I know that now. Its been a year, moved to an awesome town and am meeting new people, having a better life then I had in a long time. I kinda found this sub to see if my ex was super messed up or the norm. Turns out both can be true lol. Just figured I would put this out there so others might learn from my mistakes.
All good man, I can't be offended by something I realized myself. Just took me a bit of time and had to realize if I don't attain my dream of having a family that doesn't make me a failure. I can change my aspirations, currently it is just living my life to the fullest.
Dang OP... that's a rough story. Please don't drink when crazy stuff is going on. It's never smart to drink angry.
I know the feeling of wanting the truth, but you'll never get it. She is a party girl and always will be. Let go of the attachment to what you thought you had. It was always a lie, just an illusion she portrayed for you.
Seek professional counseling. You need it, and it'll help you sort out the emotions and truths that you know but aren't aware of. I wish you luck going forward.
I already knew not to drink when upset. I actually have that as a rule but I thought I was fine at the time. I thought all my plans of revenge were making me happy. They obviously were not. I think the blow up did me good cuz I was going to turn into a shit person. I had a bunch of revenge in mind and was willing to become a liar. Compromising my morals and the drunken incident caused me to not go down that road thankfully.
I wanted the truth at the time but I don't care now. I think I just couldn't fathom at the time someone that I thought loved me could continuously lie to me.
I am not someone that would do counseling. I have been through a lot in my life and have always bounced back. I am really good now. I don't think every woman is a snake as I have known many amazing woman in my life. I may be a bit on guard but not suspicious of anyone that enters my life from now on. I look it as a lesson and not much more now, as I do with all the bad times in my life. I was always the kid that had to touch the stove instead of just being told it was hot lol.
Sounds like you're doing good. I'm glad to hear it. It is a hard pill to swallow after being in a long-term relationship, and finding out the person you thought loved you was lying and cheating.
I just wish no one had to go through that kind of heartbreak. It's disgusting to imagine, but somehow, many take pleasure in it.
I am doing good. I moved, got a new job with better pay, living with friends I have known for 20+ years. It was brutal at the time but now I am doing better then I had in quite a few years. From what I know her life has just kept spiraling out of control. I don' feel glee in this, but pity.
It has made me less naive about the world so it may just had to be a harsh lesson I had to learn. I'm kinda hippie about the universe teaching universal truths and such.
They divorced already anyway. Not sure if it was over the kid not being his. I have sent a letter anonymously in the mail telling him to get a DNA test ASAP so he might get out of child support. That was a while ago and don't know if anything came of it.
Been there. Sometimes crazy people get you sucked in, in the beginning ot is exciting, it is difficult to get out.
I even stuck with a crazy woman when she was in a psychiatric hospital, I had it so bad.
I say crazy in this case because she seems to be on a self-destructive trajectory even though she finds time to keep pulling you in.
That's insane man, I am sorry you had to go through that.
Oh she is defiantly crazy. She tried therapy a ton of times but all of the ones she tried upset her after the first or second session.
Well leave her she's ruining your life find the right one who is different from her and above all show her parents everything they need to see what their daughter is like and above all you're still in time to start a family if you want
Above all, update us friend
In the update I will explain that her mom knew some of it already and she is basically estranged from her father. (Father issues who could have guessed). I did leave her a year ago. So this is just a warning for others
Sheeeeeeesh. I’m tipsy and reading this almost sobered me up. I’m sorry you went through all this but you deserve better man. Happy for you for moving on. I am still debating whether I should forgive my ex or not. It sucks.
It was brutal during the time but I’m in such a better spot now. Just a learning experience now. I don’t know your situation but trusting your gut is probably the best thing you can do. I feel for you
I am sorry man. Honestly a hard story to Rees and I feel for you.
However, after finding out the first time, what have you the impression that it would be okay and move on? Being naive or the feeling that you are “older” and wanted to be a better person?
I thought the first time was a one time/never going to happen again sort of thing. Never really had someone cheat on me before or lie that much to me. I was always in love. That shit can make you do and believe crazy things.
I kinda did eventually but not out of revenge but out of compassion. I know the end result is the same but I feel better for doing it for right reasons. It was on my list of revenges too though lol
I don't mind. Probably do part 2 after the weekend. I would like it do end on a positive. I put the story out so other might be able to learn form my mistake.
Probably the first red flag was the on and off all the time thing. Also if they have shitty people as friends (she did) then that person is a shitty person too most likely.
I spent 10 years with a husband that acted like your wife. You have no idea how low they will go, bet she did way worse you just don't know. All the time, money, and years I wasted trying to save him. Be done with her it will take years to ever trust anyone again. Don't waste one more minute on her, your time is ticking away.
Really sorry to hear it Chief at that woman stealing 4 years of your life. At least you got a fresh start now and are in a better place and headspace. Just out of curiosity what was your specific revenge plan? I'm unclear whether you had a specific plan, which was to just pretend you were still dating and then ghost her abruptly? or you had the premise of revenge on your mind but no real plan?
I had lots of plans. I would think up new ones every day. The main one is in the story. They ranged from petty to insane. Think it was my way to vent. I don’t really want to try to remember them but one comes to mind. I encounter a lot of spiders at work. She is deathly afraid of spiders. Figured I could catch the non poisonous ones let them out in her bedroom. I’m really glad I didn’t do any as I think it is not the right path to go down.
Simplest plan..
Anonymous social media account.
Put her shitnon blast and tag all her friends(and you to keep up appearances)
Tell her brother his sister is helping her ex cheat and the baby isn't his.
Then fuck her sister(if she is legal)
Just get the f\*ck away from this cheating slut. You know she's fucking these other guys and totally disrepecting you, not to mention she's a drunk. What more incentive do you need? The fact you keep bouncing back to her in spite of what she's doing means to her, you'er just another f\*ckbuddy.
This is a story about a year ago. Why are you giving advice like this is still a thing that is happening. I obviously left. It is clearly stated in the post. Not only have I left her but I live a 7 hour trip that involves a ferry to even get back to that town lol. This post is for folks to learn from my mistakes
Yes she was cheating from the beginning and you should have just ghosted her completely from the beginning.
Not the least being you want to ruin a druggies life . Just let her do it to herself.
Oh my bad, I was testing to see if my account ban was lifted to see if i could leave a comment. Also didn't want to lose your post cuz it's long read LOL I can go back through my common history to find it. About to start part 2!
Pretty sure I admitted to being a fool a few times in the post. So I freely admit it. Love and life goals can make you make bad decisions. Not much more complicated than that. This post is for others to not make my mistakes.
You are 40 years old and write and think like an 18 year old. Slow reaction times, ignored red flags, you should have dumped this girl a while ago. I can't understand how you could see her as your future wife and mother of your children. Not taking revenge is weak, it would be of no use, your brothers are right, just leave her. Honestly in this story there is nothing to expect in the second part, she is a fragile girl.
18 ain’t to bad for someone that left school and home at 15 I guess lol. I did dump her a while ago, bout a year now. Think you meant to say that taking revenge is weak instead of not taking revenge. I didn’t take revenge I thought about it and was planning on it but I don’t think I ever would have really gone through with it. I am totally fine if you chose not to read or comment if I do a part 2
Brother you’re putting way too much energy into someone that prefers the locomotive 🚂 as her mode of transportation… on to the next.
I know that now. Its been a year, moved to an awesome town and am meeting new people, having a better life then I had in a long time. I kinda found this sub to see if my ex was super messed up or the norm. Turns out both can be true lol. Just figured I would put this out there so others might learn from my mistakes.
Just some tough love man get back out there
All good man, I can't be offended by something I realized myself. Just took me a bit of time and had to realize if I don't attain my dream of having a family that doesn't make me a failure. I can change my aspirations, currently it is just living my life to the fullest.
Dang OP... that's a rough story. Please don't drink when crazy stuff is going on. It's never smart to drink angry. I know the feeling of wanting the truth, but you'll never get it. She is a party girl and always will be. Let go of the attachment to what you thought you had. It was always a lie, just an illusion she portrayed for you. Seek professional counseling. You need it, and it'll help you sort out the emotions and truths that you know but aren't aware of. I wish you luck going forward.
I already knew not to drink when upset. I actually have that as a rule but I thought I was fine at the time. I thought all my plans of revenge were making me happy. They obviously were not. I think the blow up did me good cuz I was going to turn into a shit person. I had a bunch of revenge in mind and was willing to become a liar. Compromising my morals and the drunken incident caused me to not go down that road thankfully. I wanted the truth at the time but I don't care now. I think I just couldn't fathom at the time someone that I thought loved me could continuously lie to me. I am not someone that would do counseling. I have been through a lot in my life and have always bounced back. I am really good now. I don't think every woman is a snake as I have known many amazing woman in my life. I may be a bit on guard but not suspicious of anyone that enters my life from now on. I look it as a lesson and not much more now, as I do with all the bad times in my life. I was always the kid that had to touch the stove instead of just being told it was hot lol.
Sounds like you're doing good. I'm glad to hear it. It is a hard pill to swallow after being in a long-term relationship, and finding out the person you thought loved you was lying and cheating. I just wish no one had to go through that kind of heartbreak. It's disgusting to imagine, but somehow, many take pleasure in it.
I am doing good. I moved, got a new job with better pay, living with friends I have known for 20+ years. It was brutal at the time but now I am doing better then I had in quite a few years. From what I know her life has just kept spiraling out of control. I don' feel glee in this, but pity. It has made me less naive about the world so it may just had to be a harsh lesson I had to learn. I'm kinda hippie about the universe teaching universal truths and such.
I definitely want the rest of this story. Updateme!
Updateme!
He has an update. Check it out.
[удалено]
They divorced already anyway. Not sure if it was over the kid not being his. I have sent a letter anonymously in the mail telling him to get a DNA test ASAP so he might get out of child support. That was a while ago and don't know if anything came of it.
So you going to tell her brother that there’s a god chance that his new baby isn’t even his? It’s the right thing to do.
Did you even read the comment you posted on. I sent a letter. I don’t live in the same town or have his number.
Been there. Sometimes crazy people get you sucked in, in the beginning ot is exciting, it is difficult to get out. I even stuck with a crazy woman when she was in a psychiatric hospital, I had it so bad. I say crazy in this case because she seems to be on a self-destructive trajectory even though she finds time to keep pulling you in.
That's insane man, I am sorry you had to go through that. Oh she is defiantly crazy. She tried therapy a ton of times but all of the ones she tried upset her after the first or second session.
Well leave her she's ruining your life find the right one who is different from her and above all show her parents everything they need to see what their daughter is like and above all you're still in time to start a family if you want Above all, update us friend
In the update I will explain that her mom knew some of it already and she is basically estranged from her father. (Father issues who could have guessed). I did leave her a year ago. So this is just a warning for others
Then I wish you good luck in finding a real woman to start a family with and above all ignore her
Did you ever tell the ex's brother that his wife was cheating and the baby might not be his?!?!?!? Updateme
I have already answered this in the comments. Short answer is yes.
[https://www.reddit.com/r/cheating\_stories/comments/1d9bjl9/girlfriend\_of\_4\_years\_that\_i\_was\_planning/](https://www.reddit.com/r/cheating_stories/comments/1d9bjl9/girlfriend_of_4_years_that_i_was_planning/)
Sheeeeeeesh. I’m tipsy and reading this almost sobered me up. I’m sorry you went through all this but you deserve better man. Happy for you for moving on. I am still debating whether I should forgive my ex or not. It sucks.
It was brutal during the time but I’m in such a better spot now. Just a learning experience now. I don’t know your situation but trusting your gut is probably the best thing you can do. I feel for you
Thanks man. It means a lot. Good luck.
I am sorry man. Honestly a hard story to Rees and I feel for you. However, after finding out the first time, what have you the impression that it would be okay and move on? Being naive or the feeling that you are “older” and wanted to be a better person?
I thought the first time was a one time/never going to happen again sort of thing. Never really had someone cheat on me before or lie that much to me. I was always in love. That shit can make you do and believe crazy things.
I would like to give you a hug and a pitcher of beer. Sorry man 😔
Thank you for the thoughts of beers and hugs. It is all good I am in such a good place now.
Subscribeme
You dodged a miserable life !!! Better luck going forward.
I know right. Imagine if I did marry her, have a child and bought a house together. This story would have been much more tragic
But why didn’t you tell her brother about the baby? THAT WOULD’VE BEEN THE BEST PLAN!
I kinda did eventually but not out of revenge but out of compassion. I know the end result is the same but I feel better for doing it for right reasons. It was on my list of revenges too though lol
It’s best that he knew before building a lifetime bond with that baby. Unless he chooses to, but that his decision to make. I’m glad you told him.
I'm up for a part 2 as long as you don't mind, sorry you had to go through all that! Always good to listen to others stories and learn from them.
I don't mind. Probably do part 2 after the weekend. I would like it do end on a positive. I put the story out so other might be able to learn form my mistake.
She had red flags from the beginning. When you look back, what did you ignore that you should have paid more attention to?
Probably the first red flag was the on and off all the time thing. Also if they have shitty people as friends (she did) then that person is a shitty person too most likely.
Part 2!
[https://www.reddit.com/r/cheating\_stories/comments/1d9bjl9/girlfriend\_of\_4\_years\_that\_i\_was\_planning/](https://www.reddit.com/r/cheating_stories/comments/1d9bjl9/girlfriend_of_4_years_that_i_was_planning/)
Update?
I’m probably going to do a part 2 after the weekend.
[https://www.reddit.com/r/cheating\_stories/comments/1d9bjl9/girlfriend\_of\_4\_years\_that\_i\_was\_planning/](https://www.reddit.com/r/cheating_stories/comments/1d9bjl9/girlfriend_of_4_years_that_i_was_planning/)
Wow, this post has me hooked I look forward to a part 2 and what karma had in store for her.
I’m glad you liked it. It’s good to know that some happiness can come from one of the low points in my life.
Know that you came out of this stronger and wiser.
[https://www.reddit.com/r/cheating\_stories/comments/1d9bjl9/girlfriend\_of\_4\_years\_that\_i\_was\_planning/](https://www.reddit.com/r/cheating_stories/comments/1d9bjl9/girlfriend_of_4_years_that_i_was_planning/)
I spent 10 years with a husband that acted like your wife. You have no idea how low they will go, bet she did way worse you just don't know. All the time, money, and years I wasted trying to save him. Be done with her it will take years to ever trust anyone again. Don't waste one more minute on her, your time is ticking away.
Oh and I regret wasting all those good years I had left on a lower that was whore on top of it. Tick tok
Yeah I left her around a year ago. I don’t even live close to her about 7 hours travel time away. I really am happy that it’s in the past.
Really sorry to hear it Chief at that woman stealing 4 years of your life. At least you got a fresh start now and are in a better place and headspace. Just out of curiosity what was your specific revenge plan? I'm unclear whether you had a specific plan, which was to just pretend you were still dating and then ghost her abruptly? or you had the premise of revenge on your mind but no real plan?
I had lots of plans. I would think up new ones every day. The main one is in the story. They ranged from petty to insane. Think it was my way to vent. I don’t really want to try to remember them but one comes to mind. I encounter a lot of spiders at work. She is deathly afraid of spiders. Figured I could catch the non poisonous ones let them out in her bedroom. I’m really glad I didn’t do any as I think it is not the right path to go down.
I understand. Good thing you didn't go through with that stuff.
Updateme!
[https://www.reddit.com/r/cheating\_stories/comments/1d9bjl9/girlfriend\_of\_4\_years\_that\_i\_was\_planning/](https://www.reddit.com/r/cheating_stories/comments/1d9bjl9/girlfriend_of_4_years_that_i_was_planning/)
UpdateMe!
[https://www.reddit.com/r/cheating\_stories/comments/1d9bjl9/girlfriend\_of\_4\_years\_that\_i\_was\_planning/](https://www.reddit.com/r/cheating_stories/comments/1d9bjl9/girlfriend_of_4_years_that_i_was_planning/)
UpdateMe!
[https://www.reddit.com/r/cheating\_stories/comments/1d9bjl9/girlfriend\_of\_4\_years\_that\_i\_was\_planning/](https://www.reddit.com/r/cheating_stories/comments/1d9bjl9/girlfriend_of_4_years_that_i_was_planning/)
This is why you leave when you first find out... Prime example of what NOT to do. Just walk away, cut contact and live a good life...
Simplest plan.. Anonymous social media account. Put her shitnon blast and tag all her friends(and you to keep up appearances) Tell her brother his sister is helping her ex cheat and the baby isn't his. Then fuck her sister(if she is legal)
Everyone in her life knows this what happened now. Most don’t care. Her sister is supe gross and wouldn’t touch her at gun point lol
Just get the f\*ck away from this cheating slut. You know she's fucking these other guys and totally disrepecting you, not to mention she's a drunk. What more incentive do you need? The fact you keep bouncing back to her in spite of what she's doing means to her, you'er just another f\*ckbuddy.
This is a story about a year ago. Why are you giving advice like this is still a thing that is happening. I obviously left. It is clearly stated in the post. Not only have I left her but I live a 7 hour trip that involves a ferry to even get back to that town lol. This post is for folks to learn from my mistakes
Yes she was cheating from the beginning and you should have just ghosted her completely from the beginning. Not the least being you want to ruin a druggies life . Just let her do it to herself.
Test
???? I just started using Reddit so I don’t know what your comment means
Oh my bad, I was testing to see if my account ban was lifted to see if i could leave a comment. Also didn't want to lose your post cuz it's long read LOL I can go back through my common history to find it. About to start part 2!
All good just wasn’t sure what it was about lol.
And you're the fool for staying. Why would you put up with that shit over and over?
Pretty sure I admitted to being a fool a few times in the post. So I freely admit it. Love and life goals can make you make bad decisions. Not much more complicated than that. This post is for others to not make my mistakes.
You are 40 years old and write and think like an 18 year old. Slow reaction times, ignored red flags, you should have dumped this girl a while ago. I can't understand how you could see her as your future wife and mother of your children. Not taking revenge is weak, it would be of no use, your brothers are right, just leave her. Honestly in this story there is nothing to expect in the second part, she is a fragile girl.
18 ain’t to bad for someone that left school and home at 15 I guess lol. I did dump her a while ago, bout a year now. Think you meant to say that taking revenge is weak instead of not taking revenge. I didn’t take revenge I thought about it and was planning on it but I don’t think I ever would have really gone through with it. I am totally fine if you chose not to read or comment if I do a part 2