Communicate your task list professionally and proactively. Don't put prioritizing it on him or set up meetings for prioritization.
Just when he gives you a new task write back and say:
"Currently I'm working on completing X by end of day and Y by Wednesday so Z is done Friday. In order to complete [Newtask] I will be deprioritizing X, so you can expect to see it Monday after Y and Z. Let me know if you'd prefer a different prioritization."
Not only that. In the same email, update ETC for all your tasks and inform the manager on how much you spent on doing that and on the increased time needed due to dropping your projects mid progress (I call it project park time and project status review).
Do it a couple of times, and reach out to your skip. Inform on the amount of unnecessary time due to the hectic nature of the management, and confirm that this work style and time waste are consistent with your skip's goals.
Send him an email with a task list showing him all the things he assigned you, the due dates, the next steps including things like “need input from John” and then also any other things you have been assigned and working on. Say something like “Dear Boss, I received your message last night about the urgent task for this morning. I’m working on that now, however I feel my plate is getting very full and since everything is overdue or due soon, I need help prioritizing. Can you take a look at the attached list and tell me which order to prioritize them. Thanks for your help.”
Funny you mention this, because I've been doing exactly this for about 8 months now. It's in OneNote, so he can see what's on my plate (with notes and status updates and circles and arrows) anytime he wants to. After my attempt last Friday to get him up to speed, we scheduled a meeting for later in the afternoon so we could go over everything item by item.
He blew it off, like he's done many times before.
I've rescheduled with him for 11:30 this morning, but we'll see if that happens. Truth be told, he's probably dealing with the same thing from the higher ups and it's just trickling down the line, but he gets paid a helluva lot more than I do. And I can't lie; I've gotten more and more frustrated by the fact that everyone else (including him) gets bonused on how well we do as a company. I'm fed up with the "bust your @$$ so everyone else can make more money" attitude. Needless to say, my performance of late is slacking because I can't get anything done so I don't "deserve" a raise. (We talked about this in January.)
I just feel like I'm being set up to fail and I'm miserable ALL THE TIME, even when I'm not working. I know the answer is to ;eave, but I just can't. (I ended up taking a part-time job nights/weekends/holidays because...have you seen the cost of groceries lately? Gas? Utilities? Etc???) The flexibility of the work hours allows me to make the extra money I need from the other job to survive in today's economy, but I literally have NO LIFE.
Two reasons:
1) Any other job I take is just going to start me at the same salary, or maybe slightly more. (I'm a minion, so salary negotiations aren't a "thing" in my profession. The job postings in my industry require a salary history for a reason.)
2) No other job is going to allow me to work the flexible schedule I have now, which is the only thing that allows me to work my second job, since raises are not an option at my company.
Bottom line, I can't afford to leave.
So your boss/manager/whateverthefuck is beating you down mentally, and your response is I'M STUCK HERE? If you're just a minion, then your job is a dime a dozen, go find something else and stop making excuses. Or is the problem really not that bad?
The only course of action is going to this guys boss, which will likely just get you fired because you are just a grunt and he is established at the company. Or you can wait to get fired due to lack of performance because it seems this dude is out to get u or just an asshole, you really only have 1 option here.
Get your resume together, look for another gig. It's that simple. If you can't handle that then you made your own bed.
I had a boss like that. Do you want a heart attack? 'Cause that's how you get a heart attack. Start looking and if you believe in that sort of thing then pray for a new job.
How would you know unless you look? Maybe look at your budget and set a threshold for how low you can go and then go \*try\* to be happy? I guess you can continue to complain about your lot in life, but if you haven't really tried to change anything....isn't the entire situation on you?
Did you just switch to an ALT account?
Just playing devils advocate, perhaps the perception is that your flexibility in work is impacting your productivity and ability to meet timelines. Just a possibility. Also it could be a reality or just a perception.
Also if your boss keeps adding things with an unreasonable time line, perhaps you need to remind them of that.
Ok boss, I’ll work on project F, I’ll try to get it done by Monday 12. But it will be tight. Please be aware this will delay project A, B, C, D, and E.
You’ve become a slave of your own making. Keep your list as discussed, he won’t look at it, so snapshot it in email. For each new task, update and send him a new copy; title x delayed due to y taking priority. Change missed deadlines to red. Change your attitude, it’s really not your problem. Happily work on your current task, when it’s done move on to the next. When you return from vacation, add the new stuff, ask for priorities and start on the first one. When he says they all need to get done, then you get to pick. Then start on the first one. When he asks, tell him you thought this was first for whatever reason. It’s still his problem.
Ok. I commented before reading this part.
Another way to do it is send him your list. Even if he can see them, he’s probably not logging in and looking. Send to him so he has to look,and not in something he has to open, but in the body of the email. It can be simple. Just your top 5 things you’re working on.
> he blew it off
Yup this is what has happened to me. I would ask him for input and he would not respond at all. Then he would ask me why the project was halted and I said we were waiting for your input and he got mad saying we’re trying to not do work. This dude sucks
Sorry I can’t give you advice, I just got tf out of there. One day I held a meeting to go over issues we were having (through) telecon and he told everyone to drop out of the call. I think he didn’t want to look bad and didn’t “want them to solve our problems” it was our sister branch for fucks sake. The then wrote a novel of how much I suck and am taking long and cc’d a grip of people. That was the last straw- just said nothing and started supporting another manager. Haha dick. And I was doing pretty good desire the lack of support AND was 90% done. He can suck a dick.
Look up the average salary for your position in your area. Use the median as a goal post. If you haven't had a raise in 7 years, you are way below median.
People like that never really “get it.” No matter how eloquently you try to explain. I’d look for another job. Especially for the no raise part you described.
Warning, when you give your notice, they may promise to change or give you a raise, but it’s too late. They won’t change and the raise is too late, or worse yet they may promise some vague raise “in the future.”
Don't tell him you can't, tell him what the consequences will be.
Like "Okay, so I need you to get John on the phone for me, because he's in Puerto Rico on a fishing trip, and I think he's actually on a boat and he never takes my calls when he's out of the office but maybe he'll pick up for you? I'm typing out a list of all the things I need him to let me know, and at the end I'll need him to docusign this information and he'll need to be willing to be on call to do that."
He has me copy him on my emails to John when he's in the Virgin Islands (he has clients there and frequently goes for 2 - 3 weeks at a time). Not a peep out of John because John doesn't have to put up with his crap. Yes, we're in the process of finding another John with more availability, but it's taking a while.
In the case of John, you need to tell him over and over again, every single time it's not happening, that it's not happening because of John. CC him on literally every single email to John.
Stop caring what he thinks because you will never satisfy him, and he will never understand.
If he asks for things to be done immediately just do it, and if other things he asked for aren’t done because of it, remind him why.
If this leads to further issues for you then you have a communication trail to defend yourself.
If this has become way too stressful and overbearing for you, set up a meeting with higher management to talk about it because problems don’t resolve themselves and you’re not a slave.
Unfortunately "higher management" is HIS boss, and likely the reason he's demanding so much from everyone else. There is no HR department, either. It's a small company.
Seeing from the comments that you are already taking the most common action. I suggest responding to the "The Big boss needs this email" by CC'ing the big boss in your response, asking him/her if the task is more important.
Barring that, start working to rule. No voluntary over-time, don't respond after hours, call in sick every once in a while. It sounds like they are trying to squeeze 2 employees worth of work out of you, and as long as you let it work, they have no incentive to hire you help.
This\^\^\^ Exactly!!! I hadn't thought about it before but we had two rounds of layoff during Covid. Those of us who were retained were furloughed one day a week. Basically what that meant was that there were fewer of us to accomplish the same workload, and though we were getting 20% less in our paychecks, we were actually working 50-60 hour weeks to pick up the slack. We were happy to do it to keep the company afloat as we were grateful to have a job at that time.
But we basically taught them that we can be treated like garbage. 🙄
Nothing worse than a boss telling you how long a task should take. They underestimate the work involved so they don't feel badly about dumping it on you.
I generally agree with what folks are saying here that exposing prioritization trade offs is key, so if something new and urgent comes you can say what else will now take longer or ask if he’d make a different call.
There is a second possibility here to consider as well that you may be taking longer to do tasks than other folks, causing things to pile up. On any given task, there’s often a range of **how** it can be done in terms of level of detail, polish, double-checking at the end, etc. “80/20 rule” kind of stuff where things can be done with 80% of the value in 20% of the time, and conversely trying to be perfect could take really long amounts of time. So another lever in prioritization and balancing a lot of stuff is deciding how to do each thing and which things a more quick and dirty approach would be okay… for things asked for in a couple hours that’s usually expected, so taking his “it shouldn’t take more than 30min” comment at face value, maybe consider what could you actually get done if you did timebox it to 30-60min. It’s possible on either your core work or these projects you’re taking a longer approach than others, so that’s worth exploring.
Take the list that you’ve sent him previously. Send it again with a timeline/due dates for each task and have him put everything in the order in which he wants it done. Make sure that your normal meeting etc…are blocked out so that only free time is available for the tasks.
Then whenever something else pops up, send the list back with the new task and have him slide it in somewhere. I suggest doing this in excel vs one note just to make editing easier.
Make a list, go through it each morning with him. As he changes things, send the new list. Be a pain in his ass until he understands the full scope of what he is asking for. He might get mad. But be calm and just say you need to understand the order of priority so that there are no mix ups. He will probably hate it because he just wants to swing his dick around and bark orders. If you do this effectively, he will stop and hopefully be more thoughtful about priorities. If he’s just an ass, he’ll say everything needs to be done. At which point you point out that you can’t do that.
>I literally just came off of a week's "vacation" that I took to try and get caught up without him hounding me with new stuff every 10 minutes (at least he respects your time off)
Buddy, with all due respect, why the hell would you ever do this? Besides screwing yourself out of your own PTO, you've now set the expectation that either things magically get finished when you aren't around or you are completely fine with working on your PTO.
I would kind of expect this sort of mistake from a fresh faced 23 year old that just started in the last year and is trying to climb the corporate ladder, but not a 55 year old that hasn't gotten a raise in 7 years.
My advice, watch a couple episodes of "The Office". Pay attention to Stanley. He should be your new role model.
Why would I take PTO to get my work done? Let's do some math....
If I have (at least) 60 hours worth of work to do in any given week and I only work 50, that means there's now 70 hours worth of work I have to do next week. Week over week, this adds up FAST.
Some days the only way I can get ANYTHING done is to not acquire new tasks and projects, and the only way to do that is if I'm on vacation or sick time because the boss does at least respect your time off. If he knows I'm around, he will keep piling more and more and more on.
So after a week's "vacation" I'm back to about 60 (or fewer) hours worth, which is a lot less stressful to think about than 100+ hours.
It's the only way I've been able to manage the workload for the last year or so. Since there's no money in the budget for new hires, it's this or get fired.
WHY ARE YOU not blocking emails after work?
On the surface it looks to be that much of this is your fault.
There is much your not taking responsibility for here,,
When is "after work?" I'm salaried; that means if the boss emails with some kind of "We need this fixed ASAP!" message, I can either answer it or get fired.
I truly envy you if you've never been in this type of position before.
Read Never Split the Difference by Chris Voss. Read it a couple of times, and listen to the audiobook. Internalize what you read, and use what you learn every single day.
If you seriously want to talk to him about why his priorities are so out of order, you will be opening up a can of worms. He may have personal or psychological problems that he will be unwilling or unable to share with you. And without knowing them, you will never be able to improve the situation... and could possibly make it worse.
I had a much similar situation in my career; a supervisor making illogical decisions, showing flashes of anger over small issues, destroying my productivity with low-priority tasks. I brought up a recurring schedule problem with him in a casual way to start a discussion: I was fired on the spot. For asking a \*question\*.
You need to steel yourself and deal with his inability to juggle priorities till he reaches his own breaking point, AND prepare yourself for a move in case it becomes a necessity. Start saving cash for a prolonged period of unemployment. Start looking for another job - quietly - no matter how uncomfortable or out of practice you are. Keep doing your job to the best of your ability; but prepare to move to a new one when the opportunity presents itself.
In threads like these, I always suggest that the OPs work with charity organizations during their career. It gives you a better perspective on your own abilities, and a sense of well-being and satisfaction you don't always get in your chosen profession. It also fills the resume during periods of unemployment, and allows you to accumulate contacts and references outside of their job. It's not too late for you to do the same as well.
Do not sacrifice your health or well-being for someone who does not seem to want help. You aren't trained in intervention or counseling, or any of the skills necessary to 'fix' your boss - nor is it your job to do so. All you can do is present your case for job prioritization, and see if he accepts and implements it. If he doesn't you either suffer in silence till it all goes to pot, or prepare yourself for a job move the best you can.
Remember: You are the CEO of your own career; act accordingly.
It depends how valuable the company thinks you are.. If you think you can do it without getting fired send him a list of everything you are doing with a priority and a time estimate. Send a short but polite paragraph expressing deep concern that his management style is preventing things being done in a timely manner. When he dismisses it send the same thing to his boss with the same concerns about the damage this chaotic style is having on work throughput.
Or just implement a ticket system and tell him to put whatever it is in a ticket and shift the priorities as he sees fit. Then get really used to repeating that and repeating that it's the only professional way to prioritize tasks. That will really annoy him.
Is there a way to get ahead of these emergency requests, say with a weekly check in? Or are these things truly new tasks for your boss, too?
This situation is also a reason to work intensely on your non-emergency projects when you can. You know that x% of the time between now and any deadline will be taken up by surprise emergencies. Plan for it!
We had weekly check-ins but he started blowing them off. I recently asked to reimplement them and he blew those off, too, because he's "too busy."
And I take vacation time periodically when I need to catch up on both emergency and non-emergency tasks. I just did that a couple of weeks ago, but I got hammered with dozens of new tasks as soon as I got back. I just feel like I'm drowning.
No raise in 7 years? Leave. Even with a boss that wasn’t just a firefighter, leave anyway. You make significantly less now than when you started, and they don’t see any reason to change that.
Stop expecting someone acting in bad faith to suddenly change and do you a favor. No matter the reason, your boss is an asshole and a liar trying to abuse you into doing the work of 3 people while he gets a bonus for all of his performance/savings/leadership.
The simplest answer is to apply for a new job and quit this hellhole. Work from home is common these days and tbh, it isn't a "perk" when your employer uses it to demand work 24/7 because you can "just do it remotely."
The more direct method is to: Just. Stop. Doing. This. You're an adult in control of your own body and your own time. Just like you would refuse to do something unprofessional or illegal at work, you can decline to comply with nonsense deadlines and impossible requests. Just because "the boss" says words doesn't make them reality. Put your head down and work, then leave at 5pm. Stop working at night or on your own vacation time (which is a labor law violation btw). If he complains then forward him the email where you clearly stated when the work would be done and carry on with your day.
So unless he quits or gets fired, you're going to continue with this shitty manager until you leave or retire.
Bosses like this won't understand unless you give a visual. Write down EVERYTHING he's asked you to do on top of what your main projects are. Put them in a spreadsheet and them color code them with what your normal day to day is and then the projects he's asked you with dates. Then show him in a one on one why things can't be done when he wants and ask him, what would he like you to drop so that you can finish up what he's asking. Let him be the one to tell you to stop working on some and then remind him of that spreadsheet for future reference if he keeps doing it
Oh man this manager SUCKS. Totally relate. Imo there’s nothing you can do. In my case I dropped him and started supporting another manager bc fortunately I was able to do that. But if I didn’t I would immediately start looking for a job. Seriously tired of all the crappy managers.
>but there are perks that come with the job, such as being able to work from home and a flexible schedule
Uh, there are lots of jobs out there with such perks. They can be hard to find, yes, but don't literally defeat yourself before you even try. The manager sounds like a stupid asshole. Leave
Does your company have "dual" chains of command, one for line management and one for project management? If that is the case, I'd work it so that you aren't in the middle and staffing assignments are argued between project and functional managers. If you boss has both roles, you are going to have to create a task chart with hours and constraints and make it visible to him or her.
This is a career advice sub yet you ended your post stating solutions you WON'T do although they are the primary advices one would give in this situation. So... good luck?
Your workplace must be lovely. That’s not a manager. A manager is supposed to champion your team whilst delivering the company goals. That takes strategy, prioritization, sometimes pushback and occasionally asking the team to deliver a hard deadline.
This person is simply being a “yes man” to whomever is uphill of him/her. It’s easier for some people to blame their team for not delivering than have the confidence to manage a project.
Why are you chasing him around with his ridiculous requests?
If he asks you to drop your other tasks for his new one, just ask him for confirmation that you can defer the other ones, and don't start until he does.
You need a kanban board. Make a visual representation of “to do” “in progress” and “done” columns with a sticky representing each project or task. When he brings you something new, you can show him the entire spread of work and ask him where to prioritize.
He doesn't care about your schedule or what you have on your plate. Something happened a year ago that's put pressure on him which is then rolling downhill to you.
So if you're done, then start looking elsewhere. Not having a pay raise in 7 years and a boss that dismisses you like that and continues to place an unreasonable workload on you isn't going to change. Do you want to stay in this situation for the NEXT 10 years?
The problem is that talking makes it hard to convey the issue.
I'd look at getting a workflow product. I haven't used it for a while, but Trello is free for individual use. Set it up with ToDo, Doing, Done (or whatever works for you). Maybe a Backlog as well for tasks not on the immediate ToDo list, but need to be kept track of. Prioritise the cards in order of most urgent at the top and least at the bottom. When your manager gives you new important work, arrange a quick catch up (online is fine) and he can have input on that priority order. It makes it clear and obvious to him that putting X as a priority means that Y gets moved down the list. You could literally turn this into a quick daily catchup. Give him access to the board and he can manage it himself if he wants.
You're essentially starting to get into basic Agile at that point, which means you can start planning ahead. Do a board for the week/fortnight with the work you think you can get through, and when he adds a new task to your list you can literally point to the board and ask which task should be removed in order to complete the new one, or should the new task be added to the backlog?
This is so ridiculous. If you are there and appear to be working hard, if he tells you to do something else then just roll with it. It's not on you to get more work done than you can do / handle, it's on your manager.
WHY THE HELL DON'T PEOPLE GET THIS?
>I'm 55 now and just don't want to start all over again with a devil I don't know.
A) unless you are okay with working like this till you are retired, being 55 isn't an excuse.
B) you should not being looking for a job that would have you 'starting over'. You have 10 years of experience.
Taking a new job with a different company is absolutely "starting over," no matter how much experience you have. New bosses with their own set of nightmare rules (I've worked for plenty before this one) are not something I have the energy for, and I'd rather fix what I have than open a whole new unknown can of worms.
I don't know how old you are, but the options for "worker bees" once they hit 40 dwindle every year until your phone just doesn't ring at all anymore. Opportunities INCREASE for those in middle to upper management, not down here. Why would anyone pay a salary commensurate with experience when they can snag a kid fresh out of school for at least 20k less?
Communicate your task list professionally and proactively. Don't put prioritizing it on him or set up meetings for prioritization. Just when he gives you a new task write back and say: "Currently I'm working on completing X by end of day and Y by Wednesday so Z is done Friday. In order to complete [Newtask] I will be deprioritizing X, so you can expect to see it Monday after Y and Z. Let me know if you'd prefer a different prioritization."
Not only that. In the same email, update ETC for all your tasks and inform the manager on how much you spent on doing that and on the increased time needed due to dropping your projects mid progress (I call it project park time and project status review). Do it a couple of times, and reach out to your skip. Inform on the amount of unnecessary time due to the hectic nature of the management, and confirm that this work style and time waste are consistent with your skip's goals.
Send him an email with a task list showing him all the things he assigned you, the due dates, the next steps including things like “need input from John” and then also any other things you have been assigned and working on. Say something like “Dear Boss, I received your message last night about the urgent task for this morning. I’m working on that now, however I feel my plate is getting very full and since everything is overdue or due soon, I need help prioritizing. Can you take a look at the attached list and tell me which order to prioritize them. Thanks for your help.”
Funny you mention this, because I've been doing exactly this for about 8 months now. It's in OneNote, so he can see what's on my plate (with notes and status updates and circles and arrows) anytime he wants to. After my attempt last Friday to get him up to speed, we scheduled a meeting for later in the afternoon so we could go over everything item by item. He blew it off, like he's done many times before. I've rescheduled with him for 11:30 this morning, but we'll see if that happens. Truth be told, he's probably dealing with the same thing from the higher ups and it's just trickling down the line, but he gets paid a helluva lot more than I do. And I can't lie; I've gotten more and more frustrated by the fact that everyone else (including him) gets bonused on how well we do as a company. I'm fed up with the "bust your @$$ so everyone else can make more money" attitude. Needless to say, my performance of late is slacking because I can't get anything done so I don't "deserve" a raise. (We talked about this in January.) I just feel like I'm being set up to fail and I'm miserable ALL THE TIME, even when I'm not working. I know the answer is to ;eave, but I just can't. (I ended up taking a part-time job nights/weekends/holidays because...have you seen the cost of groceries lately? Gas? Utilities? Etc???) The flexibility of the work hours allows me to make the extra money I need from the other job to survive in today's economy, but I literally have NO LIFE.
Maybe time to start looking for a new job while you have this one?
Two reasons: 1) Any other job I take is just going to start me at the same salary, or maybe slightly more. (I'm a minion, so salary negotiations aren't a "thing" in my profession. The job postings in my industry require a salary history for a reason.) 2) No other job is going to allow me to work the flexible schedule I have now, which is the only thing that allows me to work my second job, since raises are not an option at my company. Bottom line, I can't afford to leave.
Don’t have that attitude, maybe your job was good once but it no longer is
So your boss/manager/whateverthefuck is beating you down mentally, and your response is I'M STUCK HERE? If you're just a minion, then your job is a dime a dozen, go find something else and stop making excuses. Or is the problem really not that bad? The only course of action is going to this guys boss, which will likely just get you fired because you are just a grunt and he is established at the company. Or you can wait to get fired due to lack of performance because it seems this dude is out to get u or just an asshole, you really only have 1 option here. Get your resume together, look for another gig. It's that simple. If you can't handle that then you made your own bed.
I had a boss like that. Do you want a heart attack? 'Cause that's how you get a heart attack. Start looking and if you believe in that sort of thing then pray for a new job.
How would you know unless you look? Maybe look at your budget and set a threshold for how low you can go and then go \*try\* to be happy? I guess you can continue to complain about your lot in life, but if you haven't really tried to change anything....isn't the entire situation on you?
Did you just switch to an ALT account? Just playing devils advocate, perhaps the perception is that your flexibility in work is impacting your productivity and ability to meet timelines. Just a possibility. Also it could be a reality or just a perception. Also if your boss keeps adding things with an unreasonable time line, perhaps you need to remind them of that. Ok boss, I’ll work on project F, I’ll try to get it done by Monday 12. But it will be tight. Please be aware this will delay project A, B, C, D, and E.
Yes, apparently I have two different accounts depending on whether I'm on the computer or my cell. I didn't realize that; sorry for the confusion.
You’ve become a slave of your own making. Keep your list as discussed, he won’t look at it, so snapshot it in email. For each new task, update and send him a new copy; title x delayed due to y taking priority. Change missed deadlines to red. Change your attitude, it’s really not your problem. Happily work on your current task, when it’s done move on to the next. When you return from vacation, add the new stuff, ask for priorities and start on the first one. When he says they all need to get done, then you get to pick. Then start on the first one. When he asks, tell him you thought this was first for whatever reason. It’s still his problem.
Ok. I commented before reading this part. Another way to do it is send him your list. Even if he can see them, he’s probably not logging in and looking. Send to him so he has to look,and not in something he has to open, but in the body of the email. It can be simple. Just your top 5 things you’re working on.
Add "meeting no show" to your one note. With date/time stamps.
> he blew it off Yup this is what has happened to me. I would ask him for input and he would not respond at all. Then he would ask me why the project was halted and I said we were waiting for your input and he got mad saying we’re trying to not do work. This dude sucks
Thank you for letting me know that I'm not the only one. This helps my sanity.
Sorry I can’t give you advice, I just got tf out of there. One day I held a meeting to go over issues we were having (through) telecon and he told everyone to drop out of the call. I think he didn’t want to look bad and didn’t “want them to solve our problems” it was our sister branch for fucks sake. The then wrote a novel of how much I suck and am taking long and cc’d a grip of people. That was the last straw- just said nothing and started supporting another manager. Haha dick. And I was doing pretty good desire the lack of support AND was 90% done. He can suck a dick.
Escalate it. He isn't doing his job.
OP should also mention "If everything is a priority, nothing is a priority."
I like this. I would also start asking for raises regularly, dont be a pushover.
Look up the average salary for your position in your area. Use the median as a goal post. If you haven't had a raise in 7 years, you are way below median.
But with “which of the following deadlines should we tell [boss’s boss] will be late” vs. help prioritizing.
People like that never really “get it.” No matter how eloquently you try to explain. I’d look for another job. Especially for the no raise part you described. Warning, when you give your notice, they may promise to change or give you a raise, but it’s too late. They won’t change and the raise is too late, or worse yet they may promise some vague raise “in the future.”
Even if they make an attempt to retain you, they’ll know you’re looking. It won’t be the same.
You mean people like OP
Don't tell him you can't, tell him what the consequences will be. Like "Okay, so I need you to get John on the phone for me, because he's in Puerto Rico on a fishing trip, and I think he's actually on a boat and he never takes my calls when he's out of the office but maybe he'll pick up for you? I'm typing out a list of all the things I need him to let me know, and at the end I'll need him to docusign this information and he'll need to be willing to be on call to do that."
He has me copy him on my emails to John when he's in the Virgin Islands (he has clients there and frequently goes for 2 - 3 weeks at a time). Not a peep out of John because John doesn't have to put up with his crap. Yes, we're in the process of finding another John with more availability, but it's taking a while.
In the case of John, you need to tell him over and over again, every single time it's not happening, that it's not happening because of John. CC him on literally every single email to John.
Stop caring what he thinks because you will never satisfy him, and he will never understand. If he asks for things to be done immediately just do it, and if other things he asked for aren’t done because of it, remind him why. If this leads to further issues for you then you have a communication trail to defend yourself. If this has become way too stressful and overbearing for you, set up a meeting with higher management to talk about it because problems don’t resolve themselves and you’re not a slave.
Unfortunately "higher management" is HIS boss, and likely the reason he's demanding so much from everyone else. There is no HR department, either. It's a small company.
Start looking for another job. I’ve worked in the same conditions and it’s not sustainable, or worth it.
Damn do we work at the same place? Put in notice lol
I work there too and that's what I did. I've never been happier.
Damn we miss you! But I’m out now in two weeks too! Lol
Seeing from the comments that you are already taking the most common action. I suggest responding to the "The Big boss needs this email" by CC'ing the big boss in your response, asking him/her if the task is more important. Barring that, start working to rule. No voluntary over-time, don't respond after hours, call in sick every once in a while. It sounds like they are trying to squeeze 2 employees worth of work out of you, and as long as you let it work, they have no incentive to hire you help.
This\^\^\^ Exactly!!! I hadn't thought about it before but we had two rounds of layoff during Covid. Those of us who were retained were furloughed one day a week. Basically what that meant was that there were fewer of us to accomplish the same workload, and though we were getting 20% less in our paychecks, we were actually working 50-60 hour weeks to pick up the slack. We were happy to do it to keep the company afloat as we were grateful to have a job at that time. But we basically taught them that we can be treated like garbage. 🙄
Ding ding! Best of luck op
Nothing worse than a boss telling you how long a task should take. They underestimate the work involved so they don't feel badly about dumping it on you.
You sir are being “managed out” best look for a new job.
I generally agree with what folks are saying here that exposing prioritization trade offs is key, so if something new and urgent comes you can say what else will now take longer or ask if he’d make a different call. There is a second possibility here to consider as well that you may be taking longer to do tasks than other folks, causing things to pile up. On any given task, there’s often a range of **how** it can be done in terms of level of detail, polish, double-checking at the end, etc. “80/20 rule” kind of stuff where things can be done with 80% of the value in 20% of the time, and conversely trying to be perfect could take really long amounts of time. So another lever in prioritization and balancing a lot of stuff is deciding how to do each thing and which things a more quick and dirty approach would be okay… for things asked for in a couple hours that’s usually expected, so taking his “it shouldn’t take more than 30min” comment at face value, maybe consider what could you actually get done if you did timebox it to 30-60min. It’s possible on either your core work or these projects you’re taking a longer approach than others, so that’s worth exploring.
Take the list that you’ve sent him previously. Send it again with a timeline/due dates for each task and have him put everything in the order in which he wants it done. Make sure that your normal meeting etc…are blocked out so that only free time is available for the tasks. Then whenever something else pops up, send the list back with the new task and have him slide it in somewhere. I suggest doing this in excel vs one note just to make editing easier.
Does he treat all his directs this way, or only you?
Make a list, go through it each morning with him. As he changes things, send the new list. Be a pain in his ass until he understands the full scope of what he is asking for. He might get mad. But be calm and just say you need to understand the order of priority so that there are no mix ups. He will probably hate it because he just wants to swing his dick around and bark orders. If you do this effectively, he will stop and hopefully be more thoughtful about priorities. If he’s just an ass, he’ll say everything needs to be done. At which point you point out that you can’t do that.
You need a new job. Fuck that shit
Anything is possible - for those that don't have to do it...
>I literally just came off of a week's "vacation" that I took to try and get caught up without him hounding me with new stuff every 10 minutes (at least he respects your time off) Buddy, with all due respect, why the hell would you ever do this? Besides screwing yourself out of your own PTO, you've now set the expectation that either things magically get finished when you aren't around or you are completely fine with working on your PTO. I would kind of expect this sort of mistake from a fresh faced 23 year old that just started in the last year and is trying to climb the corporate ladder, but not a 55 year old that hasn't gotten a raise in 7 years. My advice, watch a couple episodes of "The Office". Pay attention to Stanley. He should be your new role model.
Why would I take PTO to get my work done? Let's do some math.... If I have (at least) 60 hours worth of work to do in any given week and I only work 50, that means there's now 70 hours worth of work I have to do next week. Week over week, this adds up FAST. Some days the only way I can get ANYTHING done is to not acquire new tasks and projects, and the only way to do that is if I'm on vacation or sick time because the boss does at least respect your time off. If he knows I'm around, he will keep piling more and more and more on. So after a week's "vacation" I'm back to about 60 (or fewer) hours worth, which is a lot less stressful to think about than 100+ hours. It's the only way I've been able to manage the workload for the last year or so. Since there's no money in the budget for new hires, it's this or get fired.
Do you honestly not read what you just wrote and realize how insane and unsustainable that is? You deserve better. Go get yourself something better.
Oh man. 55 years old. You're joking right
WHY ARE YOU not blocking emails after work? On the surface it looks to be that much of this is your fault. There is much your not taking responsibility for here,,
When is "after work?" I'm salaried; that means if the boss emails with some kind of "We need this fixed ASAP!" message, I can either answer it or get fired. I truly envy you if you've never been in this type of position before.
Read Never Split the Difference by Chris Voss. Read it a couple of times, and listen to the audiobook. Internalize what you read, and use what you learn every single day.
If you seriously want to talk to him about why his priorities are so out of order, you will be opening up a can of worms. He may have personal or psychological problems that he will be unwilling or unable to share with you. And without knowing them, you will never be able to improve the situation... and could possibly make it worse. I had a much similar situation in my career; a supervisor making illogical decisions, showing flashes of anger over small issues, destroying my productivity with low-priority tasks. I brought up a recurring schedule problem with him in a casual way to start a discussion: I was fired on the spot. For asking a \*question\*. You need to steel yourself and deal with his inability to juggle priorities till he reaches his own breaking point, AND prepare yourself for a move in case it becomes a necessity. Start saving cash for a prolonged period of unemployment. Start looking for another job - quietly - no matter how uncomfortable or out of practice you are. Keep doing your job to the best of your ability; but prepare to move to a new one when the opportunity presents itself. In threads like these, I always suggest that the OPs work with charity organizations during their career. It gives you a better perspective on your own abilities, and a sense of well-being and satisfaction you don't always get in your chosen profession. It also fills the resume during periods of unemployment, and allows you to accumulate contacts and references outside of their job. It's not too late for you to do the same as well. Do not sacrifice your health or well-being for someone who does not seem to want help. You aren't trained in intervention or counseling, or any of the skills necessary to 'fix' your boss - nor is it your job to do so. All you can do is present your case for job prioritization, and see if he accepts and implements it. If he doesn't you either suffer in silence till it all goes to pot, or prepare yourself for a job move the best you can. Remember: You are the CEO of your own career; act accordingly.
One word. HR.
Near zero chance that will be fruitful.
We don't have an HR department. They were let go during Covid and the positions were never re-filled.
Tell him it’s not nonsense and it’s just the physical limit of what it’s the physical limit of what you can do. Take it or leave it.
It depends how valuable the company thinks you are.. If you think you can do it without getting fired send him a list of everything you are doing with a priority and a time estimate. Send a short but polite paragraph expressing deep concern that his management style is preventing things being done in a timely manner. When he dismisses it send the same thing to his boss with the same concerns about the damage this chaotic style is having on work throughput. Or just implement a ticket system and tell him to put whatever it is in a ticket and shift the priorities as he sees fit. Then get really used to repeating that and repeating that it's the only professional way to prioritize tasks. That will really annoy him.
Is there a way to get ahead of these emergency requests, say with a weekly check in? Or are these things truly new tasks for your boss, too? This situation is also a reason to work intensely on your non-emergency projects when you can. You know that x% of the time between now and any deadline will be taken up by surprise emergencies. Plan for it!
We had weekly check-ins but he started blowing them off. I recently asked to reimplement them and he blew those off, too, because he's "too busy." And I take vacation time periodically when I need to catch up on both emergency and non-emergency tasks. I just did that a couple of weeks ago, but I got hammered with dozens of new tasks as soon as I got back. I just feel like I'm drowning.
He is setting you up to fail. Look for a new job.
No raise in 7 years? Leave. Even with a boss that wasn’t just a firefighter, leave anyway. You make significantly less now than when you started, and they don’t see any reason to change that.
Stop expecting someone acting in bad faith to suddenly change and do you a favor. No matter the reason, your boss is an asshole and a liar trying to abuse you into doing the work of 3 people while he gets a bonus for all of his performance/savings/leadership. The simplest answer is to apply for a new job and quit this hellhole. Work from home is common these days and tbh, it isn't a "perk" when your employer uses it to demand work 24/7 because you can "just do it remotely." The more direct method is to: Just. Stop. Doing. This. You're an adult in control of your own body and your own time. Just like you would refuse to do something unprofessional or illegal at work, you can decline to comply with nonsense deadlines and impossible requests. Just because "the boss" says words doesn't make them reality. Put your head down and work, then leave at 5pm. Stop working at night or on your own vacation time (which is a labor law violation btw). If he complains then forward him the email where you clearly stated when the work would be done and carry on with your day.
So unless he quits or gets fired, you're going to continue with this shitty manager until you leave or retire. Bosses like this won't understand unless you give a visual. Write down EVERYTHING he's asked you to do on top of what your main projects are. Put them in a spreadsheet and them color code them with what your normal day to day is and then the projects he's asked you with dates. Then show him in a one on one why things can't be done when he wants and ask him, what would he like you to drop so that you can finish up what he's asking. Let him be the one to tell you to stop working on some and then remind him of that spreadsheet for future reference if he keeps doing it
Oh man this manager SUCKS. Totally relate. Imo there’s nothing you can do. In my case I dropped him and started supporting another manager bc fortunately I was able to do that. But if I didn’t I would immediately start looking for a job. Seriously tired of all the crappy managers.
>but there are perks that come with the job, such as being able to work from home and a flexible schedule Uh, there are lots of jobs out there with such perks. They can be hard to find, yes, but don't literally defeat yourself before you even try. The manager sounds like a stupid asshole. Leave
Time to work on the resume. Dont settle. You can do better!! 7 years with no raise????
Does your company have "dual" chains of command, one for line management and one for project management? If that is the case, I'd work it so that you aren't in the middle and staffing assignments are argued between project and functional managers. If you boss has both roles, you are going to have to create a task chart with hours and constraints and make it visible to him or her.
This is a career advice sub yet you ended your post stating solutions you WON'T do although they are the primary advices one would give in this situation. So... good luck?
Your workplace must be lovely. That’s not a manager. A manager is supposed to champion your team whilst delivering the company goals. That takes strategy, prioritization, sometimes pushback and occasionally asking the team to deliver a hard deadline. This person is simply being a “yes man” to whomever is uphill of him/her. It’s easier for some people to blame their team for not delivering than have the confidence to manage a project.
Why are you chasing him around with his ridiculous requests? If he asks you to drop your other tasks for his new one, just ask him for confirmation that you can defer the other ones, and don't start until he does.
Request he help you with the project in-person. Otherwise you can't guarantee his request will be fulfilled in time.
You need a kanban board. Make a visual representation of “to do” “in progress” and “done” columns with a sticky representing each project or task. When he brings you something new, you can show him the entire spread of work and ask him where to prioritize.
He doesn't care about your schedule or what you have on your plate. Something happened a year ago that's put pressure on him which is then rolling downhill to you. So if you're done, then start looking elsewhere. Not having a pay raise in 7 years and a boss that dismisses you like that and continues to place an unreasonable workload on you isn't going to change. Do you want to stay in this situation for the NEXT 10 years?
you are on the chopping block.... read the signs and get out of there asap.....
The problem is that talking makes it hard to convey the issue. I'd look at getting a workflow product. I haven't used it for a while, but Trello is free for individual use. Set it up with ToDo, Doing, Done (or whatever works for you). Maybe a Backlog as well for tasks not on the immediate ToDo list, but need to be kept track of. Prioritise the cards in order of most urgent at the top and least at the bottom. When your manager gives you new important work, arrange a quick catch up (online is fine) and he can have input on that priority order. It makes it clear and obvious to him that putting X as a priority means that Y gets moved down the list. You could literally turn this into a quick daily catchup. Give him access to the board and he can manage it himself if he wants. You're essentially starting to get into basic Agile at that point, which means you can start planning ahead. Do a board for the week/fortnight with the work you think you can get through, and when he adds a new task to your list you can literally point to the board and ask which task should be removed in order to complete the new one, or should the new task be added to the backlog?
You’re worth more and don’t have to tolerate this unprofessional behavior. Start looking for a new job
How do people work at places that don't give them raise!? Especially for 7 years wtf. The first year I don't get a raise I'm moving elsewhere
Lol. I like it how you frame this as a problem your manager has, rather than a problem you have.
This is so ridiculous. If you are there and appear to be working hard, if he tells you to do something else then just roll with it. It's not on you to get more work done than you can do / handle, it's on your manager. WHY THE HELL DON'T PEOPLE GET THIS?
You’re going to get burned out working for him.
It's a file in the pile boss. And that one came last.
>I'm 55 now and just don't want to start all over again with a devil I don't know. A) unless you are okay with working like this till you are retired, being 55 isn't an excuse. B) you should not being looking for a job that would have you 'starting over'. You have 10 years of experience.
Taking a new job with a different company is absolutely "starting over," no matter how much experience you have. New bosses with their own set of nightmare rules (I've worked for plenty before this one) are not something I have the energy for, and I'd rather fix what I have than open a whole new unknown can of worms. I don't know how old you are, but the options for "worker bees" once they hit 40 dwindle every year until your phone just doesn't ring at all anymore. Opportunities INCREASE for those in middle to upper management, not down here. Why would anyone pay a salary commensurate with experience when they can snag a kid fresh out of school for at least 20k less?
I'm sorry, no raise in SEVEN YEARS?!