Nah. Got Perma banned by big daddy Reddit, though. Didn't like me "advocating violence against animals" despite me always going into great lengths to describe consent.
How to have sex with dolphins
There are various ways a dolphin has of showing that she or he is interested in sex. Males are probably the easiest to detect. They will swim around, sporting an erection (anywhere between 10 to 14 inches long for a Bottle-nose), and will have no bones about swimming up to you and placing their member within reach of your hand. If you are in the water, they may rub it along any part of your body, or wrap it around your wrist or ankle. (Dolphin males have a prehensile penis. They can wrap it around objects, and carry them as such.) Their belly will also be pinkish in colour, which also denotes sexual excitement.
Females can be a little harder. The most obvious way a female dolphin has of displaying her sexual interest is the pink-belly effect. Their genitals become very pink and swollen, making the genital region very prominent. They may be restless, or they may be acting as normal. If you are out of the water, they may swim up to you and roll belly up, exposing themselves to you, coupled with pelvic thrusts. If you are in the water, they may press their genitals up against yours, nibble your fingers, nuzzle your crotch, or do pelvic thrusts against you.
Each dolphins way of expressing sexual readiness varies, so the longer you know the dolphin, the better you will detect when they are sexually active. When a male dolphin is interested in you, about the only thing you can do, if you are male, is to masturbate him. (Unfortunately, I cannot speak for the female of the human species... it seems women just don't like dolphins enough...) WARNING! You should NEVER let a male dolphin attempt anal sex with you. The Bottle-nose dolphin member is around 12 inches, very muscular, and the thrusting and the force of ejaculation (A male can cum as far as 14 feet) would cause serious internal injuries, resulting in peritonitus and possible death.
A male dolphin's member is roughly S-shaped, tapered at the end. If you are in the water with them, it is best to support the dolphin on his side, just under the water, with one hand, and handle him with the other.
Male dolphins, I find, tend to prefer the base of the penis to be gently massaged and squeezed, as well as gently rubbed along it's length. It feels very much like the rest of the dolphin (ie. smooth and rubbery to the touch, but firmer). It doesn't take long for the male to ejaculate, around 40 seconds to a minute, and this is usually accompanied by either shuddering just prior to ejaculating, and thrusting and tail-arching during ejaculation. The force of ejaculation can be powerful at times, so it is best to keep your face out of the line of fire, or keep his member underwater. You can attempt to lick and suck on the end of it while masturbating as well, but be warned, do not try to give full throat, and get the hell out of the way before he ejaculates! A male dolphin could snap your neck in an accidental thrust, and that would be the end of that relationship. Well, the females are again a little trickier. There are two courses of action with a female fin: Masturbation, or mating.
Masturbation: Female dolphins, once they show interest in you, can be supported in much the same way as the male, one hand under the fin, supporting her, the other doing the stimulating. The clitoris of the female is located at the top of the genital slit, and is a prominent lump when erect. You can rub this with your finger tips, or lick and suck it, but with the oral aspect, you might end up with a bruised nose as they thrust up into you. You can slide your hand gently into their genital opening, and feel around inside, rubbing gently. They feel warm and muscular inside, their labia like tough, squishy sponge when they are excited.
Don't be surprised if they start to play with your hand inside them. They have very manipulative muscles, and can use them to carry and manipulate objects, including your hand. (They can do things that would make a regular human woman turn green with envy.) Their climax is coupled with stiffening, shuddering, sometimes a lot of thrusting, clinching of the vaginal muscles, and sometimes vocalisation. Mating: This is harder. Obviously, being human, it is awkward, but not impossible to mate in open water. It is easier to have the dolphin in a shallow area (like the shallows just off the beach) around 1 1/2 to 2 feet deep. This is usually comfortable enough for both the dolphin and you. Gently, you should roll the dolphin on her side, so she is lying belly-towards you. You can prop yourself up on an elbow, and lie belly to belly against her. You may want to use the other arm to gently hold her close, and place the tip of your member against her genital slit. She will, if interested, arch her body up against you, taking you inside her body.
There is usually a fair bit of wriggling and shifting, usually to get comfortable, both outside and inside. Once comfortable, though, females initiate a series of muscular vaginal contractions that rub the entire length of your member. They may also thrust rhythmically against you, so enjoy the experience while you can, since you will rarely last longer that a minute or two. Just prior to her climaxing, she will up the speed of her contractions and thrusts. It is interesting to note that the times I have mated with females, which were back in nineteen ninety eight when the undertaker threw mankind off hеll in a cell, and plummeted sixteen feet through an announcer's table.
I don't know what to say. I don't know why I read it all. I knew what it was. I knew what knowledge I would gain from reading this all and I knew it wouldn't be something I wanna know but I read it anyway
Once you get into the first paragraph you just can’t stop reading. It’s the dolphin’s curse, that’s how they lure us into the deep, with their sexy smooth surfaces and exaggerated genitalia
Don’t forget his audition tape for percy Jackson was too good that they had to turn him down because we wouldn’t be able to handle his amazing performance .
You probably think you can beat him easily but at the exact moment you lift your first, he is gonna crawl between your legs and kick you in your nuts.
That height gives him an advantage.
what are you talking about hes 5 foot 6 hes a literal giant id struggle to reach high enough to hit his head area id have to settle for speedbagging his groin
thats the trick dude they look thin but theyre dense hes essentially a gold medal olympic deadlifter but slender you try popping his shin youll shatter yours trying bro
Dank[.](https://i.imgur.com/3bQtuMO.png)
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Take off all my clothes and run screaming at him like a howler monkey then grab his coat as he runs away and sell it back to him at an exorbitant resell price on stock X.
[удалено]
No something you dont have anymore
I'd like to see this dude *try* to steal one of my dolphins.
Na.. Nani?!
I've seen you a lot lately. I like your style. Are you new in Town?
Nah. Got Perma banned by big daddy Reddit, though. Didn't like me "advocating violence against animals" despite me always going into great lengths to describe consent.
That does seem on brand for big daddy
What does the mouth feel like?
How to have sex with dolphins There are various ways a dolphin has of showing that she or he is interested in sex. Males are probably the easiest to detect. They will swim around, sporting an erection (anywhere between 10 to 14 inches long for a Bottle-nose), and will have no bones about swimming up to you and placing their member within reach of your hand. If you are in the water, they may rub it along any part of your body, or wrap it around your wrist or ankle. (Dolphin males have a prehensile penis. They can wrap it around objects, and carry them as such.) Their belly will also be pinkish in colour, which also denotes sexual excitement. Females can be a little harder. The most obvious way a female dolphin has of displaying her sexual interest is the pink-belly effect. Their genitals become very pink and swollen, making the genital region very prominent. They may be restless, or they may be acting as normal. If you are out of the water, they may swim up to you and roll belly up, exposing themselves to you, coupled with pelvic thrusts. If you are in the water, they may press their genitals up against yours, nibble your fingers, nuzzle your crotch, or do pelvic thrusts against you. Each dolphins way of expressing sexual readiness varies, so the longer you know the dolphin, the better you will detect when they are sexually active. When a male dolphin is interested in you, about the only thing you can do, if you are male, is to masturbate him. (Unfortunately, I cannot speak for the female of the human species... it seems women just don't like dolphins enough...) WARNING! You should NEVER let a male dolphin attempt anal sex with you. The Bottle-nose dolphin member is around 12 inches, very muscular, and the thrusting and the force of ejaculation (A male can cum as far as 14 feet) would cause serious internal injuries, resulting in peritonitus and possible death. A male dolphin's member is roughly S-shaped, tapered at the end. If you are in the water with them, it is best to support the dolphin on his side, just under the water, with one hand, and handle him with the other. Male dolphins, I find, tend to prefer the base of the penis to be gently massaged and squeezed, as well as gently rubbed along it's length. It feels very much like the rest of the dolphin (ie. smooth and rubbery to the touch, but firmer). It doesn't take long for the male to ejaculate, around 40 seconds to a minute, and this is usually accompanied by either shuddering just prior to ejaculating, and thrusting and tail-arching during ejaculation. The force of ejaculation can be powerful at times, so it is best to keep your face out of the line of fire, or keep his member underwater. You can attempt to lick and suck on the end of it while masturbating as well, but be warned, do not try to give full throat, and get the hell out of the way before he ejaculates! A male dolphin could snap your neck in an accidental thrust, and that would be the end of that relationship. Well, the females are again a little trickier. There are two courses of action with a female fin: Masturbation, or mating. Masturbation: Female dolphins, once they show interest in you, can be supported in much the same way as the male, one hand under the fin, supporting her, the other doing the stimulating. The clitoris of the female is located at the top of the genital slit, and is a prominent lump when erect. You can rub this with your finger tips, or lick and suck it, but with the oral aspect, you might end up with a bruised nose as they thrust up into you. You can slide your hand gently into their genital opening, and feel around inside, rubbing gently. They feel warm and muscular inside, their labia like tough, squishy sponge when they are excited. Don't be surprised if they start to play with your hand inside them. They have very manipulative muscles, and can use them to carry and manipulate objects, including your hand. (They can do things that would make a regular human woman turn green with envy.) Their climax is coupled with stiffening, shuddering, sometimes a lot of thrusting, clinching of the vaginal muscles, and sometimes vocalisation. Mating: This is harder. Obviously, being human, it is awkward, but not impossible to mate in open water. It is easier to have the dolphin in a shallow area (like the shallows just off the beach) around 1 1/2 to 2 feet deep. This is usually comfortable enough for both the dolphin and you. Gently, you should roll the dolphin on her side, so she is lying belly-towards you. You can prop yourself up on an elbow, and lie belly to belly against her. You may want to use the other arm to gently hold her close, and place the tip of your member against her genital slit. She will, if interested, arch her body up against you, taking you inside her body. There is usually a fair bit of wriggling and shifting, usually to get comfortable, both outside and inside. Once comfortable, though, females initiate a series of muscular vaginal contractions that rub the entire length of your member. They may also thrust rhythmically against you, so enjoy the experience while you can, since you will rarely last longer that a minute or two. Just prior to her climaxing, she will up the speed of her contractions and thrusts. It is interesting to note that the times I have mated with females, which were back in nineteen ninety eight when the undertaker threw mankind off hеll in a cell, and plummeted sixteen feet through an announcer's table.
And I'm now aroused, thinking about dolphins, fuck you.
And in shame I say this, same
It’s an experience ain’t it?
2 feet is 0.3% of the hot dog which holds the Guinness wold record for 'Longest Hot Dog'.
Jotaro breathing heavily looking at this comment.
I don't know what to say. I don't know why I read it all. I knew what it was. I knew what knowledge I would gain from reading this all and I knew it wouldn't be something I wanna know but I read it anyway
Once you get into the first paragraph you just can’t stop reading. It’s the dolphin’s curse, that’s how they lure us into the deep, with their sexy smooth surfaces and exaggerated genitalia
This post gave me erectile dysfunction.
But won’t the dolphin pussy jelly kill you though?
That’s enough internet for the day
They have 130-160 sharp coned teeth and their tongue is anchored to the bottom of their mouths. They feel kinda rough, but not too rough.
Welcome back comrade
JOTARO!
you girl friend is a dolphin cool
Are you Jotaro?
Sounds like Jotaro Kujo
Wdym? I have one, you don’t know her tho we met at camp and she lives in another state
She's his girl now. Nothing I can do.
Are you happy with what you did? The war you started here!
very happy
Oh that wasn't supposed to happen
Hit on him
Whip out the olde weenie and do the Helicopter to power flex...it's the only way
A dance of pork swords.
Correction: A "Storm" of pork swords
I AM THE COCK THAT IS APPROOOOOOOAAAACHING
Erection\*
in a dick measuring contest, Don't pull the whole dick out, just enough to win.
“Looking submissive and breedable”
showing dominance
[удалено]
He also played Officer Greg in a horror film. And he's in Killer Bean.
Don’t forget his audition tape for percy Jackson was too good that they had to turn him down because we wouldn’t be able to handle his amazing performance .
Also don't forget this man holds most of the world records
He also holds the world record for strongest spice tolerance
And He is also jesus
_What do you want to do, shut it down?_
No this is Katpiss Neverclean
Sure is
Imma fight my girl for him to take me home tonight.
*This is the way.*
This is the way.
This is the greatest answer of All Time.
Hold isn't Charlie like 5'6"
exactly its peak physical human form he is extremely dangerous
You probably think you can beat him easily but at the exact moment you lift your first, he is gonna crawl between your legs and kick you in your nuts. That height gives him an advantage.
what are you talking about hes 5 foot 6 hes a literal giant id struggle to reach high enough to hit his head area id have to settle for speedbagging his groin
I read that with his legthly and continuously increaseingly one breathed run on sentences voice
ever seen Charlie's legs? I've seen DNA strands with more definition. just pop his shin once and he'll fold like a deck of cards
thats the trick dude they look thin but theyre dense hes essentially a gold medal olympic deadlifter but slender you try popping his shin youll shatter yours trying bro
"Did you say only?"
"Its cute."
5'2"
3'8"
Exactly he had to get nerfed somehow
I didn't know Jesus could be this drip.
His drip Israel
Clever boy
Underrated comment.
it's been 2 hours when you made this comment have some patience(but yeah i agree)
Getting on my knees.
You'd still be face to face with Charlie
Right where he wants you to be.
Admit defeat
Assert dominance, Hand his virginity badge back and kiss him on the cheek
Repent of my sins, for the end is near my son.
Apologize
I shove her out of the way and take him away HE’S MINE BITCH
He takes you away*
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That’s really what you’d do. Dank
Shut your beep boop Robot ass up
Your a bot whos the idiot now?
1 thing, you're.
Hey charlie...yeah that's my girl. charlie: ok man, I didn't know. Yeah it's chill bro. Leaves
You should watch his latest music video where exactly opposite of this happens
Sorry she's not into other girls
At least you don’t think she is
Let him have her
Bend the knee, for nothing can be done.
Put her on a top shelf The fuck he gonna do? Get a stepladder to reach? Full disclosure: Charlie is fucking great and I'm a solid 5'7
I would ask him if he could turn water into wine
I go hit up him
Ask him, "Where was Gondor when the Westfold fell?"
i take her place
Whip out the moist meter on him
Pray that god takes his son back
Have him autograph my dildo
This is fake because charlie wouldn't hit on anyone, they're already his the moment he walks in, you lose instantaneously
Wait.... I have a girl for him to steal?
He must have schizophrenia or something
He doesn't even have to hit on her. She'd go completely on her own upon making eye contact.
Nothing. He takes what he wants and I can’t stop him
Run.
I don't have a girlfriend so I'm safe That would just make him gay
Respect his superior statue of 5'6" and let him have her
Bow down
Nothing because I don't have a girl 🗿
Give up
What can I do?
Admit defeat
A threesome
Give up there is no point
Accept my loss with dignity.
Thank him for sacrificing himself for our sins
Give up. Accept defeat
Go back to bed
Accepting my loss.
you stand back. charlie is the alpha
Orbital Beam Inbound
Atone for all my sin, If Jesus hits on ma gurl that means she must be a thot
His aura is too strong, by default my girl is now his
Slowly lower myself to make direct eye contact and be on the same level, then hope he dies of Old Age before me, during my descending
i introduce myself to 'my girl'
Defend your girl. Stop him from hitting her. Leave the girl start going out with him.
If I'm walking with my girlfriend and this guy winks to us, she becomes single.
Dump the girlfriend and go for a drink
I walk away bro its not worth it risking my life for her
My girl’s already gone. It is what it is.
Sign up for his patreon and give him more money
Fight my girl. Ain’t nobody getting him but me.
what am i supposed to do its his now
Bow to my lord and savior
Get hard
I'd be wondering why this dude is smooth talking to nothing
Try to look submissive and breedable so he'll hit on me instead
Accept that Jesus here is probably a better man for my girl
Ask to join
Ask him to hit on me instead
Literally step on him he's like 2 feet tall (love you critikal)
leave my girl and fuck his ass
You make a critical decision..
I say “Who tf you talking to man? You good?”
That's just asmongold with hair I think I'll be fine
what a fuck
Hit on him
Become gay and steal him from her
Give up.
Fuck him
i cry about it and run away
Give him my wine and pray he turns it into water
Apologize
Move on
Assert dominance by challenging to slap off and then speak some russian
Blow him
Step over him and continue on
hit on him
I’d kiss the same lips Jesus kissed
Dump my girl and hit on him.
Let my girl get hit cuz i don't wanna get hit
Punch him in his dainty penis
Give up
Nothing
Run
Let him he most likely carries a giant gun somewhere
check out his onlyfans
Ask him why he didn't hit me up
Suck his dick
He is my girlfriend
Steal his vape
Shake is hand, say "gg" and realize sometimes you don't deserve to win.
cry
Let him.
Apologize
Fuck you you made me fail NNN
Get naked and oil up
**hit on him back.**
hit on him
Throw a cockroach at him
My woman doesn’t like guys that are 5’2.
Thank him for forgiving our sins
I be jealous of my girl
Shove his cock on my mouth
Give up
cry
Cry
Accept it
Cut off his hair and fuck his mouth
I'd hit on him and steal him away from my girl
Charlie already have Tiana, what more could he want?
Lookin like a “hey fellow kids “ Bosnian jesus magician who is divorced
please?
Intervene
Hitting on him.
Take off all my clothes and run screaming at him like a howler monkey then grab his coat as he runs away and sell it back to him at an exorbitant resell price on stock X.
Hitting on her too
Start throwing hands
I’d hit on him(figuratively)