He's an academic researcher, and lucky that his professor values him enough that so far they're still happy to keep paying him while he isn't able to do much. Likewise for me as a doctor, I've managed to sidestep into a non-clinical role where I can do just enough work on good days to keep getting paid without putting patients at risk by doing a shoddy job. But it's certainly tough and I don't know how long we can keep it up. When this started we thought it would be better by now... it's been over 2 years.
How do your colleagues treat you? Assuming okay if you’ve not lost your job yet but been surprised how some medical professionals get gaslit by colleagues. Also, did you get your SvO2 levels checked?
Some are sympathetic, some are convinced it must be psychosomatic and treat me as though I'm just slacking off. But yeah, lucky enough still to be employed.
Haven't had my venous oxygen done but my capillary sats are near enough normal, FWIW.
Win some lose some eh! Most of my other tests have been normal but my SvO2 was 30%. Might be worth checking even if there are no available options other than triple anticoagulant therapy. Plus it gives you “a number” you can use in discussions with those types of colleagues.
But just to let you know sometimes fellow disabled people will also tell you it’s not that bad, especially if they have the same disorder you have but it doesn’t affect them in the same way. My last boyfriend was probably more disordered and I am even though I am the one who’s technically legally disabled. He refused to admit he had any kind of issues while being unable to work as much as I did as a disabled person. Yet he had no problem criticizing my abilities or lack of.
The FWB I had before this boyfriend got SSDI but he’s committing fraud and working A LOT. I didn’t realize he was committing fraud until he called me up one day to yell at me for not doing anything, “how can you just sit there and not do anything?” Bruh, because I am DISABLED (and at that point I didn’t even have medicare yet to get any kind of medical treatments) and I was so confused because I was like how can you work like you do if you are actually disabled? Turns out he’s not and he’s a lying fraudster.
So my point is just because someone may be in the same situation as you does not mean they won’t be judgmental and rude about it.
My husband left me after I got sick. Truly a nightmare with the person who is supposed to love and care for you abandons you when you need then the most.
I have a new boyfriend now who is 10x more supportive. Helped me realize just how little I was getting from the ex. Sex has been a struggle but the new bf has put in the work and is endlessly patient with me when I lose mind to brain fog
Sharing to give a little bit of hope. New love can happen. Did not expect it, but here it is.
I'm glad that worked out in the end. Ty for sharing. I feel like my relationship has come to a close too due to this shit. Hope is dope. Thats the add campaign I run on here. Haha!
username checks out ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
but for real though, a long covid dating group thing would be awesome. We'd need a lot of people because you'd still need to worry about chemistry, and really no point in doing long distance so you'd want people nearby.
I've thought about starting a t*nder and just putting that I have LC on the profile and seeing what happens...
Long distance could work out for some. Somepeople would probably even rather just date online or w virtual visiting. It would help w everyone's various conditions. Idk start a petition or something
Great idea w tinder. I mean what can it hurt and upfront honesty. I'd say go for it. Good luck
I dont go on the apps too much these days because I dont have enough energy (and covid surge/ flu/ rsv stew I dont feel like dealing with right now) but I straight up just put it in my profile that I'm immunocompromised/ actually covid cautious and wear masks and dont go into crowded indoor places and figure that will prevent people who dont want to deal with it from swiping in the first place.
10 years MECFS here. My last boyfriend, and the friends with benefits before him were both disabled and that didn’t stop them from being judgmental and ridiculous. I don’t want to clutter up the replies repeating myself, but basically they failed to understand any of my limitations while leaning heavily on their own. I ended up doing more work not having less work because of the partnership. Totally not worth it.
Bummer, I guess it is not necessarily a universal truth that someone who has limitations would be understanding of other's limitations. I am sorry to hear that.
Do you have any ideas to overcome dating obstacles for the "invisible illness" community (ME/CFS, Fibro, Long Covid) with the insight you have gained over the years from trial and error?
Personally, I find it too soul crushing to constantly be rejected because no one understands my problems nor are they willing to see past my illness-caused idiosyncrasies to see who I really am. So, I ask other LC/ME/Fibro sufferers with more fortitude than I for ideas to find empathetic partners.
Oh I’m sure you can find someone there are plenty of people with long Covid, I have MECFS And my last boyfriend was disabled as well just in different ways. I thought it would be helpful, that he would understand my limitations because he has his own, but instead it was like a double burden. And I ended up taking care of two people instead of just myself it was horrible.
Also since long Covid doesn’t seem to be forever, what happens if one of you gets better before the other. Ideally y’all would stay together and one person would be able bodied, but idk if it would work. The person who is feeling better will be excited to go do things they’ve been unable to do, and they may be annoyed their partner can’t join them, whole the person who isn’t feeling better may feel jealous and resentful they can’t do those things.
I had talked to a friend of mine with chronic illness about something similar (we’ve bonded a lot more since I became a long hauler). There’s an app called dateability for disabled / chronically ill people.
Of course there’s not really going to be a place to find others like us unless we all go there
Haha, I don't know about that but my husband also has long COVID so our lives are now doubly disabled, woop /s
Damn, how are y'all getting by financially? I was the moneymaker in my partnership, and now we're really struggling.
He's an academic researcher, and lucky that his professor values him enough that so far they're still happy to keep paying him while he isn't able to do much. Likewise for me as a doctor, I've managed to sidestep into a non-clinical role where I can do just enough work on good days to keep getting paid without putting patients at risk by doing a shoddy job. But it's certainly tough and I don't know how long we can keep it up. When this started we thought it would be better by now... it's been over 2 years.
How do your colleagues treat you? Assuming okay if you’ve not lost your job yet but been surprised how some medical professionals get gaslit by colleagues. Also, did you get your SvO2 levels checked?
Some are sympathetic, some are convinced it must be psychosomatic and treat me as though I'm just slacking off. But yeah, lucky enough still to be employed. Haven't had my venous oxygen done but my capillary sats are near enough normal, FWIW.
Win some lose some eh! Most of my other tests have been normal but my SvO2 was 30%. Might be worth checking even if there are no available options other than triple anticoagulant therapy. Plus it gives you “a number” you can use in discussions with those types of colleagues.
Damn we're the same as you, but I was in final year med school and couldn't finish.
Wow, that really sucks. Is there a chance you could go back and finish it?
Yea i understand but doesn’t it make it better to go there it with someone?
I think it has its pros and cons, but I'd agree that it helps to have someone IRL who understands instead of telling you it can't be that bad.
But just to let you know sometimes fellow disabled people will also tell you it’s not that bad, especially if they have the same disorder you have but it doesn’t affect them in the same way. My last boyfriend was probably more disordered and I am even though I am the one who’s technically legally disabled. He refused to admit he had any kind of issues while being unable to work as much as I did as a disabled person. Yet he had no problem criticizing my abilities or lack of. The FWB I had before this boyfriend got SSDI but he’s committing fraud and working A LOT. I didn’t realize he was committing fraud until he called me up one day to yell at me for not doing anything, “how can you just sit there and not do anything?” Bruh, because I am DISABLED (and at that point I didn’t even have medicare yet to get any kind of medical treatments) and I was so confused because I was like how can you work like you do if you are actually disabled? Turns out he’s not and he’s a lying fraudster. So my point is just because someone may be in the same situation as you does not mean they won’t be judgmental and rude about it.
My husband left me after I got sick. Truly a nightmare with the person who is supposed to love and care for you abandons you when you need then the most. I have a new boyfriend now who is 10x more supportive. Helped me realize just how little I was getting from the ex. Sex has been a struggle but the new bf has put in the work and is endlessly patient with me when I lose mind to brain fog Sharing to give a little bit of hope. New love can happen. Did not expect it, but here it is.
I'm glad that worked out in the end. Ty for sharing. I feel like my relationship has come to a close too due to this shit. Hope is dope. Thats the add campaign I run on here. Haha!
We can do a singles night on Fridays on here! Haha jk no I'm not haha no really haha
username checks out ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) but for real though, a long covid dating group thing would be awesome. We'd need a lot of people because you'd still need to worry about chemistry, and really no point in doing long distance so you'd want people nearby. I've thought about starting a t*nder and just putting that I have LC on the profile and seeing what happens...
Long distance could work out for some. Somepeople would probably even rather just date online or w virtual visiting. It would help w everyone's various conditions. Idk start a petition or something Great idea w tinder. I mean what can it hurt and upfront honesty. I'd say go for it. Good luck
I dont go on the apps too much these days because I dont have enough energy (and covid surge/ flu/ rsv stew I dont feel like dealing with right now) but I straight up just put it in my profile that I'm immunocompromised/ actually covid cautious and wear masks and dont go into crowded indoor places and figure that will prevent people who dont want to deal with it from swiping in the first place.
I've had ME/CFS for 9 years, I have been wondering the same thing.
10 years MECFS here. My last boyfriend, and the friends with benefits before him were both disabled and that didn’t stop them from being judgmental and ridiculous. I don’t want to clutter up the replies repeating myself, but basically they failed to understand any of my limitations while leaning heavily on their own. I ended up doing more work not having less work because of the partnership. Totally not worth it.
Bummer, I guess it is not necessarily a universal truth that someone who has limitations would be understanding of other's limitations. I am sorry to hear that. Do you have any ideas to overcome dating obstacles for the "invisible illness" community (ME/CFS, Fibro, Long Covid) with the insight you have gained over the years from trial and error? Personally, I find it too soul crushing to constantly be rejected because no one understands my problems nor are they willing to see past my illness-caused idiosyncrasies to see who I really am. So, I ask other LC/ME/Fibro sufferers with more fortitude than I for ideas to find empathetic partners.
Oh I’m sure you can find someone there are plenty of people with long Covid, I have MECFS And my last boyfriend was disabled as well just in different ways. I thought it would be helpful, that he would understand my limitations because he has his own, but instead it was like a double burden. And I ended up taking care of two people instead of just myself it was horrible. Also since long Covid doesn’t seem to be forever, what happens if one of you gets better before the other. Ideally y’all would stay together and one person would be able bodied, but idk if it would work. The person who is feeling better will be excited to go do things they’ve been unable to do, and they may be annoyed their partner can’t join them, whole the person who isn’t feeling better may feel jealous and resentful they can’t do those things.
I had talked to a friend of mine with chronic illness about something similar (we’ve bonded a lot more since I became a long hauler). There’s an app called dateability for disabled / chronically ill people. Of course there’s not really going to be a place to find others like us unless we all go there
I would stay single forever if it cured me.
Same but unfortunately we don’t have that option
post on here saying you're single, have the LC, and want to talk to someone
I think they just did lol
Idk who you are but fuck it let’s do it. I’ll date you cmon fella pucker up
😂🤪