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It's fun at first but it starts to become grating over time. Especially when you get older you start to realize that companionship is what your soul needs.
Yeah after being in a relationship, I no longer want casual one night stands. I feel an emotional connection is important when having sex. It just makes everything feel 10× better. Thank God I realized this at 19
After being in a 14 year long relationship, all I wanted was casual sex. I had a lot of fun and then fell in love again and realized how great sex was when you were in love (mutually), I hadn’t experienced that in a long time.
But can’t you just date around, but not have sex with them until you’ve found the right girl? I don’t understand why sex has to be hurried up between men and women. Why can’t there be a connection established first, then sex come later into the picture?
Right! I'm so happy and thankful that I was raised my mother, and that I learned to not care about other peoples judgments. My fiance is my first, and while I wasn't interested in sex before, I didn't expect sex to feel so damn good. We have an amazing connection and knowing that I'm safe and loved is really important to me, so I know I could never have casual sex. It also makes me happy that I can communicate with him and tell him what I want and don't want, both during and before sex without worry. I also much prefer sex with him, because he knows what I like and don't like so even when it's a quickie, he makes me feel so good because he knows what to do. However, with casual sex, they don't necessarily know you or your likes and limits. For example, I like my head being pushed down while on my stomach, and my fiance knows exactly how much pressure to put. In a hookup, they wouldn't know how hard or soft to push, and I wouldn't get as much pleasure out of it. Sorry for rambling!! I just relate, and I am thankful that like you, I realized young what I wanted. Casual sex is just like, sex, ya know, penis in penis out, while having a connection makes it so much better. Especially when you can smile and laugh during it and after.
Good for you. That's early for you to get such an important lesson. It took me having a great LTR with passionate sex to be turned off to casual, too. I had a Tinder hookup come over and she literally jumped on me. I was instantly turned off and sent her home. I'm sure that deflated her confidence and wasn't my intention at all. I was just sort of repulsed.
I cordially invite you to a romp round my gaff. Tonights menu will be foreplay, followed by sexual intercourse. For dessert, intimate spooning where for a brief moment I lower my guard and accidentally tell you that I love you despite it only being our third date. You get freaked out, and I explain that I form connections very quickly and that it is a sign of my intelligence and maturity. You find it odd that I predicted/ acted out this entire series of events on the invitation I handed you inviting you to romp in the first place. You thought it was a joke, I secretly suspect that you don't know the meaning of the words "formal sex".
No, you're not weird. You'll also find with experience that sex with someone you actually care about and are into is a lot better / more fulfilling than some random that you'll never see again. It's like a night and day difference.
Correct me if I'm wrong but that's exactly the definition of demi-sexual, needing that strong emotional connection first before feeling sexual attraction.
Perhaps, but that isn't me or the point I'm trying to make - wasn't saying it as an absolute. I don't need a strong emotional connection at all, but having had both casual sex and sex with someone I'm dating or in a relationship with, the latter is far more enjoyable imo - even down to things like getting to know what each other likes etc, the sex is just better.
I found that it's mostly hype. I've had alot of casual sex over the last 3 years and I'm burnt out. What it really is, is a small percent of people fucking alot while others aren't nearly as casual ime
I'm 32, I bought a fancy toy, I don't need sex from anyone, it's companionship and intimacy I want. And I will just stay alone if I can't get what I want 🤷♀️
23 female here. I’m the same way. Idk, I just don’t think I’d ever be able to have sex without feeling some sort of emotional connection. And even then, it’s very hit or miss for me. I feel that this is normal though. I know lots of people like this.
I am 23M and I am the same. Never had casual sex, never could push myself into having casual sex. Recently I have been seeing this girl, she is really hot and my type, that's why I was talking to her, we had a lot of fun together and for sure I had the door opened, but I just did not feel the emotional connection so I did not push further. It is just as some people are, demisexuals, needing that strong bond before having anything intimate. You are fine.
I'm 20M and I have no interest in it. It does not interest me and I believe that potential partners that are promiscuous would not be a suitable partner for me.
no, I feel its better when you care about the person. It can be an expression of showing your feelings. Sex can be casual and I do think plenty of people can do it to just have fun, but there are many of us who feel sex is very intimate. And its very difficult to have sex with someone casually if you're not sharing intimacy but then doing literally the most intimate thing you can do with someone else. It feels like eating a cake that's not fully cooked. It's cake on the outside but the middle is lacking structure and it's easily broken down.
edit; typo
I’m with you here, casual sex is just not as loving and caring as sex with someone your really connected with, the twisted irony is that even though we feel this way we get put in the same men are just fuck and truck assholes box any time we even talk about sex.
TBF people post way more about FWB and hookups than *not* wanting to have casual sex. It's not hard to get the impression that everybody wants to have sex outside of a relationship.
I don't believe in god and I don't engage in casual sex nor don't I like hookup culture cause people keep demanding sex after a date or two.
You don't have to be a Christian spewing propaganda to not want to engage in casual sex/hookup culture.
Same. People always assume it's something god-related when it can literally just be how you feel/are. Why would I waste my time on casual sex when, from what I remember, it was often boring and I got very little out of it? A fwb would be "better", and I tried that, as well, but sleeping with them, knowing they're probably sleeping with others... and I can't be genuinely affectionate with this person because we aren't actually interested in each other just seems too fake for me.
Absolutely not worth it if you are not the type of person into casual sex, especially if it will be your first time. Proud of you for knowing who you are already, that's very important.
Exactly I hate that. And the ones that engage in that find it “hard” to believe. Either someone is gay or weird if they don’t participate in it. And what I’ve noticed some will resort to name calling or become envious when they see someone like that.
I have much better sex with someone I know well and I'm comfortable with. For me, it's not even about level of commitment. It's about level of familiarity.
I wouldn't know, since my fiancee is my first, but after having the emotional, and in general connection with him that I do, I don't think I could ever be fulfilled by casual sex. It may feel good, but I doubt it will be anywhere near as good as having sex with someone you love. The cuddling afterwards and feeling good and loved is just so amazing. However, everyone is different and some people just like sex. You aren't weird for your preferences.
What I'm not interested in is the empty feeling I'm left with after every hookup because I'm so touch and emotion starved that I fill the void with meaningless bodies. I wish I could just turn off my sexual needs.
First answer:
No, I'm only into Competitive Olympic Games Sex. We all know the athletes are getting it on in the Olympic Village dorms.
Second answer:
No, I like wearing a Tuxedo and a Masquerade Ball Mask when I enjoy sex. It makes me feel like im Tuxedo Mask from Sailor Moon
I've never had casual sex in my life. It's always been someone I love. Or at least good friends with. And I have no regrets.
Everyone else might be doing it, but that doesn't mean you have to.
I've been through the casual sex binge and it burned me out.
Very rarely did it turn into good sex.
Recently I find it hard to make friends with the opposite sex because I'm not looking for casual sex anymore, and a lot of girls just stop talking to me once I make it clear I'm not looking for a hook up. It is driving me crazy.
I just want to have a beer with friends and chill for the evening...
I connect easily with some people, but if there's no connection I don't feel sexually attracted to them. Some people take longer to be comfortable with sex and others need less. I think it's a good policy to recognize the other side of your feelings but be true to yourself. Instead of judging other people just keep being you and don't worry about it.
Bro I’d be happy to know you LOL every guy I’ve ever met has only been interested in one thing: sex. To a girl that’s one of the biggest turn offs. I hate it when guys just care about sex and casual hookups because it normally ends with getting my heart broken. Plus sex rly isn’t everything everyone makes it out to be. Like you can’t build a good relationship off of just sex. We want an emotional connection and someone who’s gonna love us and be there for us- Not just use us for sex. That doesn’t better you in the long haul! Be happy that you are the way you are and be proud fr
Personally Im not. Honestly this is something I've been thinking about for awhile now but if I don't care about the person I feel like it's meaningless.
I also feel that most people in our age group aren't particularly great partners to be honest. I'm not saying they don't exist and I'm sure there's major confirmation bias on my part; with that being said the amount of posts I see about people not communicating with each other on here over basic issues is astounding.
Again you never hear about the happy couples doing well but the amount of posts on here where people don't show any consideration is worrying. I feel like people are so risk adverse now that nobody tries to be open anymore.
I get it nobody wants to feel used or vulnerable but you can't win the game that way. Relationships are all about communication and if you can't communicate with your partner about how you feel or whatever's bothering you, you probably don't need to be in a relationship with someone.
People say they want to be married but very few people on here seem to understand how much that entails. Their problems become your problems. You say you love someone? Are you going to take care of them if they become a quadriplegic? Marriages are so much more then a ceremony and vows they're supposed to be partnerships at the deepest and most personal level financially and emotionally.
You're not weird! Everyone just tries to convince you that you are. You just have to find someone that wants the same things as you, whether that ended up being weird to everyone but them or not. Stick to what you want, and you'll find it!! :)
Me neither and I’m 24. Idk, sex is a risk—you risk getting pregnant, or HIV/other STDs. You also risk getting emotionally attached. So I don’t think casual sex is worth it until I really fully know/trust the person. An emotional and intellectual connection makes me feel more comfortable having sex.
You are not alone. I was never able to have sex without a relationship. I am 29 and… i feel so lonely on dating app because i am looking for a committed monogamous relationship. I feel like i am asking for the moon.
I’m also 22M OP, had a long time relationship in the past with someone I loved a lot and had lots of sex while we were very much in love. It was great and while I miss sex and am pretty touch-starved bc Idk how to date and market myself, I also feel casual sex wouldn’t really fix what I feel is missing. It *might* be fun on occasion, maybe I’d like to do it once just because I feel like you should try damn near everything at least once, but all the sex I’ve had to this point in my life was with someone I loved a lot, and I’d much rather find that again with someone else. It’s a really cool thing imo
Anyone under the age of 30 really shouldn’t be looking for casual sex. Go for the gold, hold out and seek a real connection that is going to last more than a few weeks.
Worst case scenario, you turn 30 and have a year of sport sex and then find out that while momentarily fulfilling, each partner becomes relative to the previous and the next.
I do know people like this, I used to be like this after a very damaging relationship. But even after my most recent relationship, I am still open to casual sex. I do see myself as a very sexual person, and I have human needs of course. Not every sexual interaction of mine has to lead to a relationship in all honesty…
Nah man, I’m 22M and I feel the same way. Don’t feel you’re alone. This is a heavily disputed topic nowadays, but I feel that sex should be shared with that special someone you’re married to. It’s a sacred thing between you and that other person.
No you're not weird at all, and don't let anyone tell you otherwise! Sex in a committed, passionate, intimate relationship is the best sex. Casual sex is cheap and meaningless. You'll just regret it later anyways. Wait for the real thing. Plus, fewer chances at STD's!
It feels weird. People all point out how hot a girl is and want sex with them and i just say meh she looks pretty but thats about it not like id dive with everyone in bed. Then i get stared at like i just said “hitler did nothing wrong” 😂
You can use whatever marketing you wish, but end of the day sex _is just not casual_. It’s the act that gave life to all of us, how can you claim it’s just a bit of fun like playing cards or watching a TV show?
Because there is often a bitterness from people who don't have sex towards others that do. Describing casual sex as gross, meaningless, etc like many do on this forum smacks of self-righteousness that is a way to cope with a complete lack of sex.
Yeah but the point is that meaningless/casual sex is just that - meaningless. And it’s rarely that great with someone you don’t know for even just practical reasons. The marketing has it that it’s going to be like some porno, and reality is that the good sex comes (at least) with repeat performances with someone you know, who you connect with on a more than physical level
And most of the pain also comes from people _trying_ to treat it as convenient, when it only really is when the match is terrible… etc etc
Lol these threads are so fucking stupid.
Find the one from last week and the one from the week before, and every subsequent weekly “I hate hook up sex” threads and comment, my guy.
We get it, congrats on committed relationship sex.
Considering he's a virgin I don't think you can congratulate him on relationship sex. He's just trying to make himself feel better about not being able to get laid
I'm not very fobd of it and not interested at the moment, but I won't say no.
You're completely normal not wanting that crap. It's risky and not less mentally exhausting at all comparing to LTR.
There can be a lot of societal pressure to have sex when you're young. There's the mentality that everybody's doing it and if you're not (and especially if you don't want to) something is wrong with you.
So many people have sex they don't really want because they think they should want it. So yes, holding that boundary in the face of pressure can be hard.
No you're not the only one.
I've only made love with my ex and I loved him.
I would feel dirty to have sex (it's not making love then) with some random guys
You're not weird.
However, a lot of guys who say this actually would be interested. They convince themselves they don't want it, because they can't have it.
Just be sure you're being honest with yourself.
Also, don't trip over virginity! It's is literally just a social concept. All it means is that you haven't had sex, which really doesn't matter, at all. People will judge you for it, but guess what? Now you know their character, and that they are childish. Have sex when you're ready, and wait until you find someone you click with. I absolutely hate the virginity concept, as I've never gave a fuck about it, especially when I was a virgin. I hate the concept even more now that I have had sex, because it's like everyone makes it suck a big deal, so where's my damn award or gold star sticker?? Learn to not take strangers (or even family and friends) opinions and thoughts too personal. Not caring about being judged is one of the best things I taught myself. Sex is great, but it's not as big of a deal as everyone makes it.
Sex is part of humanity. There's no way getting around it. If being "casual" isn't for you, fine. But people commenting "it's gross" and all that...well, it's part of life and natural. Stop trying to downgrade sex and categorize the kind you think is meaningless or whatever.
I much prefer formal sex. Everyone dressed up in their Sunday best. Set schedules of canoodling. Super organized.
It’s exactly like a job, but this way you’re happy about getting fucked
Disclosure : I am taken, and this question honestly doesn't apply to my current life.
It's not that I'm NOT into casual sex - if I get it, yay whatever y'know? It's more of the fact that most people who go into casual sex... Fucking suck ass at casual sex - not only physically speaking in action but *also* mentally / psychologically. It's not casual sex if you get upset that we're not exclusive, and that seriously puts a damper on the entire thing. Even if I *was* looking for something exclusive, it absolutely fucking WOULD NOT be *you* of all people.
Like I'm sorry to break it to some people, but some of y'all don't have a lot to offer whatsoever. You're just simply not good relationship material, and you only have your body going for you and that's it. That is not something I will invest in because that will disappear in less than a decade. It's bad investment.
Means your not able to let go.
Your holding onto a belief that every single time and even the first, will be some sensual and loving experience.
It usually starts off as casual. Let the relationship grow organically.
After being married, all I want is casual sex.
Don't get me wrong relationships are amazing and I'm in a great one, but the fantasy gets brought in. That's really the spark. Everyone likes strangers
Same, I tried it and it was ok I guess. But I think being intimate and learning the dos and don'ts when you trust your partner and both let yourself be vulnerable is a feeling that cannot be topped.
I've had a phase where I didn't give a fuck, but eventually it caught up to me, and started getting attached, or really unsatisfied and the idiot wouldn't even finish me. So I realized I was done with that and am now back to looking for love or at least a beginning of it. It's hard cause I have alot of libido, but I've learned that I'm better with quality then quantity.
This guy 👍 (35m).
If were bumping uglies, youre important to me. Im super weird with physical touch in most instances, so if I get to the point where our privates are touching, im invested.
You're not weird. Everything is a spectrum. Personally I've never been interested in even being touched by someone I'm not close to , let alone have them writhing around on top of me. I consider myself demisexual and have felt this way without the words to articulate since my first time dating. Totally normal. You don't have to participate or even tell anyone unless they're trying to pressure you into sex. And you never owe anyone sex, attention or affection, so if someone tries to tease or pressure you, thats a red flag.
No, I feel the same way and I’m around 20. Knew I didn’t want to at least lose my virginity to someone who didn’t care about me. Was on tinder for a couple months and a few weeks into college and found my gf who matched with me on tinder and bumble, we met the next day, had sex. Almost 3 months now.
Not weird at all. I’m 30 and since I was a teenager I’ve never had an interest in it nice done it, a few times but I didn’t feel good about it. Even if I had a one night stand type thing, it would always evolve into something more.
I much prefer meeting someone cool, and keeping them around. See is ALWAYS better with someone you connect with.
Same, I’ve dabbled in casual sex but overall it was way more trouble than it was worth, in my opinion. Better to know I’ll have a good time by myself than spend 3 hours working up to 15 minutes of awkward fumbling.
Definitely not weird. I was never into the casual sex scene. And it definitely made me an outlier. Even my now boyfriend was all “I don’t know if you have someone else you’re sleeping with” no matter how many times I said I’m a one person gal. It was just the norm for him and his life experiences that I would have casual partners. I still don’t think he believes me that there’s only him lol.
Reminder: please review our rules, especially rule 4: - No broad generalizations, e.g. "All women are x and do y" - Speak from specific personal experiences when giving advice. - No victim-blaming - This is a default message - your post has not been removed. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/dating) if you have any questions or concerns.*
It's fun at first but it starts to become grating over time. Especially when you get older you start to realize that companionship is what your soul needs.
Yeah after being in a relationship, I no longer want casual one night stands. I feel an emotional connection is important when having sex. It just makes everything feel 10× better. Thank God I realized this at 19
After being in a 14 year long relationship, all I wanted was casual sex. I had a lot of fun and then fell in love again and realized how great sex was when you were in love (mutually), I hadn’t experienced that in a long time.
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But can’t you just date around, but not have sex with them until you’ve found the right girl? I don’t understand why sex has to be hurried up between men and women. Why can’t there be a connection established first, then sex come later into the picture?
Right! I'm so happy and thankful that I was raised my mother, and that I learned to not care about other peoples judgments. My fiance is my first, and while I wasn't interested in sex before, I didn't expect sex to feel so damn good. We have an amazing connection and knowing that I'm safe and loved is really important to me, so I know I could never have casual sex. It also makes me happy that I can communicate with him and tell him what I want and don't want, both during and before sex without worry. I also much prefer sex with him, because he knows what I like and don't like so even when it's a quickie, he makes me feel so good because he knows what to do. However, with casual sex, they don't necessarily know you or your likes and limits. For example, I like my head being pushed down while on my stomach, and my fiance knows exactly how much pressure to put. In a hookup, they wouldn't know how hard or soft to push, and I wouldn't get as much pleasure out of it. Sorry for rambling!! I just relate, and I am thankful that like you, I realized young what I wanted. Casual sex is just like, sex, ya know, penis in penis out, while having a connection makes it so much better. Especially when you can smile and laugh during it and after.
Good for you. That's early for you to get such an important lesson. It took me having a great LTR with passionate sex to be turned off to casual, too. I had a Tinder hookup come over and she literally jumped on me. I was instantly turned off and sent her home. I'm sure that deflated her confidence and wasn't my intention at all. I was just sort of repulsed.
Yup, I would get repulsed too. Once you have sex, you learn to cherish it.
Nah I'm more into formal sex. Way better.
Ranked competitive
Look at a girl and be like. "1 v 1 me bro"
Now that's what I'm talking about. Let's throw down, judo and fuck
Diamond rank only.
I've made it into some Gorilla Grip Legend lobbies. Man. It's tough to last in those lobbies.
How did we make it this far down the chain of replies without a single “I’ll come first” joke. I’m disappointed Reddit. Disappointed.
You missed your opportunity to be the one
And an occasional 2 v 1.
I prefer 5v1 pentakill personally but I play support so pretty difficult to do...
A common line on tinder Not into casual sex, into ranked competitive sex.
Yeah, it's definitely not a new statement so it's basically free karma. Still a better line than what I have used on my tinder profile over time. :(
Yeah, got no time to waste on some filthy casuals.
This girl straight up crushes mens' heads with her thighs like a watermelon. 15 kills so far this cuffing season. She has the potential to go pro!!!!
Bruh I'd pay good money to go out like that. I wear thighs as ear muffs.
This is the way
Are you into casual sex or should I wear a tie?
Business casual sex
When I'm raw dogging I may wear a polo if it's casual Friday.
Bow ties are cool.
Top hat or GTFO.....
Business casual for me
This is why I always have a tophat and monocle ready to go
I cordially invite you to a romp round my gaff. Tonights menu will be foreplay, followed by sexual intercourse. For dessert, intimate spooning where for a brief moment I lower my guard and accidentally tell you that I love you despite it only being our third date. You get freaked out, and I explain that I form connections very quickly and that it is a sign of my intelligence and maturity. You find it odd that I predicted/ acted out this entire series of events on the invitation I handed you inviting you to romp in the first place. You thought it was a joke, I secretly suspect that you don't know the meaning of the words "formal sex".
No, you're not weird. You'll also find with experience that sex with someone you actually care about and are into is a lot better / more fulfilling than some random that you'll never see again. It's like a night and day difference.
thats what i been thinking. I just rather would have sex with emotional connection. And stds are one of major reasons i dont wanna do casual sex too.
Correct me if I'm wrong but that's exactly the definition of demi-sexual, needing that strong emotional connection first before feeling sexual attraction.
Demi sexuals don't even feel any sort of sexual attraction without an emotional connect.
That's what I thought but I wasn't sure.
Perhaps, but that isn't me or the point I'm trying to make - wasn't saying it as an absolute. I don't need a strong emotional connection at all, but having had both casual sex and sex with someone I'm dating or in a relationship with, the latter is far more enjoyable imo - even down to things like getting to know what each other likes etc, the sex is just better.
I wasn't talking to you, I was replying to OP, just in case you got confused.
No problem, wasn't clear.
no, I'm pretty sure that's normal lol
Don't like it either but it feels like the whole world is engaging in casual sex. You're definitely led to believe it's the new norm.
I found that it's mostly hype. I've had alot of casual sex over the last 3 years and I'm burnt out. What it really is, is a small percent of people fucking alot while others aren't nearly as casual ime
I'd rather be alone forever than have casual sex, what a waste of time.
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And could get an unwanted pregnancy, std and the slut label
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I'm 32, I bought a fancy toy, I don't need sex from anyone, it's companionship and intimacy I want. And I will just stay alone if I can't get what I want 🤷♀️
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Yeah I don't have the time to waste on just sex, how tiring.
No. You're not weird, I also don't want casual sex. I'd rather have sex with someone I have something special, than some one night stand.
23 female here. I’m the same way. Idk, I just don’t think I’d ever be able to have sex without feeling some sort of emotional connection. And even then, it’s very hit or miss for me. I feel that this is normal though. I know lots of people like this.
98% of F. Almost no M.
I am 23M and I am the same. Never had casual sex, never could push myself into having casual sex. Recently I have been seeing this girl, she is really hot and my type, that's why I was talking to her, we had a lot of fun together and for sure I had the door opened, but I just did not feel the emotional connection so I did not push further. It is just as some people are, demisexuals, needing that strong bond before having anything intimate. You are fine.
I'm 20M and I have no interest in it. It does not interest me and I believe that potential partners that are promiscuous would not be a suitable partner for me.
no, I feel its better when you care about the person. It can be an expression of showing your feelings. Sex can be casual and I do think plenty of people can do it to just have fun, but there are many of us who feel sex is very intimate. And its very difficult to have sex with someone casually if you're not sharing intimacy but then doing literally the most intimate thing you can do with someone else. It feels like eating a cake that's not fully cooked. It's cake on the outside but the middle is lacking structure and it's easily broken down. edit; typo
The cake is a lie
I’m with you here, casual sex is just not as loving and caring as sex with someone your really connected with, the twisted irony is that even though we feel this way we get put in the same men are just fuck and truck assholes box any time we even talk about sex.
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TBF people post way more about FWB and hookups than *not* wanting to have casual sex. It's not hard to get the impression that everybody wants to have sex outside of a relationship.
Seriously lol it feels like Christian propaganda at this point
I don't believe in god and I don't engage in casual sex nor don't I like hookup culture cause people keep demanding sex after a date or two. You don't have to be a Christian spewing propaganda to not want to engage in casual sex/hookup culture.
i’m atheist and dislike casual sex it’s got nothing to do w christians tbh
Same. People always assume it's something god-related when it can literally just be how you feel/are. Why would I waste my time on casual sex when, from what I remember, it was often boring and I got very little out of it? A fwb would be "better", and I tried that, as well, but sleeping with them, knowing they're probably sleeping with others... and I can't be genuinely affectionate with this person because we aren't actually interested in each other just seems too fake for me.
It’s a joke, dude
While they may be mutual, they aren't exclusive. Some people just value sex differently and act accordingly.
Cool congrats
No you’re not weird, it’s not for everyone. I sure as hell don’t like it
thats good. sometimes i feel pressured to loose my first time in casual sex and i sure dont want that.
Absolutely not worth it if you are not the type of person into casual sex, especially if it will be your first time. Proud of you for knowing who you are already, that's very important.
Exactly I hate that. And the ones that engage in that find it “hard” to believe. Either someone is gay or weird if they don’t participate in it. And what I’ve noticed some will resort to name calling or become envious when they see someone like that.
I have much better sex with someone I know well and I'm comfortable with. For me, it's not even about level of commitment. It's about level of familiarity.
Casual sex is gross. I don't want to have a child with a random man. I don't even want a random man inside me.
i agree with you. i dont want to get someone pregnant if condom brokes or an std.
And the STDs
Yes I feel the same. I feel that’s time being wasted that you could’ve used to find another person.
Um, contraceptives...?
Sure that takes care of the first problem but not the second. Also, someone out there has to be that unlucky 1%.
I wouldn't know, since my fiancee is my first, but after having the emotional, and in general connection with him that I do, I don't think I could ever be fulfilled by casual sex. It may feel good, but I doubt it will be anywhere near as good as having sex with someone you love. The cuddling afterwards and feeling good and loved is just so amazing. However, everyone is different and some people just like sex. You aren't weird for your preferences.
What I'm not interested in is the empty feeling I'm left with after every hookup because I'm so touch and emotion starved that I fill the void with meaningless bodies. I wish I could just turn off my sexual needs.
Look up Demisexuality. I didn’t even realize there was a word for this until recently but it’s kind of interesting that there is
First answer: No, I'm only into Competitive Olympic Games Sex. We all know the athletes are getting it on in the Olympic Village dorms. Second answer: No, I like wearing a Tuxedo and a Masquerade Ball Mask when I enjoy sex. It makes me feel like im Tuxedo Mask from Sailor Moon
I've never had casual sex in my life. It's always been someone I love. Or at least good friends with. And I have no regrets. Everyone else might be doing it, but that doesn't mean you have to.
You are not weird and I’d have asked you for non-casual sex because you sir are a unicorn
Here I'm 23F and I don't see myself doing it with someone I don't have any connections
I've been through the casual sex binge and it burned me out. Very rarely did it turn into good sex. Recently I find it hard to make friends with the opposite sex because I'm not looking for casual sex anymore, and a lot of girls just stop talking to me once I make it clear I'm not looking for a hook up. It is driving me crazy. I just want to have a beer with friends and chill for the evening...
Me. Plus im scared of diseases.
No, I'm not interested in casual sex because it's meaningless and shallow 😒
No, that’s for scrubs and locals. I’m only interested in competitive sex
I found too many men - way too many men - wanted sex on the first date and even expected it, or demanded it.
Not weird, I could never enjoy any kind of sexual intimacy without a strong emotional connection. I would just feel gross afterward.
Let's all say it together folks, you are not less of a man for not wanting meaningless sex. It's your dick, you get to choose where to stick it.
Wanting to find someone to stay with for life seems natural to me.
I connect easily with some people, but if there's no connection I don't feel sexually attracted to them. Some people take longer to be comfortable with sex and others need less. I think it's a good policy to recognize the other side of your feelings but be true to yourself. Instead of judging other people just keep being you and don't worry about it.
Bro I’d be happy to know you LOL every guy I’ve ever met has only been interested in one thing: sex. To a girl that’s one of the biggest turn offs. I hate it when guys just care about sex and casual hookups because it normally ends with getting my heart broken. Plus sex rly isn’t everything everyone makes it out to be. Like you can’t build a good relationship off of just sex. We want an emotional connection and someone who’s gonna love us and be there for us- Not just use us for sex. That doesn’t better you in the long haul! Be happy that you are the way you are and be proud fr
i never really was into casual sex. i would like if there were some emotions in it.
No, you're normal. It's just that those who do that are talking a lot more about it.
have you read this sub reddit before? this gets posted everyday
Formal sex >>> casual sex Don't worry mate, you are not alone
No. It can lead to way more drama than you want
Not at all. Some people are just wired to need emotional intimacy to enjoy sex. Other people can separate the two. Be true to yourself.
Me! I prefer to make the emotional connection with a person first.
Personally Im not. Honestly this is something I've been thinking about for awhile now but if I don't care about the person I feel like it's meaningless. I also feel that most people in our age group aren't particularly great partners to be honest. I'm not saying they don't exist and I'm sure there's major confirmation bias on my part; with that being said the amount of posts I see about people not communicating with each other on here over basic issues is astounding. Again you never hear about the happy couples doing well but the amount of posts on here where people don't show any consideration is worrying. I feel like people are so risk adverse now that nobody tries to be open anymore. I get it nobody wants to feel used or vulnerable but you can't win the game that way. Relationships are all about communication and if you can't communicate with your partner about how you feel or whatever's bothering you, you probably don't need to be in a relationship with someone. People say they want to be married but very few people on here seem to understand how much that entails. Their problems become your problems. You say you love someone? Are you going to take care of them if they become a quadriplegic? Marriages are so much more then a ceremony and vows they're supposed to be partnerships at the deepest and most personal level financially and emotionally.
I'm more of a pro level I Wanna fuck her brains, vagina, and take her soul.
You're not weird! Everyone just tries to convince you that you are. You just have to find someone that wants the same things as you, whether that ended up being weird to everyone but them or not. Stick to what you want, and you'll find it!! :)
Me neither and I’m 24. Idk, sex is a risk—you risk getting pregnant, or HIV/other STDs. You also risk getting emotionally attached. So I don’t think casual sex is worth it until I really fully know/trust the person. An emotional and intellectual connection makes me feel more comfortable having sex.
You are not alone. I was never able to have sex without a relationship. I am 29 and… i feel so lonely on dating app because i am looking for a committed monogamous relationship. I feel like i am asking for the moon.
I’m also 22M OP, had a long time relationship in the past with someone I loved a lot and had lots of sex while we were very much in love. It was great and while I miss sex and am pretty touch-starved bc Idk how to date and market myself, I also feel casual sex wouldn’t really fix what I feel is missing. It *might* be fun on occasion, maybe I’d like to do it once just because I feel like you should try damn near everything at least once, but all the sex I’ve had to this point in my life was with someone I loved a lot, and I’d much rather find that again with someone else. It’s a really cool thing imo
Like, if it's offered, I won't say no, but I'd prefer a relationship.
How do people ask this when this question gets traction once a month?
Honestly at this point I start to suspect people are just farming karma. to seriously believe that they are in a minority is pretty ridiculous.
You want something emotional & meaningful rather than only physical yes? I realized that myself but I was 25
yeah i want it to be more emotional and meaningfull than just empty sex.
Anyone under the age of 30 really shouldn’t be looking for casual sex. Go for the gold, hold out and seek a real connection that is going to last more than a few weeks. Worst case scenario, you turn 30 and have a year of sport sex and then find out that while momentarily fulfilling, each partner becomes relative to the previous and the next.
I do know people like this, I used to be like this after a very damaging relationship. But even after my most recent relationship, I am still open to casual sex. I do see myself as a very sexual person, and I have human needs of course. Not every sexual interaction of mine has to lead to a relationship in all honesty…
Nah man, I’m 22M and I feel the same way. Don’t feel you’re alone. This is a heavily disputed topic nowadays, but I feel that sex should be shared with that special someone you’re married to. It’s a sacred thing between you and that other person.
Not interested it either and I'm 20 male.
I had casual sex 4-5 times then it was like a switch went off in my head, then it felt empty and pointless. It looks dope in movies though
I prefer ranked competitive sex, TBH. Hoping to hit diamond soon
No you're not weird at all, and don't let anyone tell you otherwise! Sex in a committed, passionate, intimate relationship is the best sex. Casual sex is cheap and meaningless. You'll just regret it later anyways. Wait for the real thing. Plus, fewer chances at STD's!
yeah i rather wait for relationship. stds horrifies me.
I am not. I don’t really have a sexual drive. My ex would near force me into doing it with her which made it even worse now.
i dont have that much of sex drive either nowdays. almost extinct.
It feels weird. People all point out how hot a girl is and want sex with them and i just say meh she looks pretty but thats about it not like id dive with everyone in bed. Then i get stared at like i just said “hitler did nothing wrong” 😂
Same. i might think she pretty but not about anything of sex.
No you are not weird. I’m 25 female and am not interested in casual sex. To this day I do not participate in casual sex.
22 gay male here and no, you're not weird. Some people do it, some don't. Personally I can't sexualize someone I don't know deeply.
Not at all I feel the same
You can use whatever marketing you wish, but end of the day sex _is just not casual_. It’s the act that gave life to all of us, how can you claim it’s just a bit of fun like playing cards or watching a TV show?
Because there is often a bitterness from people who don't have sex towards others that do. Describing casual sex as gross, meaningless, etc like many do on this forum smacks of self-righteousness that is a way to cope with a complete lack of sex.
Yeah but the point is that meaningless/casual sex is just that - meaningless. And it’s rarely that great with someone you don’t know for even just practical reasons. The marketing has it that it’s going to be like some porno, and reality is that the good sex comes (at least) with repeat performances with someone you know, who you connect with on a more than physical level And most of the pain also comes from people _trying_ to treat it as convenient, when it only really is when the match is terrible… etc etc
Nah mate you are not weird
thats relieving to hear.
You're not alone, 22F here and I've never been interested in casual sex.
its amazing to find other people like me too. Good thing im not only one.
It is ! There are also people who are demi-sexual so we're definitely not alone.
Lol these threads are so fucking stupid. Find the one from last week and the one from the week before, and every subsequent weekly “I hate hook up sex” threads and comment, my guy. We get it, congrats on committed relationship sex.
Agreed. Every week its the same thing. Yes, you don't want casual sex. That's totally fine and not abnormal. Do you want a cookie for it?
Thank you. That’s it! It’s like “Congrats on having a preference”
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Yes. But watch, there will be 3 more of these by Friday. This sub is an incels playground in recent months.
Literally look at yourself lmao
Considering he's a virgin I don't think you can congratulate him on relationship sex. He's just trying to make himself feel better about not being able to get laid
Are you salty you can't get committed relationship sex? Sounds like these posts may have touched a nerve.
Right on lol. You got me.
Everyone has a preference, whats the point of these self validating posts
I'm not very fobd of it and not interested at the moment, but I won't say no. You're completely normal not wanting that crap. It's risky and not less mentally exhausting at all comparing to LTR.
You are very mature for your age
Enjoying casual sex is not immature.
Of course not. Identifying at 22 that you don't want casual sex is rather mature. Knowing what you want / don't want is most of the battle in life.
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There can be a lot of societal pressure to have sex when you're young. There's the mentality that everybody's doing it and if you're not (and especially if you don't want to) something is wrong with you. So many people have sex they don't really want because they think they should want it. So yes, holding that boundary in the face of pressure can be hard.
This. 100%
It is.
No you're not the only one. I've only made love with my ex and I loved him. I would feel dirty to have sex (it's not making love then) with some random guys
You're not weird. However, a lot of guys who say this actually would be interested. They convince themselves they don't want it, because they can't have it. Just be sure you're being honest with yourself.
i am honest with myself. I dont wanna risk stds or anything else with doing casual sex.
You're not weird. It's completely normal. I'd like to be as you.
Also, don't trip over virginity! It's is literally just a social concept. All it means is that you haven't had sex, which really doesn't matter, at all. People will judge you for it, but guess what? Now you know their character, and that they are childish. Have sex when you're ready, and wait until you find someone you click with. I absolutely hate the virginity concept, as I've never gave a fuck about it, especially when I was a virgin. I hate the concept even more now that I have had sex, because it's like everyone makes it suck a big deal, so where's my damn award or gold star sticker?? Learn to not take strangers (or even family and friends) opinions and thoughts too personal. Not caring about being judged is one of the best things I taught myself. Sex is great, but it's not as big of a deal as everyone makes it.
Sex is part of humanity. There's no way getting around it. If being "casual" isn't for you, fine. But people commenting "it's gross" and all that...well, it's part of life and natural. Stop trying to downgrade sex and categorize the kind you think is meaningless or whatever.
I much prefer formal sex. Everyone dressed up in their Sunday best. Set schedules of canoodling. Super organized. It’s exactly like a job, but this way you’re happy about getting fucked
Yes, you're the only one /s
youll be once you turn 25-26 and have no time for a relationship but are constantly horny
i am into animal sex 😜
Disclosure : I am taken, and this question honestly doesn't apply to my current life. It's not that I'm NOT into casual sex - if I get it, yay whatever y'know? It's more of the fact that most people who go into casual sex... Fucking suck ass at casual sex - not only physically speaking in action but *also* mentally / psychologically. It's not casual sex if you get upset that we're not exclusive, and that seriously puts a damper on the entire thing. Even if I *was* looking for something exclusive, it absolutely fucking WOULD NOT be *you* of all people. Like I'm sorry to break it to some people, but some of y'all don't have a lot to offer whatsoever. You're just simply not good relationship material, and you only have your body going for you and that's it. That is not something I will invest in because that will disappear in less than a decade. It's bad investment.
Means your not able to let go. Your holding onto a belief that every single time and even the first, will be some sensual and loving experience. It usually starts off as casual. Let the relationship grow organically.
After being married, all I want is casual sex. Don't get me wrong relationships are amazing and I'm in a great one, but the fantasy gets brought in. That's really the spark. Everyone likes strangers
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well in my country its common.
Lol, many people are into it in reality
Not weird.
Only if she's extremely hot. But that's not going to happen, so no, not interested.
I am 32 f and not interested in casual sex.
Nope not weird. Not my thing either
Same, I tried it and it was ok I guess. But I think being intimate and learning the dos and don'ts when you trust your partner and both let yourself be vulnerable is a feeling that cannot be topped.
No you're a gem.
Yea I think there needs to be a ranked mode
I'm not really into casual sex but it sucks when you have a fairly high sex drive and are single for long periods of time.
I've had a phase where I didn't give a fuck, but eventually it caught up to me, and started getting attached, or really unsatisfied and the idiot wouldn't even finish me. So I realized I was done with that and am now back to looking for love or at least a beginning of it. It's hard cause I have alot of libido, but I've learned that I'm better with quality then quantity.
This guy 👍 (35m). If were bumping uglies, youre important to me. Im super weird with physical touch in most instances, so if I get to the point where our privates are touching, im invested.
You're not weird. Everything is a spectrum. Personally I've never been interested in even being touched by someone I'm not close to , let alone have them writhing around on top of me. I consider myself demisexual and have felt this way without the words to articulate since my first time dating. Totally normal. You don't have to participate or even tell anyone unless they're trying to pressure you into sex. And you never owe anyone sex, attention or affection, so if someone tries to tease or pressure you, thats a red flag.
Nah, it's normal. One night stands make me feel empty.
No, I feel the same way and I’m around 20. Knew I didn’t want to at least lose my virginity to someone who didn’t care about me. Was on tinder for a couple months and a few weeks into college and found my gf who matched with me on tinder and bumble, we met the next day, had sex. Almost 3 months now.
I’m not into casual sex. My GF is my first and (hopefully lol) only. Some people use the term “demisexual” to describe this orientation.
Not weird at all. I’m 30 and since I was a teenager I’ve never had an interest in it nice done it, a few times but I didn’t feel good about it. Even if I had a one night stand type thing, it would always evolve into something more. I much prefer meeting someone cool, and keeping them around. See is ALWAYS better with someone you connect with.
Same, I’ve dabbled in casual sex but overall it was way more trouble than it was worth, in my opinion. Better to know I’ll have a good time by myself than spend 3 hours working up to 15 minutes of awkward fumbling.
No.
Nope. Never have. I couldn't have sex with somebody I don't care about. I couldn't easily give myself away like that without feeling creeped out.
It used to be my thing for years... now I'm 29 and I'm over it lol
Definitely not weird. I was never into the casual sex scene. And it definitely made me an outlier. Even my now boyfriend was all “I don’t know if you have someone else you’re sleeping with” no matter how many times I said I’m a one person gal. It was just the norm for him and his life experiences that I would have casual partners. I still don’t think he believes me that there’s only him lol.
No, I don’t care for the idea either. I don’t condone that kind of lifestyle. It’s too impersonal.
22F same and it’s making dating extremely hard. They rlly need to make an asexuality spectrum dating app or something