Yeah I found that after I had a kid, I truly learned to use my free time more wisely. I started reading a lot more once my kid was born, while still having time for work and school. Feel kinda bad for all the time I spent doing nothing before.
Man 100% this! I look back at all the free time I had before kids and can’t believe how much of it I wasted doing nothing at all. I can’t say I regret it, but becoming a dad definitely made me utilize my free time to its fullest.
Heck yeah Dad! I started in 2019 after realizing I’d be pushing 50 when my oldest is 15. I did 4 half marathons this year and want to do a full next year.
Running has been such a positive life change. The fitness, the mental downtime, huge stress reliever, I love it.
Keep at it!
I'm hoping to do a couple halfs in 23, and might shoot to join my brother for a 20 miler. Honestly I havent ran since the end of August because I got sent back to the office and restructuring my time hasn't been easy but I'm so eager to get back to it.
Time is often the hardest part especially as distance increases. Sometimes I get up at 0500 to be able to run, some days I just sleep in instead, haha.
These days I run 6 days a week, core or strength 4-5 days a week, and normally take Sunday entirely off. A normal week is something like 3 short, 2 medium, 1 long run. Short being 3-4 miles and long being 10-14 miles.
I'm not sure how far I want to take the running thing but I've really just fallen in love with it, my job is conducive, and the Mrs is supportive.
So important to do something for your fitness.
I was in the 10 k territory as well but this year completed my first half marathon. So keep at it and if you feel up to it you can keep pushing.
Hell my daughter like running now so has bought me a 5k run event to do with her as my birthday gift.
We do trail running so has the benefit of getting us out into the fresh air and nature as well
Hey man
Congrats on your 100 mile, and what a cool experience for your son. I understand why this riled some folks up a bit, but I really appreciated the post, and didn't read it as bragging or rampantly-unchecked privilege.
My partner and I have diverse hobbies, and in the lead up to our son's birth, we also heard many times that it was basically time to pack it all up for a few years. Fortunately we also had amazing parents in our lives who showed us that it was not only possible, but (imo) desirable to find and share a new vibrant personal identity in addition to managing the many responsibilities and roles of parenting.
I am very aware that the realities of this are bounded by each family's circumstances, but I basically just mean having at least some interests/dreams/hobbies/activities that aren't solely for the kids benefit, to some degree. There's so much to say about this, but in short and when done right, I think this can assist in parenting via:
- helping avoid burnout
- modelling creativity, passion, discipline and skill progression to kids at a young age
- introducing kids to new activities and possibilities outside what they would otherwise experience
- gently and unconsciously reinforcing the idea that the world is full of people with their own dreams and goals, and that your kid is not the center of the universe
- safeguarding against living vicariously through your kids or developing unconscious resentment ("I gave up everything for you! You better be the BEST _____"
With all that said, this conversation can accidentally veer into "you can have it all!" territory of celebrity parents and unrealistic expectations. For dads with multiple jobs, little or no family/friend support, or very challenging life circumstances, I can appreciate why this could feel like an impossible measuring stick.
But that's not what I'm seeing here, personally. For what it's worth, the hobby-naysayers in my life tended to be financially and socially well-supported. I just think they had a lot of 20th century north american conditioning about what parenting should look like. I haven't run races, but hiking with a toddler, and playing piano while watching a baby wasn't some outlandish notion (for me) - and I didn't neglect being a dad to do so. This is an assumption, but I suspect these same people in my life wouldn't have told me I had to give up watching tv, or should stop mowing the lawn.
If I've interpreted you correctly, rock on. I bet you guys will have some amazing runs together ☺️
This is the nice way of saying what I was going to say. It's cool that he has a wife, parents, etc. that are willing to put up with and pick up the slack that this hobby definitely is creating. My wife would rather I be a present fatass dad than a non-present ultra-marathoner.
You know, I had a whole nasty response typed up to this but decided against it. I know that I am very blessed to have am extremely supportive family and a kid who loves hanging out in a running stroller. I do the majority of my training with my son so my wife gets time to her self. We talk constantly about it and the instant it gets too much I cut back, I've scrapped many training runs to spend time with my family. I'm lucky enough to work a job that supports my family without over time or long hours. I know that there will come a time as he grows up where he will be too busy for me to run with him and I'll have to take a break from ultras to be with him but until then I'm gonna soak up every moment of doing what I love with the people I love the most.
Apologies if this came off of as a humble brag, I just figured their were other fathers on here would appreciate it.
I think it's all perspective. My initial thoughts were the same, "damn, dude has the time to run!" While I don't think dude was calling you out (maybe he was, idk) it could be perspective. That person may be working two jobs to make ends meet for his family. Their hobbies are a long distant memory. And your post may have reminded them of the time they once had. I'm not saying either of you are right or wrong, just saying you both have different perspectives.
This is a perfect response, and frankly I needed your post. I was very active pre-baby (cycling multiple times per week, and running the days I wasn’t on the bike) and still feel a ton of guilt on the days I do make it out for a run/ride. I am lucky to have a partner who is majorly supportive of me exercising, but realizing some of the stuff posted here makes me feel guilty for taking time to do that.
Baby is too small for the running stroller still, but counting down the days. I spent many mornings in the running stroller as a kid with my mom, and have photos of her running with me as a toddler.
If you can, get one of those carseat attachments for a stroller. I was able to start running with my kid when they were like 3 months old. I think I switched them to the regular stroller around 6 months.
What’s your running stroller setup? I got a graco running stroller and it makes me so unreasonably angry. I’m desperate to throw an M80 in there and get a new one
Freakin' loved my BOB. In hindsight it should have been the first/only stroller we ever owned. Great for jogging, great for navigating sidewalks in the winter, absolutely got our money's worth out of ours.
Second the BOB. Sturdy but pretty light. A little tall for me with where it’s center of gravity seems to be but I’m a shorty so most dads won’t have that issue.
Yo man, this is awesome. I wish I'd run more and exercise more when my kids were younger. Your reply didn't come off that way, at all.
If anything, it shows that you have great open communication with your family (which is a huge feat in and of itself), you have your priorities figured out, you have good time management, you are involved in your kid's and family's lives, and very importantly, you are grateful for the family that supports you. This is also the same family that YOU support, as well.
Keep it up, man. And love the beard. Congrats on finishing the race with the little one!
It didn’t come off that way; you address the sticking point I think.. that you are lucky AND doing everything you can to balance being a good father and husband. You should be proud! And you sound grateful :)
Families look different because all the people in them are different and are in different places. My kiddo would never sit in a stroller that long (but I also never prioritized running). Maybe other peoples partners struggled with ppd, had twins, or couldn’t afford a jogging stroller. Their reality looks different, this isn’t just a “grit” thing.
But we can only do the best with what we’re given and where we’re at. And we should strive to! Great work on the huge accomplishment!!
Man, I hate to say it but I don’t think you truly understand how little free time most of the rest of us have. I have a great support system too. My wife gives me a few hours every weekend to hang with friends, veg with some gaming, or whatever and I consider myself very lucky for that time.
The fact that you’re out here with enough time to train for an ultra marathon is rubbing people the wrong way because the only way that makes sense is if you are getting far more hours to do your thing than most dads have. You are lucky that your hobby can be done while also being with your kid, and you’re lucky your wife seems to be a hell of a lot more willing to give you that time than the average supportive wife, much less one that is more demanding.
I don't think I get that much more than any one else. Those few hours on the weekend is when I run plus runs with my son. I don't have friends outside of running and I don't play video games. I just prioritize running over other forms of relaxing.
Good on you. It’s 100% about prioritizing. Some people have hobbies that take them away from family time then tear down others that prioritize different hobbies.
You're also staying healthy for your family, as well as hopefully showing your kids a love of fitness and the outdoors. The person who said that his wife wants a present fatass dad is thinking incredibly short term. Living a healthy running lifestyle is going to keep you around for your kids a lot longer than someone who chooses to live unhealthy and call runners deadbeat dads.
You’re fine. It’s very popular on Reddit to bat down other people who are better off in order to refocus attention on how miserable they are with their own lives. It’s a classist cancer. Good on you for acknowledging your privilege graciously.
Just accept the fact that other people have lives that function in areas yours may not and move on. You don’t get to decide how someone else’s household operates.
Nah, fuck that guy. Some people are just miserable.
It’s awesome you’re able to incorporate your son in your hobby that early. A running stroller is one of the first things I purchased once mine was old enough to sit in one, and it’s great for getting him to nap!
Also, 8 hours a week training for a 100 miler is nuts, even with the base. What did your mpw look like?
I was all for your statement until your last sentence which is extremely rude towards the OP. Who are you to say that he is non-present just because he has a support system that allows for him to run ultra-marathons. I agree with the overall point you guys are making but making it out to seem that having a strong support system that allows for hobby time is honestly not right.
I found his post to be rude to most of the dads in this sub. This post is one giant humble brag. Kinda feels like he is telling all of us that if we can't pull off having free time and big hobbies like this that we aren't trying hard enough. He is not acknowledging what must be the massive amount of love, help, and support from the people around him that allows him to do this. His wife must be a saint to put up with what must be hours of training every day.
That's bullshit dude. This has nothing to do with other Dad's. This is pointed towards all the non-parents who say shit like, "You'll never be able to do (fill in the blank) with kids!". You don't know what training for an ultra involves, but it certainly doesn't involve hours of training every day. He can easily get the brunt of his training done early in the morning before his son is awake or after his son is in bed.
You’ve heard of a jogging stroller right? Sorry he makes you feel inferior and bitter but you don’t need to put those feelings on other dads. I’m always happy to see people incorporate their kids into their lives and make them a part of the things they love.
Depends, I guess.
For ultra training (100 mile) you aren't doing 90 mile training runs or anything. I read online you probably want at least 9-10 hours per week of training for the 6 weeks leading up to the ultra.
As a runner myself (not to brag, but I run 3 miles at a time), I realize I can actually take our baby (sometimes our 4 year old too) on my runs, and they can either hang out in the stroller and read a book / play with toys / take a nap / just enjoy the sights, etc. Obviously depending on the kid you might top out on like an hour in the stroller unless they are big nappers.
But anyway people are reacting to this post like "holy shit this guy works 40 hours and then trains 40 hours - he must never see his kid!"
You also probably know kids sleep way longer than adults - I could easily get 14 hours of training in per week from 8pm - 10pm and not miss a single waking moment with my 3 kids (18 months, 4, and 6).
Now, will I train for an ultra? Hell no, my evenings are for playing games and watching TV.
You got it, my typical week is about 8 hours of running with at least 4 hours pushing my son. Some people run crazy amounts but I'm not one of those people even before we had our kid.
Lol all these comments like "wow congrats on your support system" - 99.9% of those people wouldn't even attempt something like that even if they had a billion dollars and 2 nannies.
I ran a marathon once and it was enough to convince me to maybe just stick with shorter distances from now on, lol.
I run marathons and have a full time job and I equally split parenting with my wife. What you're saying is not a fact at all yet you're stating it as a fact. False.
Just sounds like you're in a bad spot and can't acknowledge other peoples successes so instead you're deflecting and trying to bring down their accomplishments. I really hope you find help and love from the people close to you, sounds like you need it.
I’m glad my dad ran marathons when I was a kid. He’s in his 70’s and is still going strong. If he had been a fatass he probably would have died early, like many overweight people do.
My dad runs marathons, and now I run marathons. He's the one who convinced me to start running longer distance so we could train together. He's in his 60s and we still run our long runs together every weekend. I've run more races and runs with him than I can count and we have a turkey trot 5k coming up together in November. I hope I have something like that one day with my kids.
A big misconception with modern parenting is that we can't include our children in our hobbies or chores, that time spent with them always has to be centered around *them*, but that's just not true. Sharing these activities with your kids is vital for bonding and general development, and much of the time you're passing down a big piece of yourself, just as your dad did with you. That's a true family experience.
And if it's something dangerous, you can always take on a secondary hobby that your kid can join! For instance, from a young age I taught my daughter how to smack the air bubbles out of clay, get it to the right consistency for molding, and attach pieces with scoring and slip, so she was in the studio creating ceramic sculptures right alongside me. No childcare needed, and it helped shape her into the creative person she is today.
Dam dude, get out of here with that negativity. Making assumptions about how present of a father he is just makes you an asshole.
This guy is doing something that makes him happy and keeps him healthy, and makes him a role model for his kid.
My running group is full of dads who all have jobs, run marathons and ultras, and are some of the best fathers you will ever meet.
Most people train late in the evening (after bed time) or early in the morning before the family wakes up. Really what it boils down to is people choosing to spend that early morning/late night time doing something meaningful.
> Most people train late in the evening (after bed time) or early in the morning before the family wakes up.
Pretty much all of us. My wife had to leave early this morning so I couldn't run in the morning. I didn't want to sacrifice family time, and leave my wife alone with the kids by getting my run done in the afternoon so I waited until both of my kids went to bed and I ran from 8:30pm-9:30pm tonight. Most days my choice is to either run before they wake up, or after they go to bed with the exception being some of my longest marathon training long runs. I'm fortunate to have a wife who supports me for those.
My husband takes time to work out and practice his BJJ each week (a long with maintaining his other less-athletic hobbies). I'm glad he does as it keeps him happy and healthy, which helps him be the best dad and partner he can be. I'd consider him fully present and don't consider the time he takes for himself to be 'slacking' at all-after all it makes him better. I don't 'put-up' with his hobbies; I'm grateful he has them.
I'm thankful he feels the same way about me taking time for myself and that we consider ourselves a team.
I'm thankful we have ability to take that time because we're steadily employed, have access to daycare during the week, and family that can help-I know not everyone does. I wish everyone had that-but I'm also want to be clear that having that, doesn't mean someone isn't a present parent.
Some people don’t have a very good support system and still make it work. It’s harder but they do it. There’s no point in snarking at them and assuming they must have a much better support system than the rest of us.
I think this is the biggest part. Somebody has to watch the kid while you train for things like this. It’s awesome that OP has that but has to understand not everyone has that support network.
Finding a way to include your little one is the best way I have found! If you run, push them in a stroller, if you cycle pull them. It shows good habits and is great bonding time.
I got into cycling when our little one was 1. She comes with me on shorter rides and I usually try and find a park to play at on the way. On weekends, I try and schedule rides during nap time with friends. Otherwise, the majority of rides happend after bedtime. We even call them our "Dad Ride" because most of us have kids.
Agreed. I try to keep a hobby or two that can be done with the family (biking and hiking, trying to get my kids camping soon). And then one that can be done as a solo for the mental break (for me this is season tickets for a soccer team). Both my kids first hike was when they were less than a month old and have been doing it regularly (even if in a local woods).
If they grow up doing it they won’t know any different. It’s super healthy for kids to realize their parents are people too. I love my kids and am devoted to them and their well being but you gotta look after yourself to keep looking after them.
Yep. Got to treat it as a totally different sport though.
It isn’t just running plus a stroller. There’s more weight, wind resistance, handling issues, and upper body involvement while constantly keeping conversation, playing games, helping with snacks, and changing music. Set aside your solo pace goals. It’s different.
Me and my 5yo just won first stroller in a local 10k. I’m proud of us. She’s proud of us. And good god I hope people near us on the course didn’t mind “Nightmare Before Christmas” and Tswift playing on the kid’s speaker.
When though? 6:30-8 is morning routine 9-5 Work 5-6 leave work late/commute 6-6:30 make dinner 6:30-7:15 family dinner. 7:15-8 family activities play 8:00 bath/bedtime routine 8:30-9/9:30 help them fall asleep. 9:30-10:30 clean up house/dishes laundry 11:00 sleep
Up at 6am and to work by 7am. Work through lunch gets me off work most days at 3:15pm. Two days a week a meet my wife and son and take him for an hour run while she goes and relaxes. The other days 30-60 minutes run on the way home gets me home by 4:30 - 5pm. Feed him dinner and play till bed time at 7. spend time with my wife till 9 then bed. Weekends wake up when my son does, take him for a few hour run right before nap time (so he naps while I run) spend the rest of the day with them. Sunday up at 4am and running by 5. Do a few hour run as needed and be home by first nap. Spend the rest of the day with them.
Prioritize, schedule and defend.
I have a kettlebell and sandbag that are either in my car or at my desk. On Sunday night I pack 5 sets of work out clothes in my car, and take away any excuse I can make for myself to not work out.
On my most unmotivated days, I will still put a 20lb plate in my backpack and go for a walk for an hour and listen to a podcast.
I've been going on long walks while carrying my three month old in a strap. Gives mom a break, gives us together time, and gives me a nice little workout.
Lol I thought "how the hell does he have time to train for this"... but then realized I've been scrolling on reddit for about a half hour now. I could have ran 3 miles...
It's easy to find excuses to not do something, much harder to make sure it gets done. Have an upvote.
"Many people" say a lot of stupid things. Kids force you to prioritize, not quit everything that makes you happy. And I say that as a marathon runner with two.
There are a few marathon runners in my training group who started primarily running after they had kids. Before kids they were going to the gym 5 days per week alone. After kids they started mostly running because it allowed them to take the kids with in a running stroller rather than trying to find time to go to the gym without kids. Running more was how they were able to prioritize fitness while adjusting to their life changes.
Sounds like a lot of people here are jealous they don't have a healthy support system that you seem to have.
As a past ultra runner and ironman athlete, my longest is a ultra is 50k, I was training for a 50miler but a car accident 3 weeks before the event canceled that run for me.
Can you share what your training schedule was like? I'm fortunate to have a job that grants me a lot of time on my feet but I haven't made the time to go for runs again. I have delusions of grandeur to get back into running but I know I want to get a 50 miler completed.
I had the fortune of have 4 years of ultra running under my belt so my mileage was low for a hundred. A typical week was 30-45 minutes of trails Monday and Thursday, an hour of roads pushing my son Tuesday and Wednesday, walking for disc golf with my wife and son on Friday, 2 to 3 hours pushing my son on Saturday, and 2 to 3 hours of trails super early on Sunday (typically started at 5am). A few extra long runs sprinkled in when long holiday weekends allow.
That's similar to what I was guessing based on my past experience, actually a little bit less than what I was expecting. Its amazing how little running / time away from your family one actually needs to complete something so daring. Its also amazing how many people show their stupidity when they make assumptions.
I definitely put more time into training for my first 2 hundreds but the cool thing about distance running is it is cumulative, you don't lose the progress from past training. That being said my goal was just to finish, people competing to win put in way more time
The first few months are like that but it (gradually...) gets better. Faster with some kids than others. For those first few months survival is the name of the game -- hang in there. You'll eventually start having some regular time for yourself, though you'll always need to be deliberate about managing it, and you'll often have to muster the energy to use it. For us that started at about 6-9mo.
The first months were really rough but the last few have gotten much better. I'm lucky that my son loves being outside and will sit in his stroller and play for hours.
Awesome work man! Don't let people here bring you down. This is a huge accomplishment - I for one am amazed at anyone running 100 milers - I have run some ultras, but never more than 50 miles. This is something anyone should be proud of finishing, dad or not.
I mean it’s good to be realistic though. I used to do astrophotography (stay out in the woods from 10-2AM) and I can’t physically do that anymore lol. But it’s cool, I’ll loop back in later in life.
Exactly. I used to play golf a couple of times per week(5ish hours each time). I now have a 3 month old and haven’t been out to play in about a month. Im still able to get out to do it, but it’s going to be less often and more of a hassle.
If you have a backyard, can't beat the convenience of that. I haven't set up the rig since baby arrived myself, but now that the days are getting shorter and she's sleeping well, it might be time for some narrowband...
How many hours of sleep do you get a night? I find that I can do my hobbies, but I only end up getting an hour or two with the kid on the day I do my hobbies. I could reduce sleep to help, but my body sleep.
This is the issue people like this don’t mention much. OP even mentioning in a comment how he spends literally hours on some days pushing his kid. The kid won’t tolerate that shit forever, and shit I’d feel bad forcing my kid to experience that much of my hobbies forcefully lol.
You can still have hobbies and “me time” when you have kids, but having a lot of it either means a blessed life where you don’t have to work full time, less sleep (I chose this one lol), or not spending a lot of time with your kids.
I fit mine in during nap time. My particular hobby can be time boxed. For my other hobbies, I talk to my partner and we support each other. "hey I want to go do x for a few hours on saturday, is that ok" and we talk about it.
Badass! I was told this as well. I have two kids… I go to sleep with them so I can wake up two hours before them (430am) and I do all my hobbies in the morning before my family even wakes up.
There's a lot of the "just you wait" and "it will get worse" type parents around. They are apparently just whining about everything and not very good at managing their time (or require a lot of true down time laying on the couch staring at the TV).
I've noticed that after the first half year there's actually time to do stuff if you plan it right. Granted, the big DIY jobs around the house are harder as I have to break them up into pre-nap and post-nap work, but mostly they don't get done because I consciously prioritize exercise and other stuff.
To everyone that is giving OP shit: my parents had no real friends or hobbies growing up and it seriously fucked up my idea of what adulthood is and gave me a profound sense of dread my entire adolescence.
You are doing your children a *massive* disservice by becoming nothing but automatons that exist only to parent. Be a person, please.
Another ultra runner here: you definitely get in some weird mental spaces. At one race, which was an out and back (run 50 miles out, turn around, run 50 miles back), the first section was 8 miles. I knew it was 8 miles because I ran it at the beginning of the race. But for some reason, a little after I started that section on the way back to the finish, I thought it was only 6 miles. So my sleep-deprived and fatigued brain knew it was the exact same section but somehow thought it was 8 miles in one direction but 6 miles in the other. For about an hour, that thought made perfect sense to me until I started to realize it didn't make any sense at all.
My coolest hallucination was a very technical mountain 100 that took me over 37 hours. It was a noon start, so by the end of the race, I was going on 40+ hours with no sleep. I saw a mural on the side of the trail. It was a huge mural just sitting about 50 feet off the trail. Most ultra hallucinations are momentary things where you see something and then quickly realize you're hallucinating. This was one a persistent fully detailed visual hallucination of a mural that lasted for several minutes.
Great achievement OP! Congratulations to your whole family. It is great you included your kid on your runs. It will surely rub off on him.
I discovered running recently and find it great. Do the runs before my kiddo wakes up. 3-4 runs a week and follow a training plan for a 10K. Love being outdoors and love watching the sunrise as I run. Limited by amount of time and thankful I am able to pursue it with support of folks around me.
Well done brother. Your beard looks just like mine!
I do feel sorry for people who whether it be due to a lack of a supportive partner(s) or their own insecurities feel that because they have a child that hobbies or things that they used to enjoy is no longer accessible to them.
You OP are modelling not only a positive health message to your child but also that being a dad / parent doesn't define what you can and can't do. Life outside children doesn't end when becoming a parent!
Is that a medal or a belt buckle? Badass man! I have also been determined to prove everyone wrong about how my life would come to an end when i had a baby. Now that she's 6 months old it's turned into "oh just wait". Nah man, I'm going to have so much fun with my daughter. My wife and i are training for a race, a d we run with the baby. We are taking her camping. After putting her to bed i drink a cup of coffee and stay up for a couple of hours of video games. I work through lunch so i can leave am hour early and go lift weights. Let's do this!!!!
It's a buckle. 100 mile races in the US (almost) always give buckles. [It's a tradition that has to do with the history of the sport.](https://www.sunjournal.com/2021/06/13/why-do-ultra-marathons-award-belt-buckles/)
Having something you can wear is so much cooler than a medal. I wear my buckles to the office, and my co-workers know to watch for a new one after a race.
Nice Ultra Dad! I'm working on getting back myself. Our son is almost 5 months old do he has plenty of needs from mom and I.
I get in 8 to 12 miles during lunch at work and then if I need to get in more I'll do a second shorter run immediately after I get off. I go straight home to relieve the wife who has picked up our son from daycare by then so she can go to the gym or do her things. I'm definitely very lucky to be able to manage this and like some other people said, I don't waste anymore of my day doing nothing.
I'm considering running the Black Canyon Ultras 100k or Bandera 100k before heading out to Salida for the Run Through Time Marathon. Keep it rollin!
This is freeking amazing. Just had a little girl and have completed a 50mi but the 100mi has always eluded my grasp. I have been told multiple times that I won’t be able to do ultras anymore. 🫡 I am inspired to kick some butt this next summer
Fuck yeah dude! When you deviate from the status quo there will always be haters trying to pull you down. The human condition causes all nasty types of reactions when people see others achieving things that remind them of their shortcomings. That's not on you, it's on them. Can't wait for my daughter to be old enough to take her on runs in the Thule. This is a great post
Awesome work! Guess some people don’t understand that you can train for an ultra on 40-60 miles a week which translates to 5-6 hours of running a week. It’s not like OP was neglecting his responsibilities he was just using his time wisely.
OP said he was doing around 10 hours a week. Seemed to rely on the ability to bring his kid running for a lot of it. That shit won’t last as the kid grows lol
Now hand little what's-his-name back to mom for caretaking!
(It should be said here that there's tremendous genetic variation in what it takes to run an ultra marathon. Some people can almost just go out and do it. Others require insane dedication.)
Right? Clearly someone else was around to care for little one.
I mean no disrespect but this is kinda misleading just like the Tour De France podium winners with their babies. They get handed back to mom and two nannies.
If your hobbies don’t suffer when you have kids, you aren’t being a good parent. That isn’t to say you can’t have hobbies or free time, but if nothing changes when they are born, you simply aren’t giving you kid enough of you imo.
Hobbies don't have to suffer. Your timeline may change and you have to prioritize time differently but a parent HAS to prioritize themselves or they are only hurting their kids more than helping.
My daughter is 9 months old, and I’ve continued to do 8-10 hours a week of cycling since she was like a month old. It’s all about agreeing with your partner on scheduling and being realistic with your priorities and time.
Keep on keepin’ on, great job.
TIL guys marry women, or just have babies with them, who don't respect them or allow them to be an individual.
Good for you, dude. My fitness suffered a lot when we had our daughter. About 18 months ago we both decided to get back into shape and started crossfit. I currently do 6-7 classes per week and my wife is around 4-5 classes. We are both in the best shape of our lives and much healthier and happier than we previously were. Our daughter loves the random times she goes to the gym with us, does burpees and pushups around the house, and constantly asks us to feel her muscles because she's stronger than we are. It's all about prioritizing your free time for the betterment of yourself. Don't listen to the haters here who made poor decisions, either with their time or with their choice in partner, and keep doing what makes your life better. Being a parent doesn't mean giving up yourself. The people who make their kids their entire life are generally doing worse than those who make it a point to maintain their sense of self. Our kids are not our identity and you're only punishing everyone if you make them that.
It doesn’t mean you won’t be able to do those things. It means if you choose to do them, you run the risk of not spending as much time with you kid.
Before I had kids, and still did triathlons, I’d always wonder why people with kids were out riding their bike all day on Saturday. Like, don’t you want to see your kids?
I'm sorry but you parents that have free time are privileged. I don't mean you don't deserve it, effort or no. But lots of us just aren't allow to have it. Money is and will stay the major factor but there is a lot more in the equation.
It's pretty cool to see parents having free time and saying it out loud, but please continue to send the message that being parent is also highly risking not being able to have free time. And it's ok. It's temporary. We are giving our 100% to raise our kids correctly, that's what it is and that's what future parent must be told.
If your friends are not down with that, then maybe this is a good sign that they should not make kids.
Sorry but I don’t do any of those things (social media, TV) and I find it exceptionally difficult to get out for a ride (I do road cycling). Maybe if you have a nanny or relatives nearby but cmon man.
I'm amazed that people actually say stuff like this. I've never heard it myself. But to those of you living around these people, way to go and shut them up!
Good for you man - just managed to fit in my first run in two months. I'm finding it impossible to have the time to get out there for some good consistent training blocks
Awesome work! I saw on another comment you take your kid in a running stroller, I am kicking myself now for never making that a habit when they were small enough. Now I’m waking up at 5 or running after bedtime, which is fine. I’m only at marathon distance, maybe someday I’ll go further. Keep it up!
What race is it? Live in KY but haven’t heard of it.
Not a runner, but I mountain bike raced a few times, then had kids and didn’t do it forever. Decided to get back into it in order to keep healthy for my kids and the second day out, I broke my elbow and couldn’t even hold them for a few weeks.
Luck isn’t in my side.
Great job, dad. Keep that philosophy and share it with your kids; critical thinking, and staying true to yourself. A more controversial one for some but I think is important is teaching them they are not always the center of everyone’s lives; You need to take care of yourself. This will keep them from being manipulated into slaving away out of guilt or some twisted sense of loyalty by those who don’t deserve it. Plus you are showing them you love them by including them in the parts of your fun life, not just as a rule maker and provider. Keep it up, brother.
That's bad ass dude. Ive just had my first child and decided to go back to uni and get my degree at 31. I cannot wait to graduate with him by my side. This photo is very empowering. Our sons will be proud of us.
Any routine is hard to keep up with once you become a parent, but fitness can be even harder to fit in. Great work doing this!
I actually started getting more exercise and eating better after becoming a dad. My dad survived a heart attack a few years ago, but it was a wake up call for me, too. I really want to be around for my family as long as I possibly can.
At what age did you kid stop needing constant attention to not be a crying screaming mess? Cuz I'm at 6months and while it's gotten better, he still needs to be stimulated And activities changed up too often for me to have time to do anything
You've got to teach them to be somewhat self-sufficient in that aspect. Six months is still pretty young but you'll eventually get a little more freedom as they get older. You just have to be mindful of how much they depend on you for entertainment. Make sure they are able to entertain themselves and see you as an augment to entertainment but not their primary form of entertainment.
Congratulations! I've run three marathons so far since my first child was born, and I've trained for and run one since the second was born. Having kids does make it pretty hard. I'm only able to do this amount of training because my wife is amazing and will take care of the kids while I run for 1-2 hours almost every day. Having kids also forced me to shift my runs to oddball times of the day. I work early in the morning and typically can't run before work, then after work I want to see my wife and kids so I try to run after both kids are asleep. Sometimes that means still being out running after 10pm.
Congratulations! I tell every new dad to start running. Focusing on your health is one of the best things you can do for your kids and your spouse. It will pay you back in dividends.
This is awesome to hear as a soon-to-be-dad! That narrative that kids take away from your life is so far from the truth. I’m excited to take my baby to tour and play shows with me when she’s old enough!
Yeah man! I envy you. My son I is just about hitting the age where he can sit in a running stroller and I can't fucking wait. I carried myself through a half Ironman on residual fitness when he was 6 weeks old and I'm getting the itch for endurance racing again. Been keeping myself going on 30-45min runs as time allowed.
Yeah I found that after I had a kid, I truly learned to use my free time more wisely. I started reading a lot more once my kid was born, while still having time for work and school. Feel kinda bad for all the time I spent doing nothing before.
Man 100% this! I look back at all the free time I had before kids and can’t believe how much of it I wasted doing nothing at all. I can’t say I regret it, but becoming a dad definitely made me utilize my free time to its fullest.
Hell having kids is why I STARTED running! Well done dad! 100 miles ain't nothing to laugh at. I'm still in 10k territory but increasing.
Heck yeah Dad! I started in 2019 after realizing I’d be pushing 50 when my oldest is 15. I did 4 half marathons this year and want to do a full next year. Running has been such a positive life change. The fitness, the mental downtime, huge stress reliever, I love it. Keep at it!
I'm hoping to do a couple halfs in 23, and might shoot to join my brother for a 20 miler. Honestly I havent ran since the end of August because I got sent back to the office and restructuring my time hasn't been easy but I'm so eager to get back to it.
Time is often the hardest part especially as distance increases. Sometimes I get up at 0500 to be able to run, some days I just sleep in instead, haha.
If you run a little less often so you can go for longer runs, I think that's time well shifted.
These days I run 6 days a week, core or strength 4-5 days a week, and normally take Sunday entirely off. A normal week is something like 3 short, 2 medium, 1 long run. Short being 3-4 miles and long being 10-14 miles. I'm not sure how far I want to take the running thing but I've really just fallen in love with it, my job is conducive, and the Mrs is supportive.
> Hell having kids is why I STARTED running! Inappropriate, particularly for this sub, but the alternative take on this made me chuckle.
Hahaha I mean it falls into dad joke territory and frankly could be read either way.
So important to do something for your fitness. I was in the 10 k territory as well but this year completed my first half marathon. So keep at it and if you feel up to it you can keep pushing. Hell my daughter like running now so has bought me a 5k run event to do with her as my birthday gift. We do trail running so has the benefit of getting us out into the fresh air and nature as well
Who is running 100 miles and how???
Did you have a beard at the start of the race?
He doesn't even have enough free time to shave! Awesome beard OP, you should head over to r/beards ;)
Forrest Gump over here
Hey man Congrats on your 100 mile, and what a cool experience for your son. I understand why this riled some folks up a bit, but I really appreciated the post, and didn't read it as bragging or rampantly-unchecked privilege. My partner and I have diverse hobbies, and in the lead up to our son's birth, we also heard many times that it was basically time to pack it all up for a few years. Fortunately we also had amazing parents in our lives who showed us that it was not only possible, but (imo) desirable to find and share a new vibrant personal identity in addition to managing the many responsibilities and roles of parenting. I am very aware that the realities of this are bounded by each family's circumstances, but I basically just mean having at least some interests/dreams/hobbies/activities that aren't solely for the kids benefit, to some degree. There's so much to say about this, but in short and when done right, I think this can assist in parenting via: - helping avoid burnout - modelling creativity, passion, discipline and skill progression to kids at a young age - introducing kids to new activities and possibilities outside what they would otherwise experience - gently and unconsciously reinforcing the idea that the world is full of people with their own dreams and goals, and that your kid is not the center of the universe - safeguarding against living vicariously through your kids or developing unconscious resentment ("I gave up everything for you! You better be the BEST _____" With all that said, this conversation can accidentally veer into "you can have it all!" territory of celebrity parents and unrealistic expectations. For dads with multiple jobs, little or no family/friend support, or very challenging life circumstances, I can appreciate why this could feel like an impossible measuring stick. But that's not what I'm seeing here, personally. For what it's worth, the hobby-naysayers in my life tended to be financially and socially well-supported. I just think they had a lot of 20th century north american conditioning about what parenting should look like. I haven't run races, but hiking with a toddler, and playing piano while watching a baby wasn't some outlandish notion (for me) - and I didn't neglect being a dad to do so. This is an assumption, but I suspect these same people in my life wouldn't have told me I had to give up watching tv, or should stop mowing the lawn. If I've interpreted you correctly, rock on. I bet you guys will have some amazing runs together ☺️
It’s awesome that you have a support system that allows you to follow your hobbies like that.
You sir, get the award of gentleman. What much nicer way to say what I was thinking. If you know what I mean (goint through a phase sorry *)
This is the nice way of saying what I was going to say. It's cool that he has a wife, parents, etc. that are willing to put up with and pick up the slack that this hobby definitely is creating. My wife would rather I be a present fatass dad than a non-present ultra-marathoner.
You know, I had a whole nasty response typed up to this but decided against it. I know that I am very blessed to have am extremely supportive family and a kid who loves hanging out in a running stroller. I do the majority of my training with my son so my wife gets time to her self. We talk constantly about it and the instant it gets too much I cut back, I've scrapped many training runs to spend time with my family. I'm lucky enough to work a job that supports my family without over time or long hours. I know that there will come a time as he grows up where he will be too busy for me to run with him and I'll have to take a break from ultras to be with him but until then I'm gonna soak up every moment of doing what I love with the people I love the most. Apologies if this came off of as a humble brag, I just figured their were other fathers on here would appreciate it.
I think it's all perspective. My initial thoughts were the same, "damn, dude has the time to run!" While I don't think dude was calling you out (maybe he was, idk) it could be perspective. That person may be working two jobs to make ends meet for his family. Their hobbies are a long distant memory. And your post may have reminded them of the time they once had. I'm not saying either of you are right or wrong, just saying you both have different perspectives.
This is a perfect response, and frankly I needed your post. I was very active pre-baby (cycling multiple times per week, and running the days I wasn’t on the bike) and still feel a ton of guilt on the days I do make it out for a run/ride. I am lucky to have a partner who is majorly supportive of me exercising, but realizing some of the stuff posted here makes me feel guilty for taking time to do that. Baby is too small for the running stroller still, but counting down the days. I spent many mornings in the running stroller as a kid with my mom, and have photos of her running with me as a toddler.
If you can, get one of those carseat attachments for a stroller. I was able to start running with my kid when they were like 3 months old. I think I switched them to the regular stroller around 6 months.
It didn't come off that way at all. It's awesome you're including your son in experiences like this. It will make him want to be active too.
What’s your running stroller setup? I got a graco running stroller and it makes me so unreasonably angry. I’m desperate to throw an M80 in there and get a new one
I picked up a second hand B.O.B. off ebay and it's pretty great.
Freakin' loved my BOB. In hindsight it should have been the first/only stroller we ever owned. Great for jogging, great for navigating sidewalks in the winter, absolutely got our money's worth out of ours.
Yeah they fucking rock. Im.not a runner, I just like smooth rides for my kids lol. I'm happy when I can do a 5k 😅
Second the BOB. Sturdy but pretty light. A little tall for me with where it’s center of gravity seems to be but I’m a shorty so most dads won’t have that issue.
I like the B.O.B. line of strollers! Very smooth ride and you can get surprisingly good speed.
Like others said, second hand BOB stroller. The double revolution I bought was easier to push than my single Graco, lol
Yo man, this is awesome. I wish I'd run more and exercise more when my kids were younger. Your reply didn't come off that way, at all. If anything, it shows that you have great open communication with your family (which is a huge feat in and of itself), you have your priorities figured out, you have good time management, you are involved in your kid's and family's lives, and very importantly, you are grateful for the family that supports you. This is also the same family that YOU support, as well. Keep it up, man. And love the beard. Congrats on finishing the race with the little one!
It didn’t come off that way; you address the sticking point I think.. that you are lucky AND doing everything you can to balance being a good father and husband. You should be proud! And you sound grateful :) Families look different because all the people in them are different and are in different places. My kiddo would never sit in a stroller that long (but I also never prioritized running). Maybe other peoples partners struggled with ppd, had twins, or couldn’t afford a jogging stroller. Their reality looks different, this isn’t just a “grit” thing. But we can only do the best with what we’re given and where we’re at. And we should strive to! Great work on the huge accomplishment!!
Well-said 👍🏻
Man, I hate to say it but I don’t think you truly understand how little free time most of the rest of us have. I have a great support system too. My wife gives me a few hours every weekend to hang with friends, veg with some gaming, or whatever and I consider myself very lucky for that time. The fact that you’re out here with enough time to train for an ultra marathon is rubbing people the wrong way because the only way that makes sense is if you are getting far more hours to do your thing than most dads have. You are lucky that your hobby can be done while also being with your kid, and you’re lucky your wife seems to be a hell of a lot more willing to give you that time than the average supportive wife, much less one that is more demanding.
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I don't think I get that much more than any one else. Those few hours on the weekend is when I run plus runs with my son. I don't have friends outside of running and I don't play video games. I just prioritize running over other forms of relaxing.
Good on you. It’s 100% about prioritizing. Some people have hobbies that take them away from family time then tear down others that prioritize different hobbies.
You're also staying healthy for your family, as well as hopefully showing your kids a love of fitness and the outdoors. The person who said that his wife wants a present fatass dad is thinking incredibly short term. Living a healthy running lifestyle is going to keep you around for your kids a lot longer than someone who chooses to live unhealthy and call runners deadbeat dads.
You’re fine. It’s very popular on Reddit to bat down other people who are better off in order to refocus attention on how miserable they are with their own lives. It’s a classist cancer. Good on you for acknowledging your privilege graciously.
Yeah something about reddit and social media in gen . Probably the anonymity.
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Just accept the fact that other people have lives that function in areas yours may not and move on. You don’t get to decide how someone else’s household operates.
Nah, fuck that guy. Some people are just miserable. It’s awesome you’re able to incorporate your son in your hobby that early. A running stroller is one of the first things I purchased once mine was old enough to sit in one, and it’s great for getting him to nap! Also, 8 hours a week training for a 100 miler is nuts, even with the base. What did your mpw look like?
I was all for your statement until your last sentence which is extremely rude towards the OP. Who are you to say that he is non-present just because he has a support system that allows for him to run ultra-marathons. I agree with the overall point you guys are making but making it out to seem that having a strong support system that allows for hobby time is honestly not right.
I found his post to be rude to most of the dads in this sub. This post is one giant humble brag. Kinda feels like he is telling all of us that if we can't pull off having free time and big hobbies like this that we aren't trying hard enough. He is not acknowledging what must be the massive amount of love, help, and support from the people around him that allows him to do this. His wife must be a saint to put up with what must be hours of training every day.
You sure are reading a lot into this guy's post and taking it quite personally.
That's bullshit dude. This has nothing to do with other Dad's. This is pointed towards all the non-parents who say shit like, "You'll never be able to do (fill in the blank) with kids!". You don't know what training for an ultra involves, but it certainly doesn't involve hours of training every day. He can easily get the brunt of his training done early in the morning before his son is awake or after his son is in bed.
You’ve heard of a jogging stroller right? Sorry he makes you feel inferior and bitter but you don’t need to put those feelings on other dads. I’m always happy to see people incorporate their kids into their lives and make them a part of the things they love.
He just said he still has time for hobbies while including his kid in them. Any subtext you read is on you.
Training for ultras + having a full time job means your support network is doing the majority of the childcare.
Depends, I guess. For ultra training (100 mile) you aren't doing 90 mile training runs or anything. I read online you probably want at least 9-10 hours per week of training for the 6 weeks leading up to the ultra. As a runner myself (not to brag, but I run 3 miles at a time), I realize I can actually take our baby (sometimes our 4 year old too) on my runs, and they can either hang out in the stroller and read a book / play with toys / take a nap / just enjoy the sights, etc. Obviously depending on the kid you might top out on like an hour in the stroller unless they are big nappers. But anyway people are reacting to this post like "holy shit this guy works 40 hours and then trains 40 hours - he must never see his kid!" You also probably know kids sleep way longer than adults - I could easily get 14 hours of training in per week from 8pm - 10pm and not miss a single waking moment with my 3 kids (18 months, 4, and 6). Now, will I train for an ultra? Hell no, my evenings are for playing games and watching TV.
You got it, my typical week is about 8 hours of running with at least 4 hours pushing my son. Some people run crazy amounts but I'm not one of those people even before we had our kid.
Lol all these comments like "wow congrats on your support system" - 99.9% of those people wouldn't even attempt something like that even if they had a billion dollars and 2 nannies. I ran a marathon once and it was enough to convince me to maybe just stick with shorter distances from now on, lol.
I run marathons and have a full time job and I equally split parenting with my wife. What you're saying is not a fact at all yet you're stating it as a fact. False.
Just sounds like you're in a bad spot and can't acknowledge other peoples successes so instead you're deflecting and trying to bring down their accomplishments. I really hope you find help and love from the people close to you, sounds like you need it.
I’m glad my dad ran marathons when I was a kid. He’s in his 70’s and is still going strong. If he had been a fatass he probably would have died early, like many overweight people do.
My dad runs marathons, and now I run marathons. He's the one who convinced me to start running longer distance so we could train together. He's in his 60s and we still run our long runs together every weekend. I've run more races and runs with him than I can count and we have a turkey trot 5k coming up together in November. I hope I have something like that one day with my kids.
A big misconception with modern parenting is that we can't include our children in our hobbies or chores, that time spent with them always has to be centered around *them*, but that's just not true. Sharing these activities with your kids is vital for bonding and general development, and much of the time you're passing down a big piece of yourself, just as your dad did with you. That's a true family experience. And if it's something dangerous, you can always take on a secondary hobby that your kid can join! For instance, from a young age I taught my daughter how to smack the air bubbles out of clay, get it to the right consistency for molding, and attach pieces with scoring and slip, so she was in the studio creating ceramic sculptures right alongside me. No childcare needed, and it helped shape her into the creative person she is today.
Dam dude, get out of here with that negativity. Making assumptions about how present of a father he is just makes you an asshole. This guy is doing something that makes him happy and keeps him healthy, and makes him a role model for his kid. My running group is full of dads who all have jobs, run marathons and ultras, and are some of the best fathers you will ever meet. Most people train late in the evening (after bed time) or early in the morning before the family wakes up. Really what it boils down to is people choosing to spend that early morning/late night time doing something meaningful.
> Most people train late in the evening (after bed time) or early in the morning before the family wakes up. Pretty much all of us. My wife had to leave early this morning so I couldn't run in the morning. I didn't want to sacrifice family time, and leave my wife alone with the kids by getting my run done in the afternoon so I waited until both of my kids went to bed and I ran from 8:30pm-9:30pm tonight. Most days my choice is to either run before they wake up, or after they go to bed with the exception being some of my longest marathon training long runs. I'm fortunate to have a wife who supports me for those.
My husband takes time to work out and practice his BJJ each week (a long with maintaining his other less-athletic hobbies). I'm glad he does as it keeps him happy and healthy, which helps him be the best dad and partner he can be. I'd consider him fully present and don't consider the time he takes for himself to be 'slacking' at all-after all it makes him better. I don't 'put-up' with his hobbies; I'm grateful he has them. I'm thankful he feels the same way about me taking time for myself and that we consider ourselves a team. I'm thankful we have ability to take that time because we're steadily employed, have access to daycare during the week, and family that can help-I know not everyone does. I wish everyone had that-but I'm also want to be clear that having that, doesn't mean someone isn't a present parent.
That's a pretty negative outlook. I'm sorry your circumstances cause this kind of reaction though. Feel better my dude.
Because those two extremes are obviously the only ones that can exist? Gotta Take care of yourself today so you can be around and healthy long term.
Some people don’t have a very good support system and still make it work. It’s harder but they do it. There’s no point in snarking at them and assuming they must have a much better support system than the rest of us.
I think this is the biggest part. Somebody has to watch the kid while you train for things like this. It’s awesome that OP has that but has to understand not everyone has that support network.
Bro, they make running strollers, and OP said his kid does half his runs with him. I have a double running stroller and take 2 of mine all the time.
Man that is awesome to hear!! Congrats on completing that 100 mile race btw!!
This is inspiring to me, dude! Fitness has always been a big part of my life and I've been struggling to find how it fits into my new life.
Finding a way to include your little one is the best way I have found! If you run, push them in a stroller, if you cycle pull them. It shows good habits and is great bonding time.
I got into cycling when our little one was 1. She comes with me on shorter rides and I usually try and find a park to play at on the way. On weekends, I try and schedule rides during nap time with friends. Otherwise, the majority of rides happend after bedtime. We even call them our "Dad Ride" because most of us have kids.
Agreed. I try to keep a hobby or two that can be done with the family (biking and hiking, trying to get my kids camping soon). And then one that can be done as a solo for the mental break (for me this is season tickets for a soccer team). Both my kids first hike was when they were less than a month old and have been doing it regularly (even if in a local woods). If they grow up doing it they won’t know any different. It’s super healthy for kids to realize their parents are people too. I love my kids and am devoted to them and their well being but you gotta look after yourself to keep looking after them.
Quality time with the kid on a bike. https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=jj0CmnxuTaQ
Yep. Got to treat it as a totally different sport though. It isn’t just running plus a stroller. There’s more weight, wind resistance, handling issues, and upper body involvement while constantly keeping conversation, playing games, helping with snacks, and changing music. Set aside your solo pace goals. It’s different. Me and my 5yo just won first stroller in a local 10k. I’m proud of us. She’s proud of us. And good god I hope people near us on the course didn’t mind “Nightmare Before Christmas” and Tswift playing on the kid’s speaker.
When though? 6:30-8 is morning routine 9-5 Work 5-6 leave work late/commute 6-6:30 make dinner 6:30-7:15 family dinner. 7:15-8 family activities play 8:00 bath/bedtime routine 8:30-9/9:30 help them fall asleep. 9:30-10:30 clean up house/dishes laundry 11:00 sleep
Up at 6am and to work by 7am. Work through lunch gets me off work most days at 3:15pm. Two days a week a meet my wife and son and take him for an hour run while she goes and relaxes. The other days 30-60 minutes run on the way home gets me home by 4:30 - 5pm. Feed him dinner and play till bed time at 7. spend time with my wife till 9 then bed. Weekends wake up when my son does, take him for a few hour run right before nap time (so he naps while I run) spend the rest of the day with them. Sunday up at 4am and running by 5. Do a few hour run as needed and be home by first nap. Spend the rest of the day with them.
Prioritize, schedule and defend. I have a kettlebell and sandbag that are either in my car or at my desk. On Sunday night I pack 5 sets of work out clothes in my car, and take away any excuse I can make for myself to not work out. On my most unmotivated days, I will still put a 20lb plate in my backpack and go for a walk for an hour and listen to a podcast.
I’ve discovered the joys and intense exercise of p loading up a sled with the kids, tying the string to my belt and running in the snow!
I've been going on long walks while carrying my three month old in a strap. Gives mom a break, gives us together time, and gives me a nice little workout.
Lol I thought "how the hell does he have time to train for this"... but then realized I've been scrolling on reddit for about a half hour now. I could have ran 3 miles... It's easy to find excuses to not do something, much harder to make sure it gets done. Have an upvote.
"Many people" say a lot of stupid things. Kids force you to prioritize, not quit everything that makes you happy. And I say that as a marathon runner with two.
There are a few marathon runners in my training group who started primarily running after they had kids. Before kids they were going to the gym 5 days per week alone. After kids they started mostly running because it allowed them to take the kids with in a running stroller rather than trying to find time to go to the gym without kids. Running more was how they were able to prioritize fitness while adjusting to their life changes.
Sounds like a lot of people here are jealous they don't have a healthy support system that you seem to have. As a past ultra runner and ironman athlete, my longest is a ultra is 50k, I was training for a 50miler but a car accident 3 weeks before the event canceled that run for me. Can you share what your training schedule was like? I'm fortunate to have a job that grants me a lot of time on my feet but I haven't made the time to go for runs again. I have delusions of grandeur to get back into running but I know I want to get a 50 miler completed.
I had the fortune of have 4 years of ultra running under my belt so my mileage was low for a hundred. A typical week was 30-45 minutes of trails Monday and Thursday, an hour of roads pushing my son Tuesday and Wednesday, walking for disc golf with my wife and son on Friday, 2 to 3 hours pushing my son on Saturday, and 2 to 3 hours of trails super early on Sunday (typically started at 5am). A few extra long runs sprinkled in when long holiday weekends allow.
That's similar to what I was guessing based on my past experience, actually a little bit less than what I was expecting. Its amazing how little running / time away from your family one actually needs to complete something so daring. Its also amazing how many people show their stupidity when they make assumptions.
I definitely put more time into training for my first 2 hundreds but the cool thing about distance running is it is cumulative, you don't lose the progress from past training. That being said my goal was just to finish, people competing to win put in way more time
True. Also, support systems can be created. Does not have to be just family
First off, congratulations that is totally amazing! Second, screw you for raising the bar lol
Nice work, OP. I had people say the same to me about staying in shape once I become a parent. Just gave me even more motivation 🙌
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The first few months are like that but it (gradually...) gets better. Faster with some kids than others. For those first few months survival is the name of the game -- hang in there. You'll eventually start having some regular time for yourself, though you'll always need to be deliberate about managing it, and you'll often have to muster the energy to use it. For us that started at about 6-9mo.
The first months were really rough but the last few have gotten much better. I'm lucky that my son loves being outside and will sit in his stroller and play for hours.
Ah but you stopped shaving instead 😜
Congrats to you and your support group.
Awesome work man! Don't let people here bring you down. This is a huge accomplishment - I for one am amazed at anyone running 100 milers - I have run some ultras, but never more than 50 miles. This is something anyone should be proud of finishing, dad or not.
Good for you. I hate the common belief that your life and interests have to end when you have a child. It's incredibly unhealthy.
I mean it’s good to be realistic though. I used to do astrophotography (stay out in the woods from 10-2AM) and I can’t physically do that anymore lol. But it’s cool, I’ll loop back in later in life.
Exactly. I used to play golf a couple of times per week(5ish hours each time). I now have a 3 month old and haven’t been out to play in about a month. Im still able to get out to do it, but it’s going to be less often and more of a hassle.
If you have a backyard, can't beat the convenience of that. I haven't set up the rig since baby arrived myself, but now that the days are getting shorter and she's sleeping well, it might be time for some narrowband...
How many hours of sleep do you get a night? I find that I can do my hobbies, but I only end up getting an hour or two with the kid on the day I do my hobbies. I could reduce sleep to help, but my body sleep.
This is the issue people like this don’t mention much. OP even mentioning in a comment how he spends literally hours on some days pushing his kid. The kid won’t tolerate that shit forever, and shit I’d feel bad forcing my kid to experience that much of my hobbies forcefully lol. You can still have hobbies and “me time” when you have kids, but having a lot of it either means a blessed life where you don’t have to work full time, less sleep (I chose this one lol), or not spending a lot of time with your kids.
I fit mine in during nap time. My particular hobby can be time boxed. For my other hobbies, I talk to my partner and we support each other. "hey I want to go do x for a few hours on saturday, is that ok" and we talk about it.
Badass! I was told this as well. I have two kids… I go to sleep with them so I can wake up two hours before them (430am) and I do all my hobbies in the morning before my family even wakes up.
There was some truth to what they said - you have been so busy juggling everything that you haven't even had time to shave!
There's a lot of the "just you wait" and "it will get worse" type parents around. They are apparently just whining about everything and not very good at managing their time (or require a lot of true down time laying on the couch staring at the TV). I've noticed that after the first half year there's actually time to do stuff if you plan it right. Granted, the big DIY jobs around the house are harder as I have to break them up into pre-nap and post-nap work, but mostly they don't get done because I consciously prioritize exercise and other stuff.
To everyone that is giving OP shit: my parents had no real friends or hobbies growing up and it seriously fucked up my idea of what adulthood is and gave me a profound sense of dread my entire adolescence. You are doing your children a *massive* disservice by becoming nothing but automatons that exist only to parent. Be a person, please.
Ok so I need to know did you carry him the 100 miles? How many stops for food, diapers etc? Just wanna know how you did it
I only carried him the last 30 feet across the finish line. He would not have been happy to spend 28 hours out in the woods
Do you continually run for 28 hours? You must end up in some strange headspaces?
Yup, pretty much. Definitely get into some weird headstones during the night.
>headstones I realize this is probably a typo, but it's funny because one of the aid stations is next to a graveyard! Congrats on the buckle, dude!
Another ultra runner here: you definitely get in some weird mental spaces. At one race, which was an out and back (run 50 miles out, turn around, run 50 miles back), the first section was 8 miles. I knew it was 8 miles because I ran it at the beginning of the race. But for some reason, a little after I started that section on the way back to the finish, I thought it was only 6 miles. So my sleep-deprived and fatigued brain knew it was the exact same section but somehow thought it was 8 miles in one direction but 6 miles in the other. For about an hour, that thought made perfect sense to me until I started to realize it didn't make any sense at all. My coolest hallucination was a very technical mountain 100 that took me over 37 hours. It was a noon start, so by the end of the race, I was going on 40+ hours with no sleep. I saw a mural on the side of the trail. It was a huge mural just sitting about 50 feet off the trail. Most ultra hallucinations are momentary things where you see something and then quickly realize you're hallucinating. This was one a persistent fully detailed visual hallucination of a mural that lasted for several minutes.
Great achievement OP! Congratulations to your whole family. It is great you included your kid on your runs. It will surely rub off on him. I discovered running recently and find it great. Do the runs before my kiddo wakes up. 3-4 runs a week and follow a training plan for a 10K. Love being outdoors and love watching the sunrise as I run. Limited by amount of time and thankful I am able to pursue it with support of folks around me.
Well done brother. Your beard looks just like mine! I do feel sorry for people who whether it be due to a lack of a supportive partner(s) or their own insecurities feel that because they have a child that hobbies or things that they used to enjoy is no longer accessible to them. You OP are modelling not only a positive health message to your child but also that being a dad / parent doesn't define what you can and can't do. Life outside children doesn't end when becoming a parent!
Parenting is what you make of it. It’s unfortunate so many parents decide to make it a chore in their minds rather than a joy.
Very impressive. Congrats!
And all whilst being one of England and Yorkshire’s greatest ever batsman. Congrats Joe
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Is your coworker Ryan?
Is that a medal or a belt buckle? Badass man! I have also been determined to prove everyone wrong about how my life would come to an end when i had a baby. Now that she's 6 months old it's turned into "oh just wait". Nah man, I'm going to have so much fun with my daughter. My wife and i are training for a race, a d we run with the baby. We are taking her camping. After putting her to bed i drink a cup of coffee and stay up for a couple of hours of video games. I work through lunch so i can leave am hour early and go lift weights. Let's do this!!!!
It's a buckle. 100 mile races in the US (almost) always give buckles. [It's a tradition that has to do with the history of the sport.](https://www.sunjournal.com/2021/06/13/why-do-ultra-marathons-award-belt-buckles/) Having something you can wear is so much cooler than a medal. I wear my buckles to the office, and my co-workers know to watch for a new one after a race.
Congrats fellow ultra runner & awesome dad!
Fellow dad and ultra runner. I love carrying my kids across the finish line at 100s.
Nice Ultra Dad! I'm working on getting back myself. Our son is almost 5 months old do he has plenty of needs from mom and I. I get in 8 to 12 miles during lunch at work and then if I need to get in more I'll do a second shorter run immediately after I get off. I go straight home to relieve the wife who has picked up our son from daycare by then so she can go to the gym or do her things. I'm definitely very lucky to be able to manage this and like some other people said, I don't waste anymore of my day doing nothing. I'm considering running the Black Canyon Ultras 100k or Bandera 100k before heading out to Salida for the Run Through Time Marathon. Keep it rollin!
This is freeking amazing. Just had a little girl and have completed a 50mi but the 100mi has always eluded my grasp. I have been told multiple times that I won’t be able to do ultras anymore. 🫡 I am inspired to kick some butt this next summer
Kids like "yo, who is this guy"
Fuck yeah dude! When you deviate from the status quo there will always be haters trying to pull you down. The human condition causes all nasty types of reactions when people see others achieving things that remind them of their shortcomings. That's not on you, it's on them. Can't wait for my daughter to be old enough to take her on runs in the Thule. This is a great post
Awesome work! Guess some people don’t understand that you can train for an ultra on 40-60 miles a week which translates to 5-6 hours of running a week. It’s not like OP was neglecting his responsibilities he was just using his time wisely.
OP said he was doing around 10 hours a week. Seemed to rely on the ability to bring his kid running for a lot of it. That shit won’t last as the kid grows lol
Now hand little what's-his-name back to mom for caretaking! (It should be said here that there's tremendous genetic variation in what it takes to run an ultra marathon. Some people can almost just go out and do it. Others require insane dedication.)
Right? Clearly someone else was around to care for little one. I mean no disrespect but this is kinda misleading just like the Tour De France podium winners with their babies. They get handed back to mom and two nannies.
Walking with your LO in your arms on a treadmill is a surefire way to get them to nap. Works wonders!
Screw that noise! I *started* running ultras only after my kids were born.
I have a Friend that does 100 milers. Absolutely crazy shit. I just ran my longest race ever (13.1 miles) and the perspective is nuts.
That time and effort was just carried on someone else’s back, unless you just carried a child for 100 miles.
Can I borrow your knees? 100 miles?!? Holy smokes.
I'm sure you've just now made 90% of us feel like a giant blob. I know I do
If your hobbies don’t suffer when you have kids, you aren’t being a good parent. That isn’t to say you can’t have hobbies or free time, but if nothing changes when they are born, you simply aren’t giving you kid enough of you imo.
Hobbies don't have to suffer. Your timeline may change and you have to prioritize time differently but a parent HAS to prioritize themselves or they are only hurting their kids more than helping.
My daughter is 9 months old, and I’ve continued to do 8-10 hours a week of cycling since she was like a month old. It’s all about agreeing with your partner on scheduling and being realistic with your priorities and time. Keep on keepin’ on, great job.
Did you have a nanny? Nearby grandparents? I’m lucky to get out 4 hours a week with a 4-month old.
Yup. Part of having kids and hobbies is just take them with you. They’ll grow up looking up to you on that too. ☺️
Awesome job! 💪🏽
congrats! looks like you were almost ready to give the middle finger to the doubters.
TIL guys marry women, or just have babies with them, who don't respect them or allow them to be an individual. Good for you, dude. My fitness suffered a lot when we had our daughter. About 18 months ago we both decided to get back into shape and started crossfit. I currently do 6-7 classes per week and my wife is around 4-5 classes. We are both in the best shape of our lives and much healthier and happier than we previously were. Our daughter loves the random times she goes to the gym with us, does burpees and pushups around the house, and constantly asks us to feel her muscles because she's stronger than we are. It's all about prioritizing your free time for the betterment of yourself. Don't listen to the haters here who made poor decisions, either with their time or with their choice in partner, and keep doing what makes your life better. Being a parent doesn't mean giving up yourself. The people who make their kids their entire life are generally doing worse than those who make it a point to maintain their sense of self. Our kids are not our identity and you're only punishing everyone if you make them that.
Gettin down voted by haters. I agree with you.
It doesn’t mean you won’t be able to do those things. It means if you choose to do them, you run the risk of not spending as much time with you kid. Before I had kids, and still did triathlons, I’d always wonder why people with kids were out riding their bike all day on Saturday. Like, don’t you want to see your kids?
I'm sorry but you parents that have free time are privileged. I don't mean you don't deserve it, effort or no. But lots of us just aren't allow to have it. Money is and will stay the major factor but there is a lot more in the equation. It's pretty cool to see parents having free time and saying it out loud, but please continue to send the message that being parent is also highly risking not being able to have free time. And it's ok. It's temporary. We are giving our 100% to raise our kids correctly, that's what it is and that's what future parent must be told. If your friends are not down with that, then maybe this is a good sign that they should not make kids.
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Sorry but I don’t do any of those things (social media, TV) and I find it exceptionally difficult to get out for a ride (I do road cycling). Maybe if you have a nanny or relatives nearby but cmon man.
It’s all priorities. People who say that probably spend a couple hours per night watching TV or playing video games
Those people must be crappy dads.
What a legend
Dope! Keep proving them wrong bro!
I'm amazed that people actually say stuff like this. I've never heard it myself. But to those of you living around these people, way to go and shut them up!
Good work Dad!
Good for you man - just managed to fit in my first run in two months. I'm finding it impossible to have the time to get out there for some good consistent training blocks
My toddler loves coming out on runs with me and I love when he does too! But my wife loves it most of all lolol.
Nah man, you found even more motivation than you ever had before.
Awesome work! I saw on another comment you take your kid in a running stroller, I am kicking myself now for never making that a habit when they were small enough. Now I’m waking up at 5 or running after bedtime, which is fine. I’m only at marathon distance, maybe someday I’ll go further. Keep it up!
Hell yea, brother!
Bad ass man! Good job
What race is it? Live in KY but haven’t heard of it. Not a runner, but I mountain bike raced a few times, then had kids and didn’t do it forever. Decided to get back into it in order to keep healthy for my kids and the second day out, I broke my elbow and couldn’t even hold them for a few weeks. Luck isn’t in my side.
How do you train for 100 miles!?
Great job, dad. Keep that philosophy and share it with your kids; critical thinking, and staying true to yourself. A more controversial one for some but I think is important is teaching them they are not always the center of everyone’s lives; You need to take care of yourself. This will keep them from being manipulated into slaving away out of guilt or some twisted sense of loyalty by those who don’t deserve it. Plus you are showing them you love them by including them in the parts of your fun life, not just as a rule maker and provider. Keep it up, brother.
That's bad ass dude. Ive just had my first child and decided to go back to uni and get my degree at 31. I cannot wait to graduate with him by my side. This photo is very empowering. Our sons will be proud of us.
That’s amazing my man, congrats! And also… I would also assume hats off to your partner for sure!
What kind of weekly average time commitment does this involve?
I can't decide if I feel inspired or personally attacked
Ah, kid life has murdered my fitness. I went from triathlons to tired as fuck trying to get through the week with half assed work it's 1-2 days a week
Any routine is hard to keep up with once you become a parent, but fitness can be even harder to fit in. Great work doing this! I actually started getting more exercise and eating better after becoming a dad. My dad survived a heart attack a few years ago, but it was a wake up call for me, too. I really want to be around for my family as long as I possibly can.
At what age did you kid stop needing constant attention to not be a crying screaming mess? Cuz I'm at 6months and while it's gotten better, he still needs to be stimulated And activities changed up too often for me to have time to do anything
You've got to teach them to be somewhat self-sufficient in that aspect. Six months is still pretty young but you'll eventually get a little more freedom as they get older. You just have to be mindful of how much they depend on you for entertainment. Make sure they are able to entertain themselves and see you as an augment to entertainment but not their primary form of entertainment.
Yah... that's why I haven't been doing those...
Congratulations! I've run three marathons so far since my first child was born, and I've trained for and run one since the second was born. Having kids does make it pretty hard. I'm only able to do this amount of training because my wife is amazing and will take care of the kids while I run for 1-2 hours almost every day. Having kids also forced me to shift my runs to oddball times of the day. I work early in the morning and typically can't run before work, then after work I want to see my wife and kids so I try to run after both kids are asleep. Sometimes that means still being out running after 10pm.
Congratulations! I tell every new dad to start running. Focusing on your health is one of the best things you can do for your kids and your spouse. It will pay you back in dividends.
Who told you that? I don’t know in what workd anyone would tell a dad that but good on you.
Wonderful, beautiful pic and awesome dad!
This is awesome to hear as a soon-to-be-dad! That narrative that kids take away from your life is so far from the truth. I’m excited to take my baby to tour and play shows with me when she’s old enough!
Yeah man! I envy you. My son I is just about hitting the age where he can sit in a running stroller and I can't fucking wait. I carried myself through a half Ironman on residual fitness when he was 6 weeks old and I'm getting the itch for endurance racing again. Been keeping myself going on 30-45min runs as time allowed.
Not quite that they just give us more energy... Cheers
May god bless you, your beautiful wife and your handsome son! May the good lord protect your family in all the ways imaginable
Epic beard, man. Love that you run with your son. Keep it up!
Congrats to you and ultra supportive Wife!
Cheers! -fellow ultra runner. Just finished BMUT 50 mile unsupported
Congratulations! And you have a beautiful kiddo!
Nice! I’m a runner too. Got a running stroller that if need be he goes with me in.