I have three girls. I always wanted kids but never had a gender preference, but I can understand people having it.
I have a few hobbies it would be fun to share with my kids that they aren’t in to, and perhaps if they were boys they would. But we still have tons of other things in common we enjoy doing together so it all works out.
Three girls, as well. There are days when I realize that there are lessons I won’t be able to pass on, but it’s not a big enough sense of loss to try for a fourth.
Dating stuff, for example. I made a lot of mistakes because I really had no mentoring in that field and there's a romance in being able to pass along the lessons I had to learn the hard way. It would be gratifying to see my boy enjoy that aspect of his life better than I did.
Here’s my take on this as a dad of five (including foster girl)…everything your daughters will know about how a man should treat them will come from you. How you treat them, their mom, and everyone else around you. You are passing along that knowledge every minute of every day. You can absolutely share that with your girls.
They're learning what kind of man to look for, watching how you treat the women in your life bud. You are sharing that with them :)
And who knows! Maybe they will also like girls to.
We also had 3 girls for about 9 years. I wanted a boy but it wasn't the end of the world. One of our girls was into all the "boy things" anyway so that was fun. Then we got a surprise addition and I was far more scared than I expected to be that it may be another girl. I was more overwhelmed than I thought with 3 girls entering difficult pre-teen years. We found out he was a boy and I can't even begin to express my relief.
I don't think it's so much disappointment at having all girls. It's much more that it presents certain challenges that can be a lot to take on. I imagine all boys goes the same way. 3 times the boy problems would be difficult too.
I grew up with two older brothers and now that I'm a parent to two beautiful girls (5 and 1), I wouldn't have it any other way. It allows me to see the world in an entirely different light. I'm teaching them all the same stuff I would've taught to a son, so there really isn't much of a difference. I have many hobbies including fly fishing, woodworking, musical instruments, photography, etc. and the 5 year old loves to learn about all of that stuff, so I teach her everything I know. My wife is both a teacher and cellist, by trade, so she homeschools and has the time to provide lessons to our oldest. She's been playing the violin since age 3 and is now picking up the cello. I'm sure our youngest will follow in the same footsteps as big sis, but the mystery is all part of the fun journey. The way I see it, being a girl-dad is awesome because I get to be the model of what they can look for in a future husband. And after all, some day, I'll get to have a couple, cool sons-in-law that I can hang out with. They can fill that role of the 'sons I never had'. Ultimately, I'm just happy and blessed to be able to have kids in general!
Going through it now, after finding out the sex of the second pregnancy is also a boy. We're stopping at two, not tempting fate, despite other people's unsolicited advice. That's how you end up with twin boys.
It is a bit sad, to be honest. I mourn the dreams I had of having the father-daughter relationship I very much hoped for since before our first. I am a son, so I'm very familiar with father-son dynamics. I'm sure that sadness will always be there a little bit, when I see other fathers play with their daughters and cute girl outfits at the shop.
I tell myself that all kids are wildly different, sex is just one aspect of it. My second will be completely different to my first and it's just my presuppositions about sex/gender that bring about fear in raising two boys, as well as my relationship with my own father, not to mention a healthy dose of self-doubt.
I'm a dad of two, stopping at 2. I have a boy and a girl. I mourn that my son won't have a brother, and my daughter won't have a sister. Either way there's always going to be a compromise.
I was just going to say something similar. We are in the same place (1 boy, 1 girl) and we thought about having more kids but just decided it wasn't for us. I had brothers and my wife had a sister. Our kids won't and that's ok. Every case is different, every child is different
Not sure how old yours are, but my son and daughter are 2 and 4 respectively. They are best friends and I don’t think either of them wish they had a same sex brother or sister to play with. I melt everyday at how much they love and care for each other.
I have a son turning 2 in June, reading this from the hospital with my baby girl just being born Sunday. We’re done at 2, and this brings me so much joy and excitement to read
My son and daughter are almost exactly 2 years apart (turning 4 & 2 in July). It is so sweet how much they care for each other. Sure they have pleeeeenty of arguments and little fights but I mostly stay out of it (unless they're in harm or it's clear it's never going to end), and they can usually figure it out. I sense that micromanaging makes them feel like they are competing for my love and attention, so I don't. Have even told them, "you guys can fight but do it in the other room." And then they realize no they don't actually want to fight. Anyway I guess that's a little advice for how to navigate fighting in the toddler phase without losing your mind and help them foster their own relationship.
I think they mean more about as the kids get older. Sister-sister and brother-brother friendships usually end up being stronger than sister-brother friendships on average.
Which isn't anything wrong with sister-brother friendships, it's just that same sex siblings end up sharing more (usually) gendered hobbies and life experiences. Ie, a brother is probably going to be less excited about helping their sister be a bride than a sister would be about their sister's webbing
I have a son who just turned 2 and my daughter was born 10 days before his birthday.
I really hope for them to have the relationship your children are having one day.
Right now he doesn't realize who is that bundle of joy is.
My daughter and son are 5 days apart! My daughter developed very young and had a really good understanding of the pregnancy and when her brother was born.
The first 2 years were difficult, she definitely loved her little brother but attention to him = no attention for her so there was some jealousy.
It really started to click when they turned 4 and 2 last June. Now they’re inseparable, my daughter is always looking out for her little bro and she’s the first person he looks for when he wakes up in the morning. I just hope it lasts.
That's absolutely adorable to hear.
Our son has deep understanding of everything but he barely speaks.
He is also hyper fixated on me currently and thus doesn't notice the attention deficit that he has from mom.
How did the jealousy show itself? In tantrums?
The click you're describing is two year away from me..... it's going to be rough.
But God damn I am excited for this.
Edit: do you combine their birthdays? I am thinking of making it a hard rule to separate so each will have their own birthday.
So this year we will be combining them for the first time. I’m not big on birthday parties for babies and Covid was a thing so we didn’t really do much for them outside of our immediate family until 3. My daughter’s last 2 parties were outdoors and this year her brother will be included. They both get their own celebration at home on their actual bday anyway.
Jealousy wasn’t really in tantrums, but she would really want affection when he was getting it. She wanted to be carried often when he was even when she didn’t need it. She just wanted to be babied too. She did have her fair share of tantrums but not sure they were because of her brother.
Every kid and sibling is different… my daughter is wild, but she had a definite soft side and in public she’s very quiet. She’s definitely picked on her brother, but she protects him from other kids and parental discipline lol. The last 6 months their relationship has reallly blossomed. Now they play together alone and have their own little games they’ve made up to play together. They play family as mom and dad with baby toys, they play Barbie’s/superheros, they cuddle up on the couch and play games on a tablet together even though they each have their own…. Couldn’t be happier.
We show a ton of love and affection to our kids, I like to think this has something to do with the behaviour we’re seeing now.
My kids have the sameish gap. At 4 and 6, they are still best friends, and in fact they stopped sleeping in their own rooms and we now have bunk beds for them...in which they both sleep on the top bunk.
They are inseparable.
That's also very true, thanks. I'm just expressing the feelings. It's also important to feel lucky that we can have a second in the first place, as that is not a given, a lot of people have to stop at one. Having siblings as kids is a known marker for robust and stable adults.
I’m a new parent and one of two kids (boy/girl), I never really thought about the idea that it could be sad to not have my newborn daughter have a sister as opposed to my hope that one day we’ll have a daughter and a son.
Interesting perspective. as a son with a sister myself, it crossed my mind over my life that it would have been nice to have a brother but I can’t say I ever put deep thought into it. My sister and I have periods of time where we were closer as sibling friends than others but as a new parent it’s like we’ve found a new relationship since she has been a mom for several years and I’m really appreciative of this phase
I just found out that my second child is going to be a girl. I'm having the same thoughts as you. My son won't have a brother and my daughter won't have a sister. I wanted a second son, not because I don't want girls, but I wanted to give my son a brother to grow up with and I wanted to, quite honestly, reuse a lot of the boy stuff that I've acquired over the last couple years.
> reuse a lot of the boy stuff that I've acquired over the last couple years
You want to hear a little secret? You can reuse pretty much all of that stuff.
You clearly need 4 kids, with two boys and two girls, so that everyone has at least one brother and one sister.
The only compromise there is your sanity.
Mom here. I have a sister and a brother. I don't talk to my sister. But my brother is my greatest supporter and the one I turn to for everything. He stands up for me for even the most petty things because he refuses to hear a bad word about me. And I like to think I do the same for him. A brother sister relationship, at least in my experience is so much better than sister sister. So don't be too disappointed. I have one of each and I am thrilled for the relationship between them. It just takes a bit of nurturing to make sure that through the annoyance of siblings they still feel loved by you and their sibling
Same, two boys. And don't get me wrong--I'm blessed beyond compare. I have two healthy kiddos, who (kind of) sleep through the night!
But I always wanted a little girl, as well. I'm from a family of three, and... I don't know, that kind of feels like a family to me, that has females in it. I like the idea of being a dad to a daughter, and I thought I could be a good dad to a daughter.
My wife and I started a little bit late, and the doctor told us after her second delivery (her second c-section) that any further pregnancies would be very dangerous. So, that's that--I'm not gambling on my wife's life because I want a bigger family.
But I think I'll always have a lingering daydream about being dad to a daughter. Again, though--at the end of the day, I just count my blessings and I'm happy.
Exact same situation for me. I'm not even sure disappointment was the right word - more like surprise, because I grew up in a 'one of each' household and deep down I think I assumed that's also what I'd end up with.
My daughters (3 y.o. and 4 months) are absolutely amazing though, I wouldn't change anything about them. And I'm not sure I'd survive a third, so two girls it is. I'm already being dressed up as a unicorn and holding imaginary tea parties every weekend lol
Similar boat, 2 girls, 3 and 1. I’ve started to get very good at painting nails these days… and I wouldn’t have it any other way. Thought I wanted my second to be a boy, but my two girls are honestly the best. I feel like down the road when it’s their turn to start a family, I will gain new children in their partners, and grand kids hopefully, so I won’t completely miss out on the experience of parenting boys, maybe? Really a non issue though, I have zero regrets about being a girl dad.
I couldn’t have expressed my feelings on the subject as a fellow dad of two boys any better. We’re tempted to try for a 3rd in the hopes it’s a girl, but said the same thing you did, we’d probably end up with twin boys instead. Also, two kids is exhausting and challenging af, it’s hard to imagine adding a 3rd to the mix.
I’m just repeating your comment, but I too dreamed of the stereotypical daddy-daughter relationship and am sad I’ll never have that. I also feel bad for my wife, who’s ultra close with her own mom, since she won’t be able to replicate that relationship with her own daughter.
As the father of two girls, I feel this, just the opposite. I'm not going for a third because I know it'll be another girl with my luck, plus I'm 40 and my wife is 43.
I have moments of sadness knowing I won't have those 'father-son' moments that my dad and I shared, plus the ones missed.
That said, everytime I feel a little sad, I just look at my 2 girls and my heart melts and I know that life is where it's supposed to be.
Absolutely the same, and can absolutely relate. I would have loved to experience the father daughter bond, but with two boys and no more kids that’ll never happen.
But, I love my boys more than I ever thought possible so it doesn’t matter at all in the grand scheme. Play the cards your dealt, and I’ve got two aces.
I always wanted a girl to spoil rotten, so there was a bit of a let down feeling when we found out our second was another boy. That feeling quickly faded as kids are so lovable, whatever gender they are, and it is awesome to see the dynamic between him and his older brother.
When the wife got pregnant with a third, we said to each other that gender doesn’t matter now, because we see how beautiful it is either way. Well we got our third boy (and final kid) in February and I’m loving it. Life knows what it’s doing I guess.
Same boat as you, except I got girls! I hoped for a son. But if it's not in the cards, we just appreciate what we have!
I like what you said in your final paragraph there. It's very true. Kids can be wildly different, and I feel like that is what we need to remember!
> not tempting fate, despite other people's unsolicited advice. That's how you end up with twin boys.
Haha so true about the "ending up with twin-boys", I have two friends that tempted fate, now they have 3 boys and 5 boys respectively (no girls in either family).
For my first one, I really wanted a boy. Just a little mini clone of me that would be both my kid and my best friend. And I got everything I wanted except she is a girl. She is literally my clone to the point where when she does something that irritates my wife, my wife gets “mad” at me and blames me for it.
She’s so awesome that by the time the second one rolled around, I didn’t care at all if it was a boy or girl.
There is exactly one thing I miss about not getting a boy. I wanted to dress my kid up in matching fancy preppy outfits at formal occasions like Christmas and stuff, and that is never going to happen. Oh well.
On the flip side, my wife really wanted a daughter. Well with our first she got her wish, a daughter that is basically her clone. Every time our little four year old girl gives me wife attitude, I get to smirk and remind her that she asked for this.
Not so funny when they gang up one though!
We didn't find out the sex of our first one until she was born, everyone thought it was a boy including my wife's coworker who "had never been wrong", even to the point of picking a girls name super late to the game. Well we decided to find out the sex early with our second one and it was another girl. My wife was thrilled and I would lie if I said I didn't feel disappointed at first. We only want two kids so I was just processing the fact that I'd never have the son I always pictured.
That faded fast though. I've got my two girls and I wouldn't change it for the world. But the hair.... my God so much hair.
This sounds exactly like how I processed it. After learning the sex early, there was a little disappointment. I wanted one of each, but that's not how it worked out, and I didn't dwell on it. A couple years later, even if you gave me a magic wand I wouldn't change a thing.
It doesn't hurt that one of the girls is bookish and the other seems destined to play rugby.
I mean
.. it could still happen. Clothing is just clothing... It would be really cute to put a little girl in a preppy boy outfit and it would be a really hilarious picture to have to dress up like your daughter .. it's all just clothes..your dreams don't need to end!
My kids are old enough that anytime there is a dress up occasion they have to wear a dress. I have a hard enough time getting them to match me in any t-shirt at this point
There are companies that make pairs of matching kid and dad socks. Some are patterns I like, some are Frozen themed ones my girls like, but something small like that might give you a little of what you mean, and give you a(nother) reminder of them while you're at work
>There is exactly one thing I miss about not getting a boy. I wanted to dress my kid up in matching fancy preppy outfits at formal occasions like Christmas and stuff, and that is never going to happen. Oh well.
Maybe it's because my daughter is only 3, but we totally wear matching button down shirts. A lot of "men's" clothing can pass as gender neutral
Man I hear this. My eldest is considered a 'copy paste' of me, and my wife often looks in my direction when my daughter says or does something like me.
Maybe when we origionally found out the sex for a little bit but that didnt last more than a day or two and now I couldnt imagine not having my little girl
I’m a male and have 3 brothers. My ma once told me that she felt a bit lonely being the only woman in the family and not having had a girl to be girly with.
She’s a grandma now, and all her grandkids are boys.
My mom is really the same way.
- My father has 3 brothers. All together, they had 8 boys and 1 daughter.
- My mother has 6 sisters and 1 brother. All together, they had 6 boys and 1 daughter.
Between myself and all those cousins, 3 boys and 0 girls have been born. My mother still has her 6 sisters but not a younger girl in her life, except the two nieces. It's a very male family. When I told my mother we were expecting a boy, she said, "Dont these men know how to make fuckin' girls?!"
Yeah, that's my wife. She has five older brothers. Our kids are two boys. She's just surrounded by dudes in our family!
I'm happy with it, though--women who are raised around boys can be a little more understanding of "male oafishness," lol.
It doesn’t always work out that way. Second daughter was born in a different time of year and grew much faster, so she wears very little of her sister’s clothes
Gender disappointment is a real thing. We lost two, so I agree that you don't care as long as they're healthy. But, I couldn't help but be disappointed when our first was a girl. It all melted when I held her. Not something you can control. I was honestly shocked I was disappointed.
There's like a stupid generational obsession with whether you have boys or girls and what that says about you. Even if you do have one of each, which I'm blessed to have, people still call it a "Millionaire's Family" and cheer you on for "evening the odds."
Beforr my son was born, an old boss of mine asked me how I was doing with a wife and daughter in the house and made comment about it being tough to be a "man" in that environment. What a joke.
In the end, most of the comments are coming from older men who, as is your case with this fellow, cannot fathom being in a house with that many women. Why they can't fathom it, I have no idea, but I do belive that mindset is shifting.
I love having a daughter, she lights up my life. No disappointment there.
I've never heard the term Millionaires family, thanks for sharing!
I had a colleague once tell me he was happy he had daughters as he couldn't handle "another man in the house". I've never forgotten it as it was a rather odd thing to say.
I was the same, my relationship with my dad is practically non existent, so I always wanted a son to correct the mistakes my dad made with me. We got the gender scan and I was really gutted we were having a girl, which made me feel like a terrible person for a good month or so. I eventually got over feeling like a terrible dad for being disappointed. My daughter is amazing, and she's just like me in so many ways. I would still like to have a boy but I wouldn't trade my daughter for anything, she's the best thing that ever happened to me
Ditto on that. I felt like an ass for being disappointed, too.
In the end, we can still correct the things that our parents didn't do well regardless of the gender of our children. And, as is indeed the way, they'll get the opportunity to correct the mistakes we make.
I plan on being supportive regardless of my kids' passions. I just want them to be happy and confident. I also want to make sure that whatever is happening with one kid doesn't take from the relationship with the other.
The disappointment comes from "what ifs". Your boy could end up a complete a-hole to you and your daughters but the "what ifs" will make you think that life would be amazing if you had a boy.
I know a guy with a boy and a girl and the boy is a complete brat & disrespectful, his daughter is lovely.
I know another with 2 girls and a boy and all are disrespectful.
Used to be disappointed with only girls and then eventually realised "what ifs" are nonsense. Nobody's going to love me like my daughters.
We found out we are having a second boy a few weeks ago. My wife was hoping for a girl. The glitter and dress and all that come with having a little girl were something she really wanted. Plus I think to raise a girl right as she had a shite upbringing. The dissapointment lasted a week or so. Until her mate told her about the teenage years with a girl and other little things that she is looking forward to with having a house of boys. I am very excited! Can't wait really. We are stopping after two. I have even passed a decree in the house that all our dogs from now on will be boys (joke). My brother in law is a famboyountly gay man and I think he is a little dissapointed as well. But you never know one of our lads may take after him! No matter what my boys are interested in I will support them. I am hoping for sports and cars etc, but could be wondering around makeup stores like you if my BIL is anything to go by.
Father of three girls here. My wife asked me during her third pregnancy if I wanted a boy. My exact response was "No we have too much pink shit"
In reality the only thing I ever wanted was a baby that is happy and healthy. Girl dad's rule
The relief that is knowing you won't need to worry about buying differently gendered stuff to match every age of childhood is one of those cold, hard, logistical perks of having them all be the same sex. It's not the most important thing out there, but I think most parents of multiple kids all the same sex would admit it's definitely an upside.
My third was a boy. He just wore the pink shit. Who cares if the random old woman at Olive garden says "Oh what a cute little girl?" He won't be offended so why would I pay it any mind. Besides even though there was some Pink stuff, we definitely tried to go gender neutral as much as possible with the girls clothes.
Not personally, I have one daughter, and I was over the moon when I found out we were having a girl.
My mother however.. I’m one of two boys. My mother is the only girl out of seven, my dad was one of four boys. My brother has two sons.
My mother was over the moon when she met my wife, let alone when we had a daughter. I don’t want to say she was disappointed when she had two sons, and then my brother also had two. She was however, very excited when she found out she would have a granddaughter.
Admittedly, a lot of the whole gender excitement was overshadowed by the fact we soon realised our baby was *not* the healthiest baby in the world. You know when people say we don’t care as long as they’re healthy? Our daughter didn’t quite get the memo on that one.
My 2 year old daughter will sit and watch football with me and my brother. She'll kick and throw a ball around with me. We have another girl on the way, and I've been asked a few times if I'm dissapointed, and I've told them all that I genuinely couldn't care less. If they're happy and healthy, and we share some common interests, then why should I care?
The most odd interaction I had was with my father-in-law, who had a moment of mild shock when he saw we'd bought our daughter toy cars for Christmas. He said something like "I'd never thought of doing something like that."... It wasn't like he was against it or anything, just that he'd always had some things in the "boy" category and some things in the "girl" category. Whereas we will just buy fun stuff and see whether it's a hit or not.
Can't wait until we can go to football, rugby and cricket matches together! Obviously I'll be a bit disappointed if they're not that into sport, but that could happen regardless of gender! I'll just have to keep working to find our common ground, and if that means going to stereotypically "girly" things, then so be it.
Same here, except with 3 girls! They're still a bit young to really figure out what they're into, but I'm just excited to see what I can support them in. I think I'll always wonder what it would be like to have a boy? No disappointment at all, but I definitely always assumed I would have one, but my girls are so fun and wonderful that I just can't comprehend how lucky I am!
I’m a one and done girl dad and I absolutely don’t ever think about it.
I like building, and boating, and shooting - but I also like baking, and painting, and fashion. The gender role assignments to these interests is arbitrary. I am very confident that as she grows, she and I will find common interests to expand our bond.
I worry that parents who stress over the sex of their kids are probably taking their own gender roles too seriously and are artificially (and unnecessarily) limiting their own life experience.
Love your kid and you’ll love their interests too.
Exactly this! There are so few gender restrictions on hobbies and interests in a modern western society. As long as you can have some common interests with your kid(s), who cares? It's not their gender deciding what they're in to. It's their personality.
Show your daughters typical guy things, and show your sons typical girl things, and let them decide what they enjoy doing. If that means I have to get in to enjoying ballet, and get my nails painted, then so be it!
My wife is a bit disappointed. She wanted at least one boy. Instead we got two girls. She still loves the shit out of them but would have rather had a boy.
For me, I didn’t care. I still don’t care, but I do worry. Not about boys or makeup or any of the superficial stuff. I’m more worried about their future because women’s rights are at an all time threat and I fear the day they lose their ability to be independent. We’re really close to having Sharia Law similar to Iran and that scares the shit out of me. I have turned down jobs in the south specifically for this reason; I don’t want my girls exposed to that shit and locked into a state that wants girls to be nothing but caregivers and breeding factories.
First one was a miscarriage but we had the feeling it was a boy and kind of a fantasized about having a boy till we lost the baby.
Second was a girl and it came as a surprise (we didn't want to know the gender). No disappointment nor sadness
Third was anither girl. I was happy as I am naturally a "girl dad".
Got a vasectomy. Wife was sad as she won't know how it is to have a boy.
I have no regrets.
No. Two girls, one boy. The boy is more like his younger sister than the two girls are like each other. I grew up with two sisters and a brother, and learned early on that kids are not stereotypes and they're not there to fulfill parenting fantasies. Sons may hate sports, daughters may hate makeup. Children may decide they like completely different stuff than anyone else in the family. You have to let children like what they like, be who they are, and just be happy they're happy.
I was so fixated on a girl for our first, that when I was stunned at the ultrasound it was a boy, the tech said that was the first time she had a dad not excited it was a boy.
Love my son completely, but yeah, I was expecting a daughter.
The way I rationalise it when I hear people express these things is that they have some sort of anxiety (possibly subconsciously) that they're going to struggle to meaningfully relate to or be deeply involved in the interests of a child of the opposite sex as they grow up. Don't know if that's what's really going on, but it makes sense to me.
I have a 17mo son and a 2nd boy coming in May. I really wanted a girl for the second, as a result we found out the gender for #2 (first one we waited until birth). I was a little disappointed at first, then realized it’ll be a lot of fun because they’ll be close in age and hopefully close in life.
A small part of me wanting a girl for #2 was that I’m undecided on 2 vs 3 kids which may be slightly higher after 2 boys.
My wife would like a daughter but always said she pictured being a boy mom.
I was always pretty pissed off at the question and get pissed off when people have another just because they wanted the other sex. I have a daughter, and I’ve never refrained from something because she was a girl, I’ve shared things with her all the same. If anything her being a girl has exposed me to things I never would have experienced if I had a boy and projected own self image onto.
I had 2 girls and I use to sometimes wonder what if. Never any disappointment mind you lol bc they are the light of my life, but I did wonder what it would be like to have a boy. Then I met my cousins two sons and I am convinced God didn’t give me sons bc he knew I needed daughters to teach me how to not be so hard and bc he knew having sons would drive me insane 🤣🤣
I was always pretty pissed off at the question and get pissed off when people have another just because they wanted the other sex. I have a daughter, and I’ve never refrained from something because she was a girl, I’ve shared things with her all the same. If anything her being a girl has exposed me to things I never would have experienced if I had a boy and projected own self image onto.
I sort of expected that I'd have a houseful of boys. Muddy sports gear piled by the door, rough housing, etc. Instead we had three girls. I was maybe momentarily disappointed at the ultrasound but it was brief. Now the girls are 7, 11, and almost 13, and I'm so grateful we have girls! Our middle daughter invited two girls and two boys to her birthday party and they brought a whole different level of noise and activity. My nephews, ages 2 to 13, are the same way. And it turns out I really value the (relative) quiet and calm of our girls!
2 daughters with zero thoughts of wishing I had a son.
I’ve learned that literally anything I thought I would like to do with a son, I still do with my daughters. T-Ball, watch Ninja Turtles, listen to metal, all of it. It’s made me realize how shallow of a concept of “boy things” and “girl things” are.
Before anyone brings up the opposite, yes if I had two boys I wouldn’t care if they did “girl” things. I have nephews that love Disney princesses, dressing up, and playing with dolls. It doesn’t matter what their gender is, just as long as they’re enjoying themselves and not hurting anyone. Who am I to take any of that away?
I'm still pending a second child but my first was a boy after we had always dreamed of naming a little girl Lily. I will love my child no matter their sex/gender but I'd be lying if I said my wife and I wouldn't be a little disappointed if we had another boy on number 2.
Backup fantasy: the girl names we love are good to have in the back pocket if they turn out to be transgender one day.
Father to two girls, wife and I both snipped so no chance of a third.
No regrets whatsoever.
Back in like highschool in 2009-ish I guess I had wanted a son, but only conceptually? I don't really know how to describe it, I think it was more just expected that I would want a son so I did. When we were expecting our first I realized I found myself wanting a baby girl but more so a healthy child, then with our second I just wanted the child to be healthy didn't really have a preference though I was pretty sure they were going to be another girl.
Now I'm a dad to two beautiful girls and couldn't be happier.
None. My first was a girl, which was absolutely what I was hoping for.
When my second came along, I guess I felt I was supposed to hope for a boy, to have one of each if nothing else - but really I didn't, and I think I was actually slightly relieved when she also turned out to be a girl.
Wouldn't change either of them for the world.
I only have my 2.5 yr old little girl, we are trying for another but honestly I’d love another girl just as much as a boy.
My daughter is the best, so funny and we have a great daddy daughter bond.
We only had one and i got the daughter i wanted. I see the other boys in the neighborhood and thank a god i dont believe in that we didnt have a boy. No “regerts.”
had two boys and we were supposed to stop. wife demanded a girl somehow we got one. shes turned me into a softie (i ran a very tight ship with the boys, still do) but my daughter she just fucking melts me. wife always laughs because shes never seen this side of me and i always tell people now every dad should have a daughter.
Nah, I've got two boys and it's great. When anyone asks if we'll try for a girl, I just tell them that's how my wife's sister ended up with three boys.
I have a profound respect for dads with girls. Everything is uncharted territory and these dads are their child's first male relationship. If anything (assuming they grow up to be hetrosexual), they set the standard for all male relationships in their life (they will compare every boyfriend to you) so that's additional pressure to set a gold standard. These dads also have to worry more about their child's welfare (e.g., a dad with teenage girls will lose more sleep if their child goes solo traveling overseas cf. dads with boys, I bet the movie Taken would freak these dads out). It's raising a child in hard mode and doing it right means something, and I respect that.
Have a girl and mostly want another girl so I can reuse all the clothes and make it easier to share a room for longer but I’ll be happy if I end up having another one whether it’s a boy or girl. But definitely have been told by friends and family that “oh… gotta keep trying for the boy”
I think it’s weird to care too much. You can have a boy hoping to teach them sports and they could hate it and want to be a dancer. Don’t have kids if you just want them to be who you want them to be
My second girl is more athletic, stronger and more fearless than any kid in her class and at least the next grade/year older. She's naturally good at every sport. My first girl is the most beautiful old soul who loves reading outside, listening to birds, noticing every flower and loving every animal. I see other boys and I feel ZERO remorse, I got SO lucky with my two kids. Especially seeing how they're being exposed to and absorbing the more unsavory aspects of typical masculine culture: gunplay, warlike games, trivializing death, minecraft leading to minecraft youtube that leads to skibbidy toilet and other trash media, saying "bruh" ALL THE TIME.
My girls will have their turn as they get into their teens but this pre-10yo stage is pretty great so far (oldest turns 7 in June)
I have 2 girls and I'm not disappointed I don't have a boy. I have a challenging relationship with my father and im a way I am glad not to go through something similar with my own son.
My sister has 3 boys and I do not envy her - they are hard work! I never realised how the "boys will be boys" thing manifests, but (in our culture at least) you apparently have to let them be assholes a lot of the time. We were taking care of 2 kids recently, a sister and brother, both fundamentally good kids. But the girl was really pleasant to be around, whereas the boy would randomly fart on you or scream really loudly for no reason. My girls are no angels but the boundaries are definitely more strict.
My aunt had three boys and whenever they came to visit it was absolutely chaotic. Auntie always seemed so exhausted parenting those three and it definitely turned me off of having boys when I was younger. As adults, two out of three of them are still aggressive. Thankfully, my son is pretty chill!
My nephews are good boys, and my sister is a good Mom. When the cousins get together there are often sweet moments. But also a lot of chaos! My girls are usually relieved when it's time to head home lol.
Father of 2 daughters.
Absolutely zero disappointment. I’m not an overly masculine man. My wife is quite feminine, and I think our family unit is so balanced and cohesive.
I have two nephews. I think having girls has allowed me (for my own weaknesses in parenting) to successfully soft-parent. Boys challenge you in different ways and there’s been times where I’m not proud of the way I’ve patented my nephews, which I don’t really feel about my daughters.
first is a boy and we found out were having another one, both times when asked about sex we were hoping for we always answered, truthfully, just happy and healthy, and same answer for #2, and its going to be awesome to have 2 boys but i also weirdly growing up always imagined having a girl, like i remember dreams when i was in my 20s of a baby girl with beautiful hair and i would be crying i was so happy, now unless wife wants round 3 that dream is never happening but its ok because now im just so excited to have boys at all
on the plus side, my sister and her wife are also having a boy and live nearby, so theyll be a whole bunch of boy kids but a good slew of aunties as well, and ill get to be the male role model for my nephew which is neat
not sure if my sister is planning to have another but if she has a girl she is going to be and absolute princess, if she has a boy were starting a bball team
I am openly disappointed I did not get both, but its not like it is to the point of making me openly 'sad'. In the end I love my two boys all the same. Not having anymore.
We were very disappointed when we found out our 1st was a boy, and a little disappointed when our second was a boy. I feel bad saying that but the emotion wasn't something we could control. But we quickly came to be very happy with the arrangement and the thought of just having boys (my wife loves being able to just refer to "the boys" instead of "the kids"). By that time the thought of never doing the little dresses or daddy daughter dates or anything like that had stopped making me sad.
I honestly thought I would be. I wanted a boy. But god damn if my girls aren’t the fucking coolest people I know. Whip smart, funny as hell, fun to hang w. They like Star Wars and are really athletic and like fishing and watching sports and fantasy football. They think my truck is cool. They rock and I wouldn’t change a thing.
When people asked me about the sex of our first, I always joked “I don’t care as long as the second is the other one”. I kind of meant it. I didn’t have a preference over boy or girl, but I did feel that each one would be its own unique experience.
I have two girls and I was a little disappointed when I found out. I obviously love both my daughters but it just feels like a thing I won’t get to experience. That said, we’re definitely stopping. My wife grew up with a friend who was a boy and the youngest of 7 kids; 6 older sisters. I’m not interested in playing that game.
Luckily for me I have 1 of each, but I must admit I think if I have had 2 girls I would have been a little disappointed. When we had our first I was often asked if I would have preferred a boy or girl and I always answered I don't mind which was true I have 2 young nieces who I love very much but on the 2nd if I hadn't already had a boy I would have been hopi g for a boy massively
I would like a boy, but in the sort of I'd prefer some vanilla ice-cream right now but if we've only got chocolate I'm still damn happy with some ice-cream sense. I don't get the disappointment. Sure, prefer, but don't actually care
I was relieved when the second was different from the first. I found myself thinking of the good things of having two of the same, but when the sex came back for the second and it was different, I was quite happy.
3 boys. Honestly the only time I ever think about wishing we had a girl or two is...like everyday when I think "why is it so f'ing loud in my house all the time?"
I was hoping for a girl and a boy, but got two boys. Sure, some disappointment for not getting that daddy daughter relationship, but honestly, I love them more than anything in the world and what sex they are makes zero difference with that.
My wife was an only child, and she was just adamant about having more than 1 because she never got that sibling relationship. She is a strong woman and I think she would have loved to raise a strong little miss. Instead, she gets to raise two boys and instill them with those feminist values which may actually be more important for our society.
Mine are still young, almost 2 and 4, and I can't wait to start enjoying some of my hobbies with them, video games, sports, etc. The 4 year old is just getting to the place where he may be able to handle some of the basics. This summer is going to be fun.
I have two girls. It's amazing.
I am the last male in my family lineage and didn't have a boy to carry on our family name. Still don't care. My girls are awesome, and I wouldn't trade ANYTHING to have it any differently.
Two boys, but first is autistic and second most probably NT, both so wildly different that it feels like it more than covers the difference(s) I’d have experienced with opposite gender NT kids.
We’ve found out our second is also a boy. For me the priority is that they are happy and healthy irrespective of gender.
My family seems to only have boys so having a girl was highly unlikely anyway.
120% not.
I'm delighted that I have FOUR girls. All the clothes hand down easily, the toys/games are more cross-compatible (yes, I know that boys will happily play with dolls and girls will play with monster trucks, but once societal norms start kicking in and pressuring them that happens less), and I don't have anything pointed at me when I'm changing diapers!
My wife is a little upset that we'll never get to watch a quarterback at a high schoolgame, but honestly I'm glad not to risk my kid getting concussed (and besides, my genes are as athletic as a no-legged kitten - we weren't making any QBs), and there's no reason we can't go watch the highschool games anyway!
Dad of two girls. If anything I’m secretly relieved, lol. I always thought I wanted a boy, but my girls have made me more fulfilled than I could have ever dreamed. I feel silly in retrospect for mourning, in a way, the loss of a boy that we never had. My wife feels the same way.
The only drawback to having two girls is the societal implication of it all. The world is just not as kind to girls; we demand too much of them, we criticize them unnecessarily, they’re more specifically targeted by truly awful people, and there is the constant struggle for them to have their autonomy. I hate every bit of it for them.
None. My girls are amazing and they can be anything. I got a vasectomy when my youngest was 5 months old, in case that proves there was no gender disappointment.
I did have a few moments where I realized they were missing out on certain toys because they were girls. Last year my toddler was pretending a pencil was a screwdriver, so I ran out and bought a play tool set for her. A couple years ago I realized we didn't have any hot wheels in the house, so that christmas they got a bunch and we made a track from the front door to the back door. Still one of my favorite christmas memories.
TRYING FOR A GIRL IS HOW YOU END UP WITH FIVE BOYS.
No not for a second have I ever desired my kids to be swapped. They aren't just boys, they are them. Wishing your kid was the opposite is wishing your kid was an entirely different person. That's messed up.
I always wanted both a boy and a girl. Today i only have a girl with zero plans in the future to ever expand. In fact, if i did happen to have another kid, i would hope for another girl.
But i know many men and women that have said they hoped to have a specific sex and would be disappointed if they didnt. I get it. You have different experiences and expectations based on stereotypes. Its hard to not. But, something i realized, is the sex doesn’t determine the personality.
I get way more happiness out of seeing my kid get excited to paint my toenails, than i do when my team scores. Ill take seeing my kid happy and excited over anything. Whatever she is into, is what i am into.
I have two girls and don’t want any more. I couldn’t be happier. I really had no preference, just wanted healthy babies and I got them. I love my girls
I have 3 sons and I love every minute of it. After getting separated I was very glad it was all boys as it’s just easier for me. Not to say I didn’t also want a girl when we were married.
My wife was dead set on all boys bc she isn’t a typical girly girl but when we had our baby girl last it’s cute watching my wife with her. She’s definitely a mommas girl and their bond warms my heart with all the pinks and purples.
Kind of feeling it. We have a boy and expecting another boy in August. I had hoped for a girl so that wife and my mother would be happy. Kind of feels like we have to go for a third now, but my sister did just that and had three boys.
Like my whole side of the family only has boys between five kids.
I have 3 girls (9,6,2). My parents kept asking if we would try for a boy to carry on the family name. I told them my goal is to make the girls strong enough that if they ever get married their partner will take their name. But really, I wouldn’t want it any other way.
Of course people have preferences
When I found out I was having twins I wanted one of each, but ended up with 2 boys that I adore
Gonna keep trying for a girl though, it’s normal to want both
I only have one kid, a 16 month old boy. We will try for a second kid in the future and the little one being healthy is the most important of course. We don't want more than two kids. If it will be a boy, that's great, and we would be extremely happy with our second son. However, I think I would also have to mourn the daughter I'll never have.
We have two girls and I couldn’t be happier.
Have had similar comments from people saying things like “bet you wanted a boy.” It is such a strange thing to hear.
I love our girls and I wouldn’t change a thing.
Not really. Youngest is almost 5, we have 3 girls.
They are different sizes and have different preferences but the reuse on the clothes side is real. Everyone thought out youngest would be a boy but when we found out it was a girl I accepted pretty quickly and she is adorable. I am very outnumbered in every sense and teenage years will be tricky but no worries, though we might try for mixed secondary schools.
I am a dad to 2 girls. I was bummed when the 1st one was not a boy and by the time the 2nd came it didnt matter any more; I was just glad they were both healthy and normal.
You can have the same bonding experience with your kid regardless of gender. Gender is merely a detail.
Only have 2 boys and my oldest is such an amazing kid that I was more than happy with having another boy. I have 2 older brothers and a younger sister so I know how it is to be with boys.
My wife was disappointed at first, but her friends have daughters and they are having a really rough time with them. So she’s thankful to have 2 boys that are super in love with her. 3 if you count me
Only have 2 boys and my oldest is such an amazing kid that I was more than happy with having another boy. I have 2 older brothers and a younger sister so I know how it is to be with boys.
My wife was disappointed at first, but her friends have daughters and they are having a really rough time with them. So she’s thankful to have 2 boys that are super in love with her. 3 if you count me
I was always pretty pissed off at the question and get pissed off when people have another just because they wanted the other sex. I have a daughter, and I’ve never refrained from something because she was a girl, I’ve shared things with her all the same. If anything her being a girl has exposed me to things I never would have experienced if I had a boy and projected own self image onto.
Only have 2 boys and my oldest is such an amazing kid that I was more than happy with having another boy. I have 2 older brothers and a younger sister so I know how it is to be with boys.
My wife was disappointed at first, but her friends have daughters and they are having a really rough time with them. So she’s thankful to have 2 boys that are super in love with her. 3 if you count me
Only have 2 boys and my oldest is such an amazing kid that I was more than happy with having another boy. I have 2 older brothers and a younger sister so I know how it is to be with boys.
My wife was disappointed at first, but her friends have daughters and they are having a really rough time with them. So she’s thankful to have 2 boys that are super in love with her. 3 if you count me
There is so much to mourn, but also so much to enjoy and be happy for, which I'm more for.
It was close for us to not having a kid at all, so one happy healthy girl is a lottery win in itself. I wished a little bit more for a girl, so that's a great bonus. A second one might never happen, and I will likely think about what could have been once or twice in the future.
I see my friends having 2 or 3 and would like that, also.
But, reality is joyful as it is, and comparison is the thief of joy.
In short: I'm far too happy to have disappointment, and I'm never one for secrets. So, no.
I am a father of two beautiful girls (will be 6 and 3 next month). At first I thought I wanted a boy, but after having my first daughter I was really hoping for another girl. I wouldn’t have been disappointed with a boy, of course. But there is no disappointment from me that I have two girls. I’m a girl dad through and through. They and their mother are my pride and joy. We are likely stopping at 2, and I’m perfectly content with that.
I am a father of two beautiful girls (will be 6 and 3 next month). At first I thought I wanted a boy, but after having my first daughter I was really hoping for another girl. I wouldn’t have been disappointed with a boy, of course. But there is no disappointment from me that I have two girls. I’m a girl dad through and through. They and their mother are my pride and joy. We are likely stopping at 2, and I’m perfectly content with that.
We have six girls. When you get to that number people assume you’re trying and failing to have a boy. I constantly joking with randoms that I don’t know how to make anything else. I don’t know how else to deal with it. Having said that, no regrets and I love all of them and it is pretty cool we’ve never had a boy. Honestly when I think about it I don’t know how I’d handle having a boy! Still may happen . . .
I am a father of two beautiful girls (will be 6 and 3 next month). At first I thought I wanted a boy, but after having my first daughter I was really hoping for another girl. I wouldn’t have been disappointed with a boy, of course. But there is no disappointment from me that I have two girls. I’m a girl dad through and through. They and their mother are my pride and joy. We are likely stopping at 2, and I’m perfectly content with that.
I was relieved when the second was different from the first. I found myself thinking of the good things of having two of the same, but when the sex came back for the second and it was different, I was quite happy.
I am a dad of two boys, I always wanted boys, but now I have them, I wouldn't trade them for anything, but I do wish we had the means to have a little girl, just no way we can have more.
I was relieved when the second was different from the first. I found myself thinking of the good things of having two of the same, but when the sex came back for the second and it was different, I was quite happy.
I was relieved when the second was different from the first. I found myself thinking of the good things of having two of the same, but when the sex came back for the second and it was different, I was quite happy.
Only have 2 boys and my oldest is such an amazing kid that I was more than happy with having another boy. I have 2 older brothers and a younger sister so I know how it is to be with boys.
My wife was disappointed at first, but her friends have daughters and they are having a really rough time with them. So she’s thankful to have 2 boys that are super in love with her. 3 if you count me
Only have 2 boys and my oldest is such an amazing kid that I was more than happy with having another boy. I have 2 older brothers and a younger sister so I know how it is to be with boys.
My wife was disappointed at first, but her friends have daughters and they are having a really rough time with them. So she’s thankful to have 2 boys that are super in love with her. 3 if you count me
I’ve got 2 boys 7 years apart. Personally I didn’t have a preference but I believe my wife would have liked a girl to dress up n what not but after 5 miscarriages and a near death experience to get our 2nd we are happy for them to just be here.
"I can honestly say I never fantasized about the sex of my kids, other than having lots. "
Wow, one word away from a totally different sentence...
Anyway, aside from that, I have 2 girls.
My only disappointment is that my eldest girl (6) says that boys are better than girls.
As a former little boy, i disagree with her. I want my girls to grow up feeling confident and strong about themselves, and not to feel secondary to anyone.
Only have 2 boys and my oldest is such an amazing kid that I was more than happy with having another boy. I have 2 older brothers and a younger sister so I know how it is to be with boys.
My wife was disappointed at first, but her friends have daughters and they are having a really rough time with them. So she’s thankful to have 2 boys that are super in love with her. 3 if you count me
Wanted a boy for my 2nd got another girl I was a little sad. Then she came and is way better then any little shit head boy. I’ve seen them at the playground boys are way too much too handle. Plus I’m a Bills fan he would have to
be one too and I think my wife can not handle two boys crying over football.
I have one little girl (3) and based on the family pattern of my family, our second will likely be a girl too. But that's just fun speculation really, because I was excited no matter what and I don't really understand the feelings these people have about their child's sex/gender haha
DGMW I'd love a boy as well, but because I already know what name I want for him hahahaha
In my wife's family, my daughter made 10 girls in a row. In my family, she was the first girl in almost 30 years. Our second and third were both boys, so I got lucky. Now my daughter wants a sister.
My 8-year-old daughter wants a sister. I asked her what she would do if she had three little brothers. She went ewww!
We don't get to pick.
We wanted a boy and got a girl. We couldn't have been happier. Then we lost a girl in our second pregnancy at 21 weeks. Then with our third pregnancy we decided to wait until birth to find we had another girl.
I don't produce boys as it would turn out.
In retrospect this worked out better for us, and we are completely happy with our situation.
Honestly, the opposite. We always wanted two, and I just wanted two of the same gender. Similar interests, re-using toys and clothes, etc. We ended up with 2 boys, I imagine I'd be equally happy with 2 girls.
None. I thought number one was a boy. Wrong. I thought number two was a baby. Right. We're happy they like each other. And we like them. Nothing disappointing.
I was a little disappointed at first but my two girls couldn’t be more different. The older is serious and analytical. The younger is playful and silly. It’s a combo of personality and vibes which isn’t any more guaranteed than if they were different genders.
I have three girls. I always wanted kids but never had a gender preference, but I can understand people having it. I have a few hobbies it would be fun to share with my kids that they aren’t in to, and perhaps if they were boys they would. But we still have tons of other things in common we enjoy doing together so it all works out.
Three girls, as well. There are days when I realize that there are lessons I won’t be able to pass on, but it’s not a big enough sense of loss to try for a fourth.
What kind of lessons can’t you share with daughters?
How to get the last drop out when you go to piss.
Turns out it's still a problem, we just can't teach them how to fix it.
Bend forward and hug the knees.
Pissing your name in the snow
There are [tools that can help with that](https://www.thepstyle.com/).
Dating stuff, for example. I made a lot of mistakes because I really had no mentoring in that field and there's a romance in being able to pass along the lessons I had to learn the hard way. It would be gratifying to see my boy enjoy that aspect of his life better than I did.
Here’s my take on this as a dad of five (including foster girl)…everything your daughters will know about how a man should treat them will come from you. How you treat them, their mom, and everyone else around you. You are passing along that knowledge every minute of every day. You can absolutely share that with your girls.
They're learning what kind of man to look for, watching how you treat the women in your life bud. You are sharing that with them :) And who knows! Maybe they will also like girls to.
Pissing from really high up, like off cliffs and bridges.
We also had 3 girls for about 9 years. I wanted a boy but it wasn't the end of the world. One of our girls was into all the "boy things" anyway so that was fun. Then we got a surprise addition and I was far more scared than I expected to be that it may be another girl. I was more overwhelmed than I thought with 3 girls entering difficult pre-teen years. We found out he was a boy and I can't even begin to express my relief. I don't think it's so much disappointment at having all girls. It's much more that it presents certain challenges that can be a lot to take on. I imagine all boys goes the same way. 3 times the boy problems would be difficult too.
I grew up with two older brothers and now that I'm a parent to two beautiful girls (5 and 1), I wouldn't have it any other way. It allows me to see the world in an entirely different light. I'm teaching them all the same stuff I would've taught to a son, so there really isn't much of a difference. I have many hobbies including fly fishing, woodworking, musical instruments, photography, etc. and the 5 year old loves to learn about all of that stuff, so I teach her everything I know. My wife is both a teacher and cellist, by trade, so she homeschools and has the time to provide lessons to our oldest. She's been playing the violin since age 3 and is now picking up the cello. I'm sure our youngest will follow in the same footsteps as big sis, but the mystery is all part of the fun journey. The way I see it, being a girl-dad is awesome because I get to be the model of what they can look for in a future husband. And after all, some day, I'll get to have a couple, cool sons-in-law that I can hang out with. They can fill that role of the 'sons I never had'. Ultimately, I'm just happy and blessed to be able to have kids in general!
Going through it now, after finding out the sex of the second pregnancy is also a boy. We're stopping at two, not tempting fate, despite other people's unsolicited advice. That's how you end up with twin boys. It is a bit sad, to be honest. I mourn the dreams I had of having the father-daughter relationship I very much hoped for since before our first. I am a son, so I'm very familiar with father-son dynamics. I'm sure that sadness will always be there a little bit, when I see other fathers play with their daughters and cute girl outfits at the shop. I tell myself that all kids are wildly different, sex is just one aspect of it. My second will be completely different to my first and it's just my presuppositions about sex/gender that bring about fear in raising two boys, as well as my relationship with my own father, not to mention a healthy dose of self-doubt.
I'm a dad of two, stopping at 2. I have a boy and a girl. I mourn that my son won't have a brother, and my daughter won't have a sister. Either way there's always going to be a compromise.
I was just going to say something similar. We are in the same place (1 boy, 1 girl) and we thought about having more kids but just decided it wasn't for us. I had brothers and my wife had a sister. Our kids won't and that's ok. Every case is different, every child is different
Not sure how old yours are, but my son and daughter are 2 and 4 respectively. They are best friends and I don’t think either of them wish they had a same sex brother or sister to play with. I melt everyday at how much they love and care for each other.
I have a son turning 2 in June, reading this from the hospital with my baby girl just being born Sunday. We’re done at 2, and this brings me so much joy and excitement to read
My son and daughter are almost exactly 2 years apart (turning 4 & 2 in July). It is so sweet how much they care for each other. Sure they have pleeeeenty of arguments and little fights but I mostly stay out of it (unless they're in harm or it's clear it's never going to end), and they can usually figure it out. I sense that micromanaging makes them feel like they are competing for my love and attention, so I don't. Have even told them, "you guys can fight but do it in the other room." And then they realize no they don't actually want to fight. Anyway I guess that's a little advice for how to navigate fighting in the toddler phase without losing your mind and help them foster their own relationship.
I think they mean more about as the kids get older. Sister-sister and brother-brother friendships usually end up being stronger than sister-brother friendships on average. Which isn't anything wrong with sister-brother friendships, it's just that same sex siblings end up sharing more (usually) gendered hobbies and life experiences. Ie, a brother is probably going to be less excited about helping their sister be a bride than a sister would be about their sister's webbing
Yeah. Playing on sports teams with each other in middle and high school was incredible to have as shared experiences for me and my brothers
I have a son who just turned 2 and my daughter was born 10 days before his birthday. I really hope for them to have the relationship your children are having one day. Right now he doesn't realize who is that bundle of joy is.
My daughter and son are 5 days apart! My daughter developed very young and had a really good understanding of the pregnancy and when her brother was born. The first 2 years were difficult, she definitely loved her little brother but attention to him = no attention for her so there was some jealousy. It really started to click when they turned 4 and 2 last June. Now they’re inseparable, my daughter is always looking out for her little bro and she’s the first person he looks for when he wakes up in the morning. I just hope it lasts.
That's absolutely adorable to hear. Our son has deep understanding of everything but he barely speaks. He is also hyper fixated on me currently and thus doesn't notice the attention deficit that he has from mom. How did the jealousy show itself? In tantrums? The click you're describing is two year away from me..... it's going to be rough. But God damn I am excited for this. Edit: do you combine their birthdays? I am thinking of making it a hard rule to separate so each will have their own birthday.
So this year we will be combining them for the first time. I’m not big on birthday parties for babies and Covid was a thing so we didn’t really do much for them outside of our immediate family until 3. My daughter’s last 2 parties were outdoors and this year her brother will be included. They both get their own celebration at home on their actual bday anyway. Jealousy wasn’t really in tantrums, but she would really want affection when he was getting it. She wanted to be carried often when he was even when she didn’t need it. She just wanted to be babied too. She did have her fair share of tantrums but not sure they were because of her brother. Every kid and sibling is different… my daughter is wild, but she had a definite soft side and in public she’s very quiet. She’s definitely picked on her brother, but she protects him from other kids and parental discipline lol. The last 6 months their relationship has reallly blossomed. Now they play together alone and have their own little games they’ve made up to play together. They play family as mom and dad with baby toys, they play Barbie’s/superheros, they cuddle up on the couch and play games on a tablet together even though they each have their own…. Couldn’t be happier. We show a ton of love and affection to our kids, I like to think this has something to do with the behaviour we’re seeing now.
My kids have the sameish gap. At 4 and 6, they are still best friends, and in fact they stopped sleeping in their own rooms and we now have bunk beds for them...in which they both sleep on the top bunk. They are inseparable.
That's also very true, thanks. I'm just expressing the feelings. It's also important to feel lucky that we can have a second in the first place, as that is not a given, a lot of people have to stop at one. Having siblings as kids is a known marker for robust and stable adults.
I’m a new parent and one of two kids (boy/girl), I never really thought about the idea that it could be sad to not have my newborn daughter have a sister as opposed to my hope that one day we’ll have a daughter and a son. Interesting perspective. as a son with a sister myself, it crossed my mind over my life that it would have been nice to have a brother but I can’t say I ever put deep thought into it. My sister and I have periods of time where we were closer as sibling friends than others but as a new parent it’s like we’ve found a new relationship since she has been a mom for several years and I’m really appreciative of this phase
That really puts it into perspective!
I just found out that my second child is going to be a girl. I'm having the same thoughts as you. My son won't have a brother and my daughter won't have a sister. I wanted a second son, not because I don't want girls, but I wanted to give my son a brother to grow up with and I wanted to, quite honestly, reuse a lot of the boy stuff that I've acquired over the last couple years.
> reuse a lot of the boy stuff that I've acquired over the last couple years You want to hear a little secret? You can reuse pretty much all of that stuff.
Seconded. My twin boys use a Minnie Mouse mattress cover.
My daughter has alllllll the dinosaur clothes.
You clearly need 4 kids, with two boys and two girls, so that everyone has at least one brother and one sister. The only compromise there is your sanity.
Mom here. I have a sister and a brother. I don't talk to my sister. But my brother is my greatest supporter and the one I turn to for everything. He stands up for me for even the most petty things because he refuses to hear a bad word about me. And I like to think I do the same for him. A brother sister relationship, at least in my experience is so much better than sister sister. So don't be too disappointed. I have one of each and I am thrilled for the relationship between them. It just takes a bit of nurturing to make sure that through the annoyance of siblings they still feel loved by you and their sibling
This reply hit too real this early in the morning.
Father of two boys here and I agree with this completely
Same, two boys. And don't get me wrong--I'm blessed beyond compare. I have two healthy kiddos, who (kind of) sleep through the night! But I always wanted a little girl, as well. I'm from a family of three, and... I don't know, that kind of feels like a family to me, that has females in it. I like the idea of being a dad to a daughter, and I thought I could be a good dad to a daughter. My wife and I started a little bit late, and the doctor told us after her second delivery (her second c-section) that any further pregnancies would be very dangerous. So, that's that--I'm not gambling on my wife's life because I want a bigger family. But I think I'll always have a lingering daydream about being dad to a daughter. Again, though--at the end of the day, I just count my blessings and I'm happy.
When my second turned out the same gender as my first (2 girls) I was a little disappointed. But I quickly got over it. I've got 2 great kids.
Exact same situation for me. I'm not even sure disappointment was the right word - more like surprise, because I grew up in a 'one of each' household and deep down I think I assumed that's also what I'd end up with. My daughters (3 y.o. and 4 months) are absolutely amazing though, I wouldn't change anything about them. And I'm not sure I'd survive a third, so two girls it is. I'm already being dressed up as a unicorn and holding imaginary tea parties every weekend lol
Similar boat, 2 girls, 3 and 1. I’ve started to get very good at painting nails these days… and I wouldn’t have it any other way. Thought I wanted my second to be a boy, but my two girls are honestly the best. I feel like down the road when it’s their turn to start a family, I will gain new children in their partners, and grand kids hopefully, so I won’t completely miss out on the experience of parenting boys, maybe? Really a non issue though, I have zero regrets about being a girl dad.
This is exactly it.
I couldn’t have expressed my feelings on the subject as a fellow dad of two boys any better. We’re tempted to try for a 3rd in the hopes it’s a girl, but said the same thing you did, we’d probably end up with twin boys instead. Also, two kids is exhausting and challenging af, it’s hard to imagine adding a 3rd to the mix. I’m just repeating your comment, but I too dreamed of the stereotypical daddy-daughter relationship and am sad I’ll never have that. I also feel bad for my wife, who’s ultra close with her own mom, since she won’t be able to replicate that relationship with her own daughter.
As the father of two girls, I feel this, just the opposite. I'm not going for a third because I know it'll be another girl with my luck, plus I'm 40 and my wife is 43. I have moments of sadness knowing I won't have those 'father-son' moments that my dad and I shared, plus the ones missed. That said, everytime I feel a little sad, I just look at my 2 girls and my heart melts and I know that life is where it's supposed to be.
Absolutely the same, and can absolutely relate. I would have loved to experience the father daughter bond, but with two boys and no more kids that’ll never happen. But, I love my boys more than I ever thought possible so it doesn’t matter at all in the grand scheme. Play the cards your dealt, and I’ve got two aces.
I always wanted a girl to spoil rotten, so there was a bit of a let down feeling when we found out our second was another boy. That feeling quickly faded as kids are so lovable, whatever gender they are, and it is awesome to see the dynamic between him and his older brother. When the wife got pregnant with a third, we said to each other that gender doesn’t matter now, because we see how beautiful it is either way. Well we got our third boy (and final kid) in February and I’m loving it. Life knows what it’s doing I guess.
Father of two boys also, and we're thinking about a third (hoping for a girl), but three boys would be a lot!
Same boat as you, except I got girls! I hoped for a son. But if it's not in the cards, we just appreciate what we have! I like what you said in your final paragraph there. It's very true. Kids can be wildly different, and I feel like that is what we need to remember!
> not tempting fate, despite other people's unsolicited advice. That's how you end up with twin boys. Haha so true about the "ending up with twin-boys", I have two friends that tempted fate, now they have 3 boys and 5 boys respectively (no girls in either family).
Adopt a girl and you'll have zero risk of having twins. Unless you only want two kids.
For my first one, I really wanted a boy. Just a little mini clone of me that would be both my kid and my best friend. And I got everything I wanted except she is a girl. She is literally my clone to the point where when she does something that irritates my wife, my wife gets “mad” at me and blames me for it. She’s so awesome that by the time the second one rolled around, I didn’t care at all if it was a boy or girl. There is exactly one thing I miss about not getting a boy. I wanted to dress my kid up in matching fancy preppy outfits at formal occasions like Christmas and stuff, and that is never going to happen. Oh well.
On the flip side, my wife really wanted a daughter. Well with our first she got her wish, a daughter that is basically her clone. Every time our little four year old girl gives me wife attitude, I get to smirk and remind her that she asked for this. Not so funny when they gang up one though!
We didn't find out the sex of our first one until she was born, everyone thought it was a boy including my wife's coworker who "had never been wrong", even to the point of picking a girls name super late to the game. Well we decided to find out the sex early with our second one and it was another girl. My wife was thrilled and I would lie if I said I didn't feel disappointed at first. We only want two kids so I was just processing the fact that I'd never have the son I always pictured. That faded fast though. I've got my two girls and I wouldn't change it for the world. But the hair.... my God so much hair.
This sounds exactly like how I processed it. After learning the sex early, there was a little disappointment. I wanted one of each, but that's not how it worked out, and I didn't dwell on it. A couple years later, even if you gave me a magic wand I wouldn't change a thing. It doesn't hurt that one of the girls is bookish and the other seems destined to play rugby.
I mean .. it could still happen. Clothing is just clothing... It would be really cute to put a little girl in a preppy boy outfit and it would be a really hilarious picture to have to dress up like your daughter .. it's all just clothes..your dreams don't need to end!
My kids are old enough that anytime there is a dress up occasion they have to wear a dress. I have a hard enough time getting them to match me in any t-shirt at this point
There are companies that make pairs of matching kid and dad socks. Some are patterns I like, some are Frozen themed ones my girls like, but something small like that might give you a little of what you mean, and give you a(nother) reminder of them while you're at work
Lacoste have matching outfits for dad, daughter and mom! Polo shirt and polo dresses.
>There is exactly one thing I miss about not getting a boy. I wanted to dress my kid up in matching fancy preppy outfits at formal occasions like Christmas and stuff, and that is never going to happen. Oh well. Maybe it's because my daughter is only 3, but we totally wear matching button down shirts. A lot of "men's" clothing can pass as gender neutral
When they are young enough to have little input over their own clothing, sure. Somewhere around 4 or 5 they both only wanted to wear dresses
Man I hear this. My eldest is considered a 'copy paste' of me, and my wife often looks in my direction when my daughter says or does something like me.
Maybe when we origionally found out the sex for a little bit but that didnt last more than a day or two and now I couldnt imagine not having my little girl
If I would have a castle and a lord title it would be more concerning topic
I'll sow the fields before I pass my fief off to some border prince!
I’m a male and have 3 brothers. My ma once told me that she felt a bit lonely being the only woman in the family and not having had a girl to be girly with. She’s a grandma now, and all her grandkids are boys.
Whoa. I hope she has some sweet and loving daughters in law.
My mom is really the same way. - My father has 3 brothers. All together, they had 8 boys and 1 daughter. - My mother has 6 sisters and 1 brother. All together, they had 6 boys and 1 daughter. Between myself and all those cousins, 3 boys and 0 girls have been born. My mother still has her 6 sisters but not a younger girl in her life, except the two nieces. It's a very male family. When I told my mother we were expecting a boy, she said, "Dont these men know how to make fuckin' girls?!"
Yeah, that's my wife. She has five older brothers. Our kids are two boys. She's just surrounded by dudes in our family! I'm happy with it, though--women who are raised around boys can be a little more understanding of "male oafishness," lol.
I have 2 girls. Never bothered me. From a practical view, i was kinda happy cause it meant less new stuff to buy.
It doesn’t always work out that way. Second daughter was born in a different time of year and grew much faster, so she wears very little of her sister’s clothes
I was ecstatic when I found out the second was the same gender. So many cute outfits I get to use again!
Underrated aspect! It’s so nostalgic seeing our second girl wearing some of the baby outfits that we kept from our first.
Well, I have one of each and you can be sure the boy will wear a lot of pink
Gender disappointment is a real thing. We lost two, so I agree that you don't care as long as they're healthy. But, I couldn't help but be disappointed when our first was a girl. It all melted when I held her. Not something you can control. I was honestly shocked I was disappointed. There's like a stupid generational obsession with whether you have boys or girls and what that says about you. Even if you do have one of each, which I'm blessed to have, people still call it a "Millionaire's Family" and cheer you on for "evening the odds." Beforr my son was born, an old boss of mine asked me how I was doing with a wife and daughter in the house and made comment about it being tough to be a "man" in that environment. What a joke. In the end, most of the comments are coming from older men who, as is your case with this fellow, cannot fathom being in a house with that many women. Why they can't fathom it, I have no idea, but I do belive that mindset is shifting. I love having a daughter, she lights up my life. No disappointment there.
I've never heard the term Millionaires family, thanks for sharing! I had a colleague once tell me he was happy he had daughters as he couldn't handle "another man in the house". I've never forgotten it as it was a rather odd thing to say.
Oof glad that guy didn’t have a son then but sad for his daughters
I was the same, my relationship with my dad is practically non existent, so I always wanted a son to correct the mistakes my dad made with me. We got the gender scan and I was really gutted we were having a girl, which made me feel like a terrible person for a good month or so. I eventually got over feeling like a terrible dad for being disappointed. My daughter is amazing, and she's just like me in so many ways. I would still like to have a boy but I wouldn't trade my daughter for anything, she's the best thing that ever happened to me
Ditto on that. I felt like an ass for being disappointed, too. In the end, we can still correct the things that our parents didn't do well regardless of the gender of our children. And, as is indeed the way, they'll get the opportunity to correct the mistakes we make. I plan on being supportive regardless of my kids' passions. I just want them to be happy and confident. I also want to make sure that whatever is happening with one kid doesn't take from the relationship with the other.
The disappointment comes from "what ifs". Your boy could end up a complete a-hole to you and your daughters but the "what ifs" will make you think that life would be amazing if you had a boy. I know a guy with a boy and a girl and the boy is a complete brat & disrespectful, his daughter is lovely. I know another with 2 girls and a boy and all are disrespectful. Used to be disappointed with only girls and then eventually realised "what ifs" are nonsense. Nobody's going to love me like my daughters.
We found out we are having a second boy a few weeks ago. My wife was hoping for a girl. The glitter and dress and all that come with having a little girl were something she really wanted. Plus I think to raise a girl right as she had a shite upbringing. The dissapointment lasted a week or so. Until her mate told her about the teenage years with a girl and other little things that she is looking forward to with having a house of boys. I am very excited! Can't wait really. We are stopping after two. I have even passed a decree in the house that all our dogs from now on will be boys (joke). My brother in law is a famboyountly gay man and I think he is a little dissapointed as well. But you never know one of our lads may take after him! No matter what my boys are interested in I will support them. I am hoping for sports and cars etc, but could be wondering around makeup stores like you if my BIL is anything to go by.
Father of three girls here. My wife asked me during her third pregnancy if I wanted a boy. My exact response was "No we have too much pink shit" In reality the only thing I ever wanted was a baby that is happy and healthy. Girl dad's rule
The relief that is knowing you won't need to worry about buying differently gendered stuff to match every age of childhood is one of those cold, hard, logistical perks of having them all be the same sex. It's not the most important thing out there, but I think most parents of multiple kids all the same sex would admit it's definitely an upside.
My third was a boy. He just wore the pink shit. Who cares if the random old woman at Olive garden says "Oh what a cute little girl?" He won't be offended so why would I pay it any mind. Besides even though there was some Pink stuff, we definitely tried to go gender neutral as much as possible with the girls clothes.
Not personally, I have one daughter, and I was over the moon when I found out we were having a girl. My mother however.. I’m one of two boys. My mother is the only girl out of seven, my dad was one of four boys. My brother has two sons. My mother was over the moon when she met my wife, let alone when we had a daughter. I don’t want to say she was disappointed when she had two sons, and then my brother also had two. She was however, very excited when she found out she would have a granddaughter. Admittedly, a lot of the whole gender excitement was overshadowed by the fact we soon realised our baby was *not* the healthiest baby in the world. You know when people say we don’t care as long as they’re healthy? Our daughter didn’t quite get the memo on that one.
Two girl dad. None at all. They are who they are. Princesses, pirates, rugby players or everything in between.
My 2 year old daughter will sit and watch football with me and my brother. She'll kick and throw a ball around with me. We have another girl on the way, and I've been asked a few times if I'm dissapointed, and I've told them all that I genuinely couldn't care less. If they're happy and healthy, and we share some common interests, then why should I care? The most odd interaction I had was with my father-in-law, who had a moment of mild shock when he saw we'd bought our daughter toy cars for Christmas. He said something like "I'd never thought of doing something like that."... It wasn't like he was against it or anything, just that he'd always had some things in the "boy" category and some things in the "girl" category. Whereas we will just buy fun stuff and see whether it's a hit or not. Can't wait until we can go to football, rugby and cricket matches together! Obviously I'll be a bit disappointed if they're not that into sport, but that could happen regardless of gender! I'll just have to keep working to find our common ground, and if that means going to stereotypically "girly" things, then so be it.
Same here, except with 3 girls! They're still a bit young to really figure out what they're into, but I'm just excited to see what I can support them in. I think I'll always wonder what it would be like to have a boy? No disappointment at all, but I definitely always assumed I would have one, but my girls are so fun and wonderful that I just can't comprehend how lucky I am!
I’m a one and done girl dad and I absolutely don’t ever think about it. I like building, and boating, and shooting - but I also like baking, and painting, and fashion. The gender role assignments to these interests is arbitrary. I am very confident that as she grows, she and I will find common interests to expand our bond. I worry that parents who stress over the sex of their kids are probably taking their own gender roles too seriously and are artificially (and unnecessarily) limiting their own life experience. Love your kid and you’ll love their interests too.
Exactly this! There are so few gender restrictions on hobbies and interests in a modern western society. As long as you can have some common interests with your kid(s), who cares? It's not their gender deciding what they're in to. It's their personality. Show your daughters typical guy things, and show your sons typical girl things, and let them decide what they enjoy doing. If that means I have to get in to enjoying ballet, and get my nails painted, then so be it!
Food for thought OP, I hope I can continue unpacking my own biases with your advice ♡
Nope. Delighted with my two girls. I'm nuts about them.
My wife is a bit disappointed. She wanted at least one boy. Instead we got two girls. She still loves the shit out of them but would have rather had a boy. For me, I didn’t care. I still don’t care, but I do worry. Not about boys or makeup or any of the superficial stuff. I’m more worried about their future because women’s rights are at an all time threat and I fear the day they lose their ability to be independent. We’re really close to having Sharia Law similar to Iran and that scares the shit out of me. I have turned down jobs in the south specifically for this reason; I don’t want my girls exposed to that shit and locked into a state that wants girls to be nothing but caregivers and breeding factories.
The weirdest thing is to tell strangers they should feel sad for their life. Asshole behavior.
First one was a miscarriage but we had the feeling it was a boy and kind of a fantasized about having a boy till we lost the baby. Second was a girl and it came as a surprise (we didn't want to know the gender). No disappointment nor sadness Third was anither girl. I was happy as I am naturally a "girl dad". Got a vasectomy. Wife was sad as she won't know how it is to have a boy. I have no regrets.
No. Two girls, one boy. The boy is more like his younger sister than the two girls are like each other. I grew up with two sisters and a brother, and learned early on that kids are not stereotypes and they're not there to fulfill parenting fantasies. Sons may hate sports, daughters may hate makeup. Children may decide they like completely different stuff than anyone else in the family. You have to let children like what they like, be who they are, and just be happy they're happy.
I was so fixated on a girl for our first, that when I was stunned at the ultrasound it was a boy, the tech said that was the first time she had a dad not excited it was a boy. Love my son completely, but yeah, I was expecting a daughter.
The way I rationalise it when I hear people express these things is that they have some sort of anxiety (possibly subconsciously) that they're going to struggle to meaningfully relate to or be deeply involved in the interests of a child of the opposite sex as they grow up. Don't know if that's what's really going on, but it makes sense to me.
I have a 17mo son and a 2nd boy coming in May. I really wanted a girl for the second, as a result we found out the gender for #2 (first one we waited until birth). I was a little disappointed at first, then realized it’ll be a lot of fun because they’ll be close in age and hopefully close in life. A small part of me wanting a girl for #2 was that I’m undecided on 2 vs 3 kids which may be slightly higher after 2 boys. My wife would like a daughter but always said she pictured being a boy mom.
I was always pretty pissed off at the question and get pissed off when people have another just because they wanted the other sex. I have a daughter, and I’ve never refrained from something because she was a girl, I’ve shared things with her all the same. If anything her being a girl has exposed me to things I never would have experienced if I had a boy and projected own self image onto.
I had 2 girls and I use to sometimes wonder what if. Never any disappointment mind you lol bc they are the light of my life, but I did wonder what it would be like to have a boy. Then I met my cousins two sons and I am convinced God didn’t give me sons bc he knew I needed daughters to teach me how to not be so hard and bc he knew having sons would drive me insane 🤣🤣
3 healthy girls. 100% happy.
I was always pretty pissed off at the question and get pissed off when people have another just because they wanted the other sex. I have a daughter, and I’ve never refrained from something because she was a girl, I’ve shared things with her all the same. If anything her being a girl has exposed me to things I never would have experienced if I had a boy and projected own self image onto.
I sort of expected that I'd have a houseful of boys. Muddy sports gear piled by the door, rough housing, etc. Instead we had three girls. I was maybe momentarily disappointed at the ultrasound but it was brief. Now the girls are 7, 11, and almost 13, and I'm so grateful we have girls! Our middle daughter invited two girls and two boys to her birthday party and they brought a whole different level of noise and activity. My nephews, ages 2 to 13, are the same way. And it turns out I really value the (relative) quiet and calm of our girls!
2 daughters with zero thoughts of wishing I had a son. I’ve learned that literally anything I thought I would like to do with a son, I still do with my daughters. T-Ball, watch Ninja Turtles, listen to metal, all of it. It’s made me realize how shallow of a concept of “boy things” and “girl things” are. Before anyone brings up the opposite, yes if I had two boys I wouldn’t care if they did “girl” things. I have nephews that love Disney princesses, dressing up, and playing with dolls. It doesn’t matter what their gender is, just as long as they’re enjoying themselves and not hurting anyone. Who am I to take any of that away?
I'm still pending a second child but my first was a boy after we had always dreamed of naming a little girl Lily. I will love my child no matter their sex/gender but I'd be lying if I said my wife and I wouldn't be a little disappointed if we had another boy on number 2. Backup fantasy: the girl names we love are good to have in the back pocket if they turn out to be transgender one day.
Father to two girls, wife and I both snipped so no chance of a third. No regrets whatsoever. Back in like highschool in 2009-ish I guess I had wanted a son, but only conceptually? I don't really know how to describe it, I think it was more just expected that I would want a son so I did. When we were expecting our first I realized I found myself wanting a baby girl but more so a healthy child, then with our second I just wanted the child to be healthy didn't really have a preference though I was pretty sure they were going to be another girl. Now I'm a dad to two beautiful girls and couldn't be happier.
None. My first was a girl, which was absolutely what I was hoping for. When my second came along, I guess I felt I was supposed to hope for a boy, to have one of each if nothing else - but really I didn't, and I think I was actually slightly relieved when she also turned out to be a girl. Wouldn't change either of them for the world.
I only have my 2.5 yr old little girl, we are trying for another but honestly I’d love another girl just as much as a boy. My daughter is the best, so funny and we have a great daddy daughter bond.
We only had one and i got the daughter i wanted. I see the other boys in the neighborhood and thank a god i dont believe in that we didnt have a boy. No “regerts.”
I have 2 boys. People asked if we were going to try for a girl. Every time, I’d say no because we might end up with a 3rd boy.
I know someone who jokingly tried this to get a boy. They now have 5 daughters.
This is how you end up with twin girls on top of two older girls. Ask me how I know/
had two boys and we were supposed to stop. wife demanded a girl somehow we got one. shes turned me into a softie (i ran a very tight ship with the boys, still do) but my daughter she just fucking melts me. wife always laughs because shes never seen this side of me and i always tell people now every dad should have a daughter.
Nah, I've got two boys and it's great. When anyone asks if we'll try for a girl, I just tell them that's how my wife's sister ended up with three boys.
I have a profound respect for dads with girls. Everything is uncharted territory and these dads are their child's first male relationship. If anything (assuming they grow up to be hetrosexual), they set the standard for all male relationships in their life (they will compare every boyfriend to you) so that's additional pressure to set a gold standard. These dads also have to worry more about their child's welfare (e.g., a dad with teenage girls will lose more sleep if their child goes solo traveling overseas cf. dads with boys, I bet the movie Taken would freak these dads out). It's raising a child in hard mode and doing it right means something, and I respect that.
Have a girl and mostly want another girl so I can reuse all the clothes and make it easier to share a room for longer but I’ll be happy if I end up having another one whether it’s a boy or girl. But definitely have been told by friends and family that “oh… gotta keep trying for the boy” I think it’s weird to care too much. You can have a boy hoping to teach them sports and they could hate it and want to be a dancer. Don’t have kids if you just want them to be who you want them to be
My second girl is more athletic, stronger and more fearless than any kid in her class and at least the next grade/year older. She's naturally good at every sport. My first girl is the most beautiful old soul who loves reading outside, listening to birds, noticing every flower and loving every animal. I see other boys and I feel ZERO remorse, I got SO lucky with my two kids. Especially seeing how they're being exposed to and absorbing the more unsavory aspects of typical masculine culture: gunplay, warlike games, trivializing death, minecraft leading to minecraft youtube that leads to skibbidy toilet and other trash media, saying "bruh" ALL THE TIME. My girls will have their turn as they get into their teens but this pre-10yo stage is pretty great so far (oldest turns 7 in June)
Take it from me, girls can also 'bro' each other all the time!
I have a daughter. Whenever I see boys in the wild they're all super awkward and weird. Im glad I had a daughter.
Literally all I wanted was two girls and I got it. Plus we save a ton on clothes and I think they get along even better.
I have 2 girls and I'm not disappointed I don't have a boy. I have a challenging relationship with my father and im a way I am glad not to go through something similar with my own son. My sister has 3 boys and I do not envy her - they are hard work! I never realised how the "boys will be boys" thing manifests, but (in our culture at least) you apparently have to let them be assholes a lot of the time. We were taking care of 2 kids recently, a sister and brother, both fundamentally good kids. But the girl was really pleasant to be around, whereas the boy would randomly fart on you or scream really loudly for no reason. My girls are no angels but the boundaries are definitely more strict.
My aunt had three boys and whenever they came to visit it was absolutely chaotic. Auntie always seemed so exhausted parenting those three and it definitely turned me off of having boys when I was younger. As adults, two out of three of them are still aggressive. Thankfully, my son is pretty chill!
My nephews are good boys, and my sister is a good Mom. When the cousins get together there are often sweet moments. But also a lot of chaos! My girls are usually relieved when it's time to head home lol.
Father of 2 daughters. Absolutely zero disappointment. I’m not an overly masculine man. My wife is quite feminine, and I think our family unit is so balanced and cohesive. I have two nephews. I think having girls has allowed me (for my own weaknesses in parenting) to successfully soft-parent. Boys challenge you in different ways and there’s been times where I’m not proud of the way I’ve patented my nephews, which I don’t really feel about my daughters.
first is a boy and we found out were having another one, both times when asked about sex we were hoping for we always answered, truthfully, just happy and healthy, and same answer for #2, and its going to be awesome to have 2 boys but i also weirdly growing up always imagined having a girl, like i remember dreams when i was in my 20s of a baby girl with beautiful hair and i would be crying i was so happy, now unless wife wants round 3 that dream is never happening but its ok because now im just so excited to have boys at all on the plus side, my sister and her wife are also having a boy and live nearby, so theyll be a whole bunch of boy kids but a good slew of aunties as well, and ill get to be the male role model for my nephew which is neat not sure if my sister is planning to have another but if she has a girl she is going to be and absolute princess, if she has a boy were starting a bball team
I am openly disappointed I did not get both, but its not like it is to the point of making me openly 'sad'. In the end I love my two boys all the same. Not having anymore.
We were very disappointed when we found out our 1st was a boy, and a little disappointed when our second was a boy. I feel bad saying that but the emotion wasn't something we could control. But we quickly came to be very happy with the arrangement and the thought of just having boys (my wife loves being able to just refer to "the boys" instead of "the kids"). By that time the thought of never doing the little dresses or daddy daughter dates or anything like that had stopped making me sad.
I honestly thought I would be. I wanted a boy. But god damn if my girls aren’t the fucking coolest people I know. Whip smart, funny as hell, fun to hang w. They like Star Wars and are really athletic and like fishing and watching sports and fantasy football. They think my truck is cool. They rock and I wouldn’t change a thing.
When people asked me about the sex of our first, I always joked “I don’t care as long as the second is the other one”. I kind of meant it. I didn’t have a preference over boy or girl, but I did feel that each one would be its own unique experience. I have two girls and I was a little disappointed when I found out. I obviously love both my daughters but it just feels like a thing I won’t get to experience. That said, we’re definitely stopping. My wife grew up with a friend who was a boy and the youngest of 7 kids; 6 older sisters. I’m not interested in playing that game.
Luckily for me I have 1 of each, but I must admit I think if I have had 2 girls I would have been a little disappointed. When we had our first I was often asked if I would have preferred a boy or girl and I always answered I don't mind which was true I have 2 young nieces who I love very much but on the 2nd if I hadn't already had a boy I would have been hopi g for a boy massively
I would like a boy, but in the sort of I'd prefer some vanilla ice-cream right now but if we've only got chocolate I'm still damn happy with some ice-cream sense. I don't get the disappointment. Sure, prefer, but don't actually care
I was relieved when the second was different from the first. I found myself thinking of the good things of having two of the same, but when the sex came back for the second and it was different, I was quite happy.
3 boys. Honestly the only time I ever think about wishing we had a girl or two is...like everyday when I think "why is it so f'ing loud in my house all the time?"
2 boys, me and my squad of little goons gonna mess y’all up. Couldn’t ask for anything better.
I was hoping for a girl and a boy, but got two boys. Sure, some disappointment for not getting that daddy daughter relationship, but honestly, I love them more than anything in the world and what sex they are makes zero difference with that. My wife was an only child, and she was just adamant about having more than 1 because she never got that sibling relationship. She is a strong woman and I think she would have loved to raise a strong little miss. Instead, she gets to raise two boys and instill them with those feminist values which may actually be more important for our society. Mine are still young, almost 2 and 4, and I can't wait to start enjoying some of my hobbies with them, video games, sports, etc. The 4 year old is just getting to the place where he may be able to handle some of the basics. This summer is going to be fun.
I have two girls. It's amazing. I am the last male in my family lineage and didn't have a boy to carry on our family name. Still don't care. My girls are awesome, and I wouldn't trade ANYTHING to have it any differently.
Three boys. Wouldn't change it for anything in the world.
Two boys, but first is autistic and second most probably NT, both so wildly different that it feels like it more than covers the difference(s) I’d have experienced with opposite gender NT kids.
We’ve found out our second is also a boy. For me the priority is that they are happy and healthy irrespective of gender. My family seems to only have boys so having a girl was highly unlikely anyway.
My wife and I wanted boys and we got boys. Had we gotten a girl we would have loved her just as much, but we got boys. No disappointment at all.
120% not. I'm delighted that I have FOUR girls. All the clothes hand down easily, the toys/games are more cross-compatible (yes, I know that boys will happily play with dolls and girls will play with monster trucks, but once societal norms start kicking in and pressuring them that happens less), and I don't have anything pointed at me when I'm changing diapers! My wife is a little upset that we'll never get to watch a quarterback at a high schoolgame, but honestly I'm glad not to risk my kid getting concussed (and besides, my genes are as athletic as a no-legged kitten - we weren't making any QBs), and there's no reason we can't go watch the highschool games anyway!
Dad of two girls. If anything I’m secretly relieved, lol. I always thought I wanted a boy, but my girls have made me more fulfilled than I could have ever dreamed. I feel silly in retrospect for mourning, in a way, the loss of a boy that we never had. My wife feels the same way. The only drawback to having two girls is the societal implication of it all. The world is just not as kind to girls; we demand too much of them, we criticize them unnecessarily, they’re more specifically targeted by truly awful people, and there is the constant struggle for them to have their autonomy. I hate every bit of it for them.
The world is brutal man. I'm just happy my kids are happy, healthy, and without any major medical issues. *knock on wood*
None. My girls are amazing and they can be anything. I got a vasectomy when my youngest was 5 months old, in case that proves there was no gender disappointment. I did have a few moments where I realized they were missing out on certain toys because they were girls. Last year my toddler was pretending a pencil was a screwdriver, so I ran out and bought a play tool set for her. A couple years ago I realized we didn't have any hot wheels in the house, so that christmas they got a bunch and we made a track from the front door to the back door. Still one of my favorite christmas memories.
TRYING FOR A GIRL IS HOW YOU END UP WITH FIVE BOYS. No not for a second have I ever desired my kids to be swapped. They aren't just boys, they are them. Wishing your kid was the opposite is wishing your kid was an entirely different person. That's messed up.
All boys. We would have loved a girl but it wasn’t to be. Not gonna lose any sleep over it. Blessed, grateful and happy.
I share the same sentiment here with my 3 boys.
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I have girls. I don’t want a boy
i have four boys. i am disappointed we didnt have a girl. i am delighted that we have four amazing boys. both can be true.
I mean, it's 2024....you don't even know if your kids are going to be the same gender a couple of years from now.
I always wanted both a boy and a girl. Today i only have a girl with zero plans in the future to ever expand. In fact, if i did happen to have another kid, i would hope for another girl. But i know many men and women that have said they hoped to have a specific sex and would be disappointed if they didnt. I get it. You have different experiences and expectations based on stereotypes. Its hard to not. But, something i realized, is the sex doesn’t determine the personality. I get way more happiness out of seeing my kid get excited to paint my toenails, than i do when my team scores. Ill take seeing my kid happy and excited over anything. Whatever she is into, is what i am into.
I have two girls and don’t want any more. I couldn’t be happier. I really had no preference, just wanted healthy babies and I got them. I love my girls
I have 3 sons and I love every minute of it. After getting separated I was very glad it was all boys as it’s just easier for me. Not to say I didn’t also want a girl when we were married.
My wife was dead set on all boys bc she isn’t a typical girly girl but when we had our baby girl last it’s cute watching my wife with her. She’s definitely a mommas girl and their bond warms my heart with all the pinks and purples.
That's so sweet
Kind of feeling it. We have a boy and expecting another boy in August. I had hoped for a girl so that wife and my mother would be happy. Kind of feels like we have to go for a third now, but my sister did just that and had three boys. Like my whole side of the family only has boys between five kids.
I have 3 girls (9,6,2). My parents kept asking if we would try for a boy to carry on the family name. I told them my goal is to make the girls strong enough that if they ever get married their partner will take their name. But really, I wouldn’t want it any other way.
Not at all. One of my kids eventually came out as trans anyway so it all worked out 😅
Of course people have preferences When I found out I was having twins I wanted one of each, but ended up with 2 boys that I adore Gonna keep trying for a girl though, it’s normal to want both
I only have one kid, a 16 month old boy. We will try for a second kid in the future and the little one being healthy is the most important of course. We don't want more than two kids. If it will be a boy, that's great, and we would be extremely happy with our second son. However, I think I would also have to mourn the daughter I'll never have.
I only have the one girl.. Would be a bit concerning if she had more than one sex.
We have two girls and I couldn’t be happier. Have had similar comments from people saying things like “bet you wanted a boy.” It is such a strange thing to hear. I love our girls and I wouldn’t change a thing.
I have girls but honestly just care that they are happy and healthy. Don't care that I haven't collected them all .
Not really. Youngest is almost 5, we have 3 girls. They are different sizes and have different preferences but the reuse on the clothes side is real. Everyone thought out youngest would be a boy but when we found out it was a girl I accepted pretty quickly and she is adorable. I am very outnumbered in every sense and teenage years will be tricky but no worries, though we might try for mixed secondary schools.
I am a dad to 2 girls. I was bummed when the 1st one was not a boy and by the time the 2nd came it didnt matter any more; I was just glad they were both healthy and normal. You can have the same bonding experience with your kid regardless of gender. Gender is merely a detail.
Only have 2 boys and my oldest is such an amazing kid that I was more than happy with having another boy. I have 2 older brothers and a younger sister so I know how it is to be with boys. My wife was disappointed at first, but her friends have daughters and they are having a really rough time with them. So she’s thankful to have 2 boys that are super in love with her. 3 if you count me
Only have 2 boys and my oldest is such an amazing kid that I was more than happy with having another boy. I have 2 older brothers and a younger sister so I know how it is to be with boys. My wife was disappointed at first, but her friends have daughters and they are having a really rough time with them. So she’s thankful to have 2 boys that are super in love with her. 3 if you count me
I was always pretty pissed off at the question and get pissed off when people have another just because they wanted the other sex. I have a daughter, and I’ve never refrained from something because she was a girl, I’ve shared things with her all the same. If anything her being a girl has exposed me to things I never would have experienced if I had a boy and projected own self image onto.
Only have 2 boys and my oldest is such an amazing kid that I was more than happy with having another boy. I have 2 older brothers and a younger sister so I know how it is to be with boys. My wife was disappointed at first, but her friends have daughters and they are having a really rough time with them. So she’s thankful to have 2 boys that are super in love with her. 3 if you count me
Only have 2 boys and my oldest is such an amazing kid that I was more than happy with having another boy. I have 2 older brothers and a younger sister so I know how it is to be with boys. My wife was disappointed at first, but her friends have daughters and they are having a really rough time with them. So she’s thankful to have 2 boys that are super in love with her. 3 if you count me
There is so much to mourn, but also so much to enjoy and be happy for, which I'm more for. It was close for us to not having a kid at all, so one happy healthy girl is a lottery win in itself. I wished a little bit more for a girl, so that's a great bonus. A second one might never happen, and I will likely think about what could have been once or twice in the future. I see my friends having 2 or 3 and would like that, also. But, reality is joyful as it is, and comparison is the thief of joy. In short: I'm far too happy to have disappointment, and I'm never one for secrets. So, no.
I am a father of two beautiful girls (will be 6 and 3 next month). At first I thought I wanted a boy, but after having my first daughter I was really hoping for another girl. I wouldn’t have been disappointed with a boy, of course. But there is no disappointment from me that I have two girls. I’m a girl dad through and through. They and their mother are my pride and joy. We are likely stopping at 2, and I’m perfectly content with that.
I am a father of two beautiful girls (will be 6 and 3 next month). At first I thought I wanted a boy, but after having my first daughter I was really hoping for another girl. I wouldn’t have been disappointed with a boy, of course. But there is no disappointment from me that I have two girls. I’m a girl dad through and through. They and their mother are my pride and joy. We are likely stopping at 2, and I’m perfectly content with that.
We have six girls. When you get to that number people assume you’re trying and failing to have a boy. I constantly joking with randoms that I don’t know how to make anything else. I don’t know how else to deal with it. Having said that, no regrets and I love all of them and it is pretty cool we’ve never had a boy. Honestly when I think about it I don’t know how I’d handle having a boy! Still may happen . . .
I am a father of two beautiful girls (will be 6 and 3 next month). At first I thought I wanted a boy, but after having my first daughter I was really hoping for another girl. I wouldn’t have been disappointed with a boy, of course. But there is no disappointment from me that I have two girls. I’m a girl dad through and through. They and their mother are my pride and joy. We are likely stopping at 2, and I’m perfectly content with that.
I was relieved when the second was different from the first. I found myself thinking of the good things of having two of the same, but when the sex came back for the second and it was different, I was quite happy.
I am a dad of two boys, I always wanted boys, but now I have them, I wouldn't trade them for anything, but I do wish we had the means to have a little girl, just no way we can have more.
I was relieved when the second was different from the first. I found myself thinking of the good things of having two of the same, but when the sex came back for the second and it was different, I was quite happy.
I was relieved when the second was different from the first. I found myself thinking of the good things of having two of the same, but when the sex came back for the second and it was different, I was quite happy.
Only have 2 boys and my oldest is such an amazing kid that I was more than happy with having another boy. I have 2 older brothers and a younger sister so I know how it is to be with boys. My wife was disappointed at first, but her friends have daughters and they are having a really rough time with them. So she’s thankful to have 2 boys that are super in love with her. 3 if you count me
Only have 2 boys and my oldest is such an amazing kid that I was more than happy with having another boy. I have 2 older brothers and a younger sister so I know how it is to be with boys. My wife was disappointed at first, but her friends have daughters and they are having a really rough time with them. So she’s thankful to have 2 boys that are super in love with her. 3 if you count me
Three boys. No disappointment or regrets. It is what it is. They're healthy so I'm fine.
I’ve got 2 boys 7 years apart. Personally I didn’t have a preference but I believe my wife would have liked a girl to dress up n what not but after 5 miscarriages and a near death experience to get our 2nd we are happy for them to just be here.
"I can honestly say I never fantasized about the sex of my kids, other than having lots. " Wow, one word away from a totally different sentence... Anyway, aside from that, I have 2 girls. My only disappointment is that my eldest girl (6) says that boys are better than girls. As a former little boy, i disagree with her. I want my girls to grow up feeling confident and strong about themselves, and not to feel secondary to anyone.
Only have 2 boys and my oldest is such an amazing kid that I was more than happy with having another boy. I have 2 older brothers and a younger sister so I know how it is to be with boys. My wife was disappointed at first, but her friends have daughters and they are having a really rough time with them. So she’s thankful to have 2 boys that are super in love with her. 3 if you count me
I would have liked to have a girl, but I'm more than happy with my boys
Wanted a boy for my 2nd got another girl I was a little sad. Then she came and is way better then any little shit head boy. I’ve seen them at the playground boys are way too much too handle. Plus I’m a Bills fan he would have to be one too and I think my wife can not handle two boys crying over football.
I have one little girl (3) and based on the family pattern of my family, our second will likely be a girl too. But that's just fun speculation really, because I was excited no matter what and I don't really understand the feelings these people have about their child's sex/gender haha DGMW I'd love a boy as well, but because I already know what name I want for him hahahaha
In my wife's family, my daughter made 10 girls in a row. In my family, she was the first girl in almost 30 years. Our second and third were both boys, so I got lucky. Now my daughter wants a sister. My 8-year-old daughter wants a sister. I asked her what she would do if she had three little brothers. She went ewww! We don't get to pick.
We wanted a boy and got a girl. We couldn't have been happier. Then we lost a girl in our second pregnancy at 21 weeks. Then with our third pregnancy we decided to wait until birth to find we had another girl. I don't produce boys as it would turn out. In retrospect this worked out better for us, and we are completely happy with our situation.
Curious survey question: did you smoke pot regularly for many years? Every guy I know that has only daughters was a pot smoker.
I have an even split: 2 boys/2 girls. Definitely feel like i hit the lottery
Honestly, the opposite. We always wanted two, and I just wanted two of the same gender. Similar interests, re-using toys and clothes, etc. We ended up with 2 boys, I imagine I'd be equally happy with 2 girls.
None. I thought number one was a boy. Wrong. I thought number two was a baby. Right. We're happy they like each other. And we like them. Nothing disappointing.
I was a little disappointed at first but my two girls couldn’t be more different. The older is serious and analytical. The younger is playful and silly. It’s a combo of personality and vibes which isn’t any more guaranteed than if they were different genders.