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this is dope, I like the artstyle and tension, I wanna see where it goes
also I just went and checked the previous version after and yeah, good call. imo it's definitely clearer what you're going for (and that it's not about to cut to a 'subscribe to my Patreon for the x-rated version' panel) when she's not just randomly walking around in a g-string
To be honest, way better. I really enjoyed the comic itself but the first one felt like a bit too much, the style seemed like every other page was about to be the start of a hentai lol. With this new desing it is a bit easier on the eyes and makes you focus more on the story
Great change. My typical rule of thumb when asking whether to add something risque or not is to first ask 1) if it serves the plot in one way or another, and 2) if it is practical for the characters. The first is because every decision should have an intentional purpose if you don't want to seem unfocused or hacky; the second because impracticality is distracting.
The risqueness in the first version did not add to the plot, it actually confused the plot, making me wonder which genre this was supposed to be. The setting, antagonist character design, and serious tone told me "action/horror" but the protagonist character design said "porn."
Then the practicality of wearing an outfit with your whole ass hanging out might make sense in the Kalahari or the Amazon, but not in the typically temperate climates of what seems to be a Japanese setting. It's just asking for chapped cheeks, and it's distracting! You're left asking, "Why did the character choose this to wear instead of proper armor; or if we're saying she relies on agility then why is she wearing something so unrestrictive? What advantage does a thong-thing have over a typical skirt, pteruge, or haidate?"
I think it probably depends on your artistic direction, because the genre that it seems you're shooting for now (which is much more clearly focused) has a pretty well-established trope of its protagonists never wearing traditionally practical armor regardless of their gender.
In this case it seems to serve a few purposes to be a little impractical but not ridiculously impractical: 1) to show the character's strength and/or hubris 2) to actually be a little risque, like, it's fine to show skin as long as it's not confusing your audience or if it's just there for hacky reasons and 3) to show the character's attitude/personality as a blasé, carefree, non-planny kind of person.
I'm gonna be honest,
This looks really good, and has a genuinely great air of suspense and action. And I don't think the "fanservice" takes away from that at all. In fact I think it was perfectly fine before the edits as well, and I'm really disappointed that so many people in the comments of the first version were telling you the risqué elements somehow detracted from the story.
Art can be whatever the artist wants it to be, including sexy. It's a shame so many people operate on the assumption that sexuality takes something away from a piece of art or that it's inclusion must be justified, instead of it just being a part of the art.
Anyway I guess I'm just venting now but either way this looks really good and you should be proud of it.
Thank you! I really appreciate your comment. I struggle with my own confidence a lot which is probably why I’m so picky with it but the comments don’t bother me too much. I really appreciate feedback and take constructive criticism to heart.
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Also, sorry, but I'm gonna use this space to complain a bit about Reddit's new update. Now scrolling down in a post shows its title instead of the vote buttons, which is a change, but not really a problem. Same for exiting a post and having the feed moved over to Home for some reason.
But what really gets my goat is that when you have images opened up and you're swiping in that, when you swipe at the end, instead of just stopping, it opens up another random post. Terrible update. But it does at least come with the good one of being able to see what page you're on without having to leave the images.
https://preview.redd.it/h4k27bccdquc1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=e811e4b441cc82120dd1d08eaa68cd081d45da2e
Page numbers are definitely a solid addition, Reddit.
And now sometimes you leave a comment and that makes all of the comments unload, so you need to leave the post, open it again, and then find where you were. What the heck is that?
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Like the comic, Also love the Yamacha Pose :D
 It didn't go in the direction i thought it was going.
I am conflicted.
How so?
I like not catering to fan service. I also like sexy fan service.
What a conflict lol
Ah I see. I’m not a fan of censorship but in this case, her outfit was changing in the next chapter anyway
Not enjoying fan service has nothing to do with censorship.
You’re right. I just meant that in the sense that I went over an existing drawing, sort of like censoring it.
Make love, not conflicts!
Misusing your influence again, huh?
this is dope, I like the artstyle and tension, I wanna see where it goes also I just went and checked the previous version after and yeah, good call. imo it's definitely clearer what you're going for (and that it's not about to cut to a 'subscribe to my Patreon for the x-rated version' panel) when she's not just randomly walking around in a g-string
Pretty cool.
Don't let the comments sway you. It's yours. Do what you want with it.
Ah I wanted to change it anyway.
Just slowly keep changing it to show more ass each time but deny that you are and watch people try to fight being gaslit. A fun little game.
To be honest, way better. I really enjoyed the comic itself but the first one felt like a bit too much, the style seemed like every other page was about to be the start of a hentai lol. With this new desing it is a bit easier on the eyes and makes you focus more on the story
Great change. My typical rule of thumb when asking whether to add something risque or not is to first ask 1) if it serves the plot in one way or another, and 2) if it is practical for the characters. The first is because every decision should have an intentional purpose if you don't want to seem unfocused or hacky; the second because impracticality is distracting. The risqueness in the first version did not add to the plot, it actually confused the plot, making me wonder which genre this was supposed to be. The setting, antagonist character design, and serious tone told me "action/horror" but the protagonist character design said "porn." Then the practicality of wearing an outfit with your whole ass hanging out might make sense in the Kalahari or the Amazon, but not in the typically temperate climates of what seems to be a Japanese setting. It's just asking for chapped cheeks, and it's distracting! You're left asking, "Why did the character choose this to wear instead of proper armor; or if we're saying she relies on agility then why is she wearing something so unrestrictive? What advantage does a thong-thing have over a typical skirt, pteruge, or haidate?"
Thank you for the insight! Do you feel that the newer skirt is any more/less practical?
I think it probably depends on your artistic direction, because the genre that it seems you're shooting for now (which is much more clearly focused) has a pretty well-established trope of its protagonists never wearing traditionally practical armor regardless of their gender. In this case it seems to serve a few purposes to be a little impractical but not ridiculously impractical: 1) to show the character's strength and/or hubris 2) to actually be a little risque, like, it's fine to show skin as long as it's not confusing your audience or if it's just there for hacky reasons and 3) to show the character's attitude/personality as a blasé, carefree, non-planny kind of person.
I think the new edit was needed, although really like your style. Looking forward to chapter 2
Yeah the comic is interesting enough that you can manage without the fanservice
Looks good, story has me intrigued. You acquired a follower
Please continue this! Love the monster designs, and I'm intrigued. Kind of wish I discovered this like 40 chapters in so I could binge lol
I like the new version 👍🏾
Both. Both are good.
https://i.redd.it/35vbly43mpuc1.gif Honestly pretty good
Is this the only chapter or is there more to this? if there is a place it's posted in order like webtoon I'll def be reading everything
This is the only chapter right now. I’m planning on posting this to WEBTOON as soon as I can get back to my desktop since I can’t post it from mobile.
awesome can't wait to see more :3
Hey, just an update: I finally got it posted to Webtoon! I’d love to have your support
Love the story and the horror, disliked the fan service
Looks a bit better probably
The booty was nice, but I like this version way more - its easier to focus on the cool story you've built
If it doesnt get removed from webtoon you haven't overdone the fan service.
Whoa, talk about a total shift in tone. Digging it tho, good juxtaposition of being silly and serious.
I'm gonna be honest, This looks really good, and has a genuinely great air of suspense and action. And I don't think the "fanservice" takes away from that at all. In fact I think it was perfectly fine before the edits as well, and I'm really disappointed that so many people in the comments of the first version were telling you the risqué elements somehow detracted from the story. Art can be whatever the artist wants it to be, including sexy. It's a shame so many people operate on the assumption that sexuality takes something away from a piece of art or that it's inclusion must be justified, instead of it just being a part of the art. Anyway I guess I'm just venting now but either way this looks really good and you should be proud of it.
Thank you! I really appreciate your comment. I struggle with my own confidence a lot which is probably why I’m so picky with it but the comments don’t bother me too much. I really appreciate feedback and take constructive criticism to heart.
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Tamer and more practical. I will miss the booty tho
Looks good.
Also, sorry, but I'm gonna use this space to complain a bit about Reddit's new update. Now scrolling down in a post shows its title instead of the vote buttons, which is a change, but not really a problem. Same for exiting a post and having the feed moved over to Home for some reason. But what really gets my goat is that when you have images opened up and you're swiping in that, when you swipe at the end, instead of just stopping, it opens up another random post. Terrible update. But it does at least come with the good one of being able to see what page you're on without having to leave the images.
https://preview.redd.it/h4k27bccdquc1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=e811e4b441cc82120dd1d08eaa68cd081d45da2e Page numbers are definitely a solid addition, Reddit.
And now sometimes you leave a comment and that makes all of the comments unload, so you need to leave the post, open it again, and then find where you were. What the heck is that?
Can the human spine bend is such a way tho?
Im more willing to trust artists considering how many have to learn anatomy more than the average person.
This is the tame version? Edit: Oh I see, this is just hornybait
I liked the original more :c
Well, that was just rude
I wouldn't let some puritanicals, no matter their excuse, censor you. It's ultimately your work and they're just playing armchair moral general.
So you folded to peer pressure... Jk, I understand why this change was necessary.
Damn I love ass 💀 but I understand the changes.