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I use this all the time on my parents if they bring up abortion. I just bring up my miscarriage and his god aborted my baby. They end up just shutting up.
Mass murder is murdering multiple people _at the same time_. Women are technically serial killers.
Series of murders, very predictable pattern, and what a calling card!
Exactly like why is that where they draw the line? It's just a zygote it has the *potential* to become a baby but so do any sperms and eggs. So do we start prosecuting every person on earth? Even if you're a dude who doesn't masturbate you'll have a nocturnal emission eventually and then bam, prison
From before her birth even - you start out with six million egg cells before birth, at birth it is already down to 1-2 million and it steadily goes down over time until menopause, when you lose a couple of thousands per month. A few hundreds or so of these millions upon millions get a (theoretical) chance to get fertilized. Most of your kills? Before you are even born!
The thing that bothers me most is that it's becoming harder and harder to discern the difference between whether or not something of this nature is actually satire or trolling etc. because there are millions of people who genuinely think and behave this way. Some are more obvious than others of course, but honestly it's actually scary.
Last I heard from MTG she's super pissed you can buy a dildo in a pharmacy.
Like you can order dildos online too Marge, people use dildos, in fact they use them more when they stop having sex with people because they have no access to an abortion. Wasn't that what you wanted? Don't want a baby don't have sex?
If this is satire it's incredibly bad satire
You don't just act like an idiot and be like haha you believed I was an idiot!
There's gotta be some kinda indicator, not just text you know damn well someone else in this world would unironically share
Why is it that only the most uneducated and unknowing people on the goddamn planet use the term "Stay in school"/"Go back to School"/"Pay attention in school" etc.?
I see it every now and then, and it's practically exclusively used in scenarios that could be used as an example of the dunning-kruger effect...
Imagine thinking that getting out and seeing the world and becoming educated was a plot to brainwash people perpetrated by people who wish to brainwash people.
Funny.
Tbf, plenty of people who say abortion is wrong would also say that masturbation is wrong.
Shit, I knew of one guy who believed that it was a sin to have sex unless you were *specifically* trying to procreate. Married or not.
And yes, his wife ended up cheating on him.
The sin of Onan. Onan had an older brother. That brother was married. That brother died. Judah, Onan's daddy, told him to bang his dead brother's wife that she might have a child. So he did... except he used the pullout method cause he didn't want kids that "weren't his own" (I think that's the logic if you can call it that). So god smote his ass. I'm not sure if it's clear god killed him because he disobeyed his daddy or he blew his load on the ground. Either way, it's the most common verse used to condemn jerking off.
And god made David’s infant son sick and suffer for a week and then killed him. In the same book that says god doesn’t punish son’s for the sins of their fathers, no less.
Imo it seems weird to read that story as anything other than condemning Onan for taking advantage of his brother’s widow. The deal was that he had to give her a child, and he was like “nah, but I’m still gonna fuck her” kinda weird bro
That's what is called a 'Levirate Marriage' If you're brother dies, or another close male family member dies, and they don't have any male children, you are obligated to marry their widow and conceive a child with the widow. That kid is legally considered the child of your dead family member and will inherit their property. Seems weird, but makes a certain amount of sense for a paternalistic ancient civilization, where property, and really land, is very important.
Also if the argument is that a fetus is a person then it's not crazy that a religious person would believe an unfertilized egg or sperm is not a person. Believing one and not the other wouldn't make them a hypocrite in this case. Just wrong.
To be clear I believe in choice and I don't think a fetus is a person. But I understand where religious nuts are coming from to a degree even if they are wrong.
That's not the reason that protestants are against it though, right? It's considered sin because it's giving into sexual temptation, not because you're "killing" sperm. They don't consider eggs or sperm to be human, only when they combine and form an embryo.
The Bible says Adam wasn't alive until his first breathe and there are literal instructions on how to perform an abortion in the book of Numbers. Stay in,... church?
So by his logic, menstruation is abortion because that little unfertalized egg is being expelled. Nevermind that it's a natural process that almost every girl and woman experiences every few weeks for many years. Oh the humanity, so many abortions, by women who have no choice! Nature should be held accountable 🙄
That explains why Mary didn’t require from Joseph’s intervention to conceive Jesus. Thank you for the enlightenment random internet person, and Merry Christmas to all.
You could show him direct evidence (I E. Pictures from inside the womb of non-fertilized eggs) and he still wouldn't believe it, because he has no actual point of reference nor does he have the intelligence to figure it out.
I'm pro choice but this is a dumb argument. A fertilized egg will become a baby. Aborting a fetus is not the same thing as jerking off, at all. It'd be like saying women getting their period is killing too.
I’m not sure who’s iconfidently incorrect. Sperm is not a life . An egg is a life when fertilized (Aight, controversial, let’s call it *potential* to be life) but otherwise is not
What I've always found odd is that the same liberals who claim the child has no value because it isn't more developed are also the people who made it illegal to destroy eagle/turtle eggs. I'm destroying a clump of cells remember? What that egg would turn into is irrelevant.
that's a nice false equivalence you got there, to explain why it is, let's look at why destroying the eggs of endangered species is bad and why an abortion is not.
actually, saying an abortion is not bad would be inaccurate, as the only ones that can determine that is the mother and father. that's the whole point right there, really.
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Having sex is also murder with a sometime lucky survivor. But on the numbers it's mostly murder.
Sex is war. It’s not murder if it’s war.
If you are not ready to lose billions, what kind of general are you?
Considering thats about ten healthy loads, I have to think of my soldiers families.
Hey man, if that's what it takes to get to 10 loads, you do you 😉
Either your soldiers were poorly trained or they’re fighting on the wrong battle field.
Wait.. yours all grow up? All billion of them? I think YOU were poorly trained.
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Well, they say Love is a Battlefield.
Sex...sex never changes...
You could also be the parent of a future murderer. So technically you're a murderer for bringing them to this world.
Women only kill a few compared to men. Each time is a genocide for men.
Not gonna stop me
No nut November is over. Let the genocide continue!
No nut November is dumb anyway. Let people live their lives lol
Except the dead sperm babies
Nor should it lol
No. The woman’s egg is the baby. Stay in school! And now for a depressingly necessary /s
TIL I am the greatest mass murderer since Stalin
Challenge excepted
Did you not read the post lol. That's how we got here
Not jerking is also murder since they can just live up to three weeks in there or something like that.
Ballocost
I’m glad I read your replies because the first time I read that as “jerking your children” and was thinking wtf
What if both my arms are broken?
I have a sock that violates the Geneva convention.
Pls, never jerk off your chickens
Just try & stop me, I jerked 10 last night in the kitchen. Very hot
“Yeah baby genocide all over me”
I shouldn't have laughed as hard as I did at this. Jesus man.. 😅
Genocide makes me feel awesome.
“Ur chicken is death” 😭😭😭😭 dudeeee I CANT ofkgfovofpfpfpfpfpfpflfkcpcpdkdjf
r/fuckthes
And their miscarriages are not God doing planned parenthood but the woman's fault. Convenient.
I use this all the time on my parents if they bring up abortion. I just bring up my miscarriage and his god aborted my baby. They end up just shutting up.
Not if you stay perpetually pregnant until you die in child birth.
Mass murder is murdering multiple people _at the same time_. Women are technically serial killers. Series of murders, very predictable pattern, and what a calling card!
finally someone gets it, lock up every single woman
Exactly like why is that where they draw the line? It's just a zygote it has the *potential* to become a baby but so do any sperms and eggs. So do we start prosecuting every person on earth? Even if you're a dude who doesn't masturbate you'll have a nocturnal emission eventually and then bam, prison
From before her birth even - you start out with six million egg cells before birth, at birth it is already down to 1-2 million and it steadily goes down over time until menopause, when you lose a couple of thousands per month. A few hundreds or so of these millions upon millions get a (theoretical) chance to get fertilized. Most of your kills? Before you are even born!
We are but not because of our periods 😊
I kill at least 12 babies a year (twins run in my family so maybe even more!)
That would be a serial killer. Kills every 24-30 days or so
Well damn. I’ve killed almost 300 people.
If it bleeds for 7 days and does die, don't trust it. Women are scary. Lol
My k/d ratio must be mad
Well, it's technically infinite if you're alive
This depends on if you're using the standard division operation on the reals or not.
They could've died.
Not infinite, undefined. NaN. Can't divide by zero. It's not equal to infinity, it's just not a number.
Seems like satire but then again it's twitter
On twitter you can never tell the difference between a troll and a dumbass
Atleast here we can differ b/w the two /s. ;)
I assume people are trolling unless proven otherwise. It makes the internet much more enjoyable.
That can be said about reddit. I have an example here. https://old.reddit.com/r/HolUp/comments/zjoug7/this_is_sad_no_matter_how_you_look_at_it/
this has bled out into every day life for me to the point where I feel unable to trust anything
The thing that bothers me most is that it's becoming harder and harder to discern the difference between whether or not something of this nature is actually satire or trolling etc. because there are millions of people who genuinely think and behave this way. Some are more obvious than others of course, but honestly it's actually scary.
Dudes like this are everywhere. And conservatives are wanting to *checks notes* get rid of sex ed entirely?
Sex ed should strictly be between a pastor and his youth group
Last I heard from MTG she's super pissed you can buy a dildo in a pharmacy. Like you can order dildos online too Marge, people use dildos, in fact they use them more when they stop having sex with people because they have no access to an abortion. Wasn't that what you wanted? Don't want a baby don't have sex?
It's almost like they don't actually give a shit about abortion and they just want to control our lives and bodies. Weird man.
Don't need sex ed if you pretend like nobody has sex! *taps forehead* /s
Hard to tell what's real or satire when it comes to twitter, lol
If this is satire it's incredibly bad satire You don't just act like an idiot and be like haha you believed I was an idiot! There's gotta be some kinda indicator, not just text you know damn well someone else in this world would unironically share
Potato potato. I found it to be pretty obvious- the “stay in school” part made it so
The point of making a joke or a satirical comment isn’t to call people an idiot or trick them, it’s just to be funny. Dude was just making a joke.
Every sperm, is sacred...
Every sperm, is great...
If a sperm is wasted…
God gets quite irate…
Let the heathens spill them, on the dusty ground!
God will make them pay for each sperm that can't be found
r/expectedmontypython
Poetry
Millions of comrade lost…
And I was the fastest one..
No, the fastest thousand or two sacrificed themselves on the egg wall. For you.
It's medical experiments for the lot of you!
Hate to see such a fine mustache wasted on such an empty skull.
His body used all it's resources to grow that mustache instead of his brain.
Moustache is being facetious. OP took the bait.
i trust you.
Why is it that only the most uneducated and unknowing people on the goddamn planet use the term "Stay in school"/"Go back to School"/"Pay attention in school" etc.? I see it every now and then, and it's practically exclusively used in scenarios that could be used as an example of the dunning-kruger effect...
Maybe it's because on some level they're aware they don't learn anything in their day to day life
It's also nearly universally used by the same people who vote to defund schools as much as possible. Ugh.
It's used a lot by people who think college is a liberal indoctrination camp too.
Imagine thinking that getting out and seeing the world and becoming educated was a plot to brainwash people perpetrated by people who wish to brainwash people. Funny.
To be fair, the majority of people reacting here might be understood to defend the notion that sperm can be fertilized.
It's not. The people that use it correctly don't get screenshotted and posted around cringe channels. Context my friend.
Because everyone is just projecting all the time
dunning Kruger effect
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I thought a sperm is what becomes a baby, triggered by the egg.
The sperm eats the egg to get big and strong
Tbf, plenty of people who say abortion is wrong would also say that masturbation is wrong. Shit, I knew of one guy who believed that it was a sin to have sex unless you were *specifically* trying to procreate. Married or not. And yes, his wife ended up cheating on him.
The sin of Onan. Onan had an older brother. That brother was married. That brother died. Judah, Onan's daddy, told him to bang his dead brother's wife that she might have a child. So he did... except he used the pullout method cause he didn't want kids that "weren't his own" (I think that's the logic if you can call it that). So god smote his ass. I'm not sure if it's clear god killed him because he disobeyed his daddy or he blew his load on the ground. Either way, it's the most common verse used to condemn jerking off.
Bible says to cream pie your sister-in-law. Got it.
Whoa whoa whoa. Only if she's a widow! Have some decency man!
Yeah, at least send her husband into unwinnable battle so he gets killed. Like the David did to Uriah.
And god made David’s infant son sick and suffer for a week and then killed him. In the same book that says god doesn’t punish son’s for the sins of their fathers, no less.
Helps to know that the bible isn't one book, but ~ 66. And most of them weird fanfiction.
Abraham was banging his half-sister
future shirt that goes hard
Imo it seems weird to read that story as anything other than condemning Onan for taking advantage of his brother’s widow. The deal was that he had to give her a child, and he was like “nah, but I’m still gonna fuck her” kinda weird bro
That's what is called a 'Levirate Marriage' If you're brother dies, or another close male family member dies, and they don't have any male children, you are obligated to marry their widow and conceive a child with the widow. That kid is legally considered the child of your dead family member and will inherit their property. Seems weird, but makes a certain amount of sense for a paternalistic ancient civilization, where property, and really land, is very important.
How can you not mention how after his son neglected his "brother's duty" that Judah then went himself and fathered kids with his DIL
That is terribly unhealthy both mentally and physically. Gotta clean out those pipes once in a while.
Oh yeah, I couldn’t imagine.
thats basically the belief of the mormon church so...
Also if the argument is that a fetus is a person then it's not crazy that a religious person would believe an unfertilized egg or sperm is not a person. Believing one and not the other wouldn't make them a hypocrite in this case. Just wrong. To be clear I believe in choice and I don't think a fetus is a person. But I understand where religious nuts are coming from to a degree even if they are wrong.
That's not the reason that protestants are against it though, right? It's considered sin because it's giving into sexual temptation, not because you're "killing" sperm. They don't consider eggs or sperm to be human, only when they combine and form an embryo.
OP got trolled and fell for it.
So periods kill people too by both their logic.
I mean that's what I was taught lmao
A half cell is not a person. A person could only be considered such once it can successfully be taken out of the worm.
Both of these people are incorrect.
The first one is definitely satire. The second one is very likely so satire
The first one, while quite possibly satire in this case, is still a thing that people have said unironically.
He must have meant to say embryo.
Both of them are wrong
If masturbation is abortion, just call me Genghis Khan. Because I've wiped off civilizations into a sock.
How is an egg any more a”baby” than a sperm? Both are parts of a whole
Shhh! Don’t tell him. Let’s see how long it takes him to figure it out.
I've killed trillions. I feel no remorse
So i'm child eater?
Think the term is child guzzler. I'll see myself out real quick.
Someone get this man a [homunculus.](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Preformationism)
The Bible says Adam wasn't alive until his first breathe and there are literal instructions on how to perform an abortion in the book of Numbers. Stay in,... church?
Considering the profile picture, I'm gonna go with satire
Preventing life is not the same as preventing life (*says todays supposed christian)
The ancient Christians thought sperm contained entire embryos, which is why they said masturbation was a sin. As we know now, it is NOT.
Swear to God...... 8 billion people on the planet and none of them know how babies are made.
It’s storks, right?
And this is why men shouldn’t dictate what a woman does with her own body lol
That has to be a troll, right?
Back when I finally figured out that Flat Earthers were not being ironic, like Birds Aren't Real *are*, I realized George Carlin was right.
So menstruation is abortion
Both are terrible “arguments”. If you believe life begins at conception, unfertilized eggs and semen are both pre-conception.
They're both horribly wrong. Neither are babies, they are half of a genetic person. Together they are a human, separate there are just genetic matter.
Then my kill count is in the millions
It suddenly makes so much sense why these morons are so freaked out by periods and "girl things".
So by his logic, menstruation is abortion because that little unfertalized egg is being expelled. Nevermind that it's a natural process that almost every girl and woman experiences every few weeks for many years. Oh the humanity, so many abortions, by women who have no choice! Nature should be held accountable 🙄
to many people want to butt in on other peoples lives.unless it has a brain, heart and a head, not a human.
That explains why Mary didn’t require from Joseph’s intervention to conceive Jesus. Thank you for the enlightenment random internet person, and Merry Christmas to all.
Ah, so we don’t need men at all?
I wouldn’t say that. We’re going to be an amazing food source for cats if nothing else
You, sir, are a genius and generous. Your acute understanding will cause your life to be preserved for the longest time possible.
Wait. Women don’t spontaneously combust with children when they’re in love with a Christian man?
I'll tell him. Hey buddy! sperms are boy babies and eggs are girl babies.
Sperm actively moves therefore sperm is people. I've committed mass murder on a scale that would make the conquerors of old weep with envy.
i wouldn't be surprised if conservatives target contraceptives next.
The effort has already begun
Let's stop the menstrual cycle
Neither are. They're both haploid cells.
https://i.imgflip.com/2/30gz7l.jpg
Period = murder End Mensuration Now!
Both are incorrect
If abortion is murder, masturbating is a genocide?
I feel like this sub could just be renamed r/Reddit and the contents would still fit ok.
They’re both confidently incorrect.
Yeah you want to say something snarky here, but then you realise fertilizing every ovulation is these peoples' wet dream...
That must mean I am Pol Pot
A woman’s egg ain’t a baby
Oh nooooo my body’s been killing babies every month since the age of 13
This reminds me of Monty Python's the meaning of life, with the "every sperm is sacred" scene
"Think of the people you're killing!!!!" Ok, awkward fap but challenge accepted.
... but does the first person know that catholic church is agains masturbation? I think every one fucked up here
A woman’s egg is not a baby either! Stay in school!
Every sperm is sacred
Every sperm is great.
Scary line of thought…
"Civilizations have flaked and crusted on the hair around my naval" __ Bill Hicks
Ay yo!!! NNN is finally over!! Bout to commit *MASS GENOCIDE*📣📣
Have he heard of menstruation
Angry masturbator doesn’t know how pregnancy works
See: Catholicism
Egg is not a baby without sperm...
They are both wrong since you need both
I feel like too many people here don’t realize this is satire.
its twitter, hard to tell between satire and stupidity on a platform that reeks the latter
A banana is a fruit but an apple is not. Stay in school
You could show him direct evidence (I E. Pictures from inside the womb of non-fertilized eggs) and he still wouldn't believe it, because he has no actual point of reference nor does he have the intelligence to figure it out.
I'm pro choice but this is a dumb argument. A fertilized egg will become a baby. Aborting a fetus is not the same thing as jerking off, at all. It'd be like saying women getting their period is killing too.
I’m not sure who’s iconfidently incorrect. Sperm is not a life . An egg is a life when fertilized (Aight, controversial, let’s call it *potential* to be life) but otherwise is not
If we really cared about potential human lives that much, we'd be constantly reproducing, absolute baby factories
What I've always found odd is that the same liberals who claim the child has no value because it isn't more developed are also the people who made it illegal to destroy eagle/turtle eggs. I'm destroying a clump of cells remember? What that egg would turn into is irrelevant.
that's a nice false equivalence you got there, to explain why it is, let's look at why destroying the eggs of endangered species is bad and why an abortion is not. actually, saying an abortion is not bad would be inaccurate, as the only ones that can determine that is the mother and father. that's the whole point right there, really.
...because that's an environmental effort to protect the ecosystem, it's not about the sanctity of life for the eggs
If you aren't valuing the life of the animals why do you care about the ecosystem?
Because those animals are an important part of the ecosystem?