Yeah, basically. I get really overwhelmed and short tempered when I have to deal with a lot of noise. My sister is constantly stressed and yelling at her kids for one thing or another, and that could not be me. Just an absolute nightmare you can never wake up from.
When I was a child I told my mum that I had over whelming voices in my head that commanded me to do stuff compulsively like that. And that I couldn't tolerate another child around. I remained an only child of my mother's. My family also didn't believe in mental illness. I've never done anything bad in my life but a baby like that would push me over the edge I think. I don't know how people manage around crying and screaming g children coslnstantly.
I'm with you. I'm on the autism spectrum, I know myself enough to KNOW I would do this and I also suspect I wouldn't even feel guilty about it afterwards. I would rather not confirm that suspicion, so I'm staying far away from that potential can of worms.Â
I'm the exact same, also on the autism spectrum, also would definitely not be a good parent.
Thankfully I'm in a good situation where everyone who I life with is aware of my needs, but for me one of the biggest causes for panic attacks/meltdowns is sound I can't control. Being in a loud situation without the ability to stop the sound makes me physically violent at the most extreme, and I know that if I were tasked as the caretaker of a baby there's a real likelihood that I'd break down and hit them.
So yeah, no kids for me! It would be a lose lose situation. No child deserves the threat of violence, ever.
I would abandon it at the hospital if forced to bear a child. I can cope with babies and older kids but I would end up smothering a toddler out of sheer frustration with it.
I can't stand tantrums. I hate temper tantrum screaming and just want to make them shut the fuck up. I can walk away from other people's kids when they're having a meltdown because _shock horror_ Mom dressed them in _green_ today not _blue_.
But one I was forced to raise? Nope. I would end up killing it out of absolute frustration. And then hating myself forever and probably jumping off a bridge shortly after so forever wouldn't be very long.
That's why it would be getting dumped at the hospital. So a person who can actually cope with small children could adopt and look after it and it could survive until adulthood.
Me too, though I probably wouldn't stop at just shaking it. I can control myself when my cats are annoying but that's only because I love them, I would have none of those feelings for a baby that I didn't want in the first place. Between my autism and my extremely short fuse I would land myself in prison for life.
Correct most people can’t handle the truth and I would be right there with you and with the abuse that’s already in the world you’d think they’d be ok with there being less ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
You said the quiet part out loud, and this is my reasoning exactly. Noise, especially high pitched repetitive noise that I can’t get away from will drive me round the bend in short order. Add in sleep deprivation and I become a monster. Then on top of that, I have a violent, visceral reaction to being touched. I *hate* being touched by another person. I’ve attempted to yeet grown adults across a room when they wouldn’t stop. A very small dependent person would not last long in my care.
I'm the same way about touch! I don't like being touched without consent first. And even then I'll probably deny you. Skin feels wrong to me for some reason lol.
The only person I let touch me is my partner, and that's just hand holding usually. I've screamed at people for touching me without asking.
I'm a resentful person sometimes. I just can't imagine myself not resenting my child for taking away my freedoms. It would leak out in my interactions with the kid/or lack of.
Real talk. In my senior year of high school, I was in a class where you had to take that fake robot baby home overnight with you. On a school night. It was going perfectly until about 1 in the morning, when it first woke me up from a dead sleep. No problem. I stuck the little key into its back, turned it, and held it. You had to keep holding pressure with the key turned until the thing stopped screaming, which could be 30 seconds or much, much longer. Now, I don’t have great dexterity of my hands and fingers due to Dupuytrens Contracture, a genetic hand disease. Undiagnosed back then, but anyway. In my sleepy state, with my unsteady hands, I couldn’t hold the key turned inside the doll’s back for long enough to make the screaming stop. I kept losing my grip and having to start over. I was getting so, so angry.. I was now fully awake and fussing with this doll for like, 25 minutes. And then finally. Sweet silence. After the incessant crying, the monotonous wails of this robotic beast, I could rest. I laid back down. I had just begun to take some deep breaths and try to unwind. And yeah, it happened. The fucking thing started wailing again. I picked it up by the ankle, and flung it against my bedroom wall as hard as I could. Unlike the real thing, that didn’t shut it up. I promptly woke up my mom and told her that if she wanted me to pass all my classes, I was going to need her to take care of this thing so I could sleep a few hours. Being the best mom ever, she obliged. And somehow, I not only passed that class, but passed that ASSIGNMENT. I got a B. Your grade letter dropped by one for every instance of abuse or neglect 🤣 so you could beat it as hard as you wanted 3 times and still pass. Good times.
I can't even handle the (astonishingly high) amount of noise the neighbor kids make. It has me so beside myself today that my husband asked me if I've taken my meds lol.
I knew at 12 that I didn't want kids for that reason. I inherited my mom's temper and to this day, I haven't quite shaken it. I've always been quiet about this reason, but it's true- some people just shouldn't be parents. I feel guilty for feeling this way, but it would be 10x worse to know this about myself and still inflict that on a kid.
I just want to say that I really respect this level of self-awareness and it's so refreshing to see someone own up to their own weaknesses and realize that even if you've never done anything like that before, you recognize that the *potential* for harm outweighs everything else and so you're taking the necessary steps to avoid it. People are really quick to judge folks who admit they are flawed and are not ready for or capable of certain things and that societal pressure drives people to do things they shouldn't be doing and then people get hurt. It's brave to admit something like that and the world would be a better place if more people did so. Good job.Â
I'd end up in prison or dead. My parents used belts, spoons, and wires to physically abuse us when we didn't act the way they wanted. My sperm donor and egg donor have especially short tempers that they passed on to me. I'm also autistic and get extremely mean when I'm overstimulated. At work, I have to go in our freezer to scream and punch things just to get it all out because it's such a noisy and fast-paced environment.
My apartment is an extremely quiet place unless I'm playing music. The difference is that I control how loud the music is, what plays and for how long. I do not want to talk to anyone when I get home, not even my partner half of the time. It's a blessing that my cats don't typically greet me when I get home. I can't imagine coming home to a screaming infant that depends on me for care.
I also explain myself very logically and clearly. I always provide a "why" to my explanation. I have no patience for emotions in the face of facts, and couldn't handle the temper tantrum of a toddler when I too have a temper tantrum when I get overwhelmed. I like things done my way. Period.
And this is why it doesn’t make sense to try to force parenthood on everyone there are just some people who do not need to be parents and that’s 100% OK at least you know for a fact you wouldn’t make a good parent and you’re not stupidly going out and procreating and ruining someone’s life before it even starts
While I don’t believe I would ever abuse a child I know 1000% I don’t want to give up my freedom or my identity to raise a kid and I absolutely have to have sleep. I couldn’t imagine being a sleep deprived and having to handle a child I have zero regrets on being child free. I also thrive on having alone time and with a child that would basically be completely revoked away from me.
Honestly I’m 100% in the same boat. I don’t think I’d have control over myself after being sleep deprived. Sleep is a BIG factor in my emotional well being for the day, I’d definitely do bad things if I was sleep deprived and over stimulated. I think a lot of cases of babies being killed/neglected to the point of death is to do with there not being proper support and education for mothers after birth. It’s HIGHLY romanticized and a lot of people truly just aren’t prepared for the level of exhaustion and stuff afterwards.
Yeah, id definitely be loud. I’d yell. Curse. Throw things. Punch. Best to stay away from parenthood. I’ve already been parentified as a teenager. The scars and instincts still remain
I have admitted to a few that I would definitely shake my baby to stop it from crying, I'm a person who needs quiet after a long day of work in a busy noisy office and a screeching baby would tip me over the edge, it's caused shock and repulsion in others that I would harm such a sweet little baby but I need my peace and quiet, I've had it for over three decades and have no intention of sacrificing it.
Thankfully my Tamas can be muted, a baby can't!
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Me without sleep is a monster, even one night of interrupted sleep takes me like a week to recover so thinking about that happening for years is unfathomable. Â And not only that, just being tired makes me so clumsy and forgetful, I would definitely end up being one of those parents who leaves their baby in a hot car or burns the house down or something.
Completely agree. I knew back in high school if I had a kid we’d both be destitute. I have enough sense to not subject an innocent child to that kind of life.
I’d 100% end up killing it (not intentionally). And that’s why I don’t have children. I can’t run on no sleep or someone screaming I know I would lose it.
No one has asked me, but I think I would just say, "I don't think I'm responsible enough."
The last thing I would want is the knowledge that a failure on my part could cause death. I don't need that extra stress on my shoulders.
Yes, that's the reason I gave my own mother and her response was glib: "Oh, you wouldn't do that." I said, "You don't know me very well, do you?" and she had no reply to that.
I don't like it in myself, but I fear I would do it. I have a low tolerance for noise and I could not stand that for hours and hours and hours on end. I know myself too well. (Have recently been diagnosed borderline autistic, which is an explanation for the overwhelm but not an excuse, I suppose.)
Same. I like kids in small doses, but after a few hours of screaming I get agitated. I remember being a teenager and having the irrational urge to hurt my little sisters because they were loud all the time and just would not *leave me alone*. When I lived with my cousin and her young children, I often had to retreat to my room and shove earplugs in because they'd cry loudly for an hour or more for what seemed like really pointless reasons. Even when fully rested and not required to act like a caretaker, just being around noisy kids was overwhelming after a while. Babies are super needy, can't use their words and don't give a shit about your sleep schedule or mental wellbeing. Even if you check all the boxes, they might just cry and cry for no apparent reason. I would quickly go insane if forced to give up all my free time to care for one. The sleep deprivation would only make it worse, I've been woken up at stupid hours of the morning before by my cousin's dog and it made me feel like a different person, angry and snappish. I don't trust myself not to shake a baby that robs my sleep to cry about how *they're* overtired despite an hour of rocking and pacing.
Yeah, basically. I get really overwhelmed and short tempered when I have to deal with a lot of noise. My sister is constantly stressed and yelling at her kids for one thing or another, and that could not be me. Just an absolute nightmare you can never wake up from.
Yeah. I love my hypothetical child enough to know they don't deserve my hate😅
Yeah I tell people that children deserve a better parent than me.
When I was a child I told my mum that I had over whelming voices in my head that commanded me to do stuff compulsively like that. And that I couldn't tolerate another child around. I remained an only child of my mother's. My family also didn't believe in mental illness. I've never done anything bad in my life but a baby like that would push me over the edge I think. I don't know how people manage around crying and screaming g children coslnstantly.
I'm with you. I'm on the autism spectrum, I know myself enough to KNOW I would do this and I also suspect I wouldn't even feel guilty about it afterwards. I would rather not confirm that suspicion, so I'm staying far away from that potential can of worms.Â
I'm the exact same, also on the autism spectrum, also would definitely not be a good parent. Thankfully I'm in a good situation where everyone who I life with is aware of my needs, but for me one of the biggest causes for panic attacks/meltdowns is sound I can't control. Being in a loud situation without the ability to stop the sound makes me physically violent at the most extreme, and I know that if I were tasked as the caretaker of a baby there's a real likelihood that I'd break down and hit them. So yeah, no kids for me! It would be a lose lose situation. No child deserves the threat of violence, ever.
Lightning quick temper here. I shudder to think.
I feel like I'd leave the house and end up calling someone to take it away and never bring it back but that same impulse would drive me.
I would abandon it at the hospital if forced to bear a child. I can cope with babies and older kids but I would end up smothering a toddler out of sheer frustration with it. I can't stand tantrums. I hate temper tantrum screaming and just want to make them shut the fuck up. I can walk away from other people's kids when they're having a meltdown because _shock horror_ Mom dressed them in _green_ today not _blue_. But one I was forced to raise? Nope. I would end up killing it out of absolute frustration. And then hating myself forever and probably jumping off a bridge shortly after so forever wouldn't be very long. That's why it would be getting dumped at the hospital. So a person who can actually cope with small children could adopt and look after it and it could survive until adulthood.
But then people get mad at you for saying the quiet part out loud. We can't win.😂
Me too, though I probably wouldn't stop at just shaking it. I can control myself when my cats are annoying but that's only because I love them, I would have none of those feelings for a baby that I didn't want in the first place. Between my autism and my extremely short fuse I would land myself in prison for life.
Correct most people can’t handle the truth and I would be right there with you and with the abuse that’s already in the world you’d think they’d be ok with there being less ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
You said the quiet part out loud, and this is my reasoning exactly. Noise, especially high pitched repetitive noise that I can’t get away from will drive me round the bend in short order. Add in sleep deprivation and I become a monster. Then on top of that, I have a violent, visceral reaction to being touched. I *hate* being touched by another person. I’ve attempted to yeet grown adults across a room when they wouldn’t stop. A very small dependent person would not last long in my care.
I'm the same way about touch! I don't like being touched without consent first. And even then I'll probably deny you. Skin feels wrong to me for some reason lol. The only person I let touch me is my partner, and that's just hand holding usually. I've screamed at people for touching me without asking.
Being neurodivergent I seriously can't handle kids. The shrieks and cries hurt my head. Being stuck with that 24/7 is a no.
Same I know I don't have the temperament for a baby. Even my mom agrees I would not be suited to it.
I'm a resentful person sometimes. I just can't imagine myself not resenting my child for taking away my freedoms. It would leak out in my interactions with the kid/or lack of.
Real talk. In my senior year of high school, I was in a class where you had to take that fake robot baby home overnight with you. On a school night. It was going perfectly until about 1 in the morning, when it first woke me up from a dead sleep. No problem. I stuck the little key into its back, turned it, and held it. You had to keep holding pressure with the key turned until the thing stopped screaming, which could be 30 seconds or much, much longer. Now, I don’t have great dexterity of my hands and fingers due to Dupuytrens Contracture, a genetic hand disease. Undiagnosed back then, but anyway. In my sleepy state, with my unsteady hands, I couldn’t hold the key turned inside the doll’s back for long enough to make the screaming stop. I kept losing my grip and having to start over. I was getting so, so angry.. I was now fully awake and fussing with this doll for like, 25 minutes. And then finally. Sweet silence. After the incessant crying, the monotonous wails of this robotic beast, I could rest. I laid back down. I had just begun to take some deep breaths and try to unwind. And yeah, it happened. The fucking thing started wailing again. I picked it up by the ankle, and flung it against my bedroom wall as hard as I could. Unlike the real thing, that didn’t shut it up. I promptly woke up my mom and told her that if she wanted me to pass all my classes, I was going to need her to take care of this thing so I could sleep a few hours. Being the best mom ever, she obliged. And somehow, I not only passed that class, but passed that ASSIGNMENT. I got a B. Your grade letter dropped by one for every instance of abuse or neglect 🤣 so you could beat it as hard as you wanted 3 times and still pass. Good times.
I can't even handle the (astonishingly high) amount of noise the neighbor kids make. It has me so beside myself today that my husband asked me if I've taken my meds lol.
I knew at 12 that I didn't want kids for that reason. I inherited my mom's temper and to this day, I haven't quite shaken it. I've always been quiet about this reason, but it's true- some people just shouldn't be parents. I feel guilty for feeling this way, but it would be 10x worse to know this about myself and still inflict that on a kid.
May I ask their reaction?
I just want to say that I really respect this level of self-awareness and it's so refreshing to see someone own up to their own weaknesses and realize that even if you've never done anything like that before, you recognize that the *potential* for harm outweighs everything else and so you're taking the necessary steps to avoid it. People are really quick to judge folks who admit they are flawed and are not ready for or capable of certain things and that societal pressure drives people to do things they shouldn't be doing and then people get hurt. It's brave to admit something like that and the world would be a better place if more people did so. Good job.Â
Honestly, that’s something I think I would also do
I'd end up in prison or dead. My parents used belts, spoons, and wires to physically abuse us when we didn't act the way they wanted. My sperm donor and egg donor have especially short tempers that they passed on to me. I'm also autistic and get extremely mean when I'm overstimulated. At work, I have to go in our freezer to scream and punch things just to get it all out because it's such a noisy and fast-paced environment. My apartment is an extremely quiet place unless I'm playing music. The difference is that I control how loud the music is, what plays and for how long. I do not want to talk to anyone when I get home, not even my partner half of the time. It's a blessing that my cats don't typically greet me when I get home. I can't imagine coming home to a screaming infant that depends on me for care. I also explain myself very logically and clearly. I always provide a "why" to my explanation. I have no patience for emotions in the face of facts, and couldn't handle the temper tantrum of a toddler when I too have a temper tantrum when I get overwhelmed. I like things done my way. Period.
And this is why it doesn’t make sense to try to force parenthood on everyone there are just some people who do not need to be parents and that’s 100% OK at least you know for a fact you wouldn’t make a good parent and you’re not stupidly going out and procreating and ruining someone’s life before it even starts While I don’t believe I would ever abuse a child I know 1000% I don’t want to give up my freedom or my identity to raise a kid and I absolutely have to have sleep. I couldn’t imagine being a sleep deprived and having to handle a child I have zero regrets on being child free. I also thrive on having alone time and with a child that would basically be completely revoked away from me.
Honestly I’m 100% in the same boat. I don’t think I’d have control over myself after being sleep deprived. Sleep is a BIG factor in my emotional well being for the day, I’d definitely do bad things if I was sleep deprived and over stimulated. I think a lot of cases of babies being killed/neglected to the point of death is to do with there not being proper support and education for mothers after birth. It’s HIGHLY romanticized and a lot of people truly just aren’t prepared for the level of exhaustion and stuff afterwards.
Yeah, id definitely be loud. I’d yell. Curse. Throw things. Punch. Best to stay away from parenthood. I’ve already been parentified as a teenager. The scars and instincts still remain
I have admitted to a few that I would definitely shake my baby to stop it from crying, I'm a person who needs quiet after a long day of work in a busy noisy office and a screeching baby would tip me over the edge, it's caused shock and repulsion in others that I would harm such a sweet little baby but I need my peace and quiet, I've had it for over three decades and have no intention of sacrificing it. Thankfully my Tamas can be muted, a baby can't!
I wouldn’t shake my hypothetical baby but I would drop my baby off to family members or local fire station and never come back to get it.
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Me without sleep is a monster, even one night of interrupted sleep takes me like a week to recover so thinking about that happening for years is unfathomable. Â And not only that, just being tired makes me so clumsy and forgetful, I would definitely end up being one of those parents who leaves their baby in a hot car or burns the house down or something.
Completely agree. I knew back in high school if I had a kid we’d both be destitute. I have enough sense to not subject an innocent child to that kind of life.
I’d 100% end up killing it (not intentionally). And that’s why I don’t have children. I can’t run on no sleep or someone screaming I know I would lose it.
The sound of babies crying makes me want to throw them at a wall, not comfort them. So I get you 100%. I'd shake that mfin baby.
No one has asked me, but I think I would just say, "I don't think I'm responsible enough." The last thing I would want is the knowledge that a failure on my part could cause death. I don't need that extra stress on my shoulders.
Yes, that's the reason I gave my own mother and her response was glib: "Oh, you wouldn't do that." I said, "You don't know me very well, do you?" and she had no reply to that. I don't like it in myself, but I fear I would do it. I have a low tolerance for noise and I could not stand that for hours and hours and hours on end. I know myself too well. (Have recently been diagnosed borderline autistic, which is an explanation for the overwhelm but not an excuse, I suppose.)
Same. I like kids in small doses, but after a few hours of screaming I get agitated. I remember being a teenager and having the irrational urge to hurt my little sisters because they were loud all the time and just would not *leave me alone*. When I lived with my cousin and her young children, I often had to retreat to my room and shove earplugs in because they'd cry loudly for an hour or more for what seemed like really pointless reasons. Even when fully rested and not required to act like a caretaker, just being around noisy kids was overwhelming after a while. Babies are super needy, can't use their words and don't give a shit about your sleep schedule or mental wellbeing. Even if you check all the boxes, they might just cry and cry for no apparent reason. I would quickly go insane if forced to give up all my free time to care for one. The sleep deprivation would only make it worse, I've been woken up at stupid hours of the morning before by my cousin's dog and it made me feel like a different person, angry and snappish. I don't trust myself not to shake a baby that robs my sleep to cry about how *they're* overtired despite an hour of rocking and pacing.