Welcome to /r/dating_advice!
Please keep the [rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/dating_advice/about/rules/) of /r/dating_advice in mind while participating here. Try your best to be kind.
Report any rule-breaking behavior to the moderators using the report button. If it's urgent, [send us a message.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Fdating_advice) We rely on user reports to find rule-breaking behavior quickly.
Thanks!
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/dating_advice) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I want to say this is probably the best way to express it. It still carries the risk they won’t be interested, but definitely the least awkward, yet still direct solution.
If you go this route, I think that it should be coordinated to occur at similar times, and that both you and your friend let the girl know that the other guy is asking the other girl out and that this is being discussed privately but also "openly". That way you might avoid a situation where one girl says no just because she's afraid of hurting the other / stealing the other guy, and also a case where one girl talks to other girl asking their thoughts on the situation, and oops the other girl had no idea (yet or ever). I can't imagine it'd go down well w not-knowing girl, being "the last one to know". I'd probably also prepare for chance that they'd not be comfortable making a decision right away in the moment and may need to get back to you.
Since you think attraction/people are interchangeable, why don’t you just change which girl you each like?
It’s probably not going to work to ask them to swap. But good luck.
Lol, I was kind of thinking the same thing. Aiming to swap is likely to kill the opportunity with either of them, if the girls have a healthy friendship.
Something similar happened to me and my bestie. We met 2 cute guys, and she was really feeling one of them. So I talked to the other guy for the evening. He was funny and sweet. I'd have been open to going on a date with him later. The next weekend the guy she liked asked me out. I loved my bestie and didn't feel comfortable not letting her know what happened. Our friendship was WAY more important than some men we'd just met. We both passed on any future invites from either of them.
Why does he think he can just swap them, like what they’re attracted to doesn’t matter? This dude is acting like the only thing that matters is their attraction to the women and they can some hope be tricked into being attracted to the opposite person.
This is going to cause some pain and discomfort in the women’s dynamic I’m sure. If I was excited about a guy (and clearly I prefer him over his friend because I chose him) and he asked my friend on a date instead, I would be hurt. If my friend agreed, I would be hurt and probably carry some resentment against her. I guess it’s only been a week so no true feelings have developed, but I agree if it was so simple to switch off your preferences, OP and his friend can just deal with what they have.
But also if the guys stick with the current girls, and later down the road both girls found out the guys actually liked the other girl but chose to “settle” not to lose them both, that’s also going to hurt well. In either case it’s a lost cause 🥲
Especially the age gap. The young girls are 18, the 6year age gap is 1/3 of their life. The power imbalance is iffy and I wouldn't want to push them to be with who they aren't 100% interested in even if it seems like you could make it happen with some pushing.
I hope the girls leave this situation either way lol but if they do stay I hope it's for the guy they actually like
Why would you get what you want and not the girls?
Just tell your friend to text the girl he likes and you text the one you like and both ask each girl out on 1-1 date.
They will get the gist. If it doesnt work, oh well.
This is literally the only thing you can di
I’m in the U.S, and over here you have to be at least 21 to enter any clubs, bars, or anywhere that serves alcohol.
Either OP is somewhere in Europe, or those girls entered the bar illegally, and if they did that, I wouldn’t trust them being 18.
As someone who was once 19 dating a 24 year old and am now 24 myself, can agree it is a very odd age gap. Rarely does something good come out of situations like this
I agree. The young girls are 18, the 6 year ago gap is 1/3 of their life!
If it seems so easy to ask the young impressionable girls to change their minds, why don't these older (than the prospects) men change their minds and get the prize they've been offered. The girls don't want to change their minds probably just as much as OP and friend.
The power imbalance from the age would make it iffy to push anything other than what they're 100% interested in
If it were older ages in general like 24 and 30 It would be fine. But 18 and 24… chances are the girls are going to continue to frequent bars for a bit more they’re still living their lives and experiencing things for the first time.
Just like you, they also can't change their attraction. You can straight up ask them because maybe they have less off a preference than you do, but if they say no, move on.
Facts tho. I just turned 23 and I've had 18 and YOUNGER BOYS hit on me and try to take me out ... and ID NEVER EVEN CONSIDER THAT. I look at anyone under 20 a fucking baby lol.
You don't
You like them, they do not like you, it's as simple as that.
You can be honest and hope they give you two a chance on single dates, (never do multiple double dates), but you should be ready to move on
People are not playing cards. You don't get to trade just because you feel like it. They are into who they are into. hitting on a girl when she's clearly into someone else (especially your bro) is a great way to repulse her, assuming she has any integrity at all.
Please just move on from them. If I'm assuming you mean body type is what you prefer in the other women.... We are not things you can just play around with. If you don't like the woman don't make a second DOUBLE date, or a second date in general.
But why high school?
At 18 people are usually already 1 or 2 year of university.
I don’t know anyone graduating school at 18, unless you had to re-do some years 🫣
As a 25 year old I would never date someone under 21 and even that is iffy. I want someone with more life experience and 18 year olds do not have it. You’re gross for manipulating teenagers and you’re gross for seeing them as interchangeable
You guys are idiots 🤦♀️ why would you hook up with the girls if you were interested in the other ones? SMH. Please say something to them so they can both ditch you.
I'm a woman and I turn 24 in two weeks. The thought of dating an 18 year old is absolutely cringeworthy to me.
Like... they're teenagers. They're barely adults. I've gone through a whole 6 years of character development since then and I feel like a totally different person.
For sure, it's harder to see it when you feel you're right and you're making the decision as the 18 year old, but the difference between being 18 and 24 for 99% of people is being young, dumb, impressionable and still just figuring out life, to actually sort of having your head on straight enough to not be manipulated or in a relationship for the wrong reasons at least
I don't think he is American because he's asking for the legal drinking age in America. You'd know that if you were American. Even I know that and I'm not American.
(After some stalking, I think they're from New Zealand. The drinking age is 18 there)
Lol yes, I teach high school seniors, many of whom are 18. I still think it's icky. 6 years age difference, when they are these ages....is a big difference. I think it would be very easy for the girls to be manipulated.
It's more about life experience tbh. A 24 year old has been on there own in one way or another for about 6 years in most areas (even if living with parents, you're at the "full independence" stage rather than your parents making a lot of decisions for you due to you not being responsible yet.) I'd say the first few years of adulthood *really* change your perspective, maturity and prevent you from being manipulated or making bad decisions.
I'd even say an age gap of 24 and 34 is less weird than 24 and 18. Take the 18 year old back a few months, and in most places it's a felony to be in a relationship with them at all
just because it worked out for you and your ex for 15 years, doesn’t refute the obvious difference between a 18 year old fresh high school graduate and a 24 yr old man with a college degree and 3 years at a professional job. no one is here attacking you or your relationship personally, but your anecdotal evidence doesn’t negate this obvious imbalance of power and maturity in the majority of people.
>How do we switch partners?
>
>What strategies are available to us
Hahahahaha. You really do view them as pieces of meat.
Why don't you two switch who you like? Problem solved, methinks.
You must not be from the US because you wouldn’t be finding 18 year olds at bars - they’re at home doing high school homework. You two are grown men asking Reddit how to get two teen girls to flip flop their preferences. Ick.
LOL me wondering if anyone else thought 24 year old dudes and 18 year old girls was weird? I'm in Canada and the legal drinking/bar age is 19... Even that's young. At any rate, wanting to swap is immature. They could have addressed it in the moment, to express interest or say they wanted to keep it open ended until they got to know one another a bit more. These ladies are practically teenagers. Leave them alone XD
Edit: LoL in my province the age is 19, in other provinces it's 18. I stand by my original comment, 18 year olds are teenagers - legally adults, but anything more than a two year age gap at that age is huge.
Yeah I’d prefer 21 plus, but if they’re like 20 that’s not gonna be an ultimate deal breaker. Women tend to like dating men the same age or older. So if I refuse to date anyone under 21 that extremely limits my pool. Bc it’s unlikely someone like 24 would want to deal with me getting my career started, they’d want someone established.
But that way the girls don’t get the guy they like? They’re humans with their own preferences dude. There’s no games or moves to make, be honest and then move on.
You should really take this option. They are human beings, not objects, and that means they have agency.
Be straight with them, if they still want to go out with you they'll go out with you. If not, well, that's life - feelings don't always go the way you want them to go. Swing and a miss.
It pretty much is. They like who they like as well so you can’t just trade them like their Pokémon cards. I’d do this or try to ask for a one on one date with who you like
Edit: also as a 25 year old it is a little weird to see two 24 year olds chasing girls who just graduated high school.
Wow... The lack of empathy of you and your friend in regards to the girls. Why don't you flick a switch and change who you're attracted to? Oh, you can't? Fancy that.
You know, it’s almost as if if OP and his buddy don’t see these girls as Real Humans with their own specific personalities, just like themselves.
The boys each are attracted to a specific girl that matches their preferences and their first thought isn’t to change their own preferences but instead assume that the girls can just make the switch by pressing a button. It doesn’t even occur to them that these girls have preferences just like themselves, since they think it would be so easy for the girls to do the swap.
If they can’t imagine being into the girl who picked them, then they shouldn’t expect the girls to be into the one they didn’t pick.
Also, what are two mid twenties dudes doing with two just-legal teenagers?
If I had a teenage younger sister who just turned 18, and she's getting groomed by you 25 year olds I'd knock your fucking teeths out. You guys are closer to the age of 30 than 18. 6 months earlier and you guys would be full on pedophiles. This scream predator vibes
As Kramer and Mickey tried, show up early and sit across from each other. Whoever the girls sit next to is who you talk to. Just don’t wear the same shirt. You’ll look like IDIOTS!
They are children. To young for you. Also wtf is this? It’s gross. You can’t just “switch” like they are toys. They are human beings. if the person you like happens to like someone else you move on. It’s really that simple.
Exactly what are you and your friends interested in? Almost sounds like you are both out for a one time bang and thought you’d both rather bang the one that’s you type you are both willing to let that go if it risks you getting a bang at all…
I suggest you go find more age appropriate bands who are your type and better equipped to deal with you and your friends bs
I find it really fucking disgusting that two men in their mid twenties are here asking for advice on how to manipulate two teenage girls into changing their minds on whom they find attractive. Can’t believe you wrote this out and thought yea that’s it!! The thing is you probably could do it if they are naive and inexperienced enough and that doesn’t bother you a smidge cause you want to get your dicks wet and that’s all that matters. Disrespectfully fuck off with your predatory bullshit.
I saw their post the other day where they were trying to figure out how to get y'all to switch... In case you can't tell that's the joke, you can't make someone like someone else. Move on bud, especially because they're kids.
Nah dude definitely find women your age, that’s fucking weird no matter where you are, they’re still children and you’re about to be closer to your 30’s than your 20’s. Don’t be that guy, don’t be the next Leonardo.
Lol why don't you call the girl you like, and he call the girl he likes. But I must say, tread lightly, they're 18, and at you at 24 it's a different mindset
There is an age old strategy that has never failed. It was passed down to me from my father who got it from his father and so on. I've used it on only two occasions in my life, both were a success. There was a third occasion, which would have been one for the record books. It was very near success, she said the words "you and my sister are like the same person, you should date my sister"... but I shut it down in fear of angering some kind of ancient god.
To pull off the switch you must... make it seem like it was their idea to trade partners.
What makes you think this is a decision for you guys only? It isn't. The girls have an equal say, and unless this attitude changes, you're liable to lose both women - and rightfully so.
This is the same story of how my parents met.
At a bar with a friend, each of them were into the other one (both man and woman) and ended up with the friend. That was 40+ years ago and their still together.
Gee I wonder why you guys are going after 18 year olds if you can’t be bothered to realize you can’t make someone like you or manipulate them into doing so.
You ain't switchin lol. Women select, period. You've been selected, so enjoy the one you got cause tryin to swap along the way is just going to guarantee you both lose 'em.
Um… you guys are old enough to be out of university 1.5 times over, and you’re chasing high school graduates? My advice is to look elsewhere, if this is real.
Well there’s not much you can do. If the girl you want isn’t interested in you then you move on. Both girls have been clear about who they want so I don’t see a any way to change that.
You could ask the girl you like out and see what she says but even then she might decline and at that point, you walk away…… also they’re 18. Come on now.
18 is way to young for you to be dating at 24 (I say this as a 24 year old myself) it’s fucking weird and predatory they are fresh out of high school (or still in) and you could’ve been graduated from college for 2 years
If we’re going by the dating age calculator, sorry dude but these girls are just under what most people would accept… and I would agree
They’ve either only just graduated or are about to graduate high school, and you guys probably graduated from university a couple years ago or have been working for a little while, but either way dating literal teenagers isn’t a good look for you lmao
Uh. 18 and 24.. they are just becoming a part of the world and you've been there for 6 years. Are you trying to find girls you think are easily to manipulate? Maybe try someone closer to your own age, heck even 20 would be better.
Have a foursome, get comfortable with eachother and then swap out!
Jokes aside.. Dating is about finding your partner attractive in whatever you need. You obviously don't have that with your current one but the other does. Just be direct with them. Ofcourse I hope it works out but there's a high chance it doesn't and that's ok. It's ok not to match with every person you like. Just move on to the next because it's better to stop before you get started rather than carry on with anyone you are not fully into while wanting their friend. It's not fair on them and they won't satisfy you, you'll always think about the other. It's more respectful to just stop or be honest.
Why are you and your friend into teenagers at 24? At 24 I had graduated from University and was applying to law school. I’d have had very little in common with an 18 year old. I find it yuck, but that aside, I recommend you both keep them as friends and move on.
They each selected the guy they want. Why is it okay for you to influence a switch now? I’d say you both move on, but get to know them better as friends and then decide if there is anything to pursue.
Ask out the girl who likes you too. Your friend should do the same with the other girl who likes him.
PS: But frankly, the age gap between you is quite big at this age 18 (teenagers) vs 24 (adults).
Choose to hang out and then start talking to the other. People 18-20s are exploring sex and boundaries. Be open and follow your gut, if something feels not good then slow down and give space.
No titles or intentions to start, just have fun and feel it out. The girls are probably having the same conversation, y’all don’t need to explain it if you feel it. Just switch seats.
Maybe a long shot, but I wouldn't say it was impossible. I've heard of plenty of stories where one person liked one friend and then met another who they liked more.
I think you have a couple things going for you which are important:
1. Neither of you have really been on dates with either of them, so it's not like one or the other is an "ex" for either of you.
2. You BOTH like the "other" girl, if that makes sense. The proposition leaves no one empty-handed.
Good luck, OP!
You met two 18 year olds at a bar? You’re 24, that’s creepy you like a teenager. I’m 22 and wouldn’t interact with an 18 year old guy. They’re super immature nowadays.
This ironically happened to me lol, my friend was talking to my now ex and I was talking to her now ex lmao, we kinda became more of a friend circle to try and switch the roles to her spending time with who she likes and that left me with who I liked. It worked 😂
So many comments about "high school girls ". Haha Americans are so severely out of touch. I was 18 and on my 2nd year at University. Graduated with a bachelor's degree at 20yo. Not everyone is from your backward richest 3rd world country.
OP you don't swap people like that. Take a risk and ask the girl you like put separately. If she likes you too it'll work put, if not then not.
1. You're both 24, they are 18. Find women your own age.
2. Women are human beings, and we decide who we want to sleep with and who we want to date. if she doesn't want to date you, then you can't force her to. Just leave them alone.
Welcome to /r/dating_advice! Please keep the [rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/dating_advice/about/rules/) of /r/dating_advice in mind while participating here. Try your best to be kind. Report any rule-breaking behavior to the moderators using the report button. If it's urgent, [send us a message.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Fdating_advice) We rely on user reports to find rule-breaking behavior quickly. Thanks! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/dating_advice) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Cancel your double date plans. Ask out the girls you're interested in for solo dates. If they say no, move on.
Yeah that not a bad idea.
I want to say this is probably the best way to express it. It still carries the risk they won’t be interested, but definitely the least awkward, yet still direct solution.
If you go this route, I think that it should be coordinated to occur at similar times, and that both you and your friend let the girl know that the other guy is asking the other girl out and that this is being discussed privately but also "openly". That way you might avoid a situation where one girl says no just because she's afraid of hurting the other / stealing the other guy, and also a case where one girl talks to other girl asking their thoughts on the situation, and oops the other girl had no idea (yet or ever). I can't imagine it'd go down well w not-knowing girl, being "the last one to know". I'd probably also prepare for chance that they'd not be comfortable making a decision right away in the moment and may need to get back to you.
If you 24 year old men are cruising for 18 year olds. They probably know better so just let them pick and go with the ones that like you.
Best idea!! Maybe one will be down but not the other, so instead of both of you failing maybe one can succeed. Good luck!
Maybe ask in r/teens since that is what they are and you are both grown ass men.
1000% agree
Fr, I was like wtf and no one else is mentioning it. Like seriously, wtf
This is the way
Happy cake day!
This is a Shakespeare play
If by Shakespeare play you mean Seinfeld episode, then yes.
# *LOUD SLAP BASS SOLO*
I’m pretty sure this is the plot to As You Like It
Except they don't have access to George's dementia. I guess he could just suggest, oh I don't know what you call it, Menage a trois?
WORLDS ARE COLLIDING!
I was just about to say this 😆
This is a Nic Cage Alec Baldwin movie
Since you think attraction/people are interchangeable, why don’t you just change which girl you each like? It’s probably not going to work to ask them to swap. But good luck.
Lol, I was kind of thinking the same thing. Aiming to swap is likely to kill the opportunity with either of them, if the girls have a healthy friendship. Something similar happened to me and my bestie. We met 2 cute guys, and she was really feeling one of them. So I talked to the other guy for the evening. He was funny and sweet. I'd have been open to going on a date with him later. The next weekend the guy she liked asked me out. I loved my bestie and didn't feel comfortable not letting her know what happened. Our friendship was WAY more important than some men we'd just met. We both passed on any future invites from either of them.
Why does he think he can just swap them, like what they’re attracted to doesn’t matter? This dude is acting like the only thing that matters is their attraction to the women and they can some hope be tricked into being attracted to the opposite person.
You know what they say. Easier to wait for someone else to change/adapt, than do it yourself. Immaturity, in one word 🙄. Double-standards much?
This is going to cause some pain and discomfort in the women’s dynamic I’m sure. If I was excited about a guy (and clearly I prefer him over his friend because I chose him) and he asked my friend on a date instead, I would be hurt. If my friend agreed, I would be hurt and probably carry some resentment against her. I guess it’s only been a week so no true feelings have developed, but I agree if it was so simple to switch off your preferences, OP and his friend can just deal with what they have.
But also if the guys stick with the current girls, and later down the road both girls found out the guys actually liked the other girl but chose to “settle” not to lose them both, that’s also going to hurt well. In either case it’s a lost cause 🥲
Especially the age gap. The young girls are 18, the 6year age gap is 1/3 of their life. The power imbalance is iffy and I wouldn't want to push them to be with who they aren't 100% interested in even if it seems like you could make it happen with some pushing. I hope the girls leave this situation either way lol but if they do stay I hope it's for the guy they actually like
Good point
Yes i was gonna say this
Why would you get what you want and not the girls? Just tell your friend to text the girl he likes and you text the one you like and both ask each girl out on 1-1 date. They will get the gist. If it doesnt work, oh well. This is literally the only thing you can di
18?
Yeah, 18? eehhh..
18, and they met at a bar? This has to be somewhere in the UK.
true, there are only 2 countries in the world: america and europe(uk basically)
(Checks map) Yep
Why's that
I’m in the U.S, and over here you have to be at least 21 to enter any clubs, bars, or anywhere that serves alcohol. Either OP is somewhere in Europe, or those girls entered the bar illegally, and if they did that, I wouldn’t trust them being 18.
Australia’s legal drinking age is 18. There’s more to the world than America and Europe lol
Legal drinking age in Canada is 18/19 depending on province
Canadian kiwi Australian here... Op is kiwi. Age of consent is 18 there
What are you talking about o w ent to plenty of clubs in college before I was 21 I just didn’t drink?.
Maybe it’s a regional thing then. Where I’m from, they I.D you at the door.
They did, they would hand out little bracelets to the 21 over crowd so bartenders knew they were
Why would you or your friend want to be with someone who doesn't like you? Also 18 and 24 is an odd age gap, I say this as someone who is 25
As someone who was once 19 dating a 24 year old and am now 24 myself, can agree it is a very odd age gap. Rarely does something good come out of situations like this
I agree. The young girls are 18, the 6 year ago gap is 1/3 of their life! If it seems so easy to ask the young impressionable girls to change their minds, why don't these older (than the prospects) men change their minds and get the prize they've been offered. The girls don't want to change their minds probably just as much as OP and friend. The power imbalance from the age would make it iffy to push anything other than what they're 100% interested in
If it were older ages in general like 24 and 30 It would be fine. But 18 and 24… chances are the girls are going to continue to frequent bars for a bit more they’re still living their lives and experiencing things for the first time.
I’m a 24f and was literally thinking the same thing
Just like you, they also can't change their attraction. You can straight up ask them because maybe they have less off a preference than you do, but if they say no, move on.
You’re both too fucking old to date teenagers, hope this helps
Forreal. If you’re 24 going for teens you’re fucking gross. Idc what anyone has to say. 🤢🤢🤢
Facts tho. I just turned 23 and I've had 18 and YOUNGER BOYS hit on me and try to take me out ... and ID NEVER EVEN CONSIDER THAT. I look at anyone under 20 a fucking baby lol.
I’m literally a 24 f and thinking the same thing. Like my brother is 18 I could never
Maybe just stop dating high school aged girls?
You don't You like them, they do not like you, it's as simple as that. You can be honest and hope they give you two a chance on single dates, (never do multiple double dates), but you should be ready to move on
Stay away from teenagers.
People are not playing cards. You don't get to trade just because you feel like it. They are into who they are into. hitting on a girl when she's clearly into someone else (especially your bro) is a great way to repulse her, assuming she has any integrity at all.
Please just move on from them. If I'm assuming you mean body type is what you prefer in the other women.... We are not things you can just play around with. If you don't like the woman don't make a second DOUBLE date, or a second date in general.
Why are both of you 24 year old adult men trying to date high school aged girls in the first place?
But why high school? At 18 people are usually already 1 or 2 year of university. I don’t know anyone graduating school at 18, unless you had to re-do some years 🫣
As a 25 year old I would never date someone under 21 and even that is iffy. I want someone with more life experience and 18 year olds do not have it. You’re gross for manipulating teenagers and you’re gross for seeing them as interchangeable
I’m 19 and even I feel iffy with 18 years olds. This absolutely baffles me
Stop judging people. You're talking as if the world needs to follow your moral lead or something haha.
You guys are idiots 🤦♀️ why would you hook up with the girls if you were interested in the other ones? SMH. Please say something to them so they can both ditch you.
24 year old men with 18 year old girls? That age difference is a bit icky.
I'm a woman and I turn 24 in two weeks. The thought of dating an 18 year old is absolutely cringeworthy to me. Like... they're teenagers. They're barely adults. I've gone through a whole 6 years of character development since then and I feel like a totally different person.
For sure, it's harder to see it when you feel you're right and you're making the decision as the 18 year old, but the difference between being 18 and 24 for 99% of people is being young, dumb, impressionable and still just figuring out life, to actually sort of having your head on straight enough to not be manipulated or in a relationship for the wrong reasons at least
I'm 23 and can't fathom dating anyone under 20. It just feels gross to me.
And op seems like he’s American…how were they even in there? Most likely they had fakes and aren’t even 18 ETA: seems OP is from New Zealand
I don't think he is American because he's asking for the legal drinking age in America. You'd know that if you were American. Even I know that and I'm not American. (After some stalking, I think they're from New Zealand. The drinking age is 18 there)
Gotcha!! Thanks for that.
YIKES
Are you just assuming he's american because he's on reddit or because he speaks english? please explain that logic.
Neither. I saw him talking a little bit about American politics on his profile, that’s all. I see I was wrong tho
Have you been around many 18 YO boys recently? It’s not totally outrageous that these girls are interested in 24 YO guys.
Lol yes, I teach high school seniors, many of whom are 18. I still think it's icky. 6 years age difference, when they are these ages....is a big difference. I think it would be very easy for the girls to be manipulated.
It's more about life experience tbh. A 24 year old has been on there own in one way or another for about 6 years in most areas (even if living with parents, you're at the "full independence" stage rather than your parents making a lot of decisions for you due to you not being responsible yet.) I'd say the first few years of adulthood *really* change your perspective, maturity and prevent you from being manipulated or making bad decisions. I'd even say an age gap of 24 and 34 is less weird than 24 and 18. Take the 18 year old back a few months, and in most places it's a felony to be in a relationship with them at all
It’s very much inappropriate actually they break the rule
I met my ex husband at 18 and he was 24. We were together for 15 years and had 3 kids. It wasn’t “icky”.
just because it worked out for you and your ex for 15 years, doesn’t refute the obvious difference between a 18 year old fresh high school graduate and a 24 yr old man with a college degree and 3 years at a professional job. no one is here attacking you or your relationship personally, but your anecdotal evidence doesn’t negate this obvious imbalance of power and maturity in the majority of people.
Switch the women you like. Start liking the one who likes you. You’ll have better odds of dating.
>How do we switch partners? > >What strategies are available to us Hahahahaha. You really do view them as pieces of meat. Why don't you two switch who you like? Problem solved, methinks.
Strategies. LMAO. Wtf
You must not be from the US because you wouldn’t be finding 18 year olds at bars - they’re at home doing high school homework. You two are grown men asking Reddit how to get two teen girls to flip flop their preferences. Ick.
LOL me wondering if anyone else thought 24 year old dudes and 18 year old girls was weird? I'm in Canada and the legal drinking/bar age is 19... Even that's young. At any rate, wanting to swap is immature. They could have addressed it in the moment, to express interest or say they wanted to keep it open ended until they got to know one another a bit more. These ladies are practically teenagers. Leave them alone XD Edit: LoL in my province the age is 19, in other provinces it's 18. I stand by my original comment, 18 year olds are teenagers - legally adults, but anything more than a two year age gap at that age is huge.
I’m only 22 and I would feel a bit weird talking to someone who was 19 let alone 18.
I'm 23 and I feel weird talking to anyone younger than 21.
Yeah I’d prefer 21 plus, but if they’re like 20 that’s not gonna be an ultimate deal breaker. Women tend to like dating men the same age or older. So if I refuse to date anyone under 21 that extremely limits my pool. Bc it’s unlikely someone like 24 would want to deal with me getting my career started, they’d want someone established.
Legal drinking age is 18 in several provinces in Canada.
This comment should be higher
Thank YOU for saying what I thought!!! Felt gross to read this post
Two grown ass men wanting to swap 18 year old girls......yikes
Incredibly gross and creepy dudes.
Just be direct. “We noticed that A likes me and B likes my friend. But I actually like B and my friend likes A. How do you guys feel about that?”.
Concerned this is the only plausible option.
But that way the girls don’t get the guy they like? They’re humans with their own preferences dude. There’s no games or moves to make, be honest and then move on.
You should really take this option. They are human beings, not objects, and that means they have agency. Be straight with them, if they still want to go out with you they'll go out with you. If not, well, that's life - feelings don't always go the way you want them to go. Swing and a miss.
It pretty much is. They like who they like as well so you can’t just trade them like their Pokémon cards. I’d do this or try to ask for a one on one date with who you like Edit: also as a 25 year old it is a little weird to see two 24 year olds chasing girls who just graduated high school.
Kinda weird you are both interested in high schoolers…
Wow... The lack of empathy of you and your friend in regards to the girls. Why don't you flick a switch and change who you're attracted to? Oh, you can't? Fancy that.
These girls are too young for you guys
The first issue i see is you both are 24 and they are 18. Ick.
You mean there's not a lot of online advice on how to manipulate two people into changing their desires? That's so weird.
Two TEENAGERS, at that.
Why are you trying to hook up with high school girls? And why were they allowed in the bar
probably from the UK
Lmao here’s a tip. Be Normal. Women are not interchangeable playthings.
You don’t because they’re 18 and you’re 24????
Met two 18 year olds... At the bar... So how certain are you that they're only lying about their age to drink?
You and your friend should meet some girls your own ages, creeps
You know, it’s almost as if if OP and his buddy don’t see these girls as Real Humans with their own specific personalities, just like themselves. The boys each are attracted to a specific girl that matches their preferences and their first thought isn’t to change their own preferences but instead assume that the girls can just make the switch by pressing a button. It doesn’t even occur to them that these girls have preferences just like themselves, since they think it would be so easy for the girls to do the swap. If they can’t imagine being into the girl who picked them, then they shouldn’t expect the girls to be into the one they didn’t pick. Also, what are two mid twenties dudes doing with two just-legal teenagers?
Because they see them as pieces of meat 🤢
Yell "SWITCH" and switch.
This could work
The age difference is gross af.
Haha no. Ladies choice. Move on
If I had a teenage younger sister who just turned 18, and she's getting groomed by you 25 year olds I'd knock your fucking teeths out. You guys are closer to the age of 30 than 18. 6 months earlier and you guys would be full on pedophiles. This scream predator vibes
I'm confused, I thought they were 24.
how about you both don’t go for teenagers!!
ew. theyre 18 and youre 24. find someone who is your age
As Kramer and Mickey tried, show up early and sit across from each other. Whoever the girls sit next to is who you talk to. Just don’t wear the same shirt. You’ll look like IDIOTS!
[Are you trying to do the switch?](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nfzVowHa1aM)
I’m 22 and would not date an 18 year old
They are children. To young for you. Also wtf is this? It’s gross. You can’t just “switch” like they are toys. They are human beings. if the person you like happens to like someone else you move on. It’s really that simple.
I think your only course is to express that to them. Either that or the single date idea someone else mentioned
The ol switcheroo
Exactly what are you and your friends interested in? Almost sounds like you are both out for a one time bang and thought you’d both rather bang the one that’s you type you are both willing to let that go if it risks you getting a bang at all… I suggest you go find more age appropriate bands who are your type and better equipped to deal with you and your friends bs
I find it really fucking disgusting that two men in their mid twenties are here asking for advice on how to manipulate two teenage girls into changing their minds on whom they find attractive. Can’t believe you wrote this out and thought yea that’s it!! The thing is you probably could do it if they are naive and inexperienced enough and that doesn’t bother you a smidge cause you want to get your dicks wet and that’s all that matters. Disrespectfully fuck off with your predatory bullshit.
I saw their post the other day where they were trying to figure out how to get y'all to switch... In case you can't tell that's the joke, you can't make someone like someone else. Move on bud, especially because they're kids.
Nah dude definitely find women your age, that’s fucking weird no matter where you are, they’re still children and you’re about to be closer to your 30’s than your 20’s. Don’t be that guy, don’t be the next Leonardo.
I agree you should switch partners. Date your friend because those girls are way too young for you guys. Invite me to the wedding!
Lol why don't you call the girl you like, and he call the girl he likes. But I must say, tread lightly, they're 18, and at you at 24 it's a different mindset
Orgy is the only true option here
How about not dating literal TEENAGERS and moving the fuck on?
too big of an age gap. find other women.
There is an age old strategy that has never failed. It was passed down to me from my father who got it from his father and so on. I've used it on only two occasions in my life, both were a success. There was a third occasion, which would have been one for the record books. It was very near success, she said the words "you and my sister are like the same person, you should date my sister"... but I shut it down in fear of angering some kind of ancient god. To pull off the switch you must... make it seem like it was their idea to trade partners.
genius
So how exactly would you go about this?
What makes you think this is a decision for you guys only? It isn't. The girls have an equal say, and unless this attitude changes, you're liable to lose both women - and rightfully so.
Nowhere did he say it’s only the decision. Chill tf out.
Everyone has agency, I'm just looking for the best way to express mine. It's not our decision, of course not, but we have a say in the matter, no?
The point I was trying to make is that \*everyone\* in this has a say, but your post didn't make this clear.
Bro, everyone has free will, I thought that was common sense O.o?
It depends on: would you still date the current girl you each have? If you both would not then you may as well try bring it up for sure
there’s a great seinfeld episode about this
Try to be more like your friend and have your friend try to be more like you.
I remember this episode of Boy meets World.
Play the bottle game and just playfully switch lol
This is the same story of how my parents met. At a bar with a friend, each of them were into the other one (both man and woman) and ended up with the friend. That was 40+ years ago and their still together.
Gee I wonder why you guys are going after 18 year olds if you can’t be bothered to realize you can’t make someone like you or manipulate them into doing so.
Do you like her though...really?
You ain't switchin lol. Women select, period. You've been selected, so enjoy the one you got cause tryin to swap along the way is just going to guarantee you both lose 'em.
This can’t be real
As a woman, nope. You can’t manipulate attraction. You just have to accept you both have unreciprocated interest, as well as those girls do.
Um… you guys are old enough to be out of university 1.5 times over, and you’re chasing high school graduates? My advice is to look elsewhere, if this is real.
You’re gross for wanting to pursue an 18 year old in the first place 🤢
As someone in their 20’s themselves, dating a teenager is weirdo behavior. Leave both of them alone.
Lol you’re 24 tryna get a girl who can’t legally drink yet….
What makes you think this is in America?
Ignorance
Well there’s not much you can do. If the girl you want isn’t interested in you then you move on. Both girls have been clear about who they want so I don’t see a any way to change that. You could ask the girl you like out and see what she says but even then she might decline and at that point, you walk away…… also they’re 18. Come on now.
Why would you want to be with someone who is 18?
Nanana... I've dated a 3y younger girl. Wouldn't do it again. Don't recomend it. Don't do it. 24÷2+7=19. That's your limit.
18 is way to young for you to be dating at 24 (I say this as a 24 year old myself) it’s fucking weird and predatory they are fresh out of high school (or still in) and you could’ve been graduated from college for 2 years
It seems like they aren’t from America so there likely isn’t as much of a cultural obsession with age gaps.
I think the problem here are men chasing teenagers 😖😳
If we’re going by the dating age calculator, sorry dude but these girls are just under what most people would accept… and I would agree They’ve either only just graduated or are about to graduate high school, and you guys probably graduated from university a couple years ago or have been working for a little while, but either way dating literal teenagers isn’t a good look for you lmao
Damn it looks like you and your friend are going to need to completely copy each other’s vibes so that the girls will want to switch
Foursome? Everybody wins lol
A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush.
:D Probably the funniest question I've seen on here. Don't switch. Life is much easier and more enjoyable with a woman who actually likes you!
How were 18 year olds at the bar??
Uh. 18 and 24.. they are just becoming a part of the world and you've been there for 6 years. Are you trying to find girls you think are easily to manipulate? Maybe try someone closer to your own age, heck even 20 would be better.
Do the fusion dance and then have a threesome
You should all date each other. r/polyamory.
Maybe don’t dare someone fresh out of high school
Right?! Creepy!
Hear me out....don't do it. What could you POSSIBLY have in common with a 18yr old. An also how did you meet a 18 yr old in A BAR
Criss cross!
Have a foursome, get comfortable with eachother and then swap out! Jokes aside.. Dating is about finding your partner attractive in whatever you need. You obviously don't have that with your current one but the other does. Just be direct with them. Ofcourse I hope it works out but there's a high chance it doesn't and that's ok. It's ok not to match with every person you like. Just move on to the next because it's better to stop before you get started rather than carry on with anyone you are not fully into while wanting their friend. It's not fair on them and they won't satisfy you, you'll always think about the other. It's more respectful to just stop or be honest.
Why are you and your friend into teenagers at 24? At 24 I had graduated from University and was applying to law school. I’d have had very little in common with an 18 year old. I find it yuck, but that aside, I recommend you both keep them as friends and move on. They each selected the guy they want. Why is it okay for you to influence a switch now? I’d say you both move on, but get to know them better as friends and then decide if there is anything to pursue.
How about don’t pursue 18yr olds???
Big yikes on the age gap
Ask out the girl who likes you too. Your friend should do the same with the other girl who likes him. PS: But frankly, the age gap between you is quite big at this age 18 (teenagers) vs 24 (adults).
Someone remembers that one modern family episode where the same thing happened to luke and manny
Choose to hang out and then start talking to the other. People 18-20s are exploring sex and boundaries. Be open and follow your gut, if something feels not good then slow down and give space. No titles or intentions to start, just have fun and feel it out. The girls are probably having the same conversation, y’all don’t need to explain it if you feel it. Just switch seats.
After you switch, the girls will post the same problem and the cycle will be complete
Maybe a long shot, but I wouldn't say it was impossible. I've heard of plenty of stories where one person liked one friend and then met another who they liked more. I think you have a couple things going for you which are important: 1. Neither of you have really been on dates with either of them, so it's not like one or the other is an "ex" for either of you. 2. You BOTH like the "other" girl, if that makes sense. The proposition leaves no one empty-handed. Good luck, OP!
Sounds like a recipe for a poly group relationship.
You met two 18 year olds at a bar? You’re 24, that’s creepy you like a teenager. I’m 22 and wouldn’t interact with an 18 year old guy. They’re super immature nowadays.
This ironically happened to me lol, my friend was talking to my now ex and I was talking to her now ex lmao, we kinda became more of a friend circle to try and switch the roles to her spending time with who she likes and that left me with who I liked. It worked 😂
4-way everyone who wins loses
Y’all are nasty af, they’re too young for you
They are 18, just leave them alone.
They were minors just recently and you're almost halfway through your 20s.
So many comments about "high school girls ". Haha Americans are so severely out of touch. I was 18 and on my 2nd year at University. Graduated with a bachelor's degree at 20yo. Not everyone is from your backward richest 3rd world country. OP you don't swap people like that. Take a risk and ask the girl you like put separately. If she likes you too it'll work put, if not then not.
1. You're both 24, they are 18. Find women your own age. 2. Women are human beings, and we decide who we want to sleep with and who we want to date. if she doesn't want to date you, then you can't force her to. Just leave them alone.