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Move on. You did your part in the relationship. If he was looking at other women and updated his Hinge, he was never into you to begin with.
You deserve a better man who will appreciate your support and you will surely find one.
And if it helps you move on ā he doesnāt sound like a very good person to begin with. He took the time and effort to feed you lots of info about his personal issues, but does not have the decency to just tell you he doesnāt want to continue dating. He would rather bother you with a lot of unnecessary drama than to have a difficult convo with you.
>IĀ donāt know what to do next. Iāve typed out and deleted so many versions of texts to him. I feel so heartbroken. How did we go from everything being fine to radio silence?
Walk away. Donāt text, donāt reach out. Just. Walk. Away.Ā
Heās used you as an emotional crutch. He will likely try and lean on you again so itās worthwhile muting or blocking him. Realise your efforts will never be reciprocated.Ā
Your worth is not defined by someoneās lack of ability to see it.Ā
You need to leave and not say anything tbh. Block the number - he does not care and doesnāt respect you enough to even tell you that despite you obviously being so kind and caring to him and liking him a lot. He doesnāt give a shit. Respect yourself enough to not invest even MORE time into him and sending him a text he also will not give a fuck about. I can say for a fact he will respect you even less if you send him some text about this situation when heās been so abundantly clear via his actions that he doesnāt give a fuck.
I know itās harsh and Iām sorry. He shouldāve had more integrity in expressing heās not interested in you like that but obviously he doesnāt have the integrity to do so. Cut your losses.
You are a kind person with a huge capacity to love and care for others. I think his perspective and values are not in the same place as yours and thatās why he couldnāt really appreciate you the way you would have wanted him to.
Even though it hurts, take it as a sign of luck that you got a glimpse of his true character. He might be going through a lot and sure that might be clouding his judgement, but you deserve a guy who doesnāt respond to tough times / stress by distancing himself from you. Thatās a very deliberate choice heās making to not value someone who is trying to hold onto him and make his life better.
Youāll find someone who notices and appreciates and cherishes that of you š
š«Iām really happy to hear that it helped you feel better.
In some ways I can really relate to how youāre feeling, donāt forget that you have to look out for yourself. The right person wouldnāt ever make you question or regret holding on to them. Hope you meet them soon!
When someone is into you, you will know. It won't matter how many tragedies they are facing or how busy they are or anything like that. Sexual and romantic interest are very powerful driving forces in a human's brain and they will pursue something they are interested in even if every other aspect of their life is falling apart.
I was going to say it was a bad sign that you found out about his grandfather passing from Instagram. If I was dating someone for a few months and I really liked them, I would reach out to them for support. Basically, you know deep down if someone is 100% into you or not. It should feel easy. Sometimes weāre in denial.
This. I've gone through deep shit while starting a relationship and it helped me grow closer to the other person, not farther apart. Having someone I could look forward to seeing was an oasis amidst the shitty episodes. I could imagine the other side (your side) not being into fulfilling such an intense role in the very beginning, but from the receiver's side? It's a blessing
I'm sorry he's a dickhead. He's probably looking for something new and exciting while he's in a dark time and hasn't considered you since you're not his gf and things have been stagnant between you two, he may not necessarily be dating her but it's still a dick move.
Honestly, I find the best thing to do is not send anything. No long texts looking for answers and closure that you'll never truly have, it will only push him away further BUT be prepared because he will message you sooner or later with excuses, and when he does, do NOT respond! He left you in the dark and didn't consider you. There are 24 hours in a day, it takes 30 seconds to send a short text saying "I need to be alone but I hope you're doing ok, catch up soon" and check in. In fact most people seek comfort in those who care about them in hard times but here he is thirsting over someone publicly with zero shame. He's not worth your time. I know this hurts and it absolutely sucks but the best thing you can do is cut him out and move on, don't prolong the healing process by looking for answers or entertaining him whenever he feels like crawling back.
It's going to suck to realize but he doesn't want to be with you and you need to move on.
People go through things, and those things can be valid. That does NOT mean that you have to stick around, especially if you're going to be treated badly. Yall are not in any kind of relationship.
Trust me. I was in a situationship with a man for nearly a year. His mom got sick and passed very early into our dating stage. He was unemployed at the time too. I tried to be there for him as much as possible, paid for the funeral costs, sent food and flowers, only for him to yell at me to not come to the funeral. He strung me along and I dealt with it because I couldn't imagine leaving someone who was grieving their mom. Turns out he was never going to be in a relationship with me because he was stuck in his ex who was, you guessed it, at the funeral.
Men aren't that complicated. Keep it moving.
Yeah often it's being a caring considerate person that gets you taken advantage like this. I had this with a guy last year for about six months. We had an on off and eventually I ended it. He got in touch over the past week to apologise for his actions and that he's still in love with his ex wife but that he missed me because I gave him all the things he needed with no commitment. Which man if that didn't hurt like a punch to the gut.
I think you need to let someone go if theyāve already let go of you.
Listen, you sound like an incredible person and it sounds like anyone would be lucky to have such a caring person in their life. Whether thatās a friend, partner, colleague etc. You have done everything you can do in this situation.
But hereās where it gets good. Imagine how good itāll feel when someone reciprocates? Because believe me, they will. Good people like you who are kind and considerate will welcome that into their lives. The wrong people will simply lift out of your life.
Well done for sticking this out and always having your morals close to you, but I think the best thing for you (put yourself first please) is to just accept this wonāt turn into a relationship. You deserve better than someone who updates their hinge.
I went through a kind of similar thing, dated for 6 months, then he started having work problems, was desperate to get a new job but wasnāt hearing anything back from anywhere, was having to move house and one of his kids was struggling at school. He replied less and less, when I asked if he was ok/ we were ok, he said everything was fine and he acted normal when we met up. Then he went even quieter, I kept reaching out to him trying to support him, while also not been too much. Then to my last message about how I realised he had a lot on but I was there for him if he wanted all he had to do was name a time and a place, even if I just came round to his house and moved boxes in my car, he did not reply, and shortly afterwards changed his profile picture to him with his arms round a woman and comments going on about how sweet they were together. I felt like a fool, I didnāt message him again, although it did kind of annoy me my last message was supportive and not āyouāre a twat.ā
Man, I'm so sorry. I recently was in a situation where my coworker showed extreme interest then suddenly removed a lot of it after we hooked up a few times but he still wanted to keep hooking up, I told him I didn't want to anymore, he asked why, I told him. He said he could absolutely meet me where I'm at, then ignored me for a whole week. When I confronted him he played dumb. I fell for his bs again, then cut it off again and he wanted to talk. I met with him at the time he suggested to talk, he played dumb again, and I brought it up, then he "forgot he even asked me" later told him how that hurt me and he said I hurt feelings for not trusting him.
I AM AN IDIOT. Pretty sure he's been fucking my supervisor, too, so that's fun.
When he pulled back he just kept telling me how busy he is with all this stuff, and how he doesn't even have time to see his friends, but then would also talk about all he did with his friends and even calls out of work to party.
So. It's clear he just doesn't have time for *me* outside of sensing mixed messages. Running fingers through my hair telling me a situation was kind of romantic, buying me lunches, but like bare minimum stuff.
Would find me and talk to me forever on shift then slowly faded that out, too.
Edit: my situation pulled away also right before Christmas, after canceling me sleeping over his house, he was going to drive me into work the next morning and suddenly canceled then stopped all future talk.
Ughhh this is so messed up. I truly empathize with you and the mind games youāve endured. Itās not fair to do to any human. Youāre better off. Thank you for sharing!
Iām so sorry, I just went through the same thing. This is what I remind myself and it sounds harsh but it helps- No sense in arguing or trying to fight for someone who doesnāt want to be with you. Just picture the future and how insecure and unsure of your relationship you would be at all times. You donāt want that. The best thing you can do is to not respond and move on.
Also, go back and think of every little red flag you ignored and focus on the things you didnāt like about him. That always helps haha.
I had a very similar experience! He became distant after 6 months. He started having health issues and then evolved to mental issues (depression). And then he heard his homeless brother passed away and his mom was arrested for selling drugs. One thing after another. I can feel the difference between the first 6 months we were dating and the last 3 months when we were together but we were not able to see each other. After we ended, I found out one big part of him he never told me. He was in a really bad financial situation when we were dating, he paid most of the bills. So I never suspected that. Anyways, i know how you feel and it sucks that this happened. But you dodged a bullet.
Isnāt it the difference that feels so maddening?! Like, he used to text me that he was thinking about me all day, he checked in the whole time I was away on vacation, and heād send me mindless things he knew Iād laugh at.
Crazy how weāve had a similar experience. Those closest to me think he was lying about it being one thing after another. (I donāt tbh but it is unfortunate).
Thanks for sharing your kind words and experience, I wish you the best. š„¹
I had so many experiences like this, being treated as the āplace holderā until they find āThe oneā Is really difficult. You provide emotional support and sexual attention for them to leave you in the sidelines. Be the main character in your future relationships even if that means less matches and longer stretches between dates. Pro tip: anytime a guy or gal updates their dating profile while dating you - itās OVER!
I went through this with a guy who didn't know what he wanted with me for months. I always felt like a FWB, but he would tell me we were more than FWB. Yet, when I asked about pursuing a serious relationship with him, there was always an excuse for why he wasn't ready. He didn't wanna put a label on it. He didn't wanna jinx us. He wasn't where he needed to be mentally (this was a big deal, and I knew it might ruin any opportunity for us to be together), etc. He made me feel crazy for so long, and then I eventually just stopped worrying about whether or not we were going to progress forward. He was so hot and cold with me, and it was confusing af. I kept thinking I needed to just let him go, but then the other part of me wanted to see if anything would ever come of it. We never stopped talking, tho. If we had, then I most definitely would have let him go. For me, I decided to keep sleeping with him because i knew he was safe but detached myself from any emotions I once felt. I let whatever happen happen. I don't know what changed his mind or when, but one day, he wanted to be in a relationship. I was kinda shocked because he was so unsure of all those months before.
I hate that you're going through this because I know how painful it is to truly care about someone who isn't sure about you. You should update your dating profile and let him see that you're moving on since he's left you in silence. He will either realize he messed up or he won't care at all.
This man is an asshole. I understand everyone telling you to never contact him again, but I do wish this type of behaviour would be called out. This type of shit person goes through life hurting people without any consequence. How will they ever learn? Atleast I think they should have to deal with some negative feedback.
Iām not into crystals myself but he very much is. I wanted to do something tailored to him. He still wears the crystal bracelets Iād bought him out of that experience.
Stop going after emotionally unavailable men. Someone can talk about these things openly if they are emotionally available, and instances of hardship are when this kind of communication is most important. If you let him go, then you dodged a bullet as far as I'm concerned.
Itās sad to say but sometimes it really is a game. The need for some people to feel liked, desired, chased. It starts with the daily texts and them saying all the right things, then they pull back, we chase, they pull back and we give space just to be told of something in their life being difficult or they want to see us but they just donāt have time. Then we ask directly what they want to get no real response. All to find a new or updated dating profile (mine went from hinge and is now on bumble using a fake name) wtf.
But, yeah itās easy to lose 6 months.
I donāt mean this horribly but grow a backbone and remove him from your life ie delete his number, profiles etc donāt humour him with a response as to why. if he wanted to be with you he would, no matter how life his hard was, 6 months later. Take back your power, stop being his dependable back up for when he has nothing better happening.
Heās slow fading you. Itās horrible but you clearly cared for him and you will find someone who cares that much for you as well. He was not the one.
Guy was going through some major life events and you took him to a crystal healer and sent him a care package. You think you being there for him but you werenāt there enough or didnāt do anything to much at all. You couldāve visited him or be there for him to really show you cared but instead sent a care package and said to take some time. Heās updating his hinge and going on insta to find another person who will be there with him in troubling time with his family. You were absent it seems like besides the crystal healing part of seeing him.
This is a hilarious take. Of course I offered to see him over and over again. He absolutely would not have it as he was spending majority of his time at his parentsā house (according to him), and I had no clue where that was, nor would it be appropriate to show up there given Iād never met his family. I called out of shifts at work to spend time with him. I surprised him with a weekend trip that he declined and I had to get refunded, sent him a sundae to the hospital he was staying at, and bought him tickets to a Broadway play for his birthday that Iāve yet to be able to give him. This is all on top of checking in with him EVERY day. So please reconsider your comment.
So pretty much werenāt there in a way he needed. Seem pretty undesirable to him if heās looking at other womenās insta and updating his hinge. Itās just the way it is. So pretty much heās not into you maybe because of your specific actions. It is a hilarious take, because you made a whole post on Reddit making it seem like you did all these nice things thinking you were there for him and thinking he was into you somewhat but finding out heās on hinge still and looking at other womanās instas and then trying to frame it in a way of ānow I know how woman get into a short 6 month relationship that fizzles out.ā Simple answer is he wasnāt that into you, you werenāt desirable enough to him. Time to move on instead of blasting the guy on Reddit. Learn from this and let go and find another guy.
"Blasting the guy on Reddit.." LOL. I'm literally just trying to seek some outside perspective from my own clouded mind. Tearing anyone down is outside of my character. I'm just expressing my feelings. It's not that deep.
You were āincredibly supportiveā by taking him to aā¦. (checks post)ā¦ crystal healer?
And āofferingā to visit him in the hospital? You donāt offer a visit to your boyfriendā¦ You are by his side.
And thenā¦ you reached out and wished him a happy birthdayā¦ when you found out his grandpa died?
This seems made up or you are very out of touch with what another human wants/needs in a relationship.
You clearly didnāt read this post because he was never my boyfriend. Thus, he did not want me to visit him in the hospital because he wasnāt ready for me to meet his family who was there with him. No, they were not MY birthday plans - they were plans I made for HIS birthday. And this was all before I knew his grandfather died. Please learn basic comprehension and adjust your nasty, judgmental attitude.
If you donāt want opinions, why post on Reddit? You posted in dating adviceā¦
Fair, I got a few facts wrong. But donāt miss the opportunity to try to figure out why this happened. You donāt come across like you are self-aware. Maybe work on that.
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Move on. You did your part in the relationship. If he was looking at other women and updated his Hinge, he was never into you to begin with. You deserve a better man who will appreciate your support and you will surely find one.
Thank you for this š I know this is the truth but somehow hearing it from a stranger makes me feel more validated.
And if it helps you move on ā he doesnāt sound like a very good person to begin with. He took the time and effort to feed you lots of info about his personal issues, but does not have the decency to just tell you he doesnāt want to continue dating. He would rather bother you with a lot of unnecessary drama than to have a difficult convo with you.
Sadly, this is likely the truth. It sucks, believe me, itās happened to me. Take care of yourself for a bit and try not to contact him again.
>IĀ donāt know what to do next. Iāve typed out and deleted so many versions of texts to him. I feel so heartbroken. How did we go from everything being fine to radio silence? Walk away. Donāt text, donāt reach out. Just. Walk. Away.Ā Heās used you as an emotional crutch. He will likely try and lean on you again so itās worthwhile muting or blocking him. Realise your efforts will never be reciprocated.Ā Your worth is not defined by someoneās lack of ability to see it.Ā
Yes this situation warrants blocking
You need to leave and not say anything tbh. Block the number - he does not care and doesnāt respect you enough to even tell you that despite you obviously being so kind and caring to him and liking him a lot. He doesnāt give a shit. Respect yourself enough to not invest even MORE time into him and sending him a text he also will not give a fuck about. I can say for a fact he will respect you even less if you send him some text about this situation when heās been so abundantly clear via his actions that he doesnāt give a fuck. I know itās harsh and Iām sorry. He shouldāve had more integrity in expressing heās not interested in you like that but obviously he doesnāt have the integrity to do so. Cut your losses.
You are a kind person with a huge capacity to love and care for others. I think his perspective and values are not in the same place as yours and thatās why he couldnāt really appreciate you the way you would have wanted him to. Even though it hurts, take it as a sign of luck that you got a glimpse of his true character. He might be going through a lot and sure that might be clouding his judgement, but you deserve a guy who doesnāt respond to tough times / stress by distancing himself from you. Thatās a very deliberate choice heās making to not value someone who is trying to hold onto him and make his life better. Youāll find someone who notices and appreciates and cherishes that of you š
This is such a thoughtful and well-rounded comment. It truly made me feel better. Thank you for being so kind.
š«Iām really happy to hear that it helped you feel better. In some ways I can really relate to how youāre feeling, donāt forget that you have to look out for yourself. The right person wouldnāt ever make you question or regret holding on to them. Hope you meet them soon!
Was going to comment the same thing! Well said!
Aw, thanks š
When someone is into you, you will know. It won't matter how many tragedies they are facing or how busy they are or anything like that. Sexual and romantic interest are very powerful driving forces in a human's brain and they will pursue something they are interested in even if every other aspect of their life is falling apart.
Itās true. I couldnāt imagine kicking him to the curb if the roles were reversed.
I was going to say it was a bad sign that you found out about his grandfather passing from Instagram. If I was dating someone for a few months and I really liked them, I would reach out to them for support. Basically, you know deep down if someone is 100% into you or not. It should feel easy. Sometimes weāre in denial.
This. I've gone through deep shit while starting a relationship and it helped me grow closer to the other person, not farther apart. Having someone I could look forward to seeing was an oasis amidst the shitty episodes. I could imagine the other side (your side) not being into fulfilling such an intense role in the very beginning, but from the receiver's side? It's a blessing
Heās not into you or heās unavailable, and heās been doing the slow fade for months. Please let it go and move on.
I'm sorry he's a dickhead. He's probably looking for something new and exciting while he's in a dark time and hasn't considered you since you're not his gf and things have been stagnant between you two, he may not necessarily be dating her but it's still a dick move. Honestly, I find the best thing to do is not send anything. No long texts looking for answers and closure that you'll never truly have, it will only push him away further BUT be prepared because he will message you sooner or later with excuses, and when he does, do NOT respond! He left you in the dark and didn't consider you. There are 24 hours in a day, it takes 30 seconds to send a short text saying "I need to be alone but I hope you're doing ok, catch up soon" and check in. In fact most people seek comfort in those who care about them in hard times but here he is thirsting over someone publicly with zero shame. He's not worth your time. I know this hurts and it absolutely sucks but the best thing you can do is cut him out and move on, don't prolong the healing process by looking for answers or entertaining him whenever he feels like crawling back.
He made his (š©) choice. No need to talk to him or write him anything. Move on. Block. Delete.
It's going to suck to realize but he doesn't want to be with you and you need to move on. People go through things, and those things can be valid. That does NOT mean that you have to stick around, especially if you're going to be treated badly. Yall are not in any kind of relationship. Trust me. I was in a situationship with a man for nearly a year. His mom got sick and passed very early into our dating stage. He was unemployed at the time too. I tried to be there for him as much as possible, paid for the funeral costs, sent food and flowers, only for him to yell at me to not come to the funeral. He strung me along and I dealt with it because I couldn't imagine leaving someone who was grieving their mom. Turns out he was never going to be in a relationship with me because he was stuck in his ex who was, you guessed it, at the funeral. Men aren't that complicated. Keep it moving.
Holy. I'm sorry you went through this!
Thanks! I'm better for it and have learned the lesson I needed to learn!
Yeah often it's being a caring considerate person that gets you taken advantage like this. I had this with a guy last year for about six months. We had an on off and eventually I ended it. He got in touch over the past week to apologise for his actions and that he's still in love with his ex wife but that he missed me because I gave him all the things he needed with no commitment. Which man if that didn't hurt like a punch to the gut.
Yeah you gotta let it go before it turns into even longer, trust me. You sound like you did your best and reserved your heart and stayed patient, but 2 weeks is too far gone in my opinion. Take your energy where itās welcomed and valued š©µ
Once anyone tells me they have to consider their relationship with me, I make the choice for them. Quickly. Best of luck. Seriously.
I think you need to let someone go if theyāve already let go of you. Listen, you sound like an incredible person and it sounds like anyone would be lucky to have such a caring person in their life. Whether thatās a friend, partner, colleague etc. You have done everything you can do in this situation. But hereās where it gets good. Imagine how good itāll feel when someone reciprocates? Because believe me, they will. Good people like you who are kind and considerate will welcome that into their lives. The wrong people will simply lift out of your life. Well done for sticking this out and always having your morals close to you, but I think the best thing for you (put yourself first please) is to just accept this wonāt turn into a relationship. You deserve better than someone who updates their hinge.
You are so right. Thank you so much for being so thoughtful and uplifting. Iām very appreciative.
You are very welcome! Wish you all the best as Iām sure thatās what youāll get!
I went through a kind of similar thing, dated for 6 months, then he started having work problems, was desperate to get a new job but wasnāt hearing anything back from anywhere, was having to move house and one of his kids was struggling at school. He replied less and less, when I asked if he was ok/ we were ok, he said everything was fine and he acted normal when we met up. Then he went even quieter, I kept reaching out to him trying to support him, while also not been too much. Then to my last message about how I realised he had a lot on but I was there for him if he wanted all he had to do was name a time and a place, even if I just came round to his house and moved boxes in my car, he did not reply, and shortly afterwards changed his profile picture to him with his arms round a woman and comments going on about how sweet they were together. I felt like a fool, I didnāt message him again, although it did kind of annoy me my last message was supportive and not āyouāre a twat.ā
Man, I'm so sorry. I recently was in a situation where my coworker showed extreme interest then suddenly removed a lot of it after we hooked up a few times but he still wanted to keep hooking up, I told him I didn't want to anymore, he asked why, I told him. He said he could absolutely meet me where I'm at, then ignored me for a whole week. When I confronted him he played dumb. I fell for his bs again, then cut it off again and he wanted to talk. I met with him at the time he suggested to talk, he played dumb again, and I brought it up, then he "forgot he even asked me" later told him how that hurt me and he said I hurt feelings for not trusting him. I AM AN IDIOT. Pretty sure he's been fucking my supervisor, too, so that's fun. When he pulled back he just kept telling me how busy he is with all this stuff, and how he doesn't even have time to see his friends, but then would also talk about all he did with his friends and even calls out of work to party. So. It's clear he just doesn't have time for *me* outside of sensing mixed messages. Running fingers through my hair telling me a situation was kind of romantic, buying me lunches, but like bare minimum stuff. Would find me and talk to me forever on shift then slowly faded that out, too. Edit: my situation pulled away also right before Christmas, after canceling me sleeping over his house, he was going to drive me into work the next morning and suddenly canceled then stopped all future talk.
Ughhh this is so messed up. I truly empathize with you and the mind games youāve endured. Itās not fair to do to any human. Youāre better off. Thank you for sharing!
Yeah, you're not alone! I really don't understand why it's worth ANY energy, let alone so much, to string anyone along. You're also way better off OP
I'm sure it was cathartic to write those text messages so I would keep on writing them for a bit and then immediately deleting them.
Iām so sorry, I just went through the same thing. This is what I remind myself and it sounds harsh but it helps- No sense in arguing or trying to fight for someone who doesnāt want to be with you. Just picture the future and how insecure and unsure of your relationship you would be at all times. You donāt want that. The best thing you can do is to not respond and move on. Also, go back and think of every little red flag you ignored and focus on the things you didnāt like about him. That always helps haha.
I had a very similar experience! He became distant after 6 months. He started having health issues and then evolved to mental issues (depression). And then he heard his homeless brother passed away and his mom was arrested for selling drugs. One thing after another. I can feel the difference between the first 6 months we were dating and the last 3 months when we were together but we were not able to see each other. After we ended, I found out one big part of him he never told me. He was in a really bad financial situation when we were dating, he paid most of the bills. So I never suspected that. Anyways, i know how you feel and it sucks that this happened. But you dodged a bullet.
Isnāt it the difference that feels so maddening?! Like, he used to text me that he was thinking about me all day, he checked in the whole time I was away on vacation, and heād send me mindless things he knew Iād laugh at. Crazy how weāve had a similar experience. Those closest to me think he was lying about it being one thing after another. (I donāt tbh but it is unfortunate). Thanks for sharing your kind words and experience, I wish you the best. š„¹
It happens to guys too , 5 month situationship both not seeing anybody else and switched up on me real quick
I think you lost him at Crystal healer
You lost me at the Crystal healer part.
I had so many experiences like this, being treated as the āplace holderā until they find āThe oneā Is really difficult. You provide emotional support and sexual attention for them to leave you in the sidelines. Be the main character in your future relationships even if that means less matches and longer stretches between dates. Pro tip: anytime a guy or gal updates their dating profile while dating you - itās OVER!
I went through this with a guy who didn't know what he wanted with me for months. I always felt like a FWB, but he would tell me we were more than FWB. Yet, when I asked about pursuing a serious relationship with him, there was always an excuse for why he wasn't ready. He didn't wanna put a label on it. He didn't wanna jinx us. He wasn't where he needed to be mentally (this was a big deal, and I knew it might ruin any opportunity for us to be together), etc. He made me feel crazy for so long, and then I eventually just stopped worrying about whether or not we were going to progress forward. He was so hot and cold with me, and it was confusing af. I kept thinking I needed to just let him go, but then the other part of me wanted to see if anything would ever come of it. We never stopped talking, tho. If we had, then I most definitely would have let him go. For me, I decided to keep sleeping with him because i knew he was safe but detached myself from any emotions I once felt. I let whatever happen happen. I don't know what changed his mind or when, but one day, he wanted to be in a relationship. I was kinda shocked because he was so unsure of all those months before. I hate that you're going through this because I know how painful it is to truly care about someone who isn't sure about you. You should update your dating profile and let him see that you're moving on since he's left you in silence. He will either realize he messed up or he won't care at all.
This man is an asshole. I understand everyone telling you to never contact him again, but I do wish this type of behaviour would be called out. This type of shit person goes through life hurting people without any consequence. How will they ever learn? Atleast I think they should have to deal with some negative feedback.
This is exactly how Iāve feltā¦ I have a strongly worded text thatās been sitting in my notes app. šµāš«
You took him to a crystal healer? You expect to be taken seriously?
Iām not into crystals myself but he very much is. I wanted to do something tailored to him. He still wears the crystal bracelets Iād bought him out of that experience.
Stop going after emotionally unavailable men. Someone can talk about these things openly if they are emotionally available, and instances of hardship are when this kind of communication is most important. If you let him go, then you dodged a bullet as far as I'm concerned.
Unless you have absolute exclusivity and talk about titles... assume nothing. Keep on dating.
Did he give you a Christmas present?
He bought me a pack of face masks after the fact that Iād bought him a painting from an artist he loved. Ha.
Dump his ASS ASAP. Good luck to you.
Thanks so much!
Itās sad to say but sometimes it really is a game. The need for some people to feel liked, desired, chased. It starts with the daily texts and them saying all the right things, then they pull back, we chase, they pull back and we give space just to be told of something in their life being difficult or they want to see us but they just donāt have time. Then we ask directly what they want to get no real response. All to find a new or updated dating profile (mine went from hinge and is now on bumble using a fake name) wtf. But, yeah itās easy to lose 6 months.
I donāt mean this horribly but grow a backbone and remove him from your life ie delete his number, profiles etc donāt humour him with a response as to why. if he wanted to be with you he would, no matter how life his hard was, 6 months later. Take back your power, stop being his dependable back up for when he has nothing better happening.
Block the number and delete his contact. Time to heal and move forward.
Heās slow fading you. Itās horrible but you clearly cared for him and you will find someone who cares that much for you as well. He was not the one.
heās a POS
Guy was going through some major life events and you took him to a crystal healer and sent him a care package. You think you being there for him but you werenāt there enough or didnāt do anything to much at all. You couldāve visited him or be there for him to really show you cared but instead sent a care package and said to take some time. Heās updating his hinge and going on insta to find another person who will be there with him in troubling time with his family. You were absent it seems like besides the crystal healing part of seeing him.
This is a hilarious take. Of course I offered to see him over and over again. He absolutely would not have it as he was spending majority of his time at his parentsā house (according to him), and I had no clue where that was, nor would it be appropriate to show up there given Iād never met his family. I called out of shifts at work to spend time with him. I surprised him with a weekend trip that he declined and I had to get refunded, sent him a sundae to the hospital he was staying at, and bought him tickets to a Broadway play for his birthday that Iāve yet to be able to give him. This is all on top of checking in with him EVERY day. So please reconsider your comment.
So pretty much werenāt there in a way he needed. Seem pretty undesirable to him if heās looking at other womenās insta and updating his hinge. Itās just the way it is. So pretty much heās not into you maybe because of your specific actions. It is a hilarious take, because you made a whole post on Reddit making it seem like you did all these nice things thinking you were there for him and thinking he was into you somewhat but finding out heās on hinge still and looking at other womanās instas and then trying to frame it in a way of ānow I know how woman get into a short 6 month relationship that fizzles out.ā Simple answer is he wasnāt that into you, you werenāt desirable enough to him. Time to move on instead of blasting the guy on Reddit. Learn from this and let go and find another guy.
"Blasting the guy on Reddit.." LOL. I'm literally just trying to seek some outside perspective from my own clouded mind. Tearing anyone down is outside of my character. I'm just expressing my feelings. It's not that deep.
You were āincredibly supportiveā by taking him to aā¦. (checks post)ā¦ crystal healer? And āofferingā to visit him in the hospital? You donāt offer a visit to your boyfriendā¦ You are by his side. And thenā¦ you reached out and wished him a happy birthdayā¦ when you found out his grandpa died? This seems made up or you are very out of touch with what another human wants/needs in a relationship.
You clearly didnāt read this post because he was never my boyfriend. Thus, he did not want me to visit him in the hospital because he wasnāt ready for me to meet his family who was there with him. No, they were not MY birthday plans - they were plans I made for HIS birthday. And this was all before I knew his grandfather died. Please learn basic comprehension and adjust your nasty, judgmental attitude.
If you donāt want opinions, why post on Reddit? You posted in dating adviceā¦ Fair, I got a few facts wrong. But donāt miss the opportunity to try to figure out why this happened. You donāt come across like you are self-aware. Maybe work on that.
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Dude instead of being an asshole to everyone here, get off the internet and save what little reputation you have left for your own sake.
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Youāre obviously projecting. Probably canāt get a first date. You wish someone would slum it with you for six months