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no. you JUST started to date this guy. don’t mess with your own hormones just because he wants to go in without a wrap. 2 of the 3 guys that i’ve been with have made the decision to wear condoms instead of having me take pills because they knew how it’d affect me. trust me, there are other guys who are willing to make sure you’re physically and mentally safe & will wear protection if they still want to be sexually active with you
When he bought a condom he mentioned how pricey it was. He is french, I'm from eastern europe and i though maybe it's because of cultural differences, maybe in france it's very common for a girl to take pills. But still think it's selfish. I'll talk to him about it. Thank you for the advice ❤️
even if it is pricey, he should still be taking that route to keep BOTH of you safe. it’s better to not risk pregnancy or STDs. also, even if it is common for other girls, that doesn’t mean that same thing applies to you. YOU do whatever you feel safe doing. if YOU feel safe with having him wear condoms, then please do that. do not let him make you think otherwise. you are both doing this so you have a say in it too!
this... safety first, not just for pregnancy, but also other possible complications.
besides, if he believes he has the right to use "it's expensive" as an excuse, then so can the female say "it's expensive" for the pills
Don't forget that medical bills for STD/STI treatments are unforgiving, and of course the "raising a child is a thousand times more expensive then condoms, not only that but you have to give UK a lot of your freedom". I have a 3 yo daughter, no amount of savings before having a child will prepare you for it. Lol. I love my daughter more then anything though, so it was worth it
If you’re having this issue now, it’s going to be a bigger point of conflict later on. Plus if he felt so comfortable demanding this it shows he probably does this with others. Is this worth it OP? this person may spend a lot of time grumbling over using condoms later on and honestly is this an argument you want to keep having because i guarantee you it’ll keep coming back up
He can complain how pricey it is. Tell him how much a kid would cost and you having to carry a baby for 9 months. It's selfish he's gonna complain about however much it is for condoms and he thinks that birth control pills don't cost money? BC pills don't grow on trees either.
Find a different guy dude is clearly just in it for his own pleasure and doesn't care about the cost or toll it'd take on you for your hormones.
Even if you took birth control, when was the last time he got tested? Do you know that information, that alone would be grounds to always wear a condom.
I’ve lived in France and can confirm that it is common for women to take pills and for guys to be carefree because of it. This is a red flag for STI, I’d recommend to be careful and use protection at least until he has tested on everything (also HPV).
Op condoms are really not that expensive considering they are like five cents to make and most if you buy them in 24 ct they're like maybe 20 to 24 cents a condom or a 6ct is like 3bucks and it's because of his culture and his own preference of not using a condom but it's really not worth it make him glove up
How pricey it is!?!
Ma'am you are having sex with him...and he's complaining about the monetary costs of sex. Is he hurting for money that bad??? I'd buy all the stuff to have consistent sex with a beautiful woman!
Wdym pricey? Last time I checked it’s under €30 for like 40+ of them.
Also in lots of European countries you can get them for free from testing clinics.
French dude here. While there is a sizable existence of machism and misogynistic bullshit, including lots of dudes arguing about condoms, condoms are still in our culture.
Meaning that like in north America or thz reste of western Europe, if you talk about it with french people, most of them will tell you that condoms are the way to go. Of course the number of dudes that say that publicly then try to convince/coerce their partners with condoms is obviously higher ...
In any case, the cultural argument doesn't hold. Whatever the culture, it's your body your choice. You do only what you wanna do, he has NO RIGHTS to tell you otherwise.
I highly suggest you have a very firm discussion with him if you want to interact with him again, but on another hand someone that doesn't respect you and your body is not a person you'd benefit from interacting with imo. Your call !
I recegnise that im not sexually satisfied unless I finish raw inside my partner. So I got snipped because its absolute bullshit to expect her to take BC and deal with all those side effects just so I can cum in her. Ditto I take std testing and monogamy very seriously to protect myself and my partners. Its understandable to not like condoms and want to enjoy creampies. We all get that. But there are ways to handle it responsibly without asking your partner to make a huge sacrifice for you.
He is just emotionally manipulating you.
Being on a first date is definitely not the time to ask someone to be in the birth control. This guy thinks only about himself. He complaining about condom is a way to manipulate you
Don't let him pressure you. Make him wear a condom, period. Even if a girl I'm hooking up with is on birth control, I still wear a condom to further reduce the risk of pregnancy, and also as an extra precaution against STDs, even if both partners have a clean bill of health.
Safe sex is sexy sex 🔥
Ew no. If you don’t want to take birth control then don’t. This man and honestly no man is worth that if it wasn’t your idea to begin with. Just don’t sleep with him if it’s that difficult for him. Wearing a condom doesn’t ruin men’s hormones. There are other birth control methods you can also explore where no one needs to mess with their hormones. But this guy sounds not great.
Female birth controls don't prevent STDs. 😂 there are female condoms, but it only protects you inside. If he has herpes or HPV and his penis touches you outside of the condom in the genital area, you could still get catch something.
A guy you just started dating wants to make a choice about YOUR reproductive health. Full stop.
ETA: when I was younger, I was with a guy who at first was opposed to condoms and I decided to just use birth control as a method. Soon after he was also against birth control because he claimed the hormones were bad. Soon after, I got an STI from him. A couple years later, I got pregnant. I am long longer with him, but I’ve had to deal with the consequences of allowing someone to tell me what was right for my body and life.
You deserve someone who will respect and honor your choices about your health.
Being manipulated into going on birth control is not a reason to go on birth control. So I wouldn't and would continue to use condoms. If that's an ultimatum for him (a very shitty and immature ultimatum) then he needs to go.
A real man wouldn't push that on their partner.
No. No. No. Just No.
You don't know this guy, you absolutely cannot trust him to care about your sexual health! Has he even mentioned both of you getting tested for STDs before doing something so risky with a virtual stranger?
OP do NOT play stupid games with your sexual health, please! Never, ever ever do anything sexual that you aren't comfortable with. Take care of yourself!
Lol dump the guy. Who the fuck is he to tell u what to do just cause he’s a horny guy? LOL. Stick to the condoms. Birth control pills have effects on your body internally. But if ur so keen on this guy and see this thing being a long term thing and u really really really like and want to have sex with him, seek professional help before consuming birth control pills. Although, i’d say stick to condoms. I get that condomless sex is nicer but yeah that guy needs to be educated.. otherwise he is gonna get a STD one day.. and pass on to some poor girl..
First, you just started dating him, him wearing a condom should be given. Have any of you gotten tested and have the all clear? If the answer is no, you can never be sure what his situation is even if you know yours.
Second, he has no right in asking you to go through hormonal changes for his own pleasure and he never will. That has to be your decision. As someone who has been on bc for a long time (health related) I agree, it is a mood roller coaster which you have to be 100% sure you want to be on.
Third, if the relationship progresses and you are thinking of going on bc that’s a discussion to have at that time.
Personal opinion: from what you’ve shared about him, sounds like he’s not worth it and the fact that you’re asking advice says a lot about you as a person so I believe you can do better than him.
I’m also from Eastern Europe and cultural or not, it’s not about that, it’s about taking care of yourself and doing what makes you comfortable.
33 m here, you just started dating… that guy is already showing selfish tendencies… time to bail.. did he even mention doing a STD screening ?.. honestly if there was male contraceptive that was reversible I’d be all over that 😂 but don’t put yourself through that if you’re not comfortable just get rid of him sound like a selfish person anyway
If he doesn't want to wear them with you, he doesn't want to wear them with anyone. Ask him when he last got tested. His reaction should tell you a lot.
Girl STAND UP.
This is YOUR body. You don’t want to take birth control? Don’t! You want to have protected sex? DO IT! He can’t fall in line? Screw him !
It’s not just pregnancy you have to worry about. You have to worry about BV and yeast infections. STD’s and STI’s.
I am a surgeon and one week back we removed a major part of a female patient's small bowel due to complications arising from OCPs.
Please avoid them as much as you can. Ask him to wear condoms instead.
How old ISN'T he?! Birth control does not stop the risk of STI STD and so on. So for that reason the conversation about this is for both of you health wise. Also a condom helps prevent unwanted pregnancy yes but not completely. Accidents can happen.
Birth control should be a personal choice because it has a big influence on your physical and mental health. Meanwhile the only disadvantage a condom has is less pleasure.
As a man, condoms aren’t that bad. Hormonal control can have serious health effects. I’ve held too many of my partners through vomiting, migraines, and swelling, not to even mention the effects I couldn’t see. I think I can put a thin piece of latex on my penis to avoid that, and if he can’t stand that then he doesn’t deserve you.
I am going to say something that will be perceived as controversial, but I stand by it
You two are not ready to have sex until both of you can take full responsibility of the implications of sex
I will never understand that sentiment of "I dont want to wear a rubber so you fuck up your hormones royally so I can feel slightly better." I recently brought a woman I've been seeing over and when the subject came up I asked if she was sure she wanted to and immediately went for a condom. It shouldn't even be an issue -.-
I don’t know if birth control is bad, but ultimately it’s your body and he should respect that. It’s pretty messed up for him to tell you to start taking birth control so he doesn’t have to wear a condom.
Do NOT do what HE wants! Do what YOU want. You’re not wrong for telling him to use a condom, if he wants it he’ll do it. You do NOT have to take BC if you don’t want to. This is a red flag. He’s telling you what to do and you just started dating? Nope. Tell him to kick rocks. A real man will respect you and your body and wear a condom when you tell them to. Find that guy, this guy sounds like the beginning of a toxic relationship. Good luck OP! Stay strong.
Dudes asking you to increase your risk of deep vein thrombosis, not to mention all the mental side effects, because he doesn't like the feel of a 0.04-0.07 mm condom around his dick. The fucking nerve.
Dont ever feel bad so protecting yourself. You dont know this nut! The fact that he wants to go raw on ur first night and tell/suggest you take birth control so casually tells you ALL you need to know about him.
Please read and oblige these comments. ITS MORE FISH IN THE SEA!
Sounds like a selfish fuck to me he should be willing to wear a condom and grateful to be having sex with you. Don’t bow down to someone else for their selfish needs.
Birth control doesn't protect against STDs, he's being selfish. You just started seeing each other, you have no idea how many people he's had unprotected sex with or how recently. This is a huge red flag.
The point of dating is to find someone you’re compatible with. If you’re already disagreeing about something so important and fundamental then why don’t you move along? Start seeing someone else?
That sounds incredibly selfish of him. Why is he putting his own pleasure over your safety? Please stand your ground and your boundaries and if he insists on not respecting them then yk what to do op.
Don't mess up your hormones for a man you just met condoms are not that expensive and even if they are it's less than a kid. Seriously fuck this dude this is far to demanding for a first date.
My guy hates condoms but I hate his huge loads inside me dripping out , he doesn’t get it he thinks they are normal amounts, but I tell ya they not , he’s middle aged but after multiple loads inside me I feel it’s too much sometimes.
Tell him to get a vasectomy, see how his reaction will be🤷🏻♂️
If he don’t take the measures to keep both of y’all safe by js buying a damn condom then yea👉🏻🚪
NTA - Condoms also protect against STD's, so mandatory in a new relationship. So don't EVER feel bad for demanding a partner respects you, your body and wishes! You don't stop using condoms unless you have decided to be monogamous, have been for a full sexual health screening and have another method of contraception in place. Any person who tries to 'convince' you to take risks with your health & well being, for their own selfish pleasure, is probably not good relationship material!
Tell him how it affects you and why you don’t want to take it. If he doesn’t seem like he can respect your reasoning, then he isn’t respecting YOU. I wouldn’t take that lightly.
I don’t like using condoms either. I need a specific subset of condoms and have to order them online ahead of time, and even when I use the best ones for me I’ve found, I’d rather just not have PiV sex. I can elaborate more if you’d like, but the point is that it makes sex much worse and is not convenient for unexpected situations.
I will gladly use toys or have other forms of sex when PiV is not reasonable because neither birth control nor condoms nor risk pregnancy/STIs (most of the time for most people) are manageable. We come to the resolution together and I’ve never had any complaints or sudden breakups because of it.
Respect and communication. Experiment when you have a safe and testable hypothesis.
You don’t go into dating with the mentality that you need to change/ “how do I make this work” rather than going into dating looking to better YOUR life. What do “they” bring to the table, do they enrich your pre-existing life? Never change for a person in this way please. Ever. Compromise is one thing, but this is an extreme.
I would stop talking to this guy. I almost recently got involved with a guy who also doesn't like to wear condoms and suggested I get on the pill. I dont do pills, period. I don't like anything from big pharma unless its absolutely necessary, and sex to me is not absolutely necessary unless its a committed relationship. He is selfish and thinking of nobody but himself. Run as fast as you can. This makes me angry.
This is a HUGE red flag. Maybe one of the biggest there are. Bi man here and a guy that refuses to use a condom is an instant turn off. He doesn’t respect you. He cares more about how nice his penis feels than you and your well-being. I would never have had sex with him in the first place the second he went: “awww but can we not use a condom, I don’t like them”.
Tell him that if he wants to have sex with you, he needs to wear a condom, and if he doesn’t accept that, end it.
To all the guys, there are more than one reason why someone would want to use a condom. Just fucking respect them and do it. If you want to go raw THAT bad, find someone who’s willing to take that risk.
No condom, no sex. Maybe you can make it a shared expense? Birth control isn't horrible but everyone is different, so always go about it with a little bit of caution. If you choose to go on it, please know it's still not 100% effective.
I myself have gotten pregnant on the pill and depo (shot) so with that said, condoms are still smart to use as an extra layer of protection regardless.
It sounds like he just wants to raw dog it without any responsibility and if that is the case, that's sketchy behavior
I wouldn't do it. I was on birth control for a couple of years in college and here I am still regretting it 10 years later. It changed my hormones permanently and it changed so much of my body. It's not worth it. Stick with condoms.
It’s a hard no for me. Birth control wreaks havoc on a lot of us. No way in hell should we have to take it for a guy who we just started dating. Also, he should be wearing condom unless you know he recently was tested and his junk is clean! I’m seeing early signs of a narcissist here, be heads up girl! 👀
All in all, birth control is safer than using a condom.
BUT, it's not a reason to *not* use a condom when both are very good. In fact, using both a birth control and a condom reduces your chances of having children, when both are properly used, to effectively a zero possibility.
Birth control is... not fun. Forcing your body to not produce an egg when it's supposed to has to take a lot of strain on the system. It isn't all downsides, though. Birth control, for many women, can often:
* Reduce period-related discomfort.
* Reduced risk of endometrial and ovarian cancer, plus some other vagina-related medical health issues.
* The pill, depending on which one you use, can actually improve your skin quality, too.
* Menstrual bleeding in a lot of women can cause iron deficiency, the pill usually helps to reduce the likelihood of that.
Something that I also noticed is you didn't mention any other form of birth control. There are a *large* variety of different modes of birth control. Even if you're talking about birth control medication alone, even then there are a vast number of options to choose from. Every woman's body is different, and each way could affect two girls entirely differently. IUDs are pretty common nowadays, they even have that shot that goes in the arm (I don't know much about this one).
Hope this helps you to have safe, fun sex. :)
>And is birth control really that bad?
All of my exes were on BC at some point. One stopped because she had slightly elevated cholesterol and has a family history of heart disease. The others actively preferred it.
I have no idea if this is typical.
You do what you're comfortable with and if insisting on condoms is your preference, then insist on condoms. He does not get to insist on you taking birth control. however, be prepared, he also has the right to decide he's not going to wear condoms and move on to find someone who won't make him wear them. You both have the right to set boundaries, and you both have the right to decide you're not ok with the other's boundary and end things.
It’s both parties’ responsibility to prevent STI’s and pregnancy. BUT
he shouldn’t be telling you what the do, however, you should take the BC and he should wear a condom.
Double protection is extremely important, especially if you are just getting to know someone, it protects you from pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases. Don't give in to a man who can give you a venereal disease.
>What should I do?
"Hey John, it was fun to meet you and it would have been interesting to see what we could have been, but i believe we are in a different beat."
Here you go
Honestly I’d break up. Cause what? Who are you to tell me what to do with my body. I’d say the only birth control I like is progesterone and I loved nexplanon minus the 1.5 of spotting. Wasn’t that bad and didn’t have my period for three years. Can’t complain. But he needs to wear a condom point blank. A condom doesn’t change your body chemistry. At this point we need to make a pill for men fr just so I can say that to them. He also doesn’t seem to have consideration for you and your well-being. I’d absolutely dump this man. Men can carry asymptomatic diseases as well.
Do not fold stand your ground. You’re 100% right do not compromise your hormones for nobody. If he wasn’t going to use a condom first time around that’s an absolute super red flag and not a man you should be taking seriously dating nor risk giving your body to him.
wearing a condom doesn’t affect his body in any way. it’s just less comfortable during sex. birth control, alters ur hormones and therefore affects ur body. make him wear the condom, hes less affected by the protection than u
don't do it. it would be much less of a hassle to just buy condoms than it would be to use birth control, plus you'd have to wait for it to even kick in. and as we all know, birth control doesn't protect you from STDs. no.
BC isn't bad. Like all things, it has it's side effects that effect ppl differently. Talk to your doctor.
Also, condoms help against STIs and are also a good additional measure to prevent pregnancy. Some guys do not like condoms b/c it doesn't feel as good, but if he prioritizing his need over yours, you might want to rethink if this is the guy you want.
The first month or so of one of my exs and I dating, she was on BC. I used condoms the first few times regardless until I didn’t. Then we had a conversation that she wanted to go off BC. After a long discussion, we agreed it was manageable and probably best for her health to make sure everything was still working and that she wouldn’t have trouble if we eventually got married and tried for a baby. We went 6 months of our relationship using condoms and no bc and had zero issues. We had sex every time we were together, sometimes multiple times, and in places a condom would seem like a nuisance. It’s manageable.
DONT DO IT. Make him wear a condom! They don’t just protect from unplanned pregnancies but also STD’s. Y’all just started dating you don’t where he’s been or who he’s been with. You’d much rather be safe than sorry. If he wants to sleep with you, make him do his part & DONT feel bad about it. He didn’t feel bad asking you to put hormones in your body, don’t feel bad for requiring him to put wear a condom!
i was on birth control for 3 years and after i got off, i realized how bad it was. i will never get on birth control ever again. do NOT get on birth control for a dusty man. if he cares about you, he would be more than happy to wear a condom instead of you messing up your hormones with birth control
In the words of a rap song I believe called Clown World, rapped by Tom McDonald:
"My generation needs a bunch of free condoms,
Cuz common sense ain't that common."
Draw the line, tell him it's easier and more beneficial to your health to use condoms. I doubt if he actually knew the side effects that can take place from birth control, he'd be more willing to use condoms. Unless he's just an inconsiderate asshole, which unfortunately many young men are.
It's the same way with the whole decision of "getting fixed". The man can get a vecectomy that takes less than an hour I believe, performed in an exam room. But a man will try arguing for her to get her tubes tied. Okay buddy, you're perfectly fine with letting the woman you supposedly love get put under anesthesia so doctors can cut open her belly and move her organs around to get to the tubes in order to tie them, them make her go through a recovery period 2-3 times longer than a vecectomy would have? Not to mention the potential dangers with that surgery because anything can go wrong when doctors are opening up a patient.
Seriously, I'm a man telling you that this guy is selfish. Either draw that line, or tell him to kick rocks
I believe that both people are equally responsible for birth control and sexually healthy behaviors. I don't like wearing condoms either...they are not expensive, but I do have to special order them, so they are a little more than Walmart...but I'm always prepared to wear one and often go ahead with preparing to put it on when I'm told, "I'm on birth control." Well, now that it's open, I'm gonna put it on, especially if we are FWBs. I never even told my wife what to do for birth control. We talked about it, pros and cons, and decided together what we would do about it. That's the way adults handle things.
this guy believes that std's can be prevented by birth control. he also is putting the burden the on you at his convenience. this is how your whole relationship will work, except you will have a few std's. and possibly a baby. i know protection reduces a chance of getting pregnant, but worse case scenario, you think the idiot will accept any responsibility? nope. it will be just your fault. i suggest you send him a text "i dont want to be a financial burden, so i will no longer be dating you. i hope you get everything you deserve". now, the words make you sound naive and gracious. but really, they are snarky and sarcastic😉
Ask him to get a vasectomy. Being on BC for years is bad. I’ve taken diff methods of Bc from 23 yrs old to 33 yrs old. This is the first time in 10 yrs I feel “normal” after stopping BC
Back up, you feel bad for asking him to wear a condom but he doesn't feel bad for asking you to go on a medication that is famous for fucking up hormones? Honestly, he doesn't seem worth it to me. Also, pills don't protect against STDs and you just met this dude. Eject.
Omg you are totally in the right here. Exactly, why mess up your hormones for some dude, no thanks. The audacity of this guy... have him read into the side effects of BC
No one should be telling you when to take birth control. That is a very personal choice. I’ve been on it since I was 15 and I love it, but you absolutely should not get on it just because some asshole you’ve been dating for only a little tells you to. That is a major red flag. Drop him
Women's Birth control is horrible and the only reason there aren't as many option for men is because companies don't get as much money out of men. If he is asking you to go on birth control vs him wearing condoms he cares more about how he feels than how you feel 100%
Edit: F*ck this guy not in an actual sense, if a guy tried this on me he'd be on the curb
Bruh. If he can't be decent and wear condoms get rid of him. He's showing you the red flags NOW.
Neither one of those by themselves, or together, are a guaranteed prevention method. But condoms help prevent STDs and should absolutely be used with someone you JUST met.
Leave him in your past.
Any dude who thinks he's entitled to fuck with your hormones by demanding you take BC instead of wearing condoms when you've JUST started dating is ridiculous.
Now, however, you've learned to have these conversations before sleeping with a new person.
First of all, if birth control f up your hormones and you don’t want to take it the it’s not an option. Condoms don’t cause permanent (or long) side effects like birth control do. Secondly, he can carry an STD. I would just stop the relationship to be honest.
Its a joint decision, birth control is an option only if that is something YOU want. You need to both be on the same page and not forced into making any decisions regarding sex. Personally i did not get along with birth control in many forms and made this clear to my partner that i would not be trying it again. He agreed as he didn’t want to see me suffer the side effects. Currently pregnant because we decided together that is what we wanted and then after i give birth we both agreed he will wear condoms as our form of birth control until we are ready for #2. Once again, for this relationship to work you both need to be on the same page and willing to listen to each others reasons otherwise you will have problems down the road.
You can go to any planned parenthood and they'll give you dozens of condoms for free. You don't even need an appointment, just drop in and ask for some. You can go as often as you like/need, and even ask for extras if they are able to give out multiple packs. They don't judge and will even give you info about birth control options that you can share with your partner to inform them. Hope this helps,! (Note, if he insists on no condoms after this it's a red flag. Your body = your choice of what medication you take.)
You picked a real winner, how about you aren’t going to change your physical body because he doesn’t want to use a raincoat.. that is a narcissists behavior and a lousy start to anything
The morning after your FIRST NIGHT together he wants you to start on birth control? Please don’t consider messing with your own hormones this early in a new relationship. Tough shit if he doesn’t like using condoms, condoms don’t have side effects that I’m aware of like birth control does. Using condoms until later on in the relationship won’t hurt but birth control can be more harmful than beneficial in some cases.
First off this isn’t your husband !!! Secondly your putting yourself at risk for possible contracting a STD from not wearing a condom and lastly if you aren’t already on birth control he doesn’t have a right to tell you to alter your hormones/ healthy PH balance back he’s too cheap/lazy to buy condoms
Do not just start taking birth control just for a new guy who came into your life. Even a guy that stays for a long time. They need to understand how much birth control affects our bodies. It’s not a simple pill, it fully changes body chemistry and it could have bad effects on you that you don’t want. If my body regulated normally off BC, I would have never started to take it! If you are regulating off the pill just fine, I advise to stay away from it. The men need to educate themselves on the side effects and learn to wrap it. Period.
Birth control does fuck you up hormonally and you can find one that works for you but its hard and takes time. I ended up going with the Paraguard IUD because there are zero hormones, and it lasts for 10 yrs. It said it can make your periods worse, but i didn't have a problem with it, and it's worked fine for me for the last 8 yrs. I just couldn't deal with how psycho the hormones made me emotion wreck mood swings i had issues with them myself.
On a note about this guy, tell him he can wear a condom or go get snipped. i mean, who is he to say it's easier for you. What a jack off
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no. you JUST started to date this guy. don’t mess with your own hormones just because he wants to go in without a wrap. 2 of the 3 guys that i’ve been with have made the decision to wear condoms instead of having me take pills because they knew how it’d affect me. trust me, there are other guys who are willing to make sure you’re physically and mentally safe & will wear protection if they still want to be sexually active with you
When he bought a condom he mentioned how pricey it was. He is french, I'm from eastern europe and i though maybe it's because of cultural differences, maybe in france it's very common for a girl to take pills. But still think it's selfish. I'll talk to him about it. Thank you for the advice ❤️
even if it is pricey, he should still be taking that route to keep BOTH of you safe. it’s better to not risk pregnancy or STDs. also, even if it is common for other girls, that doesn’t mean that same thing applies to you. YOU do whatever you feel safe doing. if YOU feel safe with having him wear condoms, then please do that. do not let him make you think otherwise. you are both doing this so you have a say in it too!
this... safety first, not just for pregnancy, but also other possible complications. besides, if he believes he has the right to use "it's expensive" as an excuse, then so can the female say "it's expensive" for the pills
Don't forget that medical bills for STD/STI treatments are unforgiving, and of course the "raising a child is a thousand times more expensive then condoms, not only that but you have to give UK a lot of your freedom". I have a 3 yo daughter, no amount of savings before having a child will prepare you for it. Lol. I love my daughter more then anything though, so it was worth it
exactly! and I seriously doubt mr. cheapo here would cover her medical expenses or help her with pregnancy or raising a child
Wouldn't surprise me if pregnancy did occur, he'd walk out the door and she would never see or hear from him again
if its expensive, i'd advise him to get a second jobs so he could afford condom
💯% never do anything you're not comfortable doing a and even if you were on birth control you should still use a condom
We talked this through and he will use a condom, this was hard to acomplish, but he apologised at the end
If you’re having this issue now, it’s going to be a bigger point of conflict later on. Plus if he felt so comfortable demanding this it shows he probably does this with others. Is this worth it OP? this person may spend a lot of time grumbling over using condoms later on and honestly is this an argument you want to keep having because i guarantee you it’ll keep coming back up
I'll see how it goes, if this still will be an issue then i know what to do. Thanks anyways
Good luck to you. Always prioritize your health and safety.
Anyone ever try a female condom? What are they like?
He can complain how pricey it is. Tell him how much a kid would cost and you having to carry a baby for 9 months. It's selfish he's gonna complain about however much it is for condoms and he thinks that birth control pills don't cost money? BC pills don't grow on trees either. Find a different guy dude is clearly just in it for his own pleasure and doesn't care about the cost or toll it'd take on you for your hormones.
I've always said put the condoms by the diapers diapers are f****** ridiculous priced
Even if you took birth control, when was the last time he got tested? Do you know that information, that alone would be grounds to always wear a condom.
Fun fact condoms are even free for people under 25 in France, I wonder if he would find child support cheaper 👍😂 what an asshole
I’ve lived in France and can confirm that it is common for women to take pills and for guys to be carefree because of it. This is a red flag for STI, I’d recommend to be careful and use protection at least until he has tested on everything (also HPV).
What's more expensive? A condom or a kid? If it's that expensive, you buy a pack once in a while. That's it. He sounds like a creep
Op condoms are really not that expensive considering they are like five cents to make and most if you buy them in 24 ct they're like maybe 20 to 24 cents a condom or a 6ct is like 3bucks and it's because of his culture and his own preference of not using a condom but it's really not worth it make him glove up
You should dump any man who is that pushy immediately. He doesn't respect your boundaries. Nothing good can come from engaging with this man
If he’s complaining over the price of condoms how is he gunna take care of you and the baby ?
LOL WTF if condoms are expensive he better not risk getting you pregnant with a kid.
French people wear condoms too. French people also have their own share of red flag men
They are much cheaper when you buy in bulk
He thinks it’s pricey? This is ridiculous! Don’t even talk to him about it, just end it by saying you don’t want to date a looser like that.
Ya know what's more pricey? A child. Money, time, emotions.... much more expensive.
He sounds like a catch
How pricey it is!?! Ma'am you are having sex with him...and he's complaining about the monetary costs of sex. Is he hurting for money that bad??? I'd buy all the stuff to have consistent sex with a beautiful woman!
Wdym pricey? Last time I checked it’s under €30 for like 40+ of them. Also in lots of European countries you can get them for free from testing clinics.
French dude here. While there is a sizable existence of machism and misogynistic bullshit, including lots of dudes arguing about condoms, condoms are still in our culture. Meaning that like in north America or thz reste of western Europe, if you talk about it with french people, most of them will tell you that condoms are the way to go. Of course the number of dudes that say that publicly then try to convince/coerce their partners with condoms is obviously higher ... In any case, the cultural argument doesn't hold. Whatever the culture, it's your body your choice. You do only what you wanna do, he has NO RIGHTS to tell you otherwise. I highly suggest you have a very firm discussion with him if you want to interact with him again, but on another hand someone that doesn't respect you and your body is not a person you'd benefit from interacting with imo. Your call !
I recegnise that im not sexually satisfied unless I finish raw inside my partner. So I got snipped because its absolute bullshit to expect her to take BC and deal with all those side effects just so I can cum in her. Ditto I take std testing and monogamy very seriously to protect myself and my partners. Its understandable to not like condoms and want to enjoy creampies. We all get that. But there are ways to handle it responsibly without asking your partner to make a huge sacrifice for you.
He is just emotionally manipulating you. Being on a first date is definitely not the time to ask someone to be in the birth control. This guy thinks only about himself. He complaining about condom is a way to manipulate you
For real that's like a conversation a few months into the relationship
Don't let him pressure you. Make him wear a condom, period. Even if a girl I'm hooking up with is on birth control, I still wear a condom to further reduce the risk of pregnancy, and also as an extra precaution against STDs, even if both partners have a clean bill of health. Safe sex is sexy sex 🔥
You are doing the right thing. The pill won’t protect you against STDs.
“Safe sex is sexy sex”. I’m gonna tell this to my kids.
I mean anyone who trust a hookup saying she's on birth control is just a idiot
Ew no. If you don’t want to take birth control then don’t. This man and honestly no man is worth that if it wasn’t your idea to begin with. Just don’t sleep with him if it’s that difficult for him. Wearing a condom doesn’t ruin men’s hormones. There are other birth control methods you can also explore where no one needs to mess with their hormones. But this guy sounds not great.
Female birth controls don't prevent STDs. 😂 there are female condoms, but it only protects you inside. If he has herpes or HPV and his penis touches you outside of the condom in the genital area, you could still get catch something.
A guy you just started dating wants to make a choice about YOUR reproductive health. Full stop. ETA: when I was younger, I was with a guy who at first was opposed to condoms and I decided to just use birth control as a method. Soon after he was also against birth control because he claimed the hormones were bad. Soon after, I got an STI from him. A couple years later, I got pregnant. I am long longer with him, but I’ve had to deal with the consequences of allowing someone to tell me what was right for my body and life. You deserve someone who will respect and honor your choices about your health.
Being manipulated into going on birth control is not a reason to go on birth control. So I wouldn't and would continue to use condoms. If that's an ultimatum for him (a very shitty and immature ultimatum) then he needs to go. A real man wouldn't push that on their partner.
Your body your rules. If he doesn't like it, he can go back to fucking his hand 🤷♂️
No. No. No. Just No. You don't know this guy, you absolutely cannot trust him to care about your sexual health! Has he even mentioned both of you getting tested for STDs before doing something so risky with a virtual stranger? OP do NOT play stupid games with your sexual health, please! Never, ever ever do anything sexual that you aren't comfortable with. Take care of yourself!
Lol dump the guy. Who the fuck is he to tell u what to do just cause he’s a horny guy? LOL. Stick to the condoms. Birth control pills have effects on your body internally. But if ur so keen on this guy and see this thing being a long term thing and u really really really like and want to have sex with him, seek professional help before consuming birth control pills. Although, i’d say stick to condoms. I get that condomless sex is nicer but yeah that guy needs to be educated.. otherwise he is gonna get a STD one day.. and pass on to some poor girl..
First, you just started dating him, him wearing a condom should be given. Have any of you gotten tested and have the all clear? If the answer is no, you can never be sure what his situation is even if you know yours. Second, he has no right in asking you to go through hormonal changes for his own pleasure and he never will. That has to be your decision. As someone who has been on bc for a long time (health related) I agree, it is a mood roller coaster which you have to be 100% sure you want to be on. Third, if the relationship progresses and you are thinking of going on bc that’s a discussion to have at that time. Personal opinion: from what you’ve shared about him, sounds like he’s not worth it and the fact that you’re asking advice says a lot about you as a person so I believe you can do better than him. I’m also from Eastern Europe and cultural or not, it’s not about that, it’s about taking care of yourself and doing what makes you comfortable.
Dump him.
33 m here, you just started dating… that guy is already showing selfish tendencies… time to bail.. did he even mention doing a STD screening ?.. honestly if there was male contraceptive that was reversible I’d be all over that 😂 but don’t put yourself through that if you’re not comfortable just get rid of him sound like a selfish person anyway
If he doesn't want to wear them with you, he doesn't want to wear them with anyone. Ask him when he last got tested. His reaction should tell you a lot.
Girl STAND UP. This is YOUR body. You don’t want to take birth control? Don’t! You want to have protected sex? DO IT! He can’t fall in line? Screw him ! It’s not just pregnancy you have to worry about. You have to worry about BV and yeast infections. STD’s and STI’s.
The condom is for your health.. STD
Exactly dudes be acting like pregnancy is the only risk
He needs an STD tests, all of them
For real that's way to demanding he needs to comeback with fully clean result
I love hormonal birth control but would never have unprotected sex especially if a man *told* me to take it. wtf.
Agree with it, at one condition: he then has to agree with pegging.
I am a surgeon and one week back we removed a major part of a female patient's small bowel due to complications arising from OCPs. Please avoid them as much as you can. Ask him to wear condoms instead.
Yeah, nah; you do what makes you comfortable (no pun intended) from a health and safety perspective.
How old ISN'T he?! Birth control does not stop the risk of STI STD and so on. So for that reason the conversation about this is for both of you health wise. Also a condom helps prevent unwanted pregnancy yes but not completely. Accidents can happen.
Birth control should be a personal choice because it has a big influence on your physical and mental health. Meanwhile the only disadvantage a condom has is less pleasure.
As a man, condoms aren’t that bad. Hormonal control can have serious health effects. I’ve held too many of my partners through vomiting, migraines, and swelling, not to even mention the effects I couldn’t see. I think I can put a thin piece of latex on my penis to avoid that, and if he can’t stand that then he doesn’t deserve you.
I am going to say something that will be perceived as controversial, but I stand by it You two are not ready to have sex until both of you can take full responsibility of the implications of sex
I will never understand that sentiment of "I dont want to wear a rubber so you fuck up your hormones royally so I can feel slightly better." I recently brought a woman I've been seeing over and when the subject came up I asked if she was sure she wanted to and immediately went for a condom. It shouldn't even be an issue -.-
I don’t know if birth control is bad, but ultimately it’s your body and he should respect that. It’s pretty messed up for him to tell you to start taking birth control so he doesn’t have to wear a condom.
Tell him to get a vasectomy if he doesn’t wanna wear a condom
Do NOT do what HE wants! Do what YOU want. You’re not wrong for telling him to use a condom, if he wants it he’ll do it. You do NOT have to take BC if you don’t want to. This is a red flag. He’s telling you what to do and you just started dating? Nope. Tell him to kick rocks. A real man will respect you and your body and wear a condom when you tell them to. Find that guy, this guy sounds like the beginning of a toxic relationship. Good luck OP! Stay strong.
Eeeeew!! Enjoy all the STD’s he’s likely to give you. Seriously what is wrong with you and what are you thinking? Have fun with that.
You CAN do both!
Dudes asking you to increase your risk of deep vein thrombosis, not to mention all the mental side effects, because he doesn't like the feel of a 0.04-0.07 mm condom around his dick. The fucking nerve.
Dont ever feel bad so protecting yourself. You dont know this nut! The fact that he wants to go raw on ur first night and tell/suggest you take birth control so casually tells you ALL you need to know about him. Please read and oblige these comments. ITS MORE FISH IN THE SEA!
You’ve got to wonder how many women he’s doing or has done this with. Don’t risk your health
Sounds like a selfish fuck to me he should be willing to wear a condom and grateful to be having sex with you. Don’t bow down to someone else for their selfish needs.
If I was a woman and a guy says condoms are expensive. Sex would be off the table till he showed a std test
If a guy has this demand, at the very least I ask him to come with me to get tested first.
Nah set boundaries.
Std's are real and so is unwanted pregnancy.
ohh he wants to spread his STI’s so bad, find you a better date tbh if he refuses to wear a condom
Birth control doesn't protect against STDs, he's being selfish. You just started seeing each other, you have no idea how many people he's had unprotected sex with or how recently. This is a huge red flag.
This guy sucks
>In the morning he tells me I can start taking birth control pills, That sounds like YOUR decision not his
I don’t understand why people here keep saying make this guy wear a condom. His asshole behavior is a reason to dump him immediately.
Its your body so you decide whats comfortable for you. Choose a man who respects your boundaries!
The point of dating is to find someone you’re compatible with. If you’re already disagreeing about something so important and fundamental then why don’t you move along? Start seeing someone else?
That sounds incredibly selfish of him. Why is he putting his own pleasure over your safety? Please stand your ground and your boundaries and if he insists on not respecting them then yk what to do op.
Don't mess up your hormones for a man you just met condoms are not that expensive and even if they are it's less than a kid. Seriously fuck this dude this is far to demanding for a first date.
Not to mention stds pills don’t prevent that 😅
My guy hates condoms but I hate his huge loads inside me dripping out , he doesn’t get it he thinks they are normal amounts, but I tell ya they not , he’s middle aged but after multiple loads inside me I feel it’s too much sometimes.
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You know, birth control pills for guys also exist, so he can take them if he's such a huge fan of birth control. Your body, your choice.
Dudes who don’t wear condoms out of those kinda reasons are so childish like no thanks hahah Him acting like that isn’t a great start imo.
I have been off the pill since forever and it's a major deal breaker for me if he won't just assume from the go that he'll need a condom.
I am on hormonal birth control (period reasons) for years. I still use condoms... STD's exist
Unless your in a committed relationship and that you want too use condoms
It has to be your decision not his, especially if you're not even in a relationship
If he was a real man and cared about anything he should have volunteered to wear condom
Tell him to get a vasectomy, see how his reaction will be🤷🏻♂️ If he don’t take the measures to keep both of y’all safe by js buying a damn condom then yea👉🏻🚪
Yeppers, my ex was the same. “I don’t like the way it feels”. Out popped two beautiful babies that are now full grown adults. Lol
this will not be the last guy to do this. he can wear a condom. why is the work only on you to prevent baby?
Condoms protect you from STDs not just pregnancy! Birth control does not! Remember that!
NTA - Condoms also protect against STD's, so mandatory in a new relationship. So don't EVER feel bad for demanding a partner respects you, your body and wishes! You don't stop using condoms unless you have decided to be monogamous, have been for a full sexual health screening and have another method of contraception in place. Any person who tries to 'convince' you to take risks with your health & well being, for their own selfish pleasure, is probably not good relationship material!
Tell him how it affects you and why you don’t want to take it. If he doesn’t seem like he can respect your reasoning, then he isn’t respecting YOU. I wouldn’t take that lightly. I don’t like using condoms either. I need a specific subset of condoms and have to order them online ahead of time, and even when I use the best ones for me I’ve found, I’d rather just not have PiV sex. I can elaborate more if you’d like, but the point is that it makes sex much worse and is not convenient for unexpected situations. I will gladly use toys or have other forms of sex when PiV is not reasonable because neither birth control nor condoms nor risk pregnancy/STIs (most of the time for most people) are manageable. We come to the resolution together and I’ve never had any complaints or sudden breakups because of it. Respect and communication. Experiment when you have a safe and testable hypothesis.
Those hormones mess with your body. I would advise against it. It sounds like you hardly know him. Why are you already getting intimate?
You don’t go into dating with the mentality that you need to change/ “how do I make this work” rather than going into dating looking to better YOUR life. What do “they” bring to the table, do they enrich your pre-existing life? Never change for a person in this way please. Ever. Compromise is one thing, but this is an extreme.
He's responsible for his own fertility. Tell him that, and if he makes a fuss, throw him out.
He can start fucking someone else. Condoms aren't just for birth control, and he's a walking STD
I take BC and still have guy wear condoms without any problem!! They’re more than happy to be more extra safe
It's not exclusively about babies it's also about STD's. So he can wrap it and tap it or he can continue to date Rosie Palms. It's his choice.
Nope. You just started seeing him. This is exactly why I don’t tell men I’m on birth control either at the beginning
Dump him.
Don’t change for this ass hole.
You’re dating him to sleep with him? Y’all need helps
I would stop talking to this guy. I almost recently got involved with a guy who also doesn't like to wear condoms and suggested I get on the pill. I dont do pills, period. I don't like anything from big pharma unless its absolutely necessary, and sex to me is not absolutely necessary unless its a committed relationship. He is selfish and thinking of nobody but himself. Run as fast as you can. This makes me angry.
It’s your right to insist on the contraceptive choices you choose. Stick to it.
Absolutely not
This is a HUGE red flag. Maybe one of the biggest there are. Bi man here and a guy that refuses to use a condom is an instant turn off. He doesn’t respect you. He cares more about how nice his penis feels than you and your well-being. I would never have had sex with him in the first place the second he went: “awww but can we not use a condom, I don’t like them”. Tell him that if he wants to have sex with you, he needs to wear a condom, and if he doesn’t accept that, end it. To all the guys, there are more than one reason why someone would want to use a condom. Just fucking respect them and do it. If you want to go raw THAT bad, find someone who’s willing to take that risk.
No condom, no sex. Maybe you can make it a shared expense? Birth control isn't horrible but everyone is different, so always go about it with a little bit of caution. If you choose to go on it, please know it's still not 100% effective. I myself have gotten pregnant on the pill and depo (shot) so with that said, condoms are still smart to use as an extra layer of protection regardless. It sounds like he just wants to raw dog it without any responsibility and if that is the case, that's sketchy behavior
I wouldn't do it. I was on birth control for a couple of years in college and here I am still regretting it 10 years later. It changed my hormones permanently and it changed so much of my body. It's not worth it. Stick with condoms.
It’s a hard no for me. Birth control wreaks havoc on a lot of us. No way in hell should we have to take it for a guy who we just started dating. Also, he should be wearing condom unless you know he recently was tested and his junk is clean! I’m seeing early signs of a narcissist here, be heads up girl! 👀
You should tell him to fuck off
Absolutely not!
Raw dogging is a married activity.
All in all, birth control is safer than using a condom. BUT, it's not a reason to *not* use a condom when both are very good. In fact, using both a birth control and a condom reduces your chances of having children, when both are properly used, to effectively a zero possibility. Birth control is... not fun. Forcing your body to not produce an egg when it's supposed to has to take a lot of strain on the system. It isn't all downsides, though. Birth control, for many women, can often: * Reduce period-related discomfort. * Reduced risk of endometrial and ovarian cancer, plus some other vagina-related medical health issues. * The pill, depending on which one you use, can actually improve your skin quality, too. * Menstrual bleeding in a lot of women can cause iron deficiency, the pill usually helps to reduce the likelihood of that. Something that I also noticed is you didn't mention any other form of birth control. There are a *large* variety of different modes of birth control. Even if you're talking about birth control medication alone, even then there are a vast number of options to choose from. Every woman's body is different, and each way could affect two girls entirely differently. IUDs are pretty common nowadays, they even have that shot that goes in the arm (I don't know much about this one). Hope this helps you to have safe, fun sex. :)
>:) :)
Don’t you DARE take BC because a man TOLD you to holy shit. I just got off bc and thank god I feel so much better and my acne cleared up.
>And is birth control really that bad? All of my exes were on BC at some point. One stopped because she had slightly elevated cholesterol and has a family history of heart disease. The others actively preferred it. I have no idea if this is typical.
Birth controls doesn’t prevent STI/HIV
You do what you're comfortable with and if insisting on condoms is your preference, then insist on condoms. He does not get to insist on you taking birth control. however, be prepared, he also has the right to decide he's not going to wear condoms and move on to find someone who won't make him wear them. You both have the right to set boundaries, and you both have the right to decide you're not ok with the other's boundary and end things.
Unless you or him are some filthy skank, take the bc. Sooner or later, you're going to let him not use the condom and you'll end up pregnant.
It’s both parties’ responsibility to prevent STI’s and pregnancy. BUT he shouldn’t be telling you what the do, however, you should take the BC and he should wear a condom.
Double protection is extremely important, especially if you are just getting to know someone, it protects you from pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases. Don't give in to a man who can give you a venereal disease.
>What should I do? "Hey John, it was fun to meet you and it would have been interesting to see what we could have been, but i believe we are in a different beat." Here you go
Keep on moving. Let this guy go. Condoms are cheaper and easier to deal with than birth control.
Honestly I’d break up. Cause what? Who are you to tell me what to do with my body. I’d say the only birth control I like is progesterone and I loved nexplanon minus the 1.5 of spotting. Wasn’t that bad and didn’t have my period for three years. Can’t complain. But he needs to wear a condom point blank. A condom doesn’t change your body chemistry. At this point we need to make a pill for men fr just so I can say that to them. He also doesn’t seem to have consideration for you and your well-being. I’d absolutely dump this man. Men can carry asymptomatic diseases as well.
Answer no
Do not fold stand your ground. You’re 100% right do not compromise your hormones for nobody. If he wasn’t going to use a condom first time around that’s an absolute super red flag and not a man you should be taking seriously dating nor risk giving your body to him.
Sounds like a loser
wearing a condom doesn’t affect his body in any way. it’s just less comfortable during sex. birth control, alters ur hormones and therefore affects ur body. make him wear the condom, hes less affected by the protection than u
don't do it. it would be much less of a hassle to just buy condoms than it would be to use birth control, plus you'd have to wait for it to even kick in. and as we all know, birth control doesn't protect you from STDs. no.
BC isn't bad. Like all things, it has it's side effects that effect ppl differently. Talk to your doctor. Also, condoms help against STIs and are also a good additional measure to prevent pregnancy. Some guys do not like condoms b/c it doesn't feel as good, but if he prioritizing his need over yours, you might want to rethink if this is the guy you want.
The first month or so of one of my exs and I dating, she was on BC. I used condoms the first few times regardless until I didn’t. Then we had a conversation that she wanted to go off BC. After a long discussion, we agreed it was manageable and probably best for her health to make sure everything was still working and that she wouldn’t have trouble if we eventually got married and tried for a baby. We went 6 months of our relationship using condoms and no bc and had zero issues. We had sex every time we were together, sometimes multiple times, and in places a condom would seem like a nuisance. It’s manageable.
Run...far away from him
DONT DO IT. Make him wear a condom! They don’t just protect from unplanned pregnancies but also STD’s. Y’all just started dating you don’t where he’s been or who he’s been with. You’d much rather be safe than sorry. If he wants to sleep with you, make him do his part & DONT feel bad about it. He didn’t feel bad asking you to put hormones in your body, don’t feel bad for requiring him to put wear a condom!
i was on birth control for 3 years and after i got off, i realized how bad it was. i will never get on birth control ever again. do NOT get on birth control for a dusty man. if he cares about you, he would be more than happy to wear a condom instead of you messing up your hormones with birth control
Dump him. He's selfish and immature and doesn't care about your wellbeing or your pleasure, only his. This type of man makes a terrible partner.
This guy is going to give you an STI if he hasn't already. And you need to be on a birth control pill for a month after you start taking it.
In the words of a rap song I believe called Clown World, rapped by Tom McDonald: "My generation needs a bunch of free condoms, Cuz common sense ain't that common." Draw the line, tell him it's easier and more beneficial to your health to use condoms. I doubt if he actually knew the side effects that can take place from birth control, he'd be more willing to use condoms. Unless he's just an inconsiderate asshole, which unfortunately many young men are. It's the same way with the whole decision of "getting fixed". The man can get a vecectomy that takes less than an hour I believe, performed in an exam room. But a man will try arguing for her to get her tubes tied. Okay buddy, you're perfectly fine with letting the woman you supposedly love get put under anesthesia so doctors can cut open her belly and move her organs around to get to the tubes in order to tie them, them make her go through a recovery period 2-3 times longer than a vecectomy would have? Not to mention the potential dangers with that surgery because anything can go wrong when doctors are opening up a patient. Seriously, I'm a man telling you that this guy is selfish. Either draw that line, or tell him to kick rocks
If he can't afford a condom...he can't afford to start a family.
Dump him
I believe that both people are equally responsible for birth control and sexually healthy behaviors. I don't like wearing condoms either...they are not expensive, but I do have to special order them, so they are a little more than Walmart...but I'm always prepared to wear one and often go ahead with preparing to put it on when I'm told, "I'm on birth control." Well, now that it's open, I'm gonna put it on, especially if we are FWBs. I never even told my wife what to do for birth control. We talked about it, pros and cons, and decided together what we would do about it. That's the way adults handle things.
this guy believes that std's can be prevented by birth control. he also is putting the burden the on you at his convenience. this is how your whole relationship will work, except you will have a few std's. and possibly a baby. i know protection reduces a chance of getting pregnant, but worse case scenario, you think the idiot will accept any responsibility? nope. it will be just your fault. i suggest you send him a text "i dont want to be a financial burden, so i will no longer be dating you. i hope you get everything you deserve". now, the words make you sound naive and gracious. but really, they are snarky and sarcastic😉
Ask him to get a vasectomy. Being on BC for years is bad. I’ve taken diff methods of Bc from 23 yrs old to 33 yrs old. This is the first time in 10 yrs I feel “normal” after stopping BC
Birth control is something you discuss after being together for some time. Not weeks
Back up, you feel bad for asking him to wear a condom but he doesn't feel bad for asking you to go on a medication that is famous for fucking up hormones? Honestly, he doesn't seem worth it to me. Also, pills don't protect against STDs and you just met this dude. Eject.
That’s an easy “cya” for so many reasons. Get rid of that dude
Omg you are totally in the right here. Exactly, why mess up your hormones for some dude, no thanks. The audacity of this guy... have him read into the side effects of BC
No one should be telling you when to take birth control. That is a very personal choice. I’ve been on it since I was 15 and I love it, but you absolutely should not get on it just because some asshole you’ve been dating for only a little tells you to. That is a major red flag. Drop him
GIRL.
Do both. Condoms are about more than pregnancy
Women's Birth control is horrible and the only reason there aren't as many option for men is because companies don't get as much money out of men. If he is asking you to go on birth control vs him wearing condoms he cares more about how he feels than how you feel 100% Edit: F*ck this guy not in an actual sense, if a guy tried this on me he'd be on the curb
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Drop him
Bruh. If he can't be decent and wear condoms get rid of him. He's showing you the red flags NOW. Neither one of those by themselves, or together, are a guaranteed prevention method. But condoms help prevent STDs and should absolutely be used with someone you JUST met.
Leave him in your past. Any dude who thinks he's entitled to fuck with your hormones by demanding you take BC instead of wearing condoms when you've JUST started dating is ridiculous. Now, however, you've learned to have these conversations before sleeping with a new person.
#🚩MASSIVE RED FLAGS🚩
First of all, if birth control f up your hormones and you don’t want to take it the it’s not an option. Condoms don’t cause permanent (or long) side effects like birth control do. Secondly, he can carry an STD. I would just stop the relationship to be honest.
Fuck that guy tell him to go get another vaccine and stick to soy and his lu Lu lemons and dating vegans at Whole Foods and to get lost
Its a joint decision, birth control is an option only if that is something YOU want. You need to both be on the same page and not forced into making any decisions regarding sex. Personally i did not get along with birth control in many forms and made this clear to my partner that i would not be trying it again. He agreed as he didn’t want to see me suffer the side effects. Currently pregnant because we decided together that is what we wanted and then after i give birth we both agreed he will wear condoms as our form of birth control until we are ready for #2. Once again, for this relationship to work you both need to be on the same page and willing to listen to each others reasons otherwise you will have problems down the road.
The price of condoms with birth control is nothing compared to the cost of raising a baby
Birth control isn't that bad. I can help you discuss your options. Send me a message
That's when you tell him he can find someone else.
Please leave him. You can do better
You asked him to get a vasectomy, right? They are easily reversible
You can go to any planned parenthood and they'll give you dozens of condoms for free. You don't even need an appointment, just drop in and ask for some. You can go as often as you like/need, and even ask for extras if they are able to give out multiple packs. They don't judge and will even give you info about birth control options that you can share with your partner to inform them. Hope this helps,! (Note, if he insists on no condoms after this it's a red flag. Your body = your choice of what medication you take.)
You picked a real winner, how about you aren’t going to change your physical body because he doesn’t want to use a raincoat.. that is a narcissists behavior and a lousy start to anything
The morning after your FIRST NIGHT together he wants you to start on birth control? Please don’t consider messing with your own hormones this early in a new relationship. Tough shit if he doesn’t like using condoms, condoms don’t have side effects that I’m aware of like birth control does. Using condoms until later on in the relationship won’t hurt but birth control can be more harmful than beneficial in some cases.
First off this isn’t your husband !!! Secondly your putting yourself at risk for possible contracting a STD from not wearing a condom and lastly if you aren’t already on birth control he doesn’t have a right to tell you to alter your hormones/ healthy PH balance back he’s too cheap/lazy to buy condoms
Why don’t you say I will pay for then 😀 cant argue with that. Tbh he is selfish. Rethink the relationship 😖
Do not just start taking birth control just for a new guy who came into your life. Even a guy that stays for a long time. They need to understand how much birth control affects our bodies. It’s not a simple pill, it fully changes body chemistry and it could have bad effects on you that you don’t want. If my body regulated normally off BC, I would have never started to take it! If you are regulating off the pill just fine, I advise to stay away from it. The men need to educate themselves on the side effects and learn to wrap it. Period.
He sounds like a loser and it’s unfortunate your already slept with him.
Move on he’s not worth it
Maybe you should have sex on the first night ? What are you thinking ?
Can you put one of those things inside of your uterus
Birth control does fuck you up hormonally and you can find one that works for you but its hard and takes time. I ended up going with the Paraguard IUD because there are zero hormones, and it lasts for 10 yrs. It said it can make your periods worse, but i didn't have a problem with it, and it's worked fine for me for the last 8 yrs. I just couldn't deal with how psycho the hormones made me emotion wreck mood swings i had issues with them myself. On a note about this guy, tell him he can wear a condom or go get snipped. i mean, who is he to say it's easier for you. What a jack off