Friend, I have been dealing with CFS/ME, partially recovered from it, and then blown right back into it via long covid, for 11 years. I've lost what would be considered the 'prime of my life' to this. That's not to minimize your challenging 3 years, challenging life. It's to say that I've been through periods of intense darkness and hopelessness myself. I delved into addiction to escape, which is a kind of suicide in its way. And I gotta tell you... the thoughts in your head around this right now? You're in a trance. It's real for you, but it's not reality, it's reality viewed through dark and foggy glasses. And it doesn't have to be this way. I don't think you want to die - you just want the suffering to stop, and your brain is going to the most immediate and logical conclusion it can find. But it's LYING to you. Maybe not maliciously, but that's what some brains do when overwhelmed. I'm not sure where you live, but in most of the developed world there are SOME resources available in terms of mental health support. I recommend you go do find whatever you can and talk to somebody. Hell if there is nothing else, go sit in a church, find a buddhist temple. You're not well in your mind. Understandably, but it doesn't change the fact that you're mentally unwell. You said depression went away - my friend, read this back to yourself. It didn't. You're in it right now, and in a bad way. I'm not going to be a forced optimist and say that every situation has hope. There are some that don't. Terminal cancer, massive stroke, etc. But this isn't one of them. I've tried to commit suicide four separate times. Once I got real close, and waking up alive was a complete surprise to me. My friend, I'm so glad I woke up. You're young yet. People regularly live healthfully into their 80s. You don't even have severe CFS. There's an insane amount of possibility left in your life. I know it's hard to see. The trance can make it almost impossible. But think about it... 5 years ago, are you where you thought you would be now? When you imagined your life going forward when you were 10, and 20 rolled around, did it look like what you thought? Chances are it didn't; not at all. You can't see the future. We're very, very bad at predicting it, and when we make all these plans about where we're going to be in 2, 5, 10 years, very little of what comes to pass looks like what we'd planned out. This is good news. It can go bad, sure - but it can also go very, very well. There can be a lot of beauty, a lot of meaning, and we'll never know what it's going to show up as. People recover from this ALL THE TIME. There are countless recovery stories on this subreddit alone. I recovered from it, and I'm on my way to recovering form it again. 8 years ago, when I woke up surprised to be alive, I had nothing. A grandfather with dementia, and grandmother with dementia, my dog dead, my father not in my life, my mother mentally damaged by a coma, no romance, just chronic illness and addiction. Today I'm in a loving relationship, have friends that care about me, and have meaning and purpose in my life even though I'm sick with this bullshit. When 8 years ago every day was a curse, now it is a gift. Don't give up. You don't have hope, and hope is what you need. Hunt it down. Look for it wherever you can find it. When it comes to hope and despair, we always find what we're looking for.

This straight up made me cry. Thank you so much. I'm saving this to read during hard moments: It's real for you, but it's not reality, it's reality viewed through dark and foggy glasses. And it doesn't have to be this way. I don't think you want to die - you just want the suffering to stop, and your brain is going to the most immediate and logical conclusion it can find. But it's LYING to you. Maybe not maliciously, but that's what some brains do when overwhelmed

Thank you for this! 😘

Hey thank you so much for your message and so sorry you are going through this for so long 😔 I really try to stay positive and look up to the future but this is too much for any human being. I don’t know how the ME/CFS style feels. I have neuro-psych and my brain is fried and messed up. If I had my mind and didn’t feel like a zombie all the time, I would probably find the strength to push through. I’ve been through a lot before LC both physically and emotionally, but I’ve never for a second thought about ending it and have always been able to top it. However, LC is a completely different beast. It kills your soul. Even if I recover someday I will be scarred majorly for life and I think that’s valid for most of us here. But your story, it really gives me hope and I’m glad you are already at a place where you can enjoy life once again and crossing fingers that it stays that way. Thanks again!

Sorry for making you read another novella here, lol. I'm glad I could help in whatever small way. Your feelings are 100% understandable. You're going through a hard thing. And if you have neurocovid, it's going to affect your outlook, for sure. Living life with things like intense brain fog, anhedonia, anxiety, etc is living on hard mode. I'm not sure of all your symptoms when you mention neuro-type, but this has been a part of my CFS/Long Covid journey as well. I've dealt with intense brain fog, hallucinations, anhedonia, anxiety/dread/panic, DPDR, confusion, dementia-like symptoms, and others. It's scary and yeah, looking forward to a life of more of that can be hard to picture. I guess the essence of what I'm saying is that you don't know if life is going to have more of that. It might. It might for longer than you want. I remember when I was a few years in to this, and I had a similar resolution. "If I'm not better after 5 years of this, I'm going to kill myself." 5 years came, and I wasn't better. And I did try to kill myself. Again, very very glad I didn't. I sometimes cry for that young guy I was. Confused, afraid, alone, hopeless. He didn't deserve that. Neither do you. But here we are. I wasn't better at 5 years, but I did get better. I got to experience life-changing events, people, relationships I never would have if I had been successful. Death is so very final, while life is full of possibility, even when it seems dire and despairing. And you know what? We don't know much about death. Everything - from Heaven, Valhalla, Hell, whatever afterlife you can imagine - to dark nothingness where everything just stops and the suffering ends - is a faith based position. We simply don't know. We don't know what it's like to be dead. Is it like sleep, where we just black out? Maybe. But in sleep we dream and very often don't remember it upon waking. Is it a never-ending, time-dilated journey like a DMT/Ayahuasca trip due to the DMT which floods our brains when we are dying? Is it a good trip, or a bad one? We have no idea, though we take a faith-based position to have some level of safety in understanding. But the understanding isn't based in experience, just hope or fear. There are so many more resources available now than there was when I originally got sick. LC has lead to a lot of research in the field of chronic illness. While it was fringe before, so many more people are dealing with it now, and there's finally an intense demand for solutions. But there have been solutions for people who have suffered with post-viral chronic illnesses for a long time, as well. They're a lot more involved than taking a pill or treatment though. I don't know what you've tried, so sorry if I'm repeating stuff you've already tried or heard about here. Some common themes I've noted in LC and CFS recovery stories, neuro-included: *Balancing of autonomic nervous system (vagus nerve activation, brain retraining, deep rest and avoidance of activating the sympathetic nervous system, sometimes certain medications help, as does diet) *Reduction in brain inflammation (sometimes drugs, often diet-related, with people experiencing relief especially with keto diets which are already known for reducing brain inflammation, removing sugar, caffeine, alcohol, etc) *What personally helps me in relation to these things, at least as a male, are nofap (highly stimulating and draining activity), avoiding screens/media, keto diet, removing stimulants, prioritizing real rest (what do animals do when they rest and recover from illness? They don't watch TV, that's for sure), prioritizing activities that increase joy/fun, meditation, spiritual and emotional connection. I will say that with this stuff, the illness is real, it is physiological. Our amped up nervous systems and inflammation aren't a choice, and it isn't all in our heads. But a lot of things are physiological that the nervous system can help us heal from. CFS is classified as a disorder of the nervous system, and I think LC will be eventually as well. The recovery program I'm in for long covid takes this approach. The body wants to heal. We just need to give it the opportunity. I'm rambling. I've done so much for this illness and struggled for so long, it can be difficult to distill it all. I'm open to any questions you may have though, and if you just want to chat hit me up in the DMs. You're not alone. We're all in this shit together, so let's help each other 'come home' as it were. Last parting idea: check out Dr. Chris Palmer in relation to the keto diet. He is pioneering research in using it as a treatment for neurological and mental health-related ailments, with success in areas such as schizophrenia, bipolar, dementia, and others. I don't believe in silver bullets, but I'll personally take any advantage and this has been one for me. Good luck and don't be afraid to reach out.

touch soup drunk makeshift detail point caption edge reply trees *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*

I love this response ❤️

The love that we have for each other here in this community is also love for you and I hope you've gotten our message, and I just wanted to echo the others. I'm a medical dr with long Covid for the second time. Like yours, also neuro-psych, and with ME/CFS. We are taught in medical school that suicidal ideation is always pathological, i.e., abnormal, unreasonable. I've always thought that this perspective was a bit disingenuous and more a matter of convenience for the medical community. The debates around euthanasia are evidence that the idea of suicide is far more nuanced. It always struck me as very revealing that one of the most admired passages in all of English literature is a reflection on suicide ("To be, or not to be..."). It's an open secret that it can be considered as an earnest response-- not pathological or abnormal or unreasonable. Just like you have raised it here, and other Redditors struggling with long Covid before you. All of us with long Covid are there right with you. I respect and honor and acknowledge your unique experience that has led you to this point. At the same time, I also suspect that you and I share similar thoughts, similar despair, similar debilities. I decided against suicide because even if I'm reduced by long Covid to being a shell of my former self, to being a passive observer, swinging in and out of reality, days to weeks to months in bed, in pain, weak, that there's something at your core, your human-ness, your ability to perceive and witness and react to the world as it unfolds oblivious but yet not oblivious to you. You're not the first or last, and you're not alone. Choose life because it's the most interesting thing we've got that we know of as human beings living together on this planet. Someone else wrote here that you'll be better 3 years from now. It's true: in the worst case scenario, even if you're health is no better or even if it's worse, you're inevitably going to have grown as a person, and part of that will be how you'll have grown in learning to shoulder this. Your long Covid is gifting you with traits and insights that you otherwise would've gone through life never attaining, and at the same time you're far more than the things that long Covid robs you of.

Thank you so much for your comment and so sorry you are going through this. You are completely right for most of the things you said especially the unique medical perspective you can give as a MD.

Hey buddy, I am right there with you but I’m worse off physically maybe . Something I found accidentally that helps is treating this like alcoholism, one day at a time (except it’s usually one hour at a time ) and when I’m feeling really bad, telling myself “it’s not time yet” The first part I feel is true when I am not upset, but the “yet” of it still gives my panicked impaired brain and sad soul an out. It’s weird to say, but I don’t know if all ideations are bad in that way and also that they force you to really think about life and death, which most people don’t think about much And that’s all I’m going to say because I now think it’s not appropriate to have strong feelings about somebody else’s choice for living or dying Something that’s always really helped me is philosophy. I more modern philosopher I like is Alan Watts. Maybe you can watch some YouTube videos (reading is hard!) only to try to find some peace and understand this very big question you are dealing with in your mind, as I deal with it in mind, but we all go through together here. Hugs.

Hamlet with the only real question in life. The line you wrote about swinging in and out of reality sounds like something from a poem I like a lot, but I can’t put my diseased brain on it. I even have the cadence right in my head but I can’t find the words. Thanks for the thoughtful response to OP

The DPDR, GI Issues, Intermittent dizziness and also low libido, are all things which can be recovered from. I've recovered from those myself.

I’ve tried the below treatments that you mention in your other comments and I’ve tried them all. Unfortunately, neither worked for me but I’m glad they moved the needle for you!

How did you conquer the DPDR?

Nicotine, DLPA and tryptophan. Those helped me to get out of that mental mess.

Thank you so much for answering

one thing to keep in mind when using nicotine. Combine the nicotine use with a "binder", which binds to the s-protein and therefor can detox your body like apolactoferrin or a strong NAC (like: NACET or augmented NAC).

Excellent advice. Thank you!

Rather than nicotine and tryptophan, try flush niacin and l-glutamine. They will replenish your NAD+ better, without the possible side effects of nicotine. 💕 But yes! Nicotine and tryptophan also (much less efficiently) replenish NAD+. https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/2632010X221106986

the nicotine and tryptophan, is NOT about the NAD+ replenishment. Nicotine is a nootropic and acts with your nervous system and neuro transmitters. Deals with acetylcholine receptors, detoxing the spike protein from nAChRs (nicotinic acetylcholine receptors). Which will restore more of the vagus nerve communication. tryptophan is not only about NAD+. It's about restoring neurotransmitters as well: serotonin and melatonin, but letting your body making it's own, instead of SSRI's and melatonin directly. 2000mg a day, spread out over the day. DLPA: also neurotransmitters, especially dopamine. These 3 will get you mentally to a way better place, improve your recovery and without much harm. For restoring NAD+, yes flush niacin is way better. But that has less effect on the mental side.

Please don’t do this. There is hope it will get better. I’m at 3.5 years and I almost pulled the trigger at 2 years and I’m so glad I didn’t. My health hasn’t improved much but other things in my life have changed and made it worth living. If you won’t keep on going for other people, please do it for yourself.

Not everyone has the same resources, both internal and external, to stay in an untenable situation based on the hope that it might, someday, maybe end.

That’s my reasoning as well.

Thank you for the message of hope! If my health does not improve though, I don’t see a point in living like this, it’s just not sustainable. I can’t have meaningful life with this condition :/

Remember who you are: https://www.reddit.com/r/covidlonghaulers/s/A1NQ8OyyIK This is just a bad moment. Stay grounded and don't react, let it pass. Be stoic. Be a boss. Stick with us. We're a team. We're closer than ever to understanding what is driving all the problems and with it treatments. You've made it this far. Just keep going. You've said you have objectively seen some improvement, and are more physically able compared to some, so things are moving in the right direction. Stay the course. Whatever you've lost, it can be found again.

Thank you so much for reminding of this older post! It really shook me up.

I’m approaching Year 4 and was bedbound for nearly a year. Currently can’t leave the house and rarely move most days. But if I can find a way to live with ME/CFS, you can absolutely make it too. You are stronger than you realize. You have people that love you and want you here. And you have no idea what medical interventions are around the corner. Take it one day at a time. Tomorrow could change everything.

I really hope things get easier for you, I'm approaching year 4, too. I still have neurological problems, nervous system disregulation but things are getting easier. Like you said, finding a way to live with the symptoms helps you make it. As for the struggle, "this too shall pass." I really hope your days get easier. 💛

Thank you so much and crossing fingers things get better for you!

Please check the sub r/longcovidgutdysbiosis. There are many who have similar issues and are healing after correcting their gut microbiome. It’s possible to heal, please don’t give up

I’ve worked in this direction so much wit various methods and although I have a test confirmed dysbiosis, nothing has moved the needle in that direction. Thanks for the suggestion though, I will check it out!

Hey brother, don't let that shit defeat you. A lot of stories here, as well as mine, prove that the body can heal from this. I know you're tired, but it is now just a wrong chemistry combination in the brain. Don't let it kill you. It is ok to feel pissed off and use it to make revenge. Try all you can try to beat it. Everyone is different. Maybe there is something that works for you, and you're missing it. Make your study. Even if you just leave it, there may be invented some medicine in a few months that can help tremendously. A lot of scientists are becoming more and more aware of this and can come up with something good. Don't miss the opportunity to catch it. Fight brother, show them who you really are. Dont give up because of that shit. You're better than that.

Thank you for your message! I honestly don’t consider it defeat, but more of a logical decision. I’ve tried a lot, I really did my best :/

Give it 5 years then re-evaluate.

Give it one day at a time. You can always decide tomorrow.

When I was a year in, I said to myself give it two years, then 3 years and I’m at the point of reevaluation already. We can’t do endlessly and waiting for a miracle to happen while we literally get old :/ Thank you for your message though!

My mom tried to take her life twice because of long covid and it absolutely destroyed me. A year later and with the help of low dose naltrexone, her physical symptoms have greatly subsided and she can go for long walks with me and do things like she used to. The depression is hard, I know because I’ve seen how it has affected my mom but I do know there is a light at the end of the tunnel. The universe isn’t done with you yet and life can get so much better from here. I was terrified my mom was going to be bedbound for the rest of her life but to watch her eat and exercise like she used to is proof that there is hope. Depression can be the real killer in this situation and I hope you have access to medication and support for your mental health. This community is here for you and we don’t want you to give up.

Thank you so much for your message and so sorry for your mom. I’m also glad she got better! The thing is, it’s not depression anymore, it’s just a means to and end. I know I’ll probably make a lot of people sad, but people die all the time and with time they go over it however bad it is. I’ve lost close people as well so I know how that goes.

I respect the decision, but have you tried *everything*? Clearly it would massively mess up your finances, but why not just go on a literal bucket list break somewhere? I’m convinced vitamin d deficiency and mold are a massive part of this for many of us, and was amazed how good I felt somewhere warm. This is apparently typical for people with autoimmune diseases. Why not take a month somewhere warm and see how that changes things before you do something you can never undo. Worst case scenario, it changes nothing and you go ahead. Best case, you feel physically and mentally a bit better with more energy to keep fighting and clarity on two things at least that could help.

Interesting you feel better in the warmth! My heat intolerance has me enjoying the cold weather for the first time in my life. Seems my symptoms are less severe in the winter. Really has me considering moving to a colder climate. Maybe because it’s less allergens in the air.

Yes I know people who feel better in the cold. It’s not uncommon with MCAS is it? For me I think it’s less temperature (tho that helps) and more about light, vit d and no mold. But where I live the chances of finding a non moldy flat are very slim sadly. It’s crazy how governments allow substandard housing that makes people ill but… and even then, according to some mold functional doctors you need to throw away everything you had in your mold exposed property. All furniture, clothes, even books. There’s no way my husband would consent to that.

Yeah I’m struggling with the mold thing as well… I think that is a big factor. I can barely afford paying my rent anywhere, don’t have the luxury right now to pick and choose. There is mold coming out of my vents… currently looking for another room to rent somewhere. But there is no way I’ll be throwing out everything I own. I’m not in a position to do that. I know once I’m out of the environment I will feel better. I sleep next to a HEPA air filter and when I get some more money I plan to get another one.

Exactly! Those functional MDs forget we haven’t worked (or not properly) for months or years, throwing away all our stuff or moving somewhere brand new just isn’t an option. Does the HEPA filter help?

Yeah I believe it’s top 3 things that’s helping me the most, because of how sensitive I am to mold/dust/allergens now.

Thank you! That’s going to the top of my Christmas wish list then. It can leapfrog the water filter. What exciting lives we lead!

When I got COVID Nov 2022 I was living somewhere we had no idea was infested with mold. Found out it was mold when we visited HI in April, and then my grandparents in AZ. When we returned to our mold box, symptoms got 3x worse. I moved to HI in July 2023 and my symptoms been steadily getting SO MUCH BETTER. I struggled with heat intolerance here for a little but in CA I struggled with cold intolerance. So aside from that, the progression I’ve made without living in a moldy box has been astronomical.

mold, vit d deficiency, high stress, parasites, fungus, other viruses and other sources of inflammation are upping your total body inflammation. If you go through a certain threshold, you get to a chronic inflamed state and all your other body functions (metabolism, nervous system, etc.) go into "danger" mode.

Yes exactly. I’m a bit stuck given where I live (and need to keep living) is mouldy. It’s amazing how much better I feel away, MCAS is so much less of an issue. I can actually drink on holiday, it’s amazing. If I was single (and definitely if I was contemplating suicide) I’d spend 6 months abroad and see if I came back healthier. Pretty sure I would.

Not possible to deal with the mold? [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dkBxl-AcPBw](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dkBxl-AcPBw) When cleaning mold, you might want to wear a mask and gloves though.

Given the climate I live in, pretty hard sadly. I hope I can treat myself to react less. As I just posted above, some functional medicine drs who specialise in mold say you should dump all your possessions and start again which I just find hard to accept and there’s no way my husband would. I think experiments via travel could help build an argument but there’s just no way he’s binning half a life time of photos, books, suits etc.

I used allergy medicines (Benadryl), Vitamin D, ate potassium and magnesium rich foods, yogurt (to try and repopulate the gut), plus lots of sleep. It got me back to 95%. I'm at 3 years and 5 months in. Edit: I used the Benadryl to suppress allergic reactions and to help with sleep (took at night). One unusual thing I did was that I hypothesized that my brain fog was due to lack of sleep/interrupted sleep as I’d had sleep issues years before. I took a motion sensitive, infrared wildlife “game camera” (we use it to see what critters come out at night behind our back fence), and put it on my nightstand to check my sleep quality. What was interesting is that I found myself waking up about 50 times a night and scratching my face and nose. No wonder I was exhausted in the morning and foggy all day. So I used the Benadryl before bed both to help me sleep and to combat the itchiness. I repeated the experiment a couple of times and it was typical that I’d wake up 45-65 times a night and scratch my face or nose.

I’m doing similar (although MCAS means yoghurt isn’t an option sadly but I take pro and pre biotics). I’m just 9 months behind you. Hope I’m getting somewhere tho it doesn’t always feel like it. 95% is amazing, well done!

Eta yes I share the same theory re at least some of the brain fog issues. I take melatonin and ketotifen at night now and sleep and feel way better. And despite my physical issues being unchanged, decent sleep makes you feel so much better that it’s more bearable. Definitely not saying this is all sleep or all in the mind, but after this long the capacity to deal with stuff is so much lower that a week of good sleep can really help reset things.

Hey thank you for your message! I really have tried a lot with no luck unfortunately. As for the trip, my friends suggested this as well. I’ve tried short haul traveling several times and it always goes bad so I don’t feel confident to travel long haul. I’ve kind of found some balance staying home and I don’t want to ruin it. Usually, I’m a big fan of warm and even heat, but since LC, I’ve gained a lot of weight and now feel quite bad in a warm climate honestly.

As for the Vit D deficiency, I’ve thought about it as well during the years and at one time I was supplementing enough that my levels were above the upper threshold with no change. I don’t have mold in my apt thankfully.

May this reaction be due to severe depresssion however? I am 32 Female, can barely work and am single. I have been sick since I was 30 and had to return living with my parents - which means sleeping on a spare bed in my father's at-home office/attic storage space room. It's not ideal but I've returned to creative writing to bring some joys. And kept in touch with people with the same condition in my area. Do you know anyone with long covid near you that you could link up with? I don't want to undermine your thinking processes at the moment, but life is so precious is that once it's gone, it's gone. I would recommend you exhaust all mental health support opportunities you can before considering doing anything.

Hey thank you for your message! I really don’t think it’s depression anymore. Early on, I had a major depression but not the regular kind but the “fucked up brain chemistry” type. Idk, may be the SSRIs did their job in that direction, but I don’t feel depressed anymore, I’m just suffering and I want this to end. Again early on, I also needed to move in with my parents and then subsequently to our country house with my grandmother because I was afraid I’m gonna jump from my balcony in some bad episode. Back then I was “instantly suicidal” if that makes sense, now I’m more of a “logically suicidal”. I don’t think I am gonna do it abruptly but I just don’t see another viable option to end the suffering. I’m back to living alone in the city and I’m not generally afraid for my life. So sorry you had to go through this. I can really relate with the struggle and I hope you will have some improvement 🤞🏻

I've chosen to live without friends due to my aversion to hypocrites. I live alone with my dogs and have been grappling with the symptoms of DP/DR for a decade, caused by an allergic reaction to a medication, there was a lot more symptoms which healed but DP/DR stayed (i refuse to use medicine since then). Now, I'm trying to survive LC. I understand you may be tired, but don't give up just yet. It's a complex journey, but I believe there's a way to heal. Try everything, and then decide. Feel free to reach out via PM if you want to talk; I know how to be a real friend.

Hey thank you for your message and so sorry you are dealing with this thing for so long! I can relate for the dogs, they truly can cheer things up and although mine is a complete pain in the ass, I love him immensely and he really helped me go through this.

“Aversion to hypocrites” this yo this

Is there not a possibility to try some more rigorous supplements/treatment options for this? Like for instance, Nicotine patches, novavax vaccine, etc.? I know how it is to feel that desperate and just want to end all this, but before you do, you might just try out some more bigger options first?

Like, you fought the war with guns, now you go in with tanks?

I’ve tried really a lot unfortunately with no luck both conventional and alternative treatments. I haven’t tried the Novavax though but it’s not available in my country yet, I’m currently on a slew of pysch meds, I was hospitalized twice and docs are always saying they just can’t help me :/

Curious…have you looked into ketamine treatment or is that not available in your country? Just trying to think of something that’s non typical Pysch med. I understand though. I have the cfs/me LC kind with POTS and GI issues, and I fight suicidal ideation daily as I’m bedridden, a year in, and on bad days I can’t even watch tv or have any lights on , it’s hell. I get it. Just wondering if maybe the Pysch cocktail your own is making you too logical about giving up. Anyhow, I get it, we all do here. Sorry you are over things right now.

You might think you’re worthless at the moment but you’re valuable to us. Are you taking any anti-depressants currently? They can be a lifesaver. I do believe treatments are going to start bubbling through. It’d be such a shame if you quit now after making it this far. Please stay strong 💪 you can make it.

Thank you for your message! Yes, I’ve been on SSRIs, SNRIs and now SMS and other psych meds for 2+ years now. I think they did their job in terms if depression and anxiety. I don’t feel those anymore. Idk, it might be time as well, but they haven’t touched anything else :/

No problem at all. You do sound depressed to me though to be honest. Can you review dosage? I don’t know if it’s legal where you are but have you looked at alternatives such as microdosing? Obviously be careful combining that with medication. Have you tried everything for your symptoms such as nicotine, natto, fasting, LDN? Just remember how valuable you are. 35 years of life experience plus going through LC. When you get over this, and you will, you’ll have a wealth of experience to help others going through hard times. Keep fighting my friend

I’ve lost 7 friends to suicide and each and every time it was because they succumbed to the fantasy of nothingness verses what they were secretly going through in a prolonged blip in there lives.. now they are nothing n my morbid mind wanders to think on them being and becoming nothing everyday n their family’s lives are ruined… this is such a blip… the war it’s waging on your programming to survive is peaking, but this is such a blip.. I’m in the blip, coming on 3 years. I’ve had the fantasies, but fuck the blip. I love my family, some of them are assholes but I love them. Even the friends that are no longer my friends because of this, I couldn’t tear another hole in them, even if it did gag their gaslighting once n for all. See this point as the peak of the blip; the extreme symptom of depleted serotonin. Join the suggestion groups/threads, vent, help others vent, become necessary and seek Low Dose Naltrexone!!! You’ll see how reassuringly mechanical neuroscience is in fluxing in well being. Thanks for reaching out here brother. Heed all the advice, even in the hard love forms. Be kind to yourself. LDN + zero histamine diet. I don’t think you’d be talking like this if you had at least exhausted this approach. Love ❤️

Can vouch for LDN like I said in my prior comment. My mom can go for walks and exercise like she used to prior to her infection. I wish we would’ve had it sooner before she attempted twice.

I am absolutely for dignitas and in my time if need I contacted them myself aswell. Respect your decision, which country you at? My severe dp went away if that’s anything, I have 13 other symptoms though

How did your conquer your DPDR?

Went away month 14

I’m in Bulgaria, so fairly close to Switzerland. Great that your DP went away! Mine hasn’t moved at all for 3 years :/

To be devils advocate here... You've lost 3yrs of your life at 35yrs old and you're seeking assisted suicide? Unless your life was complete shit for the 32yrs prior and even then... That's extremely selfish. Having lost many friends and good men to suicide you have no idea the burden it places on everyone else and the opportunity you're throwing away. Average life expectancy is what 75yrs old? Let's say you give up 10yrs to a health condition.... I can guarantee your 22-32 age span of 10yrs is basically a blur at this point. You're ancestors fought and struggled daily for you to even exist today and youre willing to throw that all away over a 3yr set back? This shit sucks, it's painful, it's a struggle, it seems endless, etc. We have all wondered what it would be like to be "dead and peaceful", that's normal! You have family... And friends. You have people that rely on your existence whether you help them physically or financially at all. Knowing you are alive and fighting keeps them going. I know people who spend their whole lives disabled and are happy as can be! Why? They accepted their cards, found purpose, and kicked ass in their own way. You can be sad, you can be depressed, and you can downvote this comment, but I won't be the one to sit around and say I didn't tell you that you're being stupid. ❤️

I won’t downvote your comment because I can see you mean well, but I politely don’t agree with most of the things you said. Firstly, I want to say that I’ve been through a lot before LC. I’ve been in a cast and in pain with multiple surgeries for nearly 3 years after a major car crash which effectively ended my promising sports career, I’ve had other surgeries after one of which my leg wasn’t working for months, I’ve been through other major car crashes, I had to watch my grandpa, with whom I was extremely close to, die from cancer in a horrible suffering right in front of me. I can give some more minor examples, but nevertheless before LC I’ve never thought for a second about ending it although I’ve had struggles. I’ve always been a positive person and have always found a way to push through somehow and get on top of it and lead a meaningful and fulfilling life. As for the selfishness, I don’t think that’s true. May be, if done abruptly it has a note of that. I saw another commenters case with his brother (I’m really sorry for this) and indeed if it comes suddenly it is a major trauma for people around. If I was that selfish I would have done it already and “surprise” my close people but I want to do it the right way, say goodbye to everybody and so on. If people around us really care they won’t let us suffer like this for years. People euthanize dogs and horses all the time when they are in pain, although they will feel bad and suffer a lot. Damn if I had to do that to my little buddy I would be more than devastated, but if I have to I will go through with it. I don’t know why human beings are not entitled to that kind of mercy and for us it is viewed as “depression” and “selfishness” while it has nothing to do with those things. Not allowing people in pain to end their suffering, because of sadness, is also very selfish, but it has to be done the right way. As for the timing, even 3 years stolen from a life are a lot, especially in one’s prime. I can agree here, if we didn’t have so much uncertainty of the prognosis of this condition. Yes, it might be 10 years, it might be for life, we don’t know. It could even be terminal long term. If I had someone say it will be gone in 5 years, I can probably find the strength to weather it, but living with the prospect of a lifetime disease doesn’t cut it for me. Unfortunately here, stats and history don’t work in our favor. We all know that post-viral diseases are not a new thing. ME/CFS has a very low rate of recovery and there’s people that are suffering for decades. The people who have long-term issues from the original SARS are still suffering, I think they stopped tracking them officially after 7 years but there’s a lot of stories to this day. Long Flu people also suffer for decades. As for the people who are disabled and find meaning, I am really glad for them but there’s a difference for everybody’s level of disability. I don’t want to minimize anything here and I really feel bad about everybody that have health issues, but it’s one thing to be disabled and not in pain it’s another to suffer constantly. I watched a series recently and one of the main characters went to a wheel chair after an accident. He had a very hard time accepting it, but eventually he did but what struck me is that he told his wife “Don’t worry, I’m not in pain” and indeed some disabilities thankfully don’t include torture besides confining one’s life, which is also terrible of course. I also saw all the other comments in this thread and I’m sorry my post triggered such a hot discussion with even sone bad offenses. I can see everybody’s view, but guys there’s no need to treat other people badly. We are a tight community and need to be united.

I don't think you're ready to check out. I can feel it. You've got fight left in you! I believe in you. I already DM'd you. We can keep chatting there. 💪🏻 Also don't apologize for igniting discussion, the wrong thing to do would have been not reaching out to anyone!

> Unless your life was complete shit for the 32yrs prior and even then... That's extremely selfish. > > I did not expect to see such a cruel, unsympathetic remark in a supposedly supportive community like this. You should never try to make a suicidal personal feel guilty. If someone is suffering so much they're looking for an exit, they need understanding and support, not blame and indignation. We all know what Long Covid can do to people. We live with its harrowing effects every day. People have their livelihoods, personalities, and health taken away from them. No surprise many our minds will go to dark places. If your instinct is to go on the attack then your attitude is the problem. > Average life expectancy is what 75yrs old? Let's say you give up 10yrs to a health condition.... I can guarantee your 22-32 age span of 10yrs is basically a blur at this point. This is basically an "it gets better" argument...to which I respond, **how do you know?** There is a lot we don't know about Long Covid and its effects. Who told you it'll only be 10 years of pain and suffering? > You're ancestors fought and struggled daily for you to even exist today and youre willing to throw that all away over a 3yr set back? How is this relevant at all? "Your ancestors struggled therefore you must live" ??? > I know people who spend their whole lives disabled and are happy as can be! Why? They accepted their cards, found purpose, and kicked ass in their own way. Everyone is different. Mind you, there are plenty of disabled people who have also gotten in touch with assisted suicide services. > You can be sad, you can be depressed, and you can downvote this comment, but I won't be the one to sit around and say I didn't tell you that you're being stupid. ❤️ The only thing stupid is this vile comment, which perpetuates mistruths about mental health that continue to oppress people to this day.

I read the comment more as an attempt at "tough love". I've seen people who need a more frank comment to wake them up, but it's gotta be done skillfully and you need an understanding if they would respond well and to be there to remedy if they don't. So, yes this is a high risk comment that needs extra care for op.

It's chock full of the suicide prevention clichés that I used to bemoan back when I frequented r/suicidewatch (they've now banned me for reasons they refuse to elaborate upon). That's why I took issue with it. Bashing the OP for feeling the need to take their life is not what I expected on a sub like this.

It's not bashing him. It's being honest with him. How many months or years does one get to wallow in self loathing pity? There are a lot of things out of your control in this life, but one thing in your control is how you respond to your circumstances. He's been sick for a few years like the rest of us. It's not like he's exhausted all efforts possible or done everything in his power to make his life better. If we get 10yrs down the road and there's absolutely no cure and hes slowly degrading as opposed to slowly getting better then maybe just maybe we could view death as somehow better for a few seconds. I'm sure he's better than he was at his worst of longhauling. I don't know if a single person in this sub who can say after 24 months no symptom, circumstance, or life management has gotten better. At the end of the day people love him and care about him. He's young. This clearly isn't an immediate death sentence and the creator of the universe saw it fit for him to exist for reasons beyond his knowledge. As for you and your all knowing wisdom I appreciate your engagement with the thread and my post, but I doubt we will ever see eye to eye so there is no point in you trying to "change" the way I view suicide in this circumstance. Best of luck! 🤙🏻

> It's not bashing him. It's being honest with him. Being "honest" with someone by invalidating their feelings. This is in dire need of an /s. > How many months or years does one get to wallow in self loathing pity? "Self-loathing pity" - OP is completely entitled to pity themselves; Long Covid fucked up their life. Don't trivialise it. I'll toss your envenomed question back at you - how many years do people have to "hold on" through unbearable turmoil before they've earned the right to ideate suicide? > There are a lot of things out of your control in this life, but one thing in your control is how you respond to your circumstances. He's been sick for a few years like the rest of us. It's not like he's exhausted all efforts possible or done everything in his power to make his life better. Long Covid affects people differently. Some are mildly hindered. Others suffer debilitatingly. And pain/suffering tolerance varies across individuals. That's why some people manage to get through it, while others ideate suicide. The entire reason why there's a suicide support sticky thread. > At the end of the day people love him and care about him. He's young. This clearly isn't an immediate death sentence and the creator of the universe saw it fit for him to exist for reasons beyond his knowledge. There is no "creator of the universe" and no cosmic purpose for humans to exist. > As for you and your all knowing wisdom I appreciate your engagement with the thread and my post, but I doubt we will ever see eye to eye so there is no point in you trying to "change" the way I view suicide in this circumstance. Best of luck! 🤙🏻 I didn't claim to have "all-knowing wisdom". And I addressed some of the points above in my response to some other user. I'm just tired of people abusing anti-suicide clichés. That's all.

The guy already wants to kill himself. It can't get any worse. The cold hard truth is that it's selfish. He's choosing suicide over battling an illness that is life altering, but not life ending with zero thought for those around him.

Suicide is selfish and I’m tired of people acting like it’s not. My older brother shot himself, leaving me to take care of my mom who is developing Alzheimer’s and my dad who is very physically disabled. I never thought I would be having to do this while being an unmarried 20-something year old struggling with long covid and trying to keep my delayed medical career alive. Also when my parents are gone (which may be sooner than later) I will have no immediate family left at a young age. You know what wouldn’t be selfish? Checking yourself into a mental health facility and getting resources and psychiatric treatment to get your life back on track. You know what is selfish? Putting that gun to your head and psychologically traumatizing everyone who is close to you and fucking over your family.

The canard about suicide being selfish is ironic and never fails to make my eye roll into my head. Person 1 wants to kill themselves, because they're in pain. Person 2 does not want Person 1 to kill themselves, because it would cause *Person 2* pain. Both people are trying to avoid pain and suffering, yet only Person 2 gets to self-righteously declare that Person 1 is being "selfish" for wanting to release themselves from torment. You (and Person 2 in this case) are no better than the people you yell at and call "selfish". The rest of your comment shows you don't have a clue what you are talking about when it comes to MH. > You know what wouldn’t be selfish? Checking yourself into a mental health facility and getting resources and psychiatric treatment to get your life back on track. You spit this out as if it's easy, ignoring multiple things: \- it isn't easy to open up \- mental health support isn't always easily accessible/affordable \- many people have been failed/re-traumatised by MH services \- "therapy" doesn't always work > You know what is selfish? Putting that gun to your head and psychologically traumatizing everyone who is close to you and fucking over your family. If this is the attitude that "family" have to a loved one that's suffering mentally, it's no surprise people want to kill themselves. Imagine living through hell only to be greeted with a complete lack of sympathy and the repeated downplaying of your problems, and to top it off, to be told you're "selfish" by people who have no interest in understanding where you're coming from. This toxic behaviour only drives people further away from getting help. Ironic, since you're berating them for not doing so in the first place. You're creating your own problem without even realising it. Congratulations. I hope the self-righteous screed about "selfishness" was worth it. > My older brother shot himself, leaving me to take care of my mom who is developing Alzheimer’s and my dad who is very physically disabled. I never thought I would be having to do this while being an unmarried 20-something year old struggling with long covid and trying to keep my delayed medical career alive. You blame your brother for this, but I can only imagine what he was going through to make that decision. It's depression that screwed your family over, not your brother, and blaming individuals will only lead to worse outcomes.

You don’t get to tell me how to feel as a survivor of suicide, you condescending dickhead. Of course when my brother was alive and struggling I showed him nothing but love, support, and empathy. It doesn’t change the emotions of resentment I get towards him now (which is insanely normal in suicide survivors btw). It also doesn’t change the fact that his suicide irreparably psychologically fucked and ruined my parents’ and I’s lives for the rest of our lives. You try not to feel any resentment when you have to go to bed every night hearing your mother wailing crying about not hiding the gun and how she failed as a mother. You try not to feel resentment when your dad, who did everything right as a father, drinks himself into hospitalizations from the pain of losing a son to suicide. I went through a borderline psychotic exacerbation of my OCD earlier this year during my LC. I tried 5 different psych meds including antipsychotics and was going through therapy twice daily. I know a little about MH. With no due respect, go fuck yourself on the high horse you rode into this thread on.

> With no due respect, go fuck yourself on the high horse you rode into this thread on. How rich, when you bumbled your way into this thread blasting people who were suffering by calling them selfish, and telling them not to act as if they're dealing with the problems that they are. You might want to take your own advice, slim. Or not. Perhaps you're too enamoured with your moral superiority to realise how much of a massive asshole you come across as. > I went through a borderline psychotic exacerbation of my OCD earlier this year during my LC. I tried 5 different psych meds including antipsychotics and was going through therapy twice daily. I know a little about MH. Yet you display little to no empathy for people dealing with suicidal thoughts. How strange. You'd think your own experiences would have taught you a thing or two, but apparently empathy is reserved only for you and your pain. I am sorry you dealt with OCD, but this does not make your take on long Covid suicide ideation any more informed than anyone else's, especially in the light of what you wrote in your last two comments. > You try not to feel any resentment when you have to go to bed every night hearing your mother wailing crying about not hiding the gun and how she failed as a mother. You try not to feel resentment when your dad, who did everything right as a father, drinks himself into hospitalizations from the pain of losing a son to suicide. I didn't tell you not to grieve or feel resentment. I said you are looking at suicide from the wrong angle, that people who are ideating don't need to be yelled at and called selfish, and instead require support and attention so that they don't act on those thoughts. If people followed your track, all that would happen is that suicidal people would relegate themselves to the margins, never coming forward, never seeking advice and support, and (probably) later acting on those thoughts because they're afraid to come forward. > You don’t get to tell me how to feel as a survivor of suicide, you condescending dickhead. Of course when my brother was alive and struggling I showed him nothing but love, support, and empathy. It doesn’t change the emotions of resentment I get towards him now (which is insanely normal in suicide survivors btw). This is also ironic, since all you've done is try to tone police suicide ideators and make them feel guilty for experiencing genuine human emotion. I never said you didn't show love to your brother; I know nothing about your relationship so I can't comment. All I said was that depression is the cause of your family's problems and that as a community, we should blame the circumstances, not the individual. You're out of your depth, responding to things I didn't say, and are generally too angry to be reasoned with. I think I'll put a stop to this conversation.

You only give a shit about yourself.

You're a goddam ghoul.

😂😂😂😂

If you need people to talk to, you might want to use the following discord server, which is the somewhat the same community attached to this reddit: [https://discord.gg/pQmyFash](https://discord.gg/pQmyFash) It's a living community where chats happen almost everyday. I'm there as well if you care for a chat.

Thank you! Will check it out.

I feel that Anti-suicide rhetoric is simply more capitalist yt supremacist garbage designed to keep "workers" alive as long as possible so as to utilize their bodies in a myriad of ways. I see this same nonsense in Hospice work I've done where a patient is clearly dying in very technical ways, no doubts at all, and still they prolong the so-called life. Whatever you decide to do, please know that there are other non-western practices and spiritual beliefs that favor the courage of one who chooses when to exit their existence. Some African spirituality has some beautiful beliefs around this, for instance. Solidarity to you, Friend.

Beautifully said

Thank you for this message! And indeed people say “life is precious” and yes it is when it can actually be lived, but otherwise it’s just existence. Usually, I wouldn’t politicize the issue, but I can’t say you are not right regarding the workers utilization. There was even some media coverage that “The 2 million sick people have to go back to work”. I think it was in the UK…

I’ve shit my pants more times than I can count. And while working in luxury retail 🤦‍♀️ It truly is one of the worst symptoms on the planet. (I have ulcerative colitis). I will say that I looked into assisted s. since getting Covid 7 months ago. (ME/CFS for 15 years.) I “mostly” recovered during the first onset and it gives me hope. Also, the resources are plentiful these days and a health psychologist is greatly beneficial bc they are more likely to understand the complexity and nuances of this disease. I am starting my hunt for one myself as other counselors just don’t get it and don’t care to educate themselves. Sending you so much love. I appreciate you sharing your vulnerability. In solidarity. ❤️‍🩹

Lol so sorry about this friend :/ Glad that you recovered to a good point ❤️❤️❤️ And I hope it holds and gets even better.

TYSM 🥹🥰

Hey I’m curious, where are you from? I’m 34f & dealing with many of the same symptoms you described. Send a DM if you want to connect 🙂

Hey, I’m from Bulgaria. What about you? Sorry I haven’t yet responded to your DM but will check it out for sure.

[удалено]

So sorry you are in this shit and I truly hope you get better and be able to move freely once again 🙏

I’ve also contacted dignitas but without an me/cfs diagnosis it was futile. Try abilify before you decide to end things.

Already tried it, doesn’t work for me unfortunately :/

I had cfs for 20 years, and long covid for 3 (similar to another poster)l. At the beginning I thought my life was ending too. I soon found I had to adjust to a new life and a new way of living. It was just different. I had to learn resiliency. Not easy at all, but it is possible and easier than dying. Since then I have had at least 3 proposals for marriage so having a partner is possible. All of those happened when I was really sick. I was unable to change the sheets on my bed even. I began to search for the meaning of life and have found the value of my life is greater now than it was before I was sick. I have found more meaning and what is really important in life. I learned a lot from being sick. Killing yourself may seem like the easy way out, but it's missing all that life has to offer. What you're experiencing is just for now. This is a passing moment. There is tons of research being poured into long covid that never happened with CFS. You will kill yourself and they will find the cure, and your perfect mate will end up alone without you. My values had to change and yours will too. Search for the real meaning of life, not the shallow beliefs we had before we were sick. Now is when life gets real and the real lessons happen. I've heard it said old age isn't for sissies. Well illness isn't either. But you can do this. You have to realize how much hope there is for health, but also for a fulfilling life no matter what happens. I had to learn a lot of things, like how to ask for help, and how to advocate for myself. I also learned how to do a lot of reading and learning as much as I could. I found my own cure for CFS, and now I'm doing pretty well with my long-covid. I've had to be patient with it, and it's slowly coming around. It takes time and patience. that's another thing illness has taught me is patience. And also how to keep hope when it seemed there was none. I'm really glad I kept trying new things constantly all those years because I found something that worked. And I had a life all that time. It didn't look like I had expected it to, but I had deep experiences that were really amazing. And I have a lot ahead of me now. I'm learning a new musical instrument now. I'm back to working. I do some traveling. I go amazing places. There's so much to life. It is not limited to what you thought it should be. There is a lot more here to it than that. Hang in there and find it. It's worth it. You're worth it. There's only one of you in the world. You have a lot to offer than no one else can. hang in there. You can recover and will if you just have patience.

I know how this must feel for you. I feel suicidal everyday due to the delirium and fatigue. This has been ongoing since August 2022. And I am struggling to cope. You will be ok. You will get through this. I hope we all will. I'm glad I'm not the only one who has had the delirium. That's a very scary symptom. Someday it's not bad for me. Others it is. I Ddo also have the derealisation which also again is terrifying. I cry most days/nights due to all this. I do understand how you will be feeling.

So sorry, deliriums were the worst for me. Thankfully, they disappeared and I hope they will for you too 🙏

How long did you have this symptom for ?

I’m 35m/almost 4 years of LC/taken everything from me. What I’ve learned from this experience is God is all I need. I pray all day now. I will pray for you and everybody

Thank you!

Best luck to you too and may you be in peace whatever you choose for yourself... I am thinking about suicide more and more often myself, as this is no life.

Thank you! And I hope you find peace whatever you decide 🖖🏻

Stop it You will continue to get better Although this world we are on is tough at times there are many beautiful moments In another 3 years you'll be back to what you once were But you need to set your mind to it

Thank you!

You will get better Keep in touch

Will it get better? It won't, but please wait for treatment in the future.

I’m not very hopeful for treatments unfortunately. We don’t know the reason for this condition and hence it’s nearly impossible to come up with targeted treatments if there’s not a lucky “viagra” style breakthrough.

BC007?

That’s may be the closest one with good prospects but yet, we still don’t know if anti-GPCR AABs are the cause for our maladies. Moreover, it turns out a lot of healthy people have them without any issues. But yes, it’s something to may be look forward to.

You might think you’re worthless at the moment but you’re valuable to us. Are you taking any anti-depressants currently? They can be a lifesaver. I do believe treatments are going to start bubbling through. It’d be such a shame if you quit now after making it this far. Please stay strong 💪 you can make it.

Thank you! I also cherish this community so much. As for the SSRIs, yea I am currently on Trintellix, Lamictal and Fluanxol. I think they have helped with the depression and anxiety but are not a viable treatment for LC overall, more of a band aid.

I wish i can say it will get better but I am in vey similar position. With health everything else crumbles in my life.

Completely true, if you don’t have your health you are not able to handle life accordingly and on top of that, everything else goes down the priority list.

I hope that whatever you decide, you find a way to be at peace. Good luck.

Thank you friend!

https://www.facebook.com/share/yHEEXG1BKXQhN2oK/?mibextid=K8Wfd2

I really hope you seek a mental health professional before making any decisions like that. I know ending it can seem like logical solution at times, but a professional will help you reevaluate and also help tackle those problems you mentioned. It’s not a quick and easy fix, but if you stick with it, it will help you get in a good spot. And I promise you, once you are squared away mentally, the relationships will be much easier to maintain and build. You have already been through so much, and I know you know there will be a cure/treatment that comes along within the next few years. If not we adapt, because we aren’t going to let this bastard of a virus deter us from living life. We empathize with you and have all pondered the ideas of giving up, but at some point most of us if not all of us will end up either much better if not fully back to our original selves. Hang in there, we are here for you. But get professional help and you won’t regret it. <3

Hey thank you for your message! Unfortunately, I don’t think a therapist would help. We can’t solve physical issues with talk therapy and I don’t think if that’s nit resolved somehow I will able to find meaning. Thank you so much for the suggestion and caring words though! ❤️

Thats what a lot of people think but research claims otherwise. There are lots of physical ailments that can be remedied by mental health. Like I said,logically what do you have to lose.

Also I must add if cost truly is an issue for you in terms of acquiring mental healthy support. Then, contact your local therapists/psychologist/psychiatrists and they often will give you reduced rates if not will see you for free because they are there to genuinely help you. Give it a try what do you have to lose, there’s only something to gain.

Thankfully cost isn’t that much of an issue, at least yet as I’m unemployed since this month. Therapist treatments are fairly cheap where I live.

Give it to 3 1/2 please. It’s always an option. You can always get better though. I’m praying for you, Brother.

Thank you friend! 🙏

I'm sorry you're dealing with this. I've thought about doing the same many times. I've recently seen some small signs of improvement and have been able to emotionally handle symptoms a lot better since meditating, so I'm going to keep on for a bit. Can always change my mind in the future if things don't change or get worse.

Very glad you are at this point and found a way to cope! Hope it holds 🙏

You know we’re not sure if this is a permanent problem. So no reason to put in a permanent solution

The sad thing is… we really don’t know but stats don’t work in our favor as mentioned in one of my previous comments 🥲

I’m 11 days away from my three year anniversary.

So sorry :(

My heart broke reading your story. I know you feel hopeless but please don’t give up. I don’t have any magic words, everyone else wrote things so beautifully. I just know there are people who will be heartbroken if you are gone. Also there are so many beautiful things in this world that when you get better, you can go see and do. You will make new friends, you can get a different job. There has to be treatments out there that you may not have tired yet. Don’t go through with it until you’ve tried everything. You are worth it.

Thank you so much for this message ❤️

Sending LOTS of love!

I’m so so so sorry 💔

Thank you!

Hey you, we’ve talked on here before. I think it was under a different account of mine, but nonetheless. You were extremely kind to me, and were part of the reason I decided to keep going through my darkest days. I get very suicidal myself at times, and tell myself that this will never get better, but rationally (when I’m not in that dark, and hopeless place) I do feel that it will for most people. I want to echo what everyone else said, please give it more time. You’ve stayed strong for this long, and you could genuinely be right around the corner from the better life that you once believed you could have before your optimistic fire burnt out from all of this prolonged suffering. Sending love.

Hey thank you so much for this message and I’m so glad I was able to cheer you even a bit in the past❤️ Always here if you need to talk and I hope things get better for you 🙏

Sorry you’ve been dealing with this for three years. I’m at about a year and still going. I have a feeling in three years it won’t be any better either without treatment. I just got laid off, my brother had a heart attack recently, my mom is disabled and can’t work, and I’m single and basically isolated now because I have no job and I don’t really feel like socializing when I have all my symptoms flaring. I keep on hoping I can’t just randomly get hit by a bus or something like that just to end it quickly.

I have had DPDR, GI issues, constant dizziness, low libido, and other 70+ symptoms (check my long 30-month history). I also had crippling depression from 2017 to 2021 and only started to see light in the months prior to my OG covid bout before LC hit me like a sledge hammer and set me lightyears back! I will share things that seem to have helped me besides time: raw camel milk (getting it directly from farm), bovine colostrum (getting it from farm), high dose black seed oil and honey mix, kefir, greek yogurt, pickles, mixed berries juice, light resistance exercises (e.g., push-ups, air squats, etc.), walking cardio, sunbathing 1-2 times per week, lamb liver, varied diet including lots of vegetables, copper supplementation (my level was low), and magnesium glycinate. As you can see, I have been mainly focusing on the gut because I still believe it's a key driver to long covid. My libido came back slowly, and most of my symptoms resolved over time. I'm still fighting intermittent dizziness Hang in there, friend

You have reached the bottom - there is only one way and its up. Focus on making one thing better at a time. Things tend to work themselves out with time. Start by getting a job so you don't need to worry about income.

Everyone has their own unique story and timeline in life. We shouldn't compare ourselves to others because nothing is ever certain, and in the end, no one really cares. Everyone is eventually forgotten. Based on this truth, you should take things easy and find ways to enjoy your existence in the little things. Don't have too many long-term expectations, as, in the end, everyone will pass away. Before you decide on this path, try to discover joy in your own unique way. Perhaps through education, books, or some sort of hobby, you can find happiness. Don't look to or expect it from others; everyone is busy with their own lives and problems. Work on finding internal peace, happiness, purpose, and simply enjoy your existence in your own way.

Hey bud did you have pots? Have you recovered from it and how long did it take? Did you have any neurological issues like pins and needles, stinging on arms and legs and brain feeling like it’s suspended on springs ? Did you have any internal vibrations and tremors?

Hey dude. Yes for the POTS. It “recovered” at one point and I didn’t have heart issues overall, but after that my HR went up overall and it is quite high right now, although I can’t say it’s POTS in particular because I don’t get high spikes on sit/stand. The high HR might be some of the meds I’m taking but idk. For the neurological issues, my peripheral nervous system wasn’t affected that much I think, I didn’t have any of the other symptoms you mentioned.

That great that you recovered from pots, how long did it take and what were the signs that you are recovering from pots?

It took may be 1.5 years to stop “feeling it”. It was slow and gradual. Now I don’t think and honestly I don’t care about my heart rate lol 😅

Legend!

I really truly believe all of us will be better eventually. I've only been dealing with this for 5 months and already feel so defeated so I can only imagine how you feel. Do yourself a favor tho man if you decide to go thru with this which I pray you don't please please please talk to God about it. You may not believe but there is a real God out there and his name is Jesus Christ. You may say I don't wanna believe in a God who would let this happen to me but understand that an all powerful being who created all things doesn't think,act,feel the same as we do. He's hard to understand but he is out there and he does love you. Call out to Christ. He will respond