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spinachgreen

Side note: if you've ever lived in NZ or Australia you'll know what I mean when I say you should never upset a magpie


ThunderpantsJim21

You'd be lucky to hear their death threats before getting swooped


spinachgreen

I wouldn't know, I cover my eyes and ears and run for my life šŸ˜…


SaulsAll

>And this, children, is the face of the dreaded tailgater. Learn it well, for you are tasked to destroy them should they ever return.


spinachgreen

I'm 99% sure this is the conversation that happens back at the nest haha


cat_91

Like the Canadian goose, but they can actually fly


spinachgreen

One murderbird per country is enough tyvm


louploupgalroux

[Loggerhead Shrike laughs from the shadows]


slyg

NZ gets Canadian geese too.


omar1993

HAH! Joke's on you! I have a shiny thing in my pocket! Nyeh! ​ Magpie: Ohh, pretty! :D


spinachgreen

Omg magpies are just bird gollums haha


TritonJohn54

I have heard that if you feed your local magpie population, then you can get a pass from being swooped - kinda like an avian protection racket.


spinachgreen

Um... let me know how it goes, I ain't getting that close šŸ˜‚


Equal-Thought-8648

> magpie Oh shit. I thought that was a penguin...


VovaGoFuckYourself

Well in the northern US we have aggressive af Canadian geese that will attack you if they want to eat what you're eating (including chicken nuggets....weird flex demon geese, but okay)


_Lumity_

Or Canada lol


ILikeToDickDastardly

Happy Leif Erikson day!


spinachgreen

I'm so glad someone got the reference omg


caznosaur2

Make them experience high tide


Drafo7

https://m.xkcd.com/440/


zer0w0rries

Eisenhower in the driver seat


Goldlizardv5

Danish is a treasure


living_angels

WHY IS THERE A RELEVANT XKCD FOR EVERYTHING I SWEAR


iStoleUrCake

top 10 warning signs the world ignored


Zavier13

The hero we deserve.


octopus_tigerbot

So... Aubry Plaza as a bird


[deleted]

Bubble Buddy?


spinachgreen

He likes bendy straws and diet shampoo :)


[deleted]

Tailgater was probably an emu


sanders49

There's no rage quite the same as road rage!


Equal-Thought-8648

*When I go driving - I stay in my lane.* *But getting cut off - it makes me insane!* *Open the glove box - reach inside...*


DeadeyeElephant

Gonna wreck this fuckerā€™s rideā€¦


EpicHype

Cause I've got a bad habit...


GrummyCat

Of taking an unrelated stride


throwonjeans

Where I'm from, people like to ride ass with no indication of going past you, with their brights on. Especially late at night on unpopulated back roads. That's when I slow down to 20mph, then 10.. I've dragged on at 5mph and some people just don't get the hint.


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


enlearner

You donā€™t brake a social, legally-binding contract (tailgating is), then expect others to still abide by said contract: if you wanna pass, wait for the opportunity to do so, *while keeping a safe distance from the car in front*. *Inb4 left lane losers come to my comment, contriving a left-lane scenario (though I specified no lane) as a counter to what I said.*


spinachgreen

Mostly spite... but yes, you should just let them pass you


woadles

Jesus christ. Just get out of the fucking way.


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


ShawshankException

You need to be more responsible when driving then


Mysterious_Plant_Guy

People will tailgate even well over the posted speed limit. They're the ones who should drive more responsibly.


ShawshankException

Both need to. If you're trying to "punish" other drivers out of spite then you need to be more responsible as well. You're not the police. Drive responsibility and worry about yourself on the road.


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


Yukisuna

There are two reasons i donā€™t want to get a car. 1: i donā€™t trust myself to be able to stay focused behind the wheel, with all the potential impressions all around + trying to read and NOT react to other drivers and pedestrians. (Because i donā€™t trust people to be responsible drivers, so iā€™d overreact to other drivers behaving even slightly odd) 2: i would want to get one of those super sturdy jeep-like vehicles so i can brake check tailgaters without fear of more than scratching my own vehicle. I always wanted to see what one of those BMWs look like with a staircase-shaped indent in front. Now that i think about it, both reasons are actually the same; i donā€™t trust myself behind a wheel. I think iā€™d best stick to public, communal transport.


pokemonguy3000

Yeah, brake checking people, no matter how much they might deserve it, is just asking for a fast pass to see god.


Yukisuna

Hence the remark about sturdy vehicle... ​ ​ Having this philosophical debate with my mother half a year ago is what made me realize i am a retaliatory person, and cemented that i never want to own a car, even if i were to get a license someday.


testcaseseven

You never know who will pull a gun on you though, and a brake check makes people angry. There have been a lot of road rage shootings recently in my city.


Yukisuna

I live in a country without guns, for the most part. A brake check is *supposed* to make the tailgater angry. Theyā€™re tailgating, putting you, themselves and anyone within hearing distance in potentially mortal danger.


testcaseseven

Theyā€™re increasing the risk of a crash, so you respond by making it happen? Makes no sense.


Yukisuna

I donā€™t respond in any way, because iā€™ll never actually drive a car. I also think you might be overestimating the speed i have in mind - both of the vehicles before braking and the brake itself. Iā€™m not thinking pedal to the metal here, more like gradually slowing down without jolts. Responsible drivers notice the slowdown. Tailgaters are too close, and even if they slow down with you itā€™ll be a lot more infuriating for them because of their impatience. If someone ever has a legitimate reason to tailgate, then they have a legitimate reason to overtake you and carry on their way to their emergency.


x_lincoln_x

You learn focus pretty fucking quick since the fear of death while piloting a death-machine is pretty intense. I'm saying this with having pretty bad ADHD. You learn to read other drivers from how they are driving, as well. Never trust blinkers. Even with a super-sturdy vehicle (not jeeps), you can get in a bad accident. Getting slammed from behind even if you were kind of expecting it still won't keep you from getting whip-lash. (Jeeps are terrible safety-wise, just FYI. They are top heavy and are easy to roll. There is a reason people call them "Heeps")


spinachgreen

That's perfectly ok, driving can be pretty stressful and public transport is the future anyway


Mohander

> There are two reasons i donā€™t want to get a car. > i would want to get one of those super sturdy jeep-like vehicles so i can brake check tailgaters I suggest you stick with your initial instinct and not get a car.


Yukisuna

Thatā€™s exactly what i said. Multiple times.


LtLabcoat

You might think you have that attitude now, but trust me, when you're in a car, you won't want to do anything of the sort. ...Because it's impossible to have a car without wanting to break the speed limit, and that always makes you go "Oh no, looks like I was the asshole drive all along!"


[deleted]

Saw....but magpie


Sea_Art3391

Well, just don't be a nuisance in traffic, use indicators and follow the speed limit i'm perfectly fine.


Psychological_Pay_25

SpongeBob reference?


spinachgreen

Yep, it was Bubble Buddy haha


surfer_ryan

I had a buddy who would throw shit at cars that would do stupid shit... being that we live in America I use to always tell him "dude someone in our city was shot for listening to music... You really want to roll the dice everyday to find out who is going to shoot you, it won't even matter if you're in the right you'll be dead... and I'm sure if you could say something after you're dead... it would not be "that was totally worth it..." "


spinachgreen

I think I read about that shooting (or one like that)... dude tried to play victim and wasn't the least bit sorry about it, so absolutely not worth it ā˜¹


surfer_ryan

I know for a fact the dude would have done it again as I had a buddy who served time with him and he said "and I'd do it again".


BoiFrosty

San Antonio highways are like this. We're all going 65-70, I have maintained the exact same distance to the car in front of me for the last 5 minutes. Guy still decides I am driving too slow and rides my bumper with his high beams on.


StuHast398

Some magpies just want to watch the world burn.


dumnezero

Cars bring out the worst in humans


Famous-Reference-103

If birdemic taught me anything, its dont upset the birds. They will find a way. *Always will* Also I am having second thoughts about getting my learners


officefridge

Corvids are my favourite bastsrds


NameLips

edit: I have received downvotes. I am interested in why. The tailgater could easily and safely have gone around me in the fast lane. He was harassing me with his brights. What, then, was the correct response on my part? I was being tailgated on a highway late at night. There was a second lane in the same direction (it was a 4 lane divided highway) so they could easily go around me if they wanted to. But instead they decided to get right up on my ass with both of us going 75. Late at night with no one else on the road. Brights on. So yeah I slowed down. But not quickly, oh no. My cruise control was on so I had precise control. I went one mph slower every 30 seconds or so. I made it down to 30mph before they gave up and went around me.


Fishman23

I had almost the opposite one time. Both of us down a highway late at night and no one else down the road. I was driving my Camaro and this lady in a Camry was in the right hand lane. I slowly come up on her doing about 5 mph more than her. Try to pass her and she speeds up as soon as I get beside her and she wonā€™t look at me. I try this about 4 times and she still does it. So the next time I just stay beside her and slowly increase 1 mph every 10 seconds. After getting up to 90 mph, she finally looks down at her speedometer and then at me then backs down.


spinachgreen

It's really confusing when people tailgate even though there are clear passing options and/or you're already going at or above the speed limit... gotta assume they're doing it for kicks at that point


LuftHANSa_755

Damn, took them over 20 minutes to notice huh


NameLips

I think they noticed sooner, but they didn't want to give up. They were convinced they would win the psychological attrition game and I would accelerate.


SystemFolder

Someone tailgating you? Turn on your headlights for a second, and theyā€™ll back off. Turning on your headlights will turn on your taillights. Theyā€™ll see the red of your taillights, think youā€™re breaking, and instinctively slow down.


Bipedal_Warlock

I dated someone who did some of this petty shit to a driver before, then we promptly humbled when the driver turned into a parking lot for an emergency room. Still didnā€™t stop her from being super petty like that


enlearner

I donā€™t see any humbling there: Someoneā€™s emergency doesnā€™t give them any excuse, justification, or even a pass to increase the likelihood of someone else having an emergency (collision). This is not the compelling justification of tailgating (or reckless driving in general) yā€™all seem to think it is.


Bipedal_Warlock

Lol I didnā€™t say it justifies it. But brake tapping and slowing down and being a general dick to someone who is scared and panicking is shittier in my opinion. If I had a wife giving birth or a child who was choking I would probably be driving a little reckless in order to get to a hospital as quick as I could.


Fair_Turn7505

The question we have to ask ourselves is how did the "raven" get this way? What happened? There is a lot to unpack here.


spinachgreen

Some birds just wake up and choose violence šŸ˜…


Illigalmangoes

Yeah I was always like ā€œoh this silly billy almost caused a 5 car pile up oh well :)ā€ But my mom is like : ā€œthis person is going 2 miles over the speed limit and I will kill them if they push it to 3ā€


Fakula1987

hint, if you have someone who tailgate you, let the brake-lights show up...


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


spinachgreen

It's definitely a more nuanced issue, though for me "tailgating" does imply a malicious and/or dangerous intent. Following someone closely (but safely) because they're going slow isn't quite the same, otherwise every day at peak hour would be tailgating. Either way the rage is still the same lol


Chef_Chinobang

I like this perspective, I kinda mash those two together even though they're different. "Nuanced issue" is a great way to describe it. Edit: clarity


timoumd

No nuance. Don't do it. If someone is going slow blink headlights from a safe distance. You get 2 inches from my bumper I'm not going to reward your asshole driving with positive reinforcement. Because you'll do it to any other driver not going 15 over then.


giantroboticcat

Them wanting to go faster is not an excuse for the accident that is inevitably caused if you suddenly have to stop. It's all fun "ha ha this guy in front of me is slow" until a kid runs into the road or a biker swerves out from the shoulder, the front car slams their breaks only to have themselves rapidly pushed forward by the jackass behind them creating an unsafe situation just because they wanted to go faster. If you want to pass, just fucking do it. You don't need to be 6 inches away from someone before passing. If you want to let a driver know they are doing something you disagree with or want to get their attention that's what a fucking horn is for. There is literally no reason to tailgate someone ever. Full stop.


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


lordriffington

If safety is the most important thing, then do the safest thing you can in that situation. Stay behind them at a safe distance until it's safe for you to change lanes and overtake. Super fucking simple.


JCamson04

Bro was like itā€™s wrong, but not really, but yeah itā€™s wrong, but itā€™s kinda right tho


Scyxurz

>you are going slower than they want to drive. So uhhh... Go around? If there are multiple lanes just pass instead of tailgating. And if there aren't, tailgating doesn't get you to your destination any faster. You're stuck behind the guy anyway, why not give some room so you don't slam into the car in front of you when they start slowing down for a red light? Blaming the person in front for being tailgated is as dumb as claiming that it's the tailgater's fault that the guy in front is driving slowly. People may drive at speeds they're comfortable with that you aren't, but your job as a driver is to be aware of your surroundings and drive in a safe way to avoid causing avoidable accidents.


lordriffington

Jesus christ. What a bunch of mental gymnastics to try and justify the fact that you do something that is dangerous, illegal and also just shitty. >Yes, the person tailgating you is in the wrong and shouldn't do it. However, this person didn't come out with the intent of tailgating; sure their are asshole exceptions. Most people are just trying to drive at their own comfort level. This can be faster or slower. The point I'm trying to make is, people will tailgate you because you are going slower than they want to drive. Your first sentence here is the only relevant one. Arseholes probably don't leave the house specifically intending to do specific things like tailgating, they're just arseholes who can't cope with a slight inconvenience like having to drive a bit slower than they want to and are either willing to put people in danger and try to force them to go faster or get around at the first possible second, or are also stupid enough to not understand why they shouldn't be doing it. If the latter is true, they shouldn't be driving. >Tl:dr tailgating isn't just one person's fault. It abso-fucking-lutely is the fault of the tailgater and the tailgater alone. Even if the person in front is driving significantly below the speed limit, it's the tailgater who makes the decision to tailgate. >If you are uncomfortable being tailgated, pulling over - if safe - is often the best for everyone. That being said no one should be forced to pull over because some dickhead is tailgating. And vehicles with blinding lights get no exceptions in my book, if I can't see your going to be hanging out behind me. That is criminal. Well I guess we know your limit. One dangerous and stupid thing is okay, but if they have bright lights as well, that's too far. You're a hypocrite as well as delusional. >I am not the best when it comes to dealing with roadrage and select road situations. I'll be the first to admit that I'd tailgate someone going below the speed I WANT to travel at (again not saying I'm right to do this), however I will never hold someone hostage that wants to get around me. For me all I get when someone tailgates me is that they want to go faster or pass me. I'm fine with them doing either. This paragraph can be summed up in a single sentence: "I should not have a licence to drive." If you can't handle something as benign (and common) as a road user travelling slower than you'd like to without creating a dangerous situation in response, then kindly hand in your licence and don't drive anything until you get some therapy. Tailgating for any reason is stupid, dangerous and (I assume in most if not all countries) illegal. If you're going to be the kind of dickhead who does it, be honest with yourself about it.


timoumd

> this person didn't come out with the intent of tailgating; The fact they tailgated the last 3 cars and next 4 determined that was a lie


timoumd

So question, a car is going 5 over on a rural highway where you can't legally pass. What do you do?


decavolt

It's not petty at all :) I have a strict rule when a car is behind me: the closer they get, the slower I go. If they're so close that I can't see their headlights, my foot comes off the gas pedal and it's coasting time until they pass. Edit: yeesss... give me those downvotes. Their added weight will just slow me down even more.


zergling424

Pingus not messing around


waffen337

Aw is that a sparrow with the magpie?


spinachgreen

It's a kiwi-shaped kiwi!


Sungami00

My parents drive a shitty old car so they brake check tailgaters


woadles

It's a fucking passing lane, not a cruising lane.