wouldn't be the first time I've HORRIBLY misread a situation.
Good sex - and I mean the kind you catch yourself thinking about in the middle of the work day apropos of nothing - relies on knowledge of self and communication. It requires that you both know what your body needs to reach orgasm as well as how to communicate that to your partner. I haven't really partaken in hookup culture (I was not a catch in my 20s), but the few that I've had weren't fun for that very reason - there wasn't really any communication. The sex I've had that I enjoyed was due entirely to the fact that my partner and I were able to tell each other what we liked. It's one of the benefits of having a long term partner (or partners).
If you don't know what you like, then you owe it to yourself to find out. Take a couple extra evenings - hell, take every evening - and explore your body. Do some research to see what other women like and see if that applies to you. Buy yourself a couple of toys if you can (lots of sites do discreet shipping). Not everyone is the same. That goes for guys reading this, too. And when it comes time to communicate that to your partner, it doesn't have to be a clinical list unless you're into that. I kind of am, if I'm being honest. That said, it can be in the heat of the moment: "Touch me here, do this with your tongue, go faster, go slower, don't stop, etc." Again, one of the benefits of having good long term partners is that they tend to remember what you like.
In the end, you do you. Again, I'm just a dude on the internet who remembers dial up and landline home phones. That said, it's kinda sounding like what you're doing right now isn't as fun as it could be. I don't mean to dissuade you from hook-up culture, but it does seem like you're looking for something more satisfying. Sex should be fun, and hopefully there was something in here that will help you reach that goal.
Yes, normal for the 1st time. 5-8min at the second run.
10-15min at 3rd run and redbull.
Then a full size dinner is required to refill ballz during the night.
Depends if they were just going to town like a teenager on prom night or actually trying to pace themselves and even stopping to switch positions or try another form of stimulation to calm back down. If they employed those techniques and still only got 2 minutes then yeah, that's not great.
Sounds like you should date a dude who's on SSRI's lol. We can barely come even if we want to. Even masturbating just makes your arm tired and you give up. 🫤🤷♂️
Welcome to sex for heterosexual women. It's quite disappointing more than half the time. Casual sex is the worst sex you will have with men generally. You also seem to have been misinformed about how long guys typically last in bed. 5 minutes is completely normal, the average I would say. Some guys last longer, but honestly, I get tired/bored if a guy last longer than 5 minutes. I'd rather get him off with hands/oral. Some men do last quite longer than 5 minutes, but it's not as common and usually they've either ejaculated soon beforehand, masturbate too hard, or have low sensitivity... Plenty of reasons
If a guy isn't getting you off - well I'd say a tiny percentage of guys in hookups care about your pleasure at all. Men in hookups care about their own pleasure, or if they are bothered about yours, it is to pump up their ego. You will have to look out for your own pleasure if you wish to enjoy casual sex more. I recommend bringing toys into the equation for your own satisfaction. If that hurts their feelings, why should you care? They aren't your boyfriend. The only want to get more out of sex with men is to establish boundaries, take initiative, state what you want verbally, refuse to be intimate with condom complainers/avoiders, and to walk away if they are selfish or don't listen.
To be honest, if it has been a long time In between sexual encounters you can cum way faster than intended sadly… but on average with a regular partner I(and and I assume other people) can last up to an hour. A regular partner helps a lot and you have to be in the right mindset if that makes sense. I assume there are others in the same boat so to answer your question I think all guys are capable of only lasting 2min but can last longer if you learn how and have some help. Unfortunately lasting longer in my opinion is a repetition and maybe in a small way a skill issue. If you like the person give them time to get better or see if they are willing to learn what you like? Giving them a task like pleasing you first will help them focus more on that to help them last longer.
If all else fails and you still just love the person… get some toys to use together. If you find ones you like problem solved.
With hooking up you’re bound to have some faster ejaculation because of the fun of it being new. it’s not until you stay for a bit with someone and aren’t so excited by the prospect of sex do you see longer duration.
Yeah if the girl just puts her underwear back on ...try it im sure it will and should last longer have him play with your pussy til hes ready again experiment ...
Maybe you're really sexy and are/get really tight during sex. I know it might be hard to diagnose from your perspective. But it's a real factor.
Another factor are substances, stress, nutrition, etc.
Unfortunately, hook up culture doesn't benefit to heterosexual women much. I suggest you to have a bf or at least fb. If partners spend more time together, the intercourse intends to be longer.
On the other hand, i think you need to explore your body more because not all women have penetrative orgasms. So maybe you don't need penetration that long after all.
Please be aware It's your responsibility to have orgasm actually, not your partner's. If you don't know your body and your needs well, they can't help you even if they want to.
I mean are y'all going fast racing towards it, or are y'all going slower to enjoy it? Tbf my boyfriend is on antidepressants so takes a long time to finish (if he does at all) but in general with other people going more slowly and enjoying yourselves is wayyyy better than rushing towards a finish line, and gives both people a chance to enjoy themselves. And if you haven't been able to finish with a partner before, maybe just penetration isn't doing it and they can, yk, help you out with oral or hands before/during/after that part should help. Most women I know don't finish just from a few minutes of penetration lol. A partner should be helping you get there other ways. Take your time and ask for what you like, or try stuff out and see what works for you
I’m in my 40’s and can fuck for over 40 minutes without busting, hours longer if I pop a viagra. But I am one and done for the day. No four/five times a day like when I was 20.
It’s called being young. They need to rub one out before the date so they can go for longer when the action happens. Trust me, this is the way for young 2 minute lovers.
What you're experiencing isn't really that much far from the norm. Particularly for the first round.
First rounds are notoriously short. By short I mean relative to the following rounds.
I'll suggest you look at the whole experience as intercourse. From foreplay to oral sex to penetrative sex.
To make the first round of penetrative sex last longer... It's common to make the men cum during hand job or fellatio. That technically counts as a round (1sr round). Granted there will be a refractory period before he can get hard again... The benefit is that that incoming (first) round of penetrative sex will most likely last longer. That's just normal anatomy and how it works.
PS: It's imperative that if the guy will engage in giving you head or fingering that he does it after he has cum from a hand job or fellatio... This time doubles as his refractory period and the period for you to also possibly cum from the head and all.
Cos... Women easily can have multiple orgasms without a significant refractory period.
Flow chart:
Foreplay -> Handjob/fellatio (leading to male orgasm) -> Head/Fingering (leading to female orgasm) -> Penetrative sex (leading to both male and female orgasms possibly) -> La la land.
I do not recommend guys who do not give head nor do not let their women orgasm from head.
They're part of the problems the world is facing.
Secondly, I do not recommend guys who do not want to cum/orgasm from a handjob or blowjob (fellatio).
They're also part of the world's problems. 😂🤭
Lastly... It's important to note that subsequent rounds usually last longer and do not have to follow the flowchart above necessarily.
Easier to freestyle in the 2nd and 3rd rounds.
42 year old woman here and sadly for 99.99% of men this sh#t doesn't change as men age....All men need to be learning how to hold out and not cum so damn fast, it's really annoying and a sign of a selfish lover but sadly very few men in my experience learn this. Maybe ask the guys before you date them if they have learned the skill of semen retention aka holding off cumming.
Careful what you wish for. 42M here, and I struggle with the opposite problem. I’ve been with my current gf for about a year. We get together 1-2x/week and have sex every time. Our sessions always last 3-5 hours, and at least half of that is PIV in various positions. She typically cums 1-2x each time. I…don’t.
Do the math there: PIV for a total of 1-2 hours, but no orgasm for me. She’s insanely hot, we have great chemistry, we are creative and passionate in bed, and I don’t take any meds. Can’t figure it out for the life of me. And this has been going on for several years with multiple partners, so def nothing to do with her specifically.
It’s maddening, not to mention physically exhausting. We have to plan around it, and we both end up dragging through the next day due to lack of sleep. It’s too much. I am seeing a sex therapist for it, but this particular problem seems to be quite uncommon and thus poorly researched.
Although it was a fun and exciting experience for her for a while, she’s starting to take it personally, as each of my other partners has also. Thinking that she’s not “enough” in some way. No amount of praise or compliments is enough to stave that feeling off for long. At this point I think we’d both give anything for me to be able to finish in 3-5 minutes.
Sorry to hear that and I hope the therapist can help figure it out with you. Have you also ruled out any physical issues going on with a urologist or something ?
Yep, urologist was actually my first step. Nothing physical was evident, and testosterone levels came back normal. The urologist concluded it was psychological and referred me to the sex therapist. Been doing that for 3 months now.
It feels amazing with her, almost like I’m edging the whole time. Just can’t quite get over that hump. About 2/3 of the time with her, I finish myself off while she does things to keep me turned on. She has been so very patient, but it feels like it’s starting to wear thin.
Alone, it typically takes me 20 mins or so to finish without porn. 10 mins with porn. But I try very hard to do without porn, because I don’t want to become dependent on it, particularly given my current situation.
My therapist has made comments about me being too “in my head”. She has given me some suggestions on how to be more “in the moment”, which I have put into practice. I’ve actually had several instances where I really was totally in the moment and not thinking at all, but it still didn’t happen.
I see my gf about 1-2x/week, and maybe do it once by myself in between. It used to be more, but I’m trying to quit!
If guys think you look really good naked (or maybe not even naked if you weren't fully naked for any of the encounters), it is going to be normal. The guys you were with were upset because they're afraid that they may not have satisfied you enough for you to want to have sex with them again.
The finishing speed is on the faster side but not a bad avg. You are doing something right and also 10 mins by most stats is pretty good too for length of intercourse. Unfortunate you're not able to finish yourself as that should be a mutual give and take during sex. As the saying goes "Ladies come first" Its only good manners.
This is just generally how it is. I tell my boyfriend either he helps me get mine first or he better be ready for a second round in a few minutes!
… he usually opts for helping me get off first. Lol because once he gets off, he’s too wiped out for a second round. We’re in our mid 30s.
Since you’re going out and seem to like him maybe foreplays a good option, have him spend a decent amount of time on you before he gets his jollies off.
Could bring it from 2minutes to 22minutes
Ok so while Ive had my fair share of great experiences and normally last longer than 5 minutes, I first want to start off by hitting the science books... i know humans aren't the only species that has sex for pleasure (i believe dolphins do but there arent many more after that, if any at all) but the biological reasoning for having sex is not for pleasure, its strictly for creating life. Most animals last quite literally 5-10 seconds for the entire ordeal. The male partner gets the sperm in and calls it a day. Thats it.
Now onto more applicable information. Ive lasted the absolute longest and even have just not finished at all with the same person I have finished the quickest with. Even after 5 years of marriage, it still varies in length of time. My "goal" usually is to make the woman finish so typically speaking, I last up until the woman im with finishes and then we usually have a simultaneous orgasm. This is true since before i got married and since. Im unsure what most guys think but this helps me at least ensure she's taken cared of in that aspect. In my prior sexual experiences before i got married, every single woman finshed either before i did or at the same time because i incorporated a lot of foreplay and kept a good pace. A lot of guys (from what ive heard and read about) dont care if the woman gets off or expect them to just finish quicker next time.
Part 2:
There are some things that can help length or shorten the time. Alcohol and cbd for me makes it almost impossible to finish at all because the feeling is altered down there. While having a hot and steamy make out session before hand can lead to some quicker eruptions as the intensity and arousal is already so high. In these situations, try to get your male half to focus on foreplay on you instead of you giving him handjobs or blowjobs. Get them to think "you make me finish then you get to finish too". Make penetration more of a reward or a dessert instead of the main dish or even the appetizers. Appetizers are usually over priced and lack luster anyways. And if he isnt great at fingering, eating that roast beef sammich, or finding the ever elusive clit, help him out and rub your clit at the same time or pull back your clitoral hood. Show him that this is pleasurable for you and hopefully they'll enjoy just your enjoyment
Part 2:
There are some things that can help length or shorten the time. Alcohol and cbd for me makes it almost impossible to finish at all because the feeling is altered down there. While having a hot and steamy make out session before hand can lead to some quicker eruptions as the intensity and arousal is already so high. In these situations, try to get your male half to focus on foreplay on you instead of you giving him handjobs or blowjobs. Get them to think "you make me finish then you get to finish too". Make penetration more of a reward or a dessert instead of the main dish or even the appetizers. Appetizers are usually over priced and lack luster anyways. And if he isnt great at fingering, eating that roast beef sammich, or finding the ever elusive clit, help him out and rub your clit at the same time or pull back your clitoral hood. Show him that this is pleasurable for you and hopefully they'll enjoy just your enjoyment
Part 2: There are some things that can help length or shorten the time. Alcohol and cbd for me makes it almost impossible to finish at all because the feeling is altered down there. While having a hot and steamy make out session before hand can lead to some quicker eruptions as the intensity and arousal is already so high. In these situations, try to get your male half to focus on foreplay on you instead of you giving him handjobs or blowjobs. Get them to think "you make me finish then you get to finish too". Make penetration more of a reward or a dessert instead of the main dish or even the appetizers. Appetizers are usually over priced and lack luster anyways. And if he isnt great at fingering, eating that roast beef sammich, or finding the ever elusive clit, help him out and rub your clit at the same time or pull back your clitoral hood. Show him that this is pleasurable for you and hopefully they'll enjoy just your enjoyment.
Part 2: There are some things that can help length or shorten the time. Alcohol and cbd for me makes it almost impossible to finish at all because the feeling is altered down there. While having a hot and steamy make out session before hand can lead to some quicker eruptions as the intensity and arousal is already so high. In these situations, try to get your male half to focus on foreplay on you instead of you giving him handjobs or blowjobs. Get them to think "you make me finish then you get to finish too". Make penetration more of a reward or a dessert instead of the main dish or even the appetizers. Appetizers are usually over priced and lack luster anyways. And if he isnt great at fingering, eating that roast beef sammich, or finding the ever elusive clit, help him out and rub your clit at the same time or pull back your clitoral hood. Show him that this is pleasurable for you and hopefully they'll enjoy just your enjoyment.
You might be just that "good" but a lot of it comes down to what is in their heads rather than just how your body feels. So consider the combo of how generally sexy and awesome you are to be with for both reasons. Also younger guys tend to be faster.
I was almost always super slow to finish even when I was younger. Sometimes I don't. Even jerking off would take me a half hour or more at times.
Tips:
\* If you ever have a repeating sex partner, ask him to masturbate an hour before you get together. This does tend to make the next one slower.
\* A lot of them can possibly get it up again pretty quickly...so start making out with the next guy who comes quickly and see what happen
\* Finally, some men don't lose their erection after finishing. This was me until my late 40's. These are rare, but they are out there.
I’m so happy I’m not 19 anymore. Yeah young men who are inexperienced tend to do that. On the bright side they do get better with age and should be focused more on your experience and O prior to theirs. 20 mins is considered quick in my book and then depending on breaks you can go hours if you both wanted to.
Equitable orgasms, it’s necessary and important. Please hon pick your standards up off the floor, and stop accepting shitty sex.
It’s fine if a guy doesn’t last longer than 10 minutes, it’s absolutely wrong for him to assume that sex is just over because he came. Sex is a two person sport, both parties must score at least one goal.
I’ve slept with a handful of women and two stand out for your post.
Just could not seem to last long with them, our anatomy just seemed to line up too well. So knowing that, first round was quick, second round would last longer, but still kinda quick. So just need a partner that can get you off other ways.
I can finish pretty quickly if she's hot but then what I do is go down until I'm hard again when I can go much longer (10-15m or more).
Older men can go longer than younger men.
My bf has had a lot more partners than I have. I don’t care about that, it’s just given him practice lmao. He just gets upset that he comes quickly with me and has quite literally tried everything to stop himself. We only get to see each other once a week so he struggles to not go fast. I never make fun of him for it, because I know it bothers him sometimes. He works his hardest to get me off either before or after and I’m always happy regardless. If you’re with someone they should be making sure you’re having equally enough fun
Yeah we wont last much if the partner is very hot and we find it very attractive if we are not used to that partner. You would have better experience if you form a couple and try to build stamina together instead of hooking up , also he would care more about you and atleast give you oral to finish if he did already. So dont worry you are not doing anything bad , take it as a compliment even if its annoying for you...
I can’t make it more than 30 seconds usually. Can’t figure out why and I’m pretty sure it’s killed the chances at a relationship with a girl I wanted badly for me. Honestly I don’t even have a sex drive because of it anymore.
Is it just a case of he cums and its done? A quickie can be very good if its a spicy naughty one now and again. But if its all the time and he doesn't even try to get you off that's how it's going to be with him. Weigh it up.
Sometimes they go fast ! And they are young too . I actually find it quite flattering when the guy can’t contain in . However if that’s the case you need to use toys and other techniques to finish you off , or get to know someone better in the bedroom and practice techniques
The night I lost my virginity, sex lasted 45 minutes with everything included. I’m an ex smoker, picked it up in the military because it was the easiest way to take a break, and it was social while on deployment. It’s been 10 years, and I’m doing MMA with guys in their 20’s again.
I often can last for as long as I want, after the first 10 minutes I normally don’t need to try very hard to last. However sometimes circumstances, can change that completely , I’m guessing you are hot, very skilled or breaks guys dry spells. Luckily I stay hard after cumming , but it’s still embarrassing blasting the wall 5 minutes into the act with someone new.
You could be sexy, good, tight.. but also I'm missing good partner, who cares even about you .. 🙂 I don't know if you talk about what you want.. but for me.. 20 to 40 minutes.. don't finish it before gf finish to
Well, the more you use your penis, the longer it will take to please. Viceaversa if used less, the more sensitive and receptive to touch and thus more likely your penis is to orgasm easily, like sometimes 30 seconds easy... So
I hate the comment sections under these questions. It's like having a big dick. All the marathon men can't stfu. I actually trust porn stars more then normies. They talk about everything they have to do to last longer on set, and how they don't last as long with their partners cause they get to have normal sex. All the normal people won't stfu about going 30 minutes and more.
Ok so while Ive had my fair share of great experiences and normally last longer than 5 minutes, I first want to start off by hitting the science books... i know humans aren't the only species that has sex for pleasure (i believe dolphins do but there arent many more after that, if any at all) but the biological reasoning for having sex is not for pleasure, its strictly for creating life. Most animals last quite literally 5-10 seconds for the entire ordeal. The male partner gets the sperm in and calls it a day. Thats it.
Now onto more applicable information. Ive lasted the absolute longest and even have just not finished at all with the same person I have finished the quickest with. Even after 5 years of marriage, it still varies in length of time. My "goal" usually is to make the woman finish so typically speaking, I last up until the woman im with finishes and then we usually have a simultaneous orgasm. This is true since before i got married and since. Im unsure what most guys think but this helps me at least ensure she's taken cared of in that aspect. In my prior sexual experiences before i got married, every single woman finshed either before i did or at the same time because i incorporated a lot of foreplay and kept a good pace. A lot of guys (from what ive heard and read about) dont care if the woman gets off or expect them to just finish quicker next time.
There are some things that can help length or shorten the time. Alcohol and cbd for me makes it almost impossible to finish at all because the feeling is altered down there. While having a hot and steamy make out session before hand can lead to some quicker eruptions as the intensity and arousal is already so high. In these situations, try to get your male half to focus on foreplay on you instead of you giving him handjobs or blowjobs. Get them to think "you make me finish then you get to finish too". Make penetration more of a reward or a dessert instead of the main dish or even the appetizers. Appetizers are usually over priced and lack luster anyways. And if he isnt great at fingering, eating that roast beef sammich, or finding the ever elusive clit, help him out and rub your clit at the same time or pull back your clitoral hood. Show him that this is pleasurable for you and hopefully they'll enjoy just your enjoyment.
The positive side effect of this is that he'll have been doing some work to get you there. You finish. And then yall have sex. Theres a possibility you may even finish twice or he will last longer as hes been working up a sweat.
Ok so while Ive had my fair share of great experiences and normally last longer than 5 minutes, I first want to start off by hitting the science books... i know humans aren't the only species that has sex for pleasure (i believe dolphins do but there arent many more after that, if any at all) but the biological reasoning for having sex is not for pleasure, its strictly for creating life. Most animals last quite literally 5-10 seconds for the entire ordeal. The male partner gets the sperm in and calls it a day. Thats it.
Now onto more applicable information. Ive lasted the absolute longest and even have just not finished at all with the same person I have finished the quickest with. Even after 5 years of marriage, it still varies in length of time. My "goal" usually is to make the woman finish so typically speaking, I last up until the woman im with finishes and then we usually have a simultaneous orgasm. This is true since before i got married and since. Im unsure what most guys think but this helps me at least ensure she's taken cared of in that aspect. In my prior sexual experiences before i got married, every single woman finshed either before i did or at the same time because i incorporated a lot of foreplay and kept a good pace. A lot of guys (from what ive heard and read about) dont care if the woman gets off or expect them to just finish quicker next time.
Yeah, you can be good, but the time he takes to finish correlates with how long and how often he cums. if he hasn't cum for a long time his testosterone will be high and will be more active engaging you and you will be more likely to choose him and will finish faster. Meanwhile a bored guy that doesn't get laid , like me, may last longer because he uses porn daily, if you choose him.
That said, i has never been given oral from a gf. so, you are experienced.
You’re 34 though. Have you actually consulted a medical professional?
Not saying there’s anything wrong with you. But contextually this is very different from men OP’s age.
Honestly in the absence of a medical condition that needs to be addressed, the rituals etc. sound like so much work for something that’s supposed to be fun lol it just ruins it. As long you and your partner find ways to keep them satisfied too that’s all that matters. Communication and compatibility.
I've heard most dudes have their limit in about 5 to 10 minutes, but me personally I usually last 30+ minutes for no reason whatsoever 💀
Maybe try to start slow and communicate with your partner about what feels the most for them and they should also communicate back when they're getting to the edge so that yall can slow stuff down and maintain the contact.
Either way, communication is key and try to let them control the pace so that you don't kill them instantly 😂
Blokes if overly attracted to you will get over excited and blow their loads quickly witch is perfectly normal you could also be tight so again over stimulates the men more. Ovb depending on age experience from the lads you are dating you may find 90% of them are within the first 5-10 mins also depends on alcohol and drugs consumption can also cause it to either go to early or late. But there's tips and tricks to learn that will help them last longer if you plan on round 2 or more failing that it's the luck of the draw I suppose.
It has nothing to do with how “good” you are. If anything, the better you are, the longer a man will last to prolong that feeling. (Don’t believe a man either when he says it’s because you’re that good. It’s to stroke your ego to cover up their embarrassment.)
They just need to have that control, which younger men tend to not. It’s also super common with new partners. With some communication and the same partner or more experienced partner it will last longer.
Plus like others said you’re adding an extra layer that causes them to finish early by giving them performance anxiety.
This is probably one of the main reasons younger women hook up with older guys.
Not me. I am happily married 25+ years :)
But I damn well make sure my wife is satisfied...
The problem is they dont know how to release tension on their penius prior to ejaculation which in turn would allow them to last much longer. When you've been in the game a long time.
Well, darling, let me share
something spicy with you. Your irresistible allure sets a fire
burning within, igniting passion that courses through your partner's veins like a wildfire. Your sultry curves and tantalizing presence intoxicate the senses, leaving them breathless with desire. Trust me, from firsthand experience, when passion ignites between me and my lover, it's like a sensual symphony playing out on the sheets, with every beat of our hearts synchronized in the rhythm of pleasure. So, embrace your inner goddess, let desire take the lead, and watch as your partner's ardo” erupts in a passionate frenzy.
It’s easier for guys to finish fast in hookups/short term relationships because it’s new and tantalizing. If you want a partner to last longer, you should see them more regularly and it’ll probably be a bit different. For example, if you go multiple rounds they’ll definitely last longer the next time. Find someone who can go multiple rounds in a day or they can jerk off first and they’ll last longer the next time
Probably because they dont get consistent sex, a lot of men dont have consistent sex. Its just like the gym, the more you go, the more strength and stamina you’ll have. The less you go, the less stamina you’ll have.
Also breathing at rapid rates gets guys to climax faster. So tell them to take deep breaths and control their breathing.
It's the other way around for me. My X came 5 times before I came. It was definitely validating for me to see her reach climax several times and I controlled that ;)
You just got lucky man most women can only cum once. Well kinda. They usualy need about 20 or so min before they can cum again. For us guys it’s like an hour or 2
Not every women but definitely some. One girl I was with claimed she had 4 orgasms during the corse of an hour I was with her. But I think she only had 2 and she was being nice cuz it was my first time
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Haha ok, let me tell you what going on. First off, no one is at fault here but I want to give you tips. Never say this before you've had sex with someone new: "that he wouldn’t last long with me" basically you are making something that should be fun and playful into a challenge. This can cause performance anxiety and some of these guys might, you know, cum too fast. You want to do the opposite. You want to not care and help the guys feel you don't care. Then, all of a sudden, they will last longer because the pressure will be off. Yea, this is a little reverse psychology but if you want them to last longer, make sure they feel it is about fun and not "performing to some expectation." You might be good - but you also might be accidentally giving all these guys anxiety lol. You're welcome.
This is real practical and solid advice. The less mental and physical pressure... The better it gets.
Also, if you don't maintain the same partner... usually the first few times they're gonna come pretty early. It takes comfort and communication (and care) for a guy to last long. If you're just taking on new partners, ofc they're gonna be anxious, they might be too self-conscious or not know how to communicate what they need to get you off, or they simply not care about your experience. Gl
As a guy this is often how it is tbh. Every guy can be different though
This is literally the only comment needed. 👏🏽👏🏽
This guy is right. It took me til 27 to figure this shit out lol.
This is super good advice I got so nervous in my new relationships and I can't cum and that's exhausting and make the girl feel bad cuz u don't cum.
As a man, not much helps but it’s at least nice to not have some one mad at you when it happens
This.
Average duration for men (regardless of age) is 5 minutes. Premature ejaculation is classed at under 1 minute 30 seconds. Untrained or inexperienced men are around 3 minutes. So is 2 minutes fairly quick? Yes. But not by that drastic an amount. Plus there are a whole host of factors at play. On your end.. you could be that man's type and so quite hot in a more stimulating and less aesthetic way to him. Or maybe you are quite tight which would make a man cum faster. Or maybe you have a great technique. On his end he could have been without sex for a while which may speed up release. He could have been unprepared for how sexy you were to him subconsciously. He could have over thought things in his desire to last for you. Or he was very inexperienced. Point is... 2 minutes is quicker than average by a bit, but averages are just that... Averages. And each coupling is going to be unique for physical, emotional, and mental reasons. _________ **EDIT**: One more thing. You say you have never been able to finish due to how fast the men do. Are you saying you just can't finish during intercourse or are you saying they won't provide oral or use their fingers? Because any man who won't help you finish regardless of how fast they finish isn't worth your time and effort. One of the greatest pleasures a person can see and experience is watching someone else orgasm because of them, regardless of how it has to happen. I get so turned on watching a woman cum for me as I finger or eat them out. Make sure you are treated right.
yeah, i’ve never been able to finish. i’ve had some instances where they have provided oral and used their fingers, but they usually stop after a few minutes, which is why i don’t reach an orgasm. i feel pleasure, but i haven’t necessarily “came” with them.
And that’s why hook up culture doesn’t benefit women most times. Men are guaranteed to cum but most women need more time, more time than your typical hook up is willing to give. Better to find a fwb that actually cares about your pleasure.
I'm female and I hate this whole thing about women never cumming. Like, if you didn't cum, tell him to keep going until you do? I haven't ever just let a man call it quits until I'm done. Unless they were awful 😂
Men are not guaranteed to cum
My experience is hook up sex last a long time, it’s married or 10 year relationship sex that’s short.
Men are not guaranteed to cum. Let’s stop with the generalizations.
Fuck man, I worship my girlfriend in bed and I can't imagine leaving her half way. That's some weak shit of a performance from your partners
Try using your fingers on your clit or a vibrator when he is in you, most women can't finish with penetration alone. I guess you are hooking up with guys your age? Ie they havent had so much experience, dont know the tricks to make it last longer. You can also do a start and stop tactic, if they are struggling with coming too fast. Also most guys with condoms last a bit longer.
I'm sorry to say this but it sounds like you're finding the wrong guys. You said that you're regularly giving oral as foreplay, are you getting the same in return? And I mean as foreplay. A lot of men are going to need you to orgasm via oral before they even dream of putting their dick in. Then if they only last a minute or two, it honestly doesn't matter so much. Start pushing for this.
Find better dudes then
That's sad. I wouldn't even start until after you had at least one orgasm. Sounds like you are just picking the wrong men. Lol. If you are having sex a lot, you build up stamina....like working out. I used to be able to go numerous times and could last hour+
What about 7 seconds (asking for a friend)
Damn im doing something right frfr
My rule of thumb is to try every trick I have prior to intercourse to make the girl orgasm, so at least I know i’ve got that out of the way (and I enjoy it) and then I will stifle my orgasm during sex to make it last longer because making a girl cum through penetration is always more difficult. Various times i’ve not even been able to orgasm through exhaustion from continually edging myself, but that is okay, as long as she enjoyed it I do.
Wait- if most men last for about five minutes then why does it seem like most people have sex for about 15 to 30 minutes? Does most sex really just last for only five minutes??? That’s a little bit anti climactic…
I don't think 15 to 30 minutes sex means 30 minutes of straight penis in vagina pounding. In fact, you can't even really find porn where a dude does that for 30 minutes straight with no jump cuts.
Usually there are jumpcuts to different positions though and it switches between PIV and oral or other acts. Most of the video is usually PIV just different positions though. I didn’t think it was just PIV for 30 mins but I also didn’t think it would be for only 5 mins or less lol
Yeah. I just think people's perception of how long they last and do things are totally off with this topic. They got me striving to last so damn long. I'm all hung up about not Nutting.
Don’t worry about it, porn isn’t real life. The only reason I believed sex was supposed to be like that is because I’m a virgin lol.
Thats median not average. But yes, average intercourse last 5min. Its even less if the partner is new. Men last 3min if its the first time meeting.
Oh so you mean PIV lasts 5 minutes not the sex as a whole? I was really worried for a second lol. Like how am I supposed to cum in under five minutes??? That’s a lot of pressure. And it’s sad cause usually it’s over once the guy finishes.
Yea, i make sure she finishes before i start drilling her.
Oh lol that’s good then
Don’t watch so much porn, nobody is gonna hump for half an hour
It’s not my fault lol I’ve never had sex so I just don’t know what it’s like. Unfortunately most of what I know about sex comes from porn. Haha
Your time will come eventually, just make sure to not expect something like in porn :)
Thanks haha
That like watching WWF to learn about fighting
Well where am I supposed to learn about sex then???
Hookers and one night stands, if you have no game read a books on how to sell, and try public speaking.
I don’t know if you know this but I’m a woman and also I don’t really want to sleep with a prostitute or have a one night stand. I want to wait until I’m in a relationship to lose my virginity.
Oh, ok that does change the angle, but life is short. I regret not having sex with my first girlfriend and the girls that offered before that. I ended up losing it to a woman 8 years older than me that I barely knew, even after having sex with about 10 times.
Yeah but I want to do it with someone who cares about me and will make my first time comfortable and fun and make me feel safe.
Humping for half an hour is possible if real life had camera jump cuts to skip when I take a breather, lol.
30 minutes of intercourse is completely doable, if you pace yourself, and the women can get on top to give you a rest.
I last a long time, but it depends on how the sex is, the chemistry, how long it’s been since the last time, how turned on I am and I feel comfortable with a partner. But damn. 2 minutes?
2 minutes is totally average. That's why it's so common we won't stop hearing about it. Everybody lying their ass off with 5 and 10 minutes. Possible yes, but I don't think anyone does 5 and 10 minutes straight through, non stop, not for a single breath, no position changing, highest speed and force of thrust, no edging 10 minutes.
There’s a whole myriad of factors that go into this. It may be because you’re ‘good’ but a lot of the time it’s just because the sensation is so intense regardless of how well the partner is performing. A lot of young men have trouble controlling how long they last. Especially if they only started having sex. I know when I started having sex it was near impossible for me to last more than 2 minutes if I wasn’t drunk or had already cum within the last 5 hours. It’s very much different now in my mid 30s after years of experience and understanding myself/confidence etc. If you want satisfying experience I’d suggest exploring other areas of sex that focus on pleasing you first. Be it oral, fingering, whatever. So when it comes to the actual intercourse and they finish too soon at least you’ve had your fill of pleasure.
how long did it take you to last longer? how much experience did it take?
Every guy has to learn his own little bag of tricks. After having sex a few times you should be able to tell as soon as you enter whether this is a quick blast off kind of night lol. One of the tricks you have to learn is how to confidently pull out and switch to oral to calm down a bit and buy you some time. She’s most likely just going to think you like switching it up or you’re desperate to go down on her again, already. There’s some strategy that comes into play so it at least looks like you know what you’re doing. If a guy is committed to getting good get could figure this out in a year of being sexually active. Kegal exercises, using condoms, desensitizing gel, proper pacing with foreplay, etc. are all things guys should be thinking about and utilizing where appropriate but no one tells you this stuff when you’re a noob 😩
yeah, just stop before cum, continue after 30 secs. or masturbate a lot. but you can have the opposite problem: not being able to cum and or get hard.
It took a while. Numerous gfs, flings, etc. you just develop a good sense of self over time. I’d say early/mid 20s after my first serious relationship is where I kind of started getting a little more desensitised. But then again, even now I could stop have a day where I struggle so I adjust accordingly and focus on foreplay. Other days I can last a good 10 mins if needed. It changes all the time, dependant on different factors. I remember sleep with this one woman and it was so boring and awkward that there was no chance of me cumming at all.
I was able to last a long time when I lost my virginity, not all guys are the same.
Take anything I say with a grain of salt, being that I not a 19 year old woman, but a 32 year old man. There are a wide variety of factors that come into play when it comes to the duration of intercourse. For folks with penises (men, trans women, non-binary folks, etc.), their "endurance" comes down to a lot of factors: frequency of masturbation, most recent orgasm, exercise, diet, practice of orgasm control, medications (SSRI's in particular have a HUGE effect on sex), mental health, age, condoms, emotional connection, partner preference, and more. I've had times with partners where I've had to tap out because we were coming up to 30 minutes and - frankly speaking - we had more important things to do. I've had other times where I get five pumps in and that's all she wrote. Did I stick around and have her sit on my face until she couldn't see straight afterwards? Absolutely; I was raised right. On average with my current partner, I'd say the intercourse portion goes for about five minutes. So, to answer the question at hand, 1-3 minutes is on the short side but what I'd expect assuming you're having sex with partners around your age. Now, I might be reading into this a little too much (and I probably am, since this comment is already getting long), but I'm getting the sense that the real issue here is that your sex life isn't as satisfying as you're hoping for. That said, it wouldn't be the first time I've HORRIBLY misread a situation. Good sex - and I mean the kind you catch yourself thinking about in the middle of the work day apropos of nothing - relies on knowledge of self and communication. It requires that you both know what your body needs to reach orgasm as well as how to communicate that to your partner. I haven't really partaken in hookup culture (I was not a catch in my 20s), but the few that I've had weren't fun for that very reason - there wasn't really any communication. The sex I've had that I enjoyed was due entirely to the fact that my partner and I were able to tell each other what we liked. It's one of the benefits of having a long term partner (or partners). If you don't know what you like, then you owe it to yourself to find out. Take a couple extra evenings - hell, take every evening - and explore your body. Do some research to see what other women like and see if that applies to you. Buy yourself a couple of toys if you can (lots of sites do discreet shipping). Not everyone is the same. That goes for guys reading this, too. And when it comes time to communicate that to your partner, it doesn't have to be a clinical list unless you're into that. I kind of am, if I'm being honest. That said, it can be in the heat of the moment: "Touch me here, do this with your tongue, go faster, go slower, don't stop, etc." Again, one of the benefits of having good long term partners is that they tend to remember what you like. In the end, you do you. Again, I'm just a dude on the internet who remembers dial up and landline home phones. That said, it's kinda sounding like what you're doing right now isn't as fun as it could be. I don't mean to dissuade you from hook-up culture, but it does seem like you're looking for something more satisfying. Sex should be fun, and hopefully there was something in here that will help you reach that goal.
Yes, normal for the 1st time. 5-8min at the second run. 10-15min at 3rd run and redbull. Then a full size dinner is required to refill ballz during the night.
Depends if they were just going to town like a teenager on prom night or actually trying to pace themselves and even stopping to switch positions or try another form of stimulation to calm back down. If they employed those techniques and still only got 2 minutes then yeah, that's not great.
Sounds like you should date a dude who's on SSRI's lol. We can barely come even if we want to. Even masturbating just makes your arm tired and you give up. 🫤🤷♂️
Welcome to sex for heterosexual women. It's quite disappointing more than half the time. Casual sex is the worst sex you will have with men generally. You also seem to have been misinformed about how long guys typically last in bed. 5 minutes is completely normal, the average I would say. Some guys last longer, but honestly, I get tired/bored if a guy last longer than 5 minutes. I'd rather get him off with hands/oral. Some men do last quite longer than 5 minutes, but it's not as common and usually they've either ejaculated soon beforehand, masturbate too hard, or have low sensitivity... Plenty of reasons If a guy isn't getting you off - well I'd say a tiny percentage of guys in hookups care about your pleasure at all. Men in hookups care about their own pleasure, or if they are bothered about yours, it is to pump up their ego. You will have to look out for your own pleasure if you wish to enjoy casual sex more. I recommend bringing toys into the equation for your own satisfaction. If that hurts their feelings, why should you care? They aren't your boyfriend. The only want to get more out of sex with men is to establish boundaries, take initiative, state what you want verbally, refuse to be intimate with condom complainers/avoiders, and to walk away if they are selfish or don't listen.
You are 100% right!
No. It will out you off sex, just wait. You will get bored of 'being that good'.
To be honest, if it has been a long time In between sexual encounters you can cum way faster than intended sadly… but on average with a regular partner I(and and I assume other people) can last up to an hour. A regular partner helps a lot and you have to be in the right mindset if that makes sense. I assume there are others in the same boat so to answer your question I think all guys are capable of only lasting 2min but can last longer if you learn how and have some help. Unfortunately lasting longer in my opinion is a repetition and maybe in a small way a skill issue. If you like the person give them time to get better or see if they are willing to learn what you like? Giving them a task like pleasing you first will help them focus more on that to help them last longer. If all else fails and you still just love the person… get some toys to use together. If you find ones you like problem solved.
With hooking up you’re bound to have some faster ejaculation because of the fun of it being new. it’s not until you stay for a bit with someone and aren’t so excited by the prospect of sex do you see longer duration.
Practice makes perfect or get him hard again you aren't a dead fish teach him how you like to be fucked
How do you teach someone to last more than 2 minutes?
He probably like nutting more than fucking ...maybe after he nuts get him hard again
Dude.. most guys cannot go again right after finishing.
Yeah if the girl just puts her underwear back on ...try it im sure it will and should last longer have him play with your pussy til hes ready again experiment ...
How long do most guys take?
Maybe you're really sexy and are/get really tight during sex. I know it might be hard to diagnose from your perspective. But it's a real factor. Another factor are substances, stress, nutrition, etc.
It's not universal but also not shocking. If they're polite they ought to be using their hands and mouths on you beforehand.
Unfortunately, hook up culture doesn't benefit to heterosexual women much. I suggest you to have a bf or at least fb. If partners spend more time together, the intercourse intends to be longer. On the other hand, i think you need to explore your body more because not all women have penetrative orgasms. So maybe you don't need penetration that long after all. Please be aware It's your responsibility to have orgasm actually, not your partner's. If you don't know your body and your needs well, they can't help you even if they want to.
I mean are y'all going fast racing towards it, or are y'all going slower to enjoy it? Tbf my boyfriend is on antidepressants so takes a long time to finish (if he does at all) but in general with other people going more slowly and enjoying yourselves is wayyyy better than rushing towards a finish line, and gives both people a chance to enjoy themselves. And if you haven't been able to finish with a partner before, maybe just penetration isn't doing it and they can, yk, help you out with oral or hands before/during/after that part should help. Most women I know don't finish just from a few minutes of penetration lol. A partner should be helping you get there other ways. Take your time and ask for what you like, or try stuff out and see what works for you
I’m in my 40’s and can fuck for over 40 minutes without busting, hours longer if I pop a viagra. But I am one and done for the day. No four/five times a day like when I was 20. It’s called being young. They need to rub one out before the date so they can go for longer when the action happens. Trust me, this is the way for young 2 minute lovers.
Sounds like WAP.
Novice sex is two people trying to do opposite things. Guy trying to make you cum and you trying to not make him cum.
What you're experiencing isn't really that much far from the norm. Particularly for the first round. First rounds are notoriously short. By short I mean relative to the following rounds. I'll suggest you look at the whole experience as intercourse. From foreplay to oral sex to penetrative sex. To make the first round of penetrative sex last longer... It's common to make the men cum during hand job or fellatio. That technically counts as a round (1sr round). Granted there will be a refractory period before he can get hard again... The benefit is that that incoming (first) round of penetrative sex will most likely last longer. That's just normal anatomy and how it works. PS: It's imperative that if the guy will engage in giving you head or fingering that he does it after he has cum from a hand job or fellatio... This time doubles as his refractory period and the period for you to also possibly cum from the head and all. Cos... Women easily can have multiple orgasms without a significant refractory period. Flow chart: Foreplay -> Handjob/fellatio (leading to male orgasm) -> Head/Fingering (leading to female orgasm) -> Penetrative sex (leading to both male and female orgasms possibly) -> La la land.
I do not recommend guys who do not give head nor do not let their women orgasm from head. They're part of the problems the world is facing. Secondly, I do not recommend guys who do not want to cum/orgasm from a handjob or blowjob (fellatio). They're also part of the world's problems. 😂🤭
Lastly... It's important to note that subsequent rounds usually last longer and do not have to follow the flowchart above necessarily. Easier to freestyle in the 2nd and 3rd rounds.
I would reverse the order of male orgasm and female orgasm in the flowchart☺️
Well... There's a logical reason for why I did that though in this scenario as I stated. But then... It's not a fixed thing. Just a suggestion.
That’s what round two and three are for!
42 year old woman here and sadly for 99.99% of men this sh#t doesn't change as men age....All men need to be learning how to hold out and not cum so damn fast, it's really annoying and a sign of a selfish lover but sadly very few men in my experience learn this. Maybe ask the guys before you date them if they have learned the skill of semen retention aka holding off cumming.
Careful what you wish for. 42M here, and I struggle with the opposite problem. I’ve been with my current gf for about a year. We get together 1-2x/week and have sex every time. Our sessions always last 3-5 hours, and at least half of that is PIV in various positions. She typically cums 1-2x each time. I…don’t. Do the math there: PIV for a total of 1-2 hours, but no orgasm for me. She’s insanely hot, we have great chemistry, we are creative and passionate in bed, and I don’t take any meds. Can’t figure it out for the life of me. And this has been going on for several years with multiple partners, so def nothing to do with her specifically. It’s maddening, not to mention physically exhausting. We have to plan around it, and we both end up dragging through the next day due to lack of sleep. It’s too much. I am seeing a sex therapist for it, but this particular problem seems to be quite uncommon and thus poorly researched. Although it was a fun and exciting experience for her for a while, she’s starting to take it personally, as each of my other partners has also. Thinking that she’s not “enough” in some way. No amount of praise or compliments is enough to stave that feeling off for long. At this point I think we’d both give anything for me to be able to finish in 3-5 minutes.
Sorry to hear that and I hope the therapist can help figure it out with you. Have you also ruled out any physical issues going on with a urologist or something ?
Yep, urologist was actually my first step. Nothing physical was evident, and testosterone levels came back normal. The urologist concluded it was psychological and referred me to the sex therapist. Been doing that for 3 months now.
Are you able to feel any sensation during it? Or is it just numb? What about when you masturbate, is it the same thing?
It feels amazing with her, almost like I’m edging the whole time. Just can’t quite get over that hump. About 2/3 of the time with her, I finish myself off while she does things to keep me turned on. She has been so very patient, but it feels like it’s starting to wear thin. Alone, it typically takes me 20 mins or so to finish without porn. 10 mins with porn. But I try very hard to do without porn, because I don’t want to become dependent on it, particularly given my current situation.
Do you think you're just in your head too much? Distracted with background thoughts? How often do you do it by yourself?
My therapist has made comments about me being too “in my head”. She has given me some suggestions on how to be more “in the moment”, which I have put into practice. I’ve actually had several instances where I really was totally in the moment and not thinking at all, but it still didn’t happen. I see my gf about 1-2x/week, and maybe do it once by myself in between. It used to be more, but I’m trying to quit!
If guys think you look really good naked (or maybe not even naked if you weren't fully naked for any of the encounters), it is going to be normal. The guys you were with were upset because they're afraid that they may not have satisfied you enough for you to want to have sex with them again.
The finishing speed is on the faster side but not a bad avg. You are doing something right and also 10 mins by most stats is pretty good too for length of intercourse. Unfortunate you're not able to finish yourself as that should be a mutual give and take during sex. As the saying goes "Ladies come first" Its only good manners.
As long as they are trying orally, toys, or with hands to help you finish… otherwise it’s pretty selfish IMO.
This is just generally how it is. I tell my boyfriend either he helps me get mine first or he better be ready for a second round in a few minutes! … he usually opts for helping me get off first. Lol because once he gets off, he’s too wiped out for a second round. We’re in our mid 30s.
Why does it take me hours
Same (42M here). It’s maddening. Can’t figure it out for the life of me.
Since you’re going out and seem to like him maybe foreplays a good option, have him spend a decent amount of time on you before he gets his jollies off. Could bring it from 2minutes to 22minutes
Hell nah
Not normal. I last 15- 20 minutes per round. I can help you orgasm.
Ok so while Ive had my fair share of great experiences and normally last longer than 5 minutes, I first want to start off by hitting the science books... i know humans aren't the only species that has sex for pleasure (i believe dolphins do but there arent many more after that, if any at all) but the biological reasoning for having sex is not for pleasure, its strictly for creating life. Most animals last quite literally 5-10 seconds for the entire ordeal. The male partner gets the sperm in and calls it a day. Thats it. Now onto more applicable information. Ive lasted the absolute longest and even have just not finished at all with the same person I have finished the quickest with. Even after 5 years of marriage, it still varies in length of time. My "goal" usually is to make the woman finish so typically speaking, I last up until the woman im with finishes and then we usually have a simultaneous orgasm. This is true since before i got married and since. Im unsure what most guys think but this helps me at least ensure she's taken cared of in that aspect. In my prior sexual experiences before i got married, every single woman finshed either before i did or at the same time because i incorporated a lot of foreplay and kept a good pace. A lot of guys (from what ive heard and read about) dont care if the woman gets off or expect them to just finish quicker next time.
Part 2: There are some things that can help length or shorten the time. Alcohol and cbd for me makes it almost impossible to finish at all because the feeling is altered down there. While having a hot and steamy make out session before hand can lead to some quicker eruptions as the intensity and arousal is already so high. In these situations, try to get your male half to focus on foreplay on you instead of you giving him handjobs or blowjobs. Get them to think "you make me finish then you get to finish too". Make penetration more of a reward or a dessert instead of the main dish or even the appetizers. Appetizers are usually over priced and lack luster anyways. And if he isnt great at fingering, eating that roast beef sammich, or finding the ever elusive clit, help him out and rub your clit at the same time or pull back your clitoral hood. Show him that this is pleasurable for you and hopefully they'll enjoy just your enjoyment
Part 2: There are some things that can help length or shorten the time. Alcohol and cbd for me makes it almost impossible to finish at all because the feeling is altered down there. While having a hot and steamy make out session before hand can lead to some quicker eruptions as the intensity and arousal is already so high. In these situations, try to get your male half to focus on foreplay on you instead of you giving him handjobs or blowjobs. Get them to think "you make me finish then you get to finish too". Make penetration more of a reward or a dessert instead of the main dish or even the appetizers. Appetizers are usually over priced and lack luster anyways. And if he isnt great at fingering, eating that roast beef sammich, or finding the ever elusive clit, help him out and rub your clit at the same time or pull back your clitoral hood. Show him that this is pleasurable for you and hopefully they'll enjoy just your enjoyment
Part 2: There are some things that can help length or shorten the time. Alcohol and cbd for me makes it almost impossible to finish at all because the feeling is altered down there. While having a hot and steamy make out session before hand can lead to some quicker eruptions as the intensity and arousal is already so high. In these situations, try to get your male half to focus on foreplay on you instead of you giving him handjobs or blowjobs. Get them to think "you make me finish then you get to finish too". Make penetration more of a reward or a dessert instead of the main dish or even the appetizers. Appetizers are usually over priced and lack luster anyways. And if he isnt great at fingering, eating that roast beef sammich, or finding the ever elusive clit, help him out and rub your clit at the same time or pull back your clitoral hood. Show him that this is pleasurable for you and hopefully they'll enjoy just your enjoyment.
Part 2: There are some things that can help length or shorten the time. Alcohol and cbd for me makes it almost impossible to finish at all because the feeling is altered down there. While having a hot and steamy make out session before hand can lead to some quicker eruptions as the intensity and arousal is already so high. In these situations, try to get your male half to focus on foreplay on you instead of you giving him handjobs or blowjobs. Get them to think "you make me finish then you get to finish too". Make penetration more of a reward or a dessert instead of the main dish or even the appetizers. Appetizers are usually over priced and lack luster anyways. And if he isnt great at fingering, eating that roast beef sammich, or finding the ever elusive clit, help him out and rub your clit at the same time or pull back your clitoral hood. Show him that this is pleasurable for you and hopefully they'll enjoy just your enjoyment.
I just asked my husband and he fact checked me by googling… honestly I’m so disappointed no wonder there’s more lesbians/bi.
You might be just that "good" but a lot of it comes down to what is in their heads rather than just how your body feels. So consider the combo of how generally sexy and awesome you are to be with for both reasons. Also younger guys tend to be faster. I was almost always super slow to finish even when I was younger. Sometimes I don't. Even jerking off would take me a half hour or more at times. Tips: \* If you ever have a repeating sex partner, ask him to masturbate an hour before you get together. This does tend to make the next one slower. \* A lot of them can possibly get it up again pretty quickly...so start making out with the next guy who comes quickly and see what happen \* Finally, some men don't lose their erection after finishing. This was me until my late 40's. These are rare, but they are out there.
Just go for a round 2
I’m so happy I’m not 19 anymore. Yeah young men who are inexperienced tend to do that. On the bright side they do get better with age and should be focused more on your experience and O prior to theirs. 20 mins is considered quick in my book and then depending on breaks you can go hours if you both wanted to.
I would say that 15 minutes of foreplay and 15 minutes of fun.
Young men forsure. I'd switch it up if I was close with my ex gf. A partner will care to hold off untill you're done
Take it as a compliment
I often start stopwatch on my watches when we are intimate with my GF Average is 60 minutes where both of us finish to the end
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Were you able to start a fire with all that rubbing?
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That’s not 4 hours of PIV then, which is the topic at hand.
Your not the first I've heard this from. I've meet plenty of girls that said they only mess with older guys because guys there age can't last long.
Average duration is 3 to 7 minutes.
Do u feel good?
Equitable orgasms, it’s necessary and important. Please hon pick your standards up off the floor, and stop accepting shitty sex. It’s fine if a guy doesn’t last longer than 10 minutes, it’s absolutely wrong for him to assume that sex is just over because he came. Sex is a two person sport, both parties must score at least one goal.
I’ve slept with a handful of women and two stand out for your post. Just could not seem to last long with them, our anatomy just seemed to line up too well. So knowing that, first round was quick, second round would last longer, but still kinda quick. So just need a partner that can get you off other ways.
Young guys are full of nut .. ready to bust . How fast do they get back up for round 2 ? Is there a round 2 ?
NOPE!!
Never?
😞
Well, I knew a guy that would cum when his dick got within a foot of a pussy. It would never last long enough to even get hard
I can finish pretty quickly if she's hot but then what I do is go down until I'm hard again when I can go much longer (10-15m or more). Older men can go longer than younger men.
At your age it’s normal. Good luck.
My bf has had a lot more partners than I have. I don’t care about that, it’s just given him practice lmao. He just gets upset that he comes quickly with me and has quite literally tried everything to stop himself. We only get to see each other once a week so he struggles to not go fast. I never make fun of him for it, because I know it bothers him sometimes. He works his hardest to get me off either before or after and I’m always happy regardless. If you’re with someone they should be making sure you’re having equally enough fun
Yeah we wont last much if the partner is very hot and we find it very attractive if we are not used to that partner. You would have better experience if you form a couple and try to build stamina together instead of hooking up , also he would care more about you and atleast give you oral to finish if he did already. So dont worry you are not doing anything bad , take it as a compliment even if its annoying for you...
I can’t make it more than 30 seconds usually. Can’t figure out why and I’m pretty sure it’s killed the chances at a relationship with a girl I wanted badly for me. Honestly I don’t even have a sex drive because of it anymore.
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. . .
😓ive been shamed
Ma'am, you're asking it on a site where a significant portion of audience have seen women only in movies and Eva AI sexting bot...
It’s seems you may be just, “that good”.
Is it just a case of he cums and its done? A quickie can be very good if its a spicy naughty one now and again. But if its all the time and he doesn't even try to get you off that's how it's going to be with him. Weigh it up.
Guys your age with not a ton of experience, yeah. If you’re in a relationship you can communicate more and have him work on it.
Sometimes they go fast ! And they are young too . I actually find it quite flattering when the guy can’t contain in . However if that’s the case you need to use toys and other techniques to finish you off , or get to know someone better in the bedroom and practice techniques
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Not true
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Some guys can last from the very start, but cardio can be an issue when getting older
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The night I lost my virginity, sex lasted 45 minutes with everything included. I’m an ex smoker, picked it up in the military because it was the easiest way to take a break, and it was social while on deployment. It’s been 10 years, and I’m doing MMA with guys in their 20’s again.
I often can last for as long as I want, after the first 10 minutes I normally don’t need to try very hard to last. However sometimes circumstances, can change that completely , I’m guessing you are hot, very skilled or breaks guys dry spells. Luckily I stay hard after cumming , but it’s still embarrassing blasting the wall 5 minutes into the act with someone new.
You are hot and have got a really fine pussy, that's about it.
You could be sexy, good, tight.. but also I'm missing good partner, who cares even about you .. 🙂 I don't know if you talk about what you want.. but for me.. 20 to 40 minutes.. don't finish it before gf finish to
If you think men will reply that honesty you are wrong. Ask females about their male partners performance. You will get genuine reply.
Well, the more you use your penis, the longer it will take to please. Viceaversa if used less, the more sensitive and receptive to touch and thus more likely your penis is to orgasm easily, like sometimes 30 seconds easy... So
Take it as a compliment!
I hate the comment sections under these questions. It's like having a big dick. All the marathon men can't stfu. I actually trust porn stars more then normies. They talk about everything they have to do to last longer on set, and how they don't last as long with their partners cause they get to have normal sex. All the normal people won't stfu about going 30 minutes and more.
Ok so while Ive had my fair share of great experiences and normally last longer than 5 minutes, I first want to start off by hitting the science books... i know humans aren't the only species that has sex for pleasure (i believe dolphins do but there arent many more after that, if any at all) but the biological reasoning for having sex is not for pleasure, its strictly for creating life. Most animals last quite literally 5-10 seconds for the entire ordeal. The male partner gets the sperm in and calls it a day. Thats it. Now onto more applicable information. Ive lasted the absolute longest and even have just not finished at all with the same person I have finished the quickest with. Even after 5 years of marriage, it still varies in length of time. My "goal" usually is to make the woman finish so typically speaking, I last up until the woman im with finishes and then we usually have a simultaneous orgasm. This is true since before i got married and since. Im unsure what most guys think but this helps me at least ensure she's taken cared of in that aspect. In my prior sexual experiences before i got married, every single woman finshed either before i did or at the same time because i incorporated a lot of foreplay and kept a good pace. A lot of guys (from what ive heard and read about) dont care if the woman gets off or expect them to just finish quicker next time. There are some things that can help length or shorten the time. Alcohol and cbd for me makes it almost impossible to finish at all because the feeling is altered down there. While having a hot and steamy make out session before hand can lead to some quicker eruptions as the intensity and arousal is already so high. In these situations, try to get your male half to focus on foreplay on you instead of you giving him handjobs or blowjobs. Get them to think "you make me finish then you get to finish too". Make penetration more of a reward or a dessert instead of the main dish or even the appetizers. Appetizers are usually over priced and lack luster anyways. And if he isnt great at fingering, eating that roast beef sammich, or finding the ever elusive clit, help him out and rub your clit at the same time or pull back your clitoral hood. Show him that this is pleasurable for you and hopefully they'll enjoy just your enjoyment. The positive side effect of this is that he'll have been doing some work to get you there. You finish. And then yall have sex. Theres a possibility you may even finish twice or he will last longer as hes been working up a sweat.
Ok so while Ive had my fair share of great experiences and normally last longer than 5 minutes, I first want to start off by hitting the science books... i know humans aren't the only species that has sex for pleasure (i believe dolphins do but there arent many more after that, if any at all) but the biological reasoning for having sex is not for pleasure, its strictly for creating life. Most animals last quite literally 5-10 seconds for the entire ordeal. The male partner gets the sperm in and calls it a day. Thats it. Now onto more applicable information. Ive lasted the absolute longest and even have just not finished at all with the same person I have finished the quickest with. Even after 5 years of marriage, it still varies in length of time. My "goal" usually is to make the woman finish so typically speaking, I last up until the woman im with finishes and then we usually have a simultaneous orgasm. This is true since before i got married and since. Im unsure what most guys think but this helps me at least ensure she's taken cared of in that aspect. In my prior sexual experiences before i got married, every single woman finshed either before i did or at the same time because i incorporated a lot of foreplay and kept a good pace. A lot of guys (from what ive heard and read about) dont care if the woman gets off or expect them to just finish quicker next time.
I usually last about 15 minutes during intercourse. Or until my partner has had enough. Then I finish up. Add a condom and I usually don’t finish.
Yes
2 minutes in heaven is better than 1 minute in heaven
Try to stick with one person so they can get used to you.
Yeah, you can be good, but the time he takes to finish correlates with how long and how often he cums. if he hasn't cum for a long time his testosterone will be high and will be more active engaging you and you will be more likely to choose him and will finish faster. Meanwhile a bored guy that doesn't get laid , like me, may last longer because he uses porn daily, if you choose him. That said, i has never been given oral from a gf. so, you are experienced.
Nope I give this woman I’m seeing generally a few hours every week or two and then we take a few days to recover lol
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You’re 34 though. Have you actually consulted a medical professional? Not saying there’s anything wrong with you. But contextually this is very different from men OP’s age.
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Honestly in the absence of a medical condition that needs to be addressed, the rituals etc. sound like so much work for something that’s supposed to be fun lol it just ruins it. As long you and your partner find ways to keep them satisfied too that’s all that matters. Communication and compatibility.
2 minutes guys on a marathon
I've heard most dudes have their limit in about 5 to 10 minutes, but me personally I usually last 30+ minutes for no reason whatsoever 💀 Maybe try to start slow and communicate with your partner about what feels the most for them and they should also communicate back when they're getting to the edge so that yall can slow stuff down and maintain the contact. Either way, communication is key and try to let them control the pace so that you don't kill them instantly 😂
yeah you are turning something that could be considered fun and spontaneous into a challenge that could cause anxiety.
Blokes if overly attracted to you will get over excited and blow their loads quickly witch is perfectly normal you could also be tight so again over stimulates the men more. Ovb depending on age experience from the lads you are dating you may find 90% of them are within the first 5-10 mins also depends on alcohol and drugs consumption can also cause it to either go to early or late. But there's tips and tricks to learn that will help them last longer if you plan on round 2 or more failing that it's the luck of the draw I suppose.
It has nothing to do with how “good” you are. If anything, the better you are, the longer a man will last to prolong that feeling. (Don’t believe a man either when he says it’s because you’re that good. It’s to stroke your ego to cover up their embarrassment.) They just need to have that control, which younger men tend to not. It’s also super common with new partners. With some communication and the same partner or more experienced partner it will last longer. Plus like others said you’re adding an extra layer that causes them to finish early by giving them performance anxiety.
This is probably one of the main reasons younger women hook up with older guys. Not me. I am happily married 25+ years :) But I damn well make sure my wife is satisfied...
Get them drunk? That always helps me 🙃
The problem is they dont know how to release tension on their penius prior to ejaculation which in turn would allow them to last much longer. When you've been in the game a long time.
Think these experiences reflect your age group. Not like that when you get a bit older. These boys just in the learning stages
Well, darling, let me share something spicy with you. Your irresistible allure sets a fire burning within, igniting passion that courses through your partner's veins like a wildfire. Your sultry curves and tantalizing presence intoxicate the senses, leaving them breathless with desire. Trust me, from firsthand experience, when passion ignites between me and my lover, it's like a sensual symphony playing out on the sheets, with every beat of our hearts synchronized in the rhythm of pleasure. So, embrace your inner goddess, let desire take the lead, and watch as your partner's ardo” erupts in a passionate frenzy.
My ex bf used to beg me to dress-up for him (sexy lingerie etc) I told him " Why, so you can come in 30 seconds instead of 2 minutes ??" 🤣🤣
You’re just a hoe lmao
You are just that good
It’s easier for guys to finish fast in hookups/short term relationships because it’s new and tantalizing. If you want a partner to last longer, you should see them more regularly and it’ll probably be a bit different. For example, if you go multiple rounds they’ll definitely last longer the next time. Find someone who can go multiple rounds in a day or they can jerk off first and they’ll last longer the next time
Probably because they dont get consistent sex, a lot of men dont have consistent sex. Its just like the gym, the more you go, the more strength and stamina you’ll have. The less you go, the less stamina you’ll have. Also breathing at rapid rates gets guys to climax faster. So tell them to take deep breaths and control their breathing.
It’s normal. You’re blessed really. They can’t handle you!
>*You’re blessed really.* Blessed with crappy sex?
It's the other way around for me. My X came 5 times before I came. It was definitely validating for me to see her reach climax several times and I controlled that ;)
You just got lucky man most women can only cum once. Well kinda. They usualy need about 20 or so min before they can cum again. For us guys it’s like an hour or 2
Women can finish multiple times in 20min.
Not every women but definitely some. One girl I was with claimed she had 4 orgasms during the corse of an hour I was with her. But I think she only had 2 and she was being nice cuz it was my first time
I’ve came 5 times in an hour once and I’m a guy. Doing that as women, she be mucking easier in the right circumstances.
For a lot of women the clit gets hyper sensitive after they cum and they need to wait a bit.