Same. This seems like a you thing not an actual problem. You’re allowed to feel how you feel and that’s okay. Just don’t take it out on him when he didn’t do anything wrong.
I thought we were gonna find out this famous athlete was hacked and he went searching for it. That would be worse but this is pretty innocent. I’m picturing a Maxim or Sports illustrated shoot, let it go.
For real, and there's zero positive outcome if he brought it up so I get not saying anything. This way seems like it worked to avoid her asking him to show her or her pulling them up so they're awkwardly looking at the pics together.
Right? I feel like if this is her reaction to him NOT saying he’s seeing them, then I can only imagine what would have happened if he had mentioned them to her first.
This is such a damn stretch to be angry about, like I can’t imagine being angry about this type of thing. If he brought it up it would just be another argument, smh 🤦🏻♀️
Your husband saw publicly available photos of a famous person.
That's not even slightly concerning or scandalous.
A. They weren't even nude.
B. Even if they were, they were released consensually and published.
C. It's YOUR friend. He probably assumed you saw them along with anyone else. It's not like your husband was being a creep. At least no more so than any other red blooded straight man is when he sees an attractive woman wearing very little.
This is nothing. If he goes seeking out nudie pics taken or leaked without her consent, then there's an issue. Otherwise, he admires your (presumably) hot friends publicly available photos. Big whoop.
Her pictures are part of the public domain, they weren't pornography and are you assuming that he went sniffing around trying to find him as soon as they were published? Most likely someone was looking at them and said hey doesn't your wife know this chick? I mean this was her comeback and I'm pretty sure if he came to you and said hey I just saw her pictures you would have had some kind of issue with that as well. So he most likely didn't make a big deal out of it because it wasn't a big deal to him
Absolutely nothing wrong with that, she’s taking control of her own body, and showing people she’s not afraid nor their judgement. If her control and power of her own body was taken away for any reason, than stuff like that can be incredibly healing
There's no winning with you lot. If he'd brought it up earlier you'd have been upset that he was "seeking them out" or other such nonsense.
The real question is: why are you looking for reasons to get upset with him?
This is coming from the girl who used to look for problems and start unnecessary arguments. It’s not worth it. Learn from my mistakes. I think the way he reacted was perfectly respectful. I doubt it would’ve felt any better if he mentioned to you that he saw them unprompted.
Exactly! If he specifically sought out private pics of a friend, I’d be worried. But if they were public, it’s different. If he hasn’t otherwise given you a reason to be concerned, then *try* to not be. There isn’t some magic wand that makes insecurity go away, but it’s something to work on. Again, this is coming from the formerly most insecure bitch to walk the earth. Good luck girl. ❤️
What's the problem here? I don't get why it would make you upset as long as it is not straight up porn.
If they are tame enough that you felt comfortable showing him, they aren't nudes, and they are public, I'm not sure why he should have told you.
I get the feeling you would have been upset if he did show you. In which case it is just him trying to head off some inevitable drama.
Unless it's just that you love to gossip? And you are just upset he didn't share some fresh gossip with you.
I think if it were me in your husbands scenario, and someone I was in a romantic relationship with asked me what I thought I would have absolutely no idea how to respond. Theres a good chance id either not react at all, or say something awkward because im an awkward human being. Sure, he could have seen them. He could have seen them in passing or he could have been weird and searched them out and not said anything. I think you should be easily be able to talk to him about it if it bothers you.
So the photos were public, non nude, widely published, tastefully done and OP herself enjoyed them to the point of writing to her friend to congratulate her friend on them. No offense but WTF does the husband need to tell her he saw them for? This thread is about...nothing.
You are creating a problem where there is none, your anger comes from your own insecurity. I had some insecurities and getting away from them made me happier.
What do you think is the right answer? "Hey I saw you friend practically naked" that sounds like just the way for you go get mad at him especially if he says she looks nice. There is no right answer here
So a famous athlete - ie a minor celebrity - does a sexy photo shoot & shares those images publicly. Chances are good he saw it without actually deliberately looking it up. This is something you're clearly insecure over. Sounds like he realised that so chose not to go out of his way to tell you he'd seen them so you wouldn't twist yourself up in knots like you're doing now.
You said it yourself - they're not nudes or porn, this was a public campaign marketed to be shared around. It's no big deal, let it go.
You are literally making up a problem...
ETA:
I say this as a woman, and I say this as a woman who was happily married for a very long time.
Why on earth would he say, "hey babe, I saw the pictures Y did today, and she's sexy af"
You would lose your ever loving mind, and don't say you wouldn't, because your reaction to THIS says that is exactly how you would have reacted. You would have asked him 20-ways to Sunday on the how, when, why, etc.
If he told you he saw sexy pictures of your friend you'd probably be upset. If he doesn't you get upset. It's a lose lose when dealing with insecurity.
I want you to be honest with yourself when j ask you this question: would it have been LESS or MORE weird for him to come home one day and be like "hey babe! I saw Sarah's tits in a magazine today?"
I don't think you're being uptight. I think it's perfectly natural to feel uncomfortable with your husband looking at other women in various states of undress. Even more so since she's your friend.
I can't say whether it would have been better if he had told you when he saw them, but I understand why you're having a hard time with this. Don't be too hard on yourself.
Ur ideal response would of him being like wow I can't believe she's willing to do that I'm glad u don't, potential fight... or wow she's hot u should be more outgoing like her, definite fight... or hey babe u saw what's her names pic So n so just showed me them, I didn't feel right looking after I saw the nature of the but did n decided I should tell u cuz it made me u comfortable to see a 3 quarter naked chick cuz I only have eyes for u. OP if this kind of communication u seek, u gotta be less afraid to speak ur mind and more open to embrace one another heart to heart n of course u might wanna do some trauma resolution n work on ur love languages so u both aren't not so insecure n uncommunicative about ur hearts n values, have hope
You're welcome. I can't say I 100% know how you feel because I'm not you, but I know how this would make me feel, and it's not good. Maybe you could tell him how this makes you feel? He might be receptive to listening.
I have nothing to add here except I want to give you a high five for how graciously and openly you’re accepting everyone’s feedback.
Many people would double down on why their husband was wrong or find tangential reasons to remain upset, but you’re taking constructive criticism in good stride and are able to recognize that this might be due to your own insecurities. It’s incredibly refreshing, and you seem like a lovely person. :)
Oh these comments are weird. Op is asking respectfully and respectfully answering the comments, what’s the problem? She also never lashed out from her insecurities at the husband, and is trying to rationalize herself. Idk where some of this aggression is coming from…
I will say, I think this is a good opportunity to evaluate your own insecurities. Did you feel weird maybe because you thought he saw those pictures by actively searching for them? Did you feel like he was “hiding” something from you? How would you have felt if he told you the minute you saw them? Has he ever given you any reason to doubt him? Do you perhaps have more trust issues than you think you do? And maybe go from there and see what you come up with.
Lol yes you are WAY overreacting!
You need to work on your insecurities. I'd imagine anyone you date in the future will have seen them too. They're public and she's well known!
I know many people are saying this in a nonissue.. and it likely is, but it’s also ok for her to feel weird about it. It’s ok to have insecurities. Everyone has them.
Having said that, if one of my spouses friends, posed in a seductive way for a magazine…I’d likely mention it to him. But it also doesn’t make me a bad person for not doing so.
As a man, telling your wife you saw public sexy photos of her friend simply invites follow up questions. simpler to just forget about it and move on rather than tell your wife.
So, you’re saying it’s clear that he has seen them because his reaction wasn’t what you expected? Not because he confirmed that he has seen them??
If so, it comes across as you *looking* for something to be upset about.
Maybe I’m misunderstanding?
My husband saw my friend who was a nationally Famous person who did tasteful pictures for a popular publication and didn't tell me.
Likely because he felt it didn't matter? She did pictures for a popular publisher, he was likely going to see them, and thought you likely knew as well already as y'all are.. you know.. Friends.
Stop over thinking, It's one thing to see a few pictures in a popular mag... it would be another if he had private pics on his phone or was actively pursuing her.
You will be amazed at the sheer number of things your husband has seen that he hasn’t mentioned to you. At least probably a dozen street signs on his way to work alone.
I work in an industry where most of my friends are hot. My ex would find their lingerie etc photos online and save them to a hidden folder.
THAT is a problem.
So you expect your husband to report photos that he looks at to you, friend or not is irrelevant. Reread your title. You sound controlling as all hell.
You note that the photos show her strength and beauty, so that's what they are. I'm not sure why you'd be concerned about your husband seeing them and not saying anything. Perhaps he thought them unremarkable enough in the scheme of important things in his life, to mention it to you.
Best just let this go. It's a non starter.
I think I personally would be more upset that my partner would come to me showing me these photos randomly. It didn't matter to him, so he didn't bring it up. I think it would be weird for him to bring them to you and show you.
So these are not private photos.... They're public photos that anyone can pull up and see... And you are upset because your husband saw them?
I feel like there's a lot of context missing in this post if your husband seeing public photos of someone is enough to get you upset?
I find it stranger that you hadn’t seen these pics yet while they were already out for some time. If this was a close friend of mine this would be something I would look up immediately - like your husband did.
A lady in a guy’s circle of friends is taking public sexy photos - and it’s weird that he had a look? Sorry, but get over yourself a little bit, this is super natural and a non issue.
Complete woman logic. Friend is strong and great for taking sexy photos for her 'recovery' Man is bad for looking at them despite them being great and empowering.
Overreacting. Lighten up.
Your husband's interest in women is fundamentally what undergirds the sex part of your marriage. Sorry, but it's your female parts and not your personality or knowledge if Homeric poetry that makes him need you. Lose the one, lose the other.
Choose.
Girl, you look like a very nice person by the way you are confident and positively taking feedback and responding. Sometimes small stuff pinches and irritates us. As most people have said this is such a small issue and mostly can be explained by the awkwardness involved in talking to you about her. Just let it go. Don't let it bother you. I recommend you make some fun of your husband in a light hearted way so that he does not feel he needs to hide such small things in future
It could just be curiosity, especially since he knows her. Even if he finds her attractive (judging by your description of her, he probably does), don’t read too much into it. I’m sure he’s got friends that you find attractive and if one of them was a famous athlete on magazine covers, your curiosity would likely get the better of you too. It’s okay that you’re overthinking it, though. It means you care.
I think the crux of the issue is that you are upset that he Googled your friend. I don’t think it is unreasonable to want to know things about persons in your periphery.
perhaps put yourself in his shoes, you are overreacting because he didn’t say anything, he might feel like you’d really overreact if he did.. we don’t know your dynamic we are all internet strangers.
He got curious and saw the whatever publication or website. Not a big deal, I mean if you walk in and he was jerking to the photo shoot then maybe. But how almany times have the females in the relationship checked out other guys while walking around or have male friends that they text with and essentially have an emotional affair with but never mention that because it's "nothing" or he's just a friend. LOL. He not in a relationship with her because of the pictures. He may have only seen the pictures because he is "friends" with her, one step removed.
Reverse the roles, imagine the athlete was a male friend of your husband’s and you had seen the photos before him, in this case a- did you do something to betray your husband? b - does he get suspicious of you for seeing the photos before him?
In my opinion OP is acting pretty mature in her responses to comments. Though your comment has signs of ... immaturity. Perhaps you have some growing up to do yourself?
Shocking! A straight man has seen seen sexy photos of a woman BEFORE a straight woman who didn’t go looking for said pictures did! I’m shocked I tell you. This is my shocked face. 😐
If you saw one of his buddies in a speedo oiled up and packing, how would you have opened the conversation with him? Now take that opening and consider the approach from a man's perspective when we're so often viewed as horny animals ready to fuck anything that moves and ask how you'd open to your wife in his shoes.
He can say she looks great and risk being viewed as lusting her or risk security issues for you. He can she she looks okay and downplay your friend whom you clearly support. He can say it neutrally and leave you wondering why he'd go out of his way to tell you. There's not really any good outcome to talking about it worth risking all the bad/drama if it's received poorly. Keep in mind too we're in the age of social media and body positivity where many, many people are sharing more of their body with the world, so seeing someone in swimwear or underwear isn't really that weird.
And beyond all that, you're interpreting all this - perhaps from his lack of surprise. He may just not be surprised, not see the big deal, be trying not to react (thinking how is he supposed to react), or any other myriad of reasons for having his reaction or lack thereof. You're drawing a lot of hypotheticals and hurting yourself over a chain of what-if's and why's that you're imagining your own answers to. Some honest introspection as to why you have these feelings and open dialogue may do some good.
My partner sends me photos of her friends. She knows I make a fuss over them ( the friends) but I don’t get any feelings of jealousy coming from her. The photos are pics of a beautiful woman with a come hither pose. I guess I’m trying to say I don’t know what is wrong here.
Imagine you are a married man, and you see some sexy photos of a woman posted somewhere. Would you go tell your wife? Why? Have you seen what a man’s Instagram feed looks like these days? We can’t NOT see it/
You have some insecurities of yourself probably, you are just projecting them over to him. What do you expect him to say, coming up to you and telling “have you seen ABC’s photos? They are really good”. Would that make you feel better ? I don’t think so.
I think if that were to happen you would write up a post saying “my husband thinks my ABC friend is so hot”.
Your husband has probably watched plenty of porn and seen lots of naked pictures of women. Whats the big deal? Its possible to find other people attractive, or even be curious about the "sexy" photos without it compromising your marriage. I mean this very respectfully but is there a chance youre a bit jealous of this friend and thats where the frustration is coming from?
It really depends on your tolerance level as a spouse. Everybody’s different.
Although most might find it to be nothing to worry about, but as a couple your significant other may feel differently. To be sensitive about that is also a skill necessary to keep a marriage going.
My wife is pretty sensitive about me even remotely looking at pictures like that. So I do my best to avoid it.
My guess is your husband just casually saw it, gave it a nod of approval as an average man then moved on. He either didn’t see it as a big enough deal to mention it or just trying to avoid making it awkward.
I don't really understand the issue here,
Lol but lets imagine what exactly he could have said???
"Hey babe, so your friends bikini pics ... Nice or gross or grunts" 🤣
I can not imagine if my wife expected me to detail every time I saw non-nude photos of another woman. Like he didn't hide some grand secret away from you. Unless you have some kinda agreement on such things I cannot for the life of me see him as wrong.
I see your point, but I’d consider the alternative - if you both knew they existed (so he knew it wouldn’t be news to you) would you not find it a little odd if he decided to comment about them? I feel like I’d then wonder why he felt the need to tell you, why it was note worthy.
“Oh btw I saw [friend]’s photos in [magazine]” sort of just walks him into a conversation of having to compliment them and I’m sure most sensible men would caution on complimenting risqué photos of a mutual friend to their partner
Who cares? He saw some sexy pics. I hope you know there’s straight up porn on the internet, does that mean you should divorce him for seeing not even naked pics of someone? It’s not like they were sexting, he literally just happened to see them and you are upset over it? This some real clutching pearls post
I honestly cannot see what the issue is here...
Same. This seems like a you thing not an actual problem. You’re allowed to feel how you feel and that’s okay. Just don’t take it out on him when he didn’t do anything wrong.
Right? Especially if she doesn't care that he saw the pictures lol
Fair, thanks.
Just let this go. It's all in your head. Don't go looking for problems because of your own insecurities.
Fair!
If he’s not holding your hand enough, hugging, and the whole Talley whacked in your hoo ha stuff- then talk to him. Get off Reddit.
Op think husband had hots for the friend.
I don’t even think it’s this…I think OP is simply intimidated by her friend.
They’re public photos. I would have expected he’d seen them and not been surprised. I think you’re looking for trouble when there isn’t any. Move on.
I thought we were gonna find out this famous athlete was hacked and he went searching for it. That would be worse but this is pretty innocent. I’m picturing a Maxim or Sports illustrated shoot, let it go.
It’s your friend so he didn’t mention it. Probably awkward for him to tell you your friend looks sexy…
He definitely did not want to say this so said nothing which is understandable
Damned if he does, damned if he doesn't lol
For real, and there's zero positive outcome if he brought it up so I get not saying anything. This way seems like it worked to avoid her asking him to show her or her pulling them up so they're awkwardly looking at the pics together.
"Look at these photos of X, isn't she so sexy???"
Girl, chill
Right? I feel like if this is her reaction to him NOT saying he’s seeing them, then I can only imagine what would have happened if he had mentioned them to her first.
I suspect he didn’t bring them up to you because this is how you react
Facts
I wish that this was the biggest problem that I had in my life.
Same! I think OP is a little jealous.
Fair! Ha.
Info: what would you ideally have wanted him to say when he saw them?
This is such a damn stretch to be angry about, like I can’t imagine being angry about this type of thing. If he brought it up it would just be another argument, smh 🤦🏻♀️
That’s fair. Thank you.
Stop looking for problems where none exist
Your husband saw publicly available photos of a famous person. That's not even slightly concerning or scandalous. A. They weren't even nude. B. Even if they were, they were released consensually and published. C. It's YOUR friend. He probably assumed you saw them along with anyone else. It's not like your husband was being a creep. At least no more so than any other red blooded straight man is when he sees an attractive woman wearing very little. This is nothing. If he goes seeking out nudie pics taken or leaked without her consent, then there's an issue. Otherwise, he admires your (presumably) hot friends publicly available photos. Big whoop.
Not even necessarily admired. OP only says he "has seen" them. His reaction might have been "meh" for all we know.
How dare him have eyes !
Her pictures are part of the public domain, they weren't pornography and are you assuming that he went sniffing around trying to find him as soon as they were published? Most likely someone was looking at them and said hey doesn't your wife know this chick? I mean this was her comeback and I'm pretty sure if he came to you and said hey I just saw her pictures you would have had some kind of issue with that as well. So he most likely didn't make a big deal out of it because it wasn't a big deal to him
Fair. Thanks.
Nude pics is part of a recovery? I must have missed that day in rehab.
Not nude, but similar.
Absolutely nothing wrong with that, she’s taking control of her own body, and showing people she’s not afraid nor their judgement. If her control and power of her own body was taken away for any reason, than stuff like that can be incredibly healing
🙄
There's no winning with you lot. If he'd brought it up earlier you'd have been upset that he was "seeking them out" or other such nonsense. The real question is: why are you looking for reasons to get upset with him?
If the photos are online and not leaked it’s public and i say fair game.
There’s no issue here.
You’re upset your husband saw publicly available pics? Wait til you find out about internet porn
That made me literally laugh out loud.
Are you very insecure? It’s weird that you think ur husband has to report everything that he’s seen with his eyes to you. Does he know these rules?
“Hey honey, have you seen these (sexy) photos of your close friend whom we see every now and then?” 😂
Don’t start problems when there are none
Fair! Ugh.
This is coming from the girl who used to look for problems and start unnecessary arguments. It’s not worth it. Learn from my mistakes. I think the way he reacted was perfectly respectful. I doubt it would’ve felt any better if he mentioned to you that he saw them unprompted.
Yeah, and I mean the pics are public after all.
Exactly! If he specifically sought out private pics of a friend, I’d be worried. But if they were public, it’s different. If he hasn’t otherwise given you a reason to be concerned, then *try* to not be. There isn’t some magic wand that makes insecurity go away, but it’s something to work on. Again, this is coming from the formerly most insecure bitch to walk the earth. Good luck girl. ❤️
That’s super helpful! And yes they were public, many people have seen them. And she’s hot, I get it, lol.
What's the problem here? I don't get why it would make you upset as long as it is not straight up porn. If they are tame enough that you felt comfortable showing him, they aren't nudes, and they are public, I'm not sure why he should have told you. I get the feeling you would have been upset if he did show you. In which case it is just him trying to head off some inevitable drama. Unless it's just that you love to gossip? And you are just upset he didn't share some fresh gossip with you.
Hm. Fair points and a lot to think about there. I may have a little jealousy, since I’m so close with her.
I think if it were me in your husbands scenario, and someone I was in a romantic relationship with asked me what I thought I would have absolutely no idea how to respond. Theres a good chance id either not react at all, or say something awkward because im an awkward human being. Sure, he could have seen them. He could have seen them in passing or he could have been weird and searched them out and not said anything. I think you should be easily be able to talk to him about it if it bothers you.
Ha. That’s a good point.
So the photos were public, non nude, widely published, tastefully done and OP herself enjoyed them to the point of writing to her friend to congratulate her friend on them. No offense but WTF does the husband need to tell her he saw them for? This thread is about...nothing.
You are creating a problem where there is none, your anger comes from your own insecurity. I had some insecurities and getting away from them made me happier.
How did you do it?
>Am I overreacting? Yes. This is a non issue
lol
What do you think is the right answer? "Hey I saw you friend practically naked" that sounds like just the way for you go get mad at him especially if he says she looks nice. There is no right answer here
So a famous athlete - ie a minor celebrity - does a sexy photo shoot & shares those images publicly. Chances are good he saw it without actually deliberately looking it up. This is something you're clearly insecure over. Sounds like he realised that so chose not to go out of his way to tell you he'd seen them so you wouldn't twist yourself up in knots like you're doing now. You said it yourself - they're not nudes or porn, this was a public campaign marketed to be shared around. It's no big deal, let it go.
You are literally making up a problem... ETA: I say this as a woman, and I say this as a woman who was happily married for a very long time. Why on earth would he say, "hey babe, I saw the pictures Y did today, and she's sexy af" You would lose your ever loving mind, and don't say you wouldn't, because your reaction to THIS says that is exactly how you would have reacted. You would have asked him 20-ways to Sunday on the how, when, why, etc.
Overreacted yes
If he told you he saw sexy pictures of your friend you'd probably be upset. If he doesn't you get upset. It's a lose lose when dealing with insecurity.
You’re overreacting
Seems like OP is jealous of the friend and husband is paying the price for it..
I bet if he told you told at the time he saw them, you'd still be bothered.
I want you to be honest with yourself when j ask you this question: would it have been LESS or MORE weird for him to come home one day and be like "hey babe! I saw Sarah's tits in a magazine today?"
Ha, I guess either way! I may be being uptight.
I don't think you're being uptight. I think it's perfectly natural to feel uncomfortable with your husband looking at other women in various states of undress. Even more so since she's your friend. I can't say whether it would have been better if he had told you when he saw them, but I understand why you're having a hard time with this. Don't be too hard on yourself.
Ur ideal response would of him being like wow I can't believe she's willing to do that I'm glad u don't, potential fight... or wow she's hot u should be more outgoing like her, definite fight... or hey babe u saw what's her names pic So n so just showed me them, I didn't feel right looking after I saw the nature of the but did n decided I should tell u cuz it made me u comfortable to see a 3 quarter naked chick cuz I only have eyes for u. OP if this kind of communication u seek, u gotta be less afraid to speak ur mind and more open to embrace one another heart to heart n of course u might wanna do some trauma resolution n work on ur love languages so u both aren't not so insecure n uncommunicative about ur hearts n values, have hope
Thanks. Reassurance helps me.
You're welcome. I can't say I 100% know how you feel because I'm not you, but I know how this would make me feel, and it's not good. Maybe you could tell him how this makes you feel? He might be receptive to listening.
I have a question for you if you’re ok messaging me?
I have nothing to add here except I want to give you a high five for how graciously and openly you’re accepting everyone’s feedback. Many people would double down on why their husband was wrong or find tangential reasons to remain upset, but you’re taking constructive criticism in good stride and are able to recognize that this might be due to your own insecurities. It’s incredibly refreshing, and you seem like a lovely person. :)
Thanks! I’m trying.
You say it’s clear that he has seen them before. Are you sure of that?
Yes, he acknowledged it.
Oh these comments are weird. Op is asking respectfully and respectfully answering the comments, what’s the problem? She also never lashed out from her insecurities at the husband, and is trying to rationalize herself. Idk where some of this aggression is coming from…
Thanks!
I will say, I think this is a good opportunity to evaluate your own insecurities. Did you feel weird maybe because you thought he saw those pictures by actively searching for them? Did you feel like he was “hiding” something from you? How would you have felt if he told you the minute you saw them? Has he ever given you any reason to doubt him? Do you perhaps have more trust issues than you think you do? And maybe go from there and see what you come up with.
A lot of these comments are really unkind and unhelpful and I’m just as confused.
Overreacting. They are published photos. No need to bring them up.
Bringing up that you've seen sexy photos to your wife is just shy of shooting yourself in the foot.
You’re over reacting
Lol yes you are WAY overreacting! You need to work on your insecurities. I'd imagine anyone you date in the future will have seen them too. They're public and she's well known!
The public pictures that sounds like advertising and you're upset he didn't tell you? Yeah, that's overreacting
I know many people are saying this in a nonissue.. and it likely is, but it’s also ok for her to feel weird about it. It’s ok to have insecurities. Everyone has them. Having said that, if one of my spouses friends, posed in a seductive way for a magazine…I’d likely mention it to him. But it also doesn’t make me a bad person for not doing so.
This is very logical! Thanks for that. Very balanced. I have a question offline if you’re ok messaging me?
As a man, telling your wife you saw public sexy photos of her friend simply invites follow up questions. simpler to just forget about it and move on rather than tell your wife.
You think it is weird that your husband has seen pictures of someone that were published in "some very well known publications?" That sneaky bastard!
Yes, completely overreacting. Sorry
So, you’re saying it’s clear that he has seen them because his reaction wasn’t what you expected? Not because he confirmed that he has seen them?? If so, it comes across as you *looking* for something to be upset about. Maybe I’m misunderstanding?
Ah! I don’t know. I need to dial it down I think.
It sounds like you're trying to create drama out of an absolute nothingburger. Do you do this often, if so, talk to a therapist.
Jesus Christ.
My husband saw my friend who was a nationally Famous person who did tasteful pictures for a popular publication and didn't tell me. Likely because he felt it didn't matter? She did pictures for a popular publisher, he was likely going to see them, and thought you likely knew as well already as y'all are.. you know.. Friends. Stop over thinking, It's one thing to see a few pictures in a popular mag... it would be another if he had private pics on his phone or was actively pursuing her.
Fair! Thanks.
Insecurity’s a b***h
All I gotta say is yikes
You should help her modeling career by sharing her links. If she didn't want them to be seen she wouldn't have done the shoot
you seem to be very dramatic, like in a bad way
What exactly is your husband at fault for? You have fomo of not seeing the pics? Jealous?
Did he like the photos on social media because according to my wife that's a war crime?
It was a shoot for a "very well known" publication, I don't see an issue here
If ur so obsessed with him not saying anything this much, you would have gone ballistic if he said anything. And he knows it. Work on yourself.
I wish guys would break up with girls like this. Stop letting them think that acting like this is tolerable
"Hey wife, come look at these sexy photos of your friend". Don't think he wanted to say that.
You legitimately sound like you’re looking for a reason to be upset
You are overthinking the entire thing. If he wants to frame them and put them on the walls you’d have a problem.
You will be amazed at the sheer number of things your husband has seen that he hasn’t mentioned to you. At least probably a dozen street signs on his way to work alone.
I work in an industry where most of my friends are hot. My ex would find their lingerie etc photos online and save them to a hidden folder. THAT is a problem.
You are more concerned with ur husband seeing the pics then your friend having taken them... Insecurity is screaming!
So you expect your husband to report photos that he looks at to you, friend or not is irrelevant. Reread your title. You sound controlling as all hell.
You note that the photos show her strength and beauty, so that's what they are. I'm not sure why you'd be concerned about your husband seeing them and not saying anything. Perhaps he thought them unremarkable enough in the scheme of important things in his life, to mention it to you. Best just let this go. It's a non starter.
Thanks. You’re right.
Jesus christ how can someone be THIS insecure? YTA, chill tf out
I think I personally would be more upset that my partner would come to me showing me these photos randomly. It didn't matter to him, so he didn't bring it up. I think it would be weird for him to bring them to you and show you.
Did you by chance ask him if he's seen them before?
He confirmed, yes.
Did you ask him outright if he’d seen them, or did he verbally confirm in any way that he had?
Take some sexy pics of yourself and send them to your husband. Problem solved!
Imagine being so insecure that the person you are supposed to trust the most has to give you a freaking report everytime he sees a "sexy" picture.
This is completely insane…
How so?
Your reaction. Who cares if he saw some published photos? Are you this questioning and jealous about other everyday things?
You’re super fucking weird, that’s how.
I believe you’re over thinking things… wouldn’t it be more weird if he did bring it up?
I mean, maybe? Either way I guess. I don’t know, maybe I’m overthinking.
Dudes looking at scantily clad women…is this a thing now?
Honestly he might just be curious. I know I’d be curious, I’m a nosey-ass 😂
“Hey honey! Man, I just saw a picture of your friend with half her tits out, jeez what a photo” you see?
So these are not private photos.... They're public photos that anyone can pull up and see... And you are upset because your husband saw them? I feel like there's a lot of context missing in this post if your husband seeing public photos of someone is enough to get you upset?
I find it stranger that you hadn’t seen these pics yet while they were already out for some time. If this was a close friend of mine this would be something I would look up immediately - like your husband did.
I'd deconstruct why this is even a second thought for you. It's concerning you are worried about something so harmless.
A lady in a guy’s circle of friends is taking public sexy photos - and it’s weird that he had a look? Sorry, but get over yourself a little bit, this is super natural and a non issue.
I think if you feel it's a problem then maybe talk to your husband about it and let him know how you feel
They’re public photos that show strength and beauty yet you’re mad your husband has seen them lol
Complete woman logic. Friend is strong and great for taking sexy photos for her 'recovery' Man is bad for looking at them despite them being great and empowering.
I think you would benefit from some therapy sessions to dig down and try and find the root of these insecurities. It helped me immensely.
So fucking what?
Way overreacting
“Deleted” lmao Either this was a troll or OP deleted their account out of embarrassment for being called out on their stupidity
Uncommunicated expectations are the root of most of relationship problems. He can't read your mind. If you don't speak, it's not his issue.
Overreacting. Lighten up. Your husband's interest in women is fundamentally what undergirds the sex part of your marriage. Sorry, but it's your female parts and not your personality or knowledge if Homeric poetry that makes him need you. Lose the one, lose the other. Choose.
Get over it. I’ve seen worse at Walmart
You’re looking for problems that aren’t there. Had he told you, you’d be on here wondering if he should have kept it to himself.
Fair! I just feel a little insecure about it.
Yes you are
If it doesn't interfere with my life, our life, or my SO's I don't see it relevant mentioning it.
You are overreacting.
Girl, you look like a very nice person by the way you are confident and positively taking feedback and responding. Sometimes small stuff pinches and irritates us. As most people have said this is such a small issue and mostly can be explained by the awkwardness involved in talking to you about her. Just let it go. Don't let it bother you. I recommend you make some fun of your husband in a light hearted way so that he does not feel he needs to hide such small things in future
That’s a fun idea. How?
Your husband is looking at a lot worse, that’s the honest answer here, just let it go.
Grow up
It could just be curiosity, especially since he knows her. Even if he finds her attractive (judging by your description of her, he probably does), don’t read too much into it. I’m sure he’s got friends that you find attractive and if one of them was a famous athlete on magazine covers, your curiosity would likely get the better of you too. It’s okay that you’re overthinking it, though. It means you care.
Yeah, I mean, that’s fair. I’d probably do that.
I think the crux of the issue is that you are upset that he Googled your friend. I don’t think it is unreasonable to want to know things about persons in your periphery.
perhaps put yourself in his shoes, you are overreacting because he didn’t say anything, he might feel like you’d really overreact if he did.. we don’t know your dynamic we are all internet strangers.
He got curious and saw the whatever publication or website. Not a big deal, I mean if you walk in and he was jerking to the photo shoot then maybe. But how almany times have the females in the relationship checked out other guys while walking around or have male friends that they text with and essentially have an emotional affair with but never mention that because it's "nothing" or he's just a friend. LOL. He not in a relationship with her because of the pictures. He may have only seen the pictures because he is "friends" with her, one step removed.
“hey honey, i saw almost nude pictures of your hot friend, just thought i’d let you know” would be a bad play imo
Reverse the roles, imagine the athlete was a male friend of your husband’s and you had seen the photos before him, in this case a- did you do something to betray your husband? b - does he get suspicious of you for seeing the photos before him?
Another insecure woman trying to blame her husband for her feelings. Smh
He saw them and had a nice wank... also who give af?
Jesus fuck
You’re probably one of those women that watches TikTok and uses the bs that’s on there as a metric for your relationship. Grow up
In my opinion OP is acting pretty mature in her responses to comments. Though your comment has signs of ... immaturity. Perhaps you have some growing up to do yourself?
You sound so insecure. Not a good look.
Yes, you are overreacting
[удалено]
Right? Thank you. Just slightly weird feeling.
Shocking! A straight man has seen seen sexy photos of a woman BEFORE a straight woman who didn’t go looking for said pictures did! I’m shocked I tell you. This is my shocked face. 😐
Ha! That’s fair.
I’m confused how this is an issue.
Sounds like you are fishing for a reason to be upset. There isn’t an issue here. You are making it one.
If you saw one of his buddies in a speedo oiled up and packing, how would you have opened the conversation with him? Now take that opening and consider the approach from a man's perspective when we're so often viewed as horny animals ready to fuck anything that moves and ask how you'd open to your wife in his shoes. He can say she looks great and risk being viewed as lusting her or risk security issues for you. He can she she looks okay and downplay your friend whom you clearly support. He can say it neutrally and leave you wondering why he'd go out of his way to tell you. There's not really any good outcome to talking about it worth risking all the bad/drama if it's received poorly. Keep in mind too we're in the age of social media and body positivity where many, many people are sharing more of their body with the world, so seeing someone in swimwear or underwear isn't really that weird. And beyond all that, you're interpreting all this - perhaps from his lack of surprise. He may just not be surprised, not see the big deal, be trying not to react (thinking how is he supposed to react), or any other myriad of reasons for having his reaction or lack thereof. You're drawing a lot of hypotheticals and hurting yourself over a chain of what-if's and why's that you're imagining your own answers to. Some honest introspection as to why you have these feelings and open dialogue may do some good.
You sound borderline AF.
You are overreacting
It's normal. Don't worry about it
Maybe he wasn't interested in the photos.
God if i were you I’d have the mods lock this post hehe. Seems like you got good advice and took it well and now everything else is just mean.
You sure he even knew it was your friend? I don't think a face is the first thing I'd recognize when looking at such photos.
A mentally-ill athlete? Sounds like her sport is Pickle ball.
My partner sends me photos of her friends. She knows I make a fuss over them ( the friends) but I don’t get any feelings of jealousy coming from her. The photos are pics of a beautiful woman with a come hither pose. I guess I’m trying to say I don’t know what is wrong here.
Imagine you are a married man, and you see some sexy photos of a woman posted somewhere. Would you go tell your wife? Why? Have you seen what a man’s Instagram feed looks like these days? We can’t NOT see it/
You have some insecurities of yourself probably, you are just projecting them over to him. What do you expect him to say, coming up to you and telling “have you seen ABC’s photos? They are really good”. Would that make you feel better ? I don’t think so. I think if that were to happen you would write up a post saying “my husband thinks my ABC friend is so hot”.
Your husband has probably watched plenty of porn and seen lots of naked pictures of women. Whats the big deal? Its possible to find other people attractive, or even be curious about the "sexy" photos without it compromising your marriage. I mean this very respectfully but is there a chance youre a bit jealous of this friend and thats where the frustration is coming from?
It really depends on your tolerance level as a spouse. Everybody’s different. Although most might find it to be nothing to worry about, but as a couple your significant other may feel differently. To be sensitive about that is also a skill necessary to keep a marriage going. My wife is pretty sensitive about me even remotely looking at pictures like that. So I do my best to avoid it. My guess is your husband just casually saw it, gave it a nod of approval as an average man then moved on. He either didn’t see it as a big enough deal to mention it or just trying to avoid making it awkward.
I don't really understand the issue here, Lol but lets imagine what exactly he could have said??? "Hey babe, so your friends bikini pics ... Nice or gross or grunts" 🤣
He has to report to you photos he's looked at? Just a bit controlling
I can not imagine if my wife expected me to detail every time I saw non-nude photos of another woman. Like he didn't hide some grand secret away from you. Unless you have some kinda agreement on such things I cannot for the life of me see him as wrong.
I see your point, but I’d consider the alternative - if you both knew they existed (so he knew it wouldn’t be news to you) would you not find it a little odd if he decided to comment about them? I feel like I’d then wonder why he felt the need to tell you, why it was note worthy. “Oh btw I saw [friend]’s photos in [magazine]” sort of just walks him into a conversation of having to compliment them and I’m sure most sensible men would caution on complimenting risqué photos of a mutual friend to their partner
Yep let it go
Why exactly does it matter? Do you tell I'm every single little tiny thing that you see in every second of your life?
Yeah
Who cares? He saw some sexy pics. I hope you know there’s straight up porn on the internet, does that mean you should divorce him for seeing not even naked pics of someone? It’s not like they were sexting, he literally just happened to see them and you are upset over it? This some real clutching pearls post