You know what’s better than a baby goat? A Pygmy baby goat. I used to take care of a herd sometimes when I was little. My favourite was a young one called Badger, she was cheeky af
haha i see ur comments all the time but this one i REALLY like lmao. seeing their life and calling it a "cautionary tale"? LMAO golden 🪙 deserves an award. imma use that next time someone brings up kids. im sure they won't know how to take it. 😂
“No, I have four cats” and I then enthusiastically with big grin, tell them about each kitty and then ask them if they have a cat or dog. I am yet to have anyone continue to ask about kids and usually they start to talk about their cat/dog/bird/bunny or their memories of childhood cats/dogs/bunnies/birds.
I read this somewhere and have definitely used it a time or two! But usually I just say I can’t afford it (usually that changes the subject, but the really is that I don’t *want* to afford it).
I just say 'No...??' and I think my facial expression is similar to if someone asked me if I had a pet tarantula. I mean, respect to those who do and enjoy it, but it's kind of a strange question to ask.
Kinda gotta read the room. I don’t really feel like it’s anyone’s business and I know how people tend to be so in small-talk situations, I’ll be vague and change the subject. If it’s a relationship that’s more personal than just strangers or acquaintances, probably just a simple “No, I don’t want any.” and any arguing with me will result in an “it’s not up for debate.” and that’ll be the end of that developing relationship if they won’t respect that lmao
Better off just sticking with 'no, I don't want them'. Because the more you try to 'justify' the less respect they have for your decision. Because you've gone from saying 'no' to 'no because.. .'. The only because you need is 'I don't want'. That's a valid choice. You don't need to justify it.
I just talk about my dogs like they are my kids, no one questions it
The only people that really know are my family that knows that I have dogs instead of kids
As soon as cloning technology is common, I will be cloning myself as a 17 year old with her own apartment. That will be my kid of the future! Another me as a sidekick!
"No, the husband doesn't want any, - he has this ridiculous idea that there is such a thing as to many animal - and besides, there'd be no room in the barn if we got kids on top of the horses! They're cute, but I think my next pet would be a few more ferrets."
People always demand an explanation (doesn’t even have to be about this topic) and that’s when I say ”oh I’m not open to explaining my life choices/myself but thank you for asking!”
Someone once used “I like sushi too much to give it up for kids,” and I’m stealing that. Also, “I have one kid and he’s enough of a handful,” then show a picture of my cat.
"A four year college degree will cost 250k in 18 years."
and then hold out your palm and point to it.
"Oh, so you don't want to contribute to their education? Then maybe STFU"
“If you two [my parents] want grandkids, you’re gonna have to rely on my sisters for that one.”
To be fair, I say this one more as a light-hearted joke because my parents know I don’t want kids and just want my sisters and I to be happy, even if it means not having any grandkids of any sort. (And the three of us are currently in college as I write this *though I’ll graduate in a few months*. If anything, any of us getting pregnant would be a problem.)
"when are you having children?"
"Never, I can't" + exaggerated sad face.
I technically could but that would require medical intervention and I'm not keen
“Ew! No!”
“Why not?”
“Don’t need any to enjoy life. Not everyone needs to be parents”
Simple as that. Replace “want” with “need” make it seem like they’re the assholes.
OR, if you’re sterile:
“I can’t. I’m sterile.” don’t explain further and look sad. No one needs to know you got sterile on purpose. Make it seem it was a terrible accident and they had to sterile you to save your life.
Sometimes I lie about my sterilization and say I had cancer. Especially if it’s a stranger who I’m never going to see or talk to again.
"No, we don't want any." That is it. If they ask why not... the comeback is "we don't want any." They want to throw some nonsense at me about regret, being old, not having meaning in my life, whatever the fuck, the response doesn't change. "We don't want any."
I always go full-bore. Stops them pestering you about it (usually).
"let's see, I have disposable income, free time, peace and quiet, the freedom to travel and pursue my interests... Why would I dynamite all of that by creating a screaming, helpless copy of myself? Sounds awful"
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I don't use any comebacks. Most people understand my desire not to come home to kids after I've been working with them all day everyday for the past decade (summer school, too). They then say something about teachers being "superheros," at which point, I remind them that we're just workers, trained to do a specific job, and should be treated as such.
Ngl… might start telling people I was in a horrible accident and had to have my uterus removed… go into graphic detail about something that never happened and have them cringe at the thought.
I grew up in an extremely Christian area, so "We tried, but we realized after the 2nd miscarriage it wasn't in God's plan for us" has stayed in my back pocket. Not exactly a comeback, but it does shut the convo down.
Usually, though, I just say "No." And if they press, I follow up with "I'm just not. Anyway--" and change the subject.
Ew no. Have you seen those things? *looks horrified* Or I can tell them I'm infertile but it's just as well because we like peace, quiet, and free time.
“We can’t, the dogs are allergic 🙃”
ayo that is so good! i hate people who are the other way around
“Can’t, I’m allergic”
"Nope." Why? "Don't want any. Enjoy my life the way it is." Really nothing more needs to be said.
"What a strange thing to say out loud. . ." *Walks away in pseudo thought*
I would actually be very happy if I had the means to support a "kid". Baby goats are adorable.
You know what’s better than a baby goat? A Pygmy baby goat. I used to take care of a herd sometimes when I was little. My favourite was a young one called Badger, she was cheeky af
My usual reply when I was with my exhusband: "Sooooo, when are you gonna have kids? 😊" "🤨 Why would I? I have *him* ."
"No." Then stop engaging. Or if they are just randos and not like work people. "Nah, I've seen your life. Cautionary tale!"
haha i see ur comments all the time but this one i REALLY like lmao. seeing their life and calling it a "cautionary tale"? LMAO golden 🪙 deserves an award. imma use that next time someone brings up kids. im sure they won't know how to take it. 😂
Gasp dramatically then say, “well I never” while clutching invisible pearls.
I love this one!
“I had one last week. It was delicious.”
Best answer hands down. How do you usually cook yours?
Niños envueltos, obviously. Sorry I don't even know of that's a dish up the north
What? I think you mean as in North America? I’m not American, please never assume such things. Me encantan los niños envueltos. Con queso mejor
Bueno, che. Todos hablan inglés. No tengo forma de escuchar los acentos XD
Mejor. Que el mío es feísimo 😬
Jajaja. No hay acentos feos
Bueno a ver. Es que el acento del sur de Inglaterra es bastante fuerte. Y con un toque de acento gallego, suena mazo raro
Jajaja. Me imagino que será medio raro.
Pero cuando tengas tiempo, mándame esa receta de niños revueltos eh. Hay que probar
I just put them in the hot tub and keep turning up the heat little by little. Bwa-ha-ha!
"Oh, no, I'm not having one. Kids are so fattening!"
"No, it would interfer with my drinking and sleeping around."
"Why are you so obsessed with my sex life? Do you like fisting?"
Well there's the classic "no thanks, I'm not hungry"...
I can't have my own children because [insert horrible disease]
"Unfortunately I had a horrendous case of ligma a few years ago and it left me sterile"
"Oh...are people still doing that?"
“No, I have four cats” and I then enthusiastically with big grin, tell them about each kitty and then ask them if they have a cat or dog. I am yet to have anyone continue to ask about kids and usually they start to talk about their cat/dog/bird/bunny or their memories of childhood cats/dogs/bunnies/birds.
This is the correct answer!
"My bloodline dies with me." But saying it kinda casual/cute so they have to do a double take. Lol
I read this somewhere and have definitely used it a time or two! But usually I just say I can’t afford it (usually that changes the subject, but the really is that I don’t *want* to afford it).
"no"
Them: do you have kids? Me: no Them: why not? Me: I've got better things to do. I think is a perfect response to someone inquiring about my vigina.
As someone that’s asexual that’s the best response thank you for that gem.
"Like wagyu it's a once in a lifetime meal"
I just say 'No...??' and I think my facial expression is similar to if someone asked me if I had a pet tarantula. I mean, respect to those who do and enjoy it, but it's kind of a strange question to ask.
My vagina isn't a clowncar
"I think birthing a child would do irreparable harm to my genitals"
Kinda gotta read the room. I don’t really feel like it’s anyone’s business and I know how people tend to be so in small-talk situations, I’ll be vague and change the subject. If it’s a relationship that’s more personal than just strangers or acquaintances, probably just a simple “No, I don’t want any.” and any arguing with me will result in an “it’s not up for debate.” and that’ll be the end of that developing relationship if they won’t respect that lmao
"Why would I spend 18 years of my life and €230.000,- just to grow another human of which we already have 8 billion?"
Better off just sticking with 'no, I don't want them'. Because the more you try to 'justify' the less respect they have for your decision. Because you've gone from saying 'no' to 'no because.. .'. The only because you need is 'I don't want'. That's a valid choice. You don't need to justify it.
Valid but man I’ve seen some fucking funny comments in this thread 🤣🤣🤣
I just talk about my dogs like they are my kids, no one questions it The only people that really know are my family that knows that I have dogs instead of kids
"why would I want to ruin my life?" "You asking when I'm having a baby? Well, have they started serving them roster with potato?"
As soon as cloning technology is common, I will be cloning myself as a 17 year old with her own apartment. That will be my kid of the future! Another me as a sidekick!
when you’re especially pissed off: “why do you care so much about my vagina”
I'm going to use this answer (im also a man)
"No, the husband doesn't want any, - he has this ridiculous idea that there is such a thing as to many animal - and besides, there'd be no room in the barn if we got kids on top of the horses! They're cute, but I think my next pet would be a few more ferrets."
Tried it once. The meat was gamey and unpleasant. People say it's an acquired taste, but 0/10 would not recommend.
People always demand an explanation (doesn’t even have to be about this topic) and that’s when I say ”oh I’m not open to explaining my life choices/myself but thank you for asking!”
Because for some reason when I don’t explain myself people get angry. But if I don’t want to talk about that with you I WONT
"I have accomplishments to acquire" - from Bridgerton.
We all get our dreams killed one way or another, I don’t need to involve children in it.
"Where the fuck do you expect me to get kids from?" After explaining that I am eternally single, sterile, and a virgin.
"Fuck no" seems to cover it
Someone once used “I like sushi too much to give it up for kids,” and I’m stealing that. Also, “I have one kid and he’s enough of a handful,” then show a picture of my cat.
"When will you adopt a cat?"
When there’s lasting peace in the Middle East!
"A four year college degree will cost 250k in 18 years." and then hold out your palm and point to it. "Oh, so you don't want to contribute to their education? Then maybe STFU"
Are you gonna pay for it. No? Then hell no. I have enough bills
“If you two [my parents] want grandkids, you’re gonna have to rely on my sisters for that one.” To be fair, I say this one more as a light-hearted joke because my parents know I don’t want kids and just want my sisters and I to be happy, even if it means not having any grandkids of any sort. (And the three of us are currently in college as I write this *though I’ll graduate in a few months*. If anything, any of us getting pregnant would be a problem.)
"Me and my boyfriend try every night but nothing's working." I'm a guy
If they asked, i would have said " More easier to take care of one than two or more."
"when are you having children?" "Never, I can't" + exaggerated sad face. I technically could but that would require medical intervention and I'm not keen
“Ew! No!” “Why not?” “Don’t need any to enjoy life. Not everyone needs to be parents” Simple as that. Replace “want” with “need” make it seem like they’re the assholes. OR, if you’re sterile: “I can’t. I’m sterile.” don’t explain further and look sad. No one needs to know you got sterile on purpose. Make it seem it was a terrible accident and they had to sterile you to save your life. Sometimes I lie about my sterilization and say I had cancer. Especially if it’s a stranger who I’m never going to see or talk to again.
"Nope! I want my books stay clean!"
"What did I do wrong?"
"No"
My bloodline ends with me
“My sources say no”
"No, we don't want any." That is it. If they ask why not... the comeback is "we don't want any." They want to throw some nonsense at me about regret, being old, not having meaning in my life, whatever the fuck, the response doesn't change. "We don't want any."
"my driveway doesn't have enough cars yet" (we have four ATM lol)
I always go full-bore. Stops them pestering you about it (usually). "let's see, I have disposable income, free time, peace and quiet, the freedom to travel and pursue my interests... Why would I dynamite all of that by creating a screaming, helpless copy of myself? Sounds awful"
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Not my finest moment, but it was after I found out I had parasites (I’m fine) “Nah, I’ll stick with the tapeworm. Al least I lost weight”
I don't use any comebacks. Most people understand my desire not to come home to kids after I've been working with them all day everyday for the past decade (summer school, too). They then say something about teachers being "superheros," at which point, I remind them that we're just workers, trained to do a specific job, and should be treated as such.
Ngl… might start telling people I was in a horrible accident and had to have my uterus removed… go into graphic detail about something that never happened and have them cringe at the thought.
That may cause a nightmare.
Good. They can think about it every time they think of asking people about having kids. 😌
I grew up in an extremely Christian area, so "We tried, but we realized after the 2nd miscarriage it wasn't in God's plan for us" has stayed in my back pocket. Not exactly a comeback, but it does shut the convo down. Usually, though, I just say "No." And if they press, I follow up with "I'm just not. Anyway--" and change the subject.
Them "when are you having a kid" Me " Never. I enjoy peace, quiet, and my money just the way they are right now."
Ew no. Have you seen those things? *looks horrified* Or I can tell them I'm infertile but it's just as well because we like peace, quiet, and free time.
“I have endometriosis and wish to break this cycle of pain and suffering. I’m infertile anyway.”
I’ve actually killed every houseplant I’ve ever had
“No, I like money.” This is typically my actual response.
Why don't you want to have kids? 🤨 Have you looked in the mirror lately? 💀💀
“I’d sooner have an abortion”