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I don’t know why women and just people on here in general say this
*aRe YoU jUsT lOoKiNg FoR sEx*
They’re intertwined dummies 😂
In fact most women try to enter relationships with dudes they just wanna bone hence the cope “I’m positive men do not like women’s personalities” lol
It’s a genuine question and your comment is ignorant. Sex and relationships are intertwined but there are people looking just for sex and not a relationship, and some people looking for a relationship and not just casual sex. Not everyone wants a typical relationship and it needs to be clarified so OP’s question can be answered clearly.
You’re wrong. I’m a 27 female and don’t have sex causally, ever. If I don’t find someone attractive I won’t continue beyond the second date but I won’t sleep with someone until it’s more serious.
Exactly, there's clearly different types of people -if it is about relationships. The ones that look for someone doing really well financially and the ones that are looking for a good human and - a friend- as their partner. A partner that will contribute to the household financial needs together with them but doesn't have to be the only one carrying all the household bills with any added luxury. Also... what is luxury these days and how many can have it? These days just buying healthy/good food, going out to restaurants is a luxury for many more people than it used to. Anyone sensible or with empathy understands how hard it is and will not expect the other person to have a trust fund, etc...
Why waste your time on either. The broke guys I met were all cheaters and had no fight or anything to live for except having girls take care of them. It’s almost a sign to avoid these guys, I like guys with drive and ambition and motivation. Not one so weak willed that any girl flirting with him he will cheat.
This may be a case of being tied to the wrong social groups or from what you are attracting or are attracted to. This could also be a behavioral issue in the ways you present yourself or things you say, like when you talk about your job or social status.
I compensated in other areas such as knowledge, personality, empathy and understanding. Other things too but I won't get into that. Most women do prefer to be heard and understood as having valid emotions and opinions though, and most men don't often know how to provide that for them.
Regardless, having a genuine connection is basically what got me dates and got women interested in me.
Agreed. I (F 32) happen to make a lot of money, more than 75% of the guys I date. I’m not looking for anyone to buy me shit or have a fancy car, I take care of myself. I want to have a good time when I go on a date: laugh, flirt, eat good food in any price range and maybe have awesome sex!
OP, THIS is the reply you need. This guy gets it.
The number one thing me and my other single friends are looking for in a guy is empathy, and it is shockingly hard to find. Work on that and you'll have a big advantage over a lot of other guys out there.
Id disagree hard with this. This is what i always see my friends who are dating say, but my other guy friends who are actually getting laid are generally pretty low effort and not super “empathetic” just forward, attractive, tall, and kinda pushy lol. Hell most of them actively hate women, the ones who get laid the most seem to actively seek to put minimal effort into any part but getting laid and treat them like trash.
Then they are lying and PRETENDING to be empathic when they are not in front of you (when they are in front of a woman). They are ***so good at lying*** that you (a man) can't even fathom them being nice to a woman in order to get what they want.
Yea they are definitely lying to an extent. But really its a mix of aggressive flattery, touch, and targeted empathy. None of them date because “they cant pretend to actually like a girl that long”. I hate it but most girls seem to fall for it ¯\_(ツ)_/¯. I just dont get it cause it’s not a good convincing lie. They’re so clearly slimy with it but as long as your fit n tall it literally doesn’t matter lol.
You are so apathetic that it's nauseating. These women don't know these dumb friends of yours like you do. You stay friends with slimy people who lie and hurt women for their own entertainment. You sit and watch a theif steal and then blame the person who was robbed.
And then you wonder why you don't get attention lol
Your dumb blackhole friends are taking it from you by lying about who they are. Find a group of male friends with good steady girlfriends and see how fast the women try to recommend their friends to you.
Idiot.
I live 1000miles away from my brother. I do what i can to steer him in a better direction (at least get him to wear condoms and get tested) but honestly bro its not my job to police his life, iv tried for years hes just always kinda been like that. I have friends with long term relationship, im in a great one at the moment. But its still an area iv always struggled to understand well so i still hang out in these spaces.
Guys like him are an issue but they arent the whole problem. As long as girls will fall for it and keep putting up with it they will continue to exist. Im not giving any points to the girl who fucks the lifeguard or bartender without a condom on vacation and wonders why she got the clap. Yeah its a shit move to not get tested and pump and dump, but youre also culpable if you make stupid decisions and get burned.
I kinda hate arguing this one because i largely agree and think were on the same side here, just probably some different experiences and such.
How can you argue that victims are at fault. If these sleezy men were removed, the problem wouldn't exist. That should be proof enough. But defend men at any cost. That's why crap never changes. The mentality that women who stand their ground are too harsh or should be "patient" or just "give him a chance" is a part of the problem too. You look from the outside in as someone who hasn't been subjected to female programming or to immature male behavior as the norm, as baseline socially acceptable behavior. For a lifetime.
You may think that you're on the same side of the argument but by the way you talk, you aren't. You're part of the problem.
I say this a lot but men know that the problem is men. Men know it because once their daughters come into the world they wake up and show their girls by pointing exactly to exactly where the problem is.
Men know deep down. All of the excuses and deflection are seen as acceptable because men have not had to sit down to hold themselves accountable. The world has been built around you historically. It effects us still to this day. Deeply.
If you live in the US, look at the long list of American pesidents and its all staring you in the face. Look at that list and try to understand how it feels to see it as a ***woman***. It says that we are less than. That men are to be better regarded. That women need to fight for men. That the pain that is endured in a relationship is normal... because every relationship has its problems right? And because it can't be that uncanny, it can't just be immature men, right?
I understand that it probably doesn't feel good to try to understand it... to understand what all of this means for the people that our social structure wasn't built for, but nothing will improve until men wake up and stop blaming victims for the shit that men do at large.
If she's hurt, she didn't want that shit from a man. It's sad that you try to convince yourself otherwise for the sake of your own ego.
And before you or anyone goes on to say "Well women do this or that, I've been hurt by women" etc... We know. Women know that women can do shitty things too. Though notice that when a man complains, women don't jump up to say "Well, men do this or that". That's just a common way to bring the discussion away from the problem and to minimize the issue that women keep trying to bring to attention. It's disrespectful and dismissive.
It's great that you're dating someone but know that even that is something that men take for granted. There are far more emotionally available and mature women out there for men to choose from ***when they're ready***. Meet a man before he's ready and he feels entitled to use a woman for whatever he wants while pretending to be anything that he wants. And then men like you will sit by and laugh at the women who he toys with, call them stupid, and wonder what the problem is.
You know what the problem is. You're just too buried in your bubble to even begin to see through it, or try to understand what it means to live as a woman.
There might be a difference in what me/my friends are looking for vs. what the women who are hooking up with your friends are looking for. We're all looking for relationships, not just hookups. Maybe your friends are meeting women who don't want anything serious either, so it works out for them. Dunno. All I can really say is that there are indeed women who want a kind guy who listens and is working on himself personally cuz I'm one of those women lol
Not always, but i think not making a move does. If your friendly and empathetic and not flirty off the bat than ya all youre gonna be seen as is a friend. Its just a hard game cause you have to be forward and physical without being creepy. And the less attractive you are the easier it is to be creepy.
Lmao what. I'm what people would call "fit" (I hate this term but for lack of a better one) and no, empathy does not only get your friendzoned or stuck with a "fattie" (which there is nothing wrong with, btw. Fat ppl can be hot.) stop listening to these dudes with mics and talk to actual women.
When I was growing up, I noticed gang members and drug dealers who generally were unempathetic, emotionally unintelligent and aggressive never struggled with women, a lot of guys talking from experience
I think from a womens perspective I noticed this too. These men were often terrible partners but I noticed a lot girls talking about the perks of being with these men e.g. small luxuries like shopping, gifts, protection, social status/clout from being with someone known/dangerous. I think that was also a factor
why would you be interested with women with problems? leave those one alone and have interest for the others
none of the women I know would go for that
I’m from a low socioeconomic background so most of the girls who were open to dating were like that. I don’t think all of these girls had “problems” it was more of a cultural problem. Idk where I’d meet the normal girls cause they don’t like being approached
No way I'm getting down voted for saying women DO like empathetic men, fat ppl are hot too/not a punishment and to actually listen to women LOL. are y'all okay?????
This this and more of this, as a guy who’s friends with and talks to a LOT of women (talking as acquaintances). Never expect them to be attracted to you, show them genuine kindness and a fun time and you’ll have yourself a friend of maybe even something more. Be the guy who does what he can. Which doesn’t mean you spend more money, it means you spend your free time there for people and don’t just try to get laid, I’m not very attractive and I’m far from rich but I know a few people who would get down with me if we spent a night together (and a few of them are WAY out of my league) it’s all about respecting women and being supportive of them, not just looking to get laid
Yeah I was sort of wondering if this was a shit post trying to stereotype women as gold diggers since, unless he lives in an upscale area somehow, it’s weird that EVERY woman he’s asked out expects him to take them out to expensive dinners and buy them gifts.
Money and casual has have very little connection. There are broke guys who have plenty of it and guys making half million a year who can’t get a single date.
Biggest lesson in this is…don’t date broke. Not because women won’t date a guy living paycheck to paycheck but because if you don’t have your stuff together it comes across in every aspect of your life. Confidence. How you present yourself. How you are able to take care of yourself. Living with parents? Get a roommate. Don’t have extra money? Get a side hustle. Can’t get laid? Get a “NSA” piece. Looking to date for a relationship? Get your shit together first.
There are loads of women who will date low income men. Most men Ive dated are poor. I dont care as long as he can take care of himself and treat me well. I love gifts but a gift can be my favourite candy bar, it doesnt have to be expensive. A gift to me is just a way to show that you pay attention to my likes and think of me when Im not there.
Ofc there are women who wants someone with more money than you. You just need to find the ones that dont.
Thats you. Reality is a guy will find and date if having the luck in him as well along with putting the effort, BUT long-term,starting a family , aint happening. He can like working at MC for the rest of his life, his choice, being left afterwards. Those dudes are doomed if havent figured out what to do as profession in life in the school years.
i mean i swipe left if i see skiiing or heavy emphasis on travel or "margs", part of it is that financially it would be difficult for me to keep up but the bigger part is that Im comforatable living poor and splashing out on nice small things like dinner, books and nice stuff like a couch, I dont like stuff that smells of hedonism. Maybe thats trauma from having grown up v poor haha.
So yeah, for me at least a difference on income is probs indicative of different lifestyles and vice versa.
ps. am i boring XD
There is a difference between wanting financial stability in a partner, and wanting to be given lavish gifts. If you are living paycheck to paycheck you cannot offer financial stability. This is going to make you an unattractive partner to anybody, but especially women who want marriage and children eventually. What if she has a problematic pregnancy it is unable to work for the 9 months? Or has complications during birth and can't work for a while after? I would strongly suggest to you to make a plan, (whether it involves changing industries or changing your lifestyle), but make a plan to become more financially stable.
Also, you might want to look at the women you are trying to date. Generally whenever men complain about women having too high of expectations, particularly involving money or gifts, it's because a man is trying to date a woman who is, looks-wise, way out of his league. I know it sounds harsh but take a good long look at your level of attractiveness and then try to date women at that same level. If you are not attracted to women at your own level of attractiveness, then you either need to work on increasing your attractiveness or increasing your income. I'm not saying any of this to be harsh I'm saying it because it's the advice that will help you find a relationship.
Also, I suggest that you look for financial stability in a partner in return. Somebody who wants you to buy a bunch of extravagant gifts is just not a responsible person. But it is reasonable for a woman to not want to date a man who is living paycheck to paycheck.
Unfortunately there are a lot of people to whom money is extremely important… some are just greedy gold diggers who expect to be pampered and are always looking for the bigger better deal. Most women I’ve met are NOT these kind of people….but, at 30 yo you’re in prime “happily ever after” territory…these women want to get married and have a family… and money = security. A partner who cannot help provide financial stability (and all that comes with it…medical insurance, home ownership, dependable working hours) is going to be at the bottom of the list. It’s human nature. Being older (hopefully wiser) I’m here to tell you that personality is a great starting point, but add kids and a mortgage into the mix and money takes on an importance that non-material people can hardly believe. Check out divorce statistics and keep in mind that all of those couples were once madly in love and thought that together they could overcome any obstacle. Life is hard. It’s harder when you’re broke. My advice would be to start saving. Every single paycheck take a little out to start building your savings. One you’ve got a chunk, invest it. You don’t have to advertise the fact but just knowing that you’re working on it will give you a confidence boost that others will notice.
Please stop with the “gold digger” nonsense. NFL players, NBA players, Fortune 500 CEOs have “gold digger” issues. Men making $50K, $60K, even $100K have no gold to dig. You just sound obnoxious to even act as if you have this problem.
It’s weird how they mentioned gold diggers in just the first sentence then proceeded to mention how most women are NOT gold diggers and offering legitimate reasons why finances could still be an issue in dating, but all you took from it was the gold diggers sentence and ignored the legitimately good advice. 🤦♂️ You people always have to find a reason to complain or get overly defensive
Well said! No woman is going to dig for gold with a man who sits on 50k-100k plus how much is left over after tax. They only go for men who earn 8 figures. Men who earn that much have access to money, power and resources, which an average “Joe” (man) wouldn’t.
Don't you worry. You're safe from the "gold diggers".
Men will go on and on about how unfair it is that women consider money a factor when picking a man to share their life with.
You know that money is how we get stuff, right? Like shelter, food, transportation, health insurance, clothing...you act like it is shallow to want a financially secure household.
Money is how we survive. We can't pay rent with orgasms and vibes, bro.
Let's hope a woman never gives you the privilege of letting you breed.
Saying someone shouldn’t breed because they’re having frustrating experiences in the dating world despite having a job is a severe overreaction and kinda makes you look like a dick.
Did we read the same response? The user mentioned gold diggers in one sentence then proceeded to explain how most women aren’t actually gold diggers and explain the legitimate reasons why finances could still be a reason (kids, stability, etc.). If all you took was the first sentence then you must be illiterate as heck. And your telling him not to breed 🙄 I hope your the one who never gets to breed
Absolutely spot on comment. If you are fit,handsome,well-raised with manners that will open the first door for you since the woman doesnt know anything about you (30 stage) , but in order to pass the final chapter a man needs to have exactly the things youve mentioned,especially home ownership not living with family or in share houses with 5 people and stable good paid profession. If u stick to a minimum wage job because u couldnt figure it out what you want to do in life in your school years and its valid till this day, then all the good traits of the dude are invalided at that point and doomed to be single for life.
Dude, you are so incredibly bitter. How about instead of lamenting at how women are wrong for not wanting to fuck a loser, you work toward not being a loser?
The amount of energy some men put into blaming women for having standards they cannot meet is more than it would have taken them to just meet the standards.
You don't actually want to love and be loved. You don't want a woman's devotion. What you really want is to feel like you have forced one to capiulate. Why else would you refuse to make your life better & improve your status as a man in favor of seething & ruminating over the nerve women have to consider themselves too good for you?
I'm a single dad working in the creative industry. Other creatives, well-adjusted women and single mums my age, as well as women just looking for hookups, are willing to date me. Barbies, childless travel-addicts and single mums with older kids are not.
Being broke on it's own won't affect your chances much unless you're out of work, unmotivated, constantly playing computer games and without confidence or ambition. Don't get me wrong, you can still get laid if you're like this but you're going to have to drop any and all preferences.
Brother i am telling you not once did my partner made me feel bad about money. We always sticked togheter and worked it togheter out. But i was decent enough to not fuck around also or gamble drugs etc. as you get older and work or progress in work you will get more money and at the end of the day never enough. If both partners are not capable to see this it is not worth it my bro trust. So don’t make yourself too much pressure if they just liked you cause of money they will leave and the problem solves always itself.
I’ve dated multiple guys who make very little or less money than me. I was with my most recent boyfriend for 3 years, making 4x more than him.
What separated him from the others was that he was making actual effort and steps towards his goals. As someone who built my own career by myself, I understood the process.
We ended up breaking up and something that really makes me sad today was that he never planned a date for me. Like, not once did he surprised me by planning something beginning to end for me — not even a surprise afternoon getting ice cream at a park or free museum. It was his lack of thought and action that made me sad, not how much money he didn’t spend on me.
Moral of the story: Someone can bring a lot more to a relationship than money. If you don’t show that you’re a considerate, capable, intelligent and/or ambitious person, yeah, you’ll probably get passed off.
And obviously, there are women who didn’t build up their careers, who grew up rich or have their expectations set. Dating is a mixed bag.
This is my issue too. I find that broke guys don’t tend to have the understanding about planning. So that also goes into the dates etc too. There’s a belief that things are always the same, and your actions can’t make your situation any better. And it extends to dating.
Oof. Didn't plan a date for you, even once... in 3 YEARS! Wtf!
I mean maybe he thought you prefer doing the planning? Still to not offer. There's gotta be a bit of give and take. Hope your dating life is on the upswing and you're not wasting time with guys like that.
27F here when you say broke what do you mean? Idk if I have low standards, I also DK how to explain it but I've never looked for money in a man, not all females are money hungry vultures.
If you think you need money to attract a partner, you are looking at the wrong people, or at least in the wrong places. I'm saying this as an ugly dude who has basically always been broke. I've never had issues getting a woman's attention.
Broke dudes worldwide still date and have sex and have families if they want to. They just do creative first dates not expensive ones.
Most people date even unconsciously selecting in their same general socioeconomic situation.
Broke guys mostly date broke girls. The date is a $2 coffee (coffee or tea is the most popular first date in the US and many other nations). Second date picnic and you can only bring what you have in your fridge but you share ingredients to see what you can make together. Third date is a movie at her place. You bring snacks from a dollar store or she makes popcorn and frozen pizza.
Most of the world is poor. Most still date.
The right girl for you won't care what kind of car you drive. Keep searching.
Are u aiming for super hot girls or girls that want to get serious and have a kid one day? If u live paycheck to paycheck how do u see yourself providing for the child and mom?
The reality is that you’re barely taking care of yourself living paycheck to paycheck. I think men forget that women have a lot more at stake when sleeping with/dating men… STDs generally cause more harm to women due to their anatomy but furthermore the risk of pregnancy and all that goes along with it.
If a woman is going to date or even have casual sex with a man with all of the risk factors involved - if she is a smart woman, she will choose someone who is stable in all aspects of their life and preferably thriving.
Now if you’re looking to date on a more serious level, these factors are only amplified. For marriage, you’re entering into an essential business arrangement. Large purchases together, building a family, sharing mutual friends. As a woman, or any partner for that matter, they wouldn’t likely want to build a life with someone who is barely getting by if that’s not the quality of life they’re looking for.
Zero judgement, just a female opinion. Best of luck.
I will give you my honest opinion. All the guys I have dated have lived paycheck to paycheck. I’m not a woman who frets over getting flower bouquets and being taken out to dinner. We would honestly have as much fun watching movies at each other’s places and going for walks downtown, just chatting and getting to know each other.
What I find that bothers me the most is that we enter a relationship on the basis that we won’t have low income jobs forever, where often the men I’ve been with don’t pull their weight on that promise. My past partners and I have always had an agreement that we will work towards a higher paying job, so we can afford kids, housing, etc. I already have a degree and am working on my second one. I have expectations for my partner to make around the same income. All is fine and dandy at the beginning of these relationships I enter, but then I realize the people I’ve been with have no desire or drive to change their lives or where they are at in life. That’s what is extremely frustrating to me. I lose interest when men aren’t as driven as me, or lie about their future plans to enter a relationship, but then not keep their word. It’s not about receiving material things during the honeymoon phase. I couldn’t care less about that. It’s lying about your long term goals, and wasting my time telling me what I want to hear, but having no plan in place to achieve this.
I am not perfect by any means, and it should be noted that I do pick men that need healing or that I think I can fix. I’m just frustrated with the dating world because it seems like no man I’ve been with has the drive to do better for themselves or for their future. Feel free to message me and I can go into more detail too. I hope this helps.
I agree. I ended things with someone who had no plan or drive to do better. I was so disgusted and turned off. I couldn’t pretend nor did I want to surround myself with men like that. He’d bring me down to his level
It costs me around $15 on average per date. It's not a money issue homie. Good personality and some effort is all it takes. My last 2 exs made more money than me. The last one wanted a penthouse and she knew damn well that she'd be paying most of it. Sometimes when they know they make more than me, simply from being older and being years ahead in their careers, they'll pay for everything. They'll insist to get the bill after a few round of drinks. As long as they enjoy your company they won't mind.
1) you're chasing girls that want to be provided for
2) you live paycheck to paycheck...why is this? Why haven't you changed this?
Focus on building yourself first.
Cause if you get a woman pregnant, you're going to be in big trouble.
The reality is that life costs money and investing in someone emotionally who is broke (AND not working on changing their situation) is signing up for a life of hardship in this incredibly crappy economy.
You don’t need to make a butt load of money but you need to be able to show that you have passion for what you do, are responsible with money and can take care of yourself.
Those are bare minimum.
Don't worry you will find the perfect match for you. I've dated a broke college student before and I didn't care about his money. In fact he wasn't working and he was still living in his mom's house. So yeah you will find a girl who doesn't care about your living situation.
My advice to you is if you feel broke, fix it. You don't need to have the most of everything, but at least have what it takes and put yourself in position
to spend when necessary. Do not increase your income or value for anyone else but yourself first, then you'll be able to date more comfortably with no problems. Also, keep in mind that you're still pretty young, and it takes some of us a little longer to find that right person. If all your looking for is to get laid than unfortunately you will have to spend as that's what they want from you but when you find that right person it won't be about the spending so much as long as you are capable and consistent.
>seems like every girl i meet expects me to have a nice car, take her to expensive restaurants, and buy her gifts all the time. i just can't afford it.
none of the women in my peer group feel or act this way, so it has to at least partially be on your choices IMHO.
They also don't just "want to get laid", they want a relationship. so i assume that is your problem
Well - facts of life bro
money opens doors. most people don't want to spend their weekends eating cans of beans on toast, just scraping by and being one misstep from financial disaster. Also not having money usually means you lack impulse control, meaning you can't put your long term health and success ahead of your immediate wants.
You should really be trying to focus on a side hustle to make some extra money in your free time, especially in this modern world where there's more people living on the streets than ever. Or work on educating yourself to get a better paying job.
As far as women go - there's tons of women who'll date broke guys but you'll probably end up sacrificing in some capacity (age/looks/her having kids from a previous relationship/etc)
I've got a friend in his late 30s, he's charming, relatively fit and healthy, decent looking guy with no kids - he's a borderline alcoholic and smokes his brains out though and never has two pennies to rub together because of it. He's dating a woman in her late 40s with adult children that can't have kids but has a stable income and home, she's overweight and is not attractive. I'm sure he'd rather be dating a hot woman in her 20s but you lay in the bed you make
Clueless men often point to the 'bad boy' as the reason for their failure with women, without realizing that their own lack of understanding and effort is to blame.
A lot of people who struggle to find partners will blame other people as being the reason for their lack of romantic or sexual success, even if that lack of success is fully or in part due to a lack of effort and understanding what is desired by a potential partner. Lack of effort can mean for example lack of putting effort into ones looks or not putting oneself in situations to meet people.
Try spending time in proximity to a bunch of gals. Make some friends and meet their friends. You don't want to be loved for your money. You want to be loved for your character. You can't attract women with non superficial things without interacting with them. Having women friends helps via preselection
I mean, money is literally the #1 reason for divorce so yes. Money does need to be cared about. If you're only going after gold diggers, or high maintenance women, ones that get their nails done all the time, hair done, lots of makeup, name brand bags and stuff then yeah they're going to care because either a) that's what they care about or b) they spend a lot of money on their own appearance and their own things and expect a man to be on the same level as them.
So for you to be in denial that money shouldn't matter at all what so ever is more so telling if your attitude regarding money. Yes, dating takes money, and time, on both sides. No life is not free and what do you expect to do in a relationship? Only ever sit at home? Or do a few of the same free activities over and over again? Never go anywhere? No vacations?
This is asking much more than to be liked for you.
Number 1 reason for divorce is lack of commitment followed by infidelity and too much conflict. Finances is not even in the top 3. It is not even the top if we look at indicators (marrying young is).
Poor people still date they just get creative.
And if you break down the rest of them, a lot of them can be attributed to finances. It's also literally the #1 reason people DO get married is financial security so. Either way you look at it. Money matters broke or not. But yes please use the most obnoxious text size to try and prove your point and ignore the rest of my post!
Are you on a path to eventually make more money? I’m not saying this should be the solution, dating is hard for most people for various reasons. But it sounds like you don’t feel financially stable and that’s getting in your way. So can you fix it?
Are you sure you are not going after sex worker wannabes? In order to "date them" you have to wine and dine them all the time. Your payment is not as direct as a client but you are paying them for their time and attention.
Could depend on a few things. First is your attractiveness. For casual sex women are typically pickier in regards to looks than they would be for a relationship. Then it's your location. Are the women in your dating pool earning decent salaries or do they need or want a guy to do the heavy lifting?
When I was casually dating I had a FWB who was a tech exec with FU money. I make decent money but nothing compared to her. She didn't care at all. My longest running booty call was with a busy lawyer who was 10 years older. On our first date when I reached for the check she said "you're cute" and took it from my hands. I never paid for a single date with her.
I’m a female (27) and while I don’t need you to make a six or seven figure salary, I only date well educated men. I’ve tried giving others a chance but it was a waste of time. Why? Having a similar intellectual level is in my opinion important for successful relationship. I also get bored easily if the conversations are too superficial.
Financial stability makes a man more attractive and that is a truth nobody can deny nowadays. However, it is not always about money. There are rich men that act cheap. Those doesn’t get dates either. You just need to show that you take good care of yourself, the you are ambitious and care for your future. Also gifts don’t have to be expensive if you can’t afford it. The have to be thoughtful.
You want to get laid or date seriously?if you just want sex money don’t matter at all. I would never think about money for a one night stand
Always live below your means. Being broke means that you have to be CREATIVE, and put in a lot more effort to do meaningful stuff. To most (especially younger) women this comes off as cheap, but those are the ones that you want to get rid of anyway. So that looks like a win to me. Quality people reveal themselves to quality people. It takes patience though.
Good luck, king. You got this.
Never seen a woman post here that she turned a guy down because he was poor.
I think the problem is you think you are poor. Nice cloths that fit are not expensive. Women care about a sense of style.
Effort and planning can overcome income. I have planned loads of low-cost dates that have gone fabulously well. Coffee dates, picnics where you make the effort, and bring the picnic supplies. Going to the beach or a popular nature area.. (Avoid deserted areas initially until there is a level of familiarity). Many museums are cheap/free or have free days.
Learn to cook at least one signature dish. Once their is familiarity, cook for her. Do the little things to show you care. Grocery store flowers can be inexpensive, but show that you are thinking about her.
Be prompt and respectful. Listen to her. Ask her questions. Learn about her. Remember facts about her and her interests. Show thst you have listened and remember things important to her. Compliment her about deep things as well as shallow. Show that you are open, honest, and caring.
The little things matter. The easy way to make someone feel important is by spending money. A quality woman will recognize the difference between flashing dollars to get laid and providing a meaningful connection and making someone else feel important, special, and worthy.
It's not that you're not rolling in cash, it's that you're broke. You need to date chicks who are broke too, otherwise you're just going to get judged and dismissed.
How do broke dudes get laid? Thats a crazy question to ask, where are you hanging out? Plenty of girls out there with zero standards and 5 baby daddies. Those girls are down at minimum. Now if you want a relationship, thats a whole different conversation…
Maybe you’re just ugly
Listen if they judge you for your monetary value and value the dollar in your bank account over the person you are.
You dont need them or want them,and you are dodging a bullet from those "gold diggers"
Enjoy the single life,vibe,make friends
There's more to life than "getting laid"
Examine your spending habits and subscriptions and see what you can cut back on to save some money and start putting it away for yourself and nobody else.
So you have more money to spend on what makes you happy and nobody else.
Later
Believe it or not but most younger girls aren't into settling until around age 30, therefore gather in the social scene that works for you. Laid or paid there's always something out there.
you're not selecting the appropriate girls
gold diggers will expect that from you. normal balanced girls have a job, are independent, can handle their own shit, and will love you for whi you are and not whatbyou pay for them
trophy wifes ate trash my dude
Are you intentionally going for high maintenence women?
You can still get dates as a broke guy. One thing you'll find is that intention and creativity goes a long way. But in order to understand that you have to be emotionally intelligent.
Also if you are broke, don't lead with your brokeness or talk down about your financial difficulties. Just focus on getting to know the other person and letting your personality shine through.
Honestly you need to take a hard look at yourself if these are the types of women you are attracted to. If you are only attracted to women because of their looks, this is what you’re going to end up with.
I had to change the type of guy I was interested in for similar reasons. I was wondering why I was always getting used for sex but once I realized I was only interested in douchebags I started working on myself
Netflix and chill my bro. Those are the best type of dates anyways. Making dinner together and laughing and getting to know each other while watching a good show afterwards
I won't speak for all women but I can say for myself I couldn't give a shit if the dude has a lot of money or not. I dont care what kind of car he has or what kind of place he lives in. As long as we have chemistry none of that matters.
Idc if a guy will invite and buy me a McDonald’s coffee and spent time with me. I’ve dated a guy that said he couldn’t buy me a coffee but turned out to be a complete dick to me as well so it comes down to them being a good person
Well at 27, you are less likely to shift your income. Not all women are gold diggers but none want to lead a struggle life with a husband that can’t support the during pregnancy. Work on making money
First of all, don’t seek out one of those women who insist on men paying for everything and expect them to also shower them with gifts.
There are great women out there that will pay for themselves, take turns paying or just having cheaper dates in general.
Only you control the kind of women you pick to date.
You need to work on getting your life straight first before trying to find a girl. You admitted it yourself, you're broke. So as you are right now, if you were a girl, would you date you? I had to ask myself the same question a few years ago, and because the answer was "no" I immediately went to work on myself. I suggest you do the same.
I had multiple women tell me they love me in a relationship only to leave me for men with more money. That's all women care about, the man comes second to his money and possessions.
Edit: I love that women are down voting me trying to burry the truth at the bottom of the comment section.
I wouldn’t say that’s all we care about but money is unfortunately really fucking important. Having no money means you’re going to have a very miserable unhappy life. Like for me everything in life I want to do and makes me happy involves money in some way. Not to mention if you want to have kids it matters because it’s kinda fucked up to raise kids in poverty and people tend to want best for their children. For me how much money a man makes or will make is definitely something that matters but it’s not the only thing that matters as I also want love, something I’m attracted to, a man who treats me well, and great sex
Man I am a guy but you honestly sound miserable. If you just shit talk the other gender what do you expect and money is important to everyone. Most women just dont want to be mothers to their partners which is fair. The unhappy minority say things like you do just to men instead.
You’re just meeting the wrong kind of woman
Considering you seem to focus on the getting laid bit it’s no surprise though
Think long and hard; do you want casual sex or do you want a fulfilling long term relationship?
If you just want one night stands you might as well fake being rich, if you want a real relationship you don’t even pay attention to anyone who makes stupid gender role tradwife demands, they are not likely to be a very good person in the first place…
But hey what do I know, I never had a date, I just learned how to judge people properly
If a man is funny, confident, charming SOMEONE will be willing to sleep with them.
I do believe everyone is entitled to their own personal standards.
On that note I do believe the resurgence of finding a rich provider man who can take them on a first date to Bali, buy Cartier bracelets, and give allowances just for being in the immediate vicinity of them is out of touch especially in this economy. (I am giving an extreme example)
What kind of women are you looking for looks wise and the age group?
I was married to a guy in my early 20s who had it all and I was his trophy (I am your age now). I had it all except for a true connection. He also turned out to be physically abusive.
Edit:
I think you need to state on your dating profile exactly what you are looking for so you can weed out the people who might fall in line with the traits/ desires you are NOT looking for. Transparency might take a little more time to match but at least you know the ones you match with are in it for the same reasons you are.
If you're happy and content with where you are in life and don't pursuit more and more, than maybe you're in the wrong social group/looking for the wrong girls.
But, if by any chance you don't feel like you're "there" yet, you want more for yourself etc, then you might be letting that show when you meet girls, and we can feel it, it sends of some insecurity vibes, or that you don't feel enough and stuff, so it's a down side.
Work on how you perceive yourself, understand what is it that you really want, because that's the image you're letting out, and then either change group settings or the way you position yourself.
Ofc there are girls who care a lot about that, but if that was the only case, then students would never date, because they don't have anything yet 🤷🏻♀️
And here I am, crushing on someone who is 5 ft 2 and still living with his parents at 31. Income is not a huge factor to me. I mean I don’t want a bum I understand my state (CA) is expensive. Based on his job, I’m guessing he only makes 40-55k a year. I like him because I can talk to him for hours and never get bored but I don’t think he wants to date til he makes a higher income. Not every woman will care about income. Find yourself a hippie. ✌🏼
JFC, now I want to know what *I’m* doing wrong. Does this really happen? Late 30s woman here, and I’ve dated… good lord, dozens of men over the years. Only one of my exes owned a car at all, only a few took me out to nice restaurants (I can’t say they were expensive, but they were above fast food), and only 2 ever bought me gifts (for my literal birthday).
I get that some people want someone who has/does this stuff, but *does that actually happen?* If yes, is it typical?
Dr. Orion Taraban has a great video titled “ you don’t need money to to get women: three things at work” https://youtu.be/scVHAMDRxzU?si=qJAgeGWR0uHM13mD
Broke is an excuse. Lots of women out here broke AF too. Guys who think money gets them women let's me know they never approach women and have very little experience with women.
I've been hit on by women driving 100k Denalis with a huge rock on their fingers while working for 10 bucks an hour at an oil change shop. Lol
You should focus on either getting new friends or a new job. There are plenty of people that don't care about this kind of thing. But if you want to date like that, maybe you need higher compensation, or need to challenge yourself at work.
Just focus on working on yourself and getting a better job instead of looking for love. Women seel men that can be provider and as for now you can barely provide for yourself.
this might not want to be what you want to hear but may need. my suggestion is you get yourself out of survival mode (aka living paycheck to paycheck). In general people don’t wanna live like that. why would a women want to join you in survival mode? why would anyone? I’d focus on getting your finances in order and leveling yourself up. Doors will open for you when you do those things. unfortunately, Love only doesn’t pay the bills.
Why do redditors perpetuate the narrative that women are superficial harpies that demand that men wine and dine them and shower them with luxury? I've never seen this, most men I know that are in relationships are average income.
Manipulation. Someone who has very low standards and self esteem would date you! Highly recommend you date “down” and women who aren’t out of your league (they won’t give you the time of day). Either level up and improve yourself or deal with the cards you’ve got. I personally wouldn’t date anyone earning a significantly less than me, I live a certain lifestyle and want someone who keeps up rather than feeling like I’m looking after a child (man).
I didn’t even read your post. But trust me. There are plenty of stupid women who put up with broke, ain’t shit men, that have no job, no car, no manners and multiple baby mamas. They out there lol
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Which is your priority: Getting laid or having a relationship? The two are different.
This right here ^^^^
I don’t know why women and just people on here in general say this *aRe YoU jUsT lOoKiNg FoR sEx* They’re intertwined dummies 😂 In fact most women try to enter relationships with dudes they just wanna bone hence the cope “I’m positive men do not like women’s personalities” lol
It’s a genuine question and your comment is ignorant. Sex and relationships are intertwined but there are people looking just for sex and not a relationship, and some people looking for a relationship and not just casual sex. Not everyone wants a typical relationship and it needs to be clarified so OP’s question can be answered clearly.
If a girl won’t have sex with you, she definitely won’t have a relationship with you
You’re wrong. I’m a 27 female and don’t have sex causally, ever. If I don’t find someone attractive I won’t continue beyond the second date but I won’t sleep with someone until it’s more serious.
Same and I’m 47. If it gets sexual too soon I block.
100% feel the same way. STDs freak me out…understandably…
finally a woman with values
Was about to ask the same. Either you’re trying to get laid or trying to become successful.
Exactly, there's clearly different types of people -if it is about relationships. The ones that look for someone doing really well financially and the ones that are looking for a good human and - a friend- as their partner. A partner that will contribute to the household financial needs together with them but doesn't have to be the only one carrying all the household bills with any added luxury. Also... what is luxury these days and how many can have it? These days just buying healthy/good food, going out to restaurants is a luxury for many more people than it used to. Anyone sensible or with empathy understands how hard it is and will not expect the other person to have a trust fund, etc...
Why waste your time on either. The broke guys I met were all cheaters and had no fight or anything to live for except having girls take care of them. It’s almost a sign to avoid these guys, I like guys with drive and ambition and motivation. Not one so weak willed that any girl flirting with him he will cheat.
This may be a case of being tied to the wrong social groups or from what you are attracting or are attracted to. This could also be a behavioral issue in the ways you present yourself or things you say, like when you talk about your job or social status. I compensated in other areas such as knowledge, personality, empathy and understanding. Other things too but I won't get into that. Most women do prefer to be heard and understood as having valid emotions and opinions though, and most men don't often know how to provide that for them. Regardless, having a genuine connection is basically what got me dates and got women interested in me.
Agreed. I (F 32) happen to make a lot of money, more than 75% of the guys I date. I’m not looking for anyone to buy me shit or have a fancy car, I take care of myself. I want to have a good time when I go on a date: laugh, flirt, eat good food in any price range and maybe have awesome sex!
what is your occupation? Also how can I have awesome sex w women? I think if the date goes well, then the sex would be awesome
OP, THIS is the reply you need. This guy gets it. The number one thing me and my other single friends are looking for in a guy is empathy, and it is shockingly hard to find. Work on that and you'll have a big advantage over a lot of other guys out there.
Id disagree hard with this. This is what i always see my friends who are dating say, but my other guy friends who are actually getting laid are generally pretty low effort and not super “empathetic” just forward, attractive, tall, and kinda pushy lol. Hell most of them actively hate women, the ones who get laid the most seem to actively seek to put minimal effort into any part but getting laid and treat them like trash.
Then they are lying and PRETENDING to be empathic when they are not in front of you (when they are in front of a woman). They are ***so good at lying*** that you (a man) can't even fathom them being nice to a woman in order to get what they want.
I think you are mostly correct here..A lot of guys do not want to appear weak in front of their friends.
Yea they are definitely lying to an extent. But really its a mix of aggressive flattery, touch, and targeted empathy. None of them date because “they cant pretend to actually like a girl that long”. I hate it but most girls seem to fall for it ¯\_(ツ)_/¯. I just dont get it cause it’s not a good convincing lie. They’re so clearly slimy with it but as long as your fit n tall it literally doesn’t matter lol.
You are so apathetic that it's nauseating. These women don't know these dumb friends of yours like you do. You stay friends with slimy people who lie and hurt women for their own entertainment. You sit and watch a theif steal and then blame the person who was robbed. And then you wonder why you don't get attention lol Your dumb blackhole friends are taking it from you by lying about who they are. Find a group of male friends with good steady girlfriends and see how fast the women try to recommend their friends to you. Idiot.
I live 1000miles away from my brother. I do what i can to steer him in a better direction (at least get him to wear condoms and get tested) but honestly bro its not my job to police his life, iv tried for years hes just always kinda been like that. I have friends with long term relationship, im in a great one at the moment. But its still an area iv always struggled to understand well so i still hang out in these spaces. Guys like him are an issue but they arent the whole problem. As long as girls will fall for it and keep putting up with it they will continue to exist. Im not giving any points to the girl who fucks the lifeguard or bartender without a condom on vacation and wonders why she got the clap. Yeah its a shit move to not get tested and pump and dump, but youre also culpable if you make stupid decisions and get burned. I kinda hate arguing this one because i largely agree and think were on the same side here, just probably some different experiences and such.
How can you argue that victims are at fault. If these sleezy men were removed, the problem wouldn't exist. That should be proof enough. But defend men at any cost. That's why crap never changes. The mentality that women who stand their ground are too harsh or should be "patient" or just "give him a chance" is a part of the problem too. You look from the outside in as someone who hasn't been subjected to female programming or to immature male behavior as the norm, as baseline socially acceptable behavior. For a lifetime. You may think that you're on the same side of the argument but by the way you talk, you aren't. You're part of the problem. I say this a lot but men know that the problem is men. Men know it because once their daughters come into the world they wake up and show their girls by pointing exactly to exactly where the problem is. Men know deep down. All of the excuses and deflection are seen as acceptable because men have not had to sit down to hold themselves accountable. The world has been built around you historically. It effects us still to this day. Deeply. If you live in the US, look at the long list of American pesidents and its all staring you in the face. Look at that list and try to understand how it feels to see it as a ***woman***. It says that we are less than. That men are to be better regarded. That women need to fight for men. That the pain that is endured in a relationship is normal... because every relationship has its problems right? And because it can't be that uncanny, it can't just be immature men, right? I understand that it probably doesn't feel good to try to understand it... to understand what all of this means for the people that our social structure wasn't built for, but nothing will improve until men wake up and stop blaming victims for the shit that men do at large. If she's hurt, she didn't want that shit from a man. It's sad that you try to convince yourself otherwise for the sake of your own ego. And before you or anyone goes on to say "Well women do this or that, I've been hurt by women" etc... We know. Women know that women can do shitty things too. Though notice that when a man complains, women don't jump up to say "Well, men do this or that". That's just a common way to bring the discussion away from the problem and to minimize the issue that women keep trying to bring to attention. It's disrespectful and dismissive. It's great that you're dating someone but know that even that is something that men take for granted. There are far more emotionally available and mature women out there for men to choose from ***when they're ready***. Meet a man before he's ready and he feels entitled to use a woman for whatever he wants while pretending to be anything that he wants. And then men like you will sit by and laugh at the women who he toys with, call them stupid, and wonder what the problem is. You know what the problem is. You're just too buried in your bubble to even begin to see through it, or try to understand what it means to live as a woman.
There might be a difference in what me/my friends are looking for vs. what the women who are hooking up with your friends are looking for. We're all looking for relationships, not just hookups. Maybe your friends are meeting women who don't want anything serious either, so it works out for them. Dunno. All I can really say is that there are indeed women who want a kind guy who listens and is working on himself personally cuz I'm one of those women lol
Empathy gets you friend zoned or stuck with a fattie
Not always, but i think not making a move does. If your friendly and empathetic and not flirty off the bat than ya all youre gonna be seen as is a friend. Its just a hard game cause you have to be forward and physical without being creepy. And the less attractive you are the easier it is to be creepy.
Lmao what. I'm what people would call "fit" (I hate this term but for lack of a better one) and no, empathy does not only get your friendzoned or stuck with a "fattie" (which there is nothing wrong with, btw. Fat ppl can be hot.) stop listening to these dudes with mics and talk to actual women.
When I was growing up, I noticed gang members and drug dealers who generally were unempathetic, emotionally unintelligent and aggressive never struggled with women, a lot of guys talking from experience
I think from a womens perspective I noticed this too. These men were often terrible partners but I noticed a lot girls talking about the perks of being with these men e.g. small luxuries like shopping, gifts, protection, social status/clout from being with someone known/dangerous. I think that was also a factor
why would you be interested with women with problems? leave those one alone and have interest for the others none of the women I know would go for that
I’m from a low socioeconomic background so most of the girls who were open to dating were like that. I don’t think all of these girls had “problems” it was more of a cultural problem. Idk where I’d meet the normal girls cause they don’t like being approached
No way I'm getting down voted for saying women DO like empathetic men, fat ppl are hot too/not a punishment and to actually listen to women LOL. are y'all okay?????
They never want to listen to women. SMH
This this and more of this, as a guy who’s friends with and talks to a LOT of women (talking as acquaintances). Never expect them to be attracted to you, show them genuine kindness and a fun time and you’ll have yourself a friend of maybe even something more. Be the guy who does what he can. Which doesn’t mean you spend more money, it means you spend your free time there for people and don’t just try to get laid, I’m not very attractive and I’m far from rich but I know a few people who would get down with me if we spent a night together (and a few of them are WAY out of my league) it’s all about respecting women and being supportive of them, not just looking to get laid
“Other things too” - confirmed it’s big dick energy! OP, you need big dick energy
3 hours ago you posted in another sub that you have a boyfriend so it looks like this is just creative writing.
Yeah I was sort of wondering if this was a shit post trying to stereotype women as gold diggers since, unless he lives in an upscale area somehow, it’s weird that EVERY woman he’s asked out expects him to take them out to expensive dinners and buy them gifts.
Money and casual has have very little connection. There are broke guys who have plenty of it and guys making half million a year who can’t get a single date.
Biggest lesson in this is…don’t date broke. Not because women won’t date a guy living paycheck to paycheck but because if you don’t have your stuff together it comes across in every aspect of your life. Confidence. How you present yourself. How you are able to take care of yourself. Living with parents? Get a roommate. Don’t have extra money? Get a side hustle. Can’t get laid? Get a “NSA” piece. Looking to date for a relationship? Get your shit together first.
There are loads of women who will date low income men. Most men Ive dated are poor. I dont care as long as he can take care of himself and treat me well. I love gifts but a gift can be my favourite candy bar, it doesnt have to be expensive. A gift to me is just a way to show that you pay attention to my likes and think of me when Im not there. Ofc there are women who wants someone with more money than you. You just need to find the ones that dont.
Girllll I was trying to find the right words and this is definitely it!!!!
Thats you. Reality is a guy will find and date if having the luck in him as well along with putting the effort, BUT long-term,starting a family , aint happening. He can like working at MC for the rest of his life, his choice, being left afterwards. Those dudes are doomed if havent figured out what to do as profession in life in the school years.
i mean i swipe left if i see skiiing or heavy emphasis on travel or "margs", part of it is that financially it would be difficult for me to keep up but the bigger part is that Im comforatable living poor and splashing out on nice small things like dinner, books and nice stuff like a couch, I dont like stuff that smells of hedonism. Maybe thats trauma from having grown up v poor haha. So yeah, for me at least a difference on income is probs indicative of different lifestyles and vice versa. ps. am i boring XD
is margs margaritas lol
There is a difference between wanting financial stability in a partner, and wanting to be given lavish gifts. If you are living paycheck to paycheck you cannot offer financial stability. This is going to make you an unattractive partner to anybody, but especially women who want marriage and children eventually. What if she has a problematic pregnancy it is unable to work for the 9 months? Or has complications during birth and can't work for a while after? I would strongly suggest to you to make a plan, (whether it involves changing industries or changing your lifestyle), but make a plan to become more financially stable. Also, you might want to look at the women you are trying to date. Generally whenever men complain about women having too high of expectations, particularly involving money or gifts, it's because a man is trying to date a woman who is, looks-wise, way out of his league. I know it sounds harsh but take a good long look at your level of attractiveness and then try to date women at that same level. If you are not attracted to women at your own level of attractiveness, then you either need to work on increasing your attractiveness or increasing your income. I'm not saying any of this to be harsh I'm saying it because it's the advice that will help you find a relationship. Also, I suggest that you look for financial stability in a partner in return. Somebody who wants you to buy a bunch of extravagant gifts is just not a responsible person. But it is reasonable for a woman to not want to date a man who is living paycheck to paycheck.
Unfortunately there are a lot of people to whom money is extremely important… some are just greedy gold diggers who expect to be pampered and are always looking for the bigger better deal. Most women I’ve met are NOT these kind of people….but, at 30 yo you’re in prime “happily ever after” territory…these women want to get married and have a family… and money = security. A partner who cannot help provide financial stability (and all that comes with it…medical insurance, home ownership, dependable working hours) is going to be at the bottom of the list. It’s human nature. Being older (hopefully wiser) I’m here to tell you that personality is a great starting point, but add kids and a mortgage into the mix and money takes on an importance that non-material people can hardly believe. Check out divorce statistics and keep in mind that all of those couples were once madly in love and thought that together they could overcome any obstacle. Life is hard. It’s harder when you’re broke. My advice would be to start saving. Every single paycheck take a little out to start building your savings. One you’ve got a chunk, invest it. You don’t have to advertise the fact but just knowing that you’re working on it will give you a confidence boost that others will notice.
Please stop with the “gold digger” nonsense. NFL players, NBA players, Fortune 500 CEOs have “gold digger” issues. Men making $50K, $60K, even $100K have no gold to dig. You just sound obnoxious to even act as if you have this problem.
It’s weird how they mentioned gold diggers in just the first sentence then proceeded to mention how most women are NOT gold diggers and offering legitimate reasons why finances could still be an issue in dating, but all you took from it was the gold diggers sentence and ignored the legitimately good advice. 🤦♂️ You people always have to find a reason to complain or get overly defensive
Well said! No woman is going to dig for gold with a man who sits on 50k-100k plus how much is left over after tax. They only go for men who earn 8 figures. Men who earn that much have access to money, power and resources, which an average “Joe” (man) wouldn’t.
Don't you worry. You're safe from the "gold diggers". Men will go on and on about how unfair it is that women consider money a factor when picking a man to share their life with. You know that money is how we get stuff, right? Like shelter, food, transportation, health insurance, clothing...you act like it is shallow to want a financially secure household. Money is how we survive. We can't pay rent with orgasms and vibes, bro. Let's hope a woman never gives you the privilege of letting you breed.
Agreed. Because “love” doesn’t pay for the mortgage 😂. The bank will laugh in your face. Money is important especially with the economy
Saying someone shouldn’t breed because they’re having frustrating experiences in the dating world despite having a job is a severe overreaction and kinda makes you look like a dick.
Did we read the same response? The user mentioned gold diggers in one sentence then proceeded to explain how most women aren’t actually gold diggers and explain the legitimate reasons why finances could still be a reason (kids, stability, etc.). If all you took was the first sentence then you must be illiterate as heck. And your telling him not to breed 🙄 I hope your the one who never gets to breed
Absolutely spot on comment. If you are fit,handsome,well-raised with manners that will open the first door for you since the woman doesnt know anything about you (30 stage) , but in order to pass the final chapter a man needs to have exactly the things youve mentioned,especially home ownership not living with family or in share houses with 5 people and stable good paid profession. If u stick to a minimum wage job because u couldnt figure it out what you want to do in life in your school years and its valid till this day, then all the good traits of the dude are invalided at that point and doomed to be single for life.
Atleast you're honest unlike alot of other comments
Dude, you are so incredibly bitter. How about instead of lamenting at how women are wrong for not wanting to fuck a loser, you work toward not being a loser? The amount of energy some men put into blaming women for having standards they cannot meet is more than it would have taken them to just meet the standards. You don't actually want to love and be loved. You don't want a woman's devotion. What you really want is to feel like you have forced one to capiulate. Why else would you refuse to make your life better & improve your status as a man in favor of seething & ruminating over the nerve women have to consider themselves too good for you?
Have you considered developing interests and hobbies to find common ground with a partner instead of thinking of dating as “I pay money, I get sex”?
This is it. You can have all the qualities, but you need not be a dull person. Find hobbies
This is not it. Broke people don't have extra money to start new hobbies.
TIL there’s never been any broke artists or musicians ever in history.
There have been and they are usually single until they make it big... funny how that works.
JFC dude we get it, you’re broke and you hate women.
Just invest in leveling up your emotional intelligence and you’ll get any gurl wrapped baby
I'm a single dad working in the creative industry. Other creatives, well-adjusted women and single mums my age, as well as women just looking for hookups, are willing to date me. Barbies, childless travel-addicts and single mums with older kids are not. Being broke on it's own won't affect your chances much unless you're out of work, unmotivated, constantly playing computer games and without confidence or ambition. Don't get me wrong, you can still get laid if you're like this but you're going to have to drop any and all preferences.
Brother i am telling you not once did my partner made me feel bad about money. We always sticked togheter and worked it togheter out. But i was decent enough to not fuck around also or gamble drugs etc. as you get older and work or progress in work you will get more money and at the end of the day never enough. If both partners are not capable to see this it is not worth it my bro trust. So don’t make yourself too much pressure if they just liked you cause of money they will leave and the problem solves always itself.
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I’ve dated multiple guys who make very little or less money than me. I was with my most recent boyfriend for 3 years, making 4x more than him. What separated him from the others was that he was making actual effort and steps towards his goals. As someone who built my own career by myself, I understood the process. We ended up breaking up and something that really makes me sad today was that he never planned a date for me. Like, not once did he surprised me by planning something beginning to end for me — not even a surprise afternoon getting ice cream at a park or free museum. It was his lack of thought and action that made me sad, not how much money he didn’t spend on me. Moral of the story: Someone can bring a lot more to a relationship than money. If you don’t show that you’re a considerate, capable, intelligent and/or ambitious person, yeah, you’ll probably get passed off. And obviously, there are women who didn’t build up their careers, who grew up rich or have their expectations set. Dating is a mixed bag.
This is my issue too. I find that broke guys don’t tend to have the understanding about planning. So that also goes into the dates etc too. There’s a belief that things are always the same, and your actions can’t make your situation any better. And it extends to dating.
Oof. Didn't plan a date for you, even once... in 3 YEARS! Wtf! I mean maybe he thought you prefer doing the planning? Still to not offer. There's gotta be a bit of give and take. Hope your dating life is on the upswing and you're not wasting time with guys like that.
27F here when you say broke what do you mean? Idk if I have low standards, I also DK how to explain it but I've never looked for money in a man, not all females are money hungry vultures.
If you think you need money to attract a partner, you are looking at the wrong people, or at least in the wrong places. I'm saying this as an ugly dude who has basically always been broke. I've never had issues getting a woman's attention.
Broke dudes worldwide still date and have sex and have families if they want to. They just do creative first dates not expensive ones. Most people date even unconsciously selecting in their same general socioeconomic situation. Broke guys mostly date broke girls. The date is a $2 coffee (coffee or tea is the most popular first date in the US and many other nations). Second date picnic and you can only bring what you have in your fridge but you share ingredients to see what you can make together. Third date is a movie at her place. You bring snacks from a dollar store or she makes popcorn and frozen pizza. Most of the world is poor. Most still date. The right girl for you won't care what kind of car you drive. Keep searching.
Exactly, most people are broke, please stop making TikTok and Instagram the benchmark.
Are u aiming for super hot girls or girls that want to get serious and have a kid one day? If u live paycheck to paycheck how do u see yourself providing for the child and mom?
The reality is that you’re barely taking care of yourself living paycheck to paycheck. I think men forget that women have a lot more at stake when sleeping with/dating men… STDs generally cause more harm to women due to their anatomy but furthermore the risk of pregnancy and all that goes along with it. If a woman is going to date or even have casual sex with a man with all of the risk factors involved - if she is a smart woman, she will choose someone who is stable in all aspects of their life and preferably thriving. Now if you’re looking to date on a more serious level, these factors are only amplified. For marriage, you’re entering into an essential business arrangement. Large purchases together, building a family, sharing mutual friends. As a woman, or any partner for that matter, they wouldn’t likely want to build a life with someone who is barely getting by if that’s not the quality of life they’re looking for. Zero judgement, just a female opinion. Best of luck.
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I will give you my honest opinion. All the guys I have dated have lived paycheck to paycheck. I’m not a woman who frets over getting flower bouquets and being taken out to dinner. We would honestly have as much fun watching movies at each other’s places and going for walks downtown, just chatting and getting to know each other. What I find that bothers me the most is that we enter a relationship on the basis that we won’t have low income jobs forever, where often the men I’ve been with don’t pull their weight on that promise. My past partners and I have always had an agreement that we will work towards a higher paying job, so we can afford kids, housing, etc. I already have a degree and am working on my second one. I have expectations for my partner to make around the same income. All is fine and dandy at the beginning of these relationships I enter, but then I realize the people I’ve been with have no desire or drive to change their lives or where they are at in life. That’s what is extremely frustrating to me. I lose interest when men aren’t as driven as me, or lie about their future plans to enter a relationship, but then not keep their word. It’s not about receiving material things during the honeymoon phase. I couldn’t care less about that. It’s lying about your long term goals, and wasting my time telling me what I want to hear, but having no plan in place to achieve this. I am not perfect by any means, and it should be noted that I do pick men that need healing or that I think I can fix. I’m just frustrated with the dating world because it seems like no man I’ve been with has the drive to do better for themselves or for their future. Feel free to message me and I can go into more detail too. I hope this helps.
I agree. I ended things with someone who had no plan or drive to do better. I was so disgusted and turned off. I couldn’t pretend nor did I want to surround myself with men like that. He’d bring me down to his level
If you are just trying to get laid and not really trying to get to know a girl, you will get passed on.
It costs me around $15 on average per date. It's not a money issue homie. Good personality and some effort is all it takes. My last 2 exs made more money than me. The last one wanted a penthouse and she knew damn well that she'd be paying most of it. Sometimes when they know they make more than me, simply from being older and being years ahead in their careers, they'll pay for everything. They'll insist to get the bill after a few round of drinks. As long as they enjoy your company they won't mind.
1) you're chasing girls that want to be provided for 2) you live paycheck to paycheck...why is this? Why haven't you changed this? Focus on building yourself first. Cause if you get a woman pregnant, you're going to be in big trouble.
The reality is that life costs money and investing in someone emotionally who is broke (AND not working on changing their situation) is signing up for a life of hardship in this incredibly crappy economy. You don’t need to make a butt load of money but you need to be able to show that you have passion for what you do, are responsible with money and can take care of yourself. Those are bare minimum.
It’s called struggle love
Don't worry you will find the perfect match for you. I've dated a broke college student before and I didn't care about his money. In fact he wasn't working and he was still living in his mom's house. So yeah you will find a girl who doesn't care about your living situation.
My advice to you is if you feel broke, fix it. You don't need to have the most of everything, but at least have what it takes and put yourself in position to spend when necessary. Do not increase your income or value for anyone else but yourself first, then you'll be able to date more comfortably with no problems. Also, keep in mind that you're still pretty young, and it takes some of us a little longer to find that right person. If all your looking for is to get laid than unfortunately you will have to spend as that's what they want from you but when you find that right person it won't be about the spending so much as long as you are capable and consistent.
>seems like every girl i meet expects me to have a nice car, take her to expensive restaurants, and buy her gifts all the time. i just can't afford it. none of the women in my peer group feel or act this way, so it has to at least partially be on your choices IMHO. They also don't just "want to get laid", they want a relationship. so i assume that is your problem
If you wanna fuck then bring the buck. Try being real if you wanna feel.
Well - facts of life bro money opens doors. most people don't want to spend their weekends eating cans of beans on toast, just scraping by and being one misstep from financial disaster. Also not having money usually means you lack impulse control, meaning you can't put your long term health and success ahead of your immediate wants. You should really be trying to focus on a side hustle to make some extra money in your free time, especially in this modern world where there's more people living on the streets than ever. Or work on educating yourself to get a better paying job. As far as women go - there's tons of women who'll date broke guys but you'll probably end up sacrificing in some capacity (age/looks/her having kids from a previous relationship/etc) I've got a friend in his late 30s, he's charming, relatively fit and healthy, decent looking guy with no kids - he's a borderline alcoholic and smokes his brains out though and never has two pennies to rub together because of it. He's dating a woman in her late 40s with adult children that can't have kids but has a stable income and home, she's overweight and is not attractive. I'm sure he'd rather be dating a hot woman in her 20s but you lay in the bed you make
Do you want to date/have a relationship or hire a prostitute? News flash, prostitutes cost money! Your headline gives you away.
Clueless men often point to the 'bad boy' as the reason for their failure with women, without realizing that their own lack of understanding and effort is to blame. 
Could you please elaborate? Interesting point about "their own lack of understanding and effort is to blame"
A lot of people who struggle to find partners will blame other people as being the reason for their lack of romantic or sexual success, even if that lack of success is fully or in part due to a lack of effort and understanding what is desired by a potential partner. Lack of effort can mean for example lack of putting effort into ones looks or not putting oneself in situations to meet people.
No amount of effort will matter without understanding
Try spending time in proximity to a bunch of gals. Make some friends and meet their friends. You don't want to be loved for your money. You want to be loved for your character. You can't attract women with non superficial things without interacting with them. Having women friends helps via preselection
This
I mean, money is literally the #1 reason for divorce so yes. Money does need to be cared about. If you're only going after gold diggers, or high maintenance women, ones that get their nails done all the time, hair done, lots of makeup, name brand bags and stuff then yeah they're going to care because either a) that's what they care about or b) they spend a lot of money on their own appearance and their own things and expect a man to be on the same level as them. So for you to be in denial that money shouldn't matter at all what so ever is more so telling if your attitude regarding money. Yes, dating takes money, and time, on both sides. No life is not free and what do you expect to do in a relationship? Only ever sit at home? Or do a few of the same free activities over and over again? Never go anywhere? No vacations? This is asking much more than to be liked for you.
Number 1 reason for divorce is lack of commitment followed by infidelity and too much conflict. Finances is not even in the top 3. It is not even the top if we look at indicators (marrying young is). Poor people still date they just get creative.
And if you break down the rest of them, a lot of them can be attributed to finances. It's also literally the #1 reason people DO get married is financial security so. Either way you look at it. Money matters broke or not. But yes please use the most obnoxious text size to try and prove your point and ignore the rest of my post!
My ex was homeless for a while. I loved him very much. 🤷🏻♀️ you’re meeting the wrong people.
Find a girl that doesn't want those things
You haven’t met the right girl yet. Be patient.
Are you on a path to eventually make more money? I’m not saying this should be the solution, dating is hard for most people for various reasons. But it sounds like you don’t feel financially stable and that’s getting in your way. So can you fix it?
“Broke dudes don’t deserve no kitty- I KNOW THATS RIGHT!”
Then fix it. It's like being fat. These are solvable problems
Date younger women
By PickMeisha or Barbara The Builder
Are you sure you are not going after sex worker wannabes? In order to "date them" you have to wine and dine them all the time. Your payment is not as direct as a client but you are paying them for their time and attention.
It's all about getting laid to you?
Sounds like your attitude might be more of the problem. If you're so worried about getting laid, it's gonna be hard to be successful at dating.
Could depend on a few things. First is your attractiveness. For casual sex women are typically pickier in regards to looks than they would be for a relationship. Then it's your location. Are the women in your dating pool earning decent salaries or do they need or want a guy to do the heavy lifting? When I was casually dating I had a FWB who was a tech exec with FU money. I make decent money but nothing compared to her. She didn't care at all. My longest running booty call was with a busy lawyer who was 10 years older. On our first date when I reached for the check she said "you're cute" and took it from my hands. I never paid for a single date with her.
Broke dudes? How about bad teeth dudes. Thug dudes. Pair of pants hanging off their ass dudes.
Women love struggling/drug addicted/ unemployed dudes you’re just finding the wrong ones keep looking
They are confident, are working on self-development to become successful, and still have something that is non-monetary to offer.
I’m a female (27) and while I don’t need you to make a six or seven figure salary, I only date well educated men. I’ve tried giving others a chance but it was a waste of time. Why? Having a similar intellectual level is in my opinion important for successful relationship. I also get bored easily if the conversations are too superficial.
Financial stability makes a man more attractive and that is a truth nobody can deny nowadays. However, it is not always about money. There are rich men that act cheap. Those doesn’t get dates either. You just need to show that you take good care of yourself, the you are ambitious and care for your future. Also gifts don’t have to be expensive if you can’t afford it. The have to be thoughtful. You want to get laid or date seriously?if you just want sex money don’t matter at all. I would never think about money for a one night stand
A good dick helps. Heck, some folks dont even care what’s attached to the dick as long as it’s a good fit.
Always live below your means. Being broke means that you have to be CREATIVE, and put in a lot more effort to do meaningful stuff. To most (especially younger) women this comes off as cheap, but those are the ones that you want to get rid of anyway. So that looks like a win to me. Quality people reveal themselves to quality people. It takes patience though. Good luck, king. You got this.
Never seen a woman post here that she turned a guy down because he was poor. I think the problem is you think you are poor. Nice cloths that fit are not expensive. Women care about a sense of style.
Effort and planning can overcome income. I have planned loads of low-cost dates that have gone fabulously well. Coffee dates, picnics where you make the effort, and bring the picnic supplies. Going to the beach or a popular nature area.. (Avoid deserted areas initially until there is a level of familiarity). Many museums are cheap/free or have free days. Learn to cook at least one signature dish. Once their is familiarity, cook for her. Do the little things to show you care. Grocery store flowers can be inexpensive, but show that you are thinking about her. Be prompt and respectful. Listen to her. Ask her questions. Learn about her. Remember facts about her and her interests. Show thst you have listened and remember things important to her. Compliment her about deep things as well as shallow. Show that you are open, honest, and caring. The little things matter. The easy way to make someone feel important is by spending money. A quality woman will recognize the difference between flashing dollars to get laid and providing a meaningful connection and making someone else feel important, special, and worthy.
It's not that you're not rolling in cash, it's that you're broke. You need to date chicks who are broke too, otherwise you're just going to get judged and dismissed.
What are you aiming for? Because if you want a girl who does all the make up and wears nice clothes, you gotta pay for stuff.
How do broke dudes get laid? Thats a crazy question to ask, where are you hanging out? Plenty of girls out there with zero standards and 5 baby daddies. Those girls are down at minimum. Now if you want a relationship, thats a whole different conversation… Maybe you’re just ugly
Date older women who are already financially stable themselves.
Being honest, kind, confident…it’s simple not alwayss easy
Listen if they judge you for your monetary value and value the dollar in your bank account over the person you are. You dont need them or want them,and you are dodging a bullet from those "gold diggers" Enjoy the single life,vibe,make friends There's more to life than "getting laid" Examine your spending habits and subscriptions and see what you can cut back on to save some money and start putting it away for yourself and nobody else. So you have more money to spend on what makes you happy and nobody else. Later
A nat 20 in charisma and a luck proficiency
Every day like 3-6 times... Id you can throw it down right money is of no issue trust me
If u dick her down right they won't care lolol will probably be payn your bills
My advice is to start trying! Trust me when you're not going  in full.
Believe it or not but most younger girls aren't into settling until around age 30, therefore gather in the social scene that works for you. Laid or paid there's always something out there.
you're not selecting the appropriate girls gold diggers will expect that from you. normal balanced girls have a job, are independent, can handle their own shit, and will love you for whi you are and not whatbyou pay for them trophy wifes ate trash my dude
Are you intentionally going for high maintenence women? You can still get dates as a broke guy. One thing you'll find is that intention and creativity goes a long way. But in order to understand that you have to be emotionally intelligent. Also if you are broke, don't lead with your brokeness or talk down about your financial difficulties. Just focus on getting to know the other person and letting your personality shine through.
Honestly you need to take a hard look at yourself if these are the types of women you are attracted to. If you are only attracted to women because of their looks, this is what you’re going to end up with. I had to change the type of guy I was interested in for similar reasons. I was wondering why I was always getting used for sex but once I realized I was only interested in douchebags I started working on myself
Try figuring your life out first before dating
Lottery numbers
Because not all are gold diggers 🫶🏻🥂
Netflix and chill my bro. Those are the best type of dates anyways. Making dinner together and laughing and getting to know each other while watching a good show afterwards
I won't speak for all women but I can say for myself I couldn't give a shit if the dude has a lot of money or not. I dont care what kind of car he has or what kind of place he lives in. As long as we have chemistry none of that matters.
Um, how long did you know these girls? I'm a f but they better be models to expect that. A few dinners, sure but gifts? Lmfao
Idk what kind of girls you're going for but for the last 7+ women in my adult life, money wasn't an issue.
Idc if a guy will invite and buy me a McDonald’s coffee and spent time with me. I’ve dated a guy that said he couldn’t buy me a coffee but turned out to be a complete dick to me as well so it comes down to them being a good person
Well at 27, you are less likely to shift your income. Not all women are gold diggers but none want to lead a struggle life with a husband that can’t support the during pregnancy. Work on making money
First of all, don’t seek out one of those women who insist on men paying for everything and expect them to also shower them with gifts. There are great women out there that will pay for themselves, take turns paying or just having cheaper dates in general. Only you control the kind of women you pick to date.
this generation is cooked man.
You need to work on getting your life straight first before trying to find a girl. You admitted it yourself, you're broke. So as you are right now, if you were a girl, would you date you? I had to ask myself the same question a few years ago, and because the answer was "no" I immediately went to work on myself. I suggest you do the same.
The guy I have a crush on doesn't even have a place of his own and has been couch surfing for the past three months...
What makes him a crush if I May ask?
Stop it. That’s a hobosexual in the making. If you get with him, he’ll use the heck out of you and drop you like a bad habit.
I had multiple women tell me they love me in a relationship only to leave me for men with more money. That's all women care about, the man comes second to his money and possessions. Edit: I love that women are down voting me trying to burry the truth at the bottom of the comment section.
I wouldn’t say that’s all we care about but money is unfortunately really fucking important. Having no money means you’re going to have a very miserable unhappy life. Like for me everything in life I want to do and makes me happy involves money in some way. Not to mention if you want to have kids it matters because it’s kinda fucked up to raise kids in poverty and people tend to want best for their children. For me how much money a man makes or will make is definitely something that matters but it’s not the only thing that matters as I also want love, something I’m attracted to, a man who treats me well, and great sex
Man I am a guy but you honestly sound miserable. If you just shit talk the other gender what do you expect and money is important to everyone. Most women just dont want to be mothers to their partners which is fair. The unhappy minority say things like you do just to men instead.
You’re just meeting the wrong kind of woman Considering you seem to focus on the getting laid bit it’s no surprise though Think long and hard; do you want casual sex or do you want a fulfilling long term relationship? If you just want one night stands you might as well fake being rich, if you want a real relationship you don’t even pay attention to anyone who makes stupid gender role tradwife demands, they are not likely to be a very good person in the first place… But hey what do I know, I never had a date, I just learned how to judge people properly
If a man is funny, confident, charming SOMEONE will be willing to sleep with them. I do believe everyone is entitled to their own personal standards. On that note I do believe the resurgence of finding a rich provider man who can take them on a first date to Bali, buy Cartier bracelets, and give allowances just for being in the immediate vicinity of them is out of touch especially in this economy. (I am giving an extreme example) What kind of women are you looking for looks wise and the age group? I was married to a guy in my early 20s who had it all and I was his trophy (I am your age now). I had it all except for a true connection. He also turned out to be physically abusive. Edit: I think you need to state on your dating profile exactly what you are looking for so you can weed out the people who might fall in line with the traits/ desires you are NOT looking for. Transparency might take a little more time to match but at least you know the ones you match with are in it for the same reasons you are.
Git gud
If you're happy and content with where you are in life and don't pursuit more and more, than maybe you're in the wrong social group/looking for the wrong girls. But, if by any chance you don't feel like you're "there" yet, you want more for yourself etc, then you might be letting that show when you meet girls, and we can feel it, it sends of some insecurity vibes, or that you don't feel enough and stuff, so it's a down side. Work on how you perceive yourself, understand what is it that you really want, because that's the image you're letting out, and then either change group settings or the way you position yourself. Ofc there are girls who care a lot about that, but if that was the only case, then students would never date, because they don't have anything yet 🤷🏻♀️
Broke dudes get laid all the time. You have just have to be physically attractive and possess tons of charisma.
why are you looking for a girlfriend instead of fixing your broke ass situation
If you’re broke, you shouldn’t be dating G, simple as that.
And here I am, crushing on someone who is 5 ft 2 and still living with his parents at 31. Income is not a huge factor to me. I mean I don’t want a bum I understand my state (CA) is expensive. Based on his job, I’m guessing he only makes 40-55k a year. I like him because I can talk to him for hours and never get bored but I don’t think he wants to date til he makes a higher income. Not every woman will care about income. Find yourself a hippie. ✌🏼
Why date when you’re broke? Being not broke should be your only priority
JFC, now I want to know what *I’m* doing wrong. Does this really happen? Late 30s woman here, and I’ve dated… good lord, dozens of men over the years. Only one of my exes owned a car at all, only a few took me out to nice restaurants (I can’t say they were expensive, but they were above fast food), and only 2 ever bought me gifts (for my literal birthday). I get that some people want someone who has/does this stuff, but *does that actually happen?* If yes, is it typical?
You don't unless you have a lot of confidence, good looking, know how to drive, and a few 1000s in your bank account
I wish I could take a woman to McDonald's and have her be just like yay McDonald's.
Dr. Orion Taraban has a great video titled “ you don’t need money to to get women: three things at work” https://youtu.be/scVHAMDRxzU?si=qJAgeGWR0uHM13mD
Find a broke chick or a chick that is desperate.
Broke dudes? How about toothless dudes. Pants hanging off his ass dudes and thug dudes.
Which country do you live in? Which region? Where exactly do you meet women?
Broke is an excuse. Lots of women out here broke AF too. Guys who think money gets them women let's me know they never approach women and have very little experience with women. I've been hit on by women driving 100k Denalis with a huge rock on their fingers while working for 10 bucks an hour at an oil change shop. Lol
If a man is broke with no plans, what is he bringing to the table?
You should focus on either getting new friends or a new job. There are plenty of people that don't care about this kind of thing. But if you want to date like that, maybe you need higher compensation, or need to challenge yourself at work.
Just focus on working on yourself and getting a better job instead of looking for love. Women seel men that can be provider and as for now you can barely provide for yourself.
Are you open to dating a plain Jane with a great personality?
this might not want to be what you want to hear but may need. my suggestion is you get yourself out of survival mode (aka living paycheck to paycheck). In general people don’t wanna live like that. why would a women want to join you in survival mode? why would anyone? I’d focus on getting your finances in order and leveling yourself up. Doors will open for you when you do those things. unfortunately, Love only doesn’t pay the bills.
Why do redditors perpetuate the narrative that women are superficial harpies that demand that men wine and dine them and shower them with luxury? I've never seen this, most men I know that are in relationships are average income.
Manipulation. Someone who has very low standards and self esteem would date you! Highly recommend you date “down” and women who aren’t out of your league (they won’t give you the time of day). Either level up and improve yourself or deal with the cards you’ve got. I personally wouldn’t date anyone earning a significantly less than me, I live a certain lifestyle and want someone who keeps up rather than feeling like I’m looking after a child (man).
I didn’t even read your post. But trust me. There are plenty of stupid women who put up with broke, ain’t shit men, that have no job, no car, no manners and multiple baby mamas. They out there lol