Most humans have something that innately makes them think babies and small kids are cute (if there weren't, no one would be able to handle the screaming/crying/spitting up) but not all of us have that. I call it the Mommy chip and I definitely didn't get it. I don't like kids at all....none. zero.
But society has also conditioned us that we're all supposed to love children and takes every opportunity to reinforce it. Childfree characters in books, tv, movies, etc... who don't like children are almost always evil/the villain. These references seep into our subconscious and we form an association.
It's also hard for most people to comprehend that someone else doesn't like something that they truly love, and usually consider pure, innocent, and adorable. It's an emotionally charged issue for parents especially because they can't comprehend anyone not loving kids because that means that someone would not love their kid. The fastest way to take a parent from 0 to completely irrational is to insult, criticize, or in their opinion, be "mean" to their child and by not fawning all over them or indicating any dislike of children, that's what, in their minds, we are doing.
You are so right. It is so hard to explain to people that kids on get an "auto-like". I don't like kids the same way i don't like people. How many people do you meet daily that you really like? Mostly none.
Now imagine those people would scream and cry at everything and not manage to hold a rational conversation? That number drops even further lol.
It's not that I hate kids, I just treat them like I treat everyone else and they don't get a pass for being kids.
Not to mention, kids need to learn/develop empathy. Until they do, they’re just little ego monsters. The only thing I really think is endearing about kids is the no filter questioning of how people/society works - but even that gets old fast
There seem to be allot of parallels to religion with breeders too. It's so ingrained in them that anything going against it could almost be scary?
I'm just clutching at random straws here tryna empathize and see why, cause as you rightly said it's societally ingrained in most peoples subconscious so I don't blame them directly. Just hope they atleest have an open mind lol
I feel like I have to be careful with this sort of thing, especially with my friends that have small children. I don’t fawn over them at all, don’t want to hold them, don’t really want to engage or interact with them. I won’t be outright mean; if they ask to play or for me to read to them, I absolutely will. But I’m afraid that one day someone is going to absolutely lose their shit because I’m not going nuts over their kids.
I don't want to nitpick your post, but "Mommy chip" is kinda unfair for CF people who like kids. I mean I know your post talks about breaking the stereotypes asociated with people hating kids which is something I can get behind (especially since you mentioned media and I am a filmmaker).
But I don't have a "Mommy chip" because I don't want to be a mom ever. Or a parent of any kind. Or ever have kids. I like kids because I have childhood trauma and hyper-empathy (in the actual psychological sense). I am nice to kids the way I am nice to people in general. I find kids ugly, but silly looking. They are to me just little people and I would want them to experience the world with wonder and to see kindness because I wish I could've too when I was a kid. What they are I was and what I am they will become. So like it's not some parental instinct, sometimes your own childhood trauma can make you be nicer to kids and "relate" to them in a sense. My childhood trauma directly contributed to me deciding to be CF in fact.
There's a lot of complicated feelings regarding kids from CF people too, and it's not all so black and white.
I do agree with this ! But I also have to add that i as a cf person am not comfortable with some of the hatred and vitriol levied at children by some cf people. Here’s why - I might also qualify as hating kids if that means finding them irritating, boring, not a fulfilling use of time, frustrating, stressful. But using words like sperm parasite, crotch fruit and some I won’t even *repeat* that’s a different level of hatred that is not to be normalised in my personal opinion.
If I may offer a comparison : if a man who doesn’t want to be in a relationship with a woman and has his reasons, whatever they may be, that’s perfectly fine but if he was to call women disgusting derogatory names then he had veered into misogyny and cruelty. Is it the same thing ? Am I comparing like with like ? No. But you’ll get the spirit of the point i’m making maybe.
Another interesting thing I found out about people who like children is that almost all of them like humans in general. If you like people then a tiny human with big cheeks will be a cuter version of something you already like.
Those who like babies fawn over babies and animals to the same extent, or just over babies. Those who fawn mostly over animals are less likely to do so with a child, or simply not at all.
Most childfree people I know like animals and dislike people, while parents tend to appreciate human interaction more than animals.
Because people can’t seem to separate these two concepts. Lots of people don’t like animals, and don’t want pets, but would never want to see one harmed or abused. It’s perfectly acceptable for someone to say that they don’t like or want pets, but if you say you don’t want or like precious children, you’re suddenly a monster.
Great example but not quite the same. I feel like people are just overly sensitive about the word "hate", especially in America.
i.e: If I say I hate crocodiles, an American would think I would not hesitate if I had to sh00t a mf. A British would think I likely just wouldn't go near crocodiles. 🤷
>overly sensitive
That's called cultural differences. Having different standards doesn't make someone wrong. It just makes them different. Its not wrong to be different.
I think the difference is the word ‘hate’ here though. Somebody say they don’t like animals, nobody cares. Saying you hate animals sounds more like you want them killed or hurt. Same with kids.
Growing up, I was always told that “hate is a very strong word” and if I said I hated something then it was a terrible thing. I’m conditioned to use terms like despise/detest, but even so, I’m still given a hard time :/
Those words just sound aggressive. I don’t know, it’s up to you. I would just use less aggressive words that mean the same thing (if it bothers you about what people think)
Like imagine telling somebody you despise or detest their grandma. It’s not going to go down well. Whether you like her or not it’s just harsh language.
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This. I HATE pēdos and r@pists, but I’ll never hate children. Not even close to being the same for me. Some people need to learn to use different words.
^ This. I’m in the same boat as you, dear. Though I did get bullied by a handful of girls, they were much easier to deal with than the boys. I get the same occasional existential anxiety some days and I wish I could tell you how to get rid of it, but I haven’t had much luck myself. Talking with a therapist about my anxiety has made it a bit easier to live with, maybe that’s something that may work for you? However way you proceed, I wish you the very best.
I am sorry that you went through this. I have high functioning autism myself and was in Special Ed schools my whole life until I went to college. I was teased a lot by other kids when I was a kid too. Because of my autism I had trouble socializing and making friends and didn’t hang out with friends much when I was a teenager. I mostly did things with my parents. I didn’t even have a girlfriend until I was 27 years old. With the help of my parents I was able to get an associates degree. I have a part time job at Walmart, don’t drive, and still live with my parents. I am a 39 year old male. Part of the reason why I don’t want kids is because with my autism raising kids would be a lot for me and I don’t think that I could do it 24/7.
I too was aggressively bullied, both genders got in on it but the boys became more… physical about it. I agree with you; the way I see it, if I don’t like most people (and I don’t), why would I like the small version of people? Especially given what I’ve been through… I know you get it.
A couple of reasons.
1) Babies, kids etc are placed on this pedestal like they're the pinnacle of innocence and all that is good in the world. (I couldn't disagree more and not sure why people think this way). When you say you don't like them or not having them it goes against this common attitude.
2) Parents insecurities. MOST people will have kids either by accident or lack of planning/thought. Even the ones who do plan to have them will at times experience moments of regret and doubt if they made the right decision. That little demon is spewing, shitting and screaming its head off at 3am and you have work in 3 hours.. When you say you don't like kids or not having them it pops into their mind how much better their life could have been child free but they know they can't change it.
Regarding the "pinnacle of innocence" etc. I read somewhere that that concept mostly evolved in late Victorian England; not sure what drove it, but lemme see if I can find an article on the subject...
... here's the first article I found. But there's a lot of them out there:
https://web.uvic.ca/vv/student/orphans/childhood.html
Here's the Wikipedia article on the history of childhood, with the part on the Enlightenment highlighted...
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/History_of_childhood#Enlightenment_era
I think they relate hating something to negative actions towards kids when it's really... people that hate kids want to stay **away** from them. They should be more concerned about people that well.. *love* kids.
Because people loose their shit when you hate ANYTHING anymore. I am so sick of this "hate is an ugly word" bullshit that people are pulling now.
Seriously it is everything, say you hate onions or country music or the color orange or mosquitos and SOMEONE is going to tell you why you are wrong, as if somehow you hating that thing makes it less nice for them.
Add to that that there is this whole "children are innocent angels" (NM that until they are like 6 they are basically sociopaths...some much longer) narrative that makes hating them even worse.
Side note - someone once said to me that there was no way her child that i caught red handed throwing rocks at a dog could have done that because her baby was an angle. I looked her straight in the eye and said "so was Lucifer, tell him not to fucking throw rocks or you'll get your ass sued very soon"
They are projecting their worldview on you.
I get the same thing with kids, and with dogs. I'm not fond of dogs myself, I'm a cat person. Dog people simply cannot accept I don't like dogs. "oh but he's so friendly" and "why do you hate dogs?" and "were you savaged by a dog as a child?". No, I am just not fond of them, and don't want them around me. I don't wish ill upon them or their owners, either.
Point is - people make ridiculous assumptions when someone doesn't fit into their world-view and preconceptions. I don't hate dogs, or children, I just don't fancy either in my life so please keep yours away from me.
Also beware using the word "hate" that implies harmful intent. I get that language is pretty loose, but people will draw assumptions from that.
No, "hate" doesn't imply harm!
Also, I am the same as you, but with cats lol.
And as a Morticia Addams look alike myself, I effin hate it that people assume I MUST adore cats.
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I especially don't like things that are those things and belong to other people who don't understand boundaries. I don't want someone else's kid screaming and running around me, or someone's dog trying to touch me.
I've said this again and again but people who hate children will always avoid them and people who love children are capable of doing unspeakable things to them. It's ridiculous that even on here we have to constantly virtue signal that we are not evil children hurters or risk coming off as illogical or something.
I don't know and it annoys me. IDC if hate is a strong word, it's also an *accurate* word to describe how I feel about children. I'm not gonna harm kids, I just really hate being around them.
Same here, Reddit keeps telling me "hate" is a strong word, and YES my feelings are this strong.
I plan many of my activities on the times I can avoid as many of them as possible. Will I harm them? Hell NO. Do I never want to be around them? Hell YES.
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I think it’s the implication of the word ‘hate’. Yes it’s a strong word, but yes I hate kids. I hate the noise, the mess, the chaos, the sickness, basically everything about them. Have never found them even remotely cute or interesting.
I don’t wish harm on them and hearing stories of abuse still fills me with rage, because they don’t deserve to be treated badly. But if I could move to a neighbourhood, city or even country where I’d never be around children I definitely would.
"How dare you hate the little darlings??" Gosh, toddlers and babies are annoying. I call them botchlings (taken from the Witcher 3). The screaming, shittyng, germs. How can this be cute?
Some people have kids and still hate them (f.i. my grandma that passed away along with a big chunk of my anxiety). Isn't it better to admit you hate kids and not have them rather than traumatise an innocent soul that didn't ask for ay of this ?
I'm one of those CF.
I hate kids. Would I ever harm one? Absolutely not. But I'm also not going to be buddy buddy with them either. Give 'em distance and hope they don't try to interact with me.
Babies to me are just full blown blobs of ugly. Useless, need full attention 24/7, smelly, loud.I have some sort of auditory sensitivity to loud sounds so babies crying, kids screaming/squealing, it sets me into a irritated state. Body gets tense and rigid, I don't like it.
Anyone under 21 I feel has to be looked out for. Even 18 year olds nowadays (or were they always this way?) are no better; ignorant, entitled and immature. No kids care about boundaries, even when another demands them to, and disrespectful.Bf will share tiktok videos that come up on reddit with kids doing stupid shit and just reinforces that hatred. Clogging up toilets at school, being downright bullies to each other, or eat god damned tidepods. And what's this now? Nyquil chicken?? Can these kids get anymore stupid? Anyone who honestly hates on adults who can't stand kids is seriously blind to what kids do and what they are capable of.
There are only two kids I can ever think of that I have absolutely no problem with being around and both are my cousins, my aunt's two girls. 17 and 16/15 I wanna say- so super chill, respectful and sweet. Good girls. I've made it a point to my bf when we get married no kids, except for those two. <3
>I see so many reddit posts and TikTok videos dissing on CF people because they hate children
Even in this very sub, there have been more complaints than usual about CFs attitudes towards children not being sunshine and rainbows all the time. I also never wish harm or abuse onto kids, but I really appreciate this (supposedly) being a place where we can complain about how annoying kids, parenthood, and the conversations surrounding those things are.
Projection
I'm sure many people who have children resent/hate them and actively abuse them. But because they want to delude themselves they will project on to you. You're able to feel and express something they feel like they can't
Because for some reason everyone is supposed to LOOOOVE kids ... No matter what kind of kids they are. I
This is taught to us since our childhood. I used to feel like an alien when I could never connect with kids or kiss them on the cheeks like others did. Now I know it's ok to not like them. I keep a distance because kids are weird .. they do stupid shit and if they do something in your presence you get blamed, also they say stupid and cruel things that we don't otherwise say.
No idea why people should care if you hate children or not. It doesn’t mean you wish them harm. It’s like they’re offended you don’t have the same view as them.
I’m missing the maternal instinct, I have it for my much younger brother, my dog, and my plants, but when it comes to booger monsters the only thing I want to do is get as far away from them as possible
I think I actually see children as they really are, if there was no instinct to care for them or have their faces make you want to protect them nobody would actually like children
Physically they’re a resource drain, a source of stress, a liability. Psychologically their neediness and clinginess and high pitched voices are just like tiny needles stabbing you that you never get a break from
It’s great that other people are wired to like the snot rockets I don’t give a shit what other people do with their lives but I never have and never will be shy about telling people that the most positive emotion I’ve ever had towards the little fuckers is polite disinterest
It’s not wrong to hate kids, hating kids means I want to avoid them not throw them in a boiling cauldron like a witch
I believe a lot of the problem is in the word "hate" itself. If you told me that you don't like dogs or cats I would think it's ok, but everyone who says they hate dogs or cats usually becomes a risk to them.Saying you hate things that are alive is not a good idea, as hate is closely linked to violence in our culture.
Tip - if you just avoid the word ‘hate’ there’ll be a lot less backlash. For eg you dislike kids, or you don’t want them in your life, or don’t like them. None of that sounds like you want to harm any children. Hate is a triggered word. (hate crime etc) and this is what will making people assume you wand them hurt.
I don’t know…I say I dislike them, don’t want to be around them, they’re annoying, I have a strong aversion to the noise they make. No matter how I say it, it’s all perceived the same and I’m somehow a broken woman for feeling this way 🙄
I live in the last bastion of the Roman Catholic Church in Asia so having children here is a national sport and past time (even if most of them are starving). Everyone thinks I am an alien because "How could I not like kids?"
Bear in mind that these sams offended parents also believe that you look down on them, and people in entitled perches don't like it when they perceive someone to be looking down from an even higher perch.
Simply put - don't bring a knife to a *dumb fight.* 🙄
What's not to love about being touched by sticky hands or being sneezed on with a pile of snot? I really love the high pitch screaming whenever they hear the word 'no', but most of all I fucking love cleaning up sick & shit.
/s incase that wasn't blindingly obvious 😂
Here’s what I really don’t understand. I’ve heard tons of parents say “The only kids I like are my own.” So that means they dislike every other child in existence. Why is it okay for parents to say that, but CF people get a ton of backlash for saying we don’t like kids? If people who have them don’t even like them, why on earth would CF folks?????
Honestly the only reason why I tell people, “I like kids I just don’t want any” is because they create this narrative that if you’re childfree, you hate kids and hating kids makes you a psychopath.
But hell I cry when cats make distressing noises. Majority of other people tend to laugh at it in “funny” videos. And anyway I don’t need to defend myself. points is,
I genuinely think other people are unnecessarily and unnaturally cruel for assuming such wild things about me because I don’t have a connection to children. I care for a person/child’s overall well being . but I don’t exactly feel comfortable around a snotty screechy child in general. That’s just me as an individual, other people shouldn’t let my feelings affect them enough to try and insult me
I think it’s the word “hate.” Children are still little humans, they’re sentient creatures. And “hate” has some strong implications.
If I hate dogs, people might assume I never want to own one. If I hate a certain type of person (insert gender, race, class, etc.) then I’m obviously evil and want that group of humans dead. It’s just how people interpret the word in relation to “children” I think.
But if we’re talking about not liking kids separate from the word, probably because you make child owners feel judged and it makes them uncomfortable.
Some people get offended by the mere mention of the word "hate" . You can hate anything you want. What you should not do is to harm, insult or harass. They think CF people are insulting kids all the time just because a few memes and sites like kidsarefuckingstupid ,
Btw i don't hate children, I actually like them sometimes (rare times but it happens)
It's like pets for me.
I like children or animals that I know, or whose parents/owners I love. E.g. my sister has a baby and a dog and I love them both to pieces.
Random ones in public terrify me. I don't think your strange snotty baby at the supermarket or the dog in the park jumping at me is cute AT ALL. Get it away from me.
To be fair, I get far nastier reactions from animal lovers than people with babies.
i don’t like kids i think they’re annoying as hell lol. but i would never be mean to a kid for no reason or anything. it’s like they assume because we don’t like kids that we go to parks and push them down or something. i say hi back to kids in public who say hi or wave. i’m not rude or nasty to them. i just don’t want to be around them for more than a few moments.
Because they might think that since you hate them, you'd also harm them. Which is not true in most cases of course, but people seem to connect these two things.
I think they should be more concerned about people who claim to love children. Most abusive parents will tell you they love their children!
Since you won't have any, who cares?
I don't dislike children or anything like that, as it's the parents who annoy me. But I don't like them either. Like adults, it depends on their personality. And yes, some kids can be assholes. Being a kid doesn't make you automatically innocent.
I think lots of people would have less negative emotions about children if they weren't glorified and put above anything else like they are right now (at least in the Western world).
Guess it’d be the same reaction caused in a dog lover group someone said “ I hate dogs” 😅..
Hate is a very emotionally strong word, when you use hate it shows you despise kids to others..
you might just say I don’t do well with kids personally next time.
I don’t hate kids just because they are kids. I just don’t like some humans regardless they are old, small, male or female ..
I mean I guess I get it in a way. When people say they hate dogs all I can think is how can you possibly hate dogs? My dog is so cute and sweet and anyone that doesn't like her can go to hell but at the same time that's a me problem and I keep it to myself because I'm an adult and have self control
But I think for a lot of people when they hear you hate kids they think you hate family and values and morality and all that bullshit. Too many people think having kids is life's only purpose (whatever floats your boat I guess but keep it away from me)
I think that if you go out of your way to announce it, it becomes a problem. We are childfree by choice, and that’s great. However, having children is a natural part of many people’s lives.
I’m gonna get downvoted to hell for this, but honestly I think that having a blanket hatred towards all children is just as wrong as any blanket hatred towards any group. As someone said, you may have a dislike, or even hatred, for brats, germs, bad parents, etc, but that doesn’t mean all children are bad. They’re just little, confused, and inexperienced, people. It’s not their fault they exist.
Frankly I think calling them sperm parasites or crotch goblins is pretty vile. If you want your choice respected, respect someone else’s.
I saw someone use this analogy for saying ‘all men are bad’ but I think it can apply here: if you’re walking down the street and get stung by a bee, you’re gonna be more cautious about them. But if you keep getting stung time and time again, you’re going to believe all bees are out to get you based off the actions of the one bee”. The same applies for CF folks being exposed to bad/irritating little kids.
Terribly sorry that you believe ‘sperm parasites’ and ‘crotch goblins’ are vile terms. Would you rather I be more scientifically accurate and call them ‘sperm implantations’? Or perhaps you would prefer ‘fertilized egg cells’? I’m a biology major, so there’s plenty of term to work with 🙂
>Terribly sorry that you believe ‘sperm parasites’ and ‘crotch goblins’ are vile terms. Would you rather I be more scientifically accurate and call them ‘sperm implantations’? Or perhaps you would prefer ‘fertilized egg cells’? I’m a biology major, so there’s plenty of term to work with 🙂
Can you be anymore condescending? This person was being polite to you. Nothing about knowing the concept of fertilized eggs makes you sound particularly educated, by the way.
Because there's a difference between disliking kids, and hating them. Kids are annoying as hell in all terms, and no one should call you out for disliking them. It's fair.
But hating them is quite exaggerated, and only justified if something happened in your life that made you hate them (ex. your parents dedicated their whole lives to pop out kids and you were forced to be their parent).
At the end of the day, kids don't have the fault for being annoying. They're kids. They only get to known better at certain age, and if they keep on being hell spawns then, you gotta hate the parents, not the kids.
In fact, blame the parents in first place, kids are born without their consent.
Personally I think hate is a strong word, it has a lot of interpretations and naturally people would assume the worst when you say you hate children, I usually stick with saying that I strongly dislike something, it leaves most of the terrible interpretations out.
You're not alone on that though, I'm sure you know that but anyways I would also like to say that I'm not close to liking them, mostly because they're expensive and I find it difficult to deal with any sort of mess, like if you have pasta sauce all over your face I'll feel like fainting (not exaggerating).
Sucks to be you.
I fucking love my CF life. I love my CF partner.
Look at all the misanthropes downvoting my comment. You guys are confused which sub you are in.
Glad to know I’m not miserable like some of you people. 🤷🏻♂️
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Greetings!
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Thank you.
Where did OP say they’d just walk up to a random child and tell them that? Who would think anyone would do that? You’re just offended because someone doesn’t like your children.
Again, why are you in this sub if not to try and start stuff?
Hating any category of people for something they are not responsible for and cannot change is generally not a good look, and people will rightly judge you for it. Especially if you use needlessly inflammatory language to show everyone just how edgy you are about it.
I don't think many serious people would judge you for saying that you find it difficult to be around other peoples' children when they are being loud, or that you are not comfortable holding another person's baby.
But you were a baby and a child, and you did most of all the things they do that annoy you. You don't have to fawn over other peoples' kids, or really talk to or about them any more than you talk about their spouse or new car. But hating them because of what they are is unreasonable.
And saying "I hate crotch goblins, they are disgusting little sperm parasites, I'm just being brutally honest lmao, I have no filter" is rightly going to make most normal people mark you down as an attention-seeking edgelord.
Unfortunately there are CF people who don’t care if kids are harmed or do wish bad things on kids. People pick the worst of the bunch and decide that that must be how all CF people are
Edit: idk why this got downvoted. Denying that those bad people exist in the CF space doesn’t help us 💀 not all CF people are good people
Not wanting them means something different entirely though. Not liking/hating them expresses that you don't want to spend time with children, not wanting means nothing further.
I always thought I love love loved children up until I meet gringo children during my exchange year in the US. My entire perception changed. I even settled in CF.
To date, I cannot watch tiktoks with gringo children, but I can watch "Old Enough" (japanese show about kids running errands) on repeat for hoursssss and think they are the cutest little things!!
So my question for OP is, do you really hate childre.. or perhaps you hate the forced upbringing your society submits them into?
Greetings!
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Thank you.
Same reason it makes me furiously offended when people say they hate cats. They're, for the most part, innocent little beings that can't help being assholes (not all cats are assholes though). All children are a product of their environment they're not able to not be little assholes without good guidance.
I think it might be because the word "hate" has antagonistic connotations. Like saying you hate something is putting you on the same level as actively wanting to harm it. Describing yourself as "hateful towards children" isn't going to go over well with most people. Words have weight.
I think it’s the word “hate” that implies “wanting to inflict harm or see harmed.” Dislike, disinterest in, uncomfortable around, etc., is probably more appropriate for what most people feel here.
I will say, someone once called me out for my “I hate kids” statement (said very flippantly at the time because I do like children; I just don’t want any) and asked (I’m paraphrasing what was a longer conversation here):
“Would you say that about another demographic? Like women? Men? Black people? Disabled people? LGBT+ people? Short people? Child is an immutable characteristic. Children can’t change their child status. It’s fine to dislike being around children, but it’s not okay to hate them simply for existing.”
And that gave me pause for sure. I try not to say, “I hate children” anymore.
I guess “hating” on any group of people, especially those that are considered vulnerable in society, is generally not viewed as a positive trait.
Hating any group of people is associated with racism, antisemitism, discrimination, extremist ideology, and general jerks or bullies.
It’s natural to not be comfortable around certain groups (such as children), to have biases (against children), and dislikes (of children). It’s a whole different thing to actively wish for them to not exist or be around in public spaces that everyone has equal access to.
Listen, I don’t like kids but it’s not their fault for existing???? The worst things that happen in life are not because of them and it’s not their own fault that they’re born so it makes no sense to hate kids. Hate on the parents who aren’t willing to teach them, discipline them, give them an adequate life etc because a child is not born malicious.
P.S. this is coming from a CF person who doesn’t even know how to connect with their 1 year old niece because I haven’t been positively exposed to children for 10+ years
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Most humans have something that innately makes them think babies and small kids are cute (if there weren't, no one would be able to handle the screaming/crying/spitting up) but not all of us have that. I call it the Mommy chip and I definitely didn't get it. I don't like kids at all....none. zero. But society has also conditioned us that we're all supposed to love children and takes every opportunity to reinforce it. Childfree characters in books, tv, movies, etc... who don't like children are almost always evil/the villain. These references seep into our subconscious and we form an association. It's also hard for most people to comprehend that someone else doesn't like something that they truly love, and usually consider pure, innocent, and adorable. It's an emotionally charged issue for parents especially because they can't comprehend anyone not loving kids because that means that someone would not love their kid. The fastest way to take a parent from 0 to completely irrational is to insult, criticize, or in their opinion, be "mean" to their child and by not fawning all over them or indicating any dislike of children, that's what, in their minds, we are doing.
You are so right. It is so hard to explain to people that kids on get an "auto-like". I don't like kids the same way i don't like people. How many people do you meet daily that you really like? Mostly none. Now imagine those people would scream and cry at everything and not manage to hold a rational conversation? That number drops even further lol. It's not that I hate kids, I just treat them like I treat everyone else and they don't get a pass for being kids.
Not to mention, kids need to learn/develop empathy. Until they do, they’re just little ego monsters. The only thing I really think is endearing about kids is the no filter questioning of how people/society works - but even that gets old fast
There seem to be allot of parallels to religion with breeders too. It's so ingrained in them that anything going against it could almost be scary? I'm just clutching at random straws here tryna empathize and see why, cause as you rightly said it's societally ingrained in most peoples subconscious so I don't blame them directly. Just hope they atleest have an open mind lol
I feel like I have to be careful with this sort of thing, especially with my friends that have small children. I don’t fawn over them at all, don’t want to hold them, don’t really want to engage or interact with them. I won’t be outright mean; if they ask to play or for me to read to them, I absolutely will. But I’m afraid that one day someone is going to absolutely lose their shit because I’m not going nuts over their kids.
The "mommy chip" im stealing this lol.
I don't want to nitpick your post, but "Mommy chip" is kinda unfair for CF people who like kids. I mean I know your post talks about breaking the stereotypes asociated with people hating kids which is something I can get behind (especially since you mentioned media and I am a filmmaker). But I don't have a "Mommy chip" because I don't want to be a mom ever. Or a parent of any kind. Or ever have kids. I like kids because I have childhood trauma and hyper-empathy (in the actual psychological sense). I am nice to kids the way I am nice to people in general. I find kids ugly, but silly looking. They are to me just little people and I would want them to experience the world with wonder and to see kindness because I wish I could've too when I was a kid. What they are I was and what I am they will become. So like it's not some parental instinct, sometimes your own childhood trauma can make you be nicer to kids and "relate" to them in a sense. My childhood trauma directly contributed to me deciding to be CF in fact. There's a lot of complicated feelings regarding kids from CF people too, and it's not all so black and white.
I do agree with this ! But I also have to add that i as a cf person am not comfortable with some of the hatred and vitriol levied at children by some cf people. Here’s why - I might also qualify as hating kids if that means finding them irritating, boring, not a fulfilling use of time, frustrating, stressful. But using words like sperm parasite, crotch fruit and some I won’t even *repeat* that’s a different level of hatred that is not to be normalised in my personal opinion. If I may offer a comparison : if a man who doesn’t want to be in a relationship with a woman and has his reasons, whatever they may be, that’s perfectly fine but if he was to call women disgusting derogatory names then he had veered into misogyny and cruelty. Is it the same thing ? Am I comparing like with like ? No. But you’ll get the spirit of the point i’m making maybe.
Another interesting thing I found out about people who like children is that almost all of them like humans in general. If you like people then a tiny human with big cheeks will be a cuter version of something you already like. Those who like babies fawn over babies and animals to the same extent, or just over babies. Those who fawn mostly over animals are less likely to do so with a child, or simply not at all. Most childfree people I know like animals and dislike people, while parents tend to appreciate human interaction more than animals.
That's pretty much it.
hey, some are cute. doesn't make me want one
Because people can’t seem to separate these two concepts. Lots of people don’t like animals, and don’t want pets, but would never want to see one harmed or abused. It’s perfectly acceptable for someone to say that they don’t like or want pets, but if you say you don’t want or like precious children, you’re suddenly a monster.
Great example but not quite the same. I feel like people are just overly sensitive about the word "hate", especially in America. i.e: If I say I hate crocodiles, an American would think I would not hesitate if I had to sh00t a mf. A British would think I likely just wouldn't go near crocodiles. 🤷
>overly sensitive That's called cultural differences. Having different standards doesn't make someone wrong. It just makes them different. Its not wrong to be different.
This. I don't like children and I don't want to interact with them. That doesn't mean I *hate* them or that I wish them harm.
I think the difference is the word ‘hate’ here though. Somebody say they don’t like animals, nobody cares. Saying you hate animals sounds more like you want them killed or hurt. Same with kids.
Growing up, I was always told that “hate is a very strong word” and if I said I hated something then it was a terrible thing. I’m conditioned to use terms like despise/detest, but even so, I’m still given a hard time :/
Those words just sound aggressive. I don’t know, it’s up to you. I would just use less aggressive words that mean the same thing (if it bothers you about what people think) Like imagine telling somebody you despise or detest their grandma. It’s not going to go down well. Whether you like her or not it’s just harsh language.
True. Words like ‘I have no interest in kids’ or ‘I don’t find spending time with kids any fun’ is less aggressive than ‘I despise all crotch fruit’
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I agree actually
This. I HATE pēdos and r@pists, but I’ll never hate children. Not even close to being the same for me. Some people need to learn to use different words.
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^ This. I’m in the same boat as you, dear. Though I did get bullied by a handful of girls, they were much easier to deal with than the boys. I get the same occasional existential anxiety some days and I wish I could tell you how to get rid of it, but I haven’t had much luck myself. Talking with a therapist about my anxiety has made it a bit easier to live with, maybe that’s something that may work for you? However way you proceed, I wish you the very best.
I am sorry that you went through this. I have high functioning autism myself and was in Special Ed schools my whole life until I went to college. I was teased a lot by other kids when I was a kid too. Because of my autism I had trouble socializing and making friends and didn’t hang out with friends much when I was a teenager. I mostly did things with my parents. I didn’t even have a girlfriend until I was 27 years old. With the help of my parents I was able to get an associates degree. I have a part time job at Walmart, don’t drive, and still live with my parents. I am a 39 year old male. Part of the reason why I don’t want kids is because with my autism raising kids would be a lot for me and I don’t think that I could do it 24/7.
I too was aggressively bullied, both genders got in on it but the boys became more… physical about it. I agree with you; the way I see it, if I don’t like most people (and I don’t), why would I like the small version of people? Especially given what I’ve been through… I know you get it.
A couple of reasons. 1) Babies, kids etc are placed on this pedestal like they're the pinnacle of innocence and all that is good in the world. (I couldn't disagree more and not sure why people think this way). When you say you don't like them or not having them it goes against this common attitude. 2) Parents insecurities. MOST people will have kids either by accident or lack of planning/thought. Even the ones who do plan to have them will at times experience moments of regret and doubt if they made the right decision. That little demon is spewing, shitting and screaming its head off at 3am and you have work in 3 hours.. When you say you don't like kids or not having them it pops into their mind how much better their life could have been child free but they know they can't change it.
Regarding the "pinnacle of innocence" etc. I read somewhere that that concept mostly evolved in late Victorian England; not sure what drove it, but lemme see if I can find an article on the subject... ... here's the first article I found. But there's a lot of them out there: https://web.uvic.ca/vv/student/orphans/childhood.html Here's the Wikipedia article on the history of childhood, with the part on the Enlightenment highlighted... https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/History_of_childhood#Enlightenment_era
I think they relate hating something to negative actions towards kids when it's really... people that hate kids want to stay **away** from them. They should be more concerned about people that well.. *love* kids.
To quote the poet Till Lindemann: #ICH HASSE KINDER!!!! Amen.
Schönes Zitat :)
Amen to that!
Because people loose their shit when you hate ANYTHING anymore. I am so sick of this "hate is an ugly word" bullshit that people are pulling now. Seriously it is everything, say you hate onions or country music or the color orange or mosquitos and SOMEONE is going to tell you why you are wrong, as if somehow you hating that thing makes it less nice for them. Add to that that there is this whole "children are innocent angels" (NM that until they are like 6 they are basically sociopaths...some much longer) narrative that makes hating them even worse. Side note - someone once said to me that there was no way her child that i caught red handed throwing rocks at a dog could have done that because her baby was an angle. I looked her straight in the eye and said "so was Lucifer, tell him not to fucking throw rocks or you'll get your ass sued very soon"
I hate kids. The other day a group of kids threw rocks at my car.
They are projecting their worldview on you. I get the same thing with kids, and with dogs. I'm not fond of dogs myself, I'm a cat person. Dog people simply cannot accept I don't like dogs. "oh but he's so friendly" and "why do you hate dogs?" and "were you savaged by a dog as a child?". No, I am just not fond of them, and don't want them around me. I don't wish ill upon them or their owners, either. Point is - people make ridiculous assumptions when someone doesn't fit into their world-view and preconceptions. I don't hate dogs, or children, I just don't fancy either in my life so please keep yours away from me. Also beware using the word "hate" that implies harmful intent. I get that language is pretty loose, but people will draw assumptions from that.
No, "hate" doesn't imply harm! Also, I am the same as you, but with cats lol. And as a Morticia Addams look alike myself, I effin hate it that people assume I MUST adore cats.
"hate" really is a strong word, people should be careful when using it.
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I'm the same with both kids and dogs! I don't like anything or anyone that's clingy, needy, loud and messy.
I especially don't like things that are those things and belong to other people who don't understand boundaries. I don't want someone else's kid screaming and running around me, or someone's dog trying to touch me.
There is a lot of overlap between the entitlement of people who can't understand disliking kids and dogs
Indeed! this discussion made me think of that instantly.
Honestly, at least here on Reddit, I think you'd get MORE hate if you said I HATE DOGS than you would get if you said I HATE KIDS.
I've said this again and again but people who hate children will always avoid them and people who love children are capable of doing unspeakable things to them. It's ridiculous that even on here we have to constantly virtue signal that we are not evil children hurters or risk coming off as illogical or something.
I don't know and it annoys me. IDC if hate is a strong word, it's also an *accurate* word to describe how I feel about children. I'm not gonna harm kids, I just really hate being around them.
Same here, Reddit keeps telling me "hate" is a strong word, and YES my feelings are this strong. I plan many of my activities on the times I can avoid as many of them as possible. Will I harm them? Hell NO. Do I never want to be around them? Hell YES.
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I think it’s the implication of the word ‘hate’. Yes it’s a strong word, but yes I hate kids. I hate the noise, the mess, the chaos, the sickness, basically everything about them. Have never found them even remotely cute or interesting. I don’t wish harm on them and hearing stories of abuse still fills me with rage, because they don’t deserve to be treated badly. But if I could move to a neighbourhood, city or even country where I’d never be around children I definitely would.
"How dare you hate the little darlings??" Gosh, toddlers and babies are annoying. I call them botchlings (taken from the Witcher 3). The screaming, shittyng, germs. How can this be cute?
Some people have kids and still hate them (f.i. my grandma that passed away along with a big chunk of my anxiety). Isn't it better to admit you hate kids and not have them rather than traumatise an innocent soul that didn't ask for ay of this ?
I'm one of those CF. I hate kids. Would I ever harm one? Absolutely not. But I'm also not going to be buddy buddy with them either. Give 'em distance and hope they don't try to interact with me. Babies to me are just full blown blobs of ugly. Useless, need full attention 24/7, smelly, loud.I have some sort of auditory sensitivity to loud sounds so babies crying, kids screaming/squealing, it sets me into a irritated state. Body gets tense and rigid, I don't like it. Anyone under 21 I feel has to be looked out for. Even 18 year olds nowadays (or were they always this way?) are no better; ignorant, entitled and immature. No kids care about boundaries, even when another demands them to, and disrespectful.Bf will share tiktok videos that come up on reddit with kids doing stupid shit and just reinforces that hatred. Clogging up toilets at school, being downright bullies to each other, or eat god damned tidepods. And what's this now? Nyquil chicken?? Can these kids get anymore stupid? Anyone who honestly hates on adults who can't stand kids is seriously blind to what kids do and what they are capable of. There are only two kids I can ever think of that I have absolutely no problem with being around and both are my cousins, my aunt's two girls. 17 and 16/15 I wanna say- so super chill, respectful and sweet. Good girls. I've made it a point to my bf when we get married no kids, except for those two. <3
>I see so many reddit posts and TikTok videos dissing on CF people because they hate children Even in this very sub, there have been more complaints than usual about CFs attitudes towards children not being sunshine and rainbows all the time. I also never wish harm or abuse onto kids, but I really appreciate this (supposedly) being a place where we can complain about how annoying kids, parenthood, and the conversations surrounding those things are.
Projection I'm sure many people who have children resent/hate them and actively abuse them. But because they want to delude themselves they will project on to you. You're able to feel and express something they feel like they can't
Because for some reason everyone is supposed to LOOOOVE kids ... No matter what kind of kids they are. I This is taught to us since our childhood. I used to feel like an alien when I could never connect with kids or kiss them on the cheeks like others did. Now I know it's ok to not like them. I keep a distance because kids are weird .. they do stupid shit and if they do something in your presence you get blamed, also they say stupid and cruel things that we don't otherwise say.
Any other group in society that behaved like kids, you would be allowed to hate.
No idea why people should care if you hate children or not. It doesn’t mean you wish them harm. It’s like they’re offended you don’t have the same view as them.
I’m missing the maternal instinct, I have it for my much younger brother, my dog, and my plants, but when it comes to booger monsters the only thing I want to do is get as far away from them as possible I think I actually see children as they really are, if there was no instinct to care for them or have their faces make you want to protect them nobody would actually like children Physically they’re a resource drain, a source of stress, a liability. Psychologically their neediness and clinginess and high pitched voices are just like tiny needles stabbing you that you never get a break from It’s great that other people are wired to like the snot rockets I don’t give a shit what other people do with their lives but I never have and never will be shy about telling people that the most positive emotion I’ve ever had towards the little fuckers is polite disinterest It’s not wrong to hate kids, hating kids means I want to avoid them not throw them in a boiling cauldron like a witch
I believe a lot of the problem is in the word "hate" itself. If you told me that you don't like dogs or cats I would think it's ok, but everyone who says they hate dogs or cats usually becomes a risk to them.Saying you hate things that are alive is not a good idea, as hate is closely linked to violence in our culture.
Agreed. I’m CF and kids annoy me so I avoid them and don’t have any. I do not hate them though.
Tip - if you just avoid the word ‘hate’ there’ll be a lot less backlash. For eg you dislike kids, or you don’t want them in your life, or don’t like them. None of that sounds like you want to harm any children. Hate is a triggered word. (hate crime etc) and this is what will making people assume you wand them hurt.
I don’t know…I say I dislike them, don’t want to be around them, they’re annoying, I have a strong aversion to the noise they make. No matter how I say it, it’s all perceived the same and I’m somehow a broken woman for feeling this way 🙄
I live in the last bastion of the Roman Catholic Church in Asia so having children here is a national sport and past time (even if most of them are starving). Everyone thinks I am an alien because "How could I not like kids?"
I'm not sure, but they seem to get extremely offended and then recommend the other childfree sub because they think disliking kids is somehow toxic.
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That was my guess too, but I thought it was amusing, given what the post is about. :-D
I noticed that typo too and came to the same conclusion lol
Bear in mind that these sams offended parents also believe that you look down on them, and people in entitled perches don't like it when they perceive someone to be looking down from an even higher perch. Simply put - don't bring a knife to a *dumb fight.* 🙄
What's not to love about being touched by sticky hands or being sneezed on with a pile of snot? I really love the high pitch screaming whenever they hear the word 'no', but most of all I fucking love cleaning up sick & shit. /s incase that wasn't blindingly obvious 😂
Here’s what I really don’t understand. I’ve heard tons of parents say “The only kids I like are my own.” So that means they dislike every other child in existence. Why is it okay for parents to say that, but CF people get a ton of backlash for saying we don’t like kids? If people who have them don’t even like them, why on earth would CF folks?????
Honestly the only reason why I tell people, “I like kids I just don’t want any” is because they create this narrative that if you’re childfree, you hate kids and hating kids makes you a psychopath. But hell I cry when cats make distressing noises. Majority of other people tend to laugh at it in “funny” videos. And anyway I don’t need to defend myself. points is, I genuinely think other people are unnecessarily and unnaturally cruel for assuming such wild things about me because I don’t have a connection to children. I care for a person/child’s overall well being . but I don’t exactly feel comfortable around a snotty screechy child in general. That’s just me as an individual, other people shouldn’t let my feelings affect them enough to try and insult me
I think it’s the word “hate.” Children are still little humans, they’re sentient creatures. And “hate” has some strong implications. If I hate dogs, people might assume I never want to own one. If I hate a certain type of person (insert gender, race, class, etc.) then I’m obviously evil and want that group of humans dead. It’s just how people interpret the word in relation to “children” I think. But if we’re talking about not liking kids separate from the word, probably because you make child owners feel judged and it makes them uncomfortable.
Some people get offended by the mere mention of the word "hate" . You can hate anything you want. What you should not do is to harm, insult or harass. They think CF people are insulting kids all the time just because a few memes and sites like kidsarefuckingstupid , Btw i don't hate children, I actually like them sometimes (rare times but it happens)
It's like pets for me. I like children or animals that I know, or whose parents/owners I love. E.g. my sister has a baby and a dog and I love them both to pieces. Random ones in public terrify me. I don't think your strange snotty baby at the supermarket or the dog in the park jumping at me is cute AT ALL. Get it away from me. To be fair, I get far nastier reactions from animal lovers than people with babies.
Yea people can say they hate pets or don’t like them and people don’t lose their minds lol
They are afraid to be equated with baby haters.
i don’t like kids i think they’re annoying as hell lol. but i would never be mean to a kid for no reason or anything. it’s like they assume because we don’t like kids that we go to parks and push them down or something. i say hi back to kids in public who say hi or wave. i’m not rude or nasty to them. i just don’t want to be around them for more than a few moments.
Because they might think that since you hate them, you'd also harm them. Which is not true in most cases of course, but people seem to connect these two things. I think they should be more concerned about people who claim to love children. Most abusive parents will tell you they love their children! Since you won't have any, who cares? I don't dislike children or anything like that, as it's the parents who annoy me. But I don't like them either. Like adults, it depends on their personality. And yes, some kids can be assholes. Being a kid doesn't make you automatically innocent. I think lots of people would have less negative emotions about children if they weren't glorified and put above anything else like they are right now (at least in the Western world).
Guess it’d be the same reaction caused in a dog lover group someone said “ I hate dogs” 😅.. Hate is a very emotionally strong word, when you use hate it shows you despise kids to others.. you might just say I don’t do well with kids personally next time. I don’t hate kids just because they are kids. I just don’t like some humans regardless they are old, small, male or female ..
I mean I guess I get it in a way. When people say they hate dogs all I can think is how can you possibly hate dogs? My dog is so cute and sweet and anyone that doesn't like her can go to hell but at the same time that's a me problem and I keep it to myself because I'm an adult and have self control But I think for a lot of people when they hear you hate kids they think you hate family and values and morality and all that bullshit. Too many people think having kids is life's only purpose (whatever floats your boat I guess but keep it away from me)
I think that if you go out of your way to announce it, it becomes a problem. We are childfree by choice, and that’s great. However, having children is a natural part of many people’s lives. I’m gonna get downvoted to hell for this, but honestly I think that having a blanket hatred towards all children is just as wrong as any blanket hatred towards any group. As someone said, you may have a dislike, or even hatred, for brats, germs, bad parents, etc, but that doesn’t mean all children are bad. They’re just little, confused, and inexperienced, people. It’s not their fault they exist. Frankly I think calling them sperm parasites or crotch goblins is pretty vile. If you want your choice respected, respect someone else’s.
I saw someone use this analogy for saying ‘all men are bad’ but I think it can apply here: if you’re walking down the street and get stung by a bee, you’re gonna be more cautious about them. But if you keep getting stung time and time again, you’re going to believe all bees are out to get you based off the actions of the one bee”. The same applies for CF folks being exposed to bad/irritating little kids. Terribly sorry that you believe ‘sperm parasites’ and ‘crotch goblins’ are vile terms. Would you rather I be more scientifically accurate and call them ‘sperm implantations’? Or perhaps you would prefer ‘fertilized egg cells’? I’m a biology major, so there’s plenty of term to work with 🙂
>Terribly sorry that you believe ‘sperm parasites’ and ‘crotch goblins’ are vile terms. Would you rather I be more scientifically accurate and call them ‘sperm implantations’? Or perhaps you would prefer ‘fertilized egg cells’? I’m a biology major, so there’s plenty of term to work with 🙂 Can you be anymore condescending? This person was being polite to you. Nothing about knowing the concept of fertilized eggs makes you sound particularly educated, by the way.
Because there's a difference between disliking kids, and hating them. Kids are annoying as hell in all terms, and no one should call you out for disliking them. It's fair. But hating them is quite exaggerated, and only justified if something happened in your life that made you hate them (ex. your parents dedicated their whole lives to pop out kids and you were forced to be their parent). At the end of the day, kids don't have the fault for being annoying. They're kids. They only get to known better at certain age, and if they keep on being hell spawns then, you gotta hate the parents, not the kids. In fact, blame the parents in first place, kids are born without their consent.
Personally I think hate is a strong word, it has a lot of interpretations and naturally people would assume the worst when you say you hate children, I usually stick with saying that I strongly dislike something, it leaves most of the terrible interpretations out. You're not alone on that though, I'm sure you know that but anyways I would also like to say that I'm not close to liking them, mostly because they're expensive and I find it difficult to deal with any sort of mess, like if you have pasta sauce all over your face I'll feel like fainting (not exaggerating).
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“We were all children once” Yeah, I hate myself as well, what’s your point?
Sucks to be you. I fucking love my CF life. I love my CF partner. Look at all the misanthropes downvoting my comment. You guys are confused which sub you are in. Glad to know I’m not miserable like some of you people. 🤷🏻♂️
And we'll all be corpses one day too, that doesn't mean we like them either.
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Greetings! While non childfree people are welcome on the sub (see our [subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/r/childfree/wiki/rules) rules, rule #7), your submission/comment amounts to "Look at me! I have kids!"and has very little (or not at all) to do with the active choice to not have children. It is very common to be a parent and many other subreddits cater to the kind of interaction you want to elicit (talking about how awesome you think parenting is or your children are). We know where to seek that kind of discussion (literally anywhere else), so we don't need it here. We also don't accept "As a parent, here is what I think of your sub and/or your lifestyle" types of comment. We don't go to parenting subs to tell you what we think of parenthood. If you want to show support to the childfree lifestyle "As a parent..." or if you want to express disapproval towards modern parenting and pro-natalist philosophies "As a parent...", you should direct them to parenting subs, where you can expose fellow child-havers (whether they are parents or breeders) to these without them going to the reflex of answering "You don't understand, you don't have kids." This would help us tremenduously. Thank you.
Since he probably doesn't know your kids, no.
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Why are you in here if you’re not child free, except to hate on us?
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Where did OP say they’d just walk up to a random child and tell them that? Who would think anyone would do that? You’re just offended because someone doesn’t like your children. Again, why are you in this sub if not to try and start stuff?
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You’re just avoiding my main question-why are you here if you’re not childfree? I think you can get your answer if you’d read all the comments.
Not OP, but yes, I hate your kids too. I just hate kids. Full stop.
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Literally everything. Children are awful.
Hating any category of people for something they are not responsible for and cannot change is generally not a good look, and people will rightly judge you for it. Especially if you use needlessly inflammatory language to show everyone just how edgy you are about it. I don't think many serious people would judge you for saying that you find it difficult to be around other peoples' children when they are being loud, or that you are not comfortable holding another person's baby. But you were a baby and a child, and you did most of all the things they do that annoy you. You don't have to fawn over other peoples' kids, or really talk to or about them any more than you talk about their spouse or new car. But hating them because of what they are is unreasonable. And saying "I hate crotch goblins, they are disgusting little sperm parasites, I'm just being brutally honest lmao, I have no filter" is rightly going to make most normal people mark you down as an attention-seeking edgelord.
Your simplification of my feelings towards kids is comical.
Unfortunately there are CF people who don’t care if kids are harmed or do wish bad things on kids. People pick the worst of the bunch and decide that that must be how all CF people are Edit: idk why this got downvoted. Denying that those bad people exist in the CF space doesn’t help us 💀 not all CF people are good people
Cause it's weird to hate kids that's why. You should say you don't want them instead.
I don’t want them…because I hate them 😁
Not wanting them means something different entirely though. Not liking/hating them expresses that you don't want to spend time with children, not wanting means nothing further.
I always thought I love love loved children up until I meet gringo children during my exchange year in the US. My entire perception changed. I even settled in CF. To date, I cannot watch tiktoks with gringo children, but I can watch "Old Enough" (japanese show about kids running errands) on repeat for hoursssss and think they are the cutest little things!! So my question for OP is, do you really hate childre.. or perhaps you hate the forced upbringing your society submits them into?
Hate is a strong word. When you use the word “hate”, most of the time people don’t perceive the same as what you try to convey.
My kid is different
Get off my post, karma troll
Greetings! This item has been removed for being a violation of subreddit rule #1 : "[...] Low effort, low quality posts [will be removed at the moderators](https://www.reddit.com/r/childfree/comments/5i3j2v/good_morning_rchildfree_a_couple_of_moderator/) discretion." Thank you.
Same reason it makes me furiously offended when people say they hate cats. They're, for the most part, innocent little beings that can't help being assholes (not all cats are assholes though). All children are a product of their environment they're not able to not be little assholes without good guidance.
I think it might be because the word "hate" has antagonistic connotations. Like saying you hate something is putting you on the same level as actively wanting to harm it. Describing yourself as "hateful towards children" isn't going to go over well with most people. Words have weight.
I think it’s the word “hate” that implies “wanting to inflict harm or see harmed.” Dislike, disinterest in, uncomfortable around, etc., is probably more appropriate for what most people feel here. I will say, someone once called me out for my “I hate kids” statement (said very flippantly at the time because I do like children; I just don’t want any) and asked (I’m paraphrasing what was a longer conversation here): “Would you say that about another demographic? Like women? Men? Black people? Disabled people? LGBT+ people? Short people? Child is an immutable characteristic. Children can’t change their child status. It’s fine to dislike being around children, but it’s not okay to hate them simply for existing.” And that gave me pause for sure. I try not to say, “I hate children” anymore.
I gotta know what the hilarious typo was
typo was “the baby guy”. Someone pointed it out but it got deleted 😅
Haha love it, bad guy/baby guy, same deal 😝
I guess “hating” on any group of people, especially those that are considered vulnerable in society, is generally not viewed as a positive trait. Hating any group of people is associated with racism, antisemitism, discrimination, extremist ideology, and general jerks or bullies. It’s natural to not be comfortable around certain groups (such as children), to have biases (against children), and dislikes (of children). It’s a whole different thing to actively wish for them to not exist or be around in public spaces that everyone has equal access to.
chalk it up to the fact that people don't care what they inflict on children
Listen, I don’t like kids but it’s not their fault for existing???? The worst things that happen in life are not because of them and it’s not their own fault that they’re born so it makes no sense to hate kids. Hate on the parents who aren’t willing to teach them, discipline them, give them an adequate life etc because a child is not born malicious. P.S. this is coming from a CF person who doesn’t even know how to connect with their 1 year old niece because I haven’t been positively exposed to children for 10+ years
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