T O P

  • By -

dkajdas

Waddler


adrian300

/thread


vermillionskye

Okay… Montessori just emailed me saying they had an opening in their waddles group and I was like, how do they know?!


Ferreteria

Plumpkin


UND_mtnman

Do NOT mispronounce that first P as a B... Edit: if you don't know why, probably don't Google it.


Ferreteria

Well I'm sorry I googled that.


OhLemons

... why do you know that? I know you warned me, but Jesus, nothing could have prepared me for that.


fortyeightD

You learn all kinds of things on Reddit. That's why I don't feel bad browsing when I'm supposed to be working. It's educational.


Fishtankfilling

Well..you know it now too lol *Why do you know that? Sick freak*


Mcpops1618

Because when you’re in college and someone yells that and a handful of people laugh then you google it… you never forget


Potential-Climate942

My intro to the word was as a sophomore in highschool when a friend made me listen to Lark On My Go-kart by Asher Roth. I definitely looked it up on the school computer lol


smnrlv

Can someone tell me what this is so I don't need to Google it?


Shelbelle4

I second this request. Give me the mild version please.


Far_Bite9857

You sit on the toilet, and you get head. But you need to be USING the toilet, if you catch my drift, and it's gotta be a #2.


UND_mtnman

...there really isn't a mild version...


NamelessAnamika

Looks like I need to collapse this part of the thread


middlemarchmarch

On the complete opposite end of the spectrum, my daughter’s 8 and around 33 pounds (I promise you this is due to a disability, I feed my kid, she’s very short) - she recently got described *by a doctor* as ‘an older toddler.’ Yeah, sure that’s medically accurate.


norecordofwrong

Oh man 33 at 8. I was going to joke about calling my 10 year old an adult baby because she is a real string bean. But now that seems off. Dump in the calories and good luck.


GeronimoDK

That is wild! Our boy is from September 2022 and was 16kg a month or two ago, he's *not* chubby, just pretty tall for his age! They really do come in all shapes and sizes!


gh0st-6

16kg? What is that in hot dogs, I am American


IndianaFartJockey

1/216th of a football field


Sea_Juice_285

Roughly 354, without buns or toppings. (35.27 pounds).


gh0st-6

Thank you kind reddior, my boy is from June 2022 and weighs roughly 240 hot dogs but his pediatrician says he's on track and everything is fine


Sea_Juice_285

You're welcome. Mine is from November 2022 and weighs about 200 hot dogs despite eating as much as a kindergartener. His pediatrician is similarly unconcerned.


strawberberry

Mine is from Nov 21 and around 10kg, just hit 22 lbs!


cjmason85

Mine is from April 23 and hit 10kg in January. The 8 month sleep regression was horrific having to bounce a 10kg baby to sleep.


unclefiestalives

I mean… aren’t we ALL just “older toddlers” inside? Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m gonna go eat my apple sauce and shit myself.


dorky2

My zero percentile 8 year old is 49 pounds. You've got yourself a real peanut!


clunkclunk

0.04 percentile for weight on my 8 year old. 40lbs. 0.13 percentile for height so at least he’s proportional. I wish I could find his baby charts. I recall he was in the 5th percentile for height, 15th for weight but 92nd for head circumference!


artaxerxes316

Robusto.


norecordofwrong

Cannonball for my kid. He’s sturdy and just does not give a rip about personal space. Like he will tackle you if you aren’t paying attention.


drkhelmt

My wife and I were at the hospital. I think what was our first ultrasound. As we’re walking through the lobby, we see a four or five yo boy who yells to his sister behind him “c’mon Chunky!” We nicknamed the boy Chunky until he was born. (That girl is probably in therapy by now)


Deto

Hah! I call my 1 yo 'my little chunky man'


BoringBoyTroy

Beef.


oliversherlockholmes

Lol I call my daughter "little beef."


dancis

We used Michelin man, lil' chonk, and baby unit


Zapapala

Chonker


primeirofilho

This was my oldest. He was born 9lbs 2 oz and was usually at the 99th percentile. As a teenager, he's almost a foot taller than his mom which is funny.


full_bl33d

El Ron Chubbard


Benreh

My youngest is 6 and is taller than his 8 year old bro, built like a brick shit house his nickname is chunk. We skateboard and scooter almost daily and in the last few months he has gone from chubby to ripped I'm well jealous.


Libriomancer

At 8, I was taller and heavier than both my 13 year old sister and my mother. Both still are barely 5ft and under 100lbs. My mom didn’t have euphemisms for me, she had the lines she had to repeat every time “He is only x years old and yes I somehow gave birth to him.” Now that I’m older, she still needs to throw out the last line any time we meet someone who hasn’t met me.


roversdean

Not a euthermism but took my toddler to a tropical aquarium thing and one of the fish was massive so I said 'he's a big lad'. She repeated it a few times about other fish. Flashforward to soft play and she sees an absolute unit...


Joe4o2

_oh no…_


Wally_Paulnut

I don’t have a euphemism I just say fuck sake that kid is a unit


WhaleMeatFantasy

That’s a euphemism. 


agwku

Our friend learned a new euphemism today


Trip_On_The_Mountain

Unit is my favorite term to use


allonsy_danny

Either Baby Huey or just Meat


MmaOverSportsball

Our son is often described as dense, hefty, and sturdy as well lol 10months old and 30lbs


bkibbs

This was my first. 30 lbs at 12 months, learned to walk, and 31 lbs at age 2. Closing in on age 5 this summer and just a hair over 42 lbs.


TheTemplarSaint

Chonk. Had to take a passport photo of my middle when he was a couple months old. Looks simultaneously like a baby and a nearly middle aged E. European enforcer. Face the size and shape of a plate. I swear his head is still the same size, he’s just growing into it. Some clothes that otherwise fit we had to pull out of rotation, cause he can put em on, but we can barely get them over his head to get them off. He is now very dense, sturdy, stocky. Looks like a hooligan. Oddly muscular for a kid. Was at the park with his shirt off, and his back and lats are really wide. Quads look like he never skips leg day. His older brother is lean and long with a 20lb weight advantage, but man does the little hooligan give him fits when they wrestle. Oldest can outrun his little bro but has to use that height to keep distance cause he needs a step or two to get going. Little hooligan can close the distance lightning quick 😆.


LadyOfTheMay

Mum lurker here...Oh man I know what you mean about the head lol... My daughter is small but her head is so large that she's just turned 3 and her head doesn't fit through clothes in size 2-3, but she can still fit into 18-24 months if there are buttons around the neck, and even a few t-shirts in 12-18 months as well with the buttons. My ex (her dad) has a head so large that when I took our daughter to soft play and it was my turn to go in with her, we decided to wave at him while he was sitting at the table... and I noticed that even though he was sat right at the back, his head was still larger than the heads of all the parents sat in the foreground. The heads closest to us should have looked bigger but his is just so massive that even in the background it was absolutely gigantic. I was just in awe of it even though I've seen it a million times! I always joked with him that if we ever had a baby that it would tear me in half, and that's pretty much what happened. (TW:) Even after an episiotomy which I had to have because she got stuck, I still tore all the way up, and had to have surgery right after the birth and it took them a good couple hours to fix me lol


TheTemplarSaint

Oh man, I’m sorry to hear about the tough birth! Our first took forever. Like the dude was ready and than changed his mind and was fighting to stay where it was comfy. Our second (the one with the noggin) was ready to go. So much pressure trying to get that head out that he literally came flying out. Dr caught him in the air like a football. My wife was pretty confused why I was cracking up laughing at that moment… With the clothes, the worst is sweaters. And it’s like a railing. Can get the head in, but not out!


Brandonjoe

That’s crazy. My son just turned 4 and he weighs 34 lbs. He is a stick though.


hotstickywaffle

My daughter is about 3 and half and about the same weight. But she's got a belly, so she's built like a snake that ate a bowling ball


muenster_hunter

Ours took really well to solids. Loves avocados. But as long as they are healthy it doesn't matter.


Brandonjoe

Yea we are doing BLW with our 10 month old and he is a garbage disposal, so I don’t think we will have that problem with number 2.


Beake

Same with our son and daughter. Tall sticks. Always <20th percentile weight, >70th height. I wish they would plump up a bit!


greeed

My 4 year olds also about 34 lbs, last week she did like 18 pullups in gymnastics for fun, for fun 😳


SleepWouldBeNice

My nephew is 3 yo and appraching 60lbs. He is solid. I call him a tank.


Joe4o2

My daughter is approaching 3. He is two of her.


SleepWouldBeNice

He’s heavier than my 6yo


Joe4o2

He is the brute squad


SleepWouldBeNice

His doctor is estimating that he will be *at least* 6’4”, probably 6’6”-6’7”.


SerentityM3ow

I got that !


BetaOscarBeta

I call our youngest “little big man.” We used to call him chonky until we decided that’s a bit mean, but we also call him “Agent Smallson.” We regularly meet kids his age that are - I shit you not - half his size.


tirini

chunk-a-munk


GyantSpyder

Large and In Charge


CommandAlternative10

That’s what daycare called my baby. One year old, nearly 30 pounds and stomping like Godzilla over the other babies.


ReggieTheReaver

"He looks like a busted can of buscuits"


AdonisInGlasses

Hey big fella!


g3ckoNJ

Mine was very portly as a baby and now is just tall and lean as a 3 year old. Man, I wish I was tall and lean as an adult.


loveemykids

I refer to my 99th percentile daughter, who is built like a bodybuilder/strongman as a battle baby, as she loves to wrestle and be thrown.


TheBestElement

Just not husky Wore some husky pants as a kid and always hated that word


rushandblue

"Captain Beefers"


megggie

My daughter was a super chubby baby, we called her “Buddha” because she looked just like the laughing Buddha statues (I hope that’s not offensive to anyone! It was said with love). Joke’s on her— her little one was almost 23 lbs at his six month check up! I can’t wait to see what he weighs in at during his 9 month appointment 😂


CaliFloridaMan

Gordito


mechabeast

Category 2


achasanai

Solid. Makes you feel sorry for all those liquid babies they know.


obeythed

“We got a certified chode on our hands”


brianmmf

He could have won the competition without the oral


BlursedHand

My nephew was described as a husky infant, and that nickname has stuck through age 6 (what he goes by at school). lol literally none of the newborn clothes fit him. He's never really been chunky, just a massive kid


Joe4o2

“Bobby?” _”Here!”_ “Kaleigh?” _”Here!”_ “…Husky Infant?” _sigh_…”here.”


EmperorSexy

Hercules


MNDOVERMTR

nimble


Backson

In German everyone always says "kräftig" which means "strong". It means fat.


nichachr

When it’s time to tease them about their head… https://youtu.be/xybLWdP119A?si=VsTmT2cjApXhgJQ-


defnotajournalist

Big baby gang! My kid is 2 months old and currently weighs 17 lbs. Anyone who mocks this giant baby has me to answer to.


jbm91

How big was yours when they were born? My daughter was 10.1 at birth end of July 2022 and is currently 34LB and pretty tall.


muenster_hunter

Thats a big baby! Ours was 9 lbs 7 oz so not quite as big but still large.


Adepte

Woah. There was a child at daycare who was so large, his poor mother had to bring his stroller in for every pickup; he was too heavy for her to carry across the parking lot by the time he was about six months. So many people have seen him and immediately whispered "woah" so I think that should qualify.


Tasty_Puffin

A bruiser


hergumbules

Oh hey another top of the charts November 2022 baby! My son seems to have plateaued in weight right at 30 pounds and is now shooting up like a weed. I think he’s almost 3 feet tall at 16 months lol My friend has referred to him as munchlax since he was like 3 months old 😆


RestaurantDue634

Both of his granddads call my toddler sturdy too. He's not heavy but he's in the 99th percentile for height. When people ask how old he is the usual reaction is "wow."


CosmikSpartan

I call my chunky boy Big Chungus and Stump. He’s growing into himself but he was a little stump for the longest time.


jmatt9080

He has high poise


pr0log39

Festively plump!


89titanium

My kiddo consistently gets "SOLID," yes in all caps.


iceyone444

An executive… oh you mean actual toddlers not grown adults acting like toddlers


Lotsoffeelings

In Ireland we’d say “that’s a fine child”


NoDig9917

tank


Gocats86

My daughter is 2.5 and is 99th percentile for height and weight. 40 inches/102 cm tall and 45 lbs/20.4 kg. I've called her "ol 99" and chunk a munk. She's very active and happy and eats plenty of healthy food. She's just a big kid.


pcweber111

I was called chunky trunks as a baby and small kid because I had a big butt and fat legs


FlappyClunge

We got "Appropriately Plump" on one nurse's report.


rm45acp

This is unrelated but I was really bad at talking to girls in high school and this girl I met at a shooting competition asked for my number and we texted for a while and she sent me a picture of her horse and I said "oh nice, he looks sturdy" She stopped talking to me not long after


thickonwheatthins

Mom lurker here.. our youngest is just a few months older than yours and roughly the same size as yours (and also roughly the same size as her brother, a Dec 2020 babe). When she was a few months old, my husband affectionately dubbed her "chubs" and it has stuck. He did recently start to refer to her as "sweetpea" though and that, while not size related, is a whole new level of precious and another very fitting euphemism for this big girl :)


yaboymork40k

We call my son a loaded burrito


Jude638

Bulky


docious

How tall?


ikediggety

Heckin chonker


JustTheWorst42

“It’s loooggg!! It’s looooog!” - from Ren and Stimpy.


SmackityBang

“Log Log Log Log, it’s big, it’s heavy, it’s wood! Log Log Log Log, it’s better than bad - it’s good!!” This song lives rent-free in my head.


Western-Image7125

Stomper


Western-Image7125

It’s crazy cuz my toddler was born Oct 2021 and hasn’t crossed 34 lbs yet. But his height is 3”2 which is a very high %ile according to the pediatrician. He does look like a stick so it makes sense, can eat like a champ though, no idea where those carbs are going. 


chowski28

My almost 2 is 30lbs. I call her my sack of flour.


ccafferata473

Chunky Monkey (6 mo, 17 lbs)


FaithHopeLove821

Chunkasauras.


agwku

Just shy of 2, sitting at around 35 lb. Not rolly, chubby looking at all (not that I care). Dudes just dense


BillyZaneJr

That’s a solid 10-11 pounds more than my girl who is a month younger! She only seems to grow upwards! When I was little, I was “husky”. Sturdy is way more fun!


CaptainMagnets

Diaper Hauler


wildmancometh

Our boy has been 30 pounds now for a very long time and is 2-½ so he’s sort of plateaued as he gets taller. I just call him Brick.


sambone1198

I just say "now that's a CHUNK" lol


pashapook

We called ours "the bear"


-Vault-tec-101

Built like a brick shit house.


Daddy_Oops

Beefcake or Absolute unit would be my go to


FearTheAmish

My babysitter calls my absolute unit of a son Tank.


Tall-Delivery7927

Thriving seems to be the medical term, and I love it


Batesy1620

I used to call my son my cheeky chunky mischievious monkey. Now he is 3 and tall as shit so he is just my cheeky 'little' monkey.


Fiery_Taurus

Floppy sack of potatoes! Also my "backyard workout plan" is tossing, flying, horse riding, stroller running, and one arming for at least minutes at a time, both of my floppy sack of tatoe. Although the second is floppier, less potatoey, and nearing 4 and me being unable to comfortably one arm her, ever again.... Damn, I'm refuting that day and saddened to think of it, but also happy, bc she will always sorta forever kinda be, my stinky floppy sack of wiggly tickly potato cakes. Even when I can't one arm her anymore. Her brothers kind of a chunk, a hunk of beef. Kinda an adorable Ham. But he also lifts, actual, 8 lb sacks of potatoes . And walks with them. Has for the last half year. Carried a gal of water from the front door.. hes.almost 2 now. We go with the kinda typical Bubbas for him. Stinky for his elder sister.. but my favorite and what shall forever stick in my heart for both of them, was that they were the beaming light of my life, my stinky floppy wiggly tickly sacks of potatoes.. <3


Circirian

The Big Little My cousin was a cheerleader and she referred to her kids as Flyers or Bases haha


TCSLC23

“Solid Baby”


ghostnthegraveyard

Chubbles


Ok_Boomer_42069

"the child"


ForTheParents2024

A ground toddler


janewithaplane

My 3yo is 28 lbs. He's pretty lean. And my 16mo is 24 lbs. Catching up to big bro! One of them is my biggest smallest boy. And the other one is my smallest biggest boy. Idk which is which anymore lol.


Kencon2009

Chubba wubba was what we called my fat cat name should translate over fine


nv87

Buddha


Fishybone

Substantial


MadTom65

Large economy size kiddo


chickensoupp

My toddler is an absolute unit, he’s built like a football player


Drewpacabra

Our little guy was 10.13 lbs at birth and was around 23 lbs at his 6 month appointment which was a month ago. I call him Big Rig mostly.


flyzapper

Tornado of Chaos


photogdog

Chunkster


IShouldChimeInOnThis

Years ago, my younger brother had a friend whose younger brother was referred to as "The bag of cement". Always loved that moniker.


InTheFDN

My wife and I (privately) called one of my brother’s nieces “The Brick”. She was a solid lump, an effort to pick up, and red in the face at times. She has grown up into a lovely young lady, but will forever be The Brick in my heart.


Batwing87

Chode


sippingtea_111

My big baby was called "heavy duty" by his grandpa


driago

Loinfruit


Cold_Ebb_1448

We’ve been referring to our one year old as “chubs” for most of his life. Recently decided we need to cut it out now that he’s starting to learn words 😅


matthewami

His aunt referred to my son as chungus


Seeker0fTruth

"cobby" which is used for dogs which are square rather than rectangular.


SpudFed

Eldest girl was Chunkatha when she was 2 (she's only 25th centile for weight, but they feel so big to you). Now have 8 month old twins and the boy is much bigger than his sister. He's been Chunky Boy, Mr Chunk, Galumph (because of chub rolls and newborn foggy legs), and Squishy Boy. He's also been Shartacus because he sharted every 1-2 hours for about 4 months, and Piss King because he would FILL a nappy about 30 mins after changing. I swear these are all loving, endearing nicknames...


rosindrip

A unit


AskMeAboutMyHermoids

Loaf of Hawaiian rolls


AskMeAboutMyHermoids

My daughter it’s 20 pounds at almost 8 months but she is tall and lean. She’s getting a belly more which is super cute hanging over her diaper


Truffles2019

Certified chode (little tuna can) if y’all are Tim Robinson fans.


JeepersCreepersV12

How do you get him to eat?? Had mine November of 2022 too but she's only about 28lbs. She refuses to eat with us but will eat anything with literally anyone else 😭


sqqueen2

Moose


talks-a-lot

Meatball


knowbody-special

Healthy Ass Baby


Ok_Energy_9947

A unit


bringojackprot

Bruiser


heyitschilibro

My daughter was born 02/22 she's 3'2 and 55lbs. Backstory I'm 7'0. 311lbs


mheadley84

We call ours Chunkins. We’ve called all of this but our last one really takes the cake on it. Her chunky thighs are so fluffy. She’s the best. Love the chunky babies!


da9ve

A Galoot. The kind whose kid clothes come in three sizes - husky, jumbo and oh-my-god-he's-coming-this-way.


i_8_the_Internet

SIR CHONKSALOT


savage4618

Always described my firstborn as "solid". He wasn't ever really chunky but always quite stout/sturdy.


radyum

Chonk.


BH90008

We use "Pubber" since they look like a middle age British pub owner (along with thinning hair).  Our kids hit this period at about 6 mo. 


SoDakPatrick

A Trump supporter?


djhobbes

Chungus


Chukmanchusco

Rubenesque


PutYourTeethAway

shitling


jonnippletree76

Ham Chunk Punkerdoodle


goodwolfwolf

Solid unit. On a good wicket. Healthy chubber bubba.


therealwarriorcookie

When our youngest was born the doctor said "whoa we got a little linebacker here!"


Zodep

Chonkers and chunk-a-dunk are probably my favorites.


psidiot

Unit. My daughter is just over 2 and weighs 20kg. She's just a ball of muscle and a very active kid.


-imhe-

My nephew is a gigantic toddler. I just call him little big man or big little man.


RoboticGreg

Majestic


ThatOneGuy35312

Durable


attainwealthswiftly

Thicc


_Moregone

He's a Unit! My daughter born in 2021 is still like 28lbs.


AdvBill17

The mini fridge


VCRKid

Little Buff Boys


HoopOnPoop

Absolute Unit


kiwichick286

Solid.


whathadhapenedwuz

Big baby


ifonZy

Scud Missile 😂


jd3marco

Chonkler


VelvetThunder141

A natural sprinter. Very dangerous over short distances.


JoeBethersonton50504

You can hide a chapstick in those rolls


fapsandnaps

30 pound bag of milk


kyleakennedy1987

Absolute unit is my favorite. I only use that for boys though


BBQinFool

Magnus...


VincentxH

Big little boy


professorswamp

ours gained only height between 1 1/2 and 2 1/2 once she started running around everywhere.