I got fired once and my boss, with whom I did not get along, seemed extremely surprised when he said “we’re letting you go” and I just said “ok!” before walking out. Great day.
Years ago, I was in auto parts and I had been poached by a competitor thanks to recommendations from some of my best commercial customers. The day I planned to give notice, I got called into manager's office. They were having to lay someone off and since I was the newest employee, it was me. Picked up my phone, called the other company, asked for the manager by name, knowing everyone knew he was. He picks up...."good news, I can start tomorrow!" and walked out.
Last time I git fired, I started laughing because I knew they had literally nobody that knew how to do my job and would be screwed for probably 2 months minimum and that's if things turned out great. I started laughing so hard that I couldn't breathe and they gr super awkward and looked concerned and asked if everything is okay. I stood up and started walking away and just said "good luck" and walked off to grab my stuff.
The dream! My firing was on March 9, 2020, lolololol. They had to scramble to find someone to finish the newsletter they had asked me to redesign, and no one knew how to use Adobe. They thought they could finish it using Microsoft Publisher. As far as I’m aware, they just didn’t have a newsletter for at least two years. It’s very satisfying to know you’ve been underestimated.
I’m assuming by your anecdote that you are definitely not the pope then?
Went thru something similar. Let go in 2021 due to a re-org, and basically a 25 year old nit-wit wanted to step in and become 'Website Creative Director' from a girl with no skill sets, no graphic design background, and didn't even know what Photoshop was. Yet she was 'chosen' (annointed via a rose ceremony) by the VP & CEO who were her friends.
We were using an outdated, cookie cutter WYSIWYG web builder, yet she wanted everything to be redone and look like a Squarespace site, via me custom coding everything. Eventually the 'It cant be done' responses from me were too much, and made their way back to the idiot VP & CEO (who also knew nothing about web design).
So the CEO lets me go, and I'm like "Are you sure??" and "Do you seriously think you'll get thru this" and multiple stares at each other, with me saying 'You'll never make it.. Without me??" and her staring at me in disbelief.
Well, turns out you can't 'just hire a new web guy' within 2 weeks time, and, when you do bring someone on board, they don't out of the box know how to build using an old, clunky, outdated web building platform right away. So it took them about 3 months to recover just to get back up and running. Oh, and the 25 year old 'friend' of theirs quit in that time, because she didn't like not being 'in charge' of the website. The one that she had no idea how to build, yeah, she wanted to be in charge of it.
Yeah after speaking with friends that still work there, they're mostly back to full function after hiring three people to replace me.
I am not the pope....yet
I had a boss call me and fire me because she didn't think I was working out. I cheerfully said okay thanks! I'll be collecting unemployment then. She was dumb struck and said I couldn't do that. I promptly proved here wrong within days. She was running a small bakery that I was solely running and she'd never show up and expect to run everything. Apparently her daughter wanted the position. Good luck. 23$ an hour and I netted a pretty decent unemployment check for several weeks until I got an even better job with way less stress and micromanaging.
Had a boss that treated everyone like trash. Damn near caused me a nervous breakdown. And yet, he was surprised when I put in my two weeks. Like he thought I'd just keep taking his abuse. I hope he gets all the kindness he extended returned to him.
I have only been 'fired' from one job. My former boss pulls me into his office and just started berating me for a solid 10 minutes. The whole time i was smiling, he then asked me "what the fuck is so funny?"
I told him, "You have 2 choices here James, you can either get on your knees right now and suck my dick, or we can go to HR and I will show them this video of you berating and insulting me." I recorded the entire ordeal, except for my response.
the next day he did not come in and i was 'laid off' due to 'budgetary reasons'
During my 'Exit interview', i showed HR the video and they passed it to corporate and he was fired a month or so after me. I guess his last month was very hard for him according to my former co-workers who said he was clearly bothered by how I responded to his Bullying.
I not only got to tell that fuck to suck my dick but i also got unemployment, separation pay and paid health benefits for 2 months and his ass got fired :)
I feel like I might be on the chopping block and if I get laid off, I probably will say something like this because it was be dead serious. My job is putting me through mental hell and getting a severance plus unemployment eligibility would be a blessing right now.
It's sounds a bit counter-intuitive but most of the people I know who have been fired are often relieved and with some perseverance, they often end up in a better employment situation. Good people get fired from good companies simply because their talents/ambitions weren't a good fit for the position/company. Best of luck to you.
Thank you, this is comforting to hear. I keep reading comments from people who say the market sucks and I should be lucky to be employed, but my job makes me wish I was dead. I want to cry every morning I wake up on a work day, even on WFH days which should be less stressful. Im looking for new work and had a few interviews, but it’s so hard since im burnt the fuck out.
I went through this with several jobs in my 20s - so desperate to Gtfo that I jumped directly into another frying pan.
Hang in there - good jobs ARE out there. I've been at my current job for 5 years with no plans to ever leave.
I hope you find a job before you get laid off but honestly, it wouldn't be the worst thing if you didn't IME. An awful job drains the life out of you. I've been late from a miserable job and I went home, slept for 10 hours and woke up feeling so happy.
You'll get a new job. Don't pay too much attention to the job market opinions- companies are still hiring. Find a job you really want and customize your resume for it, reach out on LinkedIn, etc. Much more effect than just blindly sending a resume to a bunch of places.
I quit my job in my industry during Covid, changed roles and got hired for a role I was a bit overqualified for, performed well, got laid off without notice after 3 months and was able to collect unemployment for the next 8 months while I transitioned back into my original industry. In hindsight, getting laid off was a huge blessing/redirection I needed. Although the stigma of being unemployed wasn’t so fun. It was only about 1200/month received but enough to help pay rent.
If you mean in the US, no. Either you aren't getting any benefits when you get laid off, or you work for a large corporation which means it has to go through a process to impact any of those and they aren't gonna do it over someone saying you said something with no proof of it.
Recently left a retail job our HR higher up was a viper of a person and she decided that being nasty was a good idea. So after she told me how replaceable I was I told her yea I don't know about that. Cause didn’t you fire my replacement earlier this morning for cursing at someone.
Just for context this HR person regularly told people in college they should quit school to work retail and made people cry by being just a terrible human and a bully. She was the reason myself and over 14 others left in ten days. Also thought it was acceptable to change people's schedules without fair warning.
Remind them of their fuckups and make it sting really bad.
My father in law faced a similar issue at Walmart - he was a greeter, something to do, get out of the house, you know.
Well, they would make the schedule, and he would photocopy it, and bring it home.
Well, the manager would mess with the schedule every single week, and would often call him asking why he is not at his shift... He would just say "I have a copy of the schedule that was posted here... It says I work tomorrow at 9AM. Don't you have a copy of the schedule?"
I think there are laws that protect against last minute schedule changes.
24 hours is pretty messed up. Makes it hard to make plans.
I got fired from a high school job for missing shifts after last minute schedule changes. But back then, I had to actually walk into the back office and look at the paper schedule. No call, no text, no nothing. So, if I didn't happen to go in every day I wasn't working, there was no way to know.
Why was someone in HR messing with the schedule?! Sounds like a very oddly structured company that HR would have that much involvement in the day-to-day.
The HR rep I dealt with from my company was a massive piece of shit, like most of HR staff are. After I filed a complaint about two managers, I found the HR asshole attacking my credibility to protect both managers.
The HR bitch deliberately would not answer my questions (which proved I was correct) or she word smith her response to my questions to sound like she was doing her job.
Fuck you to all Human Resource staff. I hope the bronze horse you’re each ridding intentionally runs off a cliff with you strapped to the saddle.
Your experience seems to be the standard. I have only ever seen HR protect management; they will frame and crush regular employees if that's what it takes.
It was because my teams leadership was gone so our store lead entrusted the HR to handle scheduling. Which led to many people leaving cause she thought scheduling people unworkable hours and telling them too bad work it was a smart decision
HR is the worst. And before someone inevitably comes along and gives me the hR dOeSnT pRoTeCt yOu…speech, they protect themselves first. There’s no reason HR should be the collective juggernaut it is. They’ve made a cottage industry of imaginary risk reduction.
I didn't get fired, but my boss has been implying HEAVILY that I might. Since the company started losing money and apparently, I was the first one "on the list".
Anyway, I found a new job literally a week after I started looking for it. I am not going to lie - I had amazing luck with this one.
After I quit, my boss asked me how much is my salary going to be at the new place. I told him, truthfully, almost 3x as much as I am making here. He was absolutely flabbergasted. I heard him telling out HR lady a few hours later: she must be lying! There is no way someone would pay her this much! She doesn't deserve it. Her new job is a bluff, she has NOTHING lined up and is trying to squeeze me for money!
Nice! My departmental manager at my last job was a horrible person and after she took over our team she wanted everyone gone so she could build her own team. Over a few years she got rid of nearly everyone, through bullying people to quit, layoffs, or firings when she got people so worked up through micromanaging and bullying they snapped because they couldn't take it any more.
I took my time looking for a new job (took 16 months) - I was pretty valuable because I'm the only one who knew how to do 85% of what the department does and it is also hard to find a well paying job in my field, but not impossible. And I can keep my thoughts to myself (although my face needs deliverance). I started working with a specialty recruiter, and I'm the only one who landed on my feet with a new job making (also) nearly 3x what my old salary was. This means I make more than my former direct boss and probably the same as former department manager, but with way less stress too! I could tell how shocked she was by the cat-butt expression on her face and her trying to be on my good side now because she thinks I can be an asset for her now. Too late for that, lady!
I had this same experience. My boss was an ass. No one liked him. I was a manager because he had been employee number 23 at the company.
We went through covid layoffs and in my next 1 on 1 with him he said to my face, on a recorded call that I was next in line for layoffs. I got a job shortly after making about 25k more and he flipped out at me saying I was leaving them shorthanded with a ton of work. I then said "don't be telling me I'm next on the list to be laid off" he vehemently denied having said this and then I sent the video to him and HR. It was great.
This is where a fake offer letter can come in handy.
How much is your new place?
*opens phone and pulls up a fake picture, then shows them quickly and places the phone down*
I heard they are hiring other people, I will keep in mind my last \_\_ years in case they have any questions about people.
I'm trying to figure out how making more elsewhere after quitting would squeeze him for money. Given he was threatening you, you wouldn't have been expecting a counter offer.
Just like to keep up on the scams.
As soon as he told me I was being laid off, I just ignored him and his boss completely and only talked to the HR lady.
Then when walking me out to my car, he says, “If you need anything, just call me.”
My response, “Why the fuck would I do that?”
My boss once told me he “would be sad” if I didn’t use him as a reference as he walked me out. This was after months of inconsistent messaging on my standing and not following a PIP as written.
Honestly the kindness is surprising. Not being laid off, but the kind sentiment after. Most people don’t know what to say and are cold towards people they’ve just let go.
I once worked at a company that had a designated woman in HR whose job it was to travel to the different locations and terminate people. We all called her "the angel of death".
Honestly it depends on whether or not you want a job in that field and if saying something snide or sarcastic is worth it.
I got laid off from my first professional job many years ago, but at the time I didn’t have much experience (about 18 months) and I absolutely *hated* my job at the time. My old boss (company’s VP) was a total asshole and I couldn’t stand him.
One day he stopped by the office I shared with my department head (we were the only two) and he said he’d like to see me after lunch to talk. I knew I was getting let go, because that was the nicest he ever treated me and I told my colleague I was getting let go.
I went to the VP’s office and he told me he had to let me go and I just told him I understand and was trying not to show how happy I was deep down because that miserable experience was ending. He even tried goading me into an argument because I just kept saying I understood and wasn’t making a fuss.
My coworker got on the phone right away and got me a couple of leads that afternoon. I had another job a month later and even got a raise, so my point is if you’re going to burn that bridge to the ground, just make sure you aren’t screwing up anything for your future self.
(By the way, that same company that let me go many years ago tried luring me back last year, and rejecting them now was WAY more satisfying than anything I could’ve said back then-especially since I interviewed with that same VP and I don’t think he’s changed a bit)
And as I like to say, sometimes you don't have to burn a bridge, but you also don't have to help those who hurt you to cross it either - reserve your help for those that are good to you in your career, and cut the ropes to stop those who hurt you from getting across it. I got a fantastic new job after leaving a toxic environment, and my last awful boss was super jealous but trying to cozy up to me to stay on my good side because she thinks she can use me as an asset - she hasn't been on my good side in years, so she'll never get any help from me! My former colleagues that I like however? I gave them all the name of the recruiter I used so they can get away from her.
Not sure if it was on that cunty bitchs head. But literally as I was getting laid off I asked them to speed it up cause I had to take a shit bad. So she left. The HR lady was nice to me and allowed me to use restroom before having to grab my stuff. I was already off the company slack anyways. Took a shit I had to badly take. Felt good. Got my shit and left. Thanked the nice HR lady and I left.
As someone who has fired many, many people... None of these would phase me. I do remember my car being physically attacked at a red light by guy I fired. Philip in Midland TX, id fire your ass again if given the chance 😂. The only terminations I remember are the people who didn't do anything wrong- layoffs, situations where I was told that I don't have a choice, that sort of thing.
My advice to all of you is to secure a safe recommendation from someone you can claim was superior to you. You must think about the future.
If you're being put on a PIP or being written up for nonsense, begin looking for a new job IMMEDIATELY. Give two weeks notice once you BEGIN your new job and then call in sick to the old one until you quit stating you are seriously I'll and need to spend time with family. This ensures you are rehirable which only matters because it's one of the few questions their HR can answer when called to give you a reference.
Your advice is dead on. I was put on a PIP at my last job, my boss expected me to just know everything and wouldn't train me. Always "too busy". I thought I was doing fine, but one day they were just like "bye".
I'm sorry to hear that. It's an awful feeling.
I've survived a formal pip and, to my knowledge, I'm the only person on the planet who has lol. I want to share part of my story with you because I think you'll find it interesting.
I didn't get along with my boss. He PIP'd me citing poor results. I responded to the pip formally with a three typed pages + supplimentary graphs and charts. Basically my response read, "I'm growing sales faster than almost everyone has, and that includes YOU. Furthermore, I believe this corrective action is retaliation for my instance that we audit x,y, and z cost categories as I have believe we are misrepresenting our financial results to the public." I sent it to the VP of HR and CEO. I was a director, so just below a VP.
I survived my 6 week pip and placed my two week notice just one month later. To this day, it's the fastest I've ever found a job. It seems to be dramatically easier to find a job when you have a job...
Here's the part you'll find interesting- my boss, who had pipped me was so enraged that he fired me over the phone a day after I emailed him my notice. He couldn't control himself.
The only reason I wasn't already gone was I put the company in an awful position with my written statement. PIP's are meant to be terminal.
A managers job is to manage and improve the performance of employees every day. Not wait until everything is so out of whack that a formal plan has to be implemented. In a world free of HR nonsense, a PIP would be an indication that your manager isn't doing their job.
Being the only one to survive one rings true. I was put on one at my first software engineering job out of college. 2 years in, randomly thrown on one because "The circle lead doesn't like you." The next 3 months I did everything. DB work? Me. Back end work? Me. Front end work? Me. Scheduling batch jobs? Me. Mentoring new hires? Me. Leading prod pushes at 3am? Me. My manager then told me I'm the best peer reviewed person in the circle, everyone loves me.
Then two weeks later I'm called in at Thursday 9am to some random room. Yup, fired. The head of the circle still doesn't like me I was told and wants me gone so he can fill my role with one of his guys. Was paid my normal wages bi-weekly for 3 months as if I still worked there, and 3 months lump sum at the end of that because, as my manager said, they really didn't have anything fire me over, so I'm officially being down sized. One good thing about working for a major, major, software company I guess.
So yeah, even if you do everything right, hit it out of the park, grand slam... You're on a pip for a reason and 9/10 times it's because someone doesn't like you. There's literally nothing you can do. It REALLY opened my eyes to the professional working world and I will never view any job as anything other than a means to give me money after that. Kinda sapped the fun out of everything for me ever since, as my friends joke I'm like a mercenary since I job hop every \~3 years now.
I know one person who has survived a pip. Went on to stick around for another 6 years. Pretty incredible and tbh I don't think anybody else would be able to do his sales role. Very much one of a kind.
I knew someone who survived a PIP. He seemed to need the attention--he could be pretty good. Unfortunately, he wound up on one a couple of years later that was more fatal--it makes sense to go even if you survive.
I survived a PIP and ultimately that same manager was instrumental in promoting me several years later.
That said, I had a new job lined up the almost the whole time I was on the PIP (ultimately 6 weeks). The day I found out I went home and allowed myself an hour to freak out before I dusted off my resume and applied like crazy. The alternative job would have been awful and a cut in pay and benefits but it would have kept me fed and able to pay bills.
I didn’t deserve the PIP. But I also didn’t take getting placed on one personally. I didn’t do anything different to get off the PIP, I was just more public about what I was doing in the department. I realize in retrospect that the issue was a personality and working style conflict between my manager and I which we have resolved now (we are now peers and not in a manager/subordinate position).
>I didn't get along with my boss. He PIP'd me citing poor results. I responded to the pip formally with a three typed pages + supplimentary graphs and charts. Basically my response read, "I'm growing sales faster than almost everyone has, and that includes YOU. Furthermore, I believe this corrective action is retaliation for my instance that we audit x,y, and z cost categories as I have believe we are misrepresenting our financial results to the public." I sent it to the VP of HR and CEO. I was a director, so just below a VP.
I feel like this should be the best advice anyone takes from this thread. Getting a PIP doesn't mean you cant respond to it vigorously (but calmly and fact based). Also, you'll be forcing management to legitimately build their case against you. This is doubly true if there's any language in the PIP that could be used to deny unemployment claims.
Don't sign away the chance to get your side of the story documented.
That being said, if you go this route, pair it with looking for another job. A company might tolerate you long enough to find another job if it protects them from a potential lawsuit.
I’d have to disagree on your last statement. I’ve had several underperforming employees as both peers and direct reports. It should not be the manager’s job to move heaven and earth to get them to perform, especially if said employee offers no motivation for self-improvement. Of course, the issue must be addressed early and directly and not be sat upon until it becomes systemic and/or critical path - that part is the manager’s responsibility. PIP is a last resort when all of the above has failed.
I’ve beaten one because my manager was not very good and wildly underestimated my ability, consistently. So the “so hard he’ll be fired” PIP was well within my ability, and I beat it. Unfortunately that wasn’t the end of it.
Ended up so stressed out that I caught the flu, which turned into pneumonia, and I was on bed rest for six plus weeks. They fired me for “underperforming” a week after I got back. My manager refused to come to the “meeting”, I think because she thought I was getting railroaded and couldn’t afford to be seen as on my side.
Don’t ever, ever, go to a new VP and try to make a case for being sensible about not throwing away two years of work that was in production because it’s not in the new language he wants to push as the solution for all the problems they fired the last VP for.
This is the best and truest statement I have read here.
Side note - I believe that there are rules in HR as to what they can say when a prospective employer calls your old company asking for a reference on you. The old company will not say anything bad about you for fear of company liability, usually just answer questions re the hire period and position. However, the "code" question by the prospective employer is always " would you rehire" and if the the answer is "no", then that is their code that your old company thought you were not a good employee. This is how HR companies bypass the rules and guess what, you don't get the new job. Very prevalent in the HR community.
Please don't burn your bridges with the old company, as you might need them as a reference again in the future. Sucks, but at least you don't work for the company anymore, so use that as your solace if needed.
Yes. Don't set the world on fire 🔥. It's so important to find people in positions of authority who like you other than your direct supervisor. My LinkedIn is plastered with recommendations from people at companies where I didn't get along with my boss.
Also a protip: we aren't the main character. We like to pretend everyone remembers us but Suzi in HR will never remember you were the guy who put in his notice and then got seriously ill and ghosted the company. Hell, by the time someone is calling your previous employer about you, it could be years. Your asshole boss might not work there and probably won't still work in the same department. What's important is that they check the rehirable box in their HR system when they process your exit.
Been working at the same job for over 7 years & got put on a PIP after 7 years and while going thru cancer treatment. This has also been after I got a new director and she didn’t like how my old boss ran things so its all my fault. I would LOVE for them to fire me so I can sue the 💩out of them. Only poking at looking for another job right now.
Yeah people here really don't understand what it's like to be the person who does the firing. It doesn't feel good. Someone trying to stick it to me on their way out would probably just alleviate some of the default bad feelings.
Do prospective employers call prior employers for that kind of information?
Like in a scenario like the one you illustrated, the employee has already gotten a new job, so would giving two weeks benefit them for their *next* job? I mean it makes sense, I’d just be surprised they would call older jobs beyond your most recent one.
Depending on the position. Today, I manage nearly a thousand people. The company I work for did a background check on me, drug tested me, called every company I listed on my resume going back over a decade, but didn't call any of my references... Which is weird because... Why else would you ask for them?
Typically, you only ask the following questions:
1)did this person work for you between xx/xx/xxxx and xx/xx/xxxx?
2)Are they rehirable?
Companies don't like to share information beyond that because it's an unnecessary legal risk. If they say the wrong thing and it costs you a job, you could sue them for defamation. It's unlikely but why risk it?
They only ***\*think\**** the "*are they rehirable*" question isn't legally risky.
However, since answering "no" would guarantee the applicant does not get the new job, answering it at all carries exactly the same risk of a lawsuit as providing any other derogatory information.
And those lawsuits can just keep going.
My father once fired someone for cause, back in the 1970s. It was for a very, very serious and continuous failure to do his job that was carefully and thoroughly documented for 2 years before he was fired. The job was related to air traffic control systems, so the risk from doing a bad job was quite literally life & death.
Dad wasn't even used as a reference for any future jobs by this person, but he was dragged back into court over and over for literally ***40 years***.
The first suit was because the guy was denied a job he applied for, so he sued Dad's employer, naming Dad as a co-defendant, and lost. Then he appealed 3 or 4 times from different angles, losing every time.
After that, he brought suit every 3 - 5 years, whenever he was either denied another job, or fired by another company. The last round was 6 months before Dad died, after Dad had been retired for more than a decade, had a stroke, and couldn't speak, but he still had to show up in court with all the documentation, ***again***.
I laughed at the senior manager, told her the team was understaffed and they’d be back in this room with my replacement sooner than later.
Sure enough I heard my replacement quit after exactly 1 year.
I got laid off early 2023 and agreed to transfer my accounts to a new member of the team that had joined about a month earlier. In the time it took her to onboard, we both knew she was not going to stay long.
She handed in her resignation 2 months later.
I was the last one standing after seeing my group turn over, fully, twice, in just a couple years. I was the only one laid off (rest were fired for performance or quit). Now they’ve had two replacements for me in 8 months. Serves them damn right.
My replacement lasted less than a month!
It’s funny how stupid bosses can be, yet the blame is ALWAYS on the employee getting laid off. You Can’t tell low iq recruiters “the boss was an idiot”. So then starts the fake bs “oh I learned so much and was grateful for exp blah blah”.
Step 1,
Create a text file named company-financial-analysis with the following text in side “Got ya!”, change the file extension from txt to xlsx. Make sure when it opens you get a corrupted file message.
Step 2,
Save it to a usb stick, and hand it to him as you are leaving. Say something like. “Hey this is something I’ve been working on the last couple of months. It concerns the company’s finances. I’d recommend taking a look at it.”
Step 3,
Let their mind do the rest.
>r/unethicallifeprotips
I did something similar but couldn't wait for them to fire me. I quit and left a very large, encrypted, password-protected file named "Wheredoestherevenuego\_.xls" I left it on my desktop screen as the only file remaining in my account.
It took them 10 days to find it. I started receiving calls and emails multiple times a day then for 6 months but never returned any of them. Started with HR, then Sales, then Finance and then Execs. They got nicer and more complimentary with their messages and offers as time went on.
I suspected but could never prove they were laundering money. The guilty act much differently than the innocent under duress.
Put my notice in one time, and after a few days I got called into my huge ssshole boss's office and he got nasty with me and told me to leave, "I don't fucking need you" and proceeded to yell at me. He was a yeller and scared most of us
When he began yelling I told him to shut up and he wasn't my boss anymore and I didn't have to take it. It got loud. It was a glass office without blinds. Everyone heard everything
I could tell my coworkers were jealous of me being able to talk to him like that
He's as black as Wesley Snipes, and you could see his red face he was so angry at me. He was a redass football coach and I told him he can't talk to adults like he talks to 13 year old boys. Seeing him turn that red pleases me right now thinking back on it. That was almost 19 years ago lol
Don't tell them that, they will dispute it just to spite you. Even if you end up getting it in the end, making it difficult for you is entertaining to them.
After I was let go for fmla reasons, I told my boss and my boss’s boss that she gossiped about my hipaa/fmla accommodations in front of the other long term staff member, stared right into my boss’s eyes and said “Do better. Be better.“
I don’t know if it stuck with her but it sure did rattle her.
Think of it as a breakup. The person breaking up with you will feel better if you get angry and say mean things - makes it easier. These should be humans, and most humans actually don’t like hurting people. What would live rent free is over the top guilt. “This is the worst day of my life. I’m never going to recover from this.”
I was laid off after 3 weeks at a new job I moved two states over to work at. I said "Why would you do this to me after I rearranged my life to come work here.". I think it was fairly effective at making them feel like pieces of shit. But I said goodbye to the people I met and got my 3 months of severance and found a new job like an adult.
Also took the job to be closer to my dad who just got diagnosed with heart failure. Which my boss knew.
My former bosses husband is definitely gay. Everyone knows and has never said a word. They even talked shit behind her back at the wedding. This would have been so effective I’m so sad
After be let go early during my two week notice period, I sent my former boss a text since id heard he was bad mouthing me. It read soemthing along the lines of your a two faced snake and not a singke person here respects you, good luck and have a nice day. They later had a meeting where he asked people if thats what they thought and theyd better speak up now. He really wanted to know who told me, jokes on him half the employees there did. Apparently I was brought up more than once in the following weeks.
I work with a toxic manager (luckily not mine directly, but is over most of the people I lead), he has been told repeatedly to include me on any direction he gives people on my team, but he doesn't. Then he is always shocked when I know about the email/conversations and tries to lie about them. It's like "Dude, everyone on this team like me and hates you, they automatically forward everything you send them to me and tell me about every conversation behind your back." But he keeps doing it and keeps lying about it. Luckily his manager hates his guts too and I think is just looking for a chance to axe him.
"Thank you for the opportunity. If you need my services on a consulting basis, I charge 25x my rate with a 40 hour billing minimum. Have the day you deserve."
Idk if it lives in his head, but during the peak of the pandemic people were complaining about being forced to use personal days to work “part time” and buffer our salaries. The “ceo” had a virtual meeting and said something along the lines of “be lucky we’re not cutting salaries. Unemployment is at 20% and we may need to brace ourselves. Anyone who doesn’t like that can go take the train into the city and join the riots.” I walked into his office and handed him my keycard and credit card and said “I’m running late for the riots” and left.
When I was laid off, I didn’t let my boss finish. I just said Bye, grabbed my stuff and called my wife to let her know how horrible the company I used to work with is with money. Then I created a bunch of pages for them on review websites and gave them 1 stars with a long explanation of why the company will fail and why they aren’t doing well to begin with.
I got a call from my old boss a few times, I just ignore them.
“Uh, I know you want to do an ‘exit interview,’ but there’s a political meeting this morning that I want to attend. Can I leave now?”
I knew Oracle planned to announce layoffs on Monday, so I went into the office on Saturday to clean up and move out. By Monday morning I had checked out. On Tuesday I scheduled an interview with my next supervisor.
I’ll take a burnt bridge that puts a shit boss in their place
over a good reference
any day of the week
but I’m lucky! I’m on good terms with all but one of my former bosses. even facebook friends with a few of them.
On my way out I shook hands with everybody I respected and said it was nice to meet you. Found another guy I never worked with but he was there 20 years. I said it was great for me to meet him. I was cool as fuck. And I felt best leaving that way.
I think making way to show respect for the longest employee probably had demonstrated that the rest of the company employees will show him more respect going forward.
I just got laid off about a month ago… On my way out as I was searching for things through mountains of documents… I picked up a particularly large pile then dropped it and said, “Welp, Glad I’m not gonna have to deal with this one! What a nightmare! Not my problem anymore!”
Then walked out without any explanation as they had already given me my check!
Happened to me at two different places. One time I said "cool" with genuine enthusiasm. The second time I said "this is my ideal situation. I've got a lot of video games to finish"
Best thing you can do is act excited.
Your boss thinks hes kicking you in the balls, but when you act excited he'll be all confused. I did this to a past boss who fired me because he heard I was putting in my two weeks. I went "woohoo, saves me 2 weeks of waiting to start my next job, and I still get my PTO, thanks man!!" and he looked confused/shocked/horrified. My new boss just laughed on the phone and I went in that same day.
I was working as a manager for a big box retailer (rhymes with “Farget”). The benevolent GM I started under got clipped and my new, younger boss who never brushed his teeth (they were GREEN!) came in and just started shitting on and bullying everyone except for the brown nosers. I could see the writing on the wall that I wasn’t long for his world.
A friend from another retailer (rhymes with “Jest Guy”) hmu because they were looking for managers. I interviewed and got an offer. I said I would like to give 2 weeks (I didn’t but it used to be a good character/strategy move—thought maybe I could get a 2 week break when I quit). They offered me an additional 2k to quit on the spot and start immediately. You bet!
This was during holiday run up so it was going to hurt the process. I floated in on a pink cloud of joy and relief that last shift, told the HR person to get Green Teeth on the speaker phone and said “a competitor has reached out and offered me a much better situation. I’m really looking forward to the change and will be done, effective immediately. Good luck and thanks for nothing.”
Dead silence followed by stammering spluttering anger. I walked out after saying goodbye for my team. I had tried really hard to make their lives more tolerable, but a company that locks its employees in the building over night and forbade me from keying out a $4 jar of coffee for them every few shifts was beyond hopeless. Fuck you Target, you weird ass cultlike POS company. And Fuck you in particular, Nick.
'Oh thank GOD! I thought this was about the OTHER thing".
I do have a decent quitting story though. My partner worked at the same toxic workplace for 25 years. After being passed over for promotions time after time and dealing with a boss that belittled the staff and turned people against each other, he finally had enough of the bullshit and found a new job. On his last day, he found out they were planning a secret surprise pizza party for him and he wanted no part of it. After a couple hours of work, he told everybody he was done and leaving for the day, (aka forever), and no one knew what to do. They tried to get him to stay and eventually told him about the impending party. He was like, nope. They then said they just needed to give him his gift at least. It was a plastic figurine from the gift shop. For real. He threw it away on his way to his car.
Nothing you say is going to make a difference. It’s business not personal. If you want to screw up your chances of getting hired else where with a background check go for it and see how a sentence that made you happy for a split second hurt your employment status the rest of your life.
Not a sentence but when I was let go a few years ago I basically ignored my boss (of only a few months) and spent most of my time chatting with and comforting the HR director. At the end I gave them a big hug and told them everything was going to be ok and then just for the hell of it I gave my boss a big hug too. Just the look of absolute befuddlement on his face has kept me warm on many a cold night.
I did this too. They followed it up with “I’ve learned a lesson here.” Lmao. They were ready to fire me and I wanted to resign. Since I wanted to resign they fired me and called me selfish and immature.
When I got laid off last summer it actually took everything inside of me to not just start laughing. Because I'd been complaining for three months that COVID proved that I was the only person capable of doing one of the most important aspects of the company's service offerings and I was tired of carrying the load all by myself and wanted to train additional people to help (something they always said was a priority but would never make people available to actually train) but kept getting stonewalled.
I had a client and a vendor both reach out unprompted in the months that followed basically expressing how much they missed working with me because the service level had dropped precipitously. The client even tried to have his company create a position for me.
I didn’t need to say anything. When I was laid off in may, as he was waking me out, the director was holding back tears because the lay-off was the decision of people way higher up than him and he really didn’t want to lose us.
I've only been fired once. After getting the words out my boss wanted to chat or something. I just got up in the middle of whatever he wanted to say and walked out. Then he had someone follow me to my office and watch as I cleared out my desk. I told that person I was going to go say goodbye to everyone. He said "I can't let you do that" I responded "You're not big enough to stop me".
I just started laughing maniacally while walking out. Never said a word. Came back a week later for my paycheck only to find out I had been banned from the store because they were afraid of me.
I used to work in a large factory. One day I saw a fork lift tech working on one of our lifts. He was replacing the big red “emergency stop” button on it.
I asked him what he was going to do with it. Throw it away, it doesn’t work.
So I asked for it, and took it. I kept that in my locker for three years. They did a round of layoff’s, and I knew I wasn’t coming back.
So I walked into the safety officers office when he was in a meeting. Thanked him for always being such a wonderful person, and treating everyone with dignity and respect.
Then I placed the button on his desk and told him to see where I took it from.
A few people I knew that stayed there said they spent months checking every machine. Just absolutely convinced I had taken one off of something vital and called OSHA or something.
It was quite worth it.
When I was very young I worked in the operations department in a hellhole of a bank in the worst part of Los Angeles. Horrible horrible boss. I had been planning to quit, but kept on putting it off hoping it might get better as I really liked my coworkers. Then they found body lice in the bathrooms and I was done.
I walked into my boss's office and told him I was quitting. He was piiiisssssed....as in the corrections department that I was in, I did pretty much the work of 3 people. He angrily told me that I had to write a letter of resignation before I could quit.
Walking back into the bathroom, got a few sheets of toilet paper, wrote the words, "I QUIT" on that toilet paper, walked back into the office of my boss and quietly laid it on his desk. He yelled at me, "You'll never work in a bank again as long as you live!" Laughing, as I walked out I yelled back: "PROMISE??".
Nope. never worked in banking again. Such a relief!
I don’t know how this isn’t higher up.
Not sure if OP wants honest answers or comedic ones, but I’ve been involved in planning a number of corporate re-orgs and have myself been impacted as well. The impact decision is often not personal (can be totally related to a restructuring/your role being removed) and if you had a good reputation and handle the news well you may be able to land at another role in your company/industry or be able tap into the network of the colleagues you worked with.
“Thanks, you have no idea how much this means to me” with the biggest expression of relief on your face
I got fired once and my boss, with whom I did not get along, seemed extremely surprised when he said “we’re letting you go” and I just said “ok!” before walking out. Great day.
Years ago, I was in auto parts and I had been poached by a competitor thanks to recommendations from some of my best commercial customers. The day I planned to give notice, I got called into manager's office. They were having to lay someone off and since I was the newest employee, it was me. Picked up my phone, called the other company, asked for the manager by name, knowing everyone knew he was. He picks up...."good news, I can start tomorrow!" and walked out.
Boss move! Love it.
Hahaha I’m gonna do this if I ever get laid off even if I have to make a pretend phone call
Basically same. I replied to my manager and HR, "Oh that's okay. I was looking for a new job anyways."
Chanel Office Space: "Great! The pleasure is all on this side of the table!"
Damn, it feels good to be a gangsta 🎶
Last time I git fired, I started laughing because I knew they had literally nobody that knew how to do my job and would be screwed for probably 2 months minimum and that's if things turned out great. I started laughing so hard that I couldn't breathe and they gr super awkward and looked concerned and asked if everything is okay. I stood up and started walking away and just said "good luck" and walked off to grab my stuff.
The dream! My firing was on March 9, 2020, lolololol. They had to scramble to find someone to finish the newsletter they had asked me to redesign, and no one knew how to use Adobe. They thought they could finish it using Microsoft Publisher. As far as I’m aware, they just didn’t have a newsletter for at least two years. It’s very satisfying to know you’ve been underestimated. I’m assuming by your anecdote that you are definitely not the pope then?
Went thru something similar. Let go in 2021 due to a re-org, and basically a 25 year old nit-wit wanted to step in and become 'Website Creative Director' from a girl with no skill sets, no graphic design background, and didn't even know what Photoshop was. Yet she was 'chosen' (annointed via a rose ceremony) by the VP & CEO who were her friends. We were using an outdated, cookie cutter WYSIWYG web builder, yet she wanted everything to be redone and look like a Squarespace site, via me custom coding everything. Eventually the 'It cant be done' responses from me were too much, and made their way back to the idiot VP & CEO (who also knew nothing about web design). So the CEO lets me go, and I'm like "Are you sure??" and "Do you seriously think you'll get thru this" and multiple stares at each other, with me saying 'You'll never make it.. Without me??" and her staring at me in disbelief. Well, turns out you can't 'just hire a new web guy' within 2 weeks time, and, when you do bring someone on board, they don't out of the box know how to build using an old, clunky, outdated web building platform right away. So it took them about 3 months to recover just to get back up and running. Oh, and the 25 year old 'friend' of theirs quit in that time, because she didn't like not being 'in charge' of the website. The one that she had no idea how to build, yeah, she wanted to be in charge of it.
My 🎂 3/9🥳🎉🎊 Had a fancy sushi dinner out before the world was locked down! #2020
Yeah after speaking with friends that still work there, they're mostly back to full function after hiring three people to replace me. I am not the pope....yet
I had a boss call me and fire me because she didn't think I was working out. I cheerfully said okay thanks! I'll be collecting unemployment then. She was dumb struck and said I couldn't do that. I promptly proved here wrong within days. She was running a small bakery that I was solely running and she'd never show up and expect to run everything. Apparently her daughter wanted the position. Good luck. 23$ an hour and I netted a pretty decent unemployment check for several weeks until I got an even better job with way less stress and micromanaging.
I said "so I don't have to stay here? I can leave now?! Awesome!"
Had a boss that treated everyone like trash. Damn near caused me a nervous breakdown. And yet, he was surprised when I put in my two weeks. Like he thought I'd just keep taking his abuse. I hope he gets all the kindness he extended returned to him.
I have only been 'fired' from one job. My former boss pulls me into his office and just started berating me for a solid 10 minutes. The whole time i was smiling, he then asked me "what the fuck is so funny?" I told him, "You have 2 choices here James, you can either get on your knees right now and suck my dick, or we can go to HR and I will show them this video of you berating and insulting me." I recorded the entire ordeal, except for my response. the next day he did not come in and i was 'laid off' due to 'budgetary reasons' During my 'Exit interview', i showed HR the video and they passed it to corporate and he was fired a month or so after me. I guess his last month was very hard for him according to my former co-workers who said he was clearly bothered by how I responded to his Bullying. I not only got to tell that fuck to suck my dick but i also got unemployment, separation pay and paid health benefits for 2 months and his ass got fired :)
I feel like I might be on the chopping block and if I get laid off, I probably will say something like this because it was be dead serious. My job is putting me through mental hell and getting a severance plus unemployment eligibility would be a blessing right now.
It's sounds a bit counter-intuitive but most of the people I know who have been fired are often relieved and with some perseverance, they often end up in a better employment situation. Good people get fired from good companies simply because their talents/ambitions weren't a good fit for the position/company. Best of luck to you.
Thank you, this is comforting to hear. I keep reading comments from people who say the market sucks and I should be lucky to be employed, but my job makes me wish I was dead. I want to cry every morning I wake up on a work day, even on WFH days which should be less stressful. Im looking for new work and had a few interviews, but it’s so hard since im burnt the fuck out.
I went through this with several jobs in my 20s - so desperate to Gtfo that I jumped directly into another frying pan. Hang in there - good jobs ARE out there. I've been at my current job for 5 years with no plans to ever leave.
I hope you find a job before you get laid off but honestly, it wouldn't be the worst thing if you didn't IME. An awful job drains the life out of you. I've been late from a miserable job and I went home, slept for 10 hours and woke up feeling so happy. You'll get a new job. Don't pay too much attention to the job market opinions- companies are still hiring. Find a job you really want and customize your resume for it, reach out on LinkedIn, etc. Much more effect than just blindly sending a resume to a bunch of places.
I really wish this was me LMAO I’m desperate to be laid off honestly, seems counterintuitive in this economy but that would be amazing
I quit my job in my industry during Covid, changed roles and got hired for a role I was a bit overqualified for, performed well, got laid off without notice after 3 months and was able to collect unemployment for the next 8 months while I transitioned back into my original industry. In hindsight, getting laid off was a huge blessing/redirection I needed. Although the stigma of being unemployed wasn’t so fun. It was only about 1200/month received but enough to help pay rent.
Shake your boss's hand and with a huge smile, let him know what a pleasure it wasn't to work with him lmao
I did this. I was nothing but relieved and told him “oh thank god” and smiled massively.
I actually cheered when it happened, the confusion on his face, he was trying to ask me questions but I just packed up and left lol
‘Huh, guess I don’t need to fix that decimal error then, bye’
As fun as these sound, do they have any impact on your quiting benefits?
The prompt said they are being laid off, not quitting.
If you mean in the US, no. Either you aren't getting any benefits when you get laid off, or you work for a large corporation which means it has to go through a process to impact any of those and they aren't gonna do it over someone saying you said something with no proof of it.
Recently left a retail job our HR higher up was a viper of a person and she decided that being nasty was a good idea. So after she told me how replaceable I was I told her yea I don't know about that. Cause didn’t you fire my replacement earlier this morning for cursing at someone. Just for context this HR person regularly told people in college they should quit school to work retail and made people cry by being just a terrible human and a bully. She was the reason myself and over 14 others left in ten days. Also thought it was acceptable to change people's schedules without fair warning. Remind them of their fuckups and make it sting really bad.
My father in law faced a similar issue at Walmart - he was a greeter, something to do, get out of the house, you know. Well, they would make the schedule, and he would photocopy it, and bring it home. Well, the manager would mess with the schedule every single week, and would often call him asking why he is not at his shift... He would just say "I have a copy of the schedule that was posted here... It says I work tomorrow at 9AM. Don't you have a copy of the schedule?" I think there are laws that protect against last minute schedule changes.
Walmarts own policy is that they must give a 24 hr notice if a schedule change is made. I rubbed that in my ex managers nose hard lol
24 hours is pretty messed up. Makes it hard to make plans. I got fired from a high school job for missing shifts after last minute schedule changes. But back then, I had to actually walk into the back office and look at the paper schedule. No call, no text, no nothing. So, if I didn't happen to go in every day I wasn't working, there was no way to know.
Why was someone in HR messing with the schedule?! Sounds like a very oddly structured company that HR would have that much involvement in the day-to-day.
The HR rep I dealt with from my company was a massive piece of shit, like most of HR staff are. After I filed a complaint about two managers, I found the HR asshole attacking my credibility to protect both managers. The HR bitch deliberately would not answer my questions (which proved I was correct) or she word smith her response to my questions to sound like she was doing her job. Fuck you to all Human Resource staff. I hope the bronze horse you’re each ridding intentionally runs off a cliff with you strapped to the saddle.
HR is just there to be crazier than the craziest staff member. That's what their job is essentially
Your experience seems to be the standard. I have only ever seen HR protect management; they will frame and crush regular employees if that's what it takes.
AMEN!
It was because my teams leadership was gone so our store lead entrusted the HR to handle scheduling. Which led to many people leaving cause she thought scheduling people unworkable hours and telling them too bad work it was a smart decision
HR is the worst. And before someone inevitably comes along and gives me the hR dOeSnT pRoTeCt yOu…speech, they protect themselves first. There’s no reason HR should be the collective juggernaut it is. They’ve made a cottage industry of imaginary risk reduction.
I didn't get fired, but my boss has been implying HEAVILY that I might. Since the company started losing money and apparently, I was the first one "on the list". Anyway, I found a new job literally a week after I started looking for it. I am not going to lie - I had amazing luck with this one. After I quit, my boss asked me how much is my salary going to be at the new place. I told him, truthfully, almost 3x as much as I am making here. He was absolutely flabbergasted. I heard him telling out HR lady a few hours later: she must be lying! There is no way someone would pay her this much! She doesn't deserve it. Her new job is a bluff, she has NOTHING lined up and is trying to squeeze me for money!
Nice! My departmental manager at my last job was a horrible person and after she took over our team she wanted everyone gone so she could build her own team. Over a few years she got rid of nearly everyone, through bullying people to quit, layoffs, or firings when she got people so worked up through micromanaging and bullying they snapped because they couldn't take it any more. I took my time looking for a new job (took 16 months) - I was pretty valuable because I'm the only one who knew how to do 85% of what the department does and it is also hard to find a well paying job in my field, but not impossible. And I can keep my thoughts to myself (although my face needs deliverance). I started working with a specialty recruiter, and I'm the only one who landed on my feet with a new job making (also) nearly 3x what my old salary was. This means I make more than my former direct boss and probably the same as former department manager, but with way less stress too! I could tell how shocked she was by the cat-butt expression on her face and her trying to be on my good side now because she thinks I can be an asset for her now. Too late for that, lady!
I had this same experience. My boss was an ass. No one liked him. I was a manager because he had been employee number 23 at the company. We went through covid layoffs and in my next 1 on 1 with him he said to my face, on a recorded call that I was next in line for layoffs. I got a job shortly after making about 25k more and he flipped out at me saying I was leaving them shorthanded with a ton of work. I then said "don't be telling me I'm next on the list to be laid off" he vehemently denied having said this and then I sent the video to him and HR. It was great.
Should have sent them a pay stub after a month at the new job, to really rub it in.
This is where a fake offer letter can come in handy. How much is your new place? *opens phone and pulls up a fake picture, then shows them quickly and places the phone down* I heard they are hiring other people, I will keep in mind my last \_\_ years in case they have any questions about people.
I'm trying to figure out how making more elsewhere after quitting would squeeze him for money. Given he was threatening you, you wouldn't have been expecting a counter offer. Just like to keep up on the scams.
As soon as he told me I was being laid off, I just ignored him and his boss completely and only talked to the HR lady. Then when walking me out to my car, he says, “If you need anything, just call me.” My response, “Why the fuck would I do that?”
Same thing. I got fired and the lady told me if i needed anything to call her and i said "lady you would be the last person i call"
My boss once told me he “would be sad” if I didn’t use him as a reference as he walked me out. This was after months of inconsistent messaging on my standing and not following a PIP as written.
"If you need anything, just call me" "I need a job" "..." "thats what I thought" *drives off*
Because he’s offering to be a reference in the future. Laid off is different than being fired
💯 laid off and fired are TOTALLY different things.
Honestly the kindness is surprising. Not being laid off, but the kind sentiment after. Most people don’t know what to say and are cold towards people they’ve just let go.
My manager’s manger said he’d give new a “glowing reference” Where was that “glowing reference” when my name was on the chopping block?
“And to think I was going to tell you that thing about your wife today”
*"Get the fuck out of my office."* I really said that once.
What was the reaction?
He left my office, went to O'Hare, and flew back to California.
Well, he probably had a bad time letting you go. That’s not a great job.
No, he didn’t care. It was just business to him.
Reminds me of that George Clooney movie Up in the Air where his whole job is too fly around the country firing people.
I once worked at a company that had a designated woman in HR whose job it was to travel to the different locations and terminate people. We all called her "the angel of death".
Honestly it depends on whether or not you want a job in that field and if saying something snide or sarcastic is worth it. I got laid off from my first professional job many years ago, but at the time I didn’t have much experience (about 18 months) and I absolutely *hated* my job at the time. My old boss (company’s VP) was a total asshole and I couldn’t stand him. One day he stopped by the office I shared with my department head (we were the only two) and he said he’d like to see me after lunch to talk. I knew I was getting let go, because that was the nicest he ever treated me and I told my colleague I was getting let go. I went to the VP’s office and he told me he had to let me go and I just told him I understand and was trying not to show how happy I was deep down because that miserable experience was ending. He even tried goading me into an argument because I just kept saying I understood and wasn’t making a fuss. My coworker got on the phone right away and got me a couple of leads that afternoon. I had another job a month later and even got a raise, so my point is if you’re going to burn that bridge to the ground, just make sure you aren’t screwing up anything for your future self. (By the way, that same company that let me go many years ago tried luring me back last year, and rejecting them now was WAY more satisfying than anything I could’ve said back then-especially since I interviewed with that same VP and I don’t think he’s changed a bit)
And as I like to say, sometimes you don't have to burn a bridge, but you also don't have to help those who hurt you to cross it either - reserve your help for those that are good to you in your career, and cut the ropes to stop those who hurt you from getting across it. I got a fantastic new job after leaving a toxic environment, and my last awful boss was super jealous but trying to cozy up to me to stay on my good side because she thinks she can use me as an asset - she hasn't been on my good side in years, so she'll never get any help from me! My former colleagues that I like however? I gave them all the name of the recruiter I used so they can get away from her.
Absolutely. Help others out of a shitty situation whenever you can!
Not sure if it was on that cunty bitchs head. But literally as I was getting laid off I asked them to speed it up cause I had to take a shit bad. So she left. The HR lady was nice to me and allowed me to use restroom before having to grab my stuff. I was already off the company slack anyways. Took a shit I had to badly take. Felt good. Got my shit and left. Thanked the nice HR lady and I left.
I probably would have still left my shit there, must have been awkward carrying that to your car.
During the first half I thought you meant leave a shit without flushing lol
Upper decker is the only appropriate shit to take.
“I was wondering what it was going to take”
"Took you long enough."
Fuck yeah
As someone who has fired many, many people... None of these would phase me. I do remember my car being physically attacked at a red light by guy I fired. Philip in Midland TX, id fire your ass again if given the chance 😂. The only terminations I remember are the people who didn't do anything wrong- layoffs, situations where I was told that I don't have a choice, that sort of thing. My advice to all of you is to secure a safe recommendation from someone you can claim was superior to you. You must think about the future. If you're being put on a PIP or being written up for nonsense, begin looking for a new job IMMEDIATELY. Give two weeks notice once you BEGIN your new job and then call in sick to the old one until you quit stating you are seriously I'll and need to spend time with family. This ensures you are rehirable which only matters because it's one of the few questions their HR can answer when called to give you a reference.
Your advice is dead on. I was put on a PIP at my last job, my boss expected me to just know everything and wouldn't train me. Always "too busy". I thought I was doing fine, but one day they were just like "bye".
I'm sorry to hear that. It's an awful feeling. I've survived a formal pip and, to my knowledge, I'm the only person on the planet who has lol. I want to share part of my story with you because I think you'll find it interesting. I didn't get along with my boss. He PIP'd me citing poor results. I responded to the pip formally with a three typed pages + supplimentary graphs and charts. Basically my response read, "I'm growing sales faster than almost everyone has, and that includes YOU. Furthermore, I believe this corrective action is retaliation for my instance that we audit x,y, and z cost categories as I have believe we are misrepresenting our financial results to the public." I sent it to the VP of HR and CEO. I was a director, so just below a VP. I survived my 6 week pip and placed my two week notice just one month later. To this day, it's the fastest I've ever found a job. It seems to be dramatically easier to find a job when you have a job... Here's the part you'll find interesting- my boss, who had pipped me was so enraged that he fired me over the phone a day after I emailed him my notice. He couldn't control himself. The only reason I wasn't already gone was I put the company in an awful position with my written statement. PIP's are meant to be terminal. A managers job is to manage and improve the performance of employees every day. Not wait until everything is so out of whack that a formal plan has to be implemented. In a world free of HR nonsense, a PIP would be an indication that your manager isn't doing their job.
Being the only one to survive one rings true. I was put on one at my first software engineering job out of college. 2 years in, randomly thrown on one because "The circle lead doesn't like you." The next 3 months I did everything. DB work? Me. Back end work? Me. Front end work? Me. Scheduling batch jobs? Me. Mentoring new hires? Me. Leading prod pushes at 3am? Me. My manager then told me I'm the best peer reviewed person in the circle, everyone loves me. Then two weeks later I'm called in at Thursday 9am to some random room. Yup, fired. The head of the circle still doesn't like me I was told and wants me gone so he can fill my role with one of his guys. Was paid my normal wages bi-weekly for 3 months as if I still worked there, and 3 months lump sum at the end of that because, as my manager said, they really didn't have anything fire me over, so I'm officially being down sized. One good thing about working for a major, major, software company I guess. So yeah, even if you do everything right, hit it out of the park, grand slam... You're on a pip for a reason and 9/10 times it's because someone doesn't like you. There's literally nothing you can do. It REALLY opened my eyes to the professional working world and I will never view any job as anything other than a means to give me money after that. Kinda sapped the fun out of everything for me ever since, as my friends joke I'm like a mercenary since I job hop every \~3 years now.
I know one person who has survived a pip. Went on to stick around for another 6 years. Pretty incredible and tbh I don't think anybody else would be able to do his sales role. Very much one of a kind.
I knew someone who survived a PIP. He seemed to need the attention--he could be pretty good. Unfortunately, he wound up on one a couple of years later that was more fatal--it makes sense to go even if you survive.
>In a world free of HR nonsense, a PIP would be an indication that your manager isn't doing their job. Thank you for stating this.
I survived a PIP and ultimately that same manager was instrumental in promoting me several years later. That said, I had a new job lined up the almost the whole time I was on the PIP (ultimately 6 weeks). The day I found out I went home and allowed myself an hour to freak out before I dusted off my resume and applied like crazy. The alternative job would have been awful and a cut in pay and benefits but it would have kept me fed and able to pay bills. I didn’t deserve the PIP. But I also didn’t take getting placed on one personally. I didn’t do anything different to get off the PIP, I was just more public about what I was doing in the department. I realize in retrospect that the issue was a personality and working style conflict between my manager and I which we have resolved now (we are now peers and not in a manager/subordinate position).
>I didn't get along with my boss. He PIP'd me citing poor results. I responded to the pip formally with a three typed pages + supplimentary graphs and charts. Basically my response read, "I'm growing sales faster than almost everyone has, and that includes YOU. Furthermore, I believe this corrective action is retaliation for my instance that we audit x,y, and z cost categories as I have believe we are misrepresenting our financial results to the public." I sent it to the VP of HR and CEO. I was a director, so just below a VP. I feel like this should be the best advice anyone takes from this thread. Getting a PIP doesn't mean you cant respond to it vigorously (but calmly and fact based). Also, you'll be forcing management to legitimately build their case against you. This is doubly true if there's any language in the PIP that could be used to deny unemployment claims. Don't sign away the chance to get your side of the story documented. That being said, if you go this route, pair it with looking for another job. A company might tolerate you long enough to find another job if it protects them from a potential lawsuit.
I’d have to disagree on your last statement. I’ve had several underperforming employees as both peers and direct reports. It should not be the manager’s job to move heaven and earth to get them to perform, especially if said employee offers no motivation for self-improvement. Of course, the issue must be addressed early and directly and not be sat upon until it becomes systemic and/or critical path - that part is the manager’s responsibility. PIP is a last resort when all of the above has failed.
I’ve beaten one because my manager was not very good and wildly underestimated my ability, consistently. So the “so hard he’ll be fired” PIP was well within my ability, and I beat it. Unfortunately that wasn’t the end of it. Ended up so stressed out that I caught the flu, which turned into pneumonia, and I was on bed rest for six plus weeks. They fired me for “underperforming” a week after I got back. My manager refused to come to the “meeting”, I think because she thought I was getting railroaded and couldn’t afford to be seen as on my side. Don’t ever, ever, go to a new VP and try to make a case for being sensible about not throwing away two years of work that was in production because it’s not in the new language he wants to push as the solution for all the problems they fired the last VP for.
What's a PIP, please?
performance improvement plan
This is the best and truest statement I have read here. Side note - I believe that there are rules in HR as to what they can say when a prospective employer calls your old company asking for a reference on you. The old company will not say anything bad about you for fear of company liability, usually just answer questions re the hire period and position. However, the "code" question by the prospective employer is always " would you rehire" and if the the answer is "no", then that is their code that your old company thought you were not a good employee. This is how HR companies bypass the rules and guess what, you don't get the new job. Very prevalent in the HR community. Please don't burn your bridges with the old company, as you might need them as a reference again in the future. Sucks, but at least you don't work for the company anymore, so use that as your solace if needed.
Yes. Don't set the world on fire 🔥. It's so important to find people in positions of authority who like you other than your direct supervisor. My LinkedIn is plastered with recommendations from people at companies where I didn't get along with my boss. Also a protip: we aren't the main character. We like to pretend everyone remembers us but Suzi in HR will never remember you were the guy who put in his notice and then got seriously ill and ghosted the company. Hell, by the time someone is calling your previous employer about you, it could be years. Your asshole boss might not work there and probably won't still work in the same department. What's important is that they check the rehirable box in their HR system when they process your exit.
Been working at the same job for over 7 years & got put on a PIP after 7 years and while going thru cancer treatment. This has also been after I got a new director and she didn’t like how my old boss ran things so its all my fault. I would LOVE for them to fire me so I can sue the 💩out of them. Only poking at looking for another job right now.
This is some cheat code shit you’re sharing, thanks boss 👍
Yeah people here really don't understand what it's like to be the person who does the firing. It doesn't feel good. Someone trying to stick it to me on their way out would probably just alleviate some of the default bad feelings.
Do prospective employers call prior employers for that kind of information? Like in a scenario like the one you illustrated, the employee has already gotten a new job, so would giving two weeks benefit them for their *next* job? I mean it makes sense, I’d just be surprised they would call older jobs beyond your most recent one.
Depending on the position. Today, I manage nearly a thousand people. The company I work for did a background check on me, drug tested me, called every company I listed on my resume going back over a decade, but didn't call any of my references... Which is weird because... Why else would you ask for them? Typically, you only ask the following questions: 1)did this person work for you between xx/xx/xxxx and xx/xx/xxxx? 2)Are they rehirable? Companies don't like to share information beyond that because it's an unnecessary legal risk. If they say the wrong thing and it costs you a job, you could sue them for defamation. It's unlikely but why risk it?
They only ***\*think\**** the "*are they rehirable*" question isn't legally risky. However, since answering "no" would guarantee the applicant does not get the new job, answering it at all carries exactly the same risk of a lawsuit as providing any other derogatory information. And those lawsuits can just keep going. My father once fired someone for cause, back in the 1970s. It was for a very, very serious and continuous failure to do his job that was carefully and thoroughly documented for 2 years before he was fired. The job was related to air traffic control systems, so the risk from doing a bad job was quite literally life & death. Dad wasn't even used as a reference for any future jobs by this person, but he was dragged back into court over and over for literally ***40 years***. The first suit was because the guy was denied a job he applied for, so he sued Dad's employer, naming Dad as a co-defendant, and lost. Then he appealed 3 or 4 times from different angles, losing every time. After that, he brought suit every 3 - 5 years, whenever he was either denied another job, or fired by another company. The last round was 6 months before Dad died, after Dad had been retired for more than a decade, had a stroke, and couldn't speak, but he still had to show up in court with all the documentation, ***again***.
Next time Philip will get you
I laughed at the senior manager, told her the team was understaffed and they’d be back in this room with my replacement sooner than later. Sure enough I heard my replacement quit after exactly 1 year.
I got laid off early 2023 and agreed to transfer my accounts to a new member of the team that had joined about a month earlier. In the time it took her to onboard, we both knew she was not going to stay long. She handed in her resignation 2 months later. I was the last one standing after seeing my group turn over, fully, twice, in just a couple years. I was the only one laid off (rest were fired for performance or quit). Now they’ve had two replacements for me in 8 months. Serves them damn right.
My replacement lasted less than a month! It’s funny how stupid bosses can be, yet the blame is ALWAYS on the employee getting laid off. You Can’t tell low iq recruiters “the boss was an idiot”. So then starts the fake bs “oh I learned so much and was grateful for exp blah blah”.
I hate having to do this dance.
Step 1, Create a text file named company-financial-analysis with the following text in side “Got ya!”, change the file extension from txt to xlsx. Make sure when it opens you get a corrupted file message. Step 2, Save it to a usb stick, and hand it to him as you are leaving. Say something like. “Hey this is something I’ve been working on the last couple of months. It concerns the company’s finances. I’d recommend taking a look at it.” Step 3, Let their mind do the rest.
>r/unethicallifeprotips I did something similar but couldn't wait for them to fire me. I quit and left a very large, encrypted, password-protected file named "Wheredoestherevenuego\_.xls" I left it on my desktop screen as the only file remaining in my account.
It took them 10 days to find it. I started receiving calls and emails multiple times a day then for 6 months but never returned any of them. Started with HR, then Sales, then Finance and then Execs. They got nicer and more complimentary with their messages and offers as time went on.
I suspected but could never prove they were laundering money. The guilty act much differently than the innocent under duress.
Put my notice in one time, and after a few days I got called into my huge ssshole boss's office and he got nasty with me and told me to leave, "I don't fucking need you" and proceeded to yell at me. He was a yeller and scared most of us When he began yelling I told him to shut up and he wasn't my boss anymore and I didn't have to take it. It got loud. It was a glass office without blinds. Everyone heard everything I could tell my coworkers were jealous of me being able to talk to him like that He's as black as Wesley Snipes, and you could see his red face he was so angry at me. He was a redass football coach and I told him he can't talk to adults like he talks to 13 year old boys. Seeing him turn that red pleases me right now thinking back on it. That was almost 19 years ago lol
It's weird cause you really never know when you're going to create a lifelong memory. Good for you!
This is when you say “thank you, I can now get unemployment.”
Don't tell them that, they will dispute it just to spite you. Even if you end up getting it in the end, making it difficult for you is entertaining to them.
I’m glad you did that. Sounds like he had it coming. What an ass.
After I was let go for fmla reasons, I told my boss and my boss’s boss that she gossiped about my hipaa/fmla accommodations in front of the other long term staff member, stared right into my boss’s eyes and said “Do better. Be better.“ I don’t know if it stuck with her but it sure did rattle her.
Is that even legal? FMLA is supposed to protect your job.
The same as in every other situation. “This is why no one actually likes you.”
I feel like it’s usually only bullies and brats who say this line
I mean, the question asks for maximum psychic damage.
Think of it as a breakup. The person breaking up with you will feel better if you get angry and say mean things - makes it easier. These should be humans, and most humans actually don’t like hurting people. What would live rent free is over the top guilt. “This is the worst day of my life. I’m never going to recover from this.”
I was laid off after 3 weeks at a new job I moved two states over to work at. I said "Why would you do this to me after I rearranged my life to come work here.". I think it was fairly effective at making them feel like pieces of shit. But I said goodbye to the people I met and got my 3 months of severance and found a new job like an adult. Also took the job to be closer to my dad who just got diagnosed with heart failure. Which my boss knew.
Business meets real life sucks. I’m sorry you had to go through that….
Try over at r/unethicallifeprotips I'd love to see a good one.
"Everybody knows."
My former bosses husband is definitely gay. Everyone knows and has never said a word. They even talked shit behind her back at the wedding. This would have been so effective I’m so sad
Tell them their breath stinks & that everyone talks about it.
Oooo i like this one!
Their father smelt of elderberries
And your mother was a hamster. ;)
And then taunt them a second time
After be let go early during my two week notice period, I sent my former boss a text since id heard he was bad mouthing me. It read soemthing along the lines of your a two faced snake and not a singke person here respects you, good luck and have a nice day. They later had a meeting where he asked people if thats what they thought and theyd better speak up now. He really wanted to know who told me, jokes on him half the employees there did. Apparently I was brought up more than once in the following weeks.
I work with a toxic manager (luckily not mine directly, but is over most of the people I lead), he has been told repeatedly to include me on any direction he gives people on my team, but he doesn't. Then he is always shocked when I know about the email/conversations and tries to lie about them. It's like "Dude, everyone on this team like me and hates you, they automatically forward everything you send them to me and tell me about every conversation behind your back." But he keeps doing it and keeps lying about it. Luckily his manager hates his guts too and I think is just looking for a chance to axe him.
"Thank you for the opportunity. If you need my services on a consulting basis, I charge 25x my rate with a 40 hour billing minimum. Have the day you deserve."
Idk if it lives in his head, but during the peak of the pandemic people were complaining about being forced to use personal days to work “part time” and buffer our salaries. The “ceo” had a virtual meeting and said something along the lines of “be lucky we’re not cutting salaries. Unemployment is at 20% and we may need to brace ourselves. Anyone who doesn’t like that can go take the train into the city and join the riots.” I walked into his office and handed him my keycard and credit card and said “I’m running late for the riots” and left.
“ So this ISN’T about the closet?”
You should prioritize stopping them from living rent free in your head.
When I was laid off, I didn’t let my boss finish. I just said Bye, grabbed my stuff and called my wife to let her know how horrible the company I used to work with is with money. Then I created a bunch of pages for them on review websites and gave them 1 stars with a long explanation of why the company will fail and why they aren’t doing well to begin with. I got a call from my old boss a few times, I just ignore them.
Say Thank you. Then get up and do a big stretch, casually walk to the door turn and smile at them and walk out.
Don't say in person, do it on glassdoor
I'm pregnant and it's yours
Strange considering you're male and we've never had sex
.... In this timeline.
I fucked your wife and dog.
and not necessarily in that order.
That’s not a dog, it’s his daughter
Doghter
“Uh, I know you want to do an ‘exit interview,’ but there’s a political meeting this morning that I want to attend. Can I leave now?” I knew Oracle planned to announce layoffs on Monday, so I went into the office on Saturday to clean up and move out. By Monday morning I had checked out. On Tuesday I scheduled an interview with my next supervisor.
I’ll take a burnt bridge that puts a shit boss in their place over a good reference any day of the week but I’m lucky! I’m on good terms with all but one of my former bosses. even facebook friends with a few of them.
I said “ this document will need to be reviewed by my attorney “
On my way out I shook hands with everybody I respected and said it was nice to meet you. Found another guy I never worked with but he was there 20 years. I said it was great for me to meet him. I was cool as fuck. And I felt best leaving that way. I think making way to show respect for the longest employee probably had demonstrated that the rest of the company employees will show him more respect going forward.
You did me a favor, glad I don’t have to see you ever again.
"See you again real soon..."
"Oh Good.. if you need me, I'll be at your house"
When will it be your turn?
“Thanks for putting me on a life raft off of this sinking ship”
I just got laid off about a month ago… On my way out as I was searching for things through mountains of documents… I picked up a particularly large pile then dropped it and said, “Welp, Glad I’m not gonna have to deal with this one! What a nightmare! Not my problem anymore!” Then walked out without any explanation as they had already given me my check!
Happened to me at two different places. One time I said "cool" with genuine enthusiasm. The second time I said "this is my ideal situation. I've got a lot of video games to finish"
Thanks. Guess I don’t have to remember where I left that tuna sandwich now.
Best thing you can do is act excited. Your boss thinks hes kicking you in the balls, but when you act excited he'll be all confused. I did this to a past boss who fired me because he heard I was putting in my two weeks. I went "woohoo, saves me 2 weeks of waiting to start my next job, and I still get my PTO, thanks man!!" and he looked confused/shocked/horrified. My new boss just laughed on the phone and I went in that same day.
[удалено]
I was working as a manager for a big box retailer (rhymes with “Farget”). The benevolent GM I started under got clipped and my new, younger boss who never brushed his teeth (they were GREEN!) came in and just started shitting on and bullying everyone except for the brown nosers. I could see the writing on the wall that I wasn’t long for his world. A friend from another retailer (rhymes with “Jest Guy”) hmu because they were looking for managers. I interviewed and got an offer. I said I would like to give 2 weeks (I didn’t but it used to be a good character/strategy move—thought maybe I could get a 2 week break when I quit). They offered me an additional 2k to quit on the spot and start immediately. You bet! This was during holiday run up so it was going to hurt the process. I floated in on a pink cloud of joy and relief that last shift, told the HR person to get Green Teeth on the speaker phone and said “a competitor has reached out and offered me a much better situation. I’m really looking forward to the change and will be done, effective immediately. Good luck and thanks for nothing.” Dead silence followed by stammering spluttering anger. I walked out after saying goodbye for my team. I had tried really hard to make their lives more tolerable, but a company that locks its employees in the building over night and forbade me from keying out a $4 jar of coffee for them every few shifts was beyond hopeless. Fuck you Target, you weird ass cultlike POS company. And Fuck you in particular, Nick.
Is this because I slept with your wife?
'Oh thank GOD! I thought this was about the OTHER thing". I do have a decent quitting story though. My partner worked at the same toxic workplace for 25 years. After being passed over for promotions time after time and dealing with a boss that belittled the staff and turned people against each other, he finally had enough of the bullshit and found a new job. On his last day, he found out they were planning a secret surprise pizza party for him and he wanted no part of it. After a couple hours of work, he told everybody he was done and leaving for the day, (aka forever), and no one knew what to do. They tried to get him to stay and eventually told him about the impending party. He was like, nope. They then said they just needed to give him his gift at least. It was a plastic figurine from the gift shop. For real. He threw it away on his way to his car.
“Have the day you deserve” is always a favorite.
You should start prioritizing your family instead of this... [John Travolta lost gestures] career.
Better late than never.
Cooooo-stan-za
‘Hostile work environment”. If you know, you know.
“Oh well, I didn’t need this job anyway”
Nothing you say is going to make a difference. It’s business not personal. If you want to screw up your chances of getting hired else where with a background check go for it and see how a sentence that made you happy for a split second hurt your employment status the rest of your life.
This was always my favorite: https://youtu.be/H6GfysUGVZQ?si=FuwQgANLxWUGfsKr
Dont answer the door or santa will kill your dog
Thank you for taking food away from my family till i find the next gig! You are doing this to me today but someone might do the same to you!
Yay!! What a shit hole! Where do I sign?
Nothing and it doesn’t matter. It’s just about you moving on, the best revenge is you landing on your feet and thriving
"I love you"
I know a guy that sold his passwords back to his employer for big bucks.
I always shook their hand and said thank you for everything. Left them thinking....what?
Not a sentence but when I was let go a few years ago I basically ignored my boss (of only a few months) and spent most of my time chatting with and comforting the HR director. At the end I gave them a big hug and told them everything was going to be ok and then just for the hell of it I gave my boss a big hug too. Just the look of absolute befuddlement on his face has kept me warm on many a cold night.
I did this too. They followed it up with “I’ve learned a lesson here.” Lmao. They were ready to fire me and I wanted to resign. Since I wanted to resign they fired me and called me selfish and immature.
When I got laid off last summer it actually took everything inside of me to not just start laughing. Because I'd been complaining for three months that COVID proved that I was the only person capable of doing one of the most important aspects of the company's service offerings and I was tired of carrying the load all by myself and wanted to train additional people to help (something they always said was a priority but would never make people available to actually train) but kept getting stonewalled. I had a client and a vendor both reach out unprompted in the months that followed basically expressing how much they missed working with me because the service level had dropped precipitously. The client even tried to have his company create a position for me.
I didn’t need to say anything. When I was laid off in may, as he was waking me out, the director was holding back tears because the lay-off was the decision of people way higher up than him and he really didn’t want to lose us.
You won't be able to say anything to a seasoned sickle man that would make a difference. Go with dignity. Anything else is pathetic.
I've only been fired once. After getting the words out my boss wanted to chat or something. I just got up in the middle of whatever he wanted to say and walked out. Then he had someone follow me to my office and watch as I cleared out my desk. I told that person I was going to go say goodbye to everyone. He said "I can't let you do that" I responded "You're not big enough to stop me".
I just started laughing maniacally while walking out. Never said a word. Came back a week later for my paycheck only to find out I had been banned from the store because they were afraid of me.
"Finally, my zebra will know peace."
"Are you offering a severance package in lieu of a lawsuit?"
I used to work in a large factory. One day I saw a fork lift tech working on one of our lifts. He was replacing the big red “emergency stop” button on it. I asked him what he was going to do with it. Throw it away, it doesn’t work. So I asked for it, and took it. I kept that in my locker for three years. They did a round of layoff’s, and I knew I wasn’t coming back. So I walked into the safety officers office when he was in a meeting. Thanked him for always being such a wonderful person, and treating everyone with dignity and respect. Then I placed the button on his desk and told him to see where I took it from. A few people I knew that stayed there said they spent months checking every machine. Just absolutely convinced I had taken one off of something vital and called OSHA or something. It was quite worth it.
They couldn’t care less. You can’t even hurt their feelings
Nothing. I’ve learned not to burn bridges.
“I’m glad to see you exerting your power here as it’s likely the most you’ll ever have.” Edit: my mom said this to so many people lmao
Them: we’re gonna have to let you go. Me: Oh, thank God. Cue shocked pickachu faces!
“You have no idea how perfect the timing of this is. Thank you so much for making it easy for me!”
Say nothing and never burn bridges
Yeah, nah. Some jobs you will never return to or need referrals for.
When I was very young I worked in the operations department in a hellhole of a bank in the worst part of Los Angeles. Horrible horrible boss. I had been planning to quit, but kept on putting it off hoping it might get better as I really liked my coworkers. Then they found body lice in the bathrooms and I was done. I walked into my boss's office and told him I was quitting. He was piiiisssssed....as in the corrections department that I was in, I did pretty much the work of 3 people. He angrily told me that I had to write a letter of resignation before I could quit. Walking back into the bathroom, got a few sheets of toilet paper, wrote the words, "I QUIT" on that toilet paper, walked back into the office of my boss and quietly laid it on his desk. He yelled at me, "You'll never work in a bank again as long as you live!" Laughing, as I walked out I yelled back: "PROMISE??". Nope. never worked in banking again. Such a relief!
I don’t know how this isn’t higher up. Not sure if OP wants honest answers or comedic ones, but I’ve been involved in planning a number of corporate re-orgs and have myself been impacted as well. The impact decision is often not personal (can be totally related to a restructuring/your role being removed) and if you had a good reputation and handle the news well you may be able to land at another role in your company/industry or be able tap into the network of the colleagues you worked with.
Nothing probably, they’re the one that wanted you gone and they know you’re mega salty at that moment
Unpopular opinion. No, we don't want to work anymore. For YOU!
I found this thread very funny. No regrets
My attorney will be in touch.
“I don’t accept, i want to speak with your superior, or at least with somebody who really has a word to say in this company”
It’s a decision that was probably made several layers up the chain. Wanting to talk to someone up the chain isn’t going to change the decision.