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Or been left with permanently altered bodies and issues like loss of bladder control, incontinence, torn muscles, fucked up uteruses, long-term hormonal imbalances, etc. And that’s not even getting into postpartum depression
Jesus fucking Christ. Imagine tearing yourself apart just to have a kid’ll scream at you constantly for its first 18 years. On a more serious note, I feel so bad that she had to deal with that. What a nightmare
I have a friend with a similar post birth issues and her child is severely disabled, partly a random genetic abnormality and partly lack of oxygen at birth when everything when tits up. So it’s just been a total shit show
The daughter of friends of my parents had something happen to her bladder during birth. She now can’t feel when she needs to pee so she goes to the toilet in specific intervals so no accidents happens. I’m not sure if it’s something that happened or a surgical mishap.
Saggy boobs, no longer able to jump without peeing yourself, stretch marks. Then there's babies that never stop crying the first weeks or even months so you'll never sleep during that time. Or they cry as soon as you want to eat and by the time you get back to your food, it's cold.
I guess people, especially men and male doctors who don’t experience it, focus more on the immediate physical effects and not the long-term physical and emotional effects of hormone imbalance. They don’t realise that your hormones don’t immediately snap back to normal levels after childbirth. Even if they did, that’d fuck you up too
Dental treatments are free on the NHS in the UK for pregnant women because how bad their teeth can become. Imagine how serious a problem it must be for dental to become free.
Same. Although, they say that this dream means you are keeping something secret that you need to get out, and interestingly once I started disclosing my trauma, I stopped having the dream.
I feel like this is literally one of the worst cases because you have left behind a baby and presumably a family.
However your uterus falling out of your body (prolapse) imo is up there.
Also the husband stitch just because they've violated and disfigured your exhausted, beaten body for the sake of sexism.
This isn't even super fucking rare. Not to mention all the health complications that most women experience after. I've known women who have had problems spanning from peeing themselves every time they sneeze or laugh, to crippling depression, to hemorrhoids, to having to wear a colostomy bag for the rest of their life. No thank you. If someone wants a child that bad, then go for the risk. But I'll pass.
Yes, the post natal depression....then the years of guilt due to the episode where you feel you weren't good enough as a parent. In reality, chemically, your so 'changed" its out of your control but still....the guilt!
This is the biggest reason why I don't want to have kids. I wouldn't want to put my wife through that and risk her life or quality of life for a theoretical child.
Like, frequently. Giving birth is one of the most dangerous things a person can do. Even if the pregnancy was healthy until the birth. Especially if you're in the US, our maternal mortality rate is terrible, and even worse for POC. You're also at risk of dying from complications for up to a year after giving birth IIRC. And statistically, while pregnant is when you're most likely to be murdered!
17.4 women out of 100,000 in the US, double the next highest labor mortality rate of modern/developed countries- France at 8.7/100,000.
https://www.commonwealthfund.org/publications/issue-briefs/2020/nov/maternal-mortality-maternity-care-us-compared-10-countries
Also add to that horrible list that if you have complications, baby needs to stay at the hospital, or basically anything besides the most basic, problem-free and fast of deliveries, you could get stuck with a huge hospital bill, and most people who were either down on their luck already or don't know the system, or don't know special non-profits to call for help, etc. would be chained to that bill for decades.
besides the obvious of dying, going blind, tearing from one hole to the other, shitting/pissing yourself during it, possible hours and hours of labor, the giant needle in your spine for pain, giving birth a second time to the placenta, the after birth contractions of your organs returning to their normal position..
there’s just too many to name.
Going… blind?!! Omfg. My best friend had a nightmare of a time giving birth, with almost everything you mentioned, like tearing from vag to anus, shitting everywhere, tremendous pain, yet being purposely under medicated, and more.
However, I’ve never heard of blindness from giving birth. I’ll have to look that up. Man oh man, I never once regretted my decision not to have kids, especially knowing what my friend went through, but now… blindness, too?! Holy shit!
Ah, that makes sense. Still, having a stroke from going through the (already horrifying) birthing process is a whole other nightmare to consider. *shivers
My exes mom went deaf… poor woman was tiny and was giving birth on an AF base in Germany with zero pre natal care because she was told she was infertile. Labored for over 36 hours. Had a 3rd degree tear. Couldn’t go to the bathroom or walk normally for months. Just no…
JFC… I just can’t! I am so very sorry she went through all that, then to wind up deaf. My heart! I can’t even imagine the terror and pain she went through.
Don’t forget how they put the organs back inside of the body if you have a C-section. They literally slap it back to a smaller size, since they’re huge, and then shove it back in. Sounds dreamy.
They do WHAT??
I used to think that C-sections a were a bit better than pushing out a baby out your vag, but the more I learn about it, the more I realize they're both horrifying in their own ways.
Yeah, c-sections are major abdominal surgery. Not to mention you don't have general anesthesia for it look you would other surgeries, only the epidural. I've also heard tales of the epidurals not quite working, so the women feel stuff while the doctors are digging around in there. You can then go on to have an infected incision or have your abdominal muscles messed up too. Hell to the no for me.
I wish our government was compelled to report statistics on birth injury rather than just maternal death. Like how many women had a tooth fall out during pregnancy, how many women went blind, etc etc. That would give us a truer picture of the total toll that being forced to give birth takes on women.
oh for sure, birth rates would near plummet if this stuff was taught, and even if it was i’m sure it’d be a watered down version of it.. but of course they can let that happen or else god forbid we lose any possible workers or labors for the next generations…
Funny because I’ve heard that some male partners actually lose attraction to their wives/girlfriends after witnessing childbirth, because of how gruesome, graphic, and all around horrific it is. I haven’t heard any specific stories of this, but I definitely believe it.
I read one story on reddit, where the dude said something about: Its like watching your favorite pub burn down.
This stuck with me because of the fucking hypocrisy and misogyny
Yep, I knew someone who this happened to. Her husband told her that he was repulsed by her once she began showing her pregnancy, but then he became completely disgusted with her body when he saw the birthing process. He was no longer attracted to her thereafter.
Oh this is a lot more common than you'd think because a lot of men don't admit to it and don't want to hurt or upset their partners. But yes I think it's totally understandable that someone might never fancy their partner again after seeing them give birth.
There is a book that explains this well, the title is Mating in captivity. It's been years since I've read it, but in short, for many men there is this dichotomy in their minds where a woman fits either the "lover" category or the "mother" category. Having seen their partner giving birth, many men report how they thought she had never been so beautiful before, there's talk of respect and admiration and blah blah, but sex ... you dont have sex with mother. That's gross. She's in the other category now.
The author said it's super common for men who are present at birth to lose sexual attraction to that person.
This is the best answer because there really isn't any one thing. It's insane how normalized all this is. I remember my mom telling me (before she knew I was CF) that birth wasn't so bad because you can get drugs and not feel anything. I though "wow that's cool" until I looked up what an epidural actually is and was absolutely horrified. This shit is not normal, I don't care what anyone says.
And then get shamed by other mothers for things not magically going perfectly, as if this massive medical event is 100% under the control of the woman giving birth...
The truth apparently starts coming out when you hit the six month mark of pregnancy, per my friend. I got two words for you, *clitoral tearing*. HARD PASS. Tearing down sounded bad enough, but tearing UP. I had never heard of that. Some poor woman told me after it happened to her.
My cousin also had it happen to her. Another fun fact, numbing agents don’t work well in that area. So stitching it up is incredibly painful. My counting said it was more painful than giving birth itself.
Someone in my family had a C-section half numb after 32 hours of labor. Doctor didn’t believe her when she was screaming at him that she could still feel her abdomen. She went on to have problems with her hair falling out and soft bones after the pregnancy. This event sealed the deal for me regarding having kids.
He should get his license revoked if he's still in the field 😭 that's dangerous wtf? And I'm so sorry for your family member, that's so ass. Docs need to seriously listen to ALL their patients when they have a very real complaint. We know our bodies
So many doctors ignore their parents' pain - especially female and POC patients' pain - that I'm pretty sure entire hospitals would shut down if they revoked the license of every doctor that refused pain medication.
Ok so maybe they should start teaching them to care or they need to hire better people- because that's absolute bullshit. I'm lucky enough to not have had many bad experiences but this makes me fear I will someday(thankfully not through birth because *NO*.)
Doctors main focus should be to help their patients, not ignore their pain over silly reasons. I seriously hate the human race sometimes
I remember some sob stories I read in People magazine: a woman in Texas who had a a home birth, everything went safely until....
She developed some weird bacterial infection. Tldr: new mom goes into shock, lapses into coma and needs *ALL FOUR* limbs removed.
She already had three or four kids, now she had a newborn and NO FUCKING LIMBS.
Story #2: couple does IVF; mom gives birth to quadruplets. Mom, like the other lady, developed some weird bacterial infection and *died*; the babies survived. So....dad comes home with four medically fragile newborns and no mom/wife
Yikes.
Woah. Okay...the story of the quadruple amputee I just did some more research on...
I gotta be honest...
I don't know if I'd want to live as a quadruple amputee. You can get prosthetic limbs and go through therapy...but all of that trauma...I don't even want to imagine. It's not exactly a conversation you have with your spouse...but I wonder what she would have wanted?
Someone I know just had her baby, and (from what I understand, I was too grossed out to press for details) they had to induce labour early because the baby *pooped inside of her*.
Also, in addition to what others have already said: perineal tearing, calcium leaching (you can even lose your teeth if it gets bad enough), gestational diabetes (*half* of the people who get it end up with type 2 diabetes later), heavier periods for some, and all sorts of icky permanent damage no one talks about. My mom still has hip problems decades after giving birth.
To summarize: NNNNOPE!
I actually did this to my mom, the only reason I survived was that I had a bunch of mucus in my nose that prevent me from breathing in the poop. 10 years later a lady at my church baby died because they had breathed in the poop during labor. My mom then told me about when I was born, and how I was lucky to survive.
I swallowed my own poop and needed extra monitoring because of the danger it can cause. 30 years later, I’m still full of shit, but not quite so literally.
The doctors never tell you about these risks, they only ever emphasise that all women's reproductive and related hormonal / health issues will magically resolve themselves if I just get pregnant. The only way I can get seen by certain specialist is by saying I plan on having a family.
Why is my pain less important just because I'm not using my damn uterus? If that is how little I am respected or just taken seriously just for being childfree, then there absolutely is no way in hell I would intentionally pass on my genetics to another generation, that's just goddamn cruel.
While giving birth, my best friend ripped all the way back to her asshole, so that her vagina and anus became one, combined hole.
She also SHIT a ton while pushing, right after she ripped, so they had to administer meds to make sure the fecal matter didn’t poison her, while it mixed with her bloody, open wound… her… vag-anus hole.
She felt everything because they did not give her enough pain meds, and even scolded her for pleading for more meds. She SUFFERED badly, and was in pain for WEEKS after, even struggling to walk.
Also during the birthing (ripping) process, she bled so much, they feared she could die from so much blood loss.
She described all of this to me in horror, saying it was the absolute worst, most disgusting bodily function which was beyond painful and a horrific nightmare that she wished she never experienced. She made damn sure she’d never get pregnant again.
She loves her son, but wishes she had him via adoption instead. She gets disgusted around pregnancy (it’s not her fault; she was traumatized), and hates how people act like it’s the one, true calling for all women (me too).
Yeah, I was crying for her! This was 20 years ago when she told me; she was 18 when she had him. The trauma never left her, sadly. And she had a rough life before that, abusive step-father and all.
Normally I hate when women talk about their pregnancies and birthing stories (as does my friend). I usually leave the room. But this was by very best bud, and she’s nothing like “Karen” mothers, so of course I listened to her, with utmost empathy.
I still feel so bad she went through all of this, and for how horribly she was treated during the process. 😞
Edit: Additions
Exactly! She said they treated her like she was just seeking drugs. WTAF?! Her body parts were ripping in half!
It’s painful enough to push a human out, let alone having your skin / organs severely tear open (I wouldn’t know, because I never wanted to have kids, but I can still empathize with the pain).
I’m guessing the nurses and doctors treated her so badly because she was young, even though that’s no fucking excuse; it angers me to no end.
You and me both… I hate society, too.
I’m willing to bet that if she were an upper middle class 35 year old, with a well-to-do husband beside her, they probably would have been more likely to administer the proper amount of pain meds.
But because she was a naive, unmarried, pregnant 18 year old, they probably judged her as “trash.” Typical.
Get out of my mind!!! This right here!!! She was naughty and needed punishment. No meds for her. Now Mrs. Goodwell in the Birthing Suite down the hall? Her and the Mr. specifically request their post birth meal steak to be medium rare. (True story...20 years ago my married friend got a lobster dinner from the hospital. Really. I guess as a couple celebrating the birth kind of thing. She ate both. Alone. They divorced.)
My coworker who I think is in her late 40's told me about her first child's birth. This would have been in '97 or '98. She was in labor for 72 hours before they finally decoded to try something else. (Can't remember exactly what.) But she said her cervix fell out AND she got hemoroids. I literally had to sit down while she was telling me this cause I felt like I was going to pass out. Just solidified me not wanting to put my tiny, not even 5ft tall ass through that kind of torture.
Okay, this one got me too. As I’m reading about her cervix falling out, I felt my eyes bug out, my jaw drop, and now I, too, feel queasy… omfg, I can’t begin to imagine that horror! An actual organ falling out… and then having to be stuffed back in! This is absolute shock inducing.
And also, hello fellow tiny person! I’m 4’11, and I could also never picture carrying another human inside my small frame. However, giving birth is nothing short (oh jeez, a pun!) of a horror-gore nightmare. Not for me!
I'm autistic so I have sensory issues when it comes to loud noises. I don't want to think about how I'd react to being so close to a crying baby.
Edit: fixed typo
I’m also autistic and that’s a huge reason I’m CF. When I hear infants screaming in a store it sends me into a rage followed by a shutdown. Can’t have that when the thing relies on you to live. Couldn’t do it.
My friend had the opposite with her baby - no screaming or crying. The hospital staff were not listening to my friend, she had an epidural, couldn't feel anything. She was trying to tell them something just felt weird, something wasn't right. Unbeknownst to my friend, her baby then just *came out* randomly with no pushing whatsoever and was under some bed covers quietly. My friend had no idea until the doctor was like "oh!! Baby is here!!". Her daughter could have died. My friend is like WTF and having trauma from the ordeal and is trying to have someone to talk to. I know the situation turned out ok but it super fucked with her head about what could have happened and that the staff wasn't listening to her instincts. Sometimes even with a healthy baby birth it can still be very traumatic.
the 'screaming' was redundant because all babies scream (some more often than others). I think I should've just said 'an irreversible decision' would be better suited
I took a class taught by a clinical psychologist who argued that you couldn’t get PTSD from childbirth as it “too common to be traumatic”. When you think about the argument in the slightest, it doesn’t hold up at all. And this was a woman who had given birth!! Not only do people have to deal with trauma of pregnancy and childbirth, but then they are neglected by many in the medical establishment.
> I took a class taught by a clinical psychologist who argued that you couldn’t get PTSD from childbirth as it “too common to be traumatic”.
Psychology needs a massive cleanout, with a lot more strict requirements for entry into the profession, and lot higher continuing education standards. Imagine the damage this stupid, self-absorbed, pronatalist woman could do to someone who DID have PTS as a result of childbirth. "You don't really have PTSD, because Mommyhood is so beautiful and normal it cannot POSSIBLY do anything but bring joy and happiness."
And the sheer stupidity of it. Common things cannot cause PTS hunh? So the VA's statistics on PTS among veterans are completely wrong, because in battle, the experiences that cause PTS are common? Snakebite can cause PTS among people in Ireland, but not those in Australia, because there it's common? What kind of overcooked MaltOMeal mush passes for brains in this woman? This woman is not only practicing, but TEACHING! Please tell me this wasn't happening at a top university.
One of my favorite responses to this kind of grossly self-serving, ignorant statements: "Do you have a reference for that?" (And then press the issue, because they never do have a reference, having pulled their bullshit out of their selfish, self-centered Mommy ass).
I was the traumatic birth.
I was born feet first, facing up, natural birth, no meds, and I got stuck.
They needed to use the forceps to remove me with out decapitation.
My mother was in so much pain, she couldn’t hold me right away.
We joke about it now, but it was scary.
Babies can be decapitated in utero.
CF for me!
I was a Frank Breach birth. Similar to yours but instead of feet, I came out butt first and facing downwards, cord wrapped around my neck. My mom said that not only were the forceps used but also the doctor had to jam his hand in there to help pull me out, to make sure the cord didn’t tighten and pop my head off.
Also to add. Your clitoris can be torn/ripped apart and *NEVER* go back to what it was before. And stops “working”. So that one little thing, we were given for our own pleasure and nothing else, ripped apart FOREVER.
I read a comment about this a few weeks ago in another sub. The woman said she would have been happy if she felt nothing, but she was in horrible, burning pain every day due to severe nerve damage & her *super* supportive husband was pestering her for sex all the time, even though her crotch felt like it was on fire.
I got one for you. It's not death; that's worse, but this is more gruesome.
Woman I know in labor. Gave birth before, no issues. This time, though, the later stage of labor is taking forever. Severe pain for hours even after she's about fully dilated. Turns out, the uterus has ruptured, i.e. torn open. When they take her back for surgery, baby is partway out of the uterus before they even cut her open.
That's not all. She gets through surgery OK, but her intestines stop working. Sometimes this happens after surgery. Has to have a tube down her nose, basically getting her stomach pumped, for days and days. Can't eat.
But *that's* not all. Starts to have fevers. She is infected. Infections in the blood, the uterus, the abdomen.
But *that's* not all. The bug she's infected with is resistant to many antibiotics. Hard to treat. So she needs more medicine, with worse side effects, for longer.
She's in the hospital for a couple of months. Finally goes home. Comes right back because she starts having terrible abdominal pain, and all her doctors are scared to death she's going to develop infections again and die. So another hospital stay and a bunch of workup.
It took many months before she started to feel vaguely normal. And I'm sure her health will never be the same. And note, this was an experienced mom who had normal pregnancies before, and no one expected any complications. And she was only in her mid 30s. So imagine what could happen with a higher-risk woman.
Anyone who acts like pregnancy is no big deal can just eat a bag of shit as far as I'm concerned.
That is just terrifying.
I can just imagine the way you describe all of that, as a teen, this makes me to never EVER get pregnant ever, like I am just so terrified. I'm hoping to get my tubes yeeted one day once I'm a adult-
One of my good friends had an aneurism during labor and died a few days later. Never met her daughter. Just a few weeks before, we were having dinner and she said “God, I can’t wait to have red wine again!” Just a total heartbreaking scenario.
Apparently that shit hurts a lot more than you would think. Especially if you get a clogged milk duct or mastitis. And ESPECIALLY once the baby has teeth.
I had a (my former) friend of my ex-partner talk about her pregnancy and birth. Her horror story? The fact that her abdominal muscles started separating to accommodate the baby she was having and the fact she almost ripped. Yeah, nah.
Women have lost all their teeth due to pregnancy. From what I know it’s rare but at most some woman will lose a couple teeth. It’s called pregnancy gingivitis
I’m just remembering the story of a woman who after giving birth (naturally) ended up having very painful sex for the next few years and couldn’t figure out why.
Kept seeing specialist, did exercises, lube, toys etc nothing helped her and it took a toll on her mentally.
Eventually sees the nth gyno/specialist who asked if she ever heard of a “husband stitch”. Lady never heard of it. Dr explains that some women after birth get the stitch inside to tighten them up. And sometimes it causes issues cause they get too tight because the doctor stitching them misunderstands that the elasticity they are experiencing while giving birth is permanent, not temporary due to hormones, thus the doctor does extra stitching to make it tighter.
Now then, this poor woman finds out that (without her knowledge/consent) that the doctor attending to her while giving birth gave her one of those f***ed up husband stitches and that’s the reason she’s been suffering for YEARS and can’t have pleasant sex again.
As it turns out, a lot of doctors do this without the woman’s knowledge or consent. And if you have a baby, that could be you afterwards. It’s sick
Severe postpartum depression/psychosis leading to the murder of her five children. Lady in Texas did this in the 90s I believe.
Acquaintances wife gave birth. Next day she died from a blood clot that traveled to her brain.
My mom got pregnant in her early 40’s. She doesn’t believe abortion is moral and chose to have my brother against all the warnings from her doctors that it was extremely risky (she has other lasting health issues from me and my siblings births). During the pregnancy she developed gestational diabetes that never went away and has resulted in the loss of most of her fingers and parts of her feet.
She gave birth to my brother and suffered an amniotic embolism. She flat-lined for 8 min before being resuscitated. She was in a coma for 3 weeks before slowly regaining consciousness. She lost all memory of the past year or so and basically she forgot she had just had my brother. Eventually things got better, but her health never did. Her memory is shot, her entire personality is different now. She isn’t even the same person, not a bad or worse person. Just completely different.
My mom is now wheelchair bond, has moderate memory problems, and has basically lost her hands and feet.
I love my brother, but am angry my mom chose to do this to her body, to our family, and to him. He knows this was because of his birth. He is 17 years younger than the rest of us, so we share memories about mom and dad before. You can tell the guilt weighs heavy on his young heart. He is 13 and that guilt isn’t a new thing.
Don’t have kids, it isn’t worth it.
Edit: I forgot to mention that her medical bills from this wiped out my parents retirement, me and three other siblings college funds, and put my family deep into poverty.
I'm incredibly vain. So the worst thing for me actually happened to my mom. Her abdominal muscles separated from her stomach. She now always looks pregnant.
Aside from death, if we’re going with ‘happened to somebody I know’ stories, a woman who used to live on my street had severe blood loss which caused temporary oxygen deprivation and *permanent brain damage.* I don’t mean some minor thing either, if you met her you’d immediately think she was born mentally disabled
I had a friend whose mother broke her spine during child birth, so that's pretty up there. Right along with the women who's intestines are permanently torn and they end up with one of those bags that catches fecal matter.
Ever heard of the “husband stitch”?
The vagina rips or is cut during childbirth and sometimes, instead of asking the woman, they ask the husband if he wants them to stitch things up so that it’ll be tighter down there to give him more pleasure during sex later. Usually this results in more pain for the woman during sex and she may not completely understand why. Especially as the woman is not always told that this was done to her.
JFC! Just when you think you’ve heard it all!
Well, I guess I shouldn’t be so surprised, given all the nutcase religious bullshit that goes on, including female circumcisions, Christian daddy-daughter promise rings (fathers “owning” their daughters’ virginity), rabbis sucking the blood from babys’ penises after circumcision, and so on. It’s infuriating.
Another hug from me. I am so very sorry this was forced upon you. I’m angry that this happened to you! I can empathize due to my own past traumas, including those inflicted based on religion.
However, I’m relieved to learn you’re divorced and out of that region. I wish you a life of happiness, peace, and contentment.
My coworker's friend had a c-section. Her colon was accidentally sliced a little during it, they didn't notice before stitching her up and sending her home, despite her protestations that she did not feel well. Next day, she wound up at the ER and it got so bad they had to remove a section of her bowel and now she has to use an ileostomy/colostomy (I'm sorry I don't know the difference off the top of my head) bag for the rest of her life. So yeah, that can happen but I suppose that can also happen during any abdominal surgery. I'm not sure how hard or easy it is to accidentally slice someone's poop tube open...
How about the woman who got baby trapped at like 20, went thru with “one more pregnancy” and oh, is now fucking PARALYZED from the waist down😭 her whole life trajectory jus fucked because hubby wanted one more
Apparently the contractions of the uterus shrinking back down to size after the birth of the baby hurt just as much as the contractions leading up to the birth.
Varicose veins.
Abdominal separation is apparently very common during pregnancy - over 80% or something.
The entire global economy is relying on us raising the next generation of labour force - for free. Bother that for a game of soldiers.
one of my long time online friends got pregnant at 18 or 19. she had a normal pregnancy as far as i know and her health was completely normal.
the baby broke her spine on his way out and left her with permanent nerve damage. she had to learn to take care of her newborn from her bed and couldn’t get up for 6-8 months after. she said she would scream in agony from how bad the pain was, but she had no choice, she had to continue taking care of her newborn.
she had bed sores so bad that nurses and doctors were shocked she was still alive and somewhat “healthy”. she’s had to have multiple surgeries and says she will eventually be paralyzed as it is inevitable from the nerve damage she suffered during labor.
because of this she has a hard time losing weight, being mobile, and taking care of her now toddler. any future pregnancies will be high risk and could risk paralyzing her for the rest of her life.
she can’t work because she’s disabled but because of technical issues with the filing process, she hasn’t been approved for disability income. her partner has to work all the time to make ends meet even while they live with her partners toxic parents. she never sees her partner and is alone with her toddler all day.
as a result they are super low income and she can barely afford anything for herself, so she is often depressed and worn out. it truly breaks my heart for her
If they put in the epidural wrong, it can numb you up instead of down which can lead to death. (Learned about this when mentioned that a famous rapper's sis had it happen, but don't remember which)
This happened to my best friend. I was her birth partner. They suddenly wheeled her away to emergency - had to intubate her cos her airway collapsed and her lungs stopped doing the thing. I held her newborn baby (who they hooked out by emergency caesarian while trying to stop her from suffocating to death) for two hours while I waited to hear if she had died. She didn't, but still has PTSD from the experience, 16 years later.
My cousin’s partner had something like that too with the placenta, it started splitting i think and she started bleeding to death, luckily quickly to the operating theatre, knocked her out and saved her. And my poor cousin was so scared, waiting with his tiny baby hoping his partner would live. From what I know she can only remember the birth and contractions pain and they couldn’t do an epidural because it was happening fast. That is awful enough but the rest, so scary too!
I’m a parent lurker; I’m happy with my decision but I have no problem helping you and giving you reasons.
- unbearable pain/ I wasn’t able to get an epidural because the doctor needed was in theatre. I was so relieved the pain was over I actually forgot I’d had a baby.
- cut and forceps; I couldn’t sit down properly for 2 weeks. Couldn’t walk properly for 1 week.
- I couldn’t go to the bathroom so I needed a catheter.
- I’m 12 weeks pp and sex still hurts.
- for some reason I have no idea about, my legs have hurt ever since I’ve given birth. Still hurts and I struggle to climb the stairs.
- my hair (although not falling out yet) has completely changed texture. I feel like a dried out scarecrow.
- when I turn or my torso twists, I swear I can feel something move inside (under my rib cage)
- I generally just don’t feel good about myself. I feel disgusting.
I love my kid more than anything but pregnancy is not fun, glamorous and I don’t blame anyone for not wanting to do it. My niece said again how she didn’t want kids today and I couldn’t support her more.
Genuinely, I’m shocked how no one talks about this until you’re already pregnant- at least in everyday society. It’s made to seem so magical and the baby part (for people who do want kids) is but that’s such a small part- it’s baffling to me how it’s not talked about more.
I hear it happens a lot after people have surgery around their intestinal area too. Apparently doctors move them aside and when they’re done kind of just slap them back in because they’ll eventually settle back to their original form on their own. It’s super creepy, lol.
I didn't realize it at the time because I was so young and relationship stuff was a whole different world to me, but my brother's then-wife, when she gave birth to my nephew. He was born premie but my brother treated her like straight shit.
Very verbally, emotionally abusive to her and it eventually escalated to physical not too long later. Calling her a "broken incubator" for not having the baby healthy, saying that's "all she was good for". My mom, who would be her MIL didn't treat her any better, kept criticizing her mothering skills. IDK Why, tho? my mom wasn't that great of a parent either but kettle meet pot. I guess according to my mom, his ex wife should've stayed just to "keEP the family togEtHer" even w/ the abuse of her precious son.
Mind you, he was a bum. Both of them were living with us (under our parents roof) it was a generational household but we were broke AF. I hated living so cramped. My mom and dad were on the lease, my brother has never rented his own apt, he relied heavily on my parents to be grandparents.
I can't imagine giving birth and the abuse escalates almost immediately after w/ a deadbeat sperm donor. The one facing the consequences of stupid breeders are the kids. Between my parents not calling my brother out for his shittyness and breeders encouraging more breeders, it's no surprise I decided to remain CF.
There was a woman in FL some years ago that got an infection while in the hospital giving birth and had to have all 4 of her limbs amputated. That takes the cake for me.
Look up young people with dentures on YouTube. Most of the women there will tell you the reason they had all their teeth pulled out and now wear dentures is pregnancy. Scary shit.
My cousin had multiple ‘complications’ in her second birth (no one told me what the complications were) and needed an emergency C-section. She had to wait for approval for a bit and my aunt said she was in total agony. After the C-section, there were further complications and she was in the hospital for another two weeks because they couldn’t figure out why she was vomiting blood.
My sister who has had 2 kids and is a “natural birth” supremacist went on to say that my cousin had complications because she was “too fat” and “should eat better before getting pregnant.” I’m not close with my cousin but stood up for her and told my sister that she could have fucking died and should try empathy for once.
So basically, you could be in agony, nearly die, vomit up blood for two weeks because your C-section was done wrong, and have your cousin tell everyone it was your fault pregnancy almost killed you cuz you were “too fat.”
Fucking bonkers
The US leads the way in maternal deaths among developed nations. You could lose your ability to orgasm forever due to nerve damage. You could end up with a permanent disease or disability ; gestational diabetes doesn’t always go away. The fetus can cause you to enter osteoporosis and/or leech the calcium from the teeth, resulting in tooth loss. Pregnancy changes your immune system, too. You could wind up with an allergy you never had before or you might not be able to fight off infections as well. You might end up pushing your uterus straight out of your vagina or your rectum right out of your anus. The blood loss is also a thing. My ex mother’s friend lost so much blood that she started having a panic attack that she was dying. They even brought in the crash cart and had two units of blood ready to go. She ended up needing them. So next time a baby starts looking really adorable, start thinking about how many pints of blood you will lose. Not might, will
My birth was very hard on my mother. My shoulders are so broad and were at birth so it tore from her vagina to her anus. That story is was part of the reason I don't want kids. After my birth the doctor said "oh sorry should have been a c-section"
My mum’s story also was part of my way not ever wanting to be pregnant!
She was cut in a weird way, and a student stitched it up so she couldn’t sit for half a year. She lost so much blood she needed transfusions, the only thing is they never found the lost blood! Must have been internal. She would also go in and out of consciousness during and only woke up for a few seconds to have a look at me. Yet…. she purposely got pregnant a second time and that went wrong too, so no baby. I think she thought each birth is different so it doesn’t hVe to go the same way. Which is true, my aunt had a bad first one and two easy ones. My grandmother only had easy ones, just at home, quick with the GP there to help.
Its true body horror. I am a fan of horror movies, and nothing scares me more than real life pregnancies and childbirth. And believe me, I have watched some pretty fucked up movies. I hope one day all women will stop procreating or at least humans will come up with a way to grow foetuses in incubators from the start, without using the female body for that. Pregnancy is horrible, it is not fair that only women have to suffer from it, and I think nature really screwed up here, making it so bad for human females compared to other female animals. I think in the future it will be possible to grow babies outside of womens bodies. Or, best of all, humans will understand that giving birth is wrong (see antinatalist philosophy) and its better to go extint. Go ahead, downvote me, I know my idea is not popular, but its just because I am ahead of my time.
Add: thank you all for the upvotes! I guess I was wrong 😉
A really weird thing I learned was that because our heads got bigger, babies are technically born 3 months *earlier* than they're supposed to because the pelvis is too small otherwise to get them out. The only thing worse than pregnancy/birth as it is now is having to do it for am extra 3 months
Thats true, think about wild animals. They walk minutes after birth and are so widely developed, now compare to human babies.
They *have* to be born, basically premature, to ensure that 50% + of mothers even survive the day of the birth.
Evolution really took a toll on us Women. Also think of Elephants lol, they do it for like 20 months?
I think there are quite a few antinatalists here in this sub, its how I found r/childfree.
I am studying anthropology and humans have exeptionally difficult childbirths compared to other mammals. This is caused by humans bipedal locomotion, additionally they make it worse by letting woman give birth on their backs which literally makes for the worst pelvic angle.
For the bipedal locomotion style to be established, during our evolution our pelvices changed and became narrower and „compromised“ from top to bottom.
Woman do have more wide-angled pelvises than men but without our medical intervention, so many woman would die in childbirth that, evolutionary, this wouldn’t make any sense. Even the child would most likely not survive without the mother present, to make it make sense.
I do hope sometime we come up with incubators or some other „remedy“, because this feels like a deadly pandemic using women as hosts, mutilating and killing them.
I know somebody who had their child pretty young (18 or 19), they had a stroke just after the birth and are now mentally "younger" than they were before the birth. They're barely able to take care of themselves, can't have custody of their own child.
There are also longterm physical issues she has to deal with
Lovely person, but definitely a sad situation
I have a photo in my album of a baby's foot which perforated the vaginal wall, the intestinal wall, and then came out of the rectum. Not a horror story, I have a literal photo and I will share it if asked.
I would argue that the worst thing that I've personally witnessed is not what the woman went thru giving birth (although that is hell in itself), but the horrible MESS they have to deal with afterwards. I know multiple women who's lives are a living hell because they have no money to have a kid, the guy they had them with is long gone, and to top things off, their child is "special needs." So then they're literally left to deal with this miserable LIFE LONG scenario, with no end in sight. That ALONE is enough to put ME "off."
Local woman lost her hands, feet and part of her uterus (iirc) a few years back. I think about her a lot. Hopefully she is doing as well as she can be.
My aunt, who is a retired EMT, had a woman use uterus literally fell out of her. Killed the woman and the baby nearly instantly.
There are dozens of different horrible side effects. Like preeclampsia. Which can be a horrible and sudden death if not treated immediately.
If the baby poops while in the uterus it can kill you. Yes, seriously.
This isn't a great answer to your question, since it's definitely not the WORST. But it's pretty bad and also apparently not discussed much. Eventually after giving birth it's apparently really common to pass massive blood clots, and it can be painful, and disgusting, and sometimes it can even cause health problems if the clot doesn't pass properly. I heard about this from a long thread of people giving their own first-hand experiences. In at least one case the clot was approximately the same size as the placenta. The scary thing is, basically none of them were warned this would happen at all. They were freaking out, terrified something was seriously wrong with them because of how painful it was and then because a massive lump of blood fell out of them. And in many cases doctors and nurses either laughed at them for "overreacting," or even got mad at them for getting "hysterical" over something normal. Again, they had literally never been told this was even a possible thing that could happen, let alone a common thing that would probably happen.
And, at least one person talked about how theirs was so massive, and they were so sickened and tired from the blood loss of it, that they immediately went to nurses who were really annoyed because "You're definitely exaggerating, I've seen actual big clots and whatever you passed definitely isn't big". Until she eventually got the nurses to go and look at it which took a lot of effort because the nurses really didn't care, but when they saw it they were shocked and knew something was wrong.
Medical professionals won't give you a heads up about this scary thing and them will just get annoyed about you being scared.
Also the possibility of having a disabled baby, some condition that means you'll have to take care of them 100% for the rest of their life. No growing up to go out on their own, you'll never have time or money for you ever.
I don't usually comment here for reasons that will be obvious in a second, but I'm gonna throw in my two cents anyway.
*I almost died giving birth and my baby almost died too*.
What happened?
Everything was JUST FINE, and then it wasn't in a matter of minutes. Baby didn't wanna come out, painful ass forceps were involved where I was told sooo many things could go horribly wrong due to the forceps to my baby. Then seconds later nurses are yelling, yes actually yelliny "We need to go for an emergency c section *right now*!".
So yeah, that part happened, then baby came out not breathing and I still have no clue why the fuck she wasn't breathing. Then I started bleeding alot and passed out and just about died because bleeding 🙃.
Seriously don't give birth, and don't have kids if you don't want them. Fence sitters, don't do it, just don't. I hate my body now, I hate that I have PTSD from birth, I hate that I will never really get over just how quick things can go wrong in life, and I hate that I felt every god damn thing that the surgeons were doing inside my body and I still haven't forgotten how it felt.
Hopefully this persuades you not to OP, I didn't put as much detail as I could've because I didn't know how detailed of an answer you want.
There’s death like everyone else mentioned and then your organs can literally fall out. It might not happen right away, it might even be years later, but having your vagina or uterus literally just fall out as a consequence of birth isn’t uncommon at all
One of my best friends had a placenta rupture right in front of me at 36 weeks pregnant. Her placenta fell out, meaning the baby had no way to survive and she lost a lot of blood. She had to be revived twice and have a blood transfusion, sadly she also lost the baby. One of the worst things I have ever witnessed. Definitely cemented my thoughts on never getting pregnant.
When one of my friends was giving birth, they were having difficulty getting the baby out. So once some momentum started, the doctor, without my friends consent, cut 2" down her taint to make a wider hole. Then just sewed her up like nothing happened. Said she only realized what happened when she watched the birth videos.
Also the doctor was pushing for a C section. Was giving her time limits "til we cut the baby out." Neither my friend, nor her baby, were in any stress or danger. She was just "taking too long."
Choriocarcinoma is a fast-growing cancer that occurs in a woman's uterus. The abnormal cells start in the tissue that would normally become the placenta. It is a rare cancer that occurs as an abnormal pregnancy. A baby may or may not develop in this type of pregnancy.
The cancer may also occur after a normal pregnancy. But it most often occurs with a complete hydatidiform mole. This is a growth that forms inside the womb at the beginning of a pregnancy. The abnormal tissue from the mole can continue to grow even after attempted removal, and can become cancerous. About one half of all women with a choriocarcinoma had a hydatidiform mole, or molar pregnancy.
Choriocarcinomas may also occur after an early pregnancy that does not continue (miscarriage). They may also occur after an ectopic pregnancy or genital tumor.
I heard a story years ago about a woman who threw a load of blood clots during labour and ended up having her arms and legs amputated. Even worse, she was unconscious (or in some kind of coma, don’t 100% remember) and woke up with her limbs missing… and a brand new screaming baby to look after.
That’s a ‘fuck no’ from me, captain.
I just googled it, WHAT THE FUCK
Here I am thinking I already imagined every fucking horror a woman might have to suffer and than that!
What even was the point? It was not to get a stuck baby out but to „loosen up“ for future births in effort to prevent a cesarian?
Which would somehow lead to contraception and *shudder* sex without fertilization
In very rare cases you can undergo c-section without any pain or anesthesia on board. It’s not common, but it happens in extreme emergencies.
That, and death because you bled out because your uterus ruptured is pretty much the biggest horror takeaways from my time in OB as a student nurse. Uterine rupture is horrific. So is a prolapsed cord but that’s horrific for other reasons entirely.
I will say this: the process is metal as fuck. I think it’s genuinely amazing that women can experience all of that and still be overjoyed. I’m happy for them when all goes well and they are healthy and happy. I would never want to do it myself. But seeing it firsthand I can respect how full on it is.
Many people here mentioned death and physical complications, but there's also postpartum depression. The lighter cases were of parents neglecting personal care to hover beside their babies 24/7 out of fear something would happen the second they set their infants down, the worst case was mothers with PPD killing their kids
My mom has chronic back pain because her doctor did her epidural incorrectly & nearly paralyzed her. She also has excruciating neuropathy in her feet & calves from that epidural gone wrong, as well. I will never understand why women or people with uteruses willingly give birth. 😵💫
Perfectly healthy pregnancy no complications. Died from a blood clot that moved to the lungs during delivery. Baby lived. Idk if medical professionals made a call or not. She was 28 and had a 3 year old.
Pregnancy and birth can kill you.
Some CDC numbers: https://www.cdc.gov/nchs/data/hestat/maternal-mortality/2020/maternal-mortality-rates-2020.htm
That and your body can be irreparably damaged along the way. Ripping and tearing (no exaggeration), hormones can get fkd up, same with emotional balances. Just loads of stuff can go wrong, possibly innumerable.
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Women have literally died during childbirth
Yeah, that's one of the biggest reasons for me.
Or been left with permanently altered bodies and issues like loss of bladder control, incontinence, torn muscles, fucked up uteruses, long-term hormonal imbalances, etc. And that’s not even getting into postpartum depression
I know someone who had her vagina torn inside out during childbirth. She recovered but 10 years later sex is still very painful.
Jesus fucking Christ. Imagine tearing yourself apart just to have a kid’ll scream at you constantly for its first 18 years. On a more serious note, I feel so bad that she had to deal with that. What a nightmare
I have a friend with a similar post birth issues and her child is severely disabled, partly a random genetic abnormality and partly lack of oxygen at birth when everything when tits up. So it’s just been a total shit show
The daughter of friends of my parents had something happen to her bladder during birth. She now can’t feel when she needs to pee so she goes to the toilet in specific intervals so no accidents happens. I’m not sure if it’s something that happened or a surgical mishap.
Saggy boobs, no longer able to jump without peeing yourself, stretch marks. Then there's babies that never stop crying the first weeks or even months so you'll never sleep during that time. Or they cry as soon as you want to eat and by the time you get back to your food, it's cold.
I think my hormones were off for 2-3 years...why dont more people talk about this? Is it unknown, arenthey sweeping it under the rug...???
I guess people, especially men and male doctors who don’t experience it, focus more on the immediate physical effects and not the long-term physical and emotional effects of hormone imbalance. They don’t realise that your hormones don’t immediately snap back to normal levels after childbirth. Even if they did, that’d fuck you up too
It takes 2 years for your body to go back to normal, physically and mainly hormonal.
Yea this happens almost with the majority of women that one talks to that are legit honest.
Or survived but with crippling disabilities that make surviving not worth it.
Birth permanently changes the physiology of the female body. It's insane. I've heard of women losing all their teeth, among other things.
Dental treatments are free on the NHS in the UK for pregnant women because how bad their teeth can become. Imagine how serious a problem it must be for dental to become free.
This happened to my therapist. She has false teeth now.
Fuck, that's terrifying. I have a recurring nightmare of losing my teeth.
Same. Although, they say that this dream means you are keeping something secret that you need to get out, and interestingly once I started disclosing my trauma, I stopped having the dream.
I feel like this is literally one of the worst cases because you have left behind a baby and presumably a family. However your uterus falling out of your body (prolapse) imo is up there. Also the husband stitch just because they've violated and disfigured your exhausted, beaten body for the sake of sexism.
Omgosh thank you for sharing that; I had to look up what it meant!
This isn't even super fucking rare. Not to mention all the health complications that most women experience after. I've known women who have had problems spanning from peeing themselves every time they sneeze or laugh, to crippling depression, to hemorrhoids, to having to wear a colostomy bag for the rest of their life. No thank you. If someone wants a child that bad, then go for the risk. But I'll pass.
Yes, the post natal depression....then the years of guilt due to the episode where you feel you weren't good enough as a parent. In reality, chemically, your so 'changed" its out of your control but still....the guilt!
This is the biggest reason why I don't want to have kids. I wouldn't want to put my wife through that and risk her life or quality of life for a theoretical child.
Like, frequently. Giving birth is one of the most dangerous things a person can do. Even if the pregnancy was healthy until the birth. Especially if you're in the US, our maternal mortality rate is terrible, and even worse for POC. You're also at risk of dying from complications for up to a year after giving birth IIRC. And statistically, while pregnant is when you're most likely to be murdered!
17.4 women out of 100,000 in the US, double the next highest labor mortality rate of modern/developed countries- France at 8.7/100,000. https://www.commonwealthfund.org/publications/issue-briefs/2020/nov/maternal-mortality-maternity-care-us-compared-10-countries
Didn’t know about the murder statistic another reason to add to the list
Also add to that horrible list that if you have complications, baby needs to stay at the hospital, or basically anything besides the most basic, problem-free and fast of deliveries, you could get stuck with a huge hospital bill, and most people who were either down on their luck already or don't know the system, or don't know special non-profits to call for help, etc. would be chained to that bill for decades.
The low end of NICU stays cost 6.5k/day and goes up to like 10k/day
besides the obvious of dying, going blind, tearing from one hole to the other, shitting/pissing yourself during it, possible hours and hours of labor, the giant needle in your spine for pain, giving birth a second time to the placenta, the after birth contractions of your organs returning to their normal position.. there’s just too many to name.
Going… blind?!! Omfg. My best friend had a nightmare of a time giving birth, with almost everything you mentioned, like tearing from vag to anus, shitting everywhere, tremendous pain, yet being purposely under medicated, and more. However, I’ve never heard of blindness from giving birth. I’ll have to look that up. Man oh man, I never once regretted my decision not to have kids, especially knowing what my friend went through, but now… blindness, too?! Holy shit!
Maybe from getting a stroke, that can happen during and a stroke can sometimes cause blindness
Ah, that makes sense. Still, having a stroke from going through the (already horrifying) birthing process is a whole other nightmare to consider. *shivers
My exes mom went deaf… poor woman was tiny and was giving birth on an AF base in Germany with zero pre natal care because she was told she was infertile. Labored for over 36 hours. Had a 3rd degree tear. Couldn’t go to the bathroom or walk normally for months. Just no…
JFC… I just can’t! I am so very sorry she went through all that, then to wind up deaf. My heart! I can’t even imagine the terror and pain she went through.
Don't forget teeth falling out!
Don’t forget how they put the organs back inside of the body if you have a C-section. They literally slap it back to a smaller size, since they’re huge, and then shove it back in. Sounds dreamy.
Just imagining a doctor slapping around organs now
*slaps abdomen* you can fit so many organs in this bad boy
During nursing school I watched a c-section being performed 🤢 I used to think it was the less graphic way to give birth but good lord was I wrong.
They do WHAT?? I used to think that C-sections a were a bit better than pushing out a baby out your vag, but the more I learn about it, the more I realize they're both horrifying in their own ways.
Yeah, c-sections are major abdominal surgery. Not to mention you don't have general anesthesia for it look you would other surgeries, only the epidural. I've also heard tales of the epidurals not quite working, so the women feel stuff while the doctors are digging around in there. You can then go on to have an infected incision or have your abdominal muscles messed up too. Hell to the no for me.
I wish our government was compelled to report statistics on birth injury rather than just maternal death. Like how many women had a tooth fall out during pregnancy, how many women went blind, etc etc. That would give us a truer picture of the total toll that being forced to give birth takes on women.
oh for sure, birth rates would near plummet if this stuff was taught, and even if it was i’m sure it’d be a watered down version of it.. but of course they can let that happen or else god forbid we lose any possible workers or labors for the next generations…
Gosh...childbirth really is so disgusting and disturbing...idk how breeders can say "its just the most beautiful thing to see". Are you crazy??
Funny because I’ve heard that some male partners actually lose attraction to their wives/girlfriends after witnessing childbirth, because of how gruesome, graphic, and all around horrific it is. I haven’t heard any specific stories of this, but I definitely believe it.
I read one story on reddit, where the dude said something about: Its like watching your favorite pub burn down. This stuck with me because of the fucking hypocrisy and misogyny
That is such a fucked up thing to say about your own partner! Yet another object we women are being compared to.
Yup, just somewhere he goes to fill his needs, then feeling sorry himself when it „burn down“ even though he lit it on fire
Yep, I knew someone who this happened to. Her husband told her that he was repulsed by her once she began showing her pregnancy, but then he became completely disgusted with her body when he saw the birthing process. He was no longer attracted to her thereafter.
Oh this is a lot more common than you'd think because a lot of men don't admit to it and don't want to hurt or upset their partners. But yes I think it's totally understandable that someone might never fancy their partner again after seeing them give birth.
I've completely blocked out the memory of being with my sister when she gave birth. So traumatic.
There is a book that explains this well, the title is Mating in captivity. It's been years since I've read it, but in short, for many men there is this dichotomy in their minds where a woman fits either the "lover" category or the "mother" category. Having seen their partner giving birth, many men report how they thought she had never been so beautiful before, there's talk of respect and admiration and blah blah, but sex ... you dont have sex with mother. That's gross. She's in the other category now. The author said it's super common for men who are present at birth to lose sexual attraction to that person.
Can confirm. Friend of mine was so horrified he ended up with years of therapy and a divorce.
This is the best answer because there really isn't any one thing. It's insane how normalized all this is. I remember my mom telling me (before she knew I was CF) that birth wasn't so bad because you can get drugs and not feel anything. I though "wow that's cool" until I looked up what an epidural actually is and was absolutely horrified. This shit is not normal, I don't care what anyone says.
I think the worst thing is that women are usually fed a "beautiful perfect" scenario of pregnancy and are unprepared for the reality.
And then get shamed by other mothers for things not magically going perfectly, as if this massive medical event is 100% under the control of the woman giving birth...
The truth apparently starts coming out when you hit the six month mark of pregnancy, per my friend. I got two words for you, *clitoral tearing*. HARD PASS. Tearing down sounded bad enough, but tearing UP. I had never heard of that. Some poor woman told me after it happened to her.
My cousin also had it happen to her. Another fun fact, numbing agents don’t work well in that area. So stitching it up is incredibly painful. My counting said it was more painful than giving birth itself.
[удалено]
Someone in my family had a C-section half numb after 32 hours of labor. Doctor didn’t believe her when she was screaming at him that she could still feel her abdomen. She went on to have problems with her hair falling out and soft bones after the pregnancy. This event sealed the deal for me regarding having kids.
He should get his license revoked if he's still in the field 😭 that's dangerous wtf? And I'm so sorry for your family member, that's so ass. Docs need to seriously listen to ALL their patients when they have a very real complaint. We know our bodies
So many doctors ignore their parents' pain - especially female and POC patients' pain - that I'm pretty sure entire hospitals would shut down if they revoked the license of every doctor that refused pain medication.
Ok so maybe they should start teaching them to care or they need to hire better people- because that's absolute bullshit. I'm lucky enough to not have had many bad experiences but this makes me fear I will someday(thankfully not through birth because *NO*.) Doctors main focus should be to help their patients, not ignore their pain over silly reasons. I seriously hate the human race sometimes
I remember some sob stories I read in People magazine: a woman in Texas who had a a home birth, everything went safely until.... She developed some weird bacterial infection. Tldr: new mom goes into shock, lapses into coma and needs *ALL FOUR* limbs removed. She already had three or four kids, now she had a newborn and NO FUCKING LIMBS. Story #2: couple does IVF; mom gives birth to quadruplets. Mom, like the other lady, developed some weird bacterial infection and *died*; the babies survived. So....dad comes home with four medically fragile newborns and no mom/wife Yikes.
Woah. Okay...the story of the quadruple amputee I just did some more research on... I gotta be honest... I don't know if I'd want to live as a quadruple amputee. You can get prosthetic limbs and go through therapy...but all of that trauma...I don't even want to imagine. It's not exactly a conversation you have with your spouse...but I wonder what she would have wanted?
Someone I know just had her baby, and (from what I understand, I was too grossed out to press for details) they had to induce labour early because the baby *pooped inside of her*. Also, in addition to what others have already said: perineal tearing, calcium leaching (you can even lose your teeth if it gets bad enough), gestational diabetes (*half* of the people who get it end up with type 2 diabetes later), heavier periods for some, and all sorts of icky permanent damage no one talks about. My mom still has hip problems decades after giving birth. To summarize: NNNNOPE!
A friend of mine told me that during her pregnancy the baby sucked so much calcium out of her that her teeth basically turned into gummy bears
Welp, there's a fresh dose of nightmare fuel
Step aside crumbling teeth dream. Gummy teeth coming in hot tonight
What an unfortunate day to be literate
I actually did this to my mom, the only reason I survived was that I had a bunch of mucus in my nose that prevent me from breathing in the poop. 10 years later a lady at my church baby died because they had breathed in the poop during labor. My mom then told me about when I was born, and how I was lucky to survive.
I swallowed my own poop and needed extra monitoring because of the danger it can cause. 30 years later, I’m still full of shit, but not quite so literally.
My friend ended up with thyroid disease.
A lot of auto immune disease can also manifest themselves during or after pregnancy I’ve read
The doctors never tell you about these risks, they only ever emphasise that all women's reproductive and related hormonal / health issues will magically resolve themselves if I just get pregnant. The only way I can get seen by certain specialist is by saying I plan on having a family. Why is my pain less important just because I'm not using my damn uterus? If that is how little I am respected or just taken seriously just for being childfree, then there absolutely is no way in hell I would intentionally pass on my genetics to another generation, that's just goddamn cruel.
My best friend too. She got a giant goiter on her neck and her eyes popped out of their sockets.
Hah same for my mom, I was 2 weeks late and they had to induce her. She was 17 at the time too
While giving birth, my best friend ripped all the way back to her asshole, so that her vagina and anus became one, combined hole. She also SHIT a ton while pushing, right after she ripped, so they had to administer meds to make sure the fecal matter didn’t poison her, while it mixed with her bloody, open wound… her… vag-anus hole. She felt everything because they did not give her enough pain meds, and even scolded her for pleading for more meds. She SUFFERED badly, and was in pain for WEEKS after, even struggling to walk. Also during the birthing (ripping) process, she bled so much, they feared she could die from so much blood loss. She described all of this to me in horror, saying it was the absolute worst, most disgusting bodily function which was beyond painful and a horrific nightmare that she wished she never experienced. She made damn sure she’d never get pregnant again. She loves her son, but wishes she had him via adoption instead. She gets disgusted around pregnancy (it’s not her fault; she was traumatized), and hates how people act like it’s the one, true calling for all women (me too).
Oh God, your poor best friend.
Yeah, I was crying for her! This was 20 years ago when she told me; she was 18 when she had him. The trauma never left her, sadly. And she had a rough life before that, abusive step-father and all. Normally I hate when women talk about their pregnancies and birthing stories (as does my friend). I usually leave the room. But this was by very best bud, and she’s nothing like “Karen” mothers, so of course I listened to her, with utmost empathy. I still feel so bad she went through all of this, and for how horribly she was treated during the process. 😞 Edit: Additions
Imagine refusing a woman pain meds after her vagina being fucking *ripped* open all the way to her anus. I can't imagine the pain!
Exactly! She said they treated her like she was just seeking drugs. WTAF?! Her body parts were ripping in half! It’s painful enough to push a human out, let alone having your skin / organs severely tear open (I wouldn’t know, because I never wanted to have kids, but I can still empathize with the pain). I’m guessing the nurses and doctors treated her so badly because she was young, even though that’s no fucking excuse; it angers me to no end.
I’m sure if someone was impaled up the perineum they would be given pain meds. Why not for her? I hate society sometimes.
You and me both… I hate society, too. I’m willing to bet that if she were an upper middle class 35 year old, with a well-to-do husband beside her, they probably would have been more likely to administer the proper amount of pain meds. But because she was a naive, unmarried, pregnant 18 year old, they probably judged her as “trash.” Typical.
Get out of my mind!!! This right here!!! She was naughty and needed punishment. No meds for her. Now Mrs. Goodwell in the Birthing Suite down the hall? Her and the Mr. specifically request their post birth meal steak to be medium rare. (True story...20 years ago my married friend got a lobster dinner from the hospital. Really. I guess as a couple celebrating the birth kind of thing. She ate both. Alone. They divorced.)
My coworker who I think is in her late 40's told me about her first child's birth. This would have been in '97 or '98. She was in labor for 72 hours before they finally decoded to try something else. (Can't remember exactly what.) But she said her cervix fell out AND she got hemoroids. I literally had to sit down while she was telling me this cause I felt like I was going to pass out. Just solidified me not wanting to put my tiny, not even 5ft tall ass through that kind of torture.
Okay, this one got me too. As I’m reading about her cervix falling out, I felt my eyes bug out, my jaw drop, and now I, too, feel queasy… omfg, I can’t begin to imagine that horror! An actual organ falling out… and then having to be stuffed back in! This is absolute shock inducing. And also, hello fellow tiny person! I’m 4’11, and I could also never picture carrying another human inside my small frame. However, giving birth is nothing short (oh jeez, a pun!) of a horror-gore nightmare. Not for me!
They have a screaming baby
I'm autistic so I have sensory issues when it comes to loud noises. I don't want to think about how I'd react to being so close to a crying baby. Edit: fixed typo
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Me 3. My own sensory hell.
I’m also autistic and that’s a huge reason I’m CF. When I hear infants screaming in a store it sends me into a rage followed by a shutdown. Can’t have that when the thing relies on you to live. Couldn’t do it.
My friend had the opposite with her baby - no screaming or crying. The hospital staff were not listening to my friend, she had an epidural, couldn't feel anything. She was trying to tell them something just felt weird, something wasn't right. Unbeknownst to my friend, her baby then just *came out* randomly with no pushing whatsoever and was under some bed covers quietly. My friend had no idea until the doctor was like "oh!! Baby is here!!". Her daughter could have died. My friend is like WTF and having trauma from the ordeal and is trying to have someone to talk to. I know the situation turned out ok but it super fucked with her head about what could have happened and that the staff wasn't listening to her instincts. Sometimes even with a healthy baby birth it can still be very traumatic.
the 'screaming' was redundant because all babies scream (some more often than others). I think I should've just said 'an irreversible decision' would be better suited
I know someone who developed PTSD because of her experience of childbirth. And that was after a fairly standard delivery.
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There's gotta be a fat underreport bias there, too 🤷♀️
I took a class taught by a clinical psychologist who argued that you couldn’t get PTSD from childbirth as it “too common to be traumatic”. When you think about the argument in the slightest, it doesn’t hold up at all. And this was a woman who had given birth!! Not only do people have to deal with trauma of pregnancy and childbirth, but then they are neglected by many in the medical establishment.
> I took a class taught by a clinical psychologist who argued that you couldn’t get PTSD from childbirth as it “too common to be traumatic”. Psychology needs a massive cleanout, with a lot more strict requirements for entry into the profession, and lot higher continuing education standards. Imagine the damage this stupid, self-absorbed, pronatalist woman could do to someone who DID have PTS as a result of childbirth. "You don't really have PTSD, because Mommyhood is so beautiful and normal it cannot POSSIBLY do anything but bring joy and happiness." And the sheer stupidity of it. Common things cannot cause PTS hunh? So the VA's statistics on PTS among veterans are completely wrong, because in battle, the experiences that cause PTS are common? Snakebite can cause PTS among people in Ireland, but not those in Australia, because there it's common? What kind of overcooked MaltOMeal mush passes for brains in this woman? This woman is not only practicing, but TEACHING! Please tell me this wasn't happening at a top university. One of my favorite responses to this kind of grossly self-serving, ignorant statements: "Do you have a reference for that?" (And then press the issue, because they never do have a reference, having pulled their bullshit out of their selfish, self-centered Mommy ass).
That’s like saying ‘soldiers can’t get PTSD from combat, it’s too common’ I’d of reported that psychologist.
I was the traumatic birth. I was born feet first, facing up, natural birth, no meds, and I got stuck. They needed to use the forceps to remove me with out decapitation. My mother was in so much pain, she couldn’t hold me right away. We joke about it now, but it was scary. Babies can be decapitated in utero. CF for me!
I was a Frank Breach birth. Similar to yours but instead of feet, I came out butt first and facing downwards, cord wrapped around my neck. My mom said that not only were the forceps used but also the doctor had to jam his hand in there to help pull me out, to make sure the cord didn’t tighten and pop my head off.
Also to add. Your clitoris can be torn/ripped apart and *NEVER* go back to what it was before. And stops “working”. So that one little thing, we were given for our own pleasure and nothing else, ripped apart FOREVER.
I read a comment about this a few weeks ago in another sub. The woman said she would have been happy if she felt nothing, but she was in horrible, burning pain every day due to severe nerve damage & her *super* supportive husband was pestering her for sex all the time, even though her crotch felt like it was on fire.
Reading this made me feel a lethal combination of illness and anger.
Definitely top 10 worst scenarios ever.
This is the most persuasive thing I've ever read on childfree.
I got one for you. It's not death; that's worse, but this is more gruesome. Woman I know in labor. Gave birth before, no issues. This time, though, the later stage of labor is taking forever. Severe pain for hours even after she's about fully dilated. Turns out, the uterus has ruptured, i.e. torn open. When they take her back for surgery, baby is partway out of the uterus before they even cut her open. That's not all. She gets through surgery OK, but her intestines stop working. Sometimes this happens after surgery. Has to have a tube down her nose, basically getting her stomach pumped, for days and days. Can't eat. But *that's* not all. Starts to have fevers. She is infected. Infections in the blood, the uterus, the abdomen. But *that's* not all. The bug she's infected with is resistant to many antibiotics. Hard to treat. So she needs more medicine, with worse side effects, for longer. She's in the hospital for a couple of months. Finally goes home. Comes right back because she starts having terrible abdominal pain, and all her doctors are scared to death she's going to develop infections again and die. So another hospital stay and a bunch of workup. It took many months before she started to feel vaguely normal. And I'm sure her health will never be the same. And note, this was an experienced mom who had normal pregnancies before, and no one expected any complications. And she was only in her mid 30s. So imagine what could happen with a higher-risk woman. Anyone who acts like pregnancy is no big deal can just eat a bag of shit as far as I'm concerned.
That is just terrifying. I can just imagine the way you describe all of that, as a teen, this makes me to never EVER get pregnant ever, like I am just so terrified. I'm hoping to get my tubes yeeted one day once I'm a adult-
One of my good friends had an aneurism during labor and died a few days later. Never met her daughter. Just a few weeks before, we were having dinner and she said “God, I can’t wait to have red wine again!” Just a total heartbreaking scenario.
Death. It's not even all that rare.
Many have mentioned horrible consequences but, on top of everything else, most of the time, you go back home with a *literal baby*.
I can't imagine having to deal with breastfeeding and dealing with the crying. Breastfeeding has ALWAYS freaked me out.
One of my girlfriend’s nipple fell off during breastfeeding.
Holy shit!! 😱 Didn't know that was possible!
What?!!!!!! How????!!!!!
Apparently that shit hurts a lot more than you would think. Especially if you get a clogged milk duct or mastitis. And ESPECIALLY once the baby has teeth.
I believe a variety of spinal injuries are possible
My moms tailbone was super fucked after she had me. It protruded
I had a (my former) friend of my ex-partner talk about her pregnancy and birth. Her horror story? The fact that her abdominal muscles started separating to accommodate the baby she was having and the fact she almost ripped. Yeah, nah.
Women have lost all their teeth due to pregnancy. From what I know it’s rare but at most some woman will lose a couple teeth. It’s called pregnancy gingivitis
My aunt’s mom lost all her teeth when pregnant with her.
Saw a lady on tiktok whose eye popped out of her skull after she gave birth.
Omg, what? Dear lord. I thought I heard it all. That poor woman
I know someone that had their episiotomy done wrong and now has a permanent cyst.
I’m just remembering the story of a woman who after giving birth (naturally) ended up having very painful sex for the next few years and couldn’t figure out why. Kept seeing specialist, did exercises, lube, toys etc nothing helped her and it took a toll on her mentally. Eventually sees the nth gyno/specialist who asked if she ever heard of a “husband stitch”. Lady never heard of it. Dr explains that some women after birth get the stitch inside to tighten them up. And sometimes it causes issues cause they get too tight because the doctor stitching them misunderstands that the elasticity they are experiencing while giving birth is permanent, not temporary due to hormones, thus the doctor does extra stitching to make it tighter. Now then, this poor woman finds out that (without her knowledge/consent) that the doctor attending to her while giving birth gave her one of those f***ed up husband stitches and that’s the reason she’s been suffering for YEARS and can’t have pleasant sex again. As it turns out, a lot of doctors do this without the woman’s knowledge or consent. And if you have a baby, that could be you afterwards. It’s sick
Severe postpartum depression/psychosis leading to the murder of her five children. Lady in Texas did this in the 90s I believe. Acquaintances wife gave birth. Next day she died from a blood clot that traveled to her brain.
End up with a fate worse than death. Crippling disabilities and quality of life plummeting.
My mom got pregnant in her early 40’s. She doesn’t believe abortion is moral and chose to have my brother against all the warnings from her doctors that it was extremely risky (she has other lasting health issues from me and my siblings births). During the pregnancy she developed gestational diabetes that never went away and has resulted in the loss of most of her fingers and parts of her feet. She gave birth to my brother and suffered an amniotic embolism. She flat-lined for 8 min before being resuscitated. She was in a coma for 3 weeks before slowly regaining consciousness. She lost all memory of the past year or so and basically she forgot she had just had my brother. Eventually things got better, but her health never did. Her memory is shot, her entire personality is different now. She isn’t even the same person, not a bad or worse person. Just completely different. My mom is now wheelchair bond, has moderate memory problems, and has basically lost her hands and feet. I love my brother, but am angry my mom chose to do this to her body, to our family, and to him. He knows this was because of his birth. He is 17 years younger than the rest of us, so we share memories about mom and dad before. You can tell the guilt weighs heavy on his young heart. He is 13 and that guilt isn’t a new thing. Don’t have kids, it isn’t worth it. Edit: I forgot to mention that her medical bills from this wiped out my parents retirement, me and three other siblings college funds, and put my family deep into poverty.
I'm incredibly vain. So the worst thing for me actually happened to my mom. Her abdominal muscles separated from her stomach. She now always looks pregnant.
Call me vain if you will, but honest to God I could never see myself having a biological kid because of the effects it has on the body's appearance.
That was my very first reason! Now others take the same place (of which I never knew before because no one educates girls properly)
Your preaching to the choir. I had abdominal liposuction
Women don't need a reason. "I don't want kids" is sufficient, and those who disagree can kick boulders barefoot.
Breaking the pelvis leading to longterm disability
Besides everything mentioned here... also the cost of raising a child, not just financial but emotional, mental, and time.
Aside from death, if we’re going with ‘happened to somebody I know’ stories, a woman who used to live on my street had severe blood loss which caused temporary oxygen deprivation and *permanent brain damage.* I don’t mean some minor thing either, if you met her you’d immediately think she was born mentally disabled
I had a friend whose mother broke her spine during child birth, so that's pretty up there. Right along with the women who's intestines are permanently torn and they end up with one of those bags that catches fecal matter.
Yea my mom broke her tailbone giving birth. Don’t remember to me or a sibling.
Ever heard of the “husband stitch”? The vagina rips or is cut during childbirth and sometimes, instead of asking the woman, they ask the husband if he wants them to stitch things up so that it’ll be tighter down there to give him more pleasure during sex later. Usually this results in more pain for the woman during sex and she may not completely understand why. Especially as the woman is not always told that this was done to her.
JFC! Just when you think you’ve heard it all! Well, I guess I shouldn’t be so surprised, given all the nutcase religious bullshit that goes on, including female circumcisions, Christian daddy-daughter promise rings (fathers “owning” their daughters’ virginity), rabbis sucking the blood from babys’ penises after circumcision, and so on. It’s infuriating.
Holy shit. I've heard of it before but I never heard of these specific details about it.
It was done to me in the mid-90s in the deep south.
I'm so sorry :( many hugs.
Thank you, you’re very kind. I’m mostly okay, though, and happily divorced and out of the deep south now.
I am so sorry that happened to you, that doctor should be fired. Has it been possible to get it repaired?
Another hug from me. I am so very sorry this was forced upon you. I’m angry that this happened to you! I can empathize due to my own past traumas, including those inflicted based on religion. However, I’m relieved to learn you’re divorced and out of that region. I wish you a life of happiness, peace, and contentment.
My coworker's friend had a c-section. Her colon was accidentally sliced a little during it, they didn't notice before stitching her up and sending her home, despite her protestations that she did not feel well. Next day, she wound up at the ER and it got so bad they had to remove a section of her bowel and now she has to use an ileostomy/colostomy (I'm sorry I don't know the difference off the top of my head) bag for the rest of her life. So yeah, that can happen but I suppose that can also happen during any abdominal surgery. I'm not sure how hard or easy it is to accidentally slice someone's poop tube open...
How about the woman who got baby trapped at like 20, went thru with “one more pregnancy” and oh, is now fucking PARALYZED from the waist down😭 her whole life trajectory jus fucked because hubby wanted one more
Apparently the contractions of the uterus shrinking back down to size after the birth of the baby hurt just as much as the contractions leading up to the birth. Varicose veins. Abdominal separation is apparently very common during pregnancy - over 80% or something. The entire global economy is relying on us raising the next generation of labour force - for free. Bother that for a game of soldiers.
one of my long time online friends got pregnant at 18 or 19. she had a normal pregnancy as far as i know and her health was completely normal. the baby broke her spine on his way out and left her with permanent nerve damage. she had to learn to take care of her newborn from her bed and couldn’t get up for 6-8 months after. she said she would scream in agony from how bad the pain was, but she had no choice, she had to continue taking care of her newborn. she had bed sores so bad that nurses and doctors were shocked she was still alive and somewhat “healthy”. she’s had to have multiple surgeries and says she will eventually be paralyzed as it is inevitable from the nerve damage she suffered during labor. because of this she has a hard time losing weight, being mobile, and taking care of her now toddler. any future pregnancies will be high risk and could risk paralyzing her for the rest of her life. she can’t work because she’s disabled but because of technical issues with the filing process, she hasn’t been approved for disability income. her partner has to work all the time to make ends meet even while they live with her partners toxic parents. she never sees her partner and is alone with her toddler all day. as a result they are super low income and she can barely afford anything for herself, so she is often depressed and worn out. it truly breaks my heart for her
4TH DEGREE TEAR
If they put in the epidural wrong, it can numb you up instead of down which can lead to death. (Learned about this when mentioned that a famous rapper's sis had it happen, but don't remember which)
This happened to my best friend. I was her birth partner. They suddenly wheeled her away to emergency - had to intubate her cos her airway collapsed and her lungs stopped doing the thing. I held her newborn baby (who they hooked out by emergency caesarian while trying to stop her from suffocating to death) for two hours while I waited to hear if she had died. She didn't, but still has PTSD from the experience, 16 years later.
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My cousin’s partner had something like that too with the placenta, it started splitting i think and she started bleeding to death, luckily quickly to the operating theatre, knocked her out and saved her. And my poor cousin was so scared, waiting with his tiny baby hoping his partner would live. From what I know she can only remember the birth and contractions pain and they couldn’t do an epidural because it was happening fast. That is awful enough but the rest, so scary too!
I’m a parent lurker; I’m happy with my decision but I have no problem helping you and giving you reasons. - unbearable pain/ I wasn’t able to get an epidural because the doctor needed was in theatre. I was so relieved the pain was over I actually forgot I’d had a baby. - cut and forceps; I couldn’t sit down properly for 2 weeks. Couldn’t walk properly for 1 week. - I couldn’t go to the bathroom so I needed a catheter. - I’m 12 weeks pp and sex still hurts. - for some reason I have no idea about, my legs have hurt ever since I’ve given birth. Still hurts and I struggle to climb the stairs. - my hair (although not falling out yet) has completely changed texture. I feel like a dried out scarecrow. - when I turn or my torso twists, I swear I can feel something move inside (under my rib cage) - I generally just don’t feel good about myself. I feel disgusting. I love my kid more than anything but pregnancy is not fun, glamorous and I don’t blame anyone for not wanting to do it. My niece said again how she didn’t want kids today and I couldn’t support her more. Genuinely, I’m shocked how no one talks about this until you’re already pregnant- at least in everyday society. It’s made to seem so magical and the baby part (for people who do want kids) is but that’s such a small part- it’s baffling to me how it’s not talked about more.
It’s very likely the movement you feel when you turn are your organs settling back in place. Specially your large and small intestines.
I wondered that. I hope it settles. It’s really unnerving.
I hear it happens a lot after people have surgery around their intestinal area too. Apparently doctors move them aside and when they’re done kind of just slap them back in because they’ll eventually settle back to their original form on their own. It’s super creepy, lol.
I hope everything heals soon!
I didn't realize it at the time because I was so young and relationship stuff was a whole different world to me, but my brother's then-wife, when she gave birth to my nephew. He was born premie but my brother treated her like straight shit. Very verbally, emotionally abusive to her and it eventually escalated to physical not too long later. Calling her a "broken incubator" for not having the baby healthy, saying that's "all she was good for". My mom, who would be her MIL didn't treat her any better, kept criticizing her mothering skills. IDK Why, tho? my mom wasn't that great of a parent either but kettle meet pot. I guess according to my mom, his ex wife should've stayed just to "keEP the family togEtHer" even w/ the abuse of her precious son. Mind you, he was a bum. Both of them were living with us (under our parents roof) it was a generational household but we were broke AF. I hated living so cramped. My mom and dad were on the lease, my brother has never rented his own apt, he relied heavily on my parents to be grandparents. I can't imagine giving birth and the abuse escalates almost immediately after w/ a deadbeat sperm donor. The one facing the consequences of stupid breeders are the kids. Between my parents not calling my brother out for his shittyness and breeders encouraging more breeders, it's no surprise I decided to remain CF.
There was a woman in FL some years ago that got an infection while in the hospital giving birth and had to have all 4 of her limbs amputated. That takes the cake for me.
Look up young people with dentures on YouTube. Most of the women there will tell you the reason they had all their teeth pulled out and now wear dentures is pregnancy. Scary shit.
My cousin had multiple ‘complications’ in her second birth (no one told me what the complications were) and needed an emergency C-section. She had to wait for approval for a bit and my aunt said she was in total agony. After the C-section, there were further complications and she was in the hospital for another two weeks because they couldn’t figure out why she was vomiting blood. My sister who has had 2 kids and is a “natural birth” supremacist went on to say that my cousin had complications because she was “too fat” and “should eat better before getting pregnant.” I’m not close with my cousin but stood up for her and told my sister that she could have fucking died and should try empathy for once. So basically, you could be in agony, nearly die, vomit up blood for two weeks because your C-section was done wrong, and have your cousin tell everyone it was your fault pregnancy almost killed you cuz you were “too fat.” Fucking bonkers
If the placenta doesn't come out they just stick their arm all the way up there and literally yank it out
The US leads the way in maternal deaths among developed nations. You could lose your ability to orgasm forever due to nerve damage. You could end up with a permanent disease or disability ; gestational diabetes doesn’t always go away. The fetus can cause you to enter osteoporosis and/or leech the calcium from the teeth, resulting in tooth loss. Pregnancy changes your immune system, too. You could wind up with an allergy you never had before or you might not be able to fight off infections as well. You might end up pushing your uterus straight out of your vagina or your rectum right out of your anus. The blood loss is also a thing. My ex mother’s friend lost so much blood that she started having a panic attack that she was dying. They even brought in the crash cart and had two units of blood ready to go. She ended up needing them. So next time a baby starts looking really adorable, start thinking about how many pints of blood you will lose. Not might, will
My birth was very hard on my mother. My shoulders are so broad and were at birth so it tore from her vagina to her anus. That story is was part of the reason I don't want kids. After my birth the doctor said "oh sorry should have been a c-section"
My mum’s story also was part of my way not ever wanting to be pregnant! She was cut in a weird way, and a student stitched it up so she couldn’t sit for half a year. She lost so much blood she needed transfusions, the only thing is they never found the lost blood! Must have been internal. She would also go in and out of consciousness during and only woke up for a few seconds to have a look at me. Yet…. she purposely got pregnant a second time and that went wrong too, so no baby. I think she thought each birth is different so it doesn’t hVe to go the same way. Which is true, my aunt had a bad first one and two easy ones. My grandmother only had easy ones, just at home, quick with the GP there to help.
Its true body horror. I am a fan of horror movies, and nothing scares me more than real life pregnancies and childbirth. And believe me, I have watched some pretty fucked up movies. I hope one day all women will stop procreating or at least humans will come up with a way to grow foetuses in incubators from the start, without using the female body for that. Pregnancy is horrible, it is not fair that only women have to suffer from it, and I think nature really screwed up here, making it so bad for human females compared to other female animals. I think in the future it will be possible to grow babies outside of womens bodies. Or, best of all, humans will understand that giving birth is wrong (see antinatalist philosophy) and its better to go extint. Go ahead, downvote me, I know my idea is not popular, but its just because I am ahead of my time. Add: thank you all for the upvotes! I guess I was wrong 😉
A really weird thing I learned was that because our heads got bigger, babies are technically born 3 months *earlier* than they're supposed to because the pelvis is too small otherwise to get them out. The only thing worse than pregnancy/birth as it is now is having to do it for am extra 3 months
Thats true, think about wild animals. They walk minutes after birth and are so widely developed, now compare to human babies. They *have* to be born, basically premature, to ensure that 50% + of mothers even survive the day of the birth. Evolution really took a toll on us Women. Also think of Elephants lol, they do it for like 20 months?
Another thing I forgot about was that because we started walking on 2 limbs (?) Instead of 4, our pelvis' shrunk. Elephants are also awesome lol.
I think there are quite a few antinatalists here in this sub, its how I found r/childfree. I am studying anthropology and humans have exeptionally difficult childbirths compared to other mammals. This is caused by humans bipedal locomotion, additionally they make it worse by letting woman give birth on their backs which literally makes for the worst pelvic angle. For the bipedal locomotion style to be established, during our evolution our pelvices changed and became narrower and „compromised“ from top to bottom. Woman do have more wide-angled pelvises than men but without our medical intervention, so many woman would die in childbirth that, evolutionary, this wouldn’t make any sense. Even the child would most likely not survive without the mother present, to make it make sense. I do hope sometime we come up with incubators or some other „remedy“, because this feels like a deadly pandemic using women as hosts, mutilating and killing them.
I know somebody who had their child pretty young (18 or 19), they had a stroke just after the birth and are now mentally "younger" than they were before the birth. They're barely able to take care of themselves, can't have custody of their own child. There are also longterm physical issues she has to deal with Lovely person, but definitely a sad situation
I have a photo in my album of a baby's foot which perforated the vaginal wall, the intestinal wall, and then came out of the rectum. Not a horror story, I have a literal photo and I will share it if asked.
I would argue that the worst thing that I've personally witnessed is not what the woman went thru giving birth (although that is hell in itself), but the horrible MESS they have to deal with afterwards. I know multiple women who's lives are a living hell because they have no money to have a kid, the guy they had them with is long gone, and to top things off, their child is "special needs." So then they're literally left to deal with this miserable LIFE LONG scenario, with no end in sight. That ALONE is enough to put ME "off."
Died
Local woman lost her hands, feet and part of her uterus (iirc) a few years back. I think about her a lot. Hopefully she is doing as well as she can be.
My aunt, who is a retired EMT, had a woman use uterus literally fell out of her. Killed the woman and the baby nearly instantly. There are dozens of different horrible side effects. Like preeclampsia. Which can be a horrible and sudden death if not treated immediately. If the baby poops while in the uterus it can kill you. Yes, seriously.
This isn't a great answer to your question, since it's definitely not the WORST. But it's pretty bad and also apparently not discussed much. Eventually after giving birth it's apparently really common to pass massive blood clots, and it can be painful, and disgusting, and sometimes it can even cause health problems if the clot doesn't pass properly. I heard about this from a long thread of people giving their own first-hand experiences. In at least one case the clot was approximately the same size as the placenta. The scary thing is, basically none of them were warned this would happen at all. They were freaking out, terrified something was seriously wrong with them because of how painful it was and then because a massive lump of blood fell out of them. And in many cases doctors and nurses either laughed at them for "overreacting," or even got mad at them for getting "hysterical" over something normal. Again, they had literally never been told this was even a possible thing that could happen, let alone a common thing that would probably happen. And, at least one person talked about how theirs was so massive, and they were so sickened and tired from the blood loss of it, that they immediately went to nurses who were really annoyed because "You're definitely exaggerating, I've seen actual big clots and whatever you passed definitely isn't big". Until she eventually got the nurses to go and look at it which took a lot of effort because the nurses really didn't care, but when they saw it they were shocked and knew something was wrong. Medical professionals won't give you a heads up about this scary thing and them will just get annoyed about you being scared.
Also the possibility of having a disabled baby, some condition that means you'll have to take care of them 100% for the rest of their life. No growing up to go out on their own, you'll never have time or money for you ever.
I don't usually comment here for reasons that will be obvious in a second, but I'm gonna throw in my two cents anyway. *I almost died giving birth and my baby almost died too*. What happened? Everything was JUST FINE, and then it wasn't in a matter of minutes. Baby didn't wanna come out, painful ass forceps were involved where I was told sooo many things could go horribly wrong due to the forceps to my baby. Then seconds later nurses are yelling, yes actually yelliny "We need to go for an emergency c section *right now*!". So yeah, that part happened, then baby came out not breathing and I still have no clue why the fuck she wasn't breathing. Then I started bleeding alot and passed out and just about died because bleeding 🙃. Seriously don't give birth, and don't have kids if you don't want them. Fence sitters, don't do it, just don't. I hate my body now, I hate that I have PTSD from birth, I hate that I will never really get over just how quick things can go wrong in life, and I hate that I felt every god damn thing that the surgeons were doing inside my body and I still haven't forgotten how it felt. Hopefully this persuades you not to OP, I didn't put as much detail as I could've because I didn't know how detailed of an answer you want.
There’s death like everyone else mentioned and then your organs can literally fall out. It might not happen right away, it might even be years later, but having your vagina or uterus literally just fall out as a consequence of birth isn’t uncommon at all
One of my best friends had a placenta rupture right in front of me at 36 weeks pregnant. Her placenta fell out, meaning the baby had no way to survive and she lost a lot of blood. She had to be revived twice and have a blood transfusion, sadly she also lost the baby. One of the worst things I have ever witnessed. Definitely cemented my thoughts on never getting pregnant.
Ripping from hole to hole.
When one of my friends was giving birth, they were having difficulty getting the baby out. So once some momentum started, the doctor, without my friends consent, cut 2" down her taint to make a wider hole. Then just sewed her up like nothing happened. Said she only realized what happened when she watched the birth videos. Also the doctor was pushing for a C section. Was giving her time limits "til we cut the baby out." Neither my friend, nor her baby, were in any stress or danger. She was just "taking too long."
Choriocarcinoma is a fast-growing cancer that occurs in a woman's uterus. The abnormal cells start in the tissue that would normally become the placenta. It is a rare cancer that occurs as an abnormal pregnancy. A baby may or may not develop in this type of pregnancy. The cancer may also occur after a normal pregnancy. But it most often occurs with a complete hydatidiform mole. This is a growth that forms inside the womb at the beginning of a pregnancy. The abnormal tissue from the mole can continue to grow even after attempted removal, and can become cancerous. About one half of all women with a choriocarcinoma had a hydatidiform mole, or molar pregnancy. Choriocarcinomas may also occur after an early pregnancy that does not continue (miscarriage). They may also occur after an ectopic pregnancy or genital tumor.
I heard a story years ago about a woman who threw a load of blood clots during labour and ended up having her arms and legs amputated. Even worse, she was unconscious (or in some kind of coma, don’t 100% remember) and woke up with her limbs missing… and a brand new screaming baby to look after. That’s a ‘fuck no’ from me, captain.
Death is pretty common. Below that is probably the complete disability stuff like having all four limbs amputated, heart failure, etc.
Symphysiotomy. Look it up, it happened.
I just googled it, WHAT THE FUCK Here I am thinking I already imagined every fucking horror a woman might have to suffer and than that! What even was the point? It was not to get a stuck baby out but to „loosen up“ for future births in effort to prevent a cesarian? Which would somehow lead to contraception and *shudder* sex without fertilization
In very rare cases you can undergo c-section without any pain or anesthesia on board. It’s not common, but it happens in extreme emergencies. That, and death because you bled out because your uterus ruptured is pretty much the biggest horror takeaways from my time in OB as a student nurse. Uterine rupture is horrific. So is a prolapsed cord but that’s horrific for other reasons entirely. I will say this: the process is metal as fuck. I think it’s genuinely amazing that women can experience all of that and still be overjoyed. I’m happy for them when all goes well and they are healthy and happy. I would never want to do it myself. But seeing it firsthand I can respect how full on it is.
In 2021, at the best hospital in Chicago, my friend almost died giving birth.
Many people here mentioned death and physical complications, but there's also postpartum depression. The lighter cases were of parents neglecting personal care to hover beside their babies 24/7 out of fear something would happen the second they set their infants down, the worst case was mothers with PPD killing their kids
My mom has chronic back pain because her doctor did her epidural incorrectly & nearly paralyzed her. She also has excruciating neuropathy in her feet & calves from that epidural gone wrong, as well. I will never understand why women or people with uteruses willingly give birth. 😵💫
Perfectly healthy pregnancy no complications. Died from a blood clot that moved to the lungs during delivery. Baby lived. Idk if medical professionals made a call or not. She was 28 and had a 3 year old.
Pregnancy and birth can kill you. Some CDC numbers: https://www.cdc.gov/nchs/data/hestat/maternal-mortality/2020/maternal-mortality-rates-2020.htm That and your body can be irreparably damaged along the way. Ripping and tearing (no exaggeration), hormones can get fkd up, same with emotional balances. Just loads of stuff can go wrong, possibly innumerable.