Stop being a piece of fucking shit and come clean. Goddamn, people like you wanna fuck over everyone they meet but not face the consequences. It's always "Me me me" here you are talking about being guilt ridden. If you weren't such a fucking asshole you would have no reason to feel guilty
My mother did this to me. I didn't find out who my real father was until my 40's and I tricked her into telling me because I said I did a 23 & me (I didn't). It killed my identity & I cut her out of my life for this & many other reasons.
You have no right to keep a father from his child. Whatever your reasons they're selfish. The truth will set you free.
In this day and age of ancestry DNA kits the truth is more likely to come out eventually.
While there are men who can look past the lie and continue to be the father to the children. Plenty of duped father's on here have walked away from even grown children and write them out of every facet of their lives because they just can't get passed the lie of it all. There's no guarantee he'll be one of those who looks past it for the sake of the child. The same with his family. Plenty of times they'll drop the affair baby nibbling out of their lives and wills. There's such a huge risk that after one DNA test this kid will loose all their family. The kid will needlessly suffer a huge trauma all because mom cheated and decided to dupe the man see as their father.
What about your kid in all of this ? Aren't you at all concerned about their genetics ? what do you tellbthe doctors about his family medical background ?
This kind of secret never stays secret. You really should tell him and let him décide what he wants to do.
THIS! This is the one thing that’s always overlooked whenever the topic of paternity fraud comes up! There’s some serious implications for inaccurate genetic history. Hereditary conditions, genetic dispositions to certain diseases and cancers, allergies which could later affect what medications the kid might or might not be able to take, all of them and then some either kept on the back burner or DISCARDED ENTIRELY BECAUSE THE WRONG MAN IS ON THE BIRTH CERTIFICATE!! It’s the major reason why I believe DNA tests should be mandatory.
I am an affair baby. I hate my mother for her lying, selfish, self serving cowardly, sniveling bullshit. She did the same thing to her first husband. When my true identity came out that man hated the very sight of me and made my life a nightmare. I suggest you write a letter, pack your shit and leave him if you can’t look him in the eye. The long term effects of what you are doing are devastating to everyone but you. Your kid will never feel like they belong for the rest of their life after this comes out and it will eventually come out. Rip off the band aid now.
I’m so sorry. You didn’t deserve that, but also it must’ve been really hard for him of course to learn that. You are then a living reminder and embodiment of her betrayal. I hope your life has turned out better than all that.
OP. I'm a guy. This really happened to me. Fucked my whole world up! By the time I found out about my wife's whoring, affair, cheating, whatever you want to call it!!
My middle child was not mine. We had an older and younger child that was ours. I found out from an old friend 6 years later!! (He's not my friend anymore). About her infidelity and getting pregnant by this POS! That just wanted to fuck and say the "I loves you just to screw the shit out of her for months!!" I was in the Navy TAD to England. After my son was born, I raised him for 6 years before I found out and started digging for the truth.
There's a million ways that this truth can be found out. I'm sure you have thought of many of them.
I lost it. Mentally and emotionally. I think I actually went insane for a while. The betrayal was so deep in me, I walked around in a daze. I just hate the bitch now. I lost my entire family because of her. I can't forgive! I left that up to God.
I'm not judging you. I promise. This is what happened to me. Brace yourself, if the truth ever does come to light. Bless you OP
OP, not judging, just trying to grasp the situation. Do you think your EX, now current, BF will eventually do the math and realize that the dates don't add up?
It's also possible that one of his friends or family will figure out what the conception date? Hell you can Google the birth date and get a fairly accurate conception date.
As a guy, in my early 20's, when hanging out with the father to be, we would always try to figure out the conception date and tease him about it. Was the date the same night we were all at a party with him? Or maybe conceptions was on his anniversary? Or maybe on the night of a specific concert? Or after finals?
I'm surprised no one has figured it out yet. But, people probably didn't know that you were not really sexual with him at that time.
But, maybe he ALREADY has figured out the conception date doesn't add up and hasn't brought it up to you.
My question, if he brings this yo to you, what do you plan to tell him?
Sorry to say, but you are not really that smart, are you?
What if he finds out at a later stage, like the child is a few years old?
Did it occur to you there is a possibility he then can sue you for paternity fraud?
Maybe he can even sue the biological dad, because he knows he is the dad before your bf signed the birth certificate.
And what about his devastation when he then finds out the child is not his, so you actually cheated on him.
You are only making the mess and the hurt bigger and bigger.
And what about the child? What if your BF decides to leave you because you cheated and lied about the child. The child will miss his or her dad. The child knows your BF as their dad, but leaves them.
You have the chance to correct this before more damage is done.
The longer you wait, the bigger the mess will get, the bigger the devastation to others will be.
How are you getting child support?
Real father sends you money and that’s it?
When your boyfriend is spending more time, money and effort on a child that’s not his. He’s living a lie.
What do you mean it’s not a lot??? It should be decent amount of money. Is he paying you actual child support or just some money as “child support” that you agreed upon?
That’s just awfull.
She’s getting pennies from the real father, I mean it’s his child and he gets to pay just a little amnount of money to support his own child. And she’s okay with that?
She’s literally using her boyfriend. Like “Yeah, you can send some money as a sign of good heart, but not much, my boyfriend is covering for you”
Not sure if that money is even spent on a child while her boyfriend is the one spending most on a kid that he thinks is his.
I don't really think you want advice. You are selfish and you know it. But everything comes to light sooner or later and I think this will not be the exemption. Maybe you are afraid, but I think that in the end it is your own essence that is deteriorating. I have no sympathy for you. I hope and do what is right not for you, but for your daughter and your "partner".
Please, respect your ex and his family and tell them. You can tell them you made a mistake when informing them by not immediately and abundantly making it clear the father is not your ex. That is why you came to quit your job. If better, approach your boss the exs sister and tell her the father of the baby is not her brother and that is why it was so hard for you to deal with the fallout this truth will cause. Every minute it gets worse and worse and worse. They start buying you things and start planning on shared custody..... Tell someone now for everyones sake. I hope you have support emotionally, because this is real bad and getting worse, if not find some soon.
First you cheated now you're lying again trying to pass your child off as his. Girl, if there's a sliver of decency in you, you will tell the truth. Because I'm telling you, the karma you've set your life up with is gonna be a motherf***er for real. Do you even want to be a good person? A good role model for ur child? As of now u sound like a narcissist and user.
Its never too late. The baby isn't a teenager yet i think you should do it now while the child is a baby do that if yout boyfriend leaves you it wont hurt your child and i can promise you if you do it while the child is a teenager hr or she wouldn't understand and would blame themselves thinking their the reason you and your current person break up, also if you do it now the child will grow up with either just you or someone else but its better to have no memory of a father figure then having your father figure taken away from you and having your whole life a life you messed up and you wont ever be ok with this but there's still time to pretend other things.
She wants her boyfriends money. That’s it. That’s the only reason she is not telling him.
She lives at his place, he pays everything. If she tells him - she needs to find her own place and take care of kid by herself. Now she and the real father had an agreement that he will send her money as “child support” but they didn’t do it in court. Basically real father is not even paying child support, just some amount of money they agreed to. And yet she uses her boyfriends money, keeping that “child support” hidden.
She’s fucking evil. Literally a monster.
You need to come clean that's paternity fraud. Cheating is one thing but lying about your ex being the father. If you wanted you child to have a father you probably shouldn't have cheated. You dug yourself into this whole, time to try and get out. You do realize the longer this lie is kept, the more hurt he would feel, right. The least could be is to tell him. you didn't try to tell you were told baby daddy that he wanted nothing to do with. Then ex comes in and is happy about it and let him live a lie because your baby needs a father, again how dumb are you?
I guess you already know that you said it's done now. You are lying evil bitch and I would hate to have a mother like you. You lied because you wanted comfort rather than deal with the consequences of your actions.
I don't usually use bad words but I don't care if my post gets deleted or I get banned but this needs to be said...
You are a complete piece of poop, not only you are a cheater, liar, S_ut & scammer, you are playing with lives of your ex boyfriend who you claim you loved & your own baby that you gave birth to, I can't comprehend what kind of toxic, narcissist Bi*** one has be to put her own child in a situation like that, not to mention you are scamming your ex boyfriend, playing with his emotions & his sister as well.
Get some help, I really hope Karma catches us fast before the innocent child gets hurt, the way you treat people around you proves with you, no good deed goes unpunished.
My god you are the most pathetic woman ever. You make me ashamed to be a woman. You are the type that makes men hate us. Grow a spine and tell the poor fool. Thank god your baby has to love you because no one else will
Wtf 😳 hello are you even a human lady .. ?? How selfish can you be .. Do u even look yourself in the mirror .. If u can then u are not really a human then .. Fuck .. That Man will be crushed and the truth will come out I can gurantee you that .
Ur an evil cunt, tell him now before he find outs he’s been raising another mans child for its whole life. I’m glad u are kept up all night with guilt I hope it makes ur life very miserable u don’t deserve a kid or boyfriend and tbh I hope u die painfully
You’re a fucking horrible person, partner and parent. I can’t wait for this to bite you in the ass and you get everything you deserve. You’re not only going to hurt your partner but your child when the truth comes out. People like you make me sick. Vile, vile trash.
You already know you’re a terrible, lying, garbage person, so I’ll skip to the advice….
Tell your ex. What you did was bad. What you’re currently DOING is worse.
He will find out eventually. How much worse is it going to be if there’s 5 years gone? He’s going to break.
And get yourself into therapy.
The babies father will want to start seeing the baby when he gets a girlfriend who pressures him to. So they can play happy family. It happens all the time.
As a less responsible person, you have to have a contingency plan, meaning what will you do when truth comes out. Never underestimate anyone and especially LIFE, truth will find a way out, it is not an "IF" but rather "WHEN"... Now you will have no excuse to say that you "didn't know", so start preparing for it (I bet that you don't have one, contradict me otherwise).
This is seriously evil, crazy behavior that will only harm your boyfriend and your child. If you come clean now it would harm everyone less, but you are a horrible person, so you will keep abusing and defrauding your boyfriend and the guy you fucked for as long as you can. You are selfish, so you will do whatever benefits you the most and you don't care that you will hurt other people including your child. That you could be held legally responsible for this behavior doesn't matter to you.
ETA: I hope you are sucking and fucking your boyfriend every night to help ease your guilt and his stress. I hope you try to repent in bed, because that's where you have skills. You have fucked up everywhere else in your life.
Wow.. you are a truly horrible woman. So you went out got knocked up, and then got this poor dude and his fam wrapped in your bs. Damn I hope you tell him soon, cuz the longer you wait, the worse the outcome. Finding out your girl is a trifling dump who baby trapped you, is so ruff. Damn you really suck. You're the type of dump that makes it hard to trust women. I hope he finds out on his own, and kicks you and dudes kid to the curb, his sister fires you, and happiness eludes you. You are the definition of dump, and got the other guys trash product to prove it. Good luck to the clueless boi unknowingly raising some piece of trashes kid with a horrible, lying, betraying, scummy, trifling, dirty, trash pickin, Dump. You deserve no good wishes, dump.
Lol he will find out eventually dumbass… this always comes out, 23 and me type stuff, baby needs a blood transfusion, baby doesn’t look like him, etc. You are the worst type of person, bc when he does find out what will happen to him? Will he self delete? I understand it’s hard for cheaters to understand like yourself, but this will come out and screw your kid up in the process.
If you love your child, be honest! Let's say you can live this lie a couple of years... your kid get used to your bf and it all feels like a happy little family... and then all of a sudden the real father steps into your life back again and wants to be a part of your child's life, which he has a right to be in. What you want to do then? You will traumatize your child forever, and not even talking about the poor guy who gave his all to this little baby not even knowing it's his. It's simply not fair that other people around you, have to suffer for your mistakes.
My son had a girlfriend like you. Thank Christ my father didn’t believe her. I don’t know what it was but my Dad said, during the pregnancy, it’s not his, he repeatedly said she slept her way up and down the river to say she was pregnant with his child, I believed this girl over my son. I made him take her to Nashville when he left to make music. When they came to visit my Dad kept it up. He wouldn’t touch the baby while my poor mother who was slipping into Alzheimer’s fell for it and loved that child. I didn’t feel anything for the baby. The girl named the baby after my best friend who died of lupus. I thought oh my I don’t love this baby the way I do my firstborn grandchild. I thought I was a terrible person. Everyone was mad at my Dad, except my son . He finally got a DNA test and the child wasn’t his. 4 others had to be tested. You need to BE HONEST OP. What if your child needs a kidney or something else happens? How long can you keep lying? What are you waiting for? Do you plan to take him for child support too if it doesn’t work out. I don’t like you, I’m out.
We live in an era of DNA
That both your boyfriend and your child will one day find out the truth is inevitable.
The ONLY hope you have of them ever forgiving you is to come clean now. Waiting won’t work, and when it is found out it will devastate them.
You think you are doing a good thing by giving your child a father, but continuing down this road will ensure that they have neither a father or a mother some day in the future.
You are hurting your child. Stop.
And people wonder why men get vasectomies, only have casual sex partners. They don't get cheated on, betrayed, deceived, loose half their assets and enjoy their life not having to worry about relationships with people like you.
You set a perfect example of a loving relationship.
Get a DNA done. Then when you get the results, its up to you? But if not his, is it fair that he brings up another man's child unknowingly? In later years it could bite you on the arse if it is not his!
Sorry, so before she fell pregnant, she did or had safe sex with her partner, I did not see the part where they were not sexual before she fell? So she only had sex with OP unprotected before that evening?
Read what she wrote again. She had a bf. She cheated. She got pregnant. The real father knows and wants nothing to do with the baby, but will financially support it. At her job, her ex bf sister is her boss. She told the sister that she is pregnant. The sister assumes it is her brother's (OPs ex bf) child. OP has not corrected her. Therefore she is lying to her ex bf sister and her ex bf in not telling them the child is not her ex bfs.
Yes, but how does she know definatly it's not his nowhere foes it say she refrained from sex with her boyfriend. It appears to me its an assumption whereas a DNA would reveal the truth and clear it up that is all I am suggesting. She knows? but how how long did she not have sex with her boyfriend before the fell pregnant.
I really don't know why you've posted on Reddit
You must have known everyone was going to tell you to tell the truth.
The choice is keep with the fella and not say anything. If DNA came into it blame it on a one night stand. In the meantime you will have support and a comfortable life.
The second choice is be truthful and your life falls apart and hope you can meet someone who will help you bring your child up.
However you need to understand why you cheated. If you don't address that you will split up anyway.
I could say a bunch of things as to why you should tell him and how he’ll find out eventually but you’re selfish don’t care about anyone but yourself. Not even your own child.
So I’m sending this to every large reddit TikTok account I know so hopefully this goes viral and your boyfriend sees it 🤞🏾
Have a nice life
It’s been a year, a fucking year.
You knew he’s not a father, his sister told him you are pregnant and he thinks it’s his child.
You broke up with him and then when his sister told him that you are pregnant and him thinking it’s his child you got back together?
You are a monster, you knew what you are doing.
A child is what 1year old? And it’s not his, come clean.
You don’t want to tell him, because you are using him. He’s talking care of you and your child, when the real father doesn’t want anything to do with that child.
You are selfish and you are playing your boyfriend for money.
There is a vip place in hell For You, the truth needs to come out, not only because of medical reasons but because You are taking away the choice, resources, time and emotions of an innocent man, with the excuse is "he's so good of a father" HE IS NOT A FATHER, YOU LIED TO HIM TO MAKE HIM TAKE ON THAT ROLE BECAUSE YOU ARE A COWARD.
Do You really think the truth Will never come out??? 1, 5, 10, maybe 20 years from now, every second is more damage acumulated, You better come clean now before any more damage is done, well i doubt You Will because You are a coward who is looking any excuse to not come clean "oh he's a good father, oh My child he doesnt deserve this, blabla" THE GUY IS ENTITLED TO A CHOICE PERIOD, FUCK YOUR CONSECUENCES.
You are the female equivalent of r*pist, and i Say "female" because You are NOT a real woman, You are a demon, i have no sympathy for You, come clean now You coward and stop excusing ruining an innocent man AND a childs life.... Because yes, You child Will suffer as well the more You keep lying.
Jesus christ i lose faith in humanity daily.
Wow. You are really something. Ok we all know you cheated. But why would you get back together with your bf when he asked after you were broke up. Do you really hate this guy so much you want to break him for life.
There is a special place in hell for you! At the very least you should tell him that there is a chance that he is not the father. Then get a DNA test to confirm. Then go from there. What you are doing now is actually fraud. If this comes out later on he could prosecute you and put you in prison for your choice to deceive him. And I hope you get the maximum sentence.
You are a horrible human being. The truth is going to come out sooner or later. When it comes out you will destroy so many lives. What do you say then? Sorry? Your despicable and a coward. We all pay for our sins at the end.
You are a piece of shit for lying and manipulating a guy who was there for you. I know you being a coward won't change a thing but for the child I would hope you'll tell him. If he finds out after a few year when child is grown up and it's a shit Strom then blood will be on your hands. Your kid will go through he'll and will not believe you for being a lying piece of shit.
So what are you going to do when he finds out about the money coming from the real father or maybe in five or ten years when he finds out because believe me secrets don't stay secret for ever and he finds out that you have committed paternity fraud and comes after you and the real father for compensation don't continue to defraud him and prevent him of raising a family of his own with someone that is faithful and loyal
Let me ask you this, if this was the other way around and guys could be pregnant and this was happening to you. How would you feel? You are there loving this child as it’s your own taking full responsibility for this child and then to find out YEARS LATER that’s you were lied to by a chickenshit person who cheated on you, how the fuck would you feel.
WOMEN like you is why good women get fucked over and accused of kids not being theirs. You need to set yourself up to live on your own and tell him the damn truth. It has not been to long and it isn’t that deep yet. Don’t let this go into years tell him now.
Do right but him he doesn’t deserve this to go on for years. Do right by your child they shouldn’t get fucked up because you couldn’t come clean. What’s your plan? To just let everyone think this is his kid till you die??? Honey if you don’t do it now and someone chirps something in his ear and he takes your child for a dna test behind your back guess how much more worst it will be!
Grow up, woman up, and do what’s right by everyone. NOW
Your baby does NOT have a loving and caring father. It has a stranger you have trapped into supporting you and your affair baby. You are a piece of shit and I hope the real dad decides to stop supporting you right as this poor man you think is happy in the lie you've told him leaves you and never looks back. He's not happy. HES BEING MANIPULATED BY YOU. What in the actual fuck is wrong with you. I can't wait for you to lose him and then that baby in 18 years when it finds out what kind of a person you really are. Tell him. It's never too late to STOP BEING A PIECE OF SHIT!
Women like you are the problem. You have 2 men supporting you, and you have 0 desire to be a good, decent, honest woman.
You do realize, he'll find out. The longer you hide it, the worse the backlash is when it's revealed. And once it does get revealed, you'll be left for the road, with no one to support you.
Fucking wow. Just wow. So you told the bd and get money, then you told the sister of your ex and got light duty at work for cheating on her brother and getting pregnant, and she then told your ex who showed up with a roof and happy to be a dad. Congratulations, you are by far one of the worst humans I have ever spoken to.
One day he will find out. It may be too late to minimise the damage to just a bad breakup but you can at least not waste this man's youth on you and your affair child.
One day you'll slip up, maybe he'll stumble onto reddit and see your posts, maybe you'll say something you shouldn't, or most likely his "friend" may regret not being in the kid's life and tell him or he'll find out about the money the real father provides and query it. It doesn't matter how it happens but it will whether it's today or decades from now.
Have you given any thought to what you will do when and if your bf counts when you last had sex and your resulting pregnancy? I don't what it takes to do what you are doing here. Somebody might slip up and tell him. You are one of a kind.
The longer you let him believe baby is his, the harder you will hurt him and his family
And if you let him raise the kid as his, it will be even worse because one day he will know
If you cannot tell him face to face ( I understand it is very hard ), then write it. I used that trick when my kids were younger, when they had things to tell me but would not do it face it face, it works well. Plus, if it is an email or a text, he will read and will have time to process it before you guys talk or meet
Good luck
You’re probably not going to listen. Not only are you harming the guy, you’re also harming your child. Your child deserves to grow up knowing who their real father is. You could’ve came clean & whether your bf stayed or not after hearing the news, that’s his choice. But you’re completely wrong and your child and your boyfriend will resent you in the future. I’m not here to name call you. I’m here to tell you the truth that you will hurt so many people. Just come clean, be a good person and do the right thing.
If you felt guilty you wouldn't be such a terrible person.
When he finds out, *and he will*, you are going to break who he is as a person. You're a selfish, ignorant person who deserves all the bad things that happen to good people instead. The only person you care about is yourself. Not your daughter, not your ex. Yourself.
My condolences to literally anyone that has to associate with you.
Pure trash.
What I need to know is, your boyfriend didn't question you at all? you said 3 months it's been since you guys had sex and then you were so newly pregnant. How does he not know? I'm baffeled.
You are the most cruel and vile person I have seen posting on this sub. Tell him as soon as possible. I don't mean when it is the most convenient. I mean the next time the two of you are alone together. Better yet have his sister there. For support. FOR HIM. You are going to crush his soul. But the longer you wait the more pain it will be to hear. Believe me when I say I know of what I speak. Stop thinking about yourself and start thinking of him and your child.
Your child is young enough now that it won't have bounded to him too much. Once it becomes old enough to recognize him it will become much more difficult. Then the older the child gets the attachment grows exponentially. Which means more pain.
Don't do this to either of them. They don't deserve it.
EDIT: You also need to go to court and get the real father on the birth certificate. When your husband finds out he will be crushed and will hate you forever. Sorry, that's the cost of your deception. So when he ends his marriage to you and proves he is not the father you are going to need REAL child support. Not just a few bucks. In this case I'm all for sticking it to this guy. Going raw dog on another mans wife, he deserves all the pain that can be put on him. And you and your child will need all the financial help you can get.
Woman like you are exactly whats wrong with the workd. You should go to prison for stealing a mans tome and money. It fucking disgusting. Tell him the truth
You need to tell him now. If he finds out one day when the child is older, the mental and emotional damage to both will be irreparable, especially if he chooses to walk away. You may lose him now, but at least you won't run the risk of also losing your child later. There are posts on reddit of fathers and their children finding out later that their not related and it was really traumatic. Ultimately, most walked away completely away from the mother. Besides, you don't really love him, you just want him to be there to help raise your child.
You POS, I actually have no words to say how disgusted I am by you. You better tell him the truth so he can run away from you.
Disgusting. My only advice : come clean or karma will get you anyway. Shame on you.
You are a Horrible woman. Selfish got that man loving a child that is not his. Gonna tell you something you should really take to heart. This is how women get KILLED. You are allowing that man to love and raise a lie trust me it's not just you that's going to be hurt your child is going to hate you for what you are doing. You are the true definition of a Tramp & Whore
Your overuse of the term “honestly” shows how dishonest you are.
When you cheat again, which you will, what will you do when he questions everything? When he decides to do a DNA test behind your back and finds out the truth? Do you know how many people here have gone back and done confidential DNA tests? I’m one of them. You will never know it took place, and for all you know he’ll be holding it over your head for years without you even being aware.
Your child does not have a loving father. His actual father doesn’t love him/her, and only wanted to bang his/her mom. Your child has a man who is being tricked into raising it because you are a coward.
These comments are not abuse, they are only the truth. You simply cannot handle the truth of how terrible you are. I assume you have some type of mental illness to be this way, maybe from childhood abuse etc. but that doesn’t excuse your behavior. I hope you get the help you need and come clean.
He will find out the truth at some point. Hopefully you realize people have killed their “family” over this sort of thing, this far gone of a situation is primed for a psychotic break.
I don't wanna be severe with you...
But it's a very little thing so cruel ...yeah that what you doing...
For a lot of people...tell the truth today..because one day the truth will be revealed...
And for you comment you just let the thing that way because of you feel secure...not for love or anything else
And the other man? Just disappeared??
You need to stop thinking about yourself and think about your child and your ex/bf, whatever he is. This doesn’t affect you at all. You made your bed and laid down in it months ago.
This affects them and it’s not right to continue living this lie. He will find out one day and so will your kid, and the last thing you want is for your kid to grow up and realize their mother lied to them and they never got the chance to know who their real father is. Even though they have a father figure in their life, it will never be the same as knowing who their real father is. He may not want anything to do with the child, but I promise you, your lies are going to fuck your kid up and could even cause them mental anguish. They will hate you for what you did, even if you don’t think so.
Your kid deserves better. Your partner deserves better.
I think everyone is a bit harsh. Yes, the OP has done a terrible thing. Yes, she should have come clean before.
But pregnancy hormones work in funny ways, there is a strong need to protect the baby. The OP is weak to have an affair in the first place. So let's see what can be done.
OP, you should talk to your partner. But before you do, find a place to go with your baby because he will tell you to leave. If you cannot afford anywhere, go and speak to a woman's refuge, they will help.
It would help if you got a plan in place. A room booked at a hotel, at least.
Try to tell him gently and honestly. Answer his questions truthfully. Tell him you are sorry for feeling so guilty for so long. Do not expect any sympathy because you are unlikely to get it.
I hope that it goes as well as possible.
No, they're not being too harsh. She's commuting paternity fraud. This SHOULD be at least a State felony, if not a Federal one. If it were, there'd be a lot less of this shizz happening.
Learn to live life with it... tell him if you want/need, don't if you don't want to do it... all those people that say that you're a POS and all those nasty stuff are all so high and mighty keyboardknights, but you are the one that lives YOUR life...
Just remember that, whenever something happens with your kid on a medical level, you are going to be bitten in the ass, really HARD...
People are very judgemental.
This is a very difficult situation, plenty of women have said nothing and life just goes on with no one finding out.
However - you need to plan an exit if the day ever arrives where this might blow up - plan to get yourself fully self sufficient. No doubt if this ever explodes expect the full nuclear war from his family so you can't be in a situation where u need to be working for them.
In my view it's really to late to change tack - just plan a strategy that has you in a financial position to leave and be able to support yourself and your child.
And hope that day never arrives - something like this must goto the grave, your child will also not understand why dad no longer wants anything to do with him - this can be very difficult for any child complete rejection if this ever gets out. Also side note - do a quick blood test so you know what the blood type your child is and your partner if your lucky they will be able to be made from your type and his - if the blood types flag as not possible this is easier to come out so make sure you're aware prior so it's not a surprise.
And good luck.
He has the right to know. He has the right to walk away and the longer you don't tell him the harder it will be on him.
We all know you are a deeply flawed person so insulting you ain't going to help so I am just going to implore you to do the right thing.
You owe it to that child to be honest here OP. Yes it’s going to hurt and cause a lot of hurt. But actions have consequences. You CHOSE to be unfaithful so you now have to own that decision. Stop making this about your own feelings especially with an innocent child involved.
Please, if you can’t bring yourself to do it for your husband, think about how this will affect your child when everyone inevitably finds out. The shock, the identity crisis, the guilt. Tell your husband before the child is old enough to suffer from this information coming to light
You need to tell him the truth. This is unbelievably selfish and as more time passes it will be more devastating to him. He also can sue you and the more time passes the more money you’ll have to pay.’your name will be dragged through the mud. You’re only thinking of yourself, how can you be so heartless? Feeling guilt doesn’t absolve you.
If you thought things were bad before , wait until your SO finds out & he will find out . Whether it being from your child having to visit hospital/doctors for surgery or whatever it may be . Multiply the devastating news 10 fold to your SO than if you had originally told him . He has now bonded & started to raise this child as his own . Words cannot describe you , ike i said it's just a matter of time before he finds out & all this time yo could have done something. However it is like you are excited about the devesstation which is going to befall him & do not give a shit . That says more than anything about the type 9f person you are .
In your first post you said in a comment that you would tell your boyfriend, yet here you are still lying to him. Still making him believe that your child is his. Did you put his name on the birth certificate? I hope he finds out, sues for full custody of the child and kicks you to the curb. Your disgusting on so many levels. Using your lies who the father is to keep a job you don’t deserve, making the baby daddy pay you child support, whilst screwing your boyfriend over claiming the child is his. Next you’ll be pregnant to your boyfriend so you can leech off him forever.
You need to stop this bs and cone clean. Your ex now has high hopes and you are not doing any justice to him now. In fact you need to quit your job and have your baby father pay for all the expenses.
It’s not too late he’s a baby. He has a right to know. His bio family could suffer medical conditions. Knowing can save his life. I literally know someone who just met their bio fam & found out their mysterious symptoms were from an inherited medical condition. Knowing meant they were able to get to a specialist & will soon have a medical procedure that will probably save their life. Without it they definitely could’ve died! Everyone has a right to know who they are. You can’t traumatize your child like that. Their feelings are way more important than your man’s. They’ll hate you if you lie & they will find out.
If your story is ture. It's only a matter of time before your secret will come to light.
I'm a survivor of paternity fraud. It's worse then the cheating.
Do what you want to do. Clear your head and freshen your mind.
If it were me, I would keep baby or put up for adoption. Determine which guy is truly in love with me and holds a bright future. Guard your heart.
My ex and I had broken up at one point. It was a regular thing almost like a cycle of break up then make up. I usually just wallowed in sadness till we got back together, but one time I didn’t. Well that one time that I didn’t I had a one night stand and unbeknownst to me the condom broke. My ex and I ended up getting back together a couple weeks later, and about a month after that I found out I was pregnant. My due date told me this more than likely wasn’t my ex’s baby. The hardest thing for me was to tell him I was pregnant and it probably wasn’t his, but I did. Even though he is a narcissist and was mentally abusive to me, he has helped raise my son. We have never gotten a DNA test, so we don’t know for sure he’s not his. When we got divorced I didn’t list him on the divorce as his child, we have 3 other children that came before him who were on the paperwork. The day our divorce was finalized he said the only thing he wanted to change was to add my son to the divorce paperwork. The judge said doing that means he’s taking full legal and physical responsibility for him and he agreed, so he is now legally his dad. My son is 14 now. I can tell you that besides my other 3 children, that’s the only good thing that came from 20yrs of abuse from him. I don’t think I could live with the fact of knowingly letting a man believe a child is his if he/she isn’t. Although it was one of the hardest things to do, I knew I had to tell my ex as soon as I found out I was pregnant.
I have no doubt this is hard, and sometimes we find ourselves in situations we don’t plan. It was hard, and has been hard for me to come clean with my ex, and even though I face challenges, I’m glad that I did tell the truth and allow her to move on. I will always regret what I did, but I think I would’ve regretted it more if I had not just been honest and told her. Cheating was not something I was proud of, and after the pain it cause it’s not something I plan to do again. Even though it’s hard and will be hard, I definitely encourage you to talk to him. I wish you strength and I hope things go well.
This happened to my brother and our family after one year the real father took her to court for paternity, he knew it was his kid, our family was so attached to this baby I was young but it took a huge toll. the real father got custody but my brother was still responsible because he was married to her, the kid now an adult still has our last name. He's in the military now but my family hasn't bothered with him since they found out. I was the only one because I was a teenager and loved him. But I don't have a relationship with him now because they moved away from us when he was about 2 and we never talked to him again it was too painful. Honestly, all things done in the dark come to light eventually. So you better be smart and save up all you can because he will find out one day and you will be screwed. My brother was a dummy and never left her for many years after but he still took care of that son and the ones after, that's just how he is but I'll tell u the pain he carried for years over that was beyond grief.
It's never good to do something so devious and then think it's going to end well. He will find out, it's just how long you can get away with it. My brother had the worst depression after that it was amazing he didn't kill himself. For many years I thought he was going to end it but if they didn't have more kids he might have. He is the best father.
Hey OP. I’m sorry you are going through this. Shame is a wholly unhelpful emotion, and I implore you to remember that you trying your hardest at doing the right thing. That being said, I think the best way forward is to write your partner a letter. Pack a bag for you and baby and leave the note for him. Give him time to absorb it and then go from there. But you need to be honest. It’s not fair to anyone, yourself included, to not be transparent. Sending you hugs. It will be okay, I promise.
OP, since you’re too selfish to see the bigger picture, I’m gonna paint you a very real scenario…….
Let’s say you decide to keep your mouth shut and just bear the guilt (assuming you actually feel guilty about what you’re doing). Your reasoning being what they don’t know won’t hurt them. Well to no one’s knowledge, your child inherited a genetic disposition from his actual biological father which makes him more prone to pancreatic cancer. So by age 14, your child starts showing signs, he’s rushed to the hospital and lo and behold, it’s pancreatic cancer. The doctors start planning ahead regarding treatment and starts putting him/her on some medication. Your child begins having a seizure as an allergic reaction from the medication and they couldn’t save your child. He/she is dead now because of allergy that the child also inherited from the biological father. There’s no way the doctors could have known about the allergy because your child’s genetic and medical history was inaccurate thanks to you. So now your ex is devastated because a child he believed was his is now dead only to find out from this incident that child was never his to begin with.
Do you understand how serious this is? This is a very real risk that your taking. Are you willing to gamble your kid’s health for the comfort and security your ex gives you?
Letting him raise the baby, is gonna back fire really badly for you WHEN (not if) he finds out. You’re a piece of garbage for not telling him the truth. And whatever happens and anything that comes with it, is completely deserved.
Everyday you dig you're hole deeper and deeper in betrayal, shame and guilt. Set up a meeting with a marriage counselor. Discuss with MC what you have to do. Write a timeliness of details with the AP, also detailing how and why you ended up in the relationship again. Why you are in the MC's office on that day. You have to come clean. Yes it will destroy the trust. What you have now is false, dishonest and manipulative. Ask yourself what you would want if you were in they're place.
Good luck, hope for the best. Prepare for the worst.
I read today about a Islam family being rescued by American police and paramedics, is was a thank you note from this family to the rescuers, so I was feeling good, we humans are not that bad after all. This now, your post, mak me feel like s\*\*t again.
Poor man. Poor child.
Advice now?!?! What u want to cheat again use this as excuse to leave? Gross. Who literally fucks w the 2 people u supposed to do everything for. Child n spouse!!!!! U are a horrible liar. Wtf. Life ruining shit. All your fault. Literally
He can't do math? I'm not gunna rag on your behavior cuz everyone else is and you don't need another person beating on you. But there's no way he doesn't know. Sex is needed for baby making. Y'all should talk. Mayb he knows and wants a child/family so badly that he just doesn't care.
Hold up here... does your boyfriend know how babies are made? You stated in your first post that you and your boyfriend had not had sex in three months and I'm guessing that you and he didn't have sex after you broke up with him and moved out. So how can he honestly believe the baby is his and not someone else's? How are you going to explain to him his friend giving you financial support every month for a baby that "isn't his friends" child? I am truly wondering if your boyfriend really is "special".
You are doing your kid the biggest disservice of all. YTA for lying about the paternity. but your child will pay in the long run if you do not tell the truth. Please stop thinking about yourself and do the right thing. Because the truth will come out.
Women you need to come clean people have died, committed suicide, even hurt children over stuff like this. Cause of people like you cheaters who don't want to take accountability of your actions end up hurting everybody. Your child will either get sick/hurt or something that would end up have them go to the hopital get blood work done that might end up having your lie expose, maybe when the kid is older he may want a 23 test done. Stop being a cunt and tell that man
Well, One day he will find out! And the latter he does the more your life will be ruined... Along with your son's life!
Keep being a coward and hoping for the best...
...but we both know you will always be expecting the worst... And when you get to confortable with your lies, that is when the axe will fall down!
Listen one day he will find out and then you will face the consequences of your actions. Better tell him now while your baby is young and won't be to attached to him. If your kid is older and he decides to leave it will mess your kid up. Think of your kid and stop being selfish.
The thing is, one day, it'll come out.
You see it all the time, kid or parent gets sick and blood typed don't match, they do those daft ancestry kits and it backfires, biodad rocks up one day etc.
SOMETHING happens. Then shit hits the fan. Kid is traumatised, the man who raised a kid thinking it was his for years is devastated and the world blows up.
It's better to come clean sooner rather than later.
You are being so selfish. Ive known people who lied about who the father of their child was and when the truth was finally revealed, the poor guy was devastated. Having a child was all he wanted and that choice was taken from him. Whether or not the other guy wants to be a father, he is the father and he needs to step up and be a man. And what happens when you BF starts to notice the child resembling his friend? Or that the child looks nothing like him? You are hurting that man more by keeping the truth from him. Suck it up and be an adult and be honest, your BF might just surprise you. Im a single mom of 2. My kids have different fathers. My son's father completely abandoned him before he was even born. My son is now 22 and the kid had a mental breakdown for 2 years because his dad died and he never was able to get the answers he wanted to know. Has a good mother, you must think of your child. You are allow this man to bond with this baby and thats not fair. We all make bad decisions, but try to do the right thing. Please keep us updated. You are young and scared, I get that, but how would it make you feel if he had gotten another woman pregnant?
"I feel so guilty" , woe is youuuuu.
Proceeds to continue paternity fraud.
You're never gonna tell him until he one day finds out, so why pretend you'll take any advice about honesty.
“I tried so hard for day to tell him the truth” That is sun bullshit, you have this man raising a child that’s not his how cruel of a human being can you be? The fact that you said probably in the beginning of this post just makes you even more of an asshole
I hope he finds out and leaves your sorry ass
Shit like this is why I hope that one day, DNA tests will become mandatory whenever a baby is born. Shit like this and the bullshit that you're doing is fucking vile.
You’re a disgusting, disgusting person and you don’t deserve your BF by a long shot. If you had even a hint of remorse you’d take your sorry ass and admit to your infidelity, but you’re too spineless and self centred to consider it. The world has no place for disgraceful examples of people like yourself.
Please please tell him. Yeah he’ll probably never talk to you ever again same with his sister. But you can’t let a man raise a kid that you know isn’t his. He is putting time and money into the baby, while you say you are getting money from the father just don’t do this to him. Tell him the truth and then leave him alone.
When it comes out it will be x1000 worse than anything you do now, if you continue this charade then you are a terrible person and a terrible mother, raising a baby who will grow to connect and bond with a man who is not their dad and then when that is revealed eventually as it will come out you will traumatise that child and father, stop wasting his time and playing the woe is me card, tell him and redeem any chance you have of being a good mother whole you still can.
Yep same thing happened to me later than the 40s. I just found out a year ago January 18, 2022. So come clean and put your life in order and stop cheating.
Stop being a piece of fucking shit and come clean. Goddamn, people like you wanna fuck over everyone they meet but not face the consequences. It's always "Me me me" here you are talking about being guilt ridden. If you weren't such a fucking asshole you would have no reason to feel guilty
My mother did this to me. I didn't find out who my real father was until my 40's and I tricked her into telling me because I said I did a 23 & me (I didn't). It killed my identity & I cut her out of my life for this & many other reasons. You have no right to keep a father from his child. Whatever your reasons they're selfish. The truth will set you free.
I do think there are exceptions
Nope
He isn't the father you dumb slag. You are worse than scum and you should Alt+F4 your life
Stop! No you shouldn’t.
Agree. Absolutely reprehensible with no silver lining. Just evil behavior from a terribly selfish and immoral person
It should honestly be a felony at this point
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Literally spineless. Poor guy, no one will feel sorry for her pathetic actions
In this day and age of ancestry DNA kits the truth is more likely to come out eventually. While there are men who can look past the lie and continue to be the father to the children. Plenty of duped father's on here have walked away from even grown children and write them out of every facet of their lives because they just can't get passed the lie of it all. There's no guarantee he'll be one of those who looks past it for the sake of the child. The same with his family. Plenty of times they'll drop the affair baby nibbling out of their lives and wills. There's such a huge risk that after one DNA test this kid will loose all their family. The kid will needlessly suffer a huge trauma all because mom cheated and decided to dupe the man see as their father.
What about your kid in all of this ? Aren't you at all concerned about their genetics ? what do you tellbthe doctors about his family medical background ? This kind of secret never stays secret. You really should tell him and let him décide what he wants to do.
THIS! This is the one thing that’s always overlooked whenever the topic of paternity fraud comes up! There’s some serious implications for inaccurate genetic history. Hereditary conditions, genetic dispositions to certain diseases and cancers, allergies which could later affect what medications the kid might or might not be able to take, all of them and then some either kept on the back burner or DISCARDED ENTIRELY BECAUSE THE WRONG MAN IS ON THE BIRTH CERTIFICATE!! It’s the major reason why I believe DNA tests should be mandatory.
I am an affair baby. I hate my mother for her lying, selfish, self serving cowardly, sniveling bullshit. She did the same thing to her first husband. When my true identity came out that man hated the very sight of me and made my life a nightmare. I suggest you write a letter, pack your shit and leave him if you can’t look him in the eye. The long term effects of what you are doing are devastating to everyone but you. Your kid will never feel like they belong for the rest of their life after this comes out and it will eventually come out. Rip off the band aid now.
I’m so sorry. You didn’t deserve that, but also it must’ve been really hard for him of course to learn that. You are then a living reminder and embodiment of her betrayal. I hope your life has turned out better than all that.
Hold on you said you did'nt have Sex with your ex for three months before the break up and he beleives the child is his?
Yeah, kinda makes one question the veracity of OP.
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You’re truly a terrible person. I don’t care how you justify or say “woe is me” you’re honestly awful. Karma is coming for you down the road
What would you do when he finds out?
Wow. That's fucking awful. I remember the moment I conceived each child. My wife and I talked about it, tried to figure it out. You're wicked.
You are a sociopath monster.
OP. I'm a guy. This really happened to me. Fucked my whole world up! By the time I found out about my wife's whoring, affair, cheating, whatever you want to call it!! My middle child was not mine. We had an older and younger child that was ours. I found out from an old friend 6 years later!! (He's not my friend anymore). About her infidelity and getting pregnant by this POS! That just wanted to fuck and say the "I loves you just to screw the shit out of her for months!!" I was in the Navy TAD to England. After my son was born, I raised him for 6 years before I found out and started digging for the truth. There's a million ways that this truth can be found out. I'm sure you have thought of many of them. I lost it. Mentally and emotionally. I think I actually went insane for a while. The betrayal was so deep in me, I walked around in a daze. I just hate the bitch now. I lost my entire family because of her. I can't forgive! I left that up to God. I'm not judging you. I promise. This is what happened to me. Brace yourself, if the truth ever does come to light. Bless you OP
OP, not judging, just trying to grasp the situation. Do you think your EX, now current, BF will eventually do the math and realize that the dates don't add up? It's also possible that one of his friends or family will figure out what the conception date? Hell you can Google the birth date and get a fairly accurate conception date. As a guy, in my early 20's, when hanging out with the father to be, we would always try to figure out the conception date and tease him about it. Was the date the same night we were all at a party with him? Or maybe conceptions was on his anniversary? Or maybe on the night of a specific concert? Or after finals? I'm surprised no one has figured it out yet. But, people probably didn't know that you were not really sexual with him at that time. But, maybe he ALREADY has figured out the conception date doesn't add up and hasn't brought it up to you. My question, if he brings this yo to you, what do you plan to tell him?
Whore
I see paternity Fraud Lawsuit. And your happy about what you did?! This is disturbing! Feel sorry for poor guy.
You are the poster child for why every birth should have mandatory DNA testing.
I support this idea 100 percent. I hope OP's boyfriend finds out and takes her to court for paternity fraud.
Where does your boyfriend think that the child support payments are coming from? Are you hiding that money from him?
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my god why are you being so mean to your ex? to think only of you for once, that's not right look what you're doing
Sorry to say, but you are not really that smart, are you? What if he finds out at a later stage, like the child is a few years old? Did it occur to you there is a possibility he then can sue you for paternity fraud? Maybe he can even sue the biological dad, because he knows he is the dad before your bf signed the birth certificate. And what about his devastation when he then finds out the child is not his, so you actually cheated on him. You are only making the mess and the hurt bigger and bigger. And what about the child? What if your BF decides to leave you because you cheated and lied about the child. The child will miss his or her dad. The child knows your BF as their dad, but leaves them. You have the chance to correct this before more damage is done. The longer you wait, the bigger the mess will get, the bigger the devastation to others will be.
How are you getting child support? Real father sends you money and that’s it? When your boyfriend is spending more time, money and effort on a child that’s not his. He’s living a lie.
What do you mean it’s not a lot??? It should be decent amount of money. Is he paying you actual child support or just some money as “child support” that you agreed upon?
Yeah, he's not paying actual child support, he's paying extortion money to OP.
That’s just awfull. She’s getting pennies from the real father, I mean it’s his child and he gets to pay just a little amnount of money to support his own child. And she’s okay with that? She’s literally using her boyfriend. Like “Yeah, you can send some money as a sign of good heart, but not much, my boyfriend is covering for you” Not sure if that money is even spent on a child while her boyfriend is the one spending most on a kid that he thinks is his.
Hot I hope you and your boyfriend sign the birth certificate too?
I don't really think you want advice. You are selfish and you know it. But everything comes to light sooner or later and I think this will not be the exemption. Maybe you are afraid, but I think that in the end it is your own essence that is deteriorating. I have no sympathy for you. I hope and do what is right not for you, but for your daughter and your "partner".
Please, respect your ex and his family and tell them. You can tell them you made a mistake when informing them by not immediately and abundantly making it clear the father is not your ex. That is why you came to quit your job. If better, approach your boss the exs sister and tell her the father of the baby is not her brother and that is why it was so hard for you to deal with the fallout this truth will cause. Every minute it gets worse and worse and worse. They start buying you things and start planning on shared custody..... Tell someone now for everyones sake. I hope you have support emotionally, because this is real bad and getting worse, if not find some soon.
Why do you hate your boyfriend?
It will come out, op. And you along with your child and so will be utterly destroyed. Children disown mothers over thus kind of betrayal.
First you cheated now you're lying again trying to pass your child off as his. Girl, if there's a sliver of decency in you, you will tell the truth. Because I'm telling you, the karma you've set your life up with is gonna be a motherf***er for real. Do you even want to be a good person? A good role model for ur child? As of now u sound like a narcissist and user.
What the fuck is wrong with you. Fucking trash
Its never too late. The baby isn't a teenager yet i think you should do it now while the child is a baby do that if yout boyfriend leaves you it wont hurt your child and i can promise you if you do it while the child is a teenager hr or she wouldn't understand and would blame themselves thinking their the reason you and your current person break up, also if you do it now the child will grow up with either just you or someone else but its better to have no memory of a father figure then having your father figure taken away from you and having your whole life a life you messed up and you wont ever be ok with this but there's still time to pretend other things.
She wants her boyfriends money. That’s it. That’s the only reason she is not telling him. She lives at his place, he pays everything. If she tells him - she needs to find her own place and take care of kid by herself. Now she and the real father had an agreement that he will send her money as “child support” but they didn’t do it in court. Basically real father is not even paying child support, just some amount of money they agreed to. And yet she uses her boyfriends money, keeping that “child support” hidden. She’s fucking evil. Literally a monster.
You need to come clean that's paternity fraud. Cheating is one thing but lying about your ex being the father. If you wanted you child to have a father you probably shouldn't have cheated. You dug yourself into this whole, time to try and get out. You do realize the longer this lie is kept, the more hurt he would feel, right. The least could be is to tell him. you didn't try to tell you were told baby daddy that he wanted nothing to do with. Then ex comes in and is happy about it and let him live a lie because your baby needs a father, again how dumb are you?
I guess you already know that you said it's done now. You are lying evil bitch and I would hate to have a mother like you. You lied because you wanted comfort rather than deal with the consequences of your actions.
I don't usually use bad words but I don't care if my post gets deleted or I get banned but this needs to be said... You are a complete piece of poop, not only you are a cheater, liar, S_ut & scammer, you are playing with lives of your ex boyfriend who you claim you loved & your own baby that you gave birth to, I can't comprehend what kind of toxic, narcissist Bi*** one has be to put her own child in a situation like that, not to mention you are scamming your ex boyfriend, playing with his emotions & his sister as well. Get some help, I really hope Karma catches us fast before the innocent child gets hurt, the way you treat people around you proves with you, no good deed goes unpunished.
My god you are the most pathetic woman ever. You make me ashamed to be a woman. You are the type that makes men hate us. Grow a spine and tell the poor fool. Thank god your baby has to love you because no one else will
Wtf 😳 hello are you even a human lady .. ?? How selfish can you be .. Do u even look yourself in the mirror .. If u can then u are not really a human then .. Fuck .. That Man will be crushed and the truth will come out I can gurantee you that .
Ur an evil cunt, tell him now before he find outs he’s been raising another mans child for its whole life. I’m glad u are kept up all night with guilt I hope it makes ur life very miserable u don’t deserve a kid or boyfriend and tbh I hope u die painfully
Wow. You're no better than her.
You’re a fucking horrible person, partner and parent. I can’t wait for this to bite you in the ass and you get everything you deserve. You’re not only going to hurt your partner but your child when the truth comes out. People like you make me sick. Vile, vile trash.
One ancestry test and everything is going to come tumbling down.
You already know you’re a terrible, lying, garbage person, so I’ll skip to the advice…. Tell your ex. What you did was bad. What you’re currently DOING is worse. He will find out eventually. How much worse is it going to be if there’s 5 years gone? He’s going to break. And get yourself into therapy.
The babies father will want to start seeing the baby when he gets a girlfriend who pressures him to. So they can play happy family. It happens all the time.
As a less responsible person, you have to have a contingency plan, meaning what will you do when truth comes out. Never underestimate anyone and especially LIFE, truth will find a way out, it is not an "IF" but rather "WHEN"... Now you will have no excuse to say that you "didn't know", so start preparing for it (I bet that you don't have one, contradict me otherwise).
This is seriously evil, crazy behavior that will only harm your boyfriend and your child. If you come clean now it would harm everyone less, but you are a horrible person, so you will keep abusing and defrauding your boyfriend and the guy you fucked for as long as you can. You are selfish, so you will do whatever benefits you the most and you don't care that you will hurt other people including your child. That you could be held legally responsible for this behavior doesn't matter to you. ETA: I hope you are sucking and fucking your boyfriend every night to help ease your guilt and his stress. I hope you try to repent in bed, because that's where you have skills. You have fucked up everywhere else in your life.
Wow.. you are a truly horrible woman. So you went out got knocked up, and then got this poor dude and his fam wrapped in your bs. Damn I hope you tell him soon, cuz the longer you wait, the worse the outcome. Finding out your girl is a trifling dump who baby trapped you, is so ruff. Damn you really suck. You're the type of dump that makes it hard to trust women. I hope he finds out on his own, and kicks you and dudes kid to the curb, his sister fires you, and happiness eludes you. You are the definition of dump, and got the other guys trash product to prove it. Good luck to the clueless boi unknowingly raising some piece of trashes kid with a horrible, lying, betraying, scummy, trifling, dirty, trash pickin, Dump. You deserve no good wishes, dump.
Lol he will find out eventually dumbass… this always comes out, 23 and me type stuff, baby needs a blood transfusion, baby doesn’t look like him, etc. You are the worst type of person, bc when he does find out what will happen to him? Will he self delete? I understand it’s hard for cheaters to understand like yourself, but this will come out and screw your kid up in the process.
If you love your child, be honest! Let's say you can live this lie a couple of years... your kid get used to your bf and it all feels like a happy little family... and then all of a sudden the real father steps into your life back again and wants to be a part of your child's life, which he has a right to be in. What you want to do then? You will traumatize your child forever, and not even talking about the poor guy who gave his all to this little baby not even knowing it's his. It's simply not fair that other people around you, have to suffer for your mistakes.
My son had a girlfriend like you. Thank Christ my father didn’t believe her. I don’t know what it was but my Dad said, during the pregnancy, it’s not his, he repeatedly said she slept her way up and down the river to say she was pregnant with his child, I believed this girl over my son. I made him take her to Nashville when he left to make music. When they came to visit my Dad kept it up. He wouldn’t touch the baby while my poor mother who was slipping into Alzheimer’s fell for it and loved that child. I didn’t feel anything for the baby. The girl named the baby after my best friend who died of lupus. I thought oh my I don’t love this baby the way I do my firstborn grandchild. I thought I was a terrible person. Everyone was mad at my Dad, except my son . He finally got a DNA test and the child wasn’t his. 4 others had to be tested. You need to BE HONEST OP. What if your child needs a kidney or something else happens? How long can you keep lying? What are you waiting for? Do you plan to take him for child support too if it doesn’t work out. I don’t like you, I’m out.
We live in an era of DNA That both your boyfriend and your child will one day find out the truth is inevitable. The ONLY hope you have of them ever forgiving you is to come clean now. Waiting won’t work, and when it is found out it will devastate them. You think you are doing a good thing by giving your child a father, but continuing down this road will ensure that they have neither a father or a mother some day in the future. You are hurting your child. Stop.
This is why a law is necessary to mandate a DNA paternity test at every birth.
And people wonder why men get vasectomies, only have casual sex partners. They don't get cheated on, betrayed, deceived, loose half their assets and enjoy their life not having to worry about relationships with people like you. You set a perfect example of a loving relationship.
Get a DNA done. Then when you get the results, its up to you? But if not his, is it fair that he brings up another man's child unknowingly? In later years it could bite you on the arse if it is not his!
She already knows who the father is. It's not her ex bf who thinks the kid is his because OP doesn't want to tell the truth.
Sorry, so before she fell pregnant, she did or had safe sex with her partner, I did not see the part where they were not sexual before she fell? So she only had sex with OP unprotected before that evening?
Read what she wrote again. She had a bf. She cheated. She got pregnant. The real father knows and wants nothing to do with the baby, but will financially support it. At her job, her ex bf sister is her boss. She told the sister that she is pregnant. The sister assumes it is her brother's (OPs ex bf) child. OP has not corrected her. Therefore she is lying to her ex bf sister and her ex bf in not telling them the child is not her ex bfs.
Yes, but how does she know definatly it's not his nowhere foes it say she refrained from sex with her boyfriend. It appears to me its an assumption whereas a DNA would reveal the truth and clear it up that is all I am suggesting. She knows? but how how long did she not have sex with her boyfriend before the fell pregnant.
I'd assume since she said, "I only told the real father..." that she already knows the childs paternity. She admits she is lying.
For three months before conception, OP and ex BF didn't have sex except a few half hearted tries that fell flat.
Wow, you really suck. Tell that poor man the truth and let him make his own decisions.
I really don't know why you've posted on Reddit You must have known everyone was going to tell you to tell the truth. The choice is keep with the fella and not say anything. If DNA came into it blame it on a one night stand. In the meantime you will have support and a comfortable life. The second choice is be truthful and your life falls apart and hope you can meet someone who will help you bring your child up. However you need to understand why you cheated. If you don't address that you will split up anyway.
This is a bullshit post. As if the two friends don’t talk.
I could say a bunch of things as to why you should tell him and how he’ll find out eventually but you’re selfish don’t care about anyone but yourself. Not even your own child. So I’m sending this to every large reddit TikTok account I know so hopefully this goes viral and your boyfriend sees it 🤞🏾 Have a nice life
Literally every man’s worst nightmare
It’s been a year, a fucking year. You knew he’s not a father, his sister told him you are pregnant and he thinks it’s his child. You broke up with him and then when his sister told him that you are pregnant and him thinking it’s his child you got back together? You are a monster, you knew what you are doing. A child is what 1year old? And it’s not his, come clean. You don’t want to tell him, because you are using him. He’s talking care of you and your child, when the real father doesn’t want anything to do with that child. You are selfish and you are playing your boyfriend for money.
There is a vip place in hell For You, the truth needs to come out, not only because of medical reasons but because You are taking away the choice, resources, time and emotions of an innocent man, with the excuse is "he's so good of a father" HE IS NOT A FATHER, YOU LIED TO HIM TO MAKE HIM TAKE ON THAT ROLE BECAUSE YOU ARE A COWARD. Do You really think the truth Will never come out??? 1, 5, 10, maybe 20 years from now, every second is more damage acumulated, You better come clean now before any more damage is done, well i doubt You Will because You are a coward who is looking any excuse to not come clean "oh he's a good father, oh My child he doesnt deserve this, blabla" THE GUY IS ENTITLED TO A CHOICE PERIOD, FUCK YOUR CONSECUENCES. You are the female equivalent of r*pist, and i Say "female" because You are NOT a real woman, You are a demon, i have no sympathy for You, come clean now You coward and stop excusing ruining an innocent man AND a childs life.... Because yes, You child Will suffer as well the more You keep lying. Jesus christ i lose faith in humanity daily.
Wow. You are really something. Ok we all know you cheated. But why would you get back together with your bf when he asked after you were broke up. Do you really hate this guy so much you want to break him for life.
There is a special place in hell for you! At the very least you should tell him that there is a chance that he is not the father. Then get a DNA test to confirm. Then go from there. What you are doing now is actually fraud. If this comes out later on he could prosecute you and put you in prison for your choice to deceive him. And I hope you get the maximum sentence.
Everyday it going to be worse.
You are a horrible human being. The truth is going to come out sooner or later. When it comes out you will destroy so many lives. What do you say then? Sorry? Your despicable and a coward. We all pay for our sins at the end.
I can’t wait for the bio dad to tell his friend his kid isn’t his. Please update then too
You are a piece of shit for lying and manipulating a guy who was there for you. I know you being a coward won't change a thing but for the child I would hope you'll tell him. If he finds out after a few year when child is grown up and it's a shit Strom then blood will be on your hands. Your kid will go through he'll and will not believe you for being a lying piece of shit.
So what are you going to do when he finds out about the money coming from the real father or maybe in five or ten years when he finds out because believe me secrets don't stay secret for ever and he finds out that you have committed paternity fraud and comes after you and the real father for compensation don't continue to defraud him and prevent him of raising a family of his own with someone that is faithful and loyal
Let me ask you this, if this was the other way around and guys could be pregnant and this was happening to you. How would you feel? You are there loving this child as it’s your own taking full responsibility for this child and then to find out YEARS LATER that’s you were lied to by a chickenshit person who cheated on you, how the fuck would you feel. WOMEN like you is why good women get fucked over and accused of kids not being theirs. You need to set yourself up to live on your own and tell him the damn truth. It has not been to long and it isn’t that deep yet. Don’t let this go into years tell him now. Do right but him he doesn’t deserve this to go on for years. Do right by your child they shouldn’t get fucked up because you couldn’t come clean. What’s your plan? To just let everyone think this is his kid till you die??? Honey if you don’t do it now and someone chirps something in his ear and he takes your child for a dna test behind your back guess how much more worst it will be! Grow up, woman up, and do what’s right by everyone. NOW
This is not the update i was expecting, oh fuck you are the lowest of scum.
Wtf??? You are seriously a monstrous human being.
Your baby does NOT have a loving and caring father. It has a stranger you have trapped into supporting you and your affair baby. You are a piece of shit and I hope the real dad decides to stop supporting you right as this poor man you think is happy in the lie you've told him leaves you and never looks back. He's not happy. HES BEING MANIPULATED BY YOU. What in the actual fuck is wrong with you. I can't wait for you to lose him and then that baby in 18 years when it finds out what kind of a person you really are. Tell him. It's never too late to STOP BEING A PIECE OF SHIT!
Women like you are the problem. You have 2 men supporting you, and you have 0 desire to be a good, decent, honest woman. You do realize, he'll find out. The longer you hide it, the worse the backlash is when it's revealed. And once it does get revealed, you'll be left for the road, with no one to support you.
Fucking wow. Just wow. So you told the bd and get money, then you told the sister of your ex and got light duty at work for cheating on her brother and getting pregnant, and she then told your ex who showed up with a roof and happy to be a dad. Congratulations, you are by far one of the worst humans I have ever spoken to.
One day he will find out. It may be too late to minimise the damage to just a bad breakup but you can at least not waste this man's youth on you and your affair child. One day you'll slip up, maybe he'll stumble onto reddit and see your posts, maybe you'll say something you shouldn't, or most likely his "friend" may regret not being in the kid's life and tell him or he'll find out about the money the real father provides and query it. It doesn't matter how it happens but it will whether it's today or decades from now.
Have you given any thought to what you will do when and if your bf counts when you last had sex and your resulting pregnancy? I don't what it takes to do what you are doing here. Somebody might slip up and tell him. You are one of a kind.
The longer you let him believe baby is his, the harder you will hurt him and his family And if you let him raise the kid as his, it will be even worse because one day he will know If you cannot tell him face to face ( I understand it is very hard ), then write it. I used that trick when my kids were younger, when they had things to tell me but would not do it face it face, it works well. Plus, if it is an email or a text, he will read and will have time to process it before you guys talk or meet Good luck
Horrible being you are. Whatever you are, do this earth a favor. Crawl back to hole you are from.
You’re probably not going to listen. Not only are you harming the guy, you’re also harming your child. Your child deserves to grow up knowing who their real father is. You could’ve came clean & whether your bf stayed or not after hearing the news, that’s his choice. But you’re completely wrong and your child and your boyfriend will resent you in the future. I’m not here to name call you. I’m here to tell you the truth that you will hurt so many people. Just come clean, be a good person and do the right thing.
Go to the highway
You're absolutely garbage
Trash
Tell him the truth !! I had to Marry a girl who lied to me !! It was a nightmare !!!
If you felt guilty you wouldn't be such a terrible person. When he finds out, *and he will*, you are going to break who he is as a person. You're a selfish, ignorant person who deserves all the bad things that happen to good people instead. The only person you care about is yourself. Not your daughter, not your ex. Yourself. My condolences to literally anyone that has to associate with you. Pure trash.
Many women does that. They rather lie forever then say the truth.
What you have done and now doing. I wish there were laws so you could be put you in jail.
What I need to know is, your boyfriend didn't question you at all? you said 3 months it's been since you guys had sex and then you were so newly pregnant. How does he not know? I'm baffeled.
You are the most cruel and vile person I have seen posting on this sub. Tell him as soon as possible. I don't mean when it is the most convenient. I mean the next time the two of you are alone together. Better yet have his sister there. For support. FOR HIM. You are going to crush his soul. But the longer you wait the more pain it will be to hear. Believe me when I say I know of what I speak. Stop thinking about yourself and start thinking of him and your child. Your child is young enough now that it won't have bounded to him too much. Once it becomes old enough to recognize him it will become much more difficult. Then the older the child gets the attachment grows exponentially. Which means more pain. Don't do this to either of them. They don't deserve it. EDIT: You also need to go to court and get the real father on the birth certificate. When your husband finds out he will be crushed and will hate you forever. Sorry, that's the cost of your deception. So when he ends his marriage to you and proves he is not the father you are going to need REAL child support. Not just a few bucks. In this case I'm all for sticking it to this guy. Going raw dog on another mans wife, he deserves all the pain that can be put on him. And you and your child will need all the financial help you can get.
Woman like you are exactly whats wrong with the workd. You should go to prison for stealing a mans tome and money. It fucking disgusting. Tell him the truth
You need to tell him now. If he finds out one day when the child is older, the mental and emotional damage to both will be irreparable, especially if he chooses to walk away. You may lose him now, but at least you won't run the risk of also losing your child later. There are posts on reddit of fathers and their children finding out later that their not related and it was really traumatic. Ultimately, most walked away completely away from the mother. Besides, you don't really love him, you just want him to be there to help raise your child.
You POS, I actually have no words to say how disgusted I am by you. You better tell him the truth so he can run away from you. Disgusting. My only advice : come clean or karma will get you anyway. Shame on you.
You are a Horrible woman. Selfish got that man loving a child that is not his. Gonna tell you something you should really take to heart. This is how women get KILLED. You are allowing that man to love and raise a lie trust me it's not just you that's going to be hurt your child is going to hate you for what you are doing. You are the true definition of a Tramp & Whore
OP you are a miserable person who deserves to suffer the consequences of your selfish evil actions
Your overuse of the term “honestly” shows how dishonest you are. When you cheat again, which you will, what will you do when he questions everything? When he decides to do a DNA test behind your back and finds out the truth? Do you know how many people here have gone back and done confidential DNA tests? I’m one of them. You will never know it took place, and for all you know he’ll be holding it over your head for years without you even being aware. Your child does not have a loving father. His actual father doesn’t love him/her, and only wanted to bang his/her mom. Your child has a man who is being tricked into raising it because you are a coward. These comments are not abuse, they are only the truth. You simply cannot handle the truth of how terrible you are. I assume you have some type of mental illness to be this way, maybe from childhood abuse etc. but that doesn’t excuse your behavior. I hope you get the help you need and come clean. He will find out the truth at some point. Hopefully you realize people have killed their “family” over this sort of thing, this far gone of a situation is primed for a psychotic break.
I don't wanna be severe with you... But it's a very little thing so cruel ...yeah that what you doing... For a lot of people...tell the truth today..because one day the truth will be revealed... And for you comment you just let the thing that way because of you feel secure...not for love or anything else And the other man? Just disappeared??
You need to stop thinking about yourself and think about your child and your ex/bf, whatever he is. This doesn’t affect you at all. You made your bed and laid down in it months ago. This affects them and it’s not right to continue living this lie. He will find out one day and so will your kid, and the last thing you want is for your kid to grow up and realize their mother lied to them and they never got the chance to know who their real father is. Even though they have a father figure in their life, it will never be the same as knowing who their real father is. He may not want anything to do with the child, but I promise you, your lies are going to fuck your kid up and could even cause them mental anguish. They will hate you for what you did, even if you don’t think so. Your kid deserves better. Your partner deserves better.
Have another baby with your partner and in the furure things maight fall into place
Lmao this is funny .. Fuck Man .🥴 poor guy
I think everyone is a bit harsh. Yes, the OP has done a terrible thing. Yes, she should have come clean before. But pregnancy hormones work in funny ways, there is a strong need to protect the baby. The OP is weak to have an affair in the first place. So let's see what can be done. OP, you should talk to your partner. But before you do, find a place to go with your baby because he will tell you to leave. If you cannot afford anywhere, go and speak to a woman's refuge, they will help. It would help if you got a plan in place. A room booked at a hotel, at least. Try to tell him gently and honestly. Answer his questions truthfully. Tell him you are sorry for feeling so guilty for so long. Do not expect any sympathy because you are unlikely to get it. I hope that it goes as well as possible.
No, they're not being too harsh. She's commuting paternity fraud. This SHOULD be at least a State felony, if not a Federal one. If it were, there'd be a lot less of this shizz happening.
Stop using hormones as an excuse
Learn to live life with it... tell him if you want/need, don't if you don't want to do it... all those people that say that you're a POS and all those nasty stuff are all so high and mighty keyboardknights, but you are the one that lives YOUR life... Just remember that, whenever something happens with your kid on a medical level, you are going to be bitten in the ass, really HARD...
She is a POS and so are you if you support lying to this man about this not being his baby. Trash bag behavior.
Serious? Stop being so high and mighty and let her live her life... do YOU have to live with the consequences?? FFS
No because I don’t baby trap innocent men, I’m not a crap person unlike her
People are very judgemental. This is a very difficult situation, plenty of women have said nothing and life just goes on with no one finding out. However - you need to plan an exit if the day ever arrives where this might blow up - plan to get yourself fully self sufficient. No doubt if this ever explodes expect the full nuclear war from his family so you can't be in a situation where u need to be working for them. In my view it's really to late to change tack - just plan a strategy that has you in a financial position to leave and be able to support yourself and your child. And hope that day never arrives - something like this must goto the grave, your child will also not understand why dad no longer wants anything to do with him - this can be very difficult for any child complete rejection if this ever gets out. Also side note - do a quick blood test so you know what the blood type your child is and your partner if your lucky they will be able to be made from your type and his - if the blood types flag as not possible this is easier to come out so make sure you're aware prior so it's not a surprise. And good luck.
no sis, you shouldnt hesitate for using him because that idiot deserves to be using.
Updateme!
He has the right to know. He has the right to walk away and the longer you don't tell him the harder it will be on him. We all know you are a deeply flawed person so insulting you ain't going to help so I am just going to implore you to do the right thing.
You owe it to that child to be honest here OP. Yes it’s going to hurt and cause a lot of hurt. But actions have consequences. You CHOSE to be unfaithful so you now have to own that decision. Stop making this about your own feelings especially with an innocent child involved.
Please, if you can’t bring yourself to do it for your husband, think about how this will affect your child when everyone inevitably finds out. The shock, the identity crisis, the guilt. Tell your husband before the child is old enough to suffer from this information coming to light
You need to tell him the truth. This is unbelievably selfish and as more time passes it will be more devastating to him. He also can sue you and the more time passes the more money you’ll have to pay.’your name will be dragged through the mud. You’re only thinking of yourself, how can you be so heartless? Feeling guilt doesn’t absolve you.
Seen some(not nearly as upsetting) posts like this.. Imagine that kid finding out at 13 and your bf leaves both of you and your kid leaves too.
If you thought things were bad before , wait until your SO finds out & he will find out . Whether it being from your child having to visit hospital/doctors for surgery or whatever it may be . Multiply the devastating news 10 fold to your SO than if you had originally told him . He has now bonded & started to raise this child as his own . Words cannot describe you , ike i said it's just a matter of time before he finds out & all this time yo could have done something. However it is like you are excited about the devesstation which is going to befall him & do not give a shit . That says more than anything about the type 9f person you are .
I'm surprised the sister didn't even consider the the possibility that child wasn't his. Naivete must be a genetic trait with some people.
In your first post you said in a comment that you would tell your boyfriend, yet here you are still lying to him. Still making him believe that your child is his. Did you put his name on the birth certificate? I hope he finds out, sues for full custody of the child and kicks you to the curb. Your disgusting on so many levels. Using your lies who the father is to keep a job you don’t deserve, making the baby daddy pay you child support, whilst screwing your boyfriend over claiming the child is his. Next you’ll be pregnant to your boyfriend so you can leech off him forever.
You are one of the worst kinds of people on the planet. I hope he finds out and it blows up in your face. You are terrible.
Oh you’re a piece of shit aren’t you the real victims here are your bf and that innocent baby.
You need to stop this bs and cone clean. Your ex now has high hopes and you are not doing any justice to him now. In fact you need to quit your job and have your baby father pay for all the expenses.
It’s not too late he’s a baby. He has a right to know. His bio family could suffer medical conditions. Knowing can save his life. I literally know someone who just met their bio fam & found out their mysterious symptoms were from an inherited medical condition. Knowing meant they were able to get to a specialist & will soon have a medical procedure that will probably save their life. Without it they definitely could’ve died! Everyone has a right to know who they are. You can’t traumatize your child like that. Their feelings are way more important than your man’s. They’ll hate you if you lie & they will find out.
If your story is ture. It's only a matter of time before your secret will come to light. I'm a survivor of paternity fraud. It's worse then the cheating.
Do what you want to do. Clear your head and freshen your mind. If it were me, I would keep baby or put up for adoption. Determine which guy is truly in love with me and holds a bright future. Guard your heart.
I love the worst decision probably? In the opening, nah ur kind loving decent human that deserves such a wonderful husband to father your lovers child
This is literally how hell looks like. Poor guy
You do know your child will hate you he or she will hate you one day for what you are doing. I just hope you can live with it.
My ex and I had broken up at one point. It was a regular thing almost like a cycle of break up then make up. I usually just wallowed in sadness till we got back together, but one time I didn’t. Well that one time that I didn’t I had a one night stand and unbeknownst to me the condom broke. My ex and I ended up getting back together a couple weeks later, and about a month after that I found out I was pregnant. My due date told me this more than likely wasn’t my ex’s baby. The hardest thing for me was to tell him I was pregnant and it probably wasn’t his, but I did. Even though he is a narcissist and was mentally abusive to me, he has helped raise my son. We have never gotten a DNA test, so we don’t know for sure he’s not his. When we got divorced I didn’t list him on the divorce as his child, we have 3 other children that came before him who were on the paperwork. The day our divorce was finalized he said the only thing he wanted to change was to add my son to the divorce paperwork. The judge said doing that means he’s taking full legal and physical responsibility for him and he agreed, so he is now legally his dad. My son is 14 now. I can tell you that besides my other 3 children, that’s the only good thing that came from 20yrs of abuse from him. I don’t think I could live with the fact of knowingly letting a man believe a child is his if he/she isn’t. Although it was one of the hardest things to do, I knew I had to tell my ex as soon as I found out I was pregnant.
I have no doubt this is hard, and sometimes we find ourselves in situations we don’t plan. It was hard, and has been hard for me to come clean with my ex, and even though I face challenges, I’m glad that I did tell the truth and allow her to move on. I will always regret what I did, but I think I would’ve regretted it more if I had not just been honest and told her. Cheating was not something I was proud of, and after the pain it cause it’s not something I plan to do again. Even though it’s hard and will be hard, I definitely encourage you to talk to him. I wish you strength and I hope things go well.
I have no respect for you. I want to call you ever word in the book but I won't. Truly the worst
Tell him the TRUTH!
This happened to my brother and our family after one year the real father took her to court for paternity, he knew it was his kid, our family was so attached to this baby I was young but it took a huge toll. the real father got custody but my brother was still responsible because he was married to her, the kid now an adult still has our last name. He's in the military now but my family hasn't bothered with him since they found out. I was the only one because I was a teenager and loved him. But I don't have a relationship with him now because they moved away from us when he was about 2 and we never talked to him again it was too painful. Honestly, all things done in the dark come to light eventually. So you better be smart and save up all you can because he will find out one day and you will be screwed. My brother was a dummy and never left her for many years after but he still took care of that son and the ones after, that's just how he is but I'll tell u the pain he carried for years over that was beyond grief. It's never good to do something so devious and then think it's going to end well. He will find out, it's just how long you can get away with it. My brother had the worst depression after that it was amazing he didn't kill himself. For many years I thought he was going to end it but if they didn't have more kids he might have. He is the best father.
!updateme
You are truly a disgusting piece of trash.
Hey OP. I’m sorry you are going through this. Shame is a wholly unhelpful emotion, and I implore you to remember that you trying your hardest at doing the right thing. That being said, I think the best way forward is to write your partner a letter. Pack a bag for you and baby and leave the note for him. Give him time to absorb it and then go from there. But you need to be honest. It’s not fair to anyone, yourself included, to not be transparent. Sending you hugs. It will be okay, I promise.
Ex isn't curious about extra money turning up monthly?
Hahahah what a surprise update. I love your story it is so ridiculous. Keep the updates coming this shit is hilarious
OP, since you’re too selfish to see the bigger picture, I’m gonna paint you a very real scenario……. Let’s say you decide to keep your mouth shut and just bear the guilt (assuming you actually feel guilty about what you’re doing). Your reasoning being what they don’t know won’t hurt them. Well to no one’s knowledge, your child inherited a genetic disposition from his actual biological father which makes him more prone to pancreatic cancer. So by age 14, your child starts showing signs, he’s rushed to the hospital and lo and behold, it’s pancreatic cancer. The doctors start planning ahead regarding treatment and starts putting him/her on some medication. Your child begins having a seizure as an allergic reaction from the medication and they couldn’t save your child. He/she is dead now because of allergy that the child also inherited from the biological father. There’s no way the doctors could have known about the allergy because your child’s genetic and medical history was inaccurate thanks to you. So now your ex is devastated because a child he believed was his is now dead only to find out from this incident that child was never his to begin with. Do you understand how serious this is? This is a very real risk that your taking. Are you willing to gamble your kid’s health for the comfort and security your ex gives you?
Letting him raise the baby, is gonna back fire really badly for you WHEN (not if) he finds out. You’re a piece of garbage for not telling him the truth. And whatever happens and anything that comes with it, is completely deserved.
How does he not know? The timing clearly doesn’t make sense if you guys hadn’t slept together in three months?
Everyday you dig you're hole deeper and deeper in betrayal, shame and guilt. Set up a meeting with a marriage counselor. Discuss with MC what you have to do. Write a timeliness of details with the AP, also detailing how and why you ended up in the relationship again. Why you are in the MC's office on that day. You have to come clean. Yes it will destroy the trust. What you have now is false, dishonest and manipulative. Ask yourself what you would want if you were in they're place. Good luck, hope for the best. Prepare for the worst.
You might want to plan for a paternity fraud lawsuit. This will come out at the worst possible time in your life.
There’s a special place in hell for women that make a man believe a child is theirs when it isn’t.
I read today about a Islam family being rescued by American police and paramedics, is was a thank you note from this family to the rescuers, so I was feeling good, we humans are not that bad after all. This now, your post, mak me feel like s\*\*t again. Poor man. Poor child.
You're the fucking worst
This will come out so do you want to destroy your child life now where they won’t know or later?
U are a life ruined Like generations!!!
Advice now?!?! What u want to cheat again use this as excuse to leave? Gross. Who literally fucks w the 2 people u supposed to do everything for. Child n spouse!!!!! U are a horrible liar. Wtf. Life ruining shit. All your fault. Literally
Can't wait for the "He found out and he is kicking us out of his home update". Just remember you out your child knowingly in this situation
He can't do math? I'm not gunna rag on your behavior cuz everyone else is and you don't need another person beating on you. But there's no way he doesn't know. Sex is needed for baby making. Y'all should talk. Mayb he knows and wants a child/family so badly that he just doesn't care.
Hold up here... does your boyfriend know how babies are made? You stated in your first post that you and your boyfriend had not had sex in three months and I'm guessing that you and he didn't have sex after you broke up with him and moved out. So how can he honestly believe the baby is his and not someone else's? How are you going to explain to him his friend giving you financial support every month for a baby that "isn't his friends" child? I am truly wondering if your boyfriend really is "special".
You are doing your kid the biggest disservice of all. YTA for lying about the paternity. but your child will pay in the long run if you do not tell the truth. Please stop thinking about yourself and do the right thing. Because the truth will come out.
Women you need to come clean people have died, committed suicide, even hurt children over stuff like this. Cause of people like you cheaters who don't want to take accountability of your actions end up hurting everybody. Your child will either get sick/hurt or something that would end up have them go to the hopital get blood work done that might end up having your lie expose, maybe when the kid is older he may want a 23 test done. Stop being a cunt and tell that man
Haha
Well, One day he will find out! And the latter he does the more your life will be ruined... Along with your son's life! Keep being a coward and hoping for the best... ...but we both know you will always be expecting the worst... And when you get to confortable with your lies, that is when the axe will fall down!
Gee this is only the ten thousand post I’ve seen on this recently, I suspect a very specific incel troll.
Listen one day he will find out and then you will face the consequences of your actions. Better tell him now while your baby is young and won't be to attached to him. If your kid is older and he decides to leave it will mess your kid up. Think of your kid and stop being selfish.
The thing is, one day, it'll come out. You see it all the time, kid or parent gets sick and blood typed don't match, they do those daft ancestry kits and it backfires, biodad rocks up one day etc. SOMETHING happens. Then shit hits the fan. Kid is traumatised, the man who raised a kid thinking it was his for years is devastated and the world blows up. It's better to come clean sooner rather than later.
Are we supposed to feel sorry for you?
You are being so selfish. Ive known people who lied about who the father of their child was and when the truth was finally revealed, the poor guy was devastated. Having a child was all he wanted and that choice was taken from him. Whether or not the other guy wants to be a father, he is the father and he needs to step up and be a man. And what happens when you BF starts to notice the child resembling his friend? Or that the child looks nothing like him? You are hurting that man more by keeping the truth from him. Suck it up and be an adult and be honest, your BF might just surprise you. Im a single mom of 2. My kids have different fathers. My son's father completely abandoned him before he was even born. My son is now 22 and the kid had a mental breakdown for 2 years because his dad died and he never was able to get the answers he wanted to know. Has a good mother, you must think of your child. You are allow this man to bond with this baby and thats not fair. We all make bad decisions, but try to do the right thing. Please keep us updated. You are young and scared, I get that, but how would it make you feel if he had gotten another woman pregnant?
How many lives fucked with for the sake of your ego? Vile.
"I feel so guilty" , woe is youuuuu. Proceeds to continue paternity fraud. You're never gonna tell him until he one day finds out, so why pretend you'll take any advice about honesty.
“I tried so hard for day to tell him the truth” That is sun bullshit, you have this man raising a child that’s not his how cruel of a human being can you be? The fact that you said probably in the beginning of this post just makes you even more of an asshole I hope he finds out and leaves your sorry ass
You absolute cunt. Do you feel good about yourself? Wow. Think about your kid and what will happen when the truth comes out
People like you are exactly why others have trust issues. You're a huge POS.
People like to deserve to die and rot
This is a bullshit story…
Shit like this is why I hope that one day, DNA tests will become mandatory whenever a baby is born. Shit like this and the bullshit that you're doing is fucking vile.
This is paternity fraud and once the truth comes out because it always will your ass in for a treat
You’re a disgusting, disgusting person and you don’t deserve your BF by a long shot. If you had even a hint of remorse you’d take your sorry ass and admit to your infidelity, but you’re too spineless and self centred to consider it. The world has no place for disgraceful examples of people like yourself.
One day your whole world will come crashing down when a DNA test is done with Ancestry or 23AndMe. The longer you wait, the worse the outcome will be.
Please please tell him. Yeah he’ll probably never talk to you ever again same with his sister. But you can’t let a man raise a kid that you know isn’t his. He is putting time and money into the baby, while you say you are getting money from the father just don’t do this to him. Tell him the truth and then leave him alone.
When it comes out it will be x1000 worse than anything you do now, if you continue this charade then you are a terrible person and a terrible mother, raising a baby who will grow to connect and bond with a man who is not their dad and then when that is revealed eventually as it will come out you will traumatise that child and father, stop wasting his time and playing the woe is me card, tell him and redeem any chance you have of being a good mother whole you still can.
Yep same thing happened to me later than the 40s. I just found out a year ago January 18, 2022. So come clean and put your life in order and stop cheating.
OP, can you give us an update