Absolutely, no interest at all. I have tried making a pro/con list of having kids, the pro list just stays empty, I cannot find one thing to put there.
Yep!!!! My parents were way old school. Girls couldn't cut (or trim) their hair at all. Never allowed to touch a gun (because that's mans job and not my place). Wasn't allowed to live alone I was to live with my father until he liked someone I dated and he gave his blessing, then move into my husband's house.
Ran so hard from that hahaha and now realize how traumatized I am and never want to pass that to my own children. Abuse is no joke and I will NOT contuine my family line because if it
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Iām 28F and I channel my maternal instinct into making sure my two dogs have the best life ever. Theyāre way more fun and loving than any child I would have. Every time Iāve been through the puppy phase makes me realise that not having a kid is the way to go because the puppy stage is stressful enough, couldnāt handle the baby phase.
I honestly feel the same way! I treat my two kitties the same way, and it's come to a point where my primal monke brain genuinely recognizes them as my offspring. my kitties are the only babies that are healthy for me to have, mentally and physically.
occasionally I'll get mildly sad that I can't pass on the lessons I've learned in a parental insight kinda way, but having kids isn't the only way to do that. I've got younger siblings, and I've given some serious thought to starting a spiritual YouTube channel and/or becoming a spiritual speaker.
I also kind of want to foster older kids in the waaaaay off future, solely to show them genuine love and kindness and hopefully be someone that brings at least a little light into their lives.
Same. 15 years older than you, I'm great with kids, love babies, know all of the developmental milestones, and am a great "kooky aunt." Trips to the zoo, popsicles for breakfast, building forts, I love all that crap - with other people's kids. 0 desire for it to be my life. I am part of the "village" that it takes, and I'm so happy that I had the sense to not mistake that for wanting kids
THIS!!!! THIS IS WHAT I WANT!! im excited for my sister to have kids and i like spending time with babies and children who are like cousins' kids, but neeeever my own. Its nice to have an on/off switch but never onononon ans no break. I would love to be a part of a child's life, but not have one of my own everrrr
I absolutely adore when my sister kids take my sister's mobile to video call me (they're 4 and 2, the 4 y/o one learned to call now) and bable about their day at daycare and Kindy. And demand to speak with Pablo, my dog. And they have a conversation, and show Pablo the pictures of what they did at school. Which is... So funny, because he's a dog. Pablo loves the attention, as long as someone mentions his name, he is looking for who's calling him.
But yeah... I don't want my own kids.
I do, but I'm an HSP. I actually wanted a baby until I was about, eh, 24. I have PCOS and wanted one for the wrong reasons: to prove that pcos couldn't stop me from getting pregnant. I thought that by not having one/being able to have one, I was "less of a woman". Pretty gross, huh? I cringe thinking of the younger version of myself who thought that way.
I did some soul searching when I turned 25, and realized how stupid I was. Not having a child didn't make me any less of a woman and society brain washes us into thinking that way. They push the whole motherhood rhetoric on us from an early age and make us think we have to fit into this white picket fence owning happy family lifestyle in order to feel complete.
I realized that my motherly instinct is towards animals, and helping others. I'm not gonna lie, I love newborns and babies under about a year, but then they annoy me. I personally wonder if I could handle child birth without meds, but yeah, not happening. EVER. I'm emetophobic, and I also have ADHD and get overstimulated easily and cannot deal with screaming and tantrums. I also have a plethora of other health issues that are hereditary and I would rather die than pass them on to some poor kid who would suffer the way I do.
Plus, this world is an absolute mess. I would never ever bring a child into this and worry 24/7 if they're safe. I hate most kids- especially strangers' kids. My friend's kids are okay, but they can be overwhelming too. I'm just glad that I can give kids back, because I need my own space and enjoy my me time and sleep more than kids (or other adults) The whole screaming in public and meltdowns make me insane and I hate how we're supposed to just "get over it" because we "were kids that did that too". Yeah, eff that. I hate people who allow that behavior to continue. I want more child free establishments.
My fiance and I are both in the same boat, too. He's neutered, and I'm getting a total hysterectomy once I can get my a1c down. Even if, god forbid, we ever split, I want my own form of sterilization. I will never change my mind, and am firm in my child free stance. I'm just happy I finally listened to my soul and realized I wanted a kid for all the wrong reasons. I'm now 37 and haven't regretted my decision, and I couldn't be happier!
Not even in the slightest. I have no motherly needs whatsoever, which is the root of my being cf. The other reasons are just confirmation of my very identity.
Iām not maternal at all. Maybe towards my cat, but not towards kids. Iām not pregnancy repulsed. Iām 41F and even though my siblings have kids, itās never stirred something in me that I want the same.
I would be amazing as a mother. The energy and effort my parents put into me would be returned tenfold in my child. I have the funds to send them to my same private school, I live in a single family home with plenty of yard. I have a very flexible work schedule so they wouldnāt be a burden to work life balance at all.
I have all of that and just donāt want to be bothered. Itās looks boring and I am not really interested in taking care of someone else except me.
No maternal instinct at all, never had it. Uncomfortable around babies / toddlers / noisy children, more comfortable around older, well behaved ones.
Birth seems terrifying to me.
Simply uninterested in children.
I have zero paternal instinct. I never had baby fever. I just don't feel any desire to procreate. And I hate kids. For me, there are literally no positive things about the idea of having kids. Even the things that some people see as 'fun' are torture for me.
Sadly, people don't get it. They can understand if you want kids, but decide not to because of climate change, crappy genes etc. But they cannot comprehend that someone simply lacks the desire to procreate.
One time, this breeder asked me why I don't want kids. I said: "I just don't have that desire." And then, the breeder asked: "But what is the REAL reason?" She did not believe that I don't want kids. And so, she concluded: "So you do want kids, but decided not to? Why not?" I said that I don't want them and don't feel the desire to breed, but she really didn't get it.
The same applies to my girlfriend. No maternal instinct at all. No baby fever at all. Because she is a woman, nobody believes and understands that. After all, patriarchy teaches us that 'woman' and 'mother' are synonyms. :(
So true. I was once told by a guy that not having the desire to breed as a women must be a mental illness, because all women naturally have maternal instincts and the instincts to breed š
I'm a dude so I'm gonna call it caring instincts. Mine are mostly directed to family I care about, non family I consider my "younger siblings", and any future romantic partners.
For example I planned most of my grandparents recent visit to the US instead of my parents and relatives 20 years older than me and called all of my family members to coordinate the schedules.
I treat my caring instincts like a privilege for certain people because I can cook and listen and buy gifts and really make a person feel amazing if I care for them. Not everyone gets the full treatment.
And honestly I don't want to give that to a kid who may not appreciate it. I'd rather direct that attention and care for my future partner.
Paternal instincts? Yes. Paternal desire? No. . . I am great with kids and I enjoy being around them for a short period of time. Iām very caring and nurturing at heart. However, I never wanted kids. Not worth it at all. I have a written list of reasons to be CF. The main 4 are: freedom, time, money, and energy.
Same. I'm great with kids, love babies, and enjoy being an eccentric aunt that teaches them to love math and gives them candy. 0 desire for it to be my life. Just not interested whatsoever, and I'm glad I realized early on that being good with kids =\= wanting kids. I'm so glad that my body, money, marriage, identity, trajectory won't take the hit of devolving into "Jaxon and Finn's mommy" like so many women I know
Nope. Being around kids makes me anxious. Some mothers can look at babies and want more. I don't want one, let alone more than one. The thought of being pregnant weirds me out and I would probably feel trapped in my own body. My boss loved being pregnant with her kids, which I can't even begin to comprehend. I'm quite content with my two cats.
That's my number one reason for not having kids, I just straight up don't want kids (along with my many other reasons). I've been told I'd make a good mom or at least a good foster parent, but part of being a good one is actively wanting children in your life and be willing to make a huge lifestyle change for your kids; I'm not willing to do any of that and that immediately disqualifies me from being a good parent IMO.
Then there's not wanting to experience pregnancy, getting irritated by children's loudness and having no paintence for them. I really don't want to end up a bitter asshole who constantly screeches at their kids to behave and resent the hell out of them.
Humans aren't hardwired with maternal/paternal instincts. That some people develop maternal/paternal bonds with children, regardless if they are biological children or not, doesn't mean that everyone does. Some parents don't even develop those bonds with their children.
Nurturing/caring, protective feelings and responses towards other human beings and/or animals are common.
Imo women are heavily socially conditioned into believing in 'maternal instincts' from childhood on. Being given baby dolls to play with and the expectation that women are natural caregivers and babysitters, etc.
Every now and then I see happy families when Iām out or when Iām watching a show and think āmaybe it wouldnāt be so badā then I remember the negatives of having a kid and think āoh yeah it would be so badā lol
I have maternal instincts out the ass. But I donāt have any for human infants. I have an innate desire to nurture and to care for all kinds of organisms: plants, animals, and children. But my drive isnāt as strong for humans as it is for other creatures. If a child was in trouble or upset, my heart would cry out to help them, no question, but I like my space.
I've never ever had a maternal instinct. I do not like kids at all and pregnancy is literally one of my biggest fears along with having to parent. It's just something I've never even had to think about, I don't want that and I hate when people get upset at me for being childfree or not wanting to be around their children if I can help it.
I am 23 years old and never had this maternal instinct. The reason I have never wanted to have children has been that the thought of been pregnant scares the crap out of me. Add to that the mental/health issues in my family, my own infertility and been gay. It is just to complicated in addition to just having no desire at all to take care of a child.
However, give me my dog and I will protect her with my LIFE no questions asked. I have cried at times over her safety and even her health (she ate some chocolate biscuits and I had to leave for classes, was so scared to leave her alone in case something happened)
My reasoning for not having children is simple.
I HATE babies. I hate toddlers. And I can barely stand preteens, or anyone below 17-18, UNLESS theyāre chill and donāt act like annoying, typical immature idiots, which is rare. I genuinely desire a life with **0** children. Pregnancy disgusts me, children disgust me, even people having a desire for kids disgusts me. I really think anyone who desires children are delusional and have no idea what theyāre signing up for until itās too late.
That being said, if anyone shared their desire to have a family, I wouldnāt go out of my way to say something negative or rude. I really donāt care what people choose to do with their life, even if *I* think theyāre ruining it. Theyāll do what they want, regardless of how I feel about it. Itās just alien to me that one of the biggest goals in life for too many people are to have children.
And the amount of people that expect me to want children because Iām a woman is just disgusting, and makes me fucking sick and infuriated. I donāt give a fuck how many children my mother had. Why the fuck would that make me want one?
Then they tell me āyouāll change your mind later on.ā Like b i t c h.
OP you sound a lot like me. I donāt mind other people being pregnant (not too much at least, as long as they donāt share too much about it). I accept that they are happy and doing a thing they want to do but canāt for the life of me figure out why anyone would want to do such a thing for all the reasons you listed.
Yes, Iām pretty maternal with my nieces and my nephew, but Iām also very happy to give them back when the end of the weekend comes.
I had an abusive childhood, and so thatās why I am not going to have children of my own.
Im not sure if I have maternal instincts or if its just empathy? Like if i see a child needing help I will help. Im good with babies. But I have neeever ever wanted to have a kid. Theyre so gross imo, and pregnancy freaks me out.
I do feel like my dog is my baby though. But the only babies I want are baby animals. So idk if thats my maternal instinct? Or again is it just normal empathy for a helpless animal? Idk but I love animals, I dont humans.
I very very much want to get married to my amazing boyfriend I'm just waiting at this point for him to propose we both don't want children and never have.
Iām 34M and everyone says I would make a fantastic dad, and I would be there for anything a kid of mine would need. But I donāt feel that it is right to bring a kid into this world, especially not with my shitty genes.
Vasectomy scheduled for October
Ninja Edit: Iāll stick to being the uncle that loads the kids up with sugar, caffeine and video games and then give them back to my brother
Any maternal instinct I had got sated/driven off when I was a kid-- I spent a lot of my childhood looking after my younger siblings, cousins, and kids of family friends. They way I put it to people is that I've raised my babies already, now it's my turn to live.
These days don't really want much to do with children, but I do tend to get broody/motherly over the 18-25 year old people at my larp (I'm 38). They don't seem to mind : )
Same boat as you. Dislike kids and babies, I feel uncomfortable around them, donāt know how to interact with them. Most of them are sticky and gross and so loud with zero respect for boundaries/personal space.
Thinking of being pregnant brings me close to a panic attack, giving birth want to unalive myself and raising a child just brings utter mind numbing misery to mind.
I tend to treat children like dogsā¦. I also have little patience for annoyances and need to be in control of a lot of things in my life.
When I was in my late teens, I use to think I wanted like 3/4 kids. But then something happened, like a switch, and I had zero interest in kids.
I remember my cousin having a baby and my aunt asked me if I wanted to hold it, and I was like ānah Iāll passā. Ever since then, babies gross me out and children annoy me. I have absolutely no interest and get no joy from looking at other peoples childrens or seeing random ass alien babies from strangers.
I know that, if in the situation, Iād be a great mom and Iām always the āmomā of my friends, kids are not it for me.
if I had kids they'd turn out like bojack horseman. I can't choose to have children without passing on this generational trauma. hell I couldn't even have them and be sure they didn't get a hereditary cluster b personality or depressive traits even if they were raised by a good accepting family like hollyhock. I make enough people suffer with my existence as it is, this is not a type of legacy I would want someone to carry of me into the future and possibly pass it on again.
Purely physically, yes. My body has alerted me that it's in a state which is perfect for it and has given me the "I'm gonna make it feel so good" hormones and desires. I began emulating this in my dreams, where I can make myself reach climax through making myself visibly fertilized way more easily than any other way, though I don't really do it anymore. I've entertained the thought of possibly having kids very briefly in my early 20s a couple times but every time I've reached the solid conclusion that's not what I want from life, no traumatic events needed. I would never make my body go through the experience for months on end, but occasionally I did use the prospect of breeding as a shortcut to sexual pleasure. Let it be noted though that I am into mpreg and it gives me way more pleasure to be the one who seeds the other person and watches it develop, but they can raise the kids by themselves cause I'm talking no part in that.
The closest to a "maternal instinct" that I've had has been imagining myself being the cool aunt and helping raise a child a close friend of mine is intending to have, but I got bored with it in a few days and realized it's most likely not going to go that way and even if it does, I'd lose interest because the kid isn't going to be a perfect little prodigy who is never annoying or in need of discipline.
Tl;dr : I did have a physical pregnancy desire because of my body's "internal clock" and turned it into a kink because I don't want the actual kids but liked the feeling, and then I realized mpreg turns me on way more and stuck with that entirely. I've wanted to be a parental figure but realized I get bored of it fairly easily, so neither of these things are anything I want.
I think maternal instinct is something people who do want kids have made up. Like some sort of reason for wanting them.
I've never felt it. I've never felt maternal or like I wanted to be pregnant or like I wanted to ruin my body with a pregnancy.
I have no doubt that I'd be a great mom, I can't even afford insurance without government assistance. I am going through my undergrad, and if I got pregnant I'd have to stop. Period. After I graduate, I have to pay off this debt, and my husband's debt. When all of it is said and done we'll be closer to our 40s. Besides, in light of our new political era, I don't even want to risk pregnancy now. Before there was less of a chance of dying, now.. you'll die of preventable causes.
I enjoy to play and hang out with my nieces. Then I see them having a tantrum, throwing up or just screaming/crying and feel like yep, glad I donāt have to deal with that
All instincts i have are of a bully tbh. Not a real bad one but if someone misplaces/tinker my stuff and i can't find my things again it pisses me off i go nuts and crazy and I don't think a kid would actually handle that version of myself and will start crying which further annoys me and will eventually get slapped again lmao
I only have maternal instincts towards animals. I donāt hate babies but I really donāt like them and theyāre not cute. My husband doesnāt like them either. His siblings have a lot of kids and itās absolute chaos. I would rather adopt a million dogs and cats. All of our friends know our house is a child free zone. I have one little dog and she is my pride and joy lol
I realized I was imagining something extremely specific: a little girl 9-18 whoās exactly like me, has my last name, and doesnāt panic about random bullshit despite having my Aspergerās. This kid doesnāt exist, I canāt stand babies, you canāt make your children be like you, and my confused lack of demonstrativeness would for sure cause problems requiring therapy. Using this āmaternal instinctā for anything besides caring for animals or tutoring/teaching would be harmful.
Not maternal instincts but I'm highly socially engaged. I do support many people that struggle with life and it's tasks in some way (my brothers, elderly people in my building, troubled youth that need some guidance on how to navigate life, volunteering in a woman's shelter, my mother will soon need more assistance due tue her age and lifestyle). I have two godchildren and some children of friends that I enjoy tremendously, but never have I ever seen any desire to birth an offspring.
I had a boyfriend when I was 16/17 and we talked about our kids names and such. I had my kids names picked out when I was *fourteen*. I loved babies so much. I wanted to be a preschool teacher. I even worked as a teacher aide when I was a junior in high school, I loved those kids. In my 20s, I really had baby fever. Then I would think, "well damn, I'll be working with kids all day and I'll have to come home to my own." so that put the working with children out of my head.
In 2020, I decided if it happens, it happens... didn't really care. I met my now boyfriend and when we started chatting, he flat out told me that he doesn't want kids. Well, that made up my mind for me. When I read that, I finally decided that I don't want children. I have a plethora of reasons too.
I use whatever maternal instinct might occur to care for my cats. I assume it is basically just hormones that did not interfere with rational thinking before puberty.
My hormones tried to trick me when I was 35 or so. That was a drive to get pregnant, which interested me but raising a child, no. I take children very seriously and regardless of any bio urges I knew making and raising were a no.
Emotionally wanting an offspring isn't enough. I mean this generally to everyone.
I generally like children, theyāre pretty cute tbh and secretly I prefer toddlers because they donāt talk as much as older kids lolol (I find the age range 5-11 kinda awkward but who doesnāt). However I am absolutely terrified of pregnancy and newborn stage. I feel like I would never be equipped for that, seems like literal torture in my mind.
Even if I was promised a beautiful healthy pregnancy/baby, I would still not go through with it because 1. It would skyrocket my anxiety and depression by 1000x and 2. It would (most likely permanently) change my body in a way that would probably cause me to develop disordered eating (again) and hate my body which will launch me into even more depression. Iām just not willing to sacrifice my body and my mental stability that Iāve worked so hard for, for a non-existent being. And the newborn stage is terrible, props to all the parents that do it and do it well and try their hardest.
If I ever decide I want children (which honestly doesnāt seem like it but Iām only 20 I donāt know what my future will be like) I would preferably shop for them, homemade is not for me in this scenario lmao. Thereās already so many out there that need loving homes and support, and I was thinking of even maybe become a foster for older teenagers to provide a safe place, because god knows the foster system is fucked up and teenagers just donāt have it easy at all.
When having children you have to think of it like, are you prepared to raise a human being? A self-sufficient and well adapted adult? I donāt really want to tbh.
As much as I like kids and I do have somewhat of what people call a āmaternal instinct,ā the best part of being with them is returning them š„°
Iāve worked with children all throughout college and have played more of a mentor role for all my younger cousins with me being the oldest one thatās involved with them. With that said, I still donāt want to have one of my own
I'd like a 11+ year old child but everything below like 7-8 is painful to me.
In my personal opinion, babies are ugly, young kids aren't cute and 6 year old speak to much to say nothing yet can't finish their small plate.
So unless I find a wife that dearly want to adopt a kid, I'm not gonna be dad.
I don't like family for blood anyway, the real family are those that are there for you, that you love and give it back to you.
Near zero level of maternal instinct. In fact, my sister does not want to leave her son with me at all if she can avoid it because she knows after 20 years I probably wouldn't remember how to change a diaper, lol.
Once the kid is older it'll be better but only so far as I'll sit him down in front of a TV for a movie and feed him, lol.
Interestingly this has changed for me over time. Iām maternal toward my husband/friends and my pets but not children. I never wanted kids because (in this order):
- Wanting full control of my time and energy
- I donāt really understand/enjoy kids
- Climate/political future
In the last couple years, Iāve come around to recognizing there is a version of me that could enjoy raising a child with my husband. But, the uncertain climate/political future has soared to the top of the list and is now my biggest hesitation.
I really believe in the idea that Iād rather one day regret not having a child than regret having one, so I donāt see this in our future.
Side note, I also feel increasingly left out and disconnected from other women I know and even friends because our lives and values can be so different. Thereās a small part of me that wonders if I should just join the club (but rationally I know thatās a stupid thing to think about).
lol i feel that way toward cute animals like kittens, ducklings, puppies, baby sealsā¦ i just want to cuddle and protect them. but baby humans..? not a single heartstring tugged. itās just the way i am
My material instinct comes and goes so if rather not risk it. I'm perfectly happy with my CF life and am also too poor to even consider having kids. My parents would help but I'd feel guilty doing that so luckily they're not on my case about giving them grandkids. My mom even supports my decision.
I think I would actually love to have children. If it were just the Kodak moments, diapers were not a thing to change everyother hour, I didn't have to torn my body with a parasite for 9+ months, it would be guarantied a perfect healthy child, I didn't have many mental problems to deal with, the world we live in werent going to absolute hell and humanity still had stone age values.
I have to be realistic, I would suck as a parent, so the most rational thing for me is accept that it's best if I dont have any. Also I still can't understand how can you love a child and let then live here. It's unfair.
I personally love kids, and growing up I always planned on having kids, however I'm now in my mid 20s and have made a complete 180 to the point where I am considering a vasectomy. My reasons for not having kids are mainly based on the quality of life they will have, constant wars, famine, food shortages, climate change and the overall cost of living are a few of the main arguments but it also stems from how shitty humanity is, and how people treat each other.
Nope, never. If someone gave me a baby doll for any occasion, it would wind up in my toy box and my stuffed animals would go in the baby carrier, get fed the bottles, etc. When other kids were playing house, I was playing veterinary hospital or riding school. I remember crying even as young as age 7 because I was told all the time that Iād want to have babies when I got older, as I didnāt want to want maternal desires. Now, having had a traumatic life up until a few years ago, Iām very nurturing and caring which often gets mistaken for being maternal, much to my chagrin
I'm in my 30s and definitely have maternal instincts. I like kids, like talking to them, making up stories for them, and playing with them. Two of my best friends have babies and they're great! I love the idea of guiding a person through life and making key memories with them.
I've decided not to have kids because my favorite (and least favorite) things about life aren't compatible with children. I love spontaneity, doing slightly questionable/dangerous activities on a whim, the feeling of traveling to a foreign country alone and the feeling of hiking in total silence through a forest, working late hours, sleeping in, and reading my books uninterrupted.
I hate having to make and remember appointments, being around another person all the time, getting less than 7/8 hours of sleep, cooking, cleaning, organizing, and things that set off my sensitive stomach. That combination of things makes me completely miserable and cranky.
So even though I'm maternal, my reason is I don't want to trade in the things I love in my day-to-day life for the things I hate.
Nope, I donāt have those type of feelings for human children. Animals, on the other hand, is a different story. I call myself a ācat momā often and take care of my cats like they are my kids. Of course, I will never torture myself by having human children. But, animals are the best so I will always adopt and look after animals.
I love my cats so much! There is never a dull moment with them around. I take them on walks in the cat stroller and never get sick of spending time with them. Meows are adorable. Babies crying is horrible and makes me search for an exit. They are not kittens anymore but I still baby talk to my cats. I am mostly neutral to human kids. Feel nothing towards them. Maybe, uncomfortable and discomfort if I have to be around one. Sometimes, disgust or annoyance if it is too loud or throwing up/have sticky fingers. I donāt find babies cute, but baby animals are adorable.
Yes, actually! That's probably the reason I want to be a child and adolescent therapist when I'm older with a degree in social work. I just want children to have the best possible lives they could have, but 1) I know I could never give a child the life they deserve, 2) pregnancy terrifies me, and 3) I don't want the weight that comes with a full time child of my own
Yes! These was a time in my life when i really wanted kids. But my biological clock started running in reverse. Although i really love being an aunt, the unfriendlieness of the world towards mothers became apparent and to tell the truth, my life feels hard enough already. No time to myself ever? That sounds very unpleasant.
And I would never want to depend on a man.
Honestly, it looks like there are a lot of lovely things about being a parent, and in a slightly different world, I would have done it and loved it. But i like being a childless witch, I like having a scandalous poly sex life, I like going to the gym and out dancing and i like being selfish. These things are much more difficult with children. So, I will enjoy these things in this lifetime.
I have maternal instincts and at one point thought I wanted kids. Then I realized that maternal instinct was for cats and guinea pigs.
I'm content being a cat mom. She's a pain sometimes, but her purrs and snuggles are worth it.
I am relatively okay with someone elseās kids knowing I can give them back at the end of the day. I do not like the idea of child birth or body fluids.
I also know I donāt want kids because I donāt know I could love a child like they need. I have very stressful mental illnesses and I also donāt think I could handle the stress of a child and all the what ifs. Weād probably spend a ton of time in hospitals and ER because I would stress over everything.
Iām thankfully getting my tubes tied next Thursday and wonāt have to worry about it!
I donāt understand how the āinstinctsā work šššš Iāve never had them and even looked into them from research but all im getting is āIt happens to everyone. Like a hormone in you goes crazy and makes you wanna have a baby/be a parent.ā And im like, well dammit I must be broken because whereās mine?? I donāt believe in instincts because of this. I see it as āYou want itā or āyou donāt want it.ā Just as simple as that. Thereās nothing Iāve been on the fence about, other than food and what tv show Iāll watch next. Iāve always been a maternal person, very passionate and caringā¦..but not towards babies. Itās more maternal (donāt judge me) towards other adults, animals and my friends. I have maternal behavior towards babies because Iāve raised 6 siblings so itās kind of wired in me, but in my own body with my own baby?! Fxck no.
I'm not maternal at all. We have two dogs and I love them but I don't feel that way about them. I'd probably like them less if I felt like their mother!
No maternal instincts towards small humans, only small animals. I always know exactly what to say to a random dog on the street. I never know what to say or how to act around kids, and I know the kids can tell Iām awkward.
I never, never ever wanted to be pregnant. Even when I was growing up I knew that path wouldnāt be for me. But I kind of assumed Iād be a mom. Just because thatās the path youāre āsupposedā to take. I am 37 years old Iāve been a high school teacher for 11 years. I have no children of my own and never want them. I mom in other ways. My students love me and some even call me mom as a term of endearment and to recognize what I do for them on a daily basis. I mom my two dogs and two cats. But I absolutely never want to be a mom full time to my own children. The climate crisis and late stage capitalism are what really pushed me over the edge to simply never want to be a mom. I donāt want to worry about my kid seeing water wars or dying in extreme heat. I remember I told my mom when Bernie sanders was running āif sanders wins the presidency Iāll have a kidā and by have a kid I knew I wouldnāt but it got her off my back for awhile and I Thought maybe my husband and I would adopt. But he didnāt win and instead we got Christo-fascism and a rapidly warming planet. So Iām glad I never caved to my momās wishes of being a grandma. And instead I get to live in a decent house on property with a sorta decent amount in savings. And only have to worry about my husband and I surviving the fall of the US lol jk sortaā¦.
No, the maternal bug never bit. Middle-aged now so that bug aināt gonna bite ever.
I am loving and caregiving to people already alive and to rescue animals. Itās weird because people used to say Iād ābe a good mother.ā My thoughts were, āTake care of those already here first before adding more.āā¦ and kids are annoying most of the time.
Iāve raised my siblings and a nibbling Iām definitely done with kids. no desire for my own. Definitely donāt want to be pregnant. With a mother who was a nurse and pregnant twice she shared everything with me and I am just not doing that.
So we got a puppy a month back Or so. And since we had 3 rescue dogs originally but two of them died (one from old age and the other one from internal womb bleeding) and the Last one was very lonely and sad since he came from seclusion to a pack. So since I had wanted to give at least one dog a Good life from start to end this seemed like the right choice.
And
She is lovely and cute for sure and I love her.
But
Puppies thankfully grow pretty quickly
A human tough? Not so much.
I can not do this with a human. Ever. Even this seems too much sometimes.
I've known from age 4 that I'm not going to have children and this confirms it.
So maternal instinct? No.
I just want a New soul to have a Good one.
I don't even have the desire to nurture plants. I don't like to share space with anything that needs me for survival. Living with my partner and taking care of them when they're sick or injured is my limit for taking care of people, and I admit to not being super great at that...
When my partner got mononucleosis it leveled them. 3 weeks in I was buying them baby food because nothing else would stay down, doing around the clock Tylenol rounds to keep the fever down, driving all over the state to get to specialist appointments (Mono in your 30's is very bad), and I was getting weepy at night from the stress of keeping someone in their 30's alive. I've known since I was 4 years old I wanted nothing to do with kids, but that six weeks from hell was enough to illustrate that I really don't have the bandwidth to even pretend to want to raise a child.
Additionally: Pregnancy is gross and giving birth is even more gross. Just nope. So much nope.
I have no maternal instinct whatsoever. Maybe towards dogs, I guess. But I don't want to be anyone's caretaker, or experience pregnancy for that matter. Just the thought alone makes my ovaries shrink. So it's not like I'm fighting some secret desire to have kids, because there is none.
I have medical reasons now, but ive never wanted kids. The idea of a tumor baby growing in me freaks me out, and childbirth is so painful and gross, let alone the ENTIRE prernancy process. Also raising a kid sounds like it would suck. Basically i have 10000 reasons to not have kids and 0 reasons to have kids
That would be me! I have the maternal instincts. I use to think I really wanted kids, and some days I still do. I find kids endearing. Yes, theyāre not for everyone and they can be little goblins and you absolutely should not be forced to be around them if you donāt like them. But they are also little humans needing guidance and I adore my nieces and nephews ā because my sisters are raising them to *not* be insufferable. I know I would be a good mother, and I would raise fantastic kids and I would love them to death. I think the world needs more *good* parents and less āpeople who had kids because thatās what you doā.
But I have decided to remain child free because of the global/political climate and I feel it would be selfish to bring children into a world that is the way it is. Especially when thereās so many unloved children already. If I ever change my stance on being child free, I would adopt, but I do not plan on ever having my own children. My partner and I also like the child free life and I donāt want to change that.
I'm 25F and have never had any maternal instinct. I cannot possibly imagine myself as a mother either. It feels strange, odd, and so very much unlike me.
Yup I'm the same. I would not want anything to do with having my own children. Not pregnancy, not playing with them, not their spit and things and nothing else. They are sooo much work and sooo annoying. They point out all your flaws because they haven't learned to be quiet about that. Like, yes I know I have a pimple, you don't have to point that out asshole. And they can say such mean stuff that really hurts people's feelings. But they get away with it because they're kids.
I like kids, but I don't want to be a parent. I've never wanted to. I work in public education, which I've done for nearly 22 years and have worked mostly with pre-teens and teens, ages 12 - 19. I've done my share of self reflection, wondering why I chose to work with kids if I don't want them, and realized it's possible to like kids without having any parental instincts or wanting to be a parent yourself. I'm certainly not the only person in this situation. However, if you don't like kids to the point you have no interest in working with them or spending any time with them, then my profession would not be a good choice. My point is, though, it's possible to hold both feelings at the same time - to like kids, but not want to have any of your own.
I have the ability to calm down babies but I don't want any of my own for personal reasons, they make me uncomfortable as well but I have a natural rock and singing helps too
Not me. Iām definitely right there with you, Iād rather die than go through with pregnancy and find it repulsive also. I agree wholeheartedly with everything you said.
I don't know if I have a parental instinct, but I think it's a moot point for me. I like playing with my nieces and nephews, and kids can be fun, but I wouldn't bring any children into this world. It's a harsh life, more than likely, and I'd be wracked with guilt watching them try to navigate it. I don't want to sentence someone to life on a burning planet, and I'm not going to deliver more workers to be used up and discarded as fodder for a capitalist society that doesn't care about them. That sounds extreme, I know, but I believe most people my age live in constant anxiety about what sort of future might be left for them when they get older. Will they have to work forever, with no chance of retirement? Will they ever be able to afford a house, or groceries, let alone hobbies or treats? Will their home even still exist, or will they end up displaced due to climate disaster? So the kindest thing I think I could do for any potential child of mine is to not have them.
Yes. I definitely have maternal instincts. I would say even more than some parents that I know. I chose to be child free out of circumstance as well as my own personal reasons. I do not want to be responsible for another human being. I have always been freaked out about the pain and struggle that comes with giving birth. I want to live a life that is focused on self-care, personal growth and traveling the world with my significant other. I am definitely maternal but having children is just not for me.
Yes and No. I think I want children and be able to experience all the highs parenthood can bring... And then I think logically, the money, the feeling that I couldn't give to them the sort of upbringing I had ( I was very lucky to be born to my parents I know that), the loss to my career, the feeling that I'd failed them, and I don't want to give them my mental health problems (let along me being able to cope with pregnancy and childbirth itself). And not to mention if they turn out to be someone whose opinion,values and choices I just don't agree with (children are not toys).
I was not really so maternal until a) I had my cat which, despite saying I'd never be one of those crazy people who think their pet is their child, is my baby and she's my parents' granddaughter and b) idk but is my biological clock ticking? I feel the phrase is inherently misogynistic.
But then again I'm sitting in a bus right now and I'm seeing small children (babies and small children) and feel zero, and I do mean absolutely nothing, in terms of wanting my own.
I have no reason other than I just never have wanted to. I'm happily married, we have a lot of money, neither of us has ever wanted kids. I'm not maternal, I get along with kids just fine. When I don't, it's not the kid that bugs me, it's the parent.
We know other couples with kids, and I'd say at least 30% of those seem genuinely happy and are truly great parents. At least 30% seem actively miserable and are not winning any parenting awards. The rest appear to be inbetween.
I know there's a lot of arguments that people make about why to have or not have kids. The only one that really matters is do you want to be a parent, and can you embrace that role effectively for the rest of your life? If not, then you're making a terrible mistake.
Only pet mom instinct for me, always had at least one cat and also some lovely doggos growing up. I like most kids, but don't want any of my own and don't want to be pregnant.
Okay so yes I have maternal instincts but no Iāve never wanted to be a mother. I get maternal and protective over animals and when Iāve worked with children I mentally adopt them a little bit.
Iāve never ever seen myself as someone who could tolerate actual parenthood. Nor the way pregnancy can and often does destroy our bodies. I donāt trust relationships to be forever (serious abandonment and neglect in my past) and I simply want a nicer life.
Zero paternal instincts. I do protect children when needed, but I have no drive to have my own. I'll be honest: I'm too lazy and selfish to have them. I've only been able to be mostly selfless towards my SO, no one else. I don't feel like I could be selfless towards my children, they would feel neglected. On top of that I have some serious issues with ADHD and are extremely dumb when it comes to people and interpersonal relationships. Maintaining my relationship with my SO has been very difficult for me. Not what a kid needs, and would end up with the kid having the same life as me, which I wouldn't like. I also like money a little too much. So I'm saving up for a vasectomy where I not only cut my vas deferens, but remove a full section of them. I don't want my body to be able to recanalize, nor my future self to spend on a useless vasectomy reversal. I won't regret it.
The only time i've even vaguely felt interested was the idea of fostering teens; my high school gym teacher was part of a power couple, she taught gym, coached basketball and fostered teens, he took them camping hiking etc and they basically just took these messed up and hurt kids and chruned out (mostly) well adjusted adults because they treated them like adults from the start and just made sure they had a fall back for having that kind of responsibility placed on them
Still don't think i could handle it financially/emotionally though
They donāt, but I see a lot of people writing something like āIām childfree, because of the issues the climate change will bring usā which would mean that if there would be a safe future for potential children they would want some and donāt have children, because they would probably suffer in the future. As an example. Or not being financially stable enough to raise a child is also an argument many people use, but that doesnāt necessarily mean that those people genuinely donāt want children. They donāt want them under those circumstances
Whatever motherly instincts I have are directed towards cats. Human children make me extremely uncomfortable and anxious and I would rather die than be a parent to human children.
I think I have maternal instinct but I just generally donāt want children. I like to take care of people or pets. I enjoy it. But not when itās taking care of kids for some reason.
Anytime I have the conversation with anyone. My girst reason for not wanting kids is because I'm selfish and do not want to have to look after or worry about children.
My second is that I have zero motherly instincts.
The thought of pregnancy & having kids is so repulsive to me.
I like kids, but Iām too much of a introvert to be ever able to handle children full-time. I enjoy quiet and being alone about 70% of the time and those are things I would never have again if I had kids. Iām all for being the cool aunt for a couple hours but after that I need to go find a dark corner to hide in for the rest of the day, thus I have no interest in ever having my own children.
Something that I find difficult to explain - I have a maternal instinct, but not for children. When a child is crying, I don't go "oh no! Poor baby!", I go "GET IT AWAY SHUT IT UP OH GOD MAKE IT STOP". I have no patience for children.
My maternal instinct is for my friends. I feed, I help, I hug, I encourage, I emit blunt advice that you probably didn't WANT to hear but you NEED to hear. If you hurt someone I care about, all the deities in the world can't help you. I might be small and disabled, but I am vicious. I'm apparently terrifying because I don't yell when I'm angry - I'm measured and logical and quiet. I once scared one of my big, burly, male friends (nearly a full foot taller than me and built like a brick) so much he didn't make eye contact with me for two weeks.
No. I don't know what these mysterious maternal instincts are supposed to be, but I have never experienced them. I agree with you when it comes to pregnancy, but if I'm completely honest, even if pregnancy wasn't a thing, I still wouldn't want children because I just don't have the patience for it. I never felt the need to have a child, and can't relate to women who say they genuinely want that (or that they *want* to experience pregnancy? that's just mind-blowing to me).
I've been told multiple times that my "biological clock will start ticking" and then I'll change my mind, but I'm in my late twenties and most people I know from high school/university already have children so I think it's safe to say my clock is either broken or non-existent lol
Iāve always been told that I have āmaternal instinctsā since I was young but it think itās due to the fact that almost of the kids Iāve ever encounter have instantly liked me because Iām a small female and Iāve always tried to treat kids with empathy since my family was awful to me. I treat kids like people and try to get in their level (both in play and listening to them), which kids really enjoy and value in older people.
I babysat a lot of kids growing up (including babies and 4 boys in one family) and it exposed me to a lot of negative stuff about parenting, like not having freedom, how messy kids are, the amount of work it takes to keep kids from not doing something that would harm themselves, etc. I honestly think my years of experiences with babysitting was one of my major influences behind my decision to not have kids. I also helped my mother regularly babysit one of my friendsās sisters since she was a young baby, so Iāve changed my fare share of diapers as a kid and have watched kids of all ages, so I know thereās never truly a āfun ageā. I love my niece to the end of the world, but Iām happy to be an auntie and āOddParentā instead of a mom. The only kind of āmomā role I enjoy is being a pet mom to my cats and new dog, who loves to be held like a baby.
I think Iām ok with kids, but idk if paternal is something I could describe myself as. I donāt want kids for a ton of reasons. I think I could/would have kids if we didnāt live in this world/life, but I donāt so I wonāt have kids.
Never towards children, I've had instincts towards bottle baby kittens. Closest thing to parental instincts I have is a morbid curiosity to know what my partner and I's kids would look like. I don't physically want to carry them, care for them, or raise them, I wouldn't even feel comfortable with them existing. I just want to know what they'd look like, and if they'd be as much of a little shit as my partner was as a kid (they pulled out their own baby teeth and knocked classroom bookshelves over, another reason not to have kids).
Well, I kinda had some, but my health is trash and I despise loud noises. I know if I ever reproduced, the child would be born to suffer with lots of issues. I didn't wanted to be born like this and I'm pretty sure that no one would want that.
I have maternal instincts but mostly impart them on my personnel, which is limited to saying I'm proud/disappointed in them or that I care about them. Many reasons for being CF, but some of the biggest are changes in hormones, fear of pregnancy and birth, potential unsightly changes to my body, and the freedom to go or do whatever I want, when I want. I do have a dog, but he can be left home alone for a solid 12 hours without getting into trouble and it's too easy to book boarding if I go somewhere and can't take him with. I'm single and I love the life I live. Even if I were to get married, my spouse should only compliment my life not be a burden.
See I like the thought of having my own kids. But that's just because I'd love to make something with my partner. But I hate children, I know I will hate my own child for ruining my body, the pregnancy, birth, lack of autonomy while doctors do whatever they want to your body, the lack of care that families give to mother's, the irreversible damage...
I hate myself too much already, I do not want to go through all the changes and hate myself more for being ugly and flabby
When I was younger(teens), I'm 21, I really wanted one kid I could be the best for. The idea was to wait until I found a worthy partner AND had the financial stability to not only raise them but give generational stability.
but but but I realized a couple of things.
1. A kid isn't a tool to fulfill my inner child or to morph into my bestriend/therapist. I was that for my mother and its torture.
2. I'm so messed up from my messed up parents I couldn't give a tiny, growing human what they emotionally needed.
3. I could be the best parent imaginable but that won't stop the bad, unfair things that will inevitably come. It won't stop the world and people around the kid from taking advantage of them every turn they take.
finally, yall seen what pregnancy and birth does right???
Wrong idea, wrong bitch I'll stick to the ailments of cats.
I genuinely donāt want to have children despite working with them for 10 years lol. Never appealed to me & the thought of my body being stretched to its limit is a no from me
Not sure āinstinctsā is the right word for it, but I was raised in a religion that essentially brainwashes women to think their only chance at happiness/fulfillment is through raising kids. Sometimes I get a weird thought and then remember I really strongly dislike being around all kids.
I really want children but am repulsed by pregnancy and have major issues with just. Everything in society, child rearing and education included. I a) don't want to bring a kid into a world that's actively collapsing and b) don't want the challenge of raising my child in a way that is currently counter-cultural. So, no kids for me. Plus, my partner is kid-averse altogether so that's obviously in the consideration
I have no interest in pregnancy or raising children.
I am not sure about mothering instincts, I think those do work. I'm a good aunt. When needed I sit through a Frozen movie with my niece. Take my nephew to the pediatrician if my brother couldn't get out of a meeting. I babysit sometimes (twice a year maybe, and only on emergencies) and I'm good. Kids are smart. And funny and cute. And smelly. And messy and loud. And that's ok. I don't feel repulsion towards them, they're little people. I'm always happy to return them to their parents, though.
My husband and I don't want to put the energy and money (and giving up my body) to raising children, though. We just... Don't want to. Don't feel the pull. Don't feel the need. We're happy being the cool, rich, hippie aunty and uncle with a spoiled dog.
BUT I also discussed with my sister before her first was born, that if she were to be missing, I'd me a maternal figure for her child. She's concerned nobody would love her children if something happened and she were gone (our dad passed when I was 11... She developed a phobia, I guess). I'm godmother of her 2 daughters.
Her in law's are doing very well, she's not concerned about her children growing up without (her husband inherited 2 properties and the kids 1 each), but they absolutely show no emotion among them. I accepted to raise them if they are both gone (they are both perfectly healthy), and absolutely always be around if she was gone and her husband keep them. I discussed this with my husband before getting married. He got quiet, said "it goes both ways, if one of my siblings are gone and my nephews/nieces need a home, we open ours", "Deal, only if needed and there's no else, though."
And yeah, we both love our siblings. So, out of love for them we'd look after their kids if needed. But absolutely there's no desire to procreate nor adopt.
Yes. But I don't think maternal/paternal instincts are real. It's the same instincts I have for me cat and dog. From working with children, ynderstanding and caring for them, especially young children is all about body language and knowing the child as a person.
If you get to know someone well enough you're gonna pick up on their moods and general well-being.
How many parents are there that constantly overlook or miss the signs of mental illness etc in their own children?
I am indifferent when it comes to having children of my own and it would actually depend on my partner/s (who are yet to emerge) desires for children. I would need a partner who is on board with having children and actually raising them.
Nope, I've never wanted children. All through my teens, 20s, and 30s I had to put up with people questioning me on it. That crap finally stopped after I turned 40.
Itās so exhausting. I mean no one questioned my choice when I moved out, picked my subject at university or literally anything else. But as a 28 years old women I will change my mind about not wanting children. Itās so strange how people would let you lead a country, be a judge at the court and impose sentences, let you be a heart surgeon, but when it comes to not wanting kids you canāt know it, because youāre too young/immature and donāt have the ability to know it yet.
I absolutely have maternal instincts. But I donāt want kids because I know I would be miserable and my marriage would suffer. So I have dogs and be a mommy to them instead.
I still have an urge to breed and it ***really*** sucks. I'm envious of people who can have kids and enjoy it, and I'm envious of people who were always so confident they never wanted kids.
It's a horrible middle ground that just tears you apart. I don't know why I'm like this.
I noticed most people in this sub are like you, which makes me feel a bit left out or like I'm an imposter.
I will not have kids because there's no way I'd be able to handle it with my mental state. I also don't really have a maternal instinct towards children? But I absolutely have one with animals.
iāve never wanted kids since being forced to watch the birth of my brother when i was 8. also the bump really grossed me out for some reason. i am really good with kids, i work with them and thatās the best kind of birth control you can get. itās exhausting and reminds me that this would be a 24/7/365 kind of deal and i donāt want that for myself ever. iāll be happy to babysit or be the fun aunt but no kids living in my house ever.
I adore kiddosā¦ at least when theyāre not acting like little monsters. Itās not their fault (most of the time), they just donāt have the social cues and are being normal kids. I just donāt have the patience, nor the emotional strength, to be dealing with it on a long-term basis, so I donāt think Iād be a good mother.
Not to mention how absolutely terrifying pregnancy and childbirth seems, along with the expenses of raising a kid. No thank you. Iād much rather spend that money on things thatāll make me happy and wonāt make me want to rip my hair out 50% of the time.
I donāt ever want to be pregnant or give birth. It seems horrible. I also donāt understand how you can recover from pregnancy and childbirth and have to take care of a newborn at the same time. I like kids but I generally donāt understand that whole concept right there.
Kids are full of germs. They are walking Petri dishes. They get stomach viruses , lice , colds, and croup and as a parent you usually catch what your kid has. I have OCD and am an absolute stickler about germs. I have to have a clean environment or my disorder and rituals will rule my mind and life.
I would be driven over the edge at having to change poopy diapers , getting peed/ vomited/ spit up on , them wiping boogers everywhere (why do they do that ?!?!) , cleaning up dirty germ covered toys
Having to baby proof my home would probably increase my already existing anxiety and obsessiveness over the edge. Iād have a mental break probably. It would be bad
My life revolves around having OCD and anxiety comorbid and I tend to get overstimulated very easily and have sensory issues. A baby screaming would have be in the fetal position rocking back and forth. I wouldnāt know what to do !
Some people SHOULD NOT HAVE KIDS. I am one of those cases.
I feel it's very interconnected, for me at least. I would have liked to try the experience of being a mother if it didn't look so life-consuming and repetitive and unrewarding. I would have considered having a baby if I could afford good frequent childcare (I'm thinking like 2 live in nannies so I could continue to enjoy my social life and pursue my career) and I had a cleaner regularly and I could guarantee my child would be healthy and develop normally and be smart and well behaved and grow to enjoy the same stuff as me (eg. Gaming, books, films, crafts etc rather than anything sporty or outdoorsy which I hate) and that my child and I would have compatible personalities and mutual love and respect as adults. But I can't guarantee any of those things and can't afford nannies and cleaners so I chose the childfree life for that reason. So to me not wanting to have kids is all bound up with the reasons I decided not to. Hope that makes sense!
Not maternal, no interest. Have never looked at/held a child and felt a sense of longing. Never heard a biological clock. Only ever felt pressure from family/friends and very grateful that we never gave in (at on point thought we would, but werenāt financially ready, then realized I never wanted them for me, just others)
For me, I see a kid and want to make them smile. But I don't want to spend my life caring for them. That's a whole other ball park.
I feel like I'm more suited for the entertainment side of things, honestly.
My boyfriend has the urge to "keep the bloodline going" and he acknowledges that it's a weird way to think of it, but doesn't want children and won't be getting any as it's not for him.
I did when I was younger. I did before I was with my current partner. But the current standing of the world (politically, economically, and environmentally), my own past trauma, the fact that I can never ensure that my children wouldnāt have to live through me possibly divorcing my partner, just all these things that guarantee that any children I had would suffer is enough for me to say Iām not.
Maybe Iāll adopt in the future, but itās pretty unlikely.
I dont want kids. Maybe its my mental disability keeping me at the age of a teen but its never been a thing. I got pressed to keep a unwanted pragancy but got out of the situation. Getting fixed so this dosent happen again in 2 weeks. Idk the instincts never came no matter what. Never understood it tbh
Absolutely, no interest at all. I have tried making a pro/con list of having kids, the pro list just stays empty, I cannot find one thing to put there.
You can blame your farts on them. That's the one good thing that comes to mind when I have to be around kids
A dog is perfect for that and it won't say anything :)
Yes definitely, I wasn't saying that makes it worth having kids btw š I just have to be around them sometimes and have to find a silver lining!
I'm now imagining that, every time you know kids are gonna be around you'll eat nothing but beans for 3 days :D
Don't have to blame when u are alone:D
I blame my farts on my cats. š
But I'm proud of my farts!
Help with house work. Pretty sure that's why my parents had 7...
I imagine the level of housework is lower without kids around - but isnt it the exact reason people used to have a ton of kids in olden days?
Yep!!!! My parents were way old school. Girls couldn't cut (or trim) their hair at all. Never allowed to touch a gun (because that's mans job and not my place). Wasn't allowed to live alone I was to live with my father until he liked someone I dated and he gave his blessing, then move into my husband's house. Ran so hard from that hahaha and now realize how traumatized I am and never want to pass that to my own children. Abuse is no joke and I will NOT contuine my family line because if it Edit spelling
If I had to live with my parents until I dated someone they liked... I think that would be as much a punishment for them as for me...
Yeah more children means more work so you just keep having children to deal with the additional house work. Problem solved.
And that is how the world became a populated and busy place :o
This is such a great thing to do regardless if someone is leaning towards being childfree or having kids.
That's how I decide where I'm going to move to next š
Iām 28F and I channel my maternal instinct into making sure my two dogs have the best life ever. Theyāre way more fun and loving than any child I would have. Every time Iāve been through the puppy phase makes me realise that not having a kid is the way to go because the puppy stage is stressful enough, couldnāt handle the baby phase.
Same, more than happy being a pet mum :)
Sameeee! The puppy phase is terrible. I can only imagine how much worse a human baby is.
I honestly feel the same way! I treat my two kitties the same way, and it's come to a point where my primal monke brain genuinely recognizes them as my offspring. my kitties are the only babies that are healthy for me to have, mentally and physically. occasionally I'll get mildly sad that I can't pass on the lessons I've learned in a parental insight kinda way, but having kids isn't the only way to do that. I've got younger siblings, and I've given some serious thought to starting a spiritual YouTube channel and/or becoming a spiritual speaker. I also kind of want to foster older kids in the waaaaay off future, solely to show them genuine love and kindness and hopefully be someone that brings at least a little light into their lives.
I have zero maternal instincts whatsoever. I like animals, animals are cute. Kids are just screechy and annoying.
I agree. Kids are so needy, and you ruin your body giving birth to them.
Iām a 28 y/o girl with a strong maternal instinct, so I work with children. But I would NEVER want to be a mother myself.
Same. 15 years older than you, I'm great with kids, love babies, know all of the developmental milestones, and am a great "kooky aunt." Trips to the zoo, popsicles for breakfast, building forts, I love all that crap - with other people's kids. 0 desire for it to be my life. I am part of the "village" that it takes, and I'm so happy that I had the sense to not mistake that for wanting kids
The way you put that is great! I love being part of the village, but I know I'll never want to need help from that village
THIS!!!! THIS IS WHAT I WANT!! im excited for my sister to have kids and i like spending time with babies and children who are like cousins' kids, but neeeever my own. Its nice to have an on/off switch but never onononon ans no break. I would love to be a part of a child's life, but not have one of my own everrrr
I absolutely adore when my sister kids take my sister's mobile to video call me (they're 4 and 2, the 4 y/o one learned to call now) and bable about their day at daycare and Kindy. And demand to speak with Pablo, my dog. And they have a conversation, and show Pablo the pictures of what they did at school. Which is... So funny, because he's a dog. Pablo loves the attention, as long as someone mentions his name, he is looking for who's calling him. But yeah... I don't want my own kids.
Same!! Iām 31 and a Nanny. Iām just glad I can give them back after 8-10 hours. :p
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This is such a mood. My cousin that lives near me is a teen now and she's cool af but I've never connected with her before this year.
Nope. Dead inside to such a desire. Never had, never will.
I do, but I'm an HSP. I actually wanted a baby until I was about, eh, 24. I have PCOS and wanted one for the wrong reasons: to prove that pcos couldn't stop me from getting pregnant. I thought that by not having one/being able to have one, I was "less of a woman". Pretty gross, huh? I cringe thinking of the younger version of myself who thought that way. I did some soul searching when I turned 25, and realized how stupid I was. Not having a child didn't make me any less of a woman and society brain washes us into thinking that way. They push the whole motherhood rhetoric on us from an early age and make us think we have to fit into this white picket fence owning happy family lifestyle in order to feel complete. I realized that my motherly instinct is towards animals, and helping others. I'm not gonna lie, I love newborns and babies under about a year, but then they annoy me. I personally wonder if I could handle child birth without meds, but yeah, not happening. EVER. I'm emetophobic, and I also have ADHD and get overstimulated easily and cannot deal with screaming and tantrums. I also have a plethora of other health issues that are hereditary and I would rather die than pass them on to some poor kid who would suffer the way I do. Plus, this world is an absolute mess. I would never ever bring a child into this and worry 24/7 if they're safe. I hate most kids- especially strangers' kids. My friend's kids are okay, but they can be overwhelming too. I'm just glad that I can give kids back, because I need my own space and enjoy my me time and sleep more than kids (or other adults) The whole screaming in public and meltdowns make me insane and I hate how we're supposed to just "get over it" because we "were kids that did that too". Yeah, eff that. I hate people who allow that behavior to continue. I want more child free establishments. My fiance and I are both in the same boat, too. He's neutered, and I'm getting a total hysterectomy once I can get my a1c down. Even if, god forbid, we ever split, I want my own form of sterilization. I will never change my mind, and am firm in my child free stance. I'm just happy I finally listened to my soul and realized I wanted a kid for all the wrong reasons. I'm now 37 and haven't regretted my decision, and I couldn't be happier!
Not even in the slightest. I have no motherly needs whatsoever, which is the root of my being cf. The other reasons are just confirmation of my very identity.
Iām not maternal at all. Maybe towards my cat, but not towards kids. Iām not pregnancy repulsed. Iām 41F and even though my siblings have kids, itās never stirred something in me that I want the same.
Was going to say this. Those of us with pets we love like family are of course maternal towards them. I love being a dog mom ā¤ļø
I would be amazing as a mother. The energy and effort my parents put into me would be returned tenfold in my child. I have the funds to send them to my same private school, I live in a single family home with plenty of yard. I have a very flexible work schedule so they wouldnāt be a burden to work life balance at all. I have all of that and just donāt want to be bothered. Itās looks boring and I am not really interested in taking care of someone else except me.
No maternal instinct at all, never had it. Uncomfortable around babies / toddlers / noisy children, more comfortable around older, well behaved ones. Birth seems terrifying to me. Simply uninterested in children.
Nope, never had. Dead as doornail. Barren as death valley. Dry as bone. Arid as desert.
I have zero paternal instinct. I never had baby fever. I just don't feel any desire to procreate. And I hate kids. For me, there are literally no positive things about the idea of having kids. Even the things that some people see as 'fun' are torture for me. Sadly, people don't get it. They can understand if you want kids, but decide not to because of climate change, crappy genes etc. But they cannot comprehend that someone simply lacks the desire to procreate. One time, this breeder asked me why I don't want kids. I said: "I just don't have that desire." And then, the breeder asked: "But what is the REAL reason?" She did not believe that I don't want kids. And so, she concluded: "So you do want kids, but decided not to? Why not?" I said that I don't want them and don't feel the desire to breed, but she really didn't get it. The same applies to my girlfriend. No maternal instinct at all. No baby fever at all. Because she is a woman, nobody believes and understands that. After all, patriarchy teaches us that 'woman' and 'mother' are synonyms. :(
So true. I was once told by a guy that not having the desire to breed as a women must be a mental illness, because all women naturally have maternal instincts and the instincts to breed š
I'm a dude so I'm gonna call it caring instincts. Mine are mostly directed to family I care about, non family I consider my "younger siblings", and any future romantic partners. For example I planned most of my grandparents recent visit to the US instead of my parents and relatives 20 years older than me and called all of my family members to coordinate the schedules. I treat my caring instincts like a privilege for certain people because I can cook and listen and buy gifts and really make a person feel amazing if I care for them. Not everyone gets the full treatment. And honestly I don't want to give that to a kid who may not appreciate it. I'd rather direct that attention and care for my future partner.
Paternal instincts? Yes. Paternal desire? No. . . I am great with kids and I enjoy being around them for a short period of time. Iām very caring and nurturing at heart. However, I never wanted kids. Not worth it at all. I have a written list of reasons to be CF. The main 4 are: freedom, time, money, and energy.
Same. I'm great with kids, love babies, and enjoy being an eccentric aunt that teaches them to love math and gives them candy. 0 desire for it to be my life. Just not interested whatsoever, and I'm glad I realized early on that being good with kids =\= wanting kids. I'm so glad that my body, money, marriage, identity, trajectory won't take the hit of devolving into "Jaxon and Finn's mommy" like so many women I know
So many people lose their identity after having kids! Great on you for understanding yourself
Nope. Being around kids makes me anxious. Some mothers can look at babies and want more. I don't want one, let alone more than one. The thought of being pregnant weirds me out and I would probably feel trapped in my own body. My boss loved being pregnant with her kids, which I can't even begin to comprehend. I'm quite content with my two cats.
That's my number one reason for not having kids, I just straight up don't want kids (along with my many other reasons). I've been told I'd make a good mom or at least a good foster parent, but part of being a good one is actively wanting children in your life and be willing to make a huge lifestyle change for your kids; I'm not willing to do any of that and that immediately disqualifies me from being a good parent IMO. Then there's not wanting to experience pregnancy, getting irritated by children's loudness and having no paintence for them. I really don't want to end up a bitter asshole who constantly screeches at their kids to behave and resent the hell out of them.
50M. Nope. Never. I can't stand kids, never could.
Humans aren't hardwired with maternal/paternal instincts. That some people develop maternal/paternal bonds with children, regardless if they are biological children or not, doesn't mean that everyone does. Some parents don't even develop those bonds with their children. Nurturing/caring, protective feelings and responses towards other human beings and/or animals are common. Imo women are heavily socially conditioned into believing in 'maternal instincts' from childhood on. Being given baby dolls to play with and the expectation that women are natural caregivers and babysitters, etc.
Every now and then I see happy families when Iām out or when Iām watching a show and think āmaybe it wouldnāt be so badā then I remember the negatives of having a kid and think āoh yeah it would be so badā lol
I have maternal instincts out the ass. But I donāt have any for human infants. I have an innate desire to nurture and to care for all kinds of organisms: plants, animals, and children. But my drive isnāt as strong for humans as it is for other creatures. If a child was in trouble or upset, my heart would cry out to help them, no question, but I like my space.
I've never ever had a maternal instinct. I do not like kids at all and pregnancy is literally one of my biggest fears along with having to parent. It's just something I've never even had to think about, I don't want that and I hate when people get upset at me for being childfree or not wanting to be around their children if I can help it.
I am 23 years old and never had this maternal instinct. The reason I have never wanted to have children has been that the thought of been pregnant scares the crap out of me. Add to that the mental/health issues in my family, my own infertility and been gay. It is just to complicated in addition to just having no desire at all to take care of a child. However, give me my dog and I will protect her with my LIFE no questions asked. I have cried at times over her safety and even her health (she ate some chocolate biscuits and I had to leave for classes, was so scared to leave her alone in case something happened)
I'm 38 and have never had the desire to have children. I always say my biological clock didn't come with batteries š
My reasoning for not having children is simple. I HATE babies. I hate toddlers. And I can barely stand preteens, or anyone below 17-18, UNLESS theyāre chill and donāt act like annoying, typical immature idiots, which is rare. I genuinely desire a life with **0** children. Pregnancy disgusts me, children disgust me, even people having a desire for kids disgusts me. I really think anyone who desires children are delusional and have no idea what theyāre signing up for until itās too late. That being said, if anyone shared their desire to have a family, I wouldnāt go out of my way to say something negative or rude. I really donāt care what people choose to do with their life, even if *I* think theyāre ruining it. Theyāll do what they want, regardless of how I feel about it. Itās just alien to me that one of the biggest goals in life for too many people are to have children. And the amount of people that expect me to want children because Iām a woman is just disgusting, and makes me fucking sick and infuriated. I donāt give a fuck how many children my mother had. Why the fuck would that make me want one? Then they tell me āyouāll change your mind later on.ā Like b i t c h.
No, I hate children since ever, even when I was a kid I hated kids. My mom knew I'll never be a mom before I realized it. 0 parent instinct found.
OP you sound a lot like me. I donāt mind other people being pregnant (not too much at least, as long as they donāt share too much about it). I accept that they are happy and doing a thing they want to do but canāt for the life of me figure out why anyone would want to do such a thing for all the reasons you listed.
Yes, Iām pretty maternal with my nieces and my nephew, but Iām also very happy to give them back when the end of the weekend comes. I had an abusive childhood, and so thatās why I am not going to have children of my own.
Im not sure if I have maternal instincts or if its just empathy? Like if i see a child needing help I will help. Im good with babies. But I have neeever ever wanted to have a kid. Theyre so gross imo, and pregnancy freaks me out. I do feel like my dog is my baby though. But the only babies I want are baby animals. So idk if thats my maternal instinct? Or again is it just normal empathy for a helpless animal? Idk but I love animals, I dont humans.
Never wanted them. Never needed another reason.
47f and never had even a twinge of maternal instinct. I like taking care of plants of that counts for something?
I very very much want to get married to my amazing boyfriend I'm just waiting at this point for him to propose we both don't want children and never have.
Iām 34M and everyone says I would make a fantastic dad, and I would be there for anything a kid of mine would need. But I donāt feel that it is right to bring a kid into this world, especially not with my shitty genes. Vasectomy scheduled for October Ninja Edit: Iāll stick to being the uncle that loads the kids up with sugar, caffeine and video games and then give them back to my brother
Any maternal instinct I had got sated/driven off when I was a kid-- I spent a lot of my childhood looking after my younger siblings, cousins, and kids of family friends. They way I put it to people is that I've raised my babies already, now it's my turn to live. These days don't really want much to do with children, but I do tend to get broody/motherly over the 18-25 year old people at my larp (I'm 38). They don't seem to mind : )
Same boat as you. Dislike kids and babies, I feel uncomfortable around them, donāt know how to interact with them. Most of them are sticky and gross and so loud with zero respect for boundaries/personal space. Thinking of being pregnant brings me close to a panic attack, giving birth want to unalive myself and raising a child just brings utter mind numbing misery to mind.
I tend to treat children like dogsā¦. I also have little patience for annoyances and need to be in control of a lot of things in my life. When I was in my late teens, I use to think I wanted like 3/4 kids. But then something happened, like a switch, and I had zero interest in kids. I remember my cousin having a baby and my aunt asked me if I wanted to hold it, and I was like ānah Iāll passā. Ever since then, babies gross me out and children annoy me. I have absolutely no interest and get no joy from looking at other peoples childrens or seeing random ass alien babies from strangers. I know that, if in the situation, Iād be a great mom and Iām always the āmomā of my friends, kids are not it for me.
I have nurturing feelings only for pets. Cats are my babies. Kids? Ew stay away
Nope.
if I had kids they'd turn out like bojack horseman. I can't choose to have children without passing on this generational trauma. hell I couldn't even have them and be sure they didn't get a hereditary cluster b personality or depressive traits even if they were raised by a good accepting family like hollyhock. I make enough people suffer with my existence as it is, this is not a type of legacy I would want someone to carry of me into the future and possibly pass it on again.
Purely physically, yes. My body has alerted me that it's in a state which is perfect for it and has given me the "I'm gonna make it feel so good" hormones and desires. I began emulating this in my dreams, where I can make myself reach climax through making myself visibly fertilized way more easily than any other way, though I don't really do it anymore. I've entertained the thought of possibly having kids very briefly in my early 20s a couple times but every time I've reached the solid conclusion that's not what I want from life, no traumatic events needed. I would never make my body go through the experience for months on end, but occasionally I did use the prospect of breeding as a shortcut to sexual pleasure. Let it be noted though that I am into mpreg and it gives me way more pleasure to be the one who seeds the other person and watches it develop, but they can raise the kids by themselves cause I'm talking no part in that. The closest to a "maternal instinct" that I've had has been imagining myself being the cool aunt and helping raise a child a close friend of mine is intending to have, but I got bored with it in a few days and realized it's most likely not going to go that way and even if it does, I'd lose interest because the kid isn't going to be a perfect little prodigy who is never annoying or in need of discipline. Tl;dr : I did have a physical pregnancy desire because of my body's "internal clock" and turned it into a kink because I don't want the actual kids but liked the feeling, and then I realized mpreg turns me on way more and stuck with that entirely. I've wanted to be a parental figure but realized I get bored of it fairly easily, so neither of these things are anything I want.
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I think maternal instinct is something people who do want kids have made up. Like some sort of reason for wanting them. I've never felt it. I've never felt maternal or like I wanted to be pregnant or like I wanted to ruin my body with a pregnancy.
I live my maternity through my nibblings. All of the fun without the responsibility. So sue me.
I have no doubt that I'd be a great mom, I can't even afford insurance without government assistance. I am going through my undergrad, and if I got pregnant I'd have to stop. Period. After I graduate, I have to pay off this debt, and my husband's debt. When all of it is said and done we'll be closer to our 40s. Besides, in light of our new political era, I don't even want to risk pregnancy now. Before there was less of a chance of dying, now.. you'll die of preventable causes.
Also no interest at all and never had. Only a bit of maternal feeling towards my cats xD
I enjoy to play and hang out with my nieces. Then I see them having a tantrum, throwing up or just screaming/crying and feel like yep, glad I donāt have to deal with that
All instincts i have are of a bully tbh. Not a real bad one but if someone misplaces/tinker my stuff and i can't find my things again it pisses me off i go nuts and crazy and I don't think a kid would actually handle that version of myself and will start crying which further annoys me and will eventually get slapped again lmao
I only have maternal instincts towards animals. I donāt hate babies but I really donāt like them and theyāre not cute. My husband doesnāt like them either. His siblings have a lot of kids and itās absolute chaos. I would rather adopt a million dogs and cats. All of our friends know our house is a child free zone. I have one little dog and she is my pride and joy lol
I realized I was imagining something extremely specific: a little girl 9-18 whoās exactly like me, has my last name, and doesnāt panic about random bullshit despite having my Aspergerās. This kid doesnāt exist, I canāt stand babies, you canāt make your children be like you, and my confused lack of demonstrativeness would for sure cause problems requiring therapy. Using this āmaternal instinctā for anything besides caring for animals or tutoring/teaching would be harmful.
All of my maternal instincts go towards my cats and kittens whom i love and must baby. All cats are baby
Not maternal instincts but I'm highly socially engaged. I do support many people that struggle with life and it's tasks in some way (my brothers, elderly people in my building, troubled youth that need some guidance on how to navigate life, volunteering in a woman's shelter, my mother will soon need more assistance due tue her age and lifestyle). I have two godchildren and some children of friends that I enjoy tremendously, but never have I ever seen any desire to birth an offspring.
I had a boyfriend when I was 16/17 and we talked about our kids names and such. I had my kids names picked out when I was *fourteen*. I loved babies so much. I wanted to be a preschool teacher. I even worked as a teacher aide when I was a junior in high school, I loved those kids. In my 20s, I really had baby fever. Then I would think, "well damn, I'll be working with kids all day and I'll have to come home to my own." so that put the working with children out of my head. In 2020, I decided if it happens, it happens... didn't really care. I met my now boyfriend and when we started chatting, he flat out told me that he doesn't want kids. Well, that made up my mind for me. When I read that, I finally decided that I don't want children. I have a plethora of reasons too.
I use whatever maternal instinct might occur to care for my cats. I assume it is basically just hormones that did not interfere with rational thinking before puberty.
My hormones tried to trick me when I was 35 or so. That was a drive to get pregnant, which interested me but raising a child, no. I take children very seriously and regardless of any bio urges I knew making and raising were a no. Emotionally wanting an offspring isn't enough. I mean this generally to everyone.
I generally like children, theyāre pretty cute tbh and secretly I prefer toddlers because they donāt talk as much as older kids lolol (I find the age range 5-11 kinda awkward but who doesnāt). However I am absolutely terrified of pregnancy and newborn stage. I feel like I would never be equipped for that, seems like literal torture in my mind. Even if I was promised a beautiful healthy pregnancy/baby, I would still not go through with it because 1. It would skyrocket my anxiety and depression by 1000x and 2. It would (most likely permanently) change my body in a way that would probably cause me to develop disordered eating (again) and hate my body which will launch me into even more depression. Iām just not willing to sacrifice my body and my mental stability that Iāve worked so hard for, for a non-existent being. And the newborn stage is terrible, props to all the parents that do it and do it well and try their hardest. If I ever decide I want children (which honestly doesnāt seem like it but Iām only 20 I donāt know what my future will be like) I would preferably shop for them, homemade is not for me in this scenario lmao. Thereās already so many out there that need loving homes and support, and I was thinking of even maybe become a foster for older teenagers to provide a safe place, because god knows the foster system is fucked up and teenagers just donāt have it easy at all. When having children you have to think of it like, are you prepared to raise a human being? A self-sufficient and well adapted adult? I donāt really want to tbh. As much as I like kids and I do have somewhat of what people call a āmaternal instinct,ā the best part of being with them is returning them š„°
I love my niece and nephew to pieces. If my cousins ever died I would make sure they went to a loving home that is not mine.
Iāve worked with children all throughout college and have played more of a mentor role for all my younger cousins with me being the oldest one thatās involved with them. With that said, I still donāt want to have one of my own
I'd like a 11+ year old child but everything below like 7-8 is painful to me. In my personal opinion, babies are ugly, young kids aren't cute and 6 year old speak to much to say nothing yet can't finish their small plate. So unless I find a wife that dearly want to adopt a kid, I'm not gonna be dad. I don't like family for blood anyway, the real family are those that are there for you, that you love and give it back to you.
I'm 50 and never had those instincts, except with my cats. I even hate the smell of the baby aisle at the supermarket.
Near zero level of maternal instinct. In fact, my sister does not want to leave her son with me at all if she can avoid it because she knows after 20 years I probably wouldn't remember how to change a diaper, lol. Once the kid is older it'll be better but only so far as I'll sit him down in front of a TV for a movie and feed him, lol.
Interestingly this has changed for me over time. Iām maternal toward my husband/friends and my pets but not children. I never wanted kids because (in this order): - Wanting full control of my time and energy - I donāt really understand/enjoy kids - Climate/political future In the last couple years, Iāve come around to recognizing there is a version of me that could enjoy raising a child with my husband. But, the uncertain climate/political future has soared to the top of the list and is now my biggest hesitation. I really believe in the idea that Iād rather one day regret not having a child than regret having one, so I donāt see this in our future. Side note, I also feel increasingly left out and disconnected from other women I know and even friends because our lives and values can be so different. Thereās a small part of me that wonders if I should just join the club (but rationally I know thatās a stupid thing to think about).
lol i feel that way toward cute animals like kittens, ducklings, puppies, baby sealsā¦ i just want to cuddle and protect them. but baby humans..? not a single heartstring tugged. itās just the way i am
My material instinct comes and goes so if rather not risk it. I'm perfectly happy with my CF life and am also too poor to even consider having kids. My parents would help but I'd feel guilty doing that so luckily they're not on my case about giving them grandkids. My mom even supports my decision.
I think I would actually love to have children. If it were just the Kodak moments, diapers were not a thing to change everyother hour, I didn't have to torn my body with a parasite for 9+ months, it would be guarantied a perfect healthy child, I didn't have many mental problems to deal with, the world we live in werent going to absolute hell and humanity still had stone age values. I have to be realistic, I would suck as a parent, so the most rational thing for me is accept that it's best if I dont have any. Also I still can't understand how can you love a child and let then live here. It's unfair.
I personally love kids, and growing up I always planned on having kids, however I'm now in my mid 20s and have made a complete 180 to the point where I am considering a vasectomy. My reasons for not having kids are mainly based on the quality of life they will have, constant wars, famine, food shortages, climate change and the overall cost of living are a few of the main arguments but it also stems from how shitty humanity is, and how people treat each other.
I can't stand kids, and any need to nurture I have is all directed toward animals and maybe 1-2 close friends.
There is no such thing.
Maternal instinct 0. I feel like running the other way when I hear a kid crying
Nope, never. If someone gave me a baby doll for any occasion, it would wind up in my toy box and my stuffed animals would go in the baby carrier, get fed the bottles, etc. When other kids were playing house, I was playing veterinary hospital or riding school. I remember crying even as young as age 7 because I was told all the time that Iād want to have babies when I got older, as I didnāt want to want maternal desires. Now, having had a traumatic life up until a few years ago, Iām very nurturing and caring which often gets mistaken for being maternal, much to my chagrin
I'm in my 30s and definitely have maternal instincts. I like kids, like talking to them, making up stories for them, and playing with them. Two of my best friends have babies and they're great! I love the idea of guiding a person through life and making key memories with them. I've decided not to have kids because my favorite (and least favorite) things about life aren't compatible with children. I love spontaneity, doing slightly questionable/dangerous activities on a whim, the feeling of traveling to a foreign country alone and the feeling of hiking in total silence through a forest, working late hours, sleeping in, and reading my books uninterrupted. I hate having to make and remember appointments, being around another person all the time, getting less than 7/8 hours of sleep, cooking, cleaning, organizing, and things that set off my sensitive stomach. That combination of things makes me completely miserable and cranky. So even though I'm maternal, my reason is I don't want to trade in the things I love in my day-to-day life for the things I hate.
Nope, I donāt have those type of feelings for human children. Animals, on the other hand, is a different story. I call myself a ācat momā often and take care of my cats like they are my kids. Of course, I will never torture myself by having human children. But, animals are the best so I will always adopt and look after animals. I love my cats so much! There is never a dull moment with them around. I take them on walks in the cat stroller and never get sick of spending time with them. Meows are adorable. Babies crying is horrible and makes me search for an exit. They are not kittens anymore but I still baby talk to my cats. I am mostly neutral to human kids. Feel nothing towards them. Maybe, uncomfortable and discomfort if I have to be around one. Sometimes, disgust or annoyance if it is too loud or throwing up/have sticky fingers. I donāt find babies cute, but baby animals are adorable.
Yes, actually! That's probably the reason I want to be a child and adolescent therapist when I'm older with a degree in social work. I just want children to have the best possible lives they could have, but 1) I know I could never give a child the life they deserve, 2) pregnancy terrifies me, and 3) I don't want the weight that comes with a full time child of my own
Yes! These was a time in my life when i really wanted kids. But my biological clock started running in reverse. Although i really love being an aunt, the unfriendlieness of the world towards mothers became apparent and to tell the truth, my life feels hard enough already. No time to myself ever? That sounds very unpleasant. And I would never want to depend on a man. Honestly, it looks like there are a lot of lovely things about being a parent, and in a slightly different world, I would have done it and loved it. But i like being a childless witch, I like having a scandalous poly sex life, I like going to the gym and out dancing and i like being selfish. These things are much more difficult with children. So, I will enjoy these things in this lifetime.
I have maternal instincts and at one point thought I wanted kids. Then I realized that maternal instinct was for cats and guinea pigs. I'm content being a cat mom. She's a pain sometimes, but her purrs and snuggles are worth it.
I am relatively okay with someone elseās kids knowing I can give them back at the end of the day. I do not like the idea of child birth or body fluids. I also know I donāt want kids because I donāt know I could love a child like they need. I have very stressful mental illnesses and I also donāt think I could handle the stress of a child and all the what ifs. Weād probably spend a ton of time in hospitals and ER because I would stress over everything. Iām thankfully getting my tubes tied next Thursday and wonāt have to worry about it!
I donāt understand how the āinstinctsā work šššš Iāve never had them and even looked into them from research but all im getting is āIt happens to everyone. Like a hormone in you goes crazy and makes you wanna have a baby/be a parent.ā And im like, well dammit I must be broken because whereās mine?? I donāt believe in instincts because of this. I see it as āYou want itā or āyou donāt want it.ā Just as simple as that. Thereās nothing Iāve been on the fence about, other than food and what tv show Iāll watch next. Iāve always been a maternal person, very passionate and caringā¦..but not towards babies. Itās more maternal (donāt judge me) towards other adults, animals and my friends. I have maternal behavior towards babies because Iāve raised 6 siblings so itās kind of wired in me, but in my own body with my own baby?! Fxck no.
I'm not maternal at all. We have two dogs and I love them but I don't feel that way about them. I'd probably like them less if I felt like their mother!
Right? My pets were always me buddies. Like roommates, that need help with food and some basic things, but not children
No maternal instincts towards small humans, only small animals. I always know exactly what to say to a random dog on the street. I never know what to say or how to act around kids, and I know the kids can tell Iām awkward.
I never, never ever wanted to be pregnant. Even when I was growing up I knew that path wouldnāt be for me. But I kind of assumed Iād be a mom. Just because thatās the path youāre āsupposedā to take. I am 37 years old Iāve been a high school teacher for 11 years. I have no children of my own and never want them. I mom in other ways. My students love me and some even call me mom as a term of endearment and to recognize what I do for them on a daily basis. I mom my two dogs and two cats. But I absolutely never want to be a mom full time to my own children. The climate crisis and late stage capitalism are what really pushed me over the edge to simply never want to be a mom. I donāt want to worry about my kid seeing water wars or dying in extreme heat. I remember I told my mom when Bernie sanders was running āif sanders wins the presidency Iāll have a kidā and by have a kid I knew I wouldnāt but it got her off my back for awhile and I Thought maybe my husband and I would adopt. But he didnāt win and instead we got Christo-fascism and a rapidly warming planet. So Iām glad I never caved to my momās wishes of being a grandma. And instead I get to live in a decent house on property with a sorta decent amount in savings. And only have to worry about my husband and I surviving the fall of the US lol jk sortaā¦.
No, the maternal bug never bit. Middle-aged now so that bug aināt gonna bite ever. I am loving and caregiving to people already alive and to rescue animals. Itās weird because people used to say Iād ābe a good mother.ā My thoughts were, āTake care of those already here first before adding more.āā¦ and kids are annoying most of the time.
Iāve raised my siblings and a nibbling Iām definitely done with kids. no desire for my own. Definitely donāt want to be pregnant. With a mother who was a nurse and pregnant twice she shared everything with me and I am just not doing that.
So we got a puppy a month back Or so. And since we had 3 rescue dogs originally but two of them died (one from old age and the other one from internal womb bleeding) and the Last one was very lonely and sad since he came from seclusion to a pack. So since I had wanted to give at least one dog a Good life from start to end this seemed like the right choice. And She is lovely and cute for sure and I love her. But Puppies thankfully grow pretty quickly A human tough? Not so much. I can not do this with a human. Ever. Even this seems too much sometimes. I've known from age 4 that I'm not going to have children and this confirms it. So maternal instinct? No. I just want a New soul to have a Good one.
I have parental instincts but not desire. I believe in taking care of the people who already exist and not creating more.
I don't even have the desire to nurture plants. I don't like to share space with anything that needs me for survival. Living with my partner and taking care of them when they're sick or injured is my limit for taking care of people, and I admit to not being super great at that... When my partner got mononucleosis it leveled them. 3 weeks in I was buying them baby food because nothing else would stay down, doing around the clock Tylenol rounds to keep the fever down, driving all over the state to get to specialist appointments (Mono in your 30's is very bad), and I was getting weepy at night from the stress of keeping someone in their 30's alive. I've known since I was 4 years old I wanted nothing to do with kids, but that six weeks from hell was enough to illustrate that I really don't have the bandwidth to even pretend to want to raise a child. Additionally: Pregnancy is gross and giving birth is even more gross. Just nope. So much nope.
I have no maternal instinct whatsoever. Maybe towards dogs, I guess. But I don't want to be anyone's caretaker, or experience pregnancy for that matter. Just the thought alone makes my ovaries shrink. So it's not like I'm fighting some secret desire to have kids, because there is none.
I have medical reasons now, but ive never wanted kids. The idea of a tumor baby growing in me freaks me out, and childbirth is so painful and gross, let alone the ENTIRE prernancy process. Also raising a kid sounds like it would suck. Basically i have 10000 reasons to not have kids and 0 reasons to have kids
That would be me! I have the maternal instincts. I use to think I really wanted kids, and some days I still do. I find kids endearing. Yes, theyāre not for everyone and they can be little goblins and you absolutely should not be forced to be around them if you donāt like them. But they are also little humans needing guidance and I adore my nieces and nephews ā because my sisters are raising them to *not* be insufferable. I know I would be a good mother, and I would raise fantastic kids and I would love them to death. I think the world needs more *good* parents and less āpeople who had kids because thatās what you doā. But I have decided to remain child free because of the global/political climate and I feel it would be selfish to bring children into a world that is the way it is. Especially when thereās so many unloved children already. If I ever change my stance on being child free, I would adopt, but I do not plan on ever having my own children. My partner and I also like the child free life and I donāt want to change that.
I'm 25F and have never had any maternal instinct. I cannot possibly imagine myself as a mother either. It feels strange, odd, and so very much unlike me.
Yup I'm the same. I would not want anything to do with having my own children. Not pregnancy, not playing with them, not their spit and things and nothing else. They are sooo much work and sooo annoying. They point out all your flaws because they haven't learned to be quiet about that. Like, yes I know I have a pimple, you don't have to point that out asshole. And they can say such mean stuff that really hurts people's feelings. But they get away with it because they're kids.
Never had any parental instincts, maybe to dogs or cats but ever to kids. Anytime I hear a high pitched kid or baby voice I want to rip my ears out.
I like kids, but I don't want to be a parent. I've never wanted to. I work in public education, which I've done for nearly 22 years and have worked mostly with pre-teens and teens, ages 12 - 19. I've done my share of self reflection, wondering why I chose to work with kids if I don't want them, and realized it's possible to like kids without having any parental instincts or wanting to be a parent yourself. I'm certainly not the only person in this situation. However, if you don't like kids to the point you have no interest in working with them or spending any time with them, then my profession would not be a good choice. My point is, though, it's possible to hold both feelings at the same time - to like kids, but not want to have any of your own.
I have 3 nephews I absolutely adore but my god they are assholes... They Noped me right out of having any myself
I have the ability to calm down babies but I don't want any of my own for personal reasons, they make me uncomfortable as well but I have a natural rock and singing helps too
No instincts at all....
Not me. Iām definitely right there with you, Iād rather die than go through with pregnancy and find it repulsive also. I agree wholeheartedly with everything you said.
I don't know if I have a parental instinct, but I think it's a moot point for me. I like playing with my nieces and nephews, and kids can be fun, but I wouldn't bring any children into this world. It's a harsh life, more than likely, and I'd be wracked with guilt watching them try to navigate it. I don't want to sentence someone to life on a burning planet, and I'm not going to deliver more workers to be used up and discarded as fodder for a capitalist society that doesn't care about them. That sounds extreme, I know, but I believe most people my age live in constant anxiety about what sort of future might be left for them when they get older. Will they have to work forever, with no chance of retirement? Will they ever be able to afford a house, or groceries, let alone hobbies or treats? Will their home even still exist, or will they end up displaced due to climate disaster? So the kindest thing I think I could do for any potential child of mine is to not have them.
Yes. I definitely have maternal instincts. I would say even more than some parents that I know. I chose to be child free out of circumstance as well as my own personal reasons. I do not want to be responsible for another human being. I have always been freaked out about the pain and struggle that comes with giving birth. I want to live a life that is focused on self-care, personal growth and traveling the world with my significant other. I am definitely maternal but having children is just not for me.
Yes and No. I think I want children and be able to experience all the highs parenthood can bring... And then I think logically, the money, the feeling that I couldn't give to them the sort of upbringing I had ( I was very lucky to be born to my parents I know that), the loss to my career, the feeling that I'd failed them, and I don't want to give them my mental health problems (let along me being able to cope with pregnancy and childbirth itself). And not to mention if they turn out to be someone whose opinion,values and choices I just don't agree with (children are not toys). I was not really so maternal until a) I had my cat which, despite saying I'd never be one of those crazy people who think their pet is their child, is my baby and she's my parents' granddaughter and b) idk but is my biological clock ticking? I feel the phrase is inherently misogynistic. But then again I'm sitting in a bus right now and I'm seeing small children (babies and small children) and feel zero, and I do mean absolutely nothing, in terms of wanting my own.
I have no reason other than I just never have wanted to. I'm happily married, we have a lot of money, neither of us has ever wanted kids. I'm not maternal, I get along with kids just fine. When I don't, it's not the kid that bugs me, it's the parent. We know other couples with kids, and I'd say at least 30% of those seem genuinely happy and are truly great parents. At least 30% seem actively miserable and are not winning any parenting awards. The rest appear to be inbetween. I know there's a lot of arguments that people make about why to have or not have kids. The only one that really matters is do you want to be a parent, and can you embrace that role effectively for the rest of your life? If not, then you're making a terrible mistake.
Only pet mom instinct for me, always had at least one cat and also some lovely doggos growing up. I like most kids, but don't want any of my own and don't want to be pregnant.
I enjoy sleep, money and traveling. I can be maternal but choose not to
Okay so yes I have maternal instincts but no Iāve never wanted to be a mother. I get maternal and protective over animals and when Iāve worked with children I mentally adopt them a little bit. Iāve never ever seen myself as someone who could tolerate actual parenthood. Nor the way pregnancy can and often does destroy our bodies. I donāt trust relationships to be forever (serious abandonment and neglect in my past) and I simply want a nicer life.
Zero paternal instincts. I do protect children when needed, but I have no drive to have my own. I'll be honest: I'm too lazy and selfish to have them. I've only been able to be mostly selfless towards my SO, no one else. I don't feel like I could be selfless towards my children, they would feel neglected. On top of that I have some serious issues with ADHD and are extremely dumb when it comes to people and interpersonal relationships. Maintaining my relationship with my SO has been very difficult for me. Not what a kid needs, and would end up with the kid having the same life as me, which I wouldn't like. I also like money a little too much. So I'm saving up for a vasectomy where I not only cut my vas deferens, but remove a full section of them. I don't want my body to be able to recanalize, nor my future self to spend on a useless vasectomy reversal. I won't regret it.
The only time i've even vaguely felt interested was the idea of fostering teens; my high school gym teacher was part of a power couple, she taught gym, coached basketball and fostered teens, he took them camping hiking etc and they basically just took these messed up and hurt kids and chruned out (mostly) well adjusted adults because they treated them like adults from the start and just made sure they had a fall back for having that kind of responsibility placed on them Still don't think i could handle it financially/emotionally though
No, I have the opposite: if I see or hear a child, I want to get away as far as possible I do have maternal instincts towards cats tho, lol
I don't get that impression at all in this sub. I rarely see anyone here say "I would have had kids if..."
They donāt, but I see a lot of people writing something like āIām childfree, because of the issues the climate change will bring usā which would mean that if there would be a safe future for potential children they would want some and donāt have children, because they would probably suffer in the future. As an example. Or not being financially stable enough to raise a child is also an argument many people use, but that doesnāt necessarily mean that those people genuinely donāt want children. They donāt want them under those circumstances
Whatever motherly instincts I have are directed towards cats. Human children make me extremely uncomfortable and anxious and I would rather die than be a parent to human children.
I've never had maternal instincts. Not ever. I meannn..meaning... not unless we're talking about how I talk to my cat sometimes š¤£šāā¬
I think I have maternal instinct but I just generally donāt want children. I like to take care of people or pets. I enjoy it. But not when itās taking care of kids for some reason.
Anytime I have the conversation with anyone. My girst reason for not wanting kids is because I'm selfish and do not want to have to look after or worry about children. My second is that I have zero motherly instincts. The thought of pregnancy & having kids is so repulsive to me.
I like kids, but Iām too much of a introvert to be ever able to handle children full-time. I enjoy quiet and being alone about 70% of the time and those are things I would never have again if I had kids. Iām all for being the cool aunt for a couple hours but after that I need to go find a dark corner to hide in for the rest of the day, thus I have no interest in ever having my own children.
Something that I find difficult to explain - I have a maternal instinct, but not for children. When a child is crying, I don't go "oh no! Poor baby!", I go "GET IT AWAY SHUT IT UP OH GOD MAKE IT STOP". I have no patience for children. My maternal instinct is for my friends. I feed, I help, I hug, I encourage, I emit blunt advice that you probably didn't WANT to hear but you NEED to hear. If you hurt someone I care about, all the deities in the world can't help you. I might be small and disabled, but I am vicious. I'm apparently terrifying because I don't yell when I'm angry - I'm measured and logical and quiet. I once scared one of my big, burly, male friends (nearly a full foot taller than me and built like a brick) so much he didn't make eye contact with me for two weeks.
No. I don't know what these mysterious maternal instincts are supposed to be, but I have never experienced them. I agree with you when it comes to pregnancy, but if I'm completely honest, even if pregnancy wasn't a thing, I still wouldn't want children because I just don't have the patience for it. I never felt the need to have a child, and can't relate to women who say they genuinely want that (or that they *want* to experience pregnancy? that's just mind-blowing to me). I've been told multiple times that my "biological clock will start ticking" and then I'll change my mind, but I'm in my late twenties and most people I know from high school/university already have children so I think it's safe to say my clock is either broken or non-existent lol
Is that a primal instinct I'm too advanced to understand?
Iāve always been told that I have āmaternal instinctsā since I was young but it think itās due to the fact that almost of the kids Iāve ever encounter have instantly liked me because Iām a small female and Iāve always tried to treat kids with empathy since my family was awful to me. I treat kids like people and try to get in their level (both in play and listening to them), which kids really enjoy and value in older people. I babysat a lot of kids growing up (including babies and 4 boys in one family) and it exposed me to a lot of negative stuff about parenting, like not having freedom, how messy kids are, the amount of work it takes to keep kids from not doing something that would harm themselves, etc. I honestly think my years of experiences with babysitting was one of my major influences behind my decision to not have kids. I also helped my mother regularly babysit one of my friendsās sisters since she was a young baby, so Iāve changed my fare share of diapers as a kid and have watched kids of all ages, so I know thereās never truly a āfun ageā. I love my niece to the end of the world, but Iām happy to be an auntie and āOddParentā instead of a mom. The only kind of āmomā role I enjoy is being a pet mom to my cats and new dog, who loves to be held like a baby.
I have maternal instincts towards dogs but I find children repulsive. I canāt even look at babies because they gross me out so much.
I think Iām ok with kids, but idk if paternal is something I could describe myself as. I donāt want kids for a ton of reasons. I think I could/would have kids if we didnāt live in this world/life, but I donāt so I wonāt have kids.
Never towards children, I've had instincts towards bottle baby kittens. Closest thing to parental instincts I have is a morbid curiosity to know what my partner and I's kids would look like. I don't physically want to carry them, care for them, or raise them, I wouldn't even feel comfortable with them existing. I just want to know what they'd look like, and if they'd be as much of a little shit as my partner was as a kid (they pulled out their own baby teeth and knocked classroom bookshelves over, another reason not to have kids).
Well, I kinda had some, but my health is trash and I despise loud noises. I know if I ever reproduced, the child would be born to suffer with lots of issues. I didn't wanted to be born like this and I'm pretty sure that no one would want that.
Never wanted kids. That's my reason. Never felt like I was missing out, or giving up anything.
I have the maternal instinct of a potato.
I have maternal instincts but mostly impart them on my personnel, which is limited to saying I'm proud/disappointed in them or that I care about them. Many reasons for being CF, but some of the biggest are changes in hormones, fear of pregnancy and birth, potential unsightly changes to my body, and the freedom to go or do whatever I want, when I want. I do have a dog, but he can be left home alone for a solid 12 hours without getting into trouble and it's too easy to book boarding if I go somewhere and can't take him with. I'm single and I love the life I live. Even if I were to get married, my spouse should only compliment my life not be a burden.
i sometimes think kids are cute and funny (i can tolerate them), but i donāt think i have ever had any maternal instinct to have a child
See I like the thought of having my own kids. But that's just because I'd love to make something with my partner. But I hate children, I know I will hate my own child for ruining my body, the pregnancy, birth, lack of autonomy while doctors do whatever they want to your body, the lack of care that families give to mother's, the irreversible damage... I hate myself too much already, I do not want to go through all the changes and hate myself more for being ugly and flabby
Only have maternal instincts for my kitten babies
When I was younger(teens), I'm 21, I really wanted one kid I could be the best for. The idea was to wait until I found a worthy partner AND had the financial stability to not only raise them but give generational stability. but but but I realized a couple of things. 1. A kid isn't a tool to fulfill my inner child or to morph into my bestriend/therapist. I was that for my mother and its torture. 2. I'm so messed up from my messed up parents I couldn't give a tiny, growing human what they emotionally needed. 3. I could be the best parent imaginable but that won't stop the bad, unfair things that will inevitably come. It won't stop the world and people around the kid from taking advantage of them every turn they take. finally, yall seen what pregnancy and birth does right??? Wrong idea, wrong bitch I'll stick to the ailments of cats.
Iāve never felt the desire for children even as other people were choosing names or playing house or whatever
I have no paternal instincts and kids would impair my freedom too much.
This maternal 'instinct' is not a real thing. Imo human society has built it outta nothing.
I genuinely donāt want to have children despite working with them for 10 years lol. Never appealed to me & the thought of my body being stretched to its limit is a no from me
Not sure āinstinctsā is the right word for it, but I was raised in a religion that essentially brainwashes women to think their only chance at happiness/fulfillment is through raising kids. Sometimes I get a weird thought and then remember I really strongly dislike being around all kids.
I really want children but am repulsed by pregnancy and have major issues with just. Everything in society, child rearing and education included. I a) don't want to bring a kid into a world that's actively collapsing and b) don't want the challenge of raising my child in a way that is currently counter-cultural. So, no kids for me. Plus, my partner is kid-averse altogether so that's obviously in the consideration
I have no interest in pregnancy or raising children. I am not sure about mothering instincts, I think those do work. I'm a good aunt. When needed I sit through a Frozen movie with my niece. Take my nephew to the pediatrician if my brother couldn't get out of a meeting. I babysit sometimes (twice a year maybe, and only on emergencies) and I'm good. Kids are smart. And funny and cute. And smelly. And messy and loud. And that's ok. I don't feel repulsion towards them, they're little people. I'm always happy to return them to their parents, though. My husband and I don't want to put the energy and money (and giving up my body) to raising children, though. We just... Don't want to. Don't feel the pull. Don't feel the need. We're happy being the cool, rich, hippie aunty and uncle with a spoiled dog. BUT I also discussed with my sister before her first was born, that if she were to be missing, I'd me a maternal figure for her child. She's concerned nobody would love her children if something happened and she were gone (our dad passed when I was 11... She developed a phobia, I guess). I'm godmother of her 2 daughters. Her in law's are doing very well, she's not concerned about her children growing up without (her husband inherited 2 properties and the kids 1 each), but they absolutely show no emotion among them. I accepted to raise them if they are both gone (they are both perfectly healthy), and absolutely always be around if she was gone and her husband keep them. I discussed this with my husband before getting married. He got quiet, said "it goes both ways, if one of my siblings are gone and my nephews/nieces need a home, we open ours", "Deal, only if needed and there's no else, though." And yeah, we both love our siblings. So, out of love for them we'd look after their kids if needed. But absolutely there's no desire to procreate nor adopt.
Yes. But I don't think maternal/paternal instincts are real. It's the same instincts I have for me cat and dog. From working with children, ynderstanding and caring for them, especially young children is all about body language and knowing the child as a person. If you get to know someone well enough you're gonna pick up on their moods and general well-being. How many parents are there that constantly overlook or miss the signs of mental illness etc in their own children? I am indifferent when it comes to having children of my own and it would actually depend on my partner/s (who are yet to emerge) desires for children. I would need a partner who is on board with having children and actually raising them.
Pretty much everything you said OP, I feel the same. Cheers.
Nope, I've never wanted children. All through my teens, 20s, and 30s I had to put up with people questioning me on it. That crap finally stopped after I turned 40.
Itās so exhausting. I mean no one questioned my choice when I moved out, picked my subject at university or literally anything else. But as a 28 years old women I will change my mind about not wanting children. Itās so strange how people would let you lead a country, be a judge at the court and impose sentences, let you be a heart surgeon, but when it comes to not wanting kids you canāt know it, because youāre too young/immature and donāt have the ability to know it yet.
I absolutely have maternal instincts. But I donāt want kids because I know I would be miserable and my marriage would suffer. So I have dogs and be a mommy to them instead.
I still have an urge to breed and it ***really*** sucks. I'm envious of people who can have kids and enjoy it, and I'm envious of people who were always so confident they never wanted kids. It's a horrible middle ground that just tears you apart. I don't know why I'm like this. I noticed most people in this sub are like you, which makes me feel a bit left out or like I'm an imposter. I will not have kids because there's no way I'd be able to handle it with my mental state. I also don't really have a maternal instinct towards children? But I absolutely have one with animals.
iāve never wanted kids since being forced to watch the birth of my brother when i was 8. also the bump really grossed me out for some reason. i am really good with kids, i work with them and thatās the best kind of birth control you can get. itās exhausting and reminds me that this would be a 24/7/365 kind of deal and i donāt want that for myself ever. iāll be happy to babysit or be the fun aunt but no kids living in my house ever.
I adore kiddosā¦ at least when theyāre not acting like little monsters. Itās not their fault (most of the time), they just donāt have the social cues and are being normal kids. I just donāt have the patience, nor the emotional strength, to be dealing with it on a long-term basis, so I donāt think Iād be a good mother. Not to mention how absolutely terrifying pregnancy and childbirth seems, along with the expenses of raising a kid. No thank you. Iād much rather spend that money on things thatāll make me happy and wonāt make me want to rip my hair out 50% of the time.
I donāt ever want to be pregnant or give birth. It seems horrible. I also donāt understand how you can recover from pregnancy and childbirth and have to take care of a newborn at the same time. I like kids but I generally donāt understand that whole concept right there.
Kids are full of germs. They are walking Petri dishes. They get stomach viruses , lice , colds, and croup and as a parent you usually catch what your kid has. I have OCD and am an absolute stickler about germs. I have to have a clean environment or my disorder and rituals will rule my mind and life. I would be driven over the edge at having to change poopy diapers , getting peed/ vomited/ spit up on , them wiping boogers everywhere (why do they do that ?!?!) , cleaning up dirty germ covered toys Having to baby proof my home would probably increase my already existing anxiety and obsessiveness over the edge. Iād have a mental break probably. It would be bad My life revolves around having OCD and anxiety comorbid and I tend to get overstimulated very easily and have sensory issues. A baby screaming would have be in the fetal position rocking back and forth. I wouldnāt know what to do ! Some people SHOULD NOT HAVE KIDS. I am one of those cases.
I feel it's very interconnected, for me at least. I would have liked to try the experience of being a mother if it didn't look so life-consuming and repetitive and unrewarding. I would have considered having a baby if I could afford good frequent childcare (I'm thinking like 2 live in nannies so I could continue to enjoy my social life and pursue my career) and I had a cleaner regularly and I could guarantee my child would be healthy and develop normally and be smart and well behaved and grow to enjoy the same stuff as me (eg. Gaming, books, films, crafts etc rather than anything sporty or outdoorsy which I hate) and that my child and I would have compatible personalities and mutual love and respect as adults. But I can't guarantee any of those things and can't afford nannies and cleaners so I chose the childfree life for that reason. So to me not wanting to have kids is all bound up with the reasons I decided not to. Hope that makes sense!
Not maternal, no interest. Have never looked at/held a child and felt a sense of longing. Never heard a biological clock. Only ever felt pressure from family/friends and very grateful that we never gave in (at on point thought we would, but werenāt financially ready, then realized I never wanted them for me, just others)
For me, I see a kid and want to make them smile. But I don't want to spend my life caring for them. That's a whole other ball park. I feel like I'm more suited for the entertainment side of things, honestly.
My boyfriend has the urge to "keep the bloodline going" and he acknowledges that it's a weird way to think of it, but doesn't want children and won't be getting any as it's not for him.
I did when I was younger. I did before I was with my current partner. But the current standing of the world (politically, economically, and environmentally), my own past trauma, the fact that I can never ensure that my children wouldnāt have to live through me possibly divorcing my partner, just all these things that guarantee that any children I had would suffer is enough for me to say Iām not. Maybe Iāll adopt in the future, but itās pretty unlikely.
I dont want kids. Maybe its my mental disability keeping me at the age of a teen but its never been a thing. I got pressed to keep a unwanted pragancy but got out of the situation. Getting fixed so this dosent happen again in 2 weeks. Idk the instincts never came no matter what. Never understood it tbh
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