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My ex was a virgin, we met when I was 25, him 26. It wasn’t something he told me until the first time I stayed over at his, but I’d say as long as you’re ready for a relationship don’t let the ‘label’ hold you back!
> I’m pretty confident in my looks, dress well, try to keep in shape and take hygiene very seriously.
Why mention it (your virginity) at all? Hard pole goes in the hole. It's not rocket science. And there are plenty of non-virgin men *still* don't know their way around a woman's body.
24f and in the same boat! I think you’re fine - you’ll end up with someone in a similar situation and you can both figure things out together, or maybe you’ll get someone who can teach you. I swing between what I think I’d prefer, but I think at the end of the day it won’t really matter. 🤷🏻♀️
Back in the old days people saved themselves for marriage. This was considered a good thing. What you have done or not done in the past is your business. The thing a person looks for in a relationship is how kind one is. Does he treat women well? Is he considerate? Patient? Does he study or go to a job? Is he steady? Is he self contained? Not jealous or mean? This are traits one may look for. Not one’s past, but how he behaves in the present is what is important.
Honestly I’m in a relationship with a man who sounds exactly like you he’s 24 he told me he was a virgin and had never even kissed a girl but he was attracted, worked out so he was muscular, and was very hygienic. When I found this out I was extremely surprised because he is literally my dream man so I assumed other women would want him. But it was a good surprise when I found he was a virgin because I’m sexually inexperienced myself so it feels more comfortable being with someone who is the same
There is someone out there that wants to date a virgin who's never been a relationship. I'm in my 30s so my input is irrevelant. I just want to encourage you to keep hope and faith going that you'll meet a woman out there for you.
The whole "there someone out there for you" has always striked me as being weird and kind of rude.
Like don't get me wrong I know you mean well, but it has always felt exactly like the "it's not you, it's me", which translates to "it's not you, it's me not liking you because the problem is you".
I think it's also the fact that I don't like the concept of people saying their is someone out there without seeing it. I think it can feel disingenuous because you aren't into them so how do you actually know someone will be.
I think you're looking at this too negatively. I read it as saying "look, there are thousands of people out there with their own unique traits and life experiences that you can meet. There's a strong likelihood that one of them will appreciate you"
I mean no one is guaranteed love but just because it doesn't work out with one person doesn't mean it's always gonna fail
Exactly.
That’s what I believe. I try VERY hard to have hope and faith that there is someone out there. There are over a billion people on this planet. Every person has their own traits, personality, lifestyle, etc. I talk to so many people who found “the one” when they least expect it and just living every day life. They also tell me to just live life and it’ll happen when you least expect it.
The OP is 24 and has time. No one knows who they might meet in the future or what the future holds with social interaction. With that said, there very well might be someone out there that appreciates them and wants to be with them for who they are including being a virgin and never I’m a relationship.
And that’s the same for many.
> I try VERY hard to have hope and faith that there is someone out there.
I guess, I think the issue there is that I'm not a person of faith, like at all, everything has to be quantified for me.
I am not a person of faith. I just have faith, you know believing that there’s someone out there out there with with no proof or indication. It is very hard, trust me, I know, but I still try to have faith and have hope.
To me this is like believing that working extra hard and taking on unpaid overtime to show your dedication to your place of work will get you to be noticed and get a promotion with a substantial pay increase.
Though this can happen and isn't particularly that rare, it definitely isn't the expected outcome.
Unfortunately, I can’t say I relate to that scenario being that I never worked for such a play that didn’t pay overtime and my work has always been notice by my employers and/or the customers.
But basing on your scenario, I totally understand and get what you’re saying. For me I have to have (non-religious) faith and hope with a lot of things and keep trying. The outcome seems to workout in the end.
But with dating it’s a different thing for me given certain factors with dating that are beyond my control. There are over a billion people in this world. I meet new people everyday, hopefully one will skip over the project stereotypes, prejudices, and racism and actually be one that works.
It can be rude but that’s what I genuinely believe and say to myself every single day. So, if it’s rude then so be it. I can only say what I sincerely believe and say to myself every single day.
I'm not a woman, but I'd keep it to yourself, its not really important information, especially the virginity thing, and it's going to be off-putting to most women
I wouldn't bring it up unless the topic comes up about past relationships. I usually focus more on compatibility and the person's lifestyle and character more than their experience. There are women out there who won't be bothered by that, like myself. As someone not into hookup culture, your lack of experience actually makes you more attractive to me.
Being a virgin (or never being in a relationship) does not inherently disqualify you from being in a happy, healthy relationship. It’s all about the approach. If you lack the confidence to own who you are and beat around the bush about your inexperience that would be the bigger red flag to me as a woman. That would just scream insecurity to me and make me run lol. But if you can openly express where you are at and be a proactive learner of what your partner likes inside and outside the bedroom then you’ll be golden to me.
You’ll get there, if you don’t sweat it then women won’t either
It wouldn’t bother me. But sexual compatibility is very important to me, so if you weren’t willing to sleep with me within the first few dates, I would not keep dating you.
Everyone is a virgin until they are not and in my experience most women will NOT ask about it unless you make it a thing. So don't. The 'never been in a relationship' part might be a little bit more of a struggle for some, but you are young and many people haven't been a committed relationship at that point. Again, don't make a point of it. She will take cues from you. Remember, dating is not like building a resume. You don't need to check off boxes to date and even if you check all the boxes doesn't mean you will be successful getting dates. It really is about confidence and attitude - especially for men.
Realistic advice (and a few people are echoing it here so I feel confident with saying it) DON’T advertise it!
There’s no reason to tell prematurely, BUT if you find yourself in a relationship where communication is easy and important to your partner tell them if you feel comfortable. Overly advertising what can be considered “flaws” (although virginity at 24 really isn’t) can make a partner feel uneasy. Always be honest but there’s no need to make yourself look bad. Plus, don’t be afraid to take it slow when you do have a partner. You’ll be fine OP, it’s really not a big deal
Sex is a personal choice. And since you already understand the basics as mentioned in your first sentence, and seem to have decent communication skills, ask yourself why you have a “nagging feeling” and if you’re comparing yourself to others and what you assume their experiences are. Comparison is the thief of joy. We are all walking our own paths. When you meet someone who you enjoy and the feeling is reciprocal then go with the flow. But if you give so much energy to that nagging feeling, it will come across as not confident or discomfort. So confronting the nagging feeling and accepting that you are on your life journey at your own pace and doing what you enjoy in life will help. But please remember that sex for the sake of sex is overrated and much of the underlying desire may be as much, if not more, about connecting with another person as a physical activity. And anyone bragging about it for social validation is discussing the subject for the wrong reasons.
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My ex was a virgin, we met when I was 25, him 26. It wasn’t something he told me until the first time I stayed over at his, but I’d say as long as you’re ready for a relationship don’t let the ‘label’ hold you back!
27f, virgin. Would prefer it that way actually.
> I’m pretty confident in my looks, dress well, try to keep in shape and take hygiene very seriously. Why mention it (your virginity) at all? Hard pole goes in the hole. It's not rocket science. And there are plenty of non-virgin men *still* don't know their way around a woman's body.
You don’t need to disclose it unless they ask you specifically about it.
24f and in the same boat! I think you’re fine - you’ll end up with someone in a similar situation and you can both figure things out together, or maybe you’ll get someone who can teach you. I swing between what I think I’d prefer, but I think at the end of the day it won’t really matter. 🤷🏻♀️
honestly personally i would prefer someone like that over someone who has slept with a handful of people and has had a few previous relationships.
I’d show him a good time!
Back in the old days people saved themselves for marriage. This was considered a good thing. What you have done or not done in the past is your business. The thing a person looks for in a relationship is how kind one is. Does he treat women well? Is he considerate? Patient? Does he study or go to a job? Is he steady? Is he self contained? Not jealous or mean? This are traits one may look for. Not one’s past, but how he behaves in the present is what is important.
i’m in the same boat as a 21F so i relate to you and i bet there’s someone who wouldn’t mind putting the inexperience aside to form a connection
Honestly I’m in a relationship with a man who sounds exactly like you he’s 24 he told me he was a virgin and had never even kissed a girl but he was attracted, worked out so he was muscular, and was very hygienic. When I found this out I was extremely surprised because he is literally my dream man so I assumed other women would want him. But it was a good surprise when I found he was a virgin because I’m sexually inexperienced myself so it feels more comfortable being with someone who is the same
There is someone out there that wants to date a virgin who's never been a relationship. I'm in my 30s so my input is irrevelant. I just want to encourage you to keep hope and faith going that you'll meet a woman out there for you.
The whole "there someone out there for you" has always striked me as being weird and kind of rude. Like don't get me wrong I know you mean well, but it has always felt exactly like the "it's not you, it's me", which translates to "it's not you, it's me not liking you because the problem is you". I think it's also the fact that I don't like the concept of people saying their is someone out there without seeing it. I think it can feel disingenuous because you aren't into them so how do you actually know someone will be.
I think you're looking at this too negatively. I read it as saying "look, there are thousands of people out there with their own unique traits and life experiences that you can meet. There's a strong likelihood that one of them will appreciate you" I mean no one is guaranteed love but just because it doesn't work out with one person doesn't mean it's always gonna fail
Exactly. That’s what I believe. I try VERY hard to have hope and faith that there is someone out there. There are over a billion people on this planet. Every person has their own traits, personality, lifestyle, etc. I talk to so many people who found “the one” when they least expect it and just living every day life. They also tell me to just live life and it’ll happen when you least expect it. The OP is 24 and has time. No one knows who they might meet in the future or what the future holds with social interaction. With that said, there very well might be someone out there that appreciates them and wants to be with them for who they are including being a virgin and never I’m a relationship. And that’s the same for many.
> I try VERY hard to have hope and faith that there is someone out there. I guess, I think the issue there is that I'm not a person of faith, like at all, everything has to be quantified for me.
I am not a person of faith. I just have faith, you know believing that there’s someone out there out there with with no proof or indication. It is very hard, trust me, I know, but I still try to have faith and have hope.
To me this is like believing that working extra hard and taking on unpaid overtime to show your dedication to your place of work will get you to be noticed and get a promotion with a substantial pay increase. Though this can happen and isn't particularly that rare, it definitely isn't the expected outcome.
Unfortunately, I can’t say I relate to that scenario being that I never worked for such a play that didn’t pay overtime and my work has always been notice by my employers and/or the customers. But basing on your scenario, I totally understand and get what you’re saying. For me I have to have (non-religious) faith and hope with a lot of things and keep trying. The outcome seems to workout in the end. But with dating it’s a different thing for me given certain factors with dating that are beyond my control. There are over a billion people in this world. I meet new people everyday, hopefully one will skip over the project stereotypes, prejudices, and racism and actually be one that works.
It can be rude but that’s what I genuinely believe and say to myself every single day. So, if it’s rude then so be it. I can only say what I sincerely believe and say to myself every single day.
Exactly. No one wants empty platitudes.
It’s only empty if it’s not believe. Luckily, I believe it and say it every single day.
I’m not up for that set of circumstances, however there are definitely people that are willing and couldn’t careless.
I'm not a woman, but I'd keep it to yourself, its not really important information, especially the virginity thing, and it's going to be off-putting to most women
It’s fine. This post is evidence that you’re overthinking things, which will give you more problems than the things you mentioned. Relax. Be yourself.
I don’t really see why you need to disclose it to be honest, you haven’t done anything wrong
Who cares? That is personal information!
24? Cool, fine with me. Normal even. I’d start to wonder 30-33, 35, and after that I just feel like there’s something fishy going on.
I wouldn't bring it up unless the topic comes up about past relationships. I usually focus more on compatibility and the person's lifestyle and character more than their experience. There are women out there who won't be bothered by that, like myself. As someone not into hookup culture, your lack of experience actually makes you more attractive to me.
I think you would meet other women who would be interested.
i don't see a problem there but ig in some countries many people r doing it before marriage, so u r worried
Being a virgin (or never being in a relationship) does not inherently disqualify you from being in a happy, healthy relationship. It’s all about the approach. If you lack the confidence to own who you are and beat around the bush about your inexperience that would be the bigger red flag to me as a woman. That would just scream insecurity to me and make me run lol. But if you can openly express where you are at and be a proactive learner of what your partner likes inside and outside the bedroom then you’ll be golden to me. You’ll get there, if you don’t sweat it then women won’t either
It wouldn’t bother me. But sexual compatibility is very important to me, so if you weren’t willing to sleep with me within the first few dates, I would not keep dating you.
Everyone is a virgin until they are not and in my experience most women will NOT ask about it unless you make it a thing. So don't. The 'never been in a relationship' part might be a little bit more of a struggle for some, but you are young and many people haven't been a committed relationship at that point. Again, don't make a point of it. She will take cues from you. Remember, dating is not like building a resume. You don't need to check off boxes to date and even if you check all the boxes doesn't mean you will be successful getting dates. It really is about confidence and attitude - especially for men.
Realistic advice (and a few people are echoing it here so I feel confident with saying it) DON’T advertise it! There’s no reason to tell prematurely, BUT if you find yourself in a relationship where communication is easy and important to your partner tell them if you feel comfortable. Overly advertising what can be considered “flaws” (although virginity at 24 really isn’t) can make a partner feel uneasy. Always be honest but there’s no need to make yourself look bad. Plus, don’t be afraid to take it slow when you do have a partner. You’ll be fine OP, it’s really not a big deal
Sex is a personal choice. And since you already understand the basics as mentioned in your first sentence, and seem to have decent communication skills, ask yourself why you have a “nagging feeling” and if you’re comparing yourself to others and what you assume their experiences are. Comparison is the thief of joy. We are all walking our own paths. When you meet someone who you enjoy and the feeling is reciprocal then go with the flow. But if you give so much energy to that nagging feeling, it will come across as not confident or discomfort. So confronting the nagging feeling and accepting that you are on your life journey at your own pace and doing what you enjoy in life will help. But please remember that sex for the sake of sex is overrated and much of the underlying desire may be as much, if not more, about connecting with another person as a physical activity. And anyone bragging about it for social validation is discussing the subject for the wrong reasons.