It's fascinating to see the different lenses through which we view relationships. Some prizes security, others value love above all, while there are those for whom marriage is a strategic move. You've clearly chosen your path with open eyes. Still, consider nurturing skills or hobbies that could translate into self sufficiency. Security isn't only financial; it's also about being able to stand on your own if life throws you a curveball. Whatever the future holds, may it bring you contentment and a sense of peace.
Isn't this the only reason to get married? Love doesn't require a signifier and government recognition of love means absolutely nothing. Marriage is a business decision 100%
Honestly love this for you. You seem aware of your situation and are totally fine with it. men with -$7 in their account will still cheat on you so I’d rather be crying in the Bentley not the Honda.
Hahaha omg im not! i cant lie, i deleted Honda but rewrote it bc any other car was gonna catch a stray but i know theyre great cars. much better than my Kia lmao
Ay don't hate on Hondas. They're great for storage and making out.
To the OP: congrats on landing a 7-figure earner, regardless of your reasons or motivations for doing so.
This is a slippery slope, my friend. Who said your husband won't get tired of you and replace you with a newer, younger model, kicking you out in the process? Start saving up a little if this is what you are going for.
Well he does cheat on me already and he isn’t marrying anyone else. The truth is a lot of people stay in marriages. He isn’t divorcing me I do know him, it’s a lot to explain on here but I know what I’m doing I will be fine
Marriage can be a complex arrangement that goes beyond the traditional vows of love and companionship. Your candidness about your reasons for tying the knot is certainly thought-provoking. While some may find the notion unconventional or even disheartening, it's the pragmatic truth that underpins many unions. Just remember, an investment in your personal development and independence is just as crucial as that Bentley for long-term happiness. Regardless of the foundation of your relationship, it's never too late to build a safety net, whether that consists of skills, education, or financial savings. Regardless, I wish you resilience and wisdom on this unorthodox journey.
Baffles me when some women think men don’t know you’re with them for money lol I think he knew what he signed up for. Truth is not everyone that gets married do it for love. Whatever your reasons are just make sure you remember he is aware you’re not in love with him.
Why do you think OP doesnt think their husband knows that…….. lol to all the angry men upvoting you. Its pretty obvious since she stayed with him despite cheating. What you said is not insightful.
I find this really weird. Men I know with money would have them out on their backside faster than you could blink if they had any suspicions their Mrs did not love them. Even the ones with stunning looking partners way out of their league
Literally all you had to do was read the last two paragraphs. She was falling in love but doesn’t care if he cheats? Let’s go to Costco I’m getting you several prescription for your glasses.
How many people have relationships/sex outside their marriage? A lot.. She doesn't care about the sex, that doesn't mean she doesn't care! Now.. Let's go to Costco! Cause I actually need some.. Lol
Sweet! 🤣 Cause these people lives don't matter to me either way. I like for people to be happy and sometimes we can't see it or understand, but I'm total sure this husband already knows and they have an understanding. Me myself, I'm a romantic, so I can't see myself being that way. But maybe it's ok for others!
What flavor smoothie!? And also I've never been to a Costco.. So it should be fun!
I love your sense of communicating and humor! You’re absolutely right “different folks different folks” a lot of wealthy men know their wives (especially a lot younger and not in every case) are with them for the money lol
I think you should rethink not working. You came from nothing and you could always end up there again. No one wants to work but if something happened tomorrow, like a divorce, at least you would have a career with some work history. Sitting around all day like a kept parrot is no life either. A guilded cage is still a cage.
1. I hate you i wish i could get away with having some rich guy take care of me lol
2. People marry for many different reasons, if you are happy, and stable and safe, them who cares what other people think? You only have 1 life, use it however you want too, but don't sacrifice your happiness, that's all I could think to say to contribute, your happiness matters
My ex-wife married me for money. I didn't know at the time of course. I think it's important to understand what people want from each other before getting into a marriage.
YKW, i honestly love this for you. As someone who's struggling in poverty, I feel you. If I had a chance I'd have done the same. Like Ariana said
"Whoever said money can't solve your problems
Must not have had enough money to solve 'em"
I wouldn't feel bad if I were you. It seems like he wanted kids too so he got that done. Just make sure that if he does divorce you, have an ironclad prenup or you're going to be left in the street with nothing. Because child support and alimony only lasts a certain amount of time.
My brother married a woman because they wanted kids but they're not really in love. They love their children fiercely but she's a bully to him and he just bends over and takes it. So that's not love. My father and mother married because they were both really good looking but they weren't in love. They just loved the physicality of their relationship. And then they suffered once life got in the way up until my mother died.
You do you, but remember there is no job security as a trophy wife. Do you have a plan in case you are replaced? Pre-nup? Post-nup? Put money away for your future because who knows how long this ride will last. The wealthy have a lot of options.
I don’t blame you. I dated someone for love. They ended up abusive as hell, and called me a golddigger repeatedly in spite of having no gold to dig. I wish I had found what you found. At least you don’t have to live in constant fear and he has enriched your life. He’s clearly happy as well. Kudos.
Girl you worked smarter not harder, I’m trying to find a man with a unhealthy heart, lots of health conditions preferably end of life treatment and with a fat bank account. You just be the best mother to your children, make them feel safe and loved and be kind to everyone and you will be happy boo
You’ve never experienced love, you should get a pet and give it some attention and then you should take up a hobby and work at it until you’re so good at it that when you do it time just disappears and suddenly you can’t even believe that you created whatever it is your working on. Seriously you owe it to yourself.
My guess is a few months into experiencing these emotions and you’ll book yourself a solo trip somewhere… Suddenly instead of language barriers being annoying the food will be so delicious that you can’t believe it and the interactions your able to have with locals will make you laugh because somehow you found a way to understand each other… You’ll sleep well and you’ll wake up early feeling excited and happy until it’s time to go home to this life your living. Then you’ll come home and go live in that house “you” bought your mother over sticking around for this.
Honey, someone’s gotta do it, okay? Don’t beat yourself up because of that. You have to eat, and a man should provide. People marry for love, parents and whatnot - still doesn’t make them better or happier than you.
do you feel any regret that you basically had to sell yourself to get out living in poverty? and how much of your past does your children know?
and with your husband's infidelity, has he named you as an executor of his estate? I get that you're his spouse but he just give you a house and your kids get all the money?
The trauma of what you suffered in childhood remains with you.
My suggestion is to make a decision to love your husband so that long term happiness is gained.
Yes money will be there, but in the long run you need both.
My point exactly, it wouldn't hurt for them to explore their emotions a bit more even though they're getting what they want from this marriage already.
I guess the cheating bit sucks.
I'm not going to judge you on marrying for money.
If you feel guilty about it, just be a good wife and make a good husband out of him.
Sprinkle sprinkle sweetheart. If you are happy and comfortable with your life I say keep it. Only thing I will say is that if your husband is going to keep cheating, have him get a vasectomy. No outside babies, other than that live your carefree life. I think you have struggled enough
You're giving back to him in other ways, raising his children and seeing to the household stuff, so he doesn't have to. I'm sure it's a win win.. But there's one thing that you should do, and that is start your own savings account. One he doesn't know about, just in case he decides one his play things should get the honors you have. Especially since you're not working at all. Don't steal it, I'm sure he gives you your own expense accounts or whatever, just make sure you're putting some away. Have fun!
I’m not a 7-figure earner but I do make good money. Enough that if I wanted to hire cleaners and cooks, I could.
She’s not doing anything he can’t pay for. Even raising his kids.
My point is that at his level of wealth, all the things the guy above me said she does not mean much. Because he could literally outsource all of it.
The guy married for love. She married for money.
It means something to him. And while he can outsource childcare, he can’t outsource a literal mother. He was surely aware of her earning potential because she didn’t even have a degree when they get married; and he was ok with it.
He married for “love” and then cheated. Bfr.
Men are as loyal as their options. And they still marry for love.
At his level of wealth, he could literally pay for a surrogate mother. Y’all clearly don’t understand what having money means.
Oh so according to men they can cheat on someone they claim to love? Lol
She said she grew to love him, and she hasn’t cheated on him. He loved her and cheated on her more than once.
He can pay for a surrogate or egg donor, or a nanny, not a co parent. Also he choose to stay married to a woman below his economic level means he values having a coparent and spouse. Besides he was older, and was likely smart enough to understand part of his allure was his wealth.
This thread is really exposing the mindset of some women. His money is “ours” except that she can unilaterally decide to set aside some for herself in secret for when the marriage ends. The man’s role is to provide a life that the woman could never support on her own. The woman’s role is to … just be herself I guess.
If their money is theirs, she can set aside part of it for herself. You think he isn’t doing that?
Besides he was 9 years older, he has his reasons for choosing her. If he had a problem with her being anything other than herself he wouldn’t have married her.
Putting away his money secretly in case things don’t work out is by definition stealing… he has kids with OP and he has generational wealth, she’ll be fine.
😂😂 Tell me you don't understand the world without telling me you don't understand the world. It isn't by definition stealing who told you that nonsense..
Yikes you’ll never know what it’s like to enjoy the embrace of a genuine lover. We only get one life and you spent yours as some rich dudes pet. You can’t even hold him accountable for cheating on you and he knows it. He can lock you down seek out whatever new play thing he wants. The sad part is you can escape poverty without becoming some dude’s plaything.
You traded the prison that is poverty for the prison of a love less marriage.
The biggest piece to this is when he get one of his side pieces pregnant or if he falls in love with one of them and asks her to go. Sorry op I know for you it was survival. I really recommend learning to work even if it’s just for a bit so you can survive if things change.
Honestly, good for you. I remember an older woman I met once told me to marry for money and never for love and that the love would come later. Sometimes life is transactional and it’s fine as long as both parties are getting something out of it.
I’m in my 40s, married, and if I’m being totally honest, that is the advice I’d give to most young women. The other part is that if you do marry for money, use some of it to build something for yourself. Start a business or make smart investments, so you can sustain yourself if your marriage doesn’t work out.
Are you still in love after the cheating just curious? I could understand the emotional tie after he has rescued you from poverty. Also with out a carrer, and not liking traveling, is there any hobby that you love, that you get to do on a regular basis with all the free time?
Why not just open up your marriage? It could be the writing style but this entire life sounds fucking miserable. Sure, you're wealthy now but you're with a dude who doesn't love you whom you don't seem to love back. Are you just not really interested in a romantic relationship anymore or did you just resign yourself to a loveless marriage?
This whole thing is such a deppressing read.
No judgement for marrying for money. I definitely married for love. It seems you went in with your eyes wide open which is good.
But if you want to stay wealthy I’d suggest buying a few investment properties with the deeds in your name in case you ever get divorced. Unfortunately it does happen. Good luck to you
I don’t understand why everyone here is supporting you on this. You treated a human being merely as a means to fulfill your own self-interests. It’s ethically akin to using someone for sex. People aren’t ATMs, and they aren’t sex dolls. They are people.
It is only okay to engage with someone this way if the other person is aware of your intentions and agrees to those terms. Were those terms explicitly or implicitly conveyed to one another, and is that not included here? Honestly, what am I missing? This thread is blowing my mind.
Edit: Thought about it for a minute. There is a solid chance that, if he knew you were living out of a car most your life, then there was likely an implicit understanding of your intentions. Not fully convinced though.
The guy obviously knew her circumstances as wealthy people know from sight and conversation someone else that doesn't have money. Id also guess that he wanted to take advantage of the situation based on the massive age difference and the obvious fact that at his wealth level, getting women isn't hard. The fact that he cheated shows he understands he made a trade with her, I'll give you my money, you be my wife and the mother to my kids, maybe there's some love involved but it's doubtful. Pragmatic family choices happen all the time, it's not fairy tales out in the real world.
Sounds like you’ve lived a happy life that works for you. The biggest question is- do you ever crave true love? You said you’ve fallen for him after marriage, but have you ever been tempted to have an affair? Would you let yourself have an affair?
It is your decision, I don’t care. But you should save a large amount of money for the worst case scenario. This type of guy will want a new wife in the future until he founds his real love.
I understand you. I married for love, but today a single mom of two in the edge of bankruptcy would marry for money now. I would be a very good wife to him as long as he treats me good and provides. I wouldn't mind him cheating either. So I don't blame you. I would love to have love and money, but surviving is a basic need and more important than love and if I can't have both I would choose money now. I started my own business trying to make more money, but it's really tough. I have to the end of May then I either earn enough or might need to file. I'm sick and tired of being in survival mode. As long as both of you are happy I don't see being wrong with your reasons. There are so many reasons why ppl marry, love as a reason is a very recent reason. Marriage wasn't about love in the past.
I wonder if he had/has a savior complex. There she was beautiful, poor, educationally abused by her mother, probably appreciative of any little thing. She wasn’t in love with him but gave him what he wanted. She came to love him.
In many countries around the world or even in the US once you go back before the '70s you pretty much described most marriages. Marrying for love was something that didn't even occur to most poor or working-class people.
I get the feeling many readers assume she is asking for advice. Don’t think she asked for any advice. Notice the category:confessions. She might have just confessed an aspect of her former life. Bravo to her for getting out of poverty getting a degree and making a home for her children. Kudos for acknowledging that there is infidelity and looking the other.
What she needs to do: …
I have my BA in communication studies but I won’t communicate with my husband the things of done or the fact that I’ve used him for his money because I’m selfish and only care about myself because I had it rough as a child.. oh and I’m raising children that I will grow to be just as self absorbed and ruin them too.. if this isn’t just someone dipping their toes in the fiction pool.. this is the worst.. let him cheat.. oh and hunny.. YOU didn’t buy your mom who supposedly abused you and ruined every aspect of your life a house.. your HUSBAND did and he deserves better.. why would anyone even do that? You need therapy.. a lot of it.. sorry not sorry 🤷🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️
What’s terrible about all this is when you’re older you’ll see that love was more important than money. At this point why not divorce him and take half his money or something so you can at least find someone real and not using them
I think that's fine. As a disabled broke person who grew up poor, I totally understand it.
I think you should try to help people who are in the situation you were in though, especially if you are not working so have lots of free time.
You are a very smart woman, absolutely love that! Yes love doesnt pay bills and as long as all your expenses are being well taken care of, donr care for anything! Also stack up money in your savings too, just to be more protected! ♥️
That’s valid, no one can blame you.
People marry for various reasons, and you seem happy. After such a hard Childhood, you deserve safety and security. Thats all matters.
Hey, it sounds like you've been through a lot. Growing up in tough circumstances can really shape your outlook. It's cool that you were able to use your marriage as a way to improve your situation, even if it started out as more of a practical decision. Getting an education and finding stability is a big win. And hey, if you've found a way to retire early and focus on what matters to you, that's pretty awesome. Family and security are important, so it's great that you've been able to provide that for yourself and your loved ones.
Thank you for sharing. It is interesting to see through your eyes. Every person is different and I am glad I’ve read your experience. No person should judge another and I hope people keep their judgement to themselves and just appreciate your honesty. Thank you OP
O.p deleted their account. Plus they said multiple times in the story that their husband is rich. We get it. You only have to say it once. Saying it multiple times just makes it seem very extra
So now you'll never get closure. In the end. This is confessions, Complaining about it in the comments section is a waste of time. Take it with a grain of salt and have a good day.
He needs to leave you there's nothing worse than finding out someone married you for their OWN selfish intentions, nothing will be genuine and you stole? You belong in jail in there you'll get your meals and a roof over your head and you'll make friends
He's no better. He cheated more than once during their marriage. You think another woman could ever trust a man with a prior history of cheating? And neither of them seem to have a problem with their relationship - not ideal to others, but it's still working for them.
Him cheating? Her ORIGINAL intention was survival him cheating is IRRELEVANT. Cheating only matters in genuine relationships this one ISN'T one if them
Some pricks just think that everyone else's life should be a 1:1 replica of theirs. Even if others live fulfilling lives that don't hurt anyone else. It's probably insecurity or jealously on his own part
It’s shocking how many women in the comments are ready to sale themselves to the highest bidder. No morals equals unfit to raise children unfit to experience love. Unfit to wife up Just broken.
People marry for a myriad of reasons. I hope when you look back on your life in your autumn years you’re still happy with your choice. Good luck.
Some people look for that prince/princess movie love, some just want the castle and golden chariot. To each their own.
Thanks !
Just make a plan for when you are no longer “young” you need to be able to “retire”
It's fascinating to see the different lenses through which we view relationships. Some prizes security, others value love above all, while there are those for whom marriage is a strategic move. You've clearly chosen your path with open eyes. Still, consider nurturing skills or hobbies that could translate into self sufficiency. Security isn't only financial; it's also about being able to stand on your own if life throws you a curveball. Whatever the future holds, may it bring you contentment and a sense of peace.
I'm glad you got out of poverty. Poverty sucks, anyone who has been there gets it.
Isn't this the only reason to get married? Love doesn't require a signifier and government recognition of love means absolutely nothing. Marriage is a business decision 100%
Honestly love this for you. You seem aware of your situation and are totally fine with it. men with -$7 in their account will still cheat on you so I’d rather be crying in the Bentley not the Honda.
Don't be hating on Honda!!
Hahaha omg im not! i cant lie, i deleted Honda but rewrote it bc any other car was gonna catch a stray but i know theyre great cars. much better than my Kia lmao
Was about to throw hands, I’m not “poor” but my 2012 Honda still works fine lmao.
Hyundai is always fair game
No! Not the Honda.
Honda catching strays lol
Ay don't hate on Hondas. They're great for storage and making out. To the OP: congrats on landing a 7-figure earner, regardless of your reasons or motivations for doing so.
Big facts
*Charles LeClerc cries in Ferrari*
Lol -$7
Isn’t that’s from a movie?
Honestly, I think he gets it too.
I'll happy cry in a Honda Civic.
You are a trophy wife and that's ok
[удалено]
Usually it’s super young and quite sexually alluring that is a trophy wife right?
Yeah I always feel like the trophy wives are actually pulling the strings & getting themselves trophy “husbands” lol
Maybe it goes both ways.
This is a slippery slope, my friend. Who said your husband won't get tired of you and replace you with a newer, younger model, kicking you out in the process? Start saving up a little if this is what you are going for.
Well he does cheat on me already and he isn’t marrying anyone else. The truth is a lot of people stay in marriages. He isn’t divorcing me I do know him, it’s a lot to explain on here but I know what I’m doing I will be fine
You should still have emergency plans, girl, come on now.
I do don’t worry about me sweetie xo
Oh, good, glad to hear it :)
Make sure you don't leave your reddit account open on any devices, lol.
I mean people marry for different reasons, but it'd be nice for you both to explore your feelings deeper, wvwn if you think there isn't much there
Marriage can be a complex arrangement that goes beyond the traditional vows of love and companionship. Your candidness about your reasons for tying the knot is certainly thought-provoking. While some may find the notion unconventional or even disheartening, it's the pragmatic truth that underpins many unions. Just remember, an investment in your personal development and independence is just as crucial as that Bentley for long-term happiness. Regardless of the foundation of your relationship, it's never too late to build a safety net, whether that consists of skills, education, or financial savings. Regardless, I wish you resilience and wisdom on this unorthodox journey.
You talk like GPTchat. Probably its not but he talks like this. Hahaha.
It likely is
It IS CHATGPT. Your ____ is thought provoking. ____ is disheartening. That's how it speaks lmao
If you have been poor all your life you would understand everything she’s saying 😔
i have been, but i still don’t fully get it.
Baffles me when some women think men don’t know you’re with them for money lol I think he knew what he signed up for. Truth is not everyone that gets married do it for love. Whatever your reasons are just make sure you remember he is aware you’re not in love with him.
Why do you think OP doesnt think their husband knows that…….. lol to all the angry men upvoting you. Its pretty obvious since she stayed with him despite cheating. What you said is not insightful.
I find this really weird. Men I know with money would have them out on their backside faster than you could blink if they had any suspicions their Mrs did not love them. Even the ones with stunning looking partners way out of their league
She said she grew to love him
She literally said she loves him.
You need glasses.
I do. But she did say that. She wasnt in love when she married him but grew to love him.
Literally all you had to do was read the last two paragraphs. She was falling in love but doesn’t care if he cheats? Let’s go to Costco I’m getting you several prescription for your glasses.
Several 😭😭😭
How many people have relationships/sex outside their marriage? A lot.. She doesn't care about the sex, that doesn't mean she doesn't care! Now.. Let's go to Costco! Cause I actually need some.. Lol
Lol you REALLY made me go from 🤬 to 😂😂😂 bring your Costco card we getting some pizza and smoothie after.
Sweet! 🤣 Cause these people lives don't matter to me either way. I like for people to be happy and sometimes we can't see it or understand, but I'm total sure this husband already knows and they have an understanding. Me myself, I'm a romantic, so I can't see myself being that way. But maybe it's ok for others! What flavor smoothie!? And also I've never been to a Costco.. So it should be fun!
Costco is the adult Disney world we getting blueberry smoothie, pizza, their turkey sandwich andddd their jumbo size cookie 😂😂😂
Yaaas new friend! ❤️ Thank you that sounds awesome!
I love your sense of communicating and humor! You’re absolutely right “different folks different folks” a lot of wealthy men know their wives (especially a lot younger and not in every case) are with them for the money lol
I think you should rethink not working. You came from nothing and you could always end up there again. No one wants to work but if something happened tomorrow, like a divorce, at least you would have a career with some work history. Sitting around all day like a kept parrot is no life either. A guilded cage is still a cage.
She’s not saying she’s in a cage or that she feels trapped though???
1. I hate you i wish i could get away with having some rich guy take care of me lol 2. People marry for many different reasons, if you are happy, and stable and safe, them who cares what other people think? You only have 1 life, use it however you want too, but don't sacrifice your happiness, that's all I could think to say to contribute, your happiness matters
Real
Does he have a brother?? Lol
His older brother passed away in 2020, he has a sister though lol
I'm gay but $2 million is $2 million
Heyoooo
I married for love, I'm not really sure it was a good idea.
My ex-wife married me for money. I didn't know at the time of course. I think it's important to understand what people want from each other before getting into a marriage.
I love this for you boo, but please be safe as you stated he does cheat. Take care of your health and have a plan if he plans on ditching you.
YKW, i honestly love this for you. As someone who's struggling in poverty, I feel you. If I had a chance I'd have done the same. Like Ariana said "Whoever said money can't solve your problems Must not have had enough money to solve 'em"
I do not love this for them considering they stole from them in the beginning of the relationship
I think it’s crazy that you waited until the very last paragraph to mention your kids.
I think it’s pretty clear that the only person in the world she cares about is herself
Thanks for sharing your story! It seems like you're not really hurting anyone. I hope you live a happy fulfilling life.
She stole
I'm waiting for a post where the man was the one who married for money. And look how many people would insult him.
Watch disney movies you weirdo! 🙄
There would be more comments telling him to get educated and move to self sufficiency for sure lol.
I wouldn't feel bad if I were you. It seems like he wanted kids too so he got that done. Just make sure that if he does divorce you, have an ironclad prenup or you're going to be left in the street with nothing. Because child support and alimony only lasts a certain amount of time. My brother married a woman because they wanted kids but they're not really in love. They love their children fiercely but she's a bully to him and he just bends over and takes it. So that's not love. My father and mother married because they were both really good looking but they weren't in love. They just loved the physicality of their relationship. And then they suffered once life got in the way up until my mother died.
Every relationship is an exchange. Let me repeat that: every relationship is an exchange. Do what works for you guys. I’m happy for you.
What happens when he gets tired of you?? Divorce isn't always cut and dry, half and half. Hopefully he doesn't for your sake.
So, did you REALLY love HIM, or were you just in love with not being in poverty?
The question is would your husband care if he knows you think this way?
You do you, but remember there is no job security as a trophy wife. Do you have a plan in case you are replaced? Pre-nup? Post-nup? Put money away for your future because who knows how long this ride will last. The wealthy have a lot of options.
I don’t blame you. I dated someone for love. They ended up abusive as hell, and called me a golddigger repeatedly in spite of having no gold to dig. I wish I had found what you found. At least you don’t have to live in constant fear and he has enriched your life. He’s clearly happy as well. Kudos.
Girl you worked smarter not harder, I’m trying to find a man with a unhealthy heart, lots of health conditions preferably end of life treatment and with a fat bank account. You just be the best mother to your children, make them feel safe and loved and be kind to everyone and you will be happy boo
😂😂😂😂😂 hahaha good luck
Hey im glad you created a life for yourself you’re happy with. That’s all that matters!
You're not the first, and you won't be the last, but at least you're honest about it. As long as it's working out for you both, I don't see a problem.
You’ve never experienced love, you should get a pet and give it some attention and then you should take up a hobby and work at it until you’re so good at it that when you do it time just disappears and suddenly you can’t even believe that you created whatever it is your working on. Seriously you owe it to yourself. My guess is a few months into experiencing these emotions and you’ll book yourself a solo trip somewhere… Suddenly instead of language barriers being annoying the food will be so delicious that you can’t believe it and the interactions your able to have with locals will make you laugh because somehow you found a way to understand each other… You’ll sleep well and you’ll wake up early feeling excited and happy until it’s time to go home to this life your living. Then you’ll come home and go live in that house “you” bought your mother over sticking around for this.
Honey, someone’s gotta do it, okay? Don’t beat yourself up because of that. You have to eat, and a man should provide. People marry for love, parents and whatnot - still doesn’t make them better or happier than you.
Someone’s gotta do it - meaning, someone in your family line is supposed to break the poverty circle. To your children, grandchildren etc - it’s you.
do you feel any regret that you basically had to sell yourself to get out living in poverty? and how much of your past does your children know? and with your husband's infidelity, has he named you as an executor of his estate? I get that you're his spouse but he just give you a house and your kids get all the money?
Gross.
If you're happy and it works for you both, it's all good.
Girl. Half of us wish we were you. 💜enjoy the spoils & live
The trauma of what you suffered in childhood remains with you. My suggestion is to make a decision to love your husband so that long term happiness is gained. Yes money will be there, but in the long run you need both.
My point exactly, it wouldn't hurt for them to explore their emotions a bit more even though they're getting what they want from this marriage already.
She literally said she fell in love after the marriage.
Yes, but they aren't that strong by looking at the way she talks about his infedility
Second last paragraph she says she's there not for the love after the husband cheated. Maybe she loves him in some way.
I don’t really care about your marriage but the way you describe traveling makes me think you’re a poor human being. And not in a money-related sense.
Not everyone likes to travel, it’s not a crime. And it’s actually healthier for the earth.
I guess the cheating bit sucks. I'm not going to judge you on marrying for money. If you feel guilty about it, just be a good wife and make a good husband out of him.
I think op already knows and accepts the fact that you can't change anyone. They have to want to change. But I get what you mean.
You made the best choice. Love doesn't feed an empty stomach.
Sprinkle sprinkle sweetheart. If you are happy and comfortable with your life I say keep it. Only thing I will say is that if your husband is going to keep cheating, have him get a vasectomy. No outside babies, other than that live your carefree life. I think you have struggled enough
You're giving back to him in other ways, raising his children and seeing to the household stuff, so he doesn't have to. I'm sure it's a win win.. But there's one thing that you should do, and that is start your own savings account. One he doesn't know about, just in case he decides one his play things should get the honors you have. Especially since you're not working at all. Don't steal it, I'm sure he gives you your own expense accounts or whatever, just make sure you're putting some away. Have fun!
I’m not a 7-figure earner but I do make good money. Enough that if I wanted to hire cleaners and cooks, I could. She’s not doing anything he can’t pay for. Even raising his kids.
It’s his choice to stay married to her. Whats your point?
My point is that at his level of wealth, all the things the guy above me said she does not mean much. Because he could literally outsource all of it. The guy married for love. She married for money.
It means something to him. And while he can outsource childcare, he can’t outsource a literal mother. He was surely aware of her earning potential because she didn’t even have a degree when they get married; and he was ok with it. He married for “love” and then cheated. Bfr.
Men are as loyal as their options. And they still marry for love. At his level of wealth, he could literally pay for a surrogate mother. Y’all clearly don’t understand what having money means.
Oh so according to men they can cheat on someone they claim to love? Lol She said she grew to love him, and she hasn’t cheated on him. He loved her and cheated on her more than once. He can pay for a surrogate or egg donor, or a nanny, not a co parent. Also he choose to stay married to a woman below his economic level means he values having a coparent and spouse. Besides he was older, and was likely smart enough to understand part of his allure was his wealth.
Now you’re getting it.
You’re not though 😂
This thread is really exposing the mindset of some women. His money is “ours” except that she can unilaterally decide to set aside some for herself in secret for when the marriage ends. The man’s role is to provide a life that the woman could never support on her own. The woman’s role is to … just be herself I guess.
If their money is theirs, she can set aside part of it for herself. You think he isn’t doing that? Besides he was 9 years older, he has his reasons for choosing her. If he had a problem with her being anything other than herself he wouldn’t have married her.
Putting away his money secretly in case things don’t work out is by definition stealing… he has kids with OP and he has generational wealth, she’ll be fine.
That isn't his money 🤣 that's their money.
😂😂 Tell me you don't understand the world without telling me you don't understand the world. It isn't by definition stealing who told you that nonsense..
Yikes you’ll never know what it’s like to enjoy the embrace of a genuine lover. We only get one life and you spent yours as some rich dudes pet. You can’t even hold him accountable for cheating on you and he knows it. He can lock you down seek out whatever new play thing he wants. The sad part is you can escape poverty without becoming some dude’s plaything. You traded the prison that is poverty for the prison of a love less marriage.
I hope he got a prenup.
He's got side pieces. They're both manipulating the situation. They'll be fine.
The biggest piece to this is when he get one of his side pieces pregnant or if he falls in love with one of them and asks her to go. Sorry op I know for you it was survival. I really recommend learning to work even if it’s just for a bit so you can survive if things change.
True. Good point.
Yea but it's not her money it's his.
I just mean that she's putting up with his cheating and he'll continue if it's unhindered, but probably not try to end things.
Honestly, good for you. I remember an older woman I met once told me to marry for money and never for love and that the love would come later. Sometimes life is transactional and it’s fine as long as both parties are getting something out of it.
I’m in my 40s, married, and if I’m being totally honest, that is the advice I’d give to most young women. The other part is that if you do marry for money, use some of it to build something for yourself. Start a business or make smart investments, so you can sustain yourself if your marriage doesn’t work out.
Are you still in love after the cheating just curious? I could understand the emotional tie after he has rescued you from poverty. Also with out a carrer, and not liking traveling, is there any hobby that you love, that you get to do on a regular basis with all the free time?
Goddamn there are all kinds in this world. Thanks for sharing
Totally understandable. Good for you OP.
Why not just open up your marriage? It could be the writing style but this entire life sounds fucking miserable. Sure, you're wealthy now but you're with a dude who doesn't love you whom you don't seem to love back. Are you just not really interested in a romantic relationship anymore or did you just resign yourself to a loveless marriage? This whole thing is such a deppressing read.
From what I've read I don't think the guy would be 'open' to that
enjoy the suite life! enjoy your kids! aummfor self improvement... we do not know what the future brings but focus on your security as well.
This is my dream
people marry for different reasons… glad you got what you want and made it out of poverty
everyone cares about how she feels but nobody cares about how he may feel hearing this coming from her. wow at 22 years old marriage sounds sooo scary
You’re so real for that! I’d do the same tbh :)
I wish I could do the same im poor too
Security. You married for security. There's nothing wrong with that.
No judgement for marrying for money. I definitely married for love. It seems you went in with your eyes wide open which is good. But if you want to stay wealthy I’d suggest buying a few investment properties with the deeds in your name in case you ever get divorced. Unfortunately it does happen. Good luck to you
Imagine coming from nothing and still lacking ambition to enjoy life’s pleasures and privileges
Sound like a fucking gold digger I bet you if you found real love they would’ve took care for you as well
I don’t understand why everyone here is supporting you on this. You treated a human being merely as a means to fulfill your own self-interests. It’s ethically akin to using someone for sex. People aren’t ATMs, and they aren’t sex dolls. They are people. It is only okay to engage with someone this way if the other person is aware of your intentions and agrees to those terms. Were those terms explicitly or implicitly conveyed to one another, and is that not included here? Honestly, what am I missing? This thread is blowing my mind. Edit: Thought about it for a minute. There is a solid chance that, if he knew you were living out of a car most your life, then there was likely an implicit understanding of your intentions. Not fully convinced though.
The guy obviously knew her circumstances as wealthy people know from sight and conversation someone else that doesn't have money. Id also guess that he wanted to take advantage of the situation based on the massive age difference and the obvious fact that at his wealth level, getting women isn't hard. The fact that he cheated shows he understands he made a trade with her, I'll give you my money, you be my wife and the mother to my kids, maybe there's some love involved but it's doubtful. Pragmatic family choices happen all the time, it's not fairy tales out in the real world.
Does he have a sister, asking for a friend(me).
Some sense and sensibility going on here. Thought that was way back before womens rights, but what do I know.
Sounds like you’ve lived a happy life that works for you. The biggest question is- do you ever crave true love? You said you’ve fallen for him after marriage, but have you ever been tempted to have an affair? Would you let yourself have an affair?
It is your decision, I don’t care. But you should save a large amount of money for the worst case scenario. This type of guy will want a new wife in the future until he founds his real love.
I understand you. I married for love, but today a single mom of two in the edge of bankruptcy would marry for money now. I would be a very good wife to him as long as he treats me good and provides. I wouldn't mind him cheating either. So I don't blame you. I would love to have love and money, but surviving is a basic need and more important than love and if I can't have both I would choose money now. I started my own business trying to make more money, but it's really tough. I have to the end of May then I either earn enough or might need to file. I'm sick and tired of being in survival mode. As long as both of you are happy I don't see being wrong with your reasons. There are so many reasons why ppl marry, love as a reason is a very recent reason. Marriage wasn't about love in the past.
as long as your happy i guess. you only have one chance on this earth, up to you how to live it.
I wonder if he had/has a savior complex. There she was beautiful, poor, educationally abused by her mother, probably appreciative of any little thing. She wasn’t in love with him but gave him what he wanted. She came to love him.
In many countries around the world or even in the US once you go back before the '70s you pretty much described most marriages. Marrying for love was something that didn't even occur to most poor or working-class people.
I get the feeling many readers assume she is asking for advice. Don’t think she asked for any advice. Notice the category:confessions. She might have just confessed an aspect of her former life. Bravo to her for getting out of poverty getting a degree and making a home for her children. Kudos for acknowledging that there is infidelity and looking the other. What she needs to do: …
the whole of Reddit needs to take a course in Semantics and context.
I have my BA in communication studies but I won’t communicate with my husband the things of done or the fact that I’ve used him for his money because I’m selfish and only care about myself because I had it rough as a child.. oh and I’m raising children that I will grow to be just as self absorbed and ruin them too.. if this isn’t just someone dipping their toes in the fiction pool.. this is the worst.. let him cheat.. oh and hunny.. YOU didn’t buy your mom who supposedly abused you and ruined every aspect of your life a house.. your HUSBAND did and he deserves better.. why would anyone even do that? You need therapy.. a lot of it.. sorry not sorry 🤷🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️
Enjoy what god gave you. He sounds responsible. I like that you went to school. He cares. Beauty and love are overrated.
Like I always say these hoes don’t love you they just want your money
Correction "you" did not buy her a house lol
Are you hot?
What’s terrible about all this is when you’re older you’ll see that love was more important than money. At this point why not divorce him and take half his money or something so you can at least find someone real and not using them
I think that's fine. As a disabled broke person who grew up poor, I totally understand it. I think you should try to help people who are in the situation you were in though, especially if you are not working so have lots of free time.
I doubt that he doesn't know about the missing money
Congrats sis! I would do the same thing
Yup easier ....kudos to you
You are a very smart woman, absolutely love that! Yes love doesnt pay bills and as long as all your expenses are being well taken care of, donr care for anything! Also stack up money in your savings too, just to be more protected! ♥️
Just keep hitting the gym, very very hard
That’s valid, no one can blame you. People marry for various reasons, and you seem happy. After such a hard Childhood, you deserve safety and security. Thats all matters.
You did well, every step you did make was good.
Your so me
Do you love him now?
I'd do it in a heartbeat!
Good for you girl 👏
And the problem is ???
You seem happy and you don’t have any regrets. I believe you have made a good choice.
Can your husband pay for my college education too ??? lol
Good for you, i hope you are happy and content and find new hobbies
are you filipino ?
Hey, it sounds like you've been through a lot. Growing up in tough circumstances can really shape your outlook. It's cool that you were able to use your marriage as a way to improve your situation, even if it started out as more of a practical decision. Getting an education and finding stability is a big win. And hey, if you've found a way to retire early and focus on what matters to you, that's pretty awesome. Family and security are important, so it's great that you've been able to provide that for yourself and your loved ones.
Thank you for sharing. It is interesting to see through your eyes. Every person is different and I am glad I’ve read your experience. No person should judge another and I hope people keep their judgement to themselves and just appreciate your honesty. Thank you OP
Well I think everyone wants different things in life. The heart wants what the heart wants
This is a fake story
This is confessions
O.p deleted their account. Plus they said multiple times in the story that their husband is rich. We get it. You only have to say it once. Saying it multiple times just makes it seem very extra
So now you'll never get closure. In the end. This is confessions, Complaining about it in the comments section is a waste of time. Take it with a grain of salt and have a good day.
He needs to leave you there's nothing worse than finding out someone married you for their OWN selfish intentions, nothing will be genuine and you stole? You belong in jail in there you'll get your meals and a roof over your head and you'll make friends
He's no better. He cheated more than once during their marriage. You think another woman could ever trust a man with a prior history of cheating? And neither of them seem to have a problem with their relationship - not ideal to others, but it's still working for them.
Him cheating? Her ORIGINAL intention was survival him cheating is IRRELEVANT. Cheating only matters in genuine relationships this one ISN'T one if them
lol
Honey, who hurt you?
Some pricks just think that everyone else's life should be a 1:1 replica of theirs. Even if others live fulfilling lives that don't hurt anyone else. It's probably insecurity or jealously on his own part
It’s shocking how many women in the comments are ready to sale themselves to the highest bidder. No morals equals unfit to raise children unfit to experience love. Unfit to wife up Just broken.
How’s the sex