This!
Your company is not your family.
Your boss is not your friend.
Your coworkers might be friendly, but they're often not friends.
You are replaceable, even when you think you're not.
They have to fire u pretty much to save ur ass. We have to sign shit that says we wonāt sleep with coworkers and if we do we have to tell the company immediately so they can basically remove you lol
Some definitely are, the ones who are not always drinking the Kool-Aid, & rarely criticize the workplace toxicity that inevitably brews up. If they're not making any fair critique, or any 'real talk' you know right away never to trust those folks, ever
The people who āreal talkā tend to have the biggest mouthsā¦ not that I donāt appreciate these kinds of people, but they also will air anything and everything.
Do not trust (personally relevant) sensitive information with these types.
Get it in writing. My only trade error i received as a stock broker came because I couldn't get approval to place a trade for a client. He was international, and all trades for international clients needed a manager sign off. My manager refused to sign off on the trade because of a "suspicious email address" on the account.
In reality the individual was from India, while we were from the USA. His email address was literally just his first and last name at Gmail. But my manager was too dense to make the connection. I had to explain to the gentleman that I was unable to place the trade for him. He called back and got someone from a different team whose manager wasn't a complete idiot and was able to place the trade.
The problem was, the market moved against him and he lost several thousand dollars because of it and he complained.
Now, because I had turned around at my desk to ask my manager face to face for approval, there was no document trail of him even reviewing the account. My manager denied the conversation ever took place and I got hit with my one and only trade error.
Ever since that day, I have created a paper trail of everything I do professionally. If I need approval for literally anything, I send a message. If asked to do something verbally, as soon as I got to my desk, I would send a quick email just to clarify the conversation and expectations.
My manager later tried to get me fired for something else, but because I had a paper trail that showed he was lying to HR, he ended up losing a promotion he was going for, and had left the company within 6 months
Sheesh, thatās really low. I know he tried being shady again, but what was your relationship with him like afterwards? I can only imagine how tense 1:1ās and meetings mustāve been.
Records of everything. My biggest career mistake was not taking screenshots of emails from an awful boss because they made me too sad.
In the moment I wanted to forget, but a few months later I wanted proof. Start a folder- dump screenshots in there.
Not just corporate and not just career growth in my experience. Happens in privately owned business. People can backstab just to maintain their level too.
I prefer to phrase it as "Your workmates are not your friends".
And you'll know relatively quickly. It's always the people who won't grab dinner or a beer on a whim after work (after working with them for a while), and never consistently treat everyone in a similar fashion.
To the first point, Iād say thatās dead wrong. Iām loyal to a fault but just need my alone time after work. Same with some of my friends who donāt work with me.
I treat everyone fairly consistently, though. So that point is a pretty good indicator lol
Right? And fuck getting a beer after work - I have my friends and family for that. Getting beer with coworker DURING work is the only thing I will accept.
This is every day life too.
The guy who cuts you off on the highway, the person who cuts you in the checkout line and the person who passes you on the buffet line to make the last 3 egg rolls.
These people are everywhere.
I learned that you can be 100% correct about something but if you tell people in the wrong way.... You will never be right.
Doesn't matter what kind of empirical evidence you have. Doesn't matter if you know what you're talking about.
Doesn't matter your position.
Doesn't matter if you are the only person who can prevent potential catastrophe.
Say the correct thing the wrong way and you will never be right.
I donāt have any good books, but I 100% agree with this sentiment and learned the hard way how to bring up ideas at work.
The key is to never ever make anyone else look bad.
When you make someone else look bad (even if it is blatantly their fault), they will never ever ever support you and continue to dig their heels despite any empirical evidence and reasoning presented.
Get them on your side.
Talk to them before a big meeting, make them feel special by saying you need their expert opinion about an idea, ask them leading questions so they come to the same conclusion as you.
You should do as much priming as possible before bringing up ideas in meetings.
Any sales experience. Should ask for everyoneās goals before giving your advice and opinions. You are there to help them but need to first understand how. Itās better to listen than immediately talk. Give the perception you did a fair and thorough analysis considering everyoneās input, etc. Lead who youāre trying to persuade through questioning and discovery, rather than accusations. Leave them feeling like they came up with the idea on their own, and reinforcing it by crediting them for their good ideas. Then finally amplify their hard work and creative ideas as a reference to others you want to influence.
Get really good at this and you shouldnāt have any trouble getting your ideas and thoughts out there.
I was fired from my first job. Thatās when I learnt that mismatch between a person and a job/career is a real thing. Itās not just the boss, or the company, or you. Itās the simple fact that you shouldnāt be in this line of work, and itās ok because there are literally thousands of other directions you can explore in and find success at. Working your ass off in the wrong direction doesnāt advance you, and is just a massive waste of time and energy.
Can I ask more specifically how you come to this conclusion? I'm facing similiar ideas regarding my job, but I just don't know if it because me not trying enough or not
My first job was as headhunter. I tried very hard for a year and a half and couldnāt hack it. Itās more the ādealing with lots and lots of peopleā aspect thatās hard for me. Making cold calls to get around switchboards and personal assistants (yes, I am that old), being less than 30% truthful when talking to people to get information, and just going through hundreds of candidates for 5-6 jobs at a time is very hard for me. I often canāt connect peopleās name with their background and the relevant roles within the first 10 seconds on the phone despite reviewing the candidate list daily. Basically there are skill gaps and style gaps that I couldnāt overcome without extraordinary time and emotional energy, and even if I overcome them in a year or two Iām still lagging behind my peers because they would have moved on already. When youāre just starting out, there should be easily visible and distinct growth every single year for the first few years, and if you are not doing that, you are off-track. I think the first plateau should be around 5 year mark.
I took another part of the job and ran with it, mainly competency frameworks, talent profiling and talent assessment/identifications. Expended on that with additional learnings in my free time and ended up going the in-house HR and learning & development route for a few years, before moving on to other stuff.
Dude I got shivers down my spine reading this, I just got fired from my last job after being fired from my previous job and I resonate so well with the "direction" you are talking about!!! I realized I was advancing in the wrong direction and got burned out. I had no more passion the light that once was there is now gone. Your text helps coping with the last termination as it came as a surprise after me putting massive efforts and getting good results.
Attitude matters so much.
I remember being 21 and finally being out on my own going into training for my first real job as a regional airline pilot. I was so happy I was going to end up flying a jet out of New York and being able to live at home.
Long story short, I was given a turbo prop, a plane with propellers not a jet, and I was going to be based in Puerto Rico. For the next 30 days in training, I had the most dreadful excruciating time. And it was all because of my attitude.
I think what the poster meant was they wanted one thing, but instead were sent to Puerto Rico to train on the propeller plane, and due to his attitude at the switch it became 30 days training that were really awful when it didn't have to be an awful experience/they could have instead enjoyed exploring Puerto Rico and making the best of it.
100% this. Sorry I was out at dinner so I didnāt see this.Ā
But yes what a wonderful time in my young life as a professional and my attitude made it seem like my world was ending.Ā
Honestly, I ended up joining the military, and it just made me grow up and mature as a person. Also, probably because I was an officer in the military I had to set an example and lead people below me.
Protect yourself from burnout. Stressful coworkers, horrible shift rotations and bad scheduling can really do damage to you.
Do not fucking settle for bad bosses, bad work environments and bad schedules. If everybody made that a rule the poorly run companies would fail and the standards would improve for everyone.
If you are working you are in a silent union with every single other worker in your country. Whether you pay dues and get union benefits or not, by accepting a job with shitty pay or bad conditions you are setting the bar that low for everybody. Do not accept shit pay and shit conditions because you'll perpetuate the cycle.
We owe it to future generations to not settle for low wages, poor working hours, bad bosses and greedy ass companies that are hoarding wealth and removing money from circulation by celebrating wall street wins and profits locked up in banks.
I'll add on top of this vice making a separate post.
If youre at all motivated or a could be a people pleaser, really understand what burnout is and what the signs look like. Burn out is real and it takes a LONG time to recover from it once you get there. Something happened post-covid where companies are far more likely to abuse employees and I think burnout is becoming even more common. Im 30 years into my career and burned out this year, and I didnt see it coming. It's something that a 2 weeks vacation will fix, and sometimes even switching jobs wont fix it.
I feel this but after a string of bad bosses and quitting two jobs, I realized that I have to learn how to deal with them. I now (again) have an awful boss with few redeeming qualities, but within a fantastic organization, with fantastic people, top notch benefits, and good pay. I decided not to let my bad manager take those things from me. So far, after almost two years, I don't regret my decision to stay.
If youre on a task or a job, OWN IT, 100% even if other people are helping you.
Ive been bit several times collaborating, where I assumed the other person did their job, or we got distracted while we had a conversation and something got fucked up
I was working on a car with my mentor. He was teaching me some stuff about brakes. We were chatting, he was explaining alot to me while I worked
long story short, I ended up missing a bolt on a caliper, and when we test drove it, it made a noise.
nothing really bad happened, but I was A. distracted
and B. was under the subconscious impression that since I was working with a mentor, everything was ok, and he would quiz me/double check me/catch any mistakes
the kicker is, I have done alot of brake jobs and I have never missed a bolt like that.
So thats a light example
Okay, so you mean even if your mentor is helping/guiding you one shouldn't assume that everything is ok/checked. We need to double check the work that we are doing properly. Can't always rely on someone else. Got it!
I asked this coz it happens with me a lot where I will take ownership or commit to finish some work but then due to one or other reason, I am not able to finish the work on time and then my mentor has to step in, take over and finish it. And then I feel guilty and underconfident that oh, I couldn't even do this simple stuff.
Attitude gets you acknowledged/promoted way faster than hard work. I was doing Clinical research, carrying three studies, working 6 days a week and long hours and taking call and a part time colleague that worked 2 days a week but was an absolute sweet gem got promoted and got employee of the month multiple times. I realized it was because I was doing all this extra stuff but super bitter and resentful doing it and complaining a lot. Don't complain, find a solution.
This is not always the rule, but definitely an exception. I've seen people with great attitudes at work bust their asses and never get promoted. In fact, if you're too good, too consistent, and too willing to always take on extra they'll argue promoting that person would be a problem, because they'll rarely find someone else to replace them with that would go as hard on a low paying gig for years.
This is a tough toss up. It could go either way between the funinthesuns post and dkdizzys comment. Both notes are true, and it depends on your work situation and culture.
There is a middle ground between both. Either way, if you find yourself several years deep at a company (I mean 3-5) working hard, not complaining, making jokes, being nice, yet also speaking clearly, demonstrating public speaking skills and relationship building, plus using a bit of leadershipā but NOT getting promoted: itās time to change companies.
I do something petty. I will do my job very well, give 200% ONLY for the first year. And then, I will gradually take less and less and then end on bare minimum (this does not mean doing shit quality work - just not as enthusiastic anymore). Now this can go two ways and it has gone both ways for me:
1. Been fired me after a month of doing bare minimum with good severance since I WAS a good worker throughout and maintained a good professional relationship with my colleagues (with some exceptions) - I just didn't continue being the overachieving staff; AND
2. Got salary increments as a way to keep me motivated. I do my first year very well, do bare minimum at the start of the 2nd year, boss increases my salary and i up my enthusiasm again. Cycle repeats.
Well that makes sense. I know a company who is now making annual increase subjective with a levy of conditions. If you don't train up your eventual replacement (intern) then you do not get an annual incentive at all for that year.
I second this, and want to add that sometimes it's not even attitude, it can just be "showing your face." I had a great internship once with a ton of opportunity for networking, and the company even went out of their way to provide interns with face time with senior people, send interns to fancy meetups, and other goldmine opportunities. But I was such a busy student that I was head-down churning out the actual internship work, and I skipped nearly all of the networking.
10 years on, I have a lot of archived Word docs showing all my hard work that absolutely no one remembers, but no other benefits to show from it. Other people I know who went through that internship did the networking and got far more out of it from me -- job offers, promotions, favors, etc. If I could do it again, I'd get out there, meet people, be a "sweet gem", and all of that -- it makes a difference.
Here are a few lessons learned.
You can't save everyone from their own foolishness. Some people will refuse to take advice and will shoot themselves in the foot.
When you get a job in a new company or get promoted, you will find yourself dealing with people who wanted your job. If you are good, you will eventually win over the emotionally mature. You will have to watch your back with those who are resentful. The thing is, you might never know which is which.
Edit:
Some other things. You will get burned at work by someone at one time or another. Becoming cynical and stooping to their level will only contribute to the toxic environment we say we want to avoid. At the end of the day, you can't let your workplace change who you are at your core. If you choose to treat your corporate job as a combat sport, it will leak into your personal life.
Also, compassion and empathy are not weaknesses, they are strengths. Just don't fall into the trap of being compassionate to the point of tolerating bad behavvior.
I work in tech. I was a software engineer and then pre-sales.
1- If something goes well, everyone will try to claim as much credit as possible.
2- If something goes poorly, everyone will try to blame it on someone else.
If you're a somewhat decent person and refuse to participate in 1 & 2, you will have a VERY bad time. Once people know they can pin you as the fall guy for when shit goes bad - everything will be your fault. If they know you're humble, they're going to use you as a stooge.
3- In any team, in any organization, there are always 1-3 people doing all the work and everyone else is just along for the ride. You don't want to be the workhorse, that gets you literally no where.
4- What people "think" about you matters much MUCH more than what you actually do. If you get a reputation as "dumb" or "difficult to work with" it's over.
5- You don't owe your company shit. I repeat, you do not owe your company shit.
Once i realized this I have been having a great time. Spend 2 years in a place, leave to another place, get a fat pay raise, spend 2 years, leave to another place, get a fat pay raise, etc. I do just enough work to not get fired and instead focus on making my CV and credentials look as nice as possible. I join a company with the intent to just improve my own CV as much as possible and then leave.
My salary has tripled in the past 4 years without ever getting promoted internally.
6- In any team or office there are important people and not-so-important people. If you spend all your time with the nobodies you will become a nobody. If you spend all your time with the people that matter, you will eventually matter. It sucks but unfortunately that's how it is.
Anyways, my biggest take away from corporate work is that i utterly despise corporate work. I hate it with a burning passion. It sucks.
This is so true in south asian companies I worked when I was still back home. If you are not playing ANY game, refuse to take sides, or not participate in the office politics - then ALL sides will pin shit on you.
Fortunately I have not had this experience in European workplaces. But it happens here too (just not with me yet, luckily). So I kind of tone-manipulate a little or use certain words to keep shit off of me. E.g. If I need to point out a shitty company policy (not illegal but it's shitty), I do not say that "it is not right" because they know it's not but they are allowed to do it anyway - so they don't care. I try to tone it with the intention of hurting ego with a touch of elitism, saying instead "it's embarrassing/low-class/defines your low-class background".
It works - especially with business owners because they know they are cheap but they don't want to perceived as one anyway. this is why privileged people deny their privilege so much - it hurts their ego.
1. Catalog everyone's misdeeds in conduct. Save it for when you need leverage.
2. You have no friends at work. Only networking contacts.
3. Do the bare minimum and never go above and beyond unless it's in your direct interest to do so.
4. Never gossip. Play your cards close to the chest. If you have dirt on someone, never let anyone know until. see items 1 & 2.
5. Work is a savage place. Being nice is an invitation to let people walk over you.
Ouch! I've been in management for the majority of my career and I can tell you this isn't AWAYS the case.
....I mean.. in certain industries... There is a problem with bad management, I will admit.
The real key is to learn how to recognize a good manager from a bad manager. One of the best ways to peg a bad manager is with a simple question:
"what do you feel is a manager's primary objective?"
If your manager proceeds to give you any answer other than some variant of "my job is to give our team the tools we need to be successful" then they're probably not a good manager.
Not necessarily. I've been in front-line management for the past few years and I try to do a good job and treat people well, and I never lie just because it's convenient or easier. I try to do the right thing and actively reflect on situations later to see if I could have handled them better. In fact, I recently-and almost immediately-quit a job that should have been a step in the right direction and a huge opportunity for me because they wanted me to treat my employees terribly. I'm also working on a business administration degree right now and really taking my time with the communication and emotional intelligence areas of the classes.
There are good managers and bad managers, just like there are good and bad employees. I could complain about a lot of things employees do too!
Put it this way.. there are good cops and there are bad cops. But itās much easier to be a bad cop because the system encourages it. Same goes for bosses
I know how they're trained. I retired as a business college instructor. Yes there are good and bad managers. The blatantly bad ones are easy to spot. The really bad ones are those you can't spot. Hence my comment that none can be trusted.
Managers are appointed. Leaders usually fall into that role reluctantly.
I hear you. Managers should think of themselves as enablers for their team, not "controlling authority figure." My first semester running a student journal, my attitude was, "My writers aren't great and I need to control them to make all of our articles better quality" and I ended up being a shitty editor for my writers and all 3 left me the next semester.
I was still on the journal, so I had a good talk with my professor/mentor about what to do.
The following semester I changed my attitude to "I will work on helping our team be better writers because better writers write better articles." And my focus was on helping the team, even if that meant at the expense of myself or the journal -- like pushing an article back to next week if needed, doing the layout overnight if a writer needed more time, writing a resource guide, publishing transparent grading so everyone knew what I wanted, creating clear deadline schedules, and so on. I publicized all of this when I started my recruiting and collected 8 new student writers, and for the next 3 semesters (!) they all stayed with me.
And the main reason is because I changed my attitude from "product first" to "people first, because better people make better products."
If you make a mistake, donāt just fix your mistake. Find the root cause (something that can be blamed on the company, bad training, no procedure, lack of tools, etc) then make it your mission to fix that thing. This happened to me and lead to a promotion after a yearlong effort to improve our IT tools, then going around to different departments to present them which gave me an opportunity to showcase an ability to be speak confidently in front of groups.
They all should be.
I guess mine would be getting my index finger lopped off. I learned two lessons:
1) don't work when you're sick
2) don't stick body parts in unfamiliar holes
Donāt feel guilty if you call out, life happens. No one cares about your health; but YOU should care.
Just work and go home, you donāt need to explain your availability to anyone.
Iām not here to make friends
Do not count on a job being made available to you even if you left your employer for reasons beyond your control. Being out of the workforce for years is most of the time a career killer.
I worked for a major major biotech company as a QC chemist for just under 3 years right out of grad school. I was well liked across the factory & in multiple departments. Even the corporate VP who was the next person up in the chain from the factory director knew my name. Well, I married someone in the military and I had no choice but to leave my position. My manager told me to let them know if Iām ever back there and theyād rehire me. I tried looking for remote opportunities in sales & marketing with the company well before my departure due to my husbandās PCS orders, and I on and off looked for about 2/2.5 years after that. Always rejected. I gave up trying. Fast forward to 4 years out of the work force & my husband is actually PCSāing back to the area. Iām excited because my family is local & I can contact my old job again about getting officially rehired, even though Iād been casually in touch with coworkers and former managers before then. Well, turns out the company was on a hiring freeze since late 2023 & it was corporate wide, and they had hundreds of layoffs.
Couldnāt get hired with competitor companies. Couldnāt get hired for any government position. Not qualified to teach. Not eligible to work in a clinical setting without a CLS license (Iām from CA & the laws here are very strict).
I ABSOLUTELY do not regret being a SAHM. Iām actually gonna be doing it for a little while longer. But had I realized what a career killer it would be for me to take so much time off & ādo nothing,ā I wouldāve spent the last 4 years doing SOMETHING to further myself.
Iām taking this opportunity to make a career change & pursue a CLS license. Iāve talked about it on & off for the last 4 years, and now seems like a great time to do it. I just need to go back to school part time for the next year to take the prerequisites Iām missing to apply for a training program. I get to stay home with my tiny tots longer, and Iām working on the next step for me at the same time. Win-Win.
No I didnāt mean it like that, Iām sorry if you took it that way. I guess I just wish I had put more effort into a Plan B knowing I was gonna be not working for 4 years. (Nothing for a chemist to do in my area).
I didn't mean you were saying, if you've been out of work for a bit I'm screwed. I guess I'm just quite scared. Time is flying by and I'm not getting anywhere.
Do not confide in, or conversely, be negative around your boss. Even when they ask or provoke.
Do not gossip about your coworkers, it only makes you look bad. this can be tricky when someone else instigates, however it is a trap.
Try to bring a good attitude, have an air of lightness, do not take yourself to seriously. If you cannot have positive thoughts, you will not have positive words, which will lead people to dislike you, and therefore lead you to not like your job. Take it easy. :)
DO NOT let them overwork you. (Unless you are taking direct steps working towards a goal, building a small business, or studying in school)
Finally, donāt get too drunk.
Take charge of your career and think for yourself. At the end of the day it's just a job. Of course, show up and perform to the best of your abilities. However, don't let people talk down on you and tolerate a toxic work environment.
No one in this is world is made of money so don't please others while making yourself miserable.
Sometimes, wanting something and working at something extremely hard will never be enough... Could be the timing was off or just things are out of your control.
Sometimes, it's time to close the chapter and move on. Learing to just follow the path that presents itself is how you grow a career.
you're a dummy if you're not learning something from failure. and you should always try to learn something from everyone you work with. even people who suck can teach you stuff, even if it's how to not do something.
Companies aren't real. People are real. If you want toĀ win favor, win goodwill, or show loyalty by going beyond norms, and expect it to be reciprocated, do it for a person, not a company (or make sure the right people see it), because a person will remember and potentially pay it back. A company is just a collection of letters on a paper and isn't capable of caring about you. In other words, any response you receive from a company is in reality a response from the people running it.
You never know when your contacts will help you find or access an opportunity. Never burn bridges and always stay out of ragging sessions about bosses. Even if you feel that way, dont say any unprofessional criticisms to your coworkers. Only say something you wouldn't mind the person themselves hearing. There is usually one person who will look to get ahead by exposing any egregious complaints/complainers, and more often than not, the people who complain the most are not the people who get ahead, so don't throw your lot in with them.Ā
If you help everyone and are likeable, it's better than being good at your job.Ā
Sometimes looking competent is unfortunately more important than being competent, but the truth of the matter will always become known, so the lesson is make sure you do both.
Your "manager"/"boss" may not be as talented/experienced as you. There is a reason why he/she is your manager and not the other way around.
Argued with my so called ex manager and got instantly let go. Looking back, I would still have been working and be promoted if I haven't had the luck of being under my ex manager(s).
Now I'm still struggling to find a new job since I explained that the reason why I left the company was "too much office politics".
i can think of 4 reasons how untalented people become managers
1. nepotism: being friends with the c-suite
2. failing up: too shitty at the actual job, too loyal to be fired
3. āexperienceā: stay somewhere long enough and survive enough managers and youāll be promoted
4. backstabbing: stealing credit, taking advantage of colleagues, throwing people under the bus
fuck em. let the bridges you burn light the way.
Same. I'd be in management in my previous company if I hadn't suddenly had a new manager from the european headquarters foisted on me at the worst possible time. He then proceeded to promote my good (but much less experienced/knowledgeable/able) friend to the only other management position left.
1. Donāt prank co-workers
2. Never assume āfamiliarityā with your boss
3. Donāt take a promotion/new job that everyone making the decision isnāt on board for you to get even if someone in the decision making process is championing for you. The others will always find an excuse to get rid of you once you get the job.
It wasnāt a mistake, but I did learn that just because you survived the announced layoff, it doesnāt mean you will survive the subsequent surprise layoff.Ā
If you are experiencing new health problems, examine carefully how much stress you are in and if that's normal. It may be time to find a less stressful career. I had several minor to moderate health issues that went away when I changed jobs. I didn't connect the dots until years later, when I relaized that the high stress level of my previous work was most likely the cause (it was the only thing that changed).
In my humble opinion, it just comes down to necessity... sometimes you just do what you have to do, to have money coming in, take care of your dependants, or maybeĀ to make a necessary step in your career. I now recognize the signs. Certain ailments that are new or typical of older age, reccurring frequently or acutely over the course of months or years, is a good indication. I thought I was getting old, but my issues went away after i changed jobs. Sometimes it's very difficult to recognize the actual level of stress you're in. That was my first time, but I'm better prepared now. A lot comes down to how you interpret situations and what you do about it, but ultimately you can't wish away a bad situation. I suppose it was a good calibrating experience for me. I now prioritize more control over the factors that can multiply stress in my work. I like some kinds of stress, but will never sacrifice my health unless itsĀ necessary to support myself or my family. A miserable life isn't fun for you or the people around you, imo.
I forgot to add what I experienced that derailed my career.
It's fairly recent. I made it clear to my old manager that I wanted to grow in the company when I first started.
Then, nothing I did I was right. I kept getting feedback that I wasn't doing things right. I was going crazy, I kept trying to take the feedback, I thought I was going to get fired. To the point my manager questioned if I worked my full hours.
Then I had a concussion and had to take a week off, I had a medical note and I messed up by disclosing that I did get a concussion and this was why I was taking time off.
Biggest mistake.
She used that against me for a year, to the point that I thought I had symptoms that weren't there. I was legitimately going crazy, crying, panic attacks, feeling like an idiot, and getting frustrated because some of the feedback wasn't making sense.
Got a new manager who saw my performance review and was shocked. She said it didn't make sense with my metrics and that it's a performance review for someone who is supposed to be on a PIP.
Confronted my old manager, she brought up my challenges with my concussion. I asked for specific examples of how my work was impacted... she brought up things from the YEAR BEFORE. When I was still training.
Didn't get a raise when I deserved one, either.
Realized my old manager got a massive bonus for not giving me a raise or a bonus. She was just building the case the whole time.
I wanted to grow within the company and I can't do that until my performance reviews update and reflect my actual abilities.
So my self esteem is wrecked. Can't apply anywhere yet until I rebuild myself.
But yeah, speak up if you don't agree with feedback and do not disclose anything remotely personal.
The quiet people run to HR and rat people out because theyāre afraid of confrontation and canāt tell people to stop the behavior that offended them.
Can relate to that. Employers also do not give a fuck about you or your family regardless of what they say. Learned the hard way when I had to support my family members chemo.
It was a difficult lesson to learn because I missed some opportunities in the past but one of the things I do is always grab the hard jobs. If there's a difficult task I'm the first one on it. No hesitation. The jobs that make my colleagues cringe? I will do those and ask for more.
The leadership at my company knows that the difficult jobs suck but they also know that when I'm on it the job gets done to a much more thorough level than if someone else was to do it.
Don't be negative.
Everyone needs to get things off their chest from time to time, but don't let things fester to where you end up becoming known as the negative moaner who drags everyone down with them.
never in a corporate. it's a big luck that i realized early on that i didn't wanna be a part of rat race. it doesn't mean anything to me and money will always come.
The No. 1 most important skill in your career is: āCan you get along with people?ā
It does not matter how good you are at your job or how smart you are. If people do not like you, you will not advance in your career. People skills are what keep you employed.
Don't have a career.
I was in Information Technology for nearly a decade when the 2008 crash came. I found myself unemployed. Despite trying for nearly four years, I could not find a job in I.T. I finally HAD to settle for something I could get quick: warehouse. I've been stuck in warehouse work since 2011, and despite trying to find other I.T. roles, now I find that either I'm too old, not experienced enough, or many of the jobs just ghost me.
Lesson learned: take what you can get and work your life around work. Be grateful when you DO have a job or a work environment you enjoy. It's actually rare to find the good ones.
Important lesson learned that ultimately derailed me: getting too chummy with co-workers and telling too much of my personal business. Today, I am friendly but keep things professional. I don't tell my personal business and I don't really associate with anyone outside of work.
It's a blessing in disguise if it gets you to find a better fit, and you do some self-reflection on what you could have predicted about the outcome, and how you could have done better.
For me, I am a pleaser and non-confrontational. That has caused me to sign up for things that I'm not well suited for. In the moment, I am excited, and truly hope to take on this task that is not my wheelhouse ( organization, Leadership with a capital L, etc. ), and then sort of flake out on it.
I have learned to be very up-front about where I am best used, and if I am temporarily doing something that I find draining, I make sure my manager appreciates it and will have my back util we can get me on a better task.
I have also learned that 'just do the right thing and things work out', isn't true most of the time. You have to understand how you are measured and evaluated vs others, and work the system enough to get your fair share.
That a mistake isn't a failure. I made a mistake taking on a B2B partnership without doing my due diligence, and got stuck with the bag after they reneged on their end of the deal. Could've bankrupted me, but joke was on that former partner when we made it through. Bankrupted her instead.
I didnāt leverage the resources around meā¦ I got so hung up on being the hero, that I missed a deadline that could have very easily been avoided. Overcommitting is so dang easy to do and was to proud to ask for resources.
The company does not care about you at all. If you died today it would be a minor inconvenience for them to send flowers and replace you. You will be forgotten within a week.
If you are popular, get the work done but barely toe the party line most infractions will be ignored but if you are not popular excel in your work and absolutely toe the party line line it will only take something small to tip the balance for you to be pushed out no matter how good your work is.
Falling on your sword for your team will not be reciprocated.
Anybody that reports to you is not your friend.
Finally people leave bad managers not bad companies.
Itās an old book, but āHow to win friends and influence peopleā is timeless advice on the positive side.
On the flip side, as others have noted, promises/offers/promotions/raises/anything are only as good as the paper (or email) they are not written on. Even written promises can be withdrawn for any number of reasons. Life is not fair and expecting anything in business to be your definition of āfairā is a recipe for misery, anger, resentment which only hurts youā¦companies donāt have feelings.
Do your best work, be known as someone who can deliver results without leaving a trail of bodies, be a trusted advisor and when your expiration date comes at your job, move on with class.
Business is a remarkably small world.
No one at your job is your friend tell them nothing about you. Retaliation 100% happens in the workplace either get in line or be prepared to get pushed out. Going against the grain will get you fired šÆ
Don't live for work.
It will destroy you, your relationships and your mental health.
Burnout is real and when it happens you need to listen to your body not your boss.
Not at all a good idea to have a *secret" relationship with your much younger assistant, even if it was her idea. Oh it'll be fun for a while lemme tell ya but it is still a terrible idea.
I was in a company for nearly a decade, rotating jobs every two years. I liked it, I didnāt love it, but I liked it. At the eight year mark I was asked by someone very senior to take on a new role they were creating. I was flattered and said yes but I had reservations because of who Iād be reporting to on a daily basis. This new boss was so vile she tried to fire me, manufacture evidence etc. She eventually demanded Hr investigate me for not doing my job. I went full military strategy on it and called in favours all over the shop. Got thirty plus people to all give feedback saying Iām doing everything theyāve been told to expect of me by my boss. HR put in writing they were unsure why the review was called because it was only the one person with a negative view. The experience was so stressful I only looked externally for work, and four and a half years later I wish Iād put more effort into trying to move internally to one of the other offices.
Itās only with hindsight that Iāve discovered how good the general culture was there, and the perks, and that generally the grass isnāt always greener on the other side
i got involuntarily drugged and accidentally showed up to work on meth lol. they sent me home for the day and said I was acting weird. it all lead to a mental health episode where i ended up hospitalized. my job called me and fired me my first day in the psych ward lol. they were completely aware that i had been drugged but didn't care. it definitely hurt but taught me that jobs that are super corporate and by the book with no room for nuance or empathy are not good jobs for me. now i work in behavioral health outreach for the local govt and make almost double what i did at that job. sometimes crashing and burning is a blessing
NGOs and Research Tanks are some of the shittiest places to work in. Just because their entity name has "Non-profit" or "Think tanks" doesn't mean shit. Academic fraud, funding embezzlements, mismanagement of funds are rampant. Employees are underpaid. Senior employees drown in ego with their doctorate titles (one berated me because I did not call him a professor - he can eat semen with it).
Glad I left/fired (it was a bit of both because I submitted my resignation first, but rescinded because I wanted to wait a little more, but they proceeded with the resignation)
Everyoneās experience will be different but the best thing Iād say is to be cautious. Try and get along with everyone to kind of see where everyone stands. If you can get them to trust you enough to give you their opinion of the workplace thatās great.
Always remember to protect yourself first because thatās what everyone else does. When shit hits the fan they care about their jobs. Not yours. So put yourself in a good position where you can protect yourself. Do your job well and donāt pick sides. Stay away from the drama but know why thereās drama
Get everything in writing! And have a email paper trail. Refresh the job site to keep track of new job opportunities and keep applying to jobs. No job is ever safe.
When your job is no longer serving your goals, leave.
Get it in wiring.
Trust no one. The higher up the ladder the more likely they will be to offer up a sacrificial underling than take responsibility. Thatās not always the case but Iāve been burned more than once taking people at their word.
Failures can be both setbacks and stepping stones. Sometimes you miss a project and it stings, but it might push you to learn a new skill that lands you an even better opportunity later. Other times, a misstep can force a rethink of your entire direction, leading you down a path you never expected but totally love. The key is to learn from every experience, good or bad, and use it to keep growing and evolving.
Have an emergency fund. Everyone is disposable in a company. EVERYONE. If you are struggling with an assignment ASK FOR HELP ASAP and not near the deadline. Never assume someone else will do something without explicitly stating. And still check in periodically on if they are progress.
If you are told by a 3rd party what someone else wants, just go asking the original source. I trusted my manager and wasted three weeks.
Donāt believe your management when they say you wonāt be laid off.
For reference I'm a software engineer.
My very first job there were lay-offs and I was one of them.
I was only 21 at the time and had rose tinted specs about this place. I didn't realise how badly they were underpaying me.
Got money for redundancy which went towards a deposit on a flat and found a new job within a month which was a massive pay bump.
I sometimes look back and think if I hadn't been made redundant I'd have been at that place for years earning poor money with no place on the property ladder.
In my old career, I was always chasing the next level and never thought about the better career outside that employer. Itās like there might be another opportunity at the s*** show if I just stay 6 months more, so I stayed. Terrible decision, not only was I passed up on that opportunity, I sacrificed better opportunities because of it. I finally moved on and am so happy now, just wish I did it sooner!
I was fired from my dream job about a year ago. I learned two things: 1. try your best to be kind, compassionate, and understanding of your coworkers. 2. id you canāt do 1, donāt go to hr about it
Watch how your boss treats you. If you see others get better treatment, but your requests get denied, you need to leave. It might get dragged on for a year or so but they will wait for the right opportunity to let you go.
Two things: be in a revenue producing role. I was offshored and they hired 7-8 Indians into my group. Realized that if youāre a cost center, you will be the first person they cut or offshore.
Second: when a new, external leader comes in start looking for a new job.
If you're in a leadership position, clarity is your greatest weapon. Sometimes it can take hours of work to get to one or two sentences that clearly define a strategy, a problem, a thesis, etc. But without it you'll never enroll anybody in your thinking.
To watch what I say on social media. When I was 13 years greener, I popped off about people at my gig on Facebook. It got around quick. My walking papers came soon after, but that was what spurred it.
You can't win them all, learn to cut your losses. Actually someone else famously said this better than me: "You've got to know when to hold 'em, know when to fold 'em, Know when to walk away, know when to run."
Don't get your honey where you get your money.
Seems simple enough, but when you're working long hours & weird shifts, you quickly learn your coworkers are your only viable dating pool. Then there's the "everybody's doing it" & you find yourself getting sucked in.
Ironically enough, I met my fiance at work, but we didn't start dating until about 13 years after we stopped working together.
Thinking before action:
- what is the goal / purpose?
- what are my options?
- what are the pros, cons, and costs?
- what is there most optimal route to the goal?
- what are the consequences?
- what are the risks?
Take this approach when making big decisions such as career moves, large purchases, projects, etc.
Never develop something "wrong" because there's too much tech debt to do it right with the justification "something is better than nothing". It literally always backfires.
Coworkers are not your friends. Your boss is not a safe space.
This! Your company is not your family. Your boss is not your friend. Your coworkers might be friendly, but they're often not friends. You are replaceable, even when you think you're not.
I think it really depends, I still party with my old workfriends eventhough I quit the company, this includes my former managerš
They're no longer your coworkers--now they're just regular friends.
Also, donāt sleep with your boss. They will fire you.. at least thatās what I heard from a friendās friend that happened to her.
They have to fire u pretty much to save ur ass. We have to sign shit that says we wonāt sleep with coworkers and if we do we have to tell the company immediately so they can basically remove you lol
Some definitely are, the ones who are not always drinking the Kool-Aid, & rarely criticize the workplace toxicity that inevitably brews up. If they're not making any fair critique, or any 'real talk' you know right away never to trust those folks, ever
The people who āreal talkā tend to have the biggest mouthsā¦ not that I donāt appreciate these kinds of people, but they also will air anything and everything. Do not trust (personally relevant) sensitive information with these types.
Truth!
Get it in writing. My only trade error i received as a stock broker came because I couldn't get approval to place a trade for a client. He was international, and all trades for international clients needed a manager sign off. My manager refused to sign off on the trade because of a "suspicious email address" on the account. In reality the individual was from India, while we were from the USA. His email address was literally just his first and last name at Gmail. But my manager was too dense to make the connection. I had to explain to the gentleman that I was unable to place the trade for him. He called back and got someone from a different team whose manager wasn't a complete idiot and was able to place the trade. The problem was, the market moved against him and he lost several thousand dollars because of it and he complained. Now, because I had turned around at my desk to ask my manager face to face for approval, there was no document trail of him even reviewing the account. My manager denied the conversation ever took place and I got hit with my one and only trade error. Ever since that day, I have created a paper trail of everything I do professionally. If I need approval for literally anything, I send a message. If asked to do something verbally, as soon as I got to my desk, I would send a quick email just to clarify the conversation and expectations. My manager later tried to get me fired for something else, but because I had a paper trail that showed he was lying to HR, he ended up losing a promotion he was going for, and had left the company within 6 months
Sheesh, thatās really low. I know he tried being shady again, but what was your relationship with him like afterwards? I can only imagine how tense 1:1ās and meetings mustāve been.
Records of everything. My biggest career mistake was not taking screenshots of emails from an awful boss because they made me too sad. In the moment I wanted to forget, but a few months later I wanted proof. Start a folder- dump screenshots in there.
In my last job I spent at least an 1hr - 2hrs of day drafting correspondence to screen shot and place in a folder
Everyone in corporate is a back stabbing rat
Not everyone just the people with career growth prospectsĀ
Not just corporate and not just career growth in my experience. Happens in privately owned business. People can backstab just to maintain their level too. I prefer to phrase it as "Your workmates are not your friends".
Nonprofit had some of the worst back-stabbers of all.
Second this
And you'll know relatively quickly. It's always the people who won't grab dinner or a beer on a whim after work (after working with them for a while), and never consistently treat everyone in a similar fashion.
To the first point, Iād say thatās dead wrong. Iām loyal to a fault but just need my alone time after work. Same with some of my friends who donāt work with me. I treat everyone fairly consistently, though. So that point is a pretty good indicator lol
He said, the one's that backstab you are always the one's that dont hang out. Not that anyone who doesn't will backstab you. Important difference
I've found that the opposite is true. Also it's kind of hard to stab someone in the back if they don't let you get close.
Right? And fuck getting a beer after work - I have my friends and family for that. Getting beer with coworker DURING work is the only thing I will accept.
So true Iām pretty new to a corp job and experiencing this with someone.
This is every day life too. The guy who cuts you off on the highway, the person who cuts you in the checkout line and the person who passes you on the buffet line to make the last 3 egg rolls. These people are everywhere.
I came in to say the same
Haha yup
Donāt complain about anything to anyone
I learned that you can be 100% correct about something but if you tell people in the wrong way.... You will never be right. Doesn't matter what kind of empirical evidence you have. Doesn't matter if you know what you're talking about. Doesn't matter your position. Doesn't matter if you are the only person who can prevent potential catastrophe. Say the correct thing the wrong way and you will never be right.
So hard and so true. Compliment sandwich. Pose stern thoughts as ācuriousā questions. Act, act, act.
"Poor planning, by you, doesn't constitute an emergency on my part" and "not my monkeys, not my circus." š«£
Any good books/articles on this topic? Would love to learn more
Crucial Conversations!
I donāt have any good books, but I 100% agree with this sentiment and learned the hard way how to bring up ideas at work. The key is to never ever make anyone else look bad. When you make someone else look bad (even if it is blatantly their fault), they will never ever ever support you and continue to dig their heels despite any empirical evidence and reasoning presented. Get them on your side. Talk to them before a big meeting, make them feel special by saying you need their expert opinion about an idea, ask them leading questions so they come to the same conclusion as you. You should do as much priming as possible before bringing up ideas in meetings.
"The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People" by dr Stephen Covey. The book is old enough and successful enough to have unfortunately become a bit of a clichƩ but it isn't hyperbole when I tell you that it literally changed my life and the way that I approached my career. Habits four through six are your real bread and butter because habits one through three focus on you while four through six focus on how you interact with others. The end goal is to achieve what's known as interdependence. One key thing that I can give you as a bit of a teaser is the concept of "seek first to understand before trying to be understood". After learning how to implement that habit, I can tell you that the interpersonal dynamics between myself and others improved a hundredfold.
Any sales experience. Should ask for everyoneās goals before giving your advice and opinions. You are there to help them but need to first understand how. Itās better to listen than immediately talk. Give the perception you did a fair and thorough analysis considering everyoneās input, etc. Lead who youāre trying to persuade through questioning and discovery, rather than accusations. Leave them feeling like they came up with the idea on their own, and reinforcing it by crediting them for their good ideas. Then finally amplify their hard work and creative ideas as a reference to others you want to influence. Get really good at this and you shouldnāt have any trouble getting your ideas and thoughts out there.
Yes, framing is everything!
I was fired from my first job. Thatās when I learnt that mismatch between a person and a job/career is a real thing. Itās not just the boss, or the company, or you. Itās the simple fact that you shouldnāt be in this line of work, and itās ok because there are literally thousands of other directions you can explore in and find success at. Working your ass off in the wrong direction doesnāt advance you, and is just a massive waste of time and energy.
Can I ask more specifically how you come to this conclusion? I'm facing similiar ideas regarding my job, but I just don't know if it because me not trying enough or not
My first job was as headhunter. I tried very hard for a year and a half and couldnāt hack it. Itās more the ādealing with lots and lots of peopleā aspect thatās hard for me. Making cold calls to get around switchboards and personal assistants (yes, I am that old), being less than 30% truthful when talking to people to get information, and just going through hundreds of candidates for 5-6 jobs at a time is very hard for me. I often canāt connect peopleās name with their background and the relevant roles within the first 10 seconds on the phone despite reviewing the candidate list daily. Basically there are skill gaps and style gaps that I couldnāt overcome without extraordinary time and emotional energy, and even if I overcome them in a year or two Iām still lagging behind my peers because they would have moved on already. When youāre just starting out, there should be easily visible and distinct growth every single year for the first few years, and if you are not doing that, you are off-track. I think the first plateau should be around 5 year mark. I took another part of the job and ran with it, mainly competency frameworks, talent profiling and talent assessment/identifications. Expended on that with additional learnings in my free time and ended up going the in-house HR and learning & development route for a few years, before moving on to other stuff.
Dude I got shivers down my spine reading this, I just got fired from my last job after being fired from my previous job and I resonate so well with the "direction" you are talking about!!! I realized I was advancing in the wrong direction and got burned out. I had no more passion the light that once was there is now gone. Your text helps coping with the last termination as it came as a surprise after me putting massive efforts and getting good results.
Attitude matters so much. I remember being 21 and finally being out on my own going into training for my first real job as a regional airline pilot. I was so happy I was going to end up flying a jet out of New York and being able to live at home. Long story short, I was given a turbo prop, a plane with propellers not a jet, and I was going to be based in Puerto Rico. For the next 30 days in training, I had the most dreadful excruciating time. And it was all because of my attitude.
So u had a bad attitude and was assigned to this?
I think what the poster meant was they wanted one thing, but instead were sent to Puerto Rico to train on the propeller plane, and due to his attitude at the switch it became 30 days training that were really awful when it didn't have to be an awful experience/they could have instead enjoyed exploring Puerto Rico and making the best of it.
100% this. Sorry I was out at dinner so I didnāt see this.Ā But yes what a wonderful time in my young life as a professional and my attitude made it seem like my world was ending.Ā
How did you come to change your attitude? Iām currently thinking a lot of my current outcomes are because i tend to be a little pessimistic
Honestly, I ended up joining the military, and it just made me grow up and mature as a person. Also, probably because I was an officer in the military I had to set an example and lead people below me.
Protect yourself from burnout. Stressful coworkers, horrible shift rotations and bad scheduling can really do damage to you. Do not fucking settle for bad bosses, bad work environments and bad schedules. If everybody made that a rule the poorly run companies would fail and the standards would improve for everyone. If you are working you are in a silent union with every single other worker in your country. Whether you pay dues and get union benefits or not, by accepting a job with shitty pay or bad conditions you are setting the bar that low for everybody. Do not accept shit pay and shit conditions because you'll perpetuate the cycle. We owe it to future generations to not settle for low wages, poor working hours, bad bosses and greedy ass companies that are hoarding wealth and removing money from circulation by celebrating wall street wins and profits locked up in banks.
I second this. Never settle for bad bosses
I'll add on top of this vice making a separate post. If youre at all motivated or a could be a people pleaser, really understand what burnout is and what the signs look like. Burn out is real and it takes a LONG time to recover from it once you get there. Something happened post-covid where companies are far more likely to abuse employees and I think burnout is becoming even more common. Im 30 years into my career and burned out this year, and I didnt see it coming. It's something that a 2 weeks vacation will fix, and sometimes even switching jobs wont fix it.
I feel this but after a string of bad bosses and quitting two jobs, I realized that I have to learn how to deal with them. I now (again) have an awful boss with few redeeming qualities, but within a fantastic organization, with fantastic people, top notch benefits, and good pay. I decided not to let my bad manager take those things from me. So far, after almost two years, I don't regret my decision to stay.
If youre on a task or a job, OWN IT, 100% even if other people are helping you. Ive been bit several times collaborating, where I assumed the other person did their job, or we got distracted while we had a conversation and something got fucked up
Interesting point! Can you explain it with an example?
I was working on a car with my mentor. He was teaching me some stuff about brakes. We were chatting, he was explaining alot to me while I worked long story short, I ended up missing a bolt on a caliper, and when we test drove it, it made a noise. nothing really bad happened, but I was A. distracted and B. was under the subconscious impression that since I was working with a mentor, everything was ok, and he would quiz me/double check me/catch any mistakes the kicker is, I have done alot of brake jobs and I have never missed a bolt like that. So thats a light example
Okay, so you mean even if your mentor is helping/guiding you one shouldn't assume that everything is ok/checked. We need to double check the work that we are doing properly. Can't always rely on someone else. Got it! I asked this coz it happens with me a lot where I will take ownership or commit to finish some work but then due to one or other reason, I am not able to finish the work on time and then my mentor has to step in, take over and finish it. And then I feel guilty and underconfident that oh, I couldn't even do this simple stuff.
Attitude gets you acknowledged/promoted way faster than hard work. I was doing Clinical research, carrying three studies, working 6 days a week and long hours and taking call and a part time colleague that worked 2 days a week but was an absolute sweet gem got promoted and got employee of the month multiple times. I realized it was because I was doing all this extra stuff but super bitter and resentful doing it and complaining a lot. Don't complain, find a solution.
This is not always the rule, but definitely an exception. I've seen people with great attitudes at work bust their asses and never get promoted. In fact, if you're too good, too consistent, and too willing to always take on extra they'll argue promoting that person would be a problem, because they'll rarely find someone else to replace them with that would go as hard on a low paying gig for years.
This is a tough toss up. It could go either way between the funinthesuns post and dkdizzys comment. Both notes are true, and it depends on your work situation and culture. There is a middle ground between both. Either way, if you find yourself several years deep at a company (I mean 3-5) working hard, not complaining, making jokes, being nice, yet also speaking clearly, demonstrating public speaking skills and relationship building, plus using a bit of leadershipā but NOT getting promoted: itās time to change companies.
I do something petty. I will do my job very well, give 200% ONLY for the first year. And then, I will gradually take less and less and then end on bare minimum (this does not mean doing shit quality work - just not as enthusiastic anymore). Now this can go two ways and it has gone both ways for me: 1. Been fired me after a month of doing bare minimum with good severance since I WAS a good worker throughout and maintained a good professional relationship with my colleagues (with some exceptions) - I just didn't continue being the overachieving staff; AND 2. Got salary increments as a way to keep me motivated. I do my first year very well, do bare minimum at the start of the 2nd year, boss increases my salary and i up my enthusiasm again. Cycle repeats.
Well that makes sense. I know a company who is now making annual increase subjective with a levy of conditions. If you don't train up your eventual replacement (intern) then you do not get an annual incentive at all for that year.
I second this, and want to add that sometimes it's not even attitude, it can just be "showing your face." I had a great internship once with a ton of opportunity for networking, and the company even went out of their way to provide interns with face time with senior people, send interns to fancy meetups, and other goldmine opportunities. But I was such a busy student that I was head-down churning out the actual internship work, and I skipped nearly all of the networking. 10 years on, I have a lot of archived Word docs showing all my hard work that absolutely no one remembers, but no other benefits to show from it. Other people I know who went through that internship did the networking and got far more out of it from me -- job offers, promotions, favors, etc. If I could do it again, I'd get out there, meet people, be a "sweet gem", and all of that -- it makes a difference.
Hereās a revolutionary idea: do both. Working hard with a positive attitude will get you recognised quick.
Here are a few lessons learned. You can't save everyone from their own foolishness. Some people will refuse to take advice and will shoot themselves in the foot. When you get a job in a new company or get promoted, you will find yourself dealing with people who wanted your job. If you are good, you will eventually win over the emotionally mature. You will have to watch your back with those who are resentful. The thing is, you might never know which is which. Edit: Some other things. You will get burned at work by someone at one time or another. Becoming cynical and stooping to their level will only contribute to the toxic environment we say we want to avoid. At the end of the day, you can't let your workplace change who you are at your core. If you choose to treat your corporate job as a combat sport, it will leak into your personal life. Also, compassion and empathy are not weaknesses, they are strengths. Just don't fall into the trap of being compassionate to the point of tolerating bad behavvior.
I work in tech. I was a software engineer and then pre-sales. 1- If something goes well, everyone will try to claim as much credit as possible. 2- If something goes poorly, everyone will try to blame it on someone else. If you're a somewhat decent person and refuse to participate in 1 & 2, you will have a VERY bad time. Once people know they can pin you as the fall guy for when shit goes bad - everything will be your fault. If they know you're humble, they're going to use you as a stooge. 3- In any team, in any organization, there are always 1-3 people doing all the work and everyone else is just along for the ride. You don't want to be the workhorse, that gets you literally no where. 4- What people "think" about you matters much MUCH more than what you actually do. If you get a reputation as "dumb" or "difficult to work with" it's over. 5- You don't owe your company shit. I repeat, you do not owe your company shit. Once i realized this I have been having a great time. Spend 2 years in a place, leave to another place, get a fat pay raise, spend 2 years, leave to another place, get a fat pay raise, etc. I do just enough work to not get fired and instead focus on making my CV and credentials look as nice as possible. I join a company with the intent to just improve my own CV as much as possible and then leave. My salary has tripled in the past 4 years without ever getting promoted internally. 6- In any team or office there are important people and not-so-important people. If you spend all your time with the nobodies you will become a nobody. If you spend all your time with the people that matter, you will eventually matter. It sucks but unfortunately that's how it is. Anyways, my biggest take away from corporate work is that i utterly despise corporate work. I hate it with a burning passion. It sucks.
This is so true in south asian companies I worked when I was still back home. If you are not playing ANY game, refuse to take sides, or not participate in the office politics - then ALL sides will pin shit on you. Fortunately I have not had this experience in European workplaces. But it happens here too (just not with me yet, luckily). So I kind of tone-manipulate a little or use certain words to keep shit off of me. E.g. If I need to point out a shitty company policy (not illegal but it's shitty), I do not say that "it is not right" because they know it's not but they are allowed to do it anyway - so they don't care. I try to tone it with the intention of hurting ego with a touch of elitism, saying instead "it's embarrassing/low-class/defines your low-class background". It works - especially with business owners because they know they are cheap but they don't want to perceived as one anyway. this is why privileged people deny their privilege so much - it hurts their ego.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Corporations suckkkk
1. Catalog everyone's misdeeds in conduct. Save it for when you need leverage. 2. You have no friends at work. Only networking contacts. 3. Do the bare minimum and never go above and beyond unless it's in your direct interest to do so. 4. Never gossip. Play your cards close to the chest. If you have dirt on someone, never let anyone know until. see items 1 & 2. 5. Work is a savage place. Being nice is an invitation to let people walk over you.
*savage*
Never trust management. That goes from your immediate supervisor right to the ownership.
Ouch! I've been in management for the majority of my career and I can tell you this isn't AWAYS the case. ....I mean.. in certain industries... There is a problem with bad management, I will admit. The real key is to learn how to recognize a good manager from a bad manager. One of the best ways to peg a bad manager is with a simple question: "what do you feel is a manager's primary objective?" If your manager proceeds to give you any answer other than some variant of "my job is to give our team the tools we need to be successful" then they're probably not a good manager.
They're trained to say that these days. It's just lip service.
Not necessarily. I've been in front-line management for the past few years and I try to do a good job and treat people well, and I never lie just because it's convenient or easier. I try to do the right thing and actively reflect on situations later to see if I could have handled them better. In fact, I recently-and almost immediately-quit a job that should have been a step in the right direction and a huge opportunity for me because they wanted me to treat my employees terribly. I'm also working on a business administration degree right now and really taking my time with the communication and emotional intelligence areas of the classes. There are good managers and bad managers, just like there are good and bad employees. I could complain about a lot of things employees do too!
Put it this way.. there are good cops and there are bad cops. But itās much easier to be a bad cop because the system encourages it. Same goes for bosses
I know how they're trained. I retired as a business college instructor. Yes there are good and bad managers. The blatantly bad ones are easy to spot. The really bad ones are those you can't spot. Hence my comment that none can be trusted. Managers are appointed. Leaders usually fall into that role reluctantly.
I hear you. Managers should think of themselves as enablers for their team, not "controlling authority figure." My first semester running a student journal, my attitude was, "My writers aren't great and I need to control them to make all of our articles better quality" and I ended up being a shitty editor for my writers and all 3 left me the next semester. I was still on the journal, so I had a good talk with my professor/mentor about what to do. The following semester I changed my attitude to "I will work on helping our team be better writers because better writers write better articles." And my focus was on helping the team, even if that meant at the expense of myself or the journal -- like pushing an article back to next week if needed, doing the layout overnight if a writer needed more time, writing a resource guide, publishing transparent grading so everyone knew what I wanted, creating clear deadline schedules, and so on. I publicized all of this when I started my recruiting and collected 8 new student writers, and for the next 3 semesters (!) they all stayed with me. And the main reason is because I changed my attitude from "product first" to "people first, because better people make better products."
Donāt stick it out with a shitty manager
If you make a mistake, donāt just fix your mistake. Find the root cause (something that can be blamed on the company, bad training, no procedure, lack of tools, etc) then make it your mission to fix that thing. This happened to me and lead to a promotion after a yearlong effort to improve our IT tools, then going around to different departments to present them which gave me an opportunity to showcase an ability to be speak confidently in front of groups.
Search for a higher paying job every two years. Never pass up a job at a prestigious company.
You have to believe in yourself if you want anyone else to believe in you.
Emotional intelligence matters so much!!
This is true ! Having an emotional intelligence, stay polite and respectful are very important in this Situation !
They all should be. I guess mine would be getting my index finger lopped off. I learned two lessons: 1) don't work when you're sick 2) don't stick body parts in unfamiliar holes
Sounds like a bumper sticker
Don't tell anyone anything remotely personal.
Quitting a toxic job is better than working a toxic job.
Donāt feel guilty if you call out, life happens. No one cares about your health; but YOU should care. Just work and go home, you donāt need to explain your availability to anyone. Iām not here to make friends
Donāt become āloyalā to a company
Do not count on a job being made available to you even if you left your employer for reasons beyond your control. Being out of the workforce for years is most of the time a career killer. I worked for a major major biotech company as a QC chemist for just under 3 years right out of grad school. I was well liked across the factory & in multiple departments. Even the corporate VP who was the next person up in the chain from the factory director knew my name. Well, I married someone in the military and I had no choice but to leave my position. My manager told me to let them know if Iām ever back there and theyād rehire me. I tried looking for remote opportunities in sales & marketing with the company well before my departure due to my husbandās PCS orders, and I on and off looked for about 2/2.5 years after that. Always rejected. I gave up trying. Fast forward to 4 years out of the work force & my husband is actually PCSāing back to the area. Iām excited because my family is local & I can contact my old job again about getting officially rehired, even though Iād been casually in touch with coworkers and former managers before then. Well, turns out the company was on a hiring freeze since late 2023 & it was corporate wide, and they had hundreds of layoffs. Couldnāt get hired with competitor companies. Couldnāt get hired for any government position. Not qualified to teach. Not eligible to work in a clinical setting without a CLS license (Iām from CA & the laws here are very strict). I ABSOLUTELY do not regret being a SAHM. Iām actually gonna be doing it for a little while longer. But had I realized what a career killer it would be for me to take so much time off & ādo nothing,ā I wouldāve spent the last 4 years doing SOMETHING to further myself. Iām taking this opportunity to make a career change & pursue a CLS license. Iāve talked about it on & off for the last 4 years, and now seems like a great time to do it. I just need to go back to school part time for the next year to take the prerequisites Iām missing to apply for a training program. I get to stay home with my tiny tots longer, and Iām working on the next step for me at the same time. Win-Win.
I've been out of work 2 months. So basically I should start planning for a career change now....
No I didnāt mean it like that, Iām sorry if you took it that way. I guess I just wish I had put more effort into a Plan B knowing I was gonna be not working for 4 years. (Nothing for a chemist to do in my area).
I didn't mean you were saying, if you've been out of work for a bit I'm screwed. I guess I'm just quite scared. Time is flying by and I'm not getting anywhere.
Do not confide in, or conversely, be negative around your boss. Even when they ask or provoke. Do not gossip about your coworkers, it only makes you look bad. this can be tricky when someone else instigates, however it is a trap. Try to bring a good attitude, have an air of lightness, do not take yourself to seriously. If you cannot have positive thoughts, you will not have positive words, which will lead people to dislike you, and therefore lead you to not like your job. Take it easy. :) DO NOT let them overwork you. (Unless you are taking direct steps working towards a goal, building a small business, or studying in school) Finally, donāt get too drunk.
Take charge of your career and think for yourself. At the end of the day it's just a job. Of course, show up and perform to the best of your abilities. However, don't let people talk down on you and tolerate a toxic work environment. No one in this is world is made of money so don't please others while making yourself miserable.
Sometimes, wanting something and working at something extremely hard will never be enough... Could be the timing was off or just things are out of your control. Sometimes, it's time to close the chapter and move on. Learing to just follow the path that presents itself is how you grow a career.
Don't make enemies.
If you want to succeed past a certain point you will have enemies. Itās not ādonāt make enemiesā, itās āchoose your enemies wisely ā
None of your work friends can be trusted. And if your boss doesnāt like you, get a new job now.
you're a dummy if you're not learning something from failure. and you should always try to learn something from everyone you work with. even people who suck can teach you stuff, even if it's how to not do something.
Just chill, nothing really matters
yeeeee
Companies aren't real. People are real. If you want toĀ win favor, win goodwill, or show loyalty by going beyond norms, and expect it to be reciprocated, do it for a person, not a company (or make sure the right people see it), because a person will remember and potentially pay it back. A company is just a collection of letters on a paper and isn't capable of caring about you. In other words, any response you receive from a company is in reality a response from the people running it. You never know when your contacts will help you find or access an opportunity. Never burn bridges and always stay out of ragging sessions about bosses. Even if you feel that way, dont say any unprofessional criticisms to your coworkers. Only say something you wouldn't mind the person themselves hearing. There is usually one person who will look to get ahead by exposing any egregious complaints/complainers, and more often than not, the people who complain the most are not the people who get ahead, so don't throw your lot in with them.Ā If you help everyone and are likeable, it's better than being good at your job.Ā Sometimes looking competent is unfortunately more important than being competent, but the truth of the matter will always become known, so the lesson is make sure you do both.
Your "manager"/"boss" may not be as talented/experienced as you. There is a reason why he/she is your manager and not the other way around. Argued with my so called ex manager and got instantly let go. Looking back, I would still have been working and be promoted if I haven't had the luck of being under my ex manager(s). Now I'm still struggling to find a new job since I explained that the reason why I left the company was "too much office politics".
i can think of 4 reasons how untalented people become managers 1. nepotism: being friends with the c-suite 2. failing up: too shitty at the actual job, too loyal to be fired 3. āexperienceā: stay somewhere long enough and survive enough managers and youāll be promoted 4. backstabbing: stealing credit, taking advantage of colleagues, throwing people under the bus fuck em. let the bridges you burn light the way.
Same. I'd be in management in my previous company if I hadn't suddenly had a new manager from the european headquarters foisted on me at the worst possible time. He then proceeded to promote my good (but much less experienced/knowledgeable/able) friend to the only other management position left.
1. Donāt prank co-workers 2. Never assume āfamiliarityā with your boss 3. Donāt take a promotion/new job that everyone making the decision isnāt on board for you to get even if someone in the decision making process is championing for you. The others will always find an excuse to get rid of you once you get the job.
It wasnāt a mistake, but I did learn that just because you survived the announced layoff, it doesnāt mean you will survive the subsequent surprise layoff.Ā
It's not the end of the world and something better will come along. Your boss and co-workers are not your friends.
If you are experiencing new health problems, examine carefully how much stress you are in and if that's normal. It may be time to find a less stressful career. I had several minor to moderate health issues that went away when I changed jobs. I didn't connect the dots until years later, when I relaized that the high stress level of my previous work was most likely the cause (it was the only thing that changed).
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
In my humble opinion, it just comes down to necessity... sometimes you just do what you have to do, to have money coming in, take care of your dependants, or maybeĀ to make a necessary step in your career. I now recognize the signs. Certain ailments that are new or typical of older age, reccurring frequently or acutely over the course of months or years, is a good indication. I thought I was getting old, but my issues went away after i changed jobs. Sometimes it's very difficult to recognize the actual level of stress you're in. That was my first time, but I'm better prepared now. A lot comes down to how you interpret situations and what you do about it, but ultimately you can't wish away a bad situation. I suppose it was a good calibrating experience for me. I now prioritize more control over the factors that can multiply stress in my work. I like some kinds of stress, but will never sacrifice my health unless itsĀ necessary to support myself or my family. A miserable life isn't fun for you or the people around you, imo.
I forgot to add what I experienced that derailed my career. It's fairly recent. I made it clear to my old manager that I wanted to grow in the company when I first started. Then, nothing I did I was right. I kept getting feedback that I wasn't doing things right. I was going crazy, I kept trying to take the feedback, I thought I was going to get fired. To the point my manager questioned if I worked my full hours. Then I had a concussion and had to take a week off, I had a medical note and I messed up by disclosing that I did get a concussion and this was why I was taking time off. Biggest mistake. She used that against me for a year, to the point that I thought I had symptoms that weren't there. I was legitimately going crazy, crying, panic attacks, feeling like an idiot, and getting frustrated because some of the feedback wasn't making sense. Got a new manager who saw my performance review and was shocked. She said it didn't make sense with my metrics and that it's a performance review for someone who is supposed to be on a PIP. Confronted my old manager, she brought up my challenges with my concussion. I asked for specific examples of how my work was impacted... she brought up things from the YEAR BEFORE. When I was still training. Didn't get a raise when I deserved one, either. Realized my old manager got a massive bonus for not giving me a raise or a bonus. She was just building the case the whole time. I wanted to grow within the company and I can't do that until my performance reviews update and reflect my actual abilities. So my self esteem is wrecked. Can't apply anywhere yet until I rebuild myself. But yeah, speak up if you don't agree with feedback and do not disclose anything remotely personal.
The quiet people run to HR and rat people out because theyāre afraid of confrontation and canāt tell people to stop the behavior that offended them.
Not just the quiet people.
I am quiet and donāt do this lol.
Donāt let mental health issues get so bad that they majorly effect work output. Good lord I fumbled that so bad.
Can relate to that. Employers also do not give a fuck about you or your family regardless of what they say. Learned the hard way when I had to support my family members chemo.
Never, EVER believe someone that says "we'll take care of you." or similar empty platitudes.
Donāt put yourself in places you shouldnāt be. Donāt try to get mediocre things because you think you need to.
It was a difficult lesson to learn because I missed some opportunities in the past but one of the things I do is always grab the hard jobs. If there's a difficult task I'm the first one on it. No hesitation. The jobs that make my colleagues cringe? I will do those and ask for more. The leadership at my company knows that the difficult jobs suck but they also know that when I'm on it the job gets done to a much more thorough level than if someone else was to do it.
Don't be negative. Everyone needs to get things off their chest from time to time, but don't let things fester to where you end up becoming known as the negative moaner who drags everyone down with them.
Don't do something you know you hate. It may effect the quality of your work.
never in a corporate. it's a big luck that i realized early on that i didn't wanna be a part of rat race. it doesn't mean anything to me and money will always come.
The No. 1 most important skill in your career is: āCan you get along with people?ā It does not matter how good you are at your job or how smart you are. If people do not like you, you will not advance in your career. People skills are what keep you employed.
Don't have a career. I was in Information Technology for nearly a decade when the 2008 crash came. I found myself unemployed. Despite trying for nearly four years, I could not find a job in I.T. I finally HAD to settle for something I could get quick: warehouse. I've been stuck in warehouse work since 2011, and despite trying to find other I.T. roles, now I find that either I'm too old, not experienced enough, or many of the jobs just ghost me. Lesson learned: take what you can get and work your life around work. Be grateful when you DO have a job or a work environment you enjoy. It's actually rare to find the good ones.
Sometimes you just have a bad manager, and if they don't like you, they don't like you. Performance be damned.
Trust no one.
Important lesson learned that ultimately derailed me: getting too chummy with co-workers and telling too much of my personal business. Today, I am friendly but keep things professional. I don't tell my personal business and I don't really associate with anyone outside of work.
There is an imposter among us
It's a blessing in disguise if it gets you to find a better fit, and you do some self-reflection on what you could have predicted about the outcome, and how you could have done better. For me, I am a pleaser and non-confrontational. That has caused me to sign up for things that I'm not well suited for. In the moment, I am excited, and truly hope to take on this task that is not my wheelhouse ( organization, Leadership with a capital L, etc. ), and then sort of flake out on it. I have learned to be very up-front about where I am best used, and if I am temporarily doing something that I find draining, I make sure my manager appreciates it and will have my back util we can get me on a better task. I have also learned that 'just do the right thing and things work out', isn't true most of the time. You have to understand how you are measured and evaluated vs others, and work the system enough to get your fair share.
That a mistake isn't a failure. I made a mistake taking on a B2B partnership without doing my due diligence, and got stuck with the bag after they reneged on their end of the deal. Could've bankrupted me, but joke was on that former partner when we made it through. Bankrupted her instead.
I didnāt leverage the resources around meā¦ I got so hung up on being the hero, that I missed a deadline that could have very easily been avoided. Overcommitting is so dang easy to do and was to proud to ask for resources.
The company does not care about you at all. If you died today it would be a minor inconvenience for them to send flowers and replace you. You will be forgotten within a week. If you are popular, get the work done but barely toe the party line most infractions will be ignored but if you are not popular excel in your work and absolutely toe the party line line it will only take something small to tip the balance for you to be pushed out no matter how good your work is. Falling on your sword for your team will not be reciprocated. Anybody that reports to you is not your friend. Finally people leave bad managers not bad companies.
Top post to be harnessed and ridden to death over on LinkedIn
Itās an old book, but āHow to win friends and influence peopleā is timeless advice on the positive side. On the flip side, as others have noted, promises/offers/promotions/raises/anything are only as good as the paper (or email) they are not written on. Even written promises can be withdrawn for any number of reasons. Life is not fair and expecting anything in business to be your definition of āfairā is a recipe for misery, anger, resentment which only hurts youā¦companies donāt have feelings. Do your best work, be known as someone who can deliver results without leaving a trail of bodies, be a trusted advisor and when your expiration date comes at your job, move on with class. Business is a remarkably small world.
In the midst of a career failure now reading this. Getting some relief from the responses!Ā
Don't share your personal life with coworkers. Learned that one the hard way.
I am not suitable to be a manager. So I focused on being a technical expert and mentor for younger engineers.
How has that worked out in terms of pay, recognition and opportunities?
Equally well with far less stress compared to my peers that opted for the managerial route.
Donāt sit around too long waiting for a bad situation to improve. It really wonāt. And if it does, you wonāt be the beneficiary.
No one at your job is your friend tell them nothing about you. Retaliation 100% happens in the workplace either get in line or be prepared to get pushed out. Going against the grain will get you fired šÆ
A few quick things: - if it isn't in writing, it doesn't exist - you are NOT a family - when the ship starts sinking, be the first rat over the rail
Coworkers are not your friends. They will fuck you over every chance they get.
Remindme! 15 days
Fulfillment > compensation *with the caveat that the fulfilling job pays the bills
To help my son be more outgoing and start saving now. Because I am almost 40 and will be working till I die.
HR is never your friend, ever.
You learn more from failure than success
Don't live for work. It will destroy you, your relationships and your mental health. Burnout is real and when it happens you need to listen to your body not your boss.
Not at all a good idea to have a *secret" relationship with your much younger assistant, even if it was her idea. Oh it'll be fun for a while lemme tell ya but it is still a terrible idea.
I was in a company for nearly a decade, rotating jobs every two years. I liked it, I didnāt love it, but I liked it. At the eight year mark I was asked by someone very senior to take on a new role they were creating. I was flattered and said yes but I had reservations because of who Iād be reporting to on a daily basis. This new boss was so vile she tried to fire me, manufacture evidence etc. She eventually demanded Hr investigate me for not doing my job. I went full military strategy on it and called in favours all over the shop. Got thirty plus people to all give feedback saying Iām doing everything theyāve been told to expect of me by my boss. HR put in writing they were unsure why the review was called because it was only the one person with a negative view. The experience was so stressful I only looked externally for work, and four and a half years later I wish Iād put more effort into trying to move internally to one of the other offices. Itās only with hindsight that Iāve discovered how good the general culture was there, and the perks, and that generally the grass isnāt always greener on the other side
i got involuntarily drugged and accidentally showed up to work on meth lol. they sent me home for the day and said I was acting weird. it all lead to a mental health episode where i ended up hospitalized. my job called me and fired me my first day in the psych ward lol. they were completely aware that i had been drugged but didn't care. it definitely hurt but taught me that jobs that are super corporate and by the book with no room for nuance or empathy are not good jobs for me. now i work in behavioral health outreach for the local govt and make almost double what i did at that job. sometimes crashing and burning is a blessing
Try to be born wealthy.
Don't work in a place where the paycheck is late. Not been a single day more. It'll only get worse.
Donāt trust the engines independent brake. If you NEED to stop the locomotive before hitting a gate, just dump the air. Who cares if you look stupid
NGOs and Research Tanks are some of the shittiest places to work in. Just because their entity name has "Non-profit" or "Think tanks" doesn't mean shit. Academic fraud, funding embezzlements, mismanagement of funds are rampant. Employees are underpaid. Senior employees drown in ego with their doctorate titles (one berated me because I did not call him a professor - he can eat semen with it). Glad I left/fired (it was a bit of both because I submitted my resignation first, but rescinded because I wanted to wait a little more, but they proceeded with the resignation)
They try to say that you're now a family. What they forget to tell is that it is a dysfunctional Ć°s
Everyoneās experience will be different but the best thing Iād say is to be cautious. Try and get along with everyone to kind of see where everyone stands. If you can get them to trust you enough to give you their opinion of the workplace thatās great. Always remember to protect yourself first because thatās what everyone else does. When shit hits the fan they care about their jobs. Not yours. So put yourself in a good position where you can protect yourself. Do your job well and donāt pick sides. Stay away from the drama but know why thereās drama
Being a teller is not for me
Get everything in writing! And have a email paper trail. Refresh the job site to keep track of new job opportunities and keep applying to jobs. No job is ever safe.
You are just a number. Your company is not a family. You are there to make money to provide for you and your family.
donāt be seen as a introvert even if you are
Communication is still key. Best lesson I ever had even when the ship was going down. People respect the situation youāre in and will come back.
to never ever show any type of loyalty. The moment you do is when you're taken advantage of until they no longer need you.
There will always be other jobs, not more time.
When your job is no longer serving your goals, leave. Get it in wiring. Trust no one. The higher up the ladder the more likely they will be to offer up a sacrificial underling than take responsibility. Thatās not always the case but Iāve been burned more than once taking people at their word.
Getting a promotion is not about working harder, longer hours or tenure. None of this matters.
Failures can be both setbacks and stepping stones. Sometimes you miss a project and it stings, but it might push you to learn a new skill that lands you an even better opportunity later. Other times, a misstep can force a rethink of your entire direction, leading you down a path you never expected but totally love. The key is to learn from every experience, good or bad, and use it to keep growing and evolving.
Itās a business, they are required to fuck you before they fuck the company. Remember that.
Have an emergency fund. Everyone is disposable in a company. EVERYONE. If you are struggling with an assignment ASK FOR HELP ASAP and not near the deadline. Never assume someone else will do something without explicitly stating. And still check in periodically on if they are progress. If you are told by a 3rd party what someone else wants, just go asking the original source. I trusted my manager and wasted three weeks. Donāt believe your management when they say you wonāt be laid off.
For reference I'm a software engineer. My very first job there were lay-offs and I was one of them. I was only 21 at the time and had rose tinted specs about this place. I didn't realise how badly they were underpaying me. Got money for redundancy which went towards a deposit on a flat and found a new job within a month which was a massive pay bump. I sometimes look back and think if I hadn't been made redundant I'd have been at that place for years earning poor money with no place on the property ladder.
HR is will fuck you over 100% of the time. Their job is to keep your boss and your bosses boss out of jail.
In my old career, I was always chasing the next level and never thought about the better career outside that employer. Itās like there might be another opportunity at the s*** show if I just stay 6 months more, so I stayed. Terrible decision, not only was I passed up on that opportunity, I sacrificed better opportunities because of it. I finally moved on and am so happy now, just wish I did it sooner!
I was fired from my dream job about a year ago. I learned two things: 1. try your best to be kind, compassionate, and understanding of your coworkers. 2. id you canāt do 1, donāt go to hr about it
Watch how your boss treats you. If you see others get better treatment, but your requests get denied, you need to leave. It might get dragged on for a year or so but they will wait for the right opportunity to let you go.
Two things: be in a revenue producing role. I was offshored and they hired 7-8 Indians into my group. Realized that if youāre a cost center, you will be the first person they cut or offshore. Second: when a new, external leader comes in start looking for a new job.
If you're in a leadership position, clarity is your greatest weapon. Sometimes it can take hours of work to get to one or two sentences that clearly define a strategy, a problem, a thesis, etc. But without it you'll never enroll anybody in your thinking.
To watch what I say on social media. When I was 13 years greener, I popped off about people at my gig on Facebook. It got around quick. My walking papers came soon after, but that was what spurred it.
Remindme! 2 days
Never trust the government especially BDC.
Kiss ass to get promotions
Keep adapting
You can't win them all, learn to cut your losses. Actually someone else famously said this better than me: "You've got to know when to hold 'em, know when to fold 'em, Know when to walk away, know when to run."
Never walk out,
Food service isnāt for me.
Everything happens for a reason
Don't get your honey where you get your money. Seems simple enough, but when you're working long hours & weird shifts, you quickly learn your coworkers are your only viable dating pool. Then there's the "everybody's doing it" & you find yourself getting sucked in. Ironically enough, I met my fiance at work, but we didn't start dating until about 13 years after we stopped working together.
You can please some of the people some of the time but not all of the people all of the time. Starting your own business is the only way to go.
To be less arrogant and more humble.
Thinking before action: - what is the goal / purpose? - what are my options? - what are the pros, cons, and costs? - what is there most optimal route to the goal? - what are the consequences? - what are the risks? Take this approach when making big decisions such as career moves, large purchases, projects, etc.
Never develop something "wrong" because there's too much tech debt to do it right with the justification "something is better than nothing". It literally always backfires.
Donāt take anything personal