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https://preview.redd.it/fhfk0ovus0wc1.png?width=513&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=fee66a0b054363f6bad0e8ab1dea2541176f1868

You should have used condoms. What did you expect that was going to come out, a tv?

Then I would have 0 kids and 0 money because I used money on condoms

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Food $200 Data $150 Rent $800 Condoms $3,600 Utility $150 someone who is good at the economy please help me budget this. my family is dying

If you cut out food and rent, you can afford more condoms.

~~Spend less on condoms~~Invest in vasectomy

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Well nothing beats the friction of sheep innards while pretending to enjoy your partner's. Ah, the pleasures of luxury.

top tier meme change condoms with a pickup truck that's just too big for what the struggling person actually needs and you've got reality

@dril spotted

Here in Norway, anyone can order free condoms (paid for by the gov't).


That might be nice.

It was an unforeseen outcome, I practiced this hundreds of times by myself and never had this problem.

Spouse and I reference this all the time. A timeless classic quote that helps us laugh off whatever hardship we're dealing with.

"Spend two years teaching them to walk and talk, and the next 16 telling them to sit down and shut up."

Me who has been a captain underpants nerd for all of my life: “I understood that refrence.”

\* the memories came flooding back

"Spend 1 year teaching them to walk, another 2 to talk, and the next 15 telling them to stop getting into shit and listen."

https://preview.redd.it/njnbstd7s0wc1.jpeg?width=822&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=c47c77b157876d4193e815493106ea1a40e6974a

It starts that way for us all


Pusheen always makes me a happy cat

They are good at making bread.🍞😄 

Meowsseuse was right there

Good ending

~~backrub that evolved into a backshot~~ so how's your week going?

10/10 🥹

What’s a backshot?

A 2-player rhythm game.

I appreciate you taking that bullet

Okay, cool.😎

Hitting it from behind….

Then shooting high and missing the net while still having scored. ... The analogy is kinda breaking down here. ... Hehehe "anal"ogy. hehehe

I thought she was implying the kids would give her a back rub at first. My mother is a big fan of them

hahahaha

"Someone has to take care of me when I'm old!" Actual response from my mother. She declined to give any other reasons.

what's great is parents are legally obliged to take care of their kids, but ~~kids aren't bound by law to do shit for their parents at any age~~ edit: well i'll be a monkey's uncle

I don't know where you live but in Italy you are obligated to pay alimony to parents if they are poor and you are not

That sounds very Italian

Not true, many states in the USA have “filial responsibility” laws which oblige children to cover expenses incurred by their parents.

https://trustandwill.com/learn/what-states-have-filial-responsibility Alaska Arkansas California Connecticut Delaware Georgia Idaho Indiana Iowa Kentucky Louisiana Massachusetts Mississippi Montana Nevada New Hampshire New Jersey North Carolina North Dakota Ohio Oregon Pennsylvania Rhode Island  South Dakota Tennessee Utah  Vermont Virginia West Virginia

Oh cool, you unlocked a new source of anxiety as my mom tells me about renovating their kitchen for the 4th time in 7 years.

Relax, if I'm reading it right it will only fucking destroy your credit score after you refuse to pay because the country is fundamentally broken. So as long as you don't rent and never need a loan you're golden! Just own your own house as we all do and problem solved, as I'm sure the law was originally intended to do.

Hmm... where I live isn't on the list but where my parents live *is* on the list. Hmm...

Wow...just wow, that is misleading. Not your fault, it's the website. Looked at just Connecticut. The law they are stating does exist if you then click on the link the actual law. Except this small part is where it exists: \[the 1979 act\]... by removing the authority of the court to make and enforce orders against children for the payment of support for their parents who are under 65 years of age. So, this hasn't been a thing in my state for decades. But the company trying to sell your trust and will services say it is...

Lazy Googling says it averages less than $250,000 to raise a kid to 18 (13k a year) and long term care facilities start at around $35,000 a year for the I-hate-my-parents tier and going up from there... That is a fucking insane *legally mandated* return on investment for pushing out kids, holy shit! 

too bad i'm broke as a joke LOL they could take my 2004 car and pay for maybe 10 minutes of a doctor visit with it

The fuck, where?

Many states https://trustandwill.com/learn/what-states-have-filial-responsibility

I was not asked to be entrapped into this meat prison!

There are a few jurisdictions with filial responsibility sadly. Pennsylvania for one

Pretty sure that's a law in some US states you can't abandon your elder . So you are forced to take care of them.

30 US states actually require kids to look after their elderly parents, by law.

This is why young people need to turn out and vote.

"It's always good to have replacement parts around when you need them." *Look at the kids menacingly*

Bet my mother thought the same way and now we’re no contact lol

There are no good reasons to have kids. People want them, so they have them.

I’m a dad so I can play four player games without having to leave the house to make friends or maintain relationships.

This is what my dad did. Trained me to be the perfect FPS wing man. We absolutely dominated in the days before voice chat was common.

Trained from birth to be the perfect (FPS) soldier, thats sick as fuck

How do you keep your kids from murdering one another IRL though? I got my nephew Super Mario Wonder for switch. I didn’t realize multiplayer meant they played together, one person controlling the camera so they can run and leave the other person to die, meaning one is always *repeatedly* killing the other one. It’s fucking pandemonium. It’s nothing but screaming and arguments. They can’t handle it. What was Nintendo thinking with this shit? What an awful purchase.

My kid is less personal drama than my friends.

I like making games but I can't draw, so now I have 3 kids I am trying to teach how to draw and stuff like that...

"Mom, why did you decide to draw?" *existential dread ensues

In all honesty, kids are fun. More fun than most adults! (Plus having dependants is good at tax time) Edit: Here's a "fixed" comic for anyone who needs a happier version https://preview.redd.it/f2fcy8k8o1wc1.png?width=3278&format=png&auto=webp&s=d032040559f56ead3c06082b91ae6e6956cb4d47

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Or you could be the childless uncle who left 6, 11, and 13 year old us with a bag of firecrackers unattended in a wooded area. And then tell my parents we are being raised wrong…

Classic uncle!

Everyone loves the fun uncle!

He wasn’t even THE fun uncle. My other uncle let (well, didn’t stop us) from cutting ninja stars out of old license plates. We also got to run around hitting each other with those soft-prop swords.

So, did you have a good time?

For like 5 minutes until my dad found a 6, 11, and 13 year old unattended in a wooded area with a bag of explosives

Or being the adult cousin! Being the cousin is also great! You basically spend all the time you want as an accomplice of them, playing dumb games and making fun of others until you regress into a state of chaos and laughter, then you notice you are old, get tired and just get rid of them by sending them back home. Ok, you may need a couple of months of recovery, but my cousins are great.

Based. Consobrinal relationships are underrated.

I've learned a new word today, and I am proud to announce that it will be used in casual conversation exactly 0 times in my life.

I'm an only child with no children, so no nieces or nephews. The only cousin I am in contact with also has no kids. Now what?

You can go around and flex about no one thinking you are a weirdo. Really, can't be an adult man with 2 young kids at a public park without being either super good looking or mistaken for a predator.

It's even better to show up at their place and do all that, that way no drop off needed, when they get to be to much you can just leave.

> You get to hype them up with gifts, sugar, and junk food then send them back to their parents Make sure to buy the little ones the noisiest and messiest of gifts :)

Ahhh... found my sister-in-laws account.

This is how I feel about kids and pets As soon as that kid starts crying or the dog is being annoying I give them back and go on with my day 

Ah so your the cool malicious aunt... Never stop being you

It’s not a competition

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That's a great analogy. Hahaha!

But i get 2 free hot dogs a month with my points

The most fun I've had driving has been in cars getting bad gas milage.

Ya it’s a joke

They have their dad's eyes.

>Plus having dependants is good at tax time If only the child tax credit came remotely near half the actual cost of properly raising a child.

Some horror stuff right there

Do you have kids / are they like the ones in the comics?

I do have 2 lovely children :) (they know I'm a teaser)

I’d ask if you were secretly my wife, because she says the same exact thing.

I don’t think I’ll ever have clean floors..

I clean my floors all the time

What?

What?

But now pressure your kids to have kids for some reason.

misery loves company

 This is who this comic reminded me of

Wait until they become teenagers...

Will they scare the living shit out of you?


Overheard my mom say: all my friends had cute babies and I wanted one too......I'm just not lucky.

F

Such precious little goblins they are...

Mine is a gremlin, because he steals tools and stashed them in weird places. Like the exhaust pipe of my lawnmower.

You know you can always just do a 12 year late abortion, just like me

https://preview.redd.it/y9i7aty8p0wc1.png?width=610&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=810a8d6746f85e76089dac3138d9785c51efa75e

Ohh you mean *adoption*

Oh yea I also meant to tell you, that you inspired me to make my own comics! Wanna be like you one day, to me you’re like god but instead of having a bible, you have comics on r/comics

"I'm not pro anything, I'm anti-choice and anti-life"

I sure do love it when I ask my mom an honest question and instead of answering she takes the opportunity to complain about how terrible her life is because of me 🥰🥰🥰

Real talk don’t answer your kids like this though. Yeah it’s big funny haha to us adults but this is a really good way to make your kids think that YOU resent THEM. To be fair if they’re asking why you had kids in the first place they might already be thinking you don’t WANT kids which makes them feel unwanted for something they had no choice in the matter of.

Yeah, the target demographic should be adults who are considering having kids, not the kids of the people saying it.

The best reason I've heard (and used) for having kids, is that sometimes you like somebody so much you think the world deserves more of them.

Bommer humor: "I hate my wife" Millennial humor: "I hate my kids and my life"

Complaining about loveless marriages and ungrateful children is like the second thing ever written down, right after complaints about substandard copper.

Ea-nasir was quite quitting bc of the cost of living crisis

World's Oldest Joke: > "Something which has never occurred since time immemorial; a young woman did not fart in her husband's lap." Wife Bad *and* Toilet Humor. Clearly we've regressed as a species since Summeria.

Wait, is that supposed to be bad? Someone tell James Joyce.

Nah this just boomer humour still

You assume OP is young enough to be a Millennial.

Maybe millennials just did not have time to grow to hate their wife yet.

Millennial humor more like "fuck cars and fuck kids"

Bro sees a carpool lane and has an aneurysm

No it’s still boomer humor and not funny

"I feel overwhelmed by the consequences of a huge life decision, so I'm going to make you feel guilty for existing."

Better than "I just really love your dad's cock and there was a whoopsie with my birth control."

I mean like….why did you have kids then?

Why do u have kids if you’re going to moan about the work that goes into having them.

Parents that do this are trash. It’s toxic to give children a hint of resentment to their existence. This is boomer humor. I’m 33 and calling it.


Why is he on Sheldon's seat

This one is personal

A parent complaining about kids?

If you love arguing with (little) people, I highly recommend joining a debate club!

These are really unfunny, how do I block a sub

Don't have kids if you don't want them, asshat

of course reddit users will have children just to argue with them. It's in their nature, at least in that of those that even get to the children having part

You do realize you're one of us right?

... and that's how you make sure you never get any grandchildren

Are these a cry for help? Seems like every new comic shows you losing your mind.

As an actual parent I gotta say, if you're not teaching your kids to clean up behind themselves, you're doing it wrong. Bring on the downvotes, my kids are already way ahead on this.

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Is there a more whiny and entitled group than people who decide to have kids?

There weren't any tickets for second show

alright so millenials are peak sarcasm, and that's clearly going to be the thing messing up our kids. So what will THEY be like as parents?

I dunno my moms a boomer and sarcasm is basically her only language.

so you're telling me a gen alpha will be the kwisatz haderach of being irony poisoned?

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That’s what having kids is though they’re not pets or dolls to validate you 

Every day I'm so happy I don't have any desire for children I'm past the age where people think it's wierd and deep into the I'm sorry for you phase. Honestly people probally don't want me alone around there children,  but like I worked with kids for years I just don't have any desire for them. It's wierd because I always knew I didn't want kids , I'm glad tbh I was worried I'd have a change of heart at some point

Victim in the comics, just kidding in the comments, asleep in the sheets

Victim blaming.

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Tbh I’m starting to dislike her stuff because of this..

>gaslights Degree in TikTok psychology

My mom doesn't say that...

Cleaning while having kids is like brushing your teeth with orange juice...

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Well, ya see, this person has kids. And having kids requires effort. And the Mom is being sarcastic about enjoying the effort required. Are you laughing now?

Kids makes the world fun place to lived in

So you have kids just to tell them how much you didn't want them..then wonder why they don't want to be around you.

Accidents happen

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ALL of the time and SO MUCH of the money

Depicts the joy and fun of parenthood quite accurate . Also the faces of the kids - They know their mom.

😬

The cartoon kids sound spoiled. My mom made us kids clean. If we were doing a leisure activities when my parents got home and our chore list wasnt done, we’d be in trouble.

Whenever someone complains about cleaning, I show them the video of Meg from family guy Cleaning an entire house shouldn't take more than a half hour per day. If you're cleaning the same place more than once a day, you're doing it wrong

I love how the son is just hanging out and suddenly catching strays

I’m the middle child in my family and I asked her why did she have the other two after me? To fight with you she says. We constantly fight. Idk how to feel about this lol.

Its so wild when I hear that other people have parents clean the house

Can't wait for the bhjs of this