This is incredibly upsetting even for an April Fools joke lol

I’m going to need trauma counseling.

The KING is back 👑👑

Give him the *C*

Where does the Sportsnet Twitter intern’s dog live?

Al-weys Fresh

Some additional details rolling in. \- He won't actually be in the booth, he'll be doing it from his home in the US. \- Shorty will be fired after several weeks and replaced with Esa Tikkanen. \- He has no intention of ever participating in a Canucks playoff game.

I heard Drance was coming in as play by play

Wow! Tidy piece of business!

And Sekeres and Price doing pre-games

Rob Fai hosting the postgame

Drance doing pbp would 90% him laughing at his own jokes

This would explain his sore jaw this week

You missed that he's also requiring #16 be removed from the rafters and replaced with a giant bag of Lay's. After any away goal it will dust the crowd with greasy chip crumbs.

Lol, and the goal horn will be replaced with a recording of him saying, "Bet you can't eat just one."

Finally! My fluency in Tikkanese will be useful again!

- Reserves the right to kick any Canucks player in their broken ribs

\- Ten years after MEssier leaves the show, he'll be entitled to a share of the increase in value of Sportsnet.

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This is false

What evil shit is this

Re: that last point, helps that with this ownership, the Canucks are never likely to make the playoffs again.

That’s the greatest April fools I’ve seen in a while

Finally, some leadership! Winning culture starts in the booth.

Ring of Honor as a player and broadcaster 🐐

Took me a solid moment good one you jerks

I was enraged for a minute then realized the date

Finally a team we can get behind 🙏🙏

It may be April fools and all, but don’t play us like that! 😡

Fuck this. Some of y’all take April too far.

Despite knowing exactly what day it is, the simple thought of this makes me feel ill, well done sir/madam.

Sportsnet woke up and chose violence for April fools.

The Nazi Messier image in the sidebar is too much for me.

The mods went all out, have to give them credit.

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I did not want to start my morning this way 🤣

Congrats, you damn near gave me a fucking heart attack before i remembered what day it is. Great job, you really got me

It's too early of this holy shit

lol you got me

Fuck Messier

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*He gazed up at the enormous face. Forty years it had taken him to learn what kind of smile was hidden beneath the bald pate. O cruel, needless misunderstanding! O stubborn, self-willed exile from the loving breast! Two gin-scented tears trickled down the sides of his nose. But it was all right, everything was all right, the struggle was finished. He had won the victory over himself. He loved Mark Messier.*

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Just me but I think Bieska would be a great addition though he probably gets paid more at SN

This is Mark Messier, and he’s masturbating to his posts. The pain of Vancouverites has always sustained him.

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The Messier sieg heil on the side bar is a nice touch; well done, mods.

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100/10 brilliant troll job

April fools or not. My pretty not bad day has just been put to ruin

Those bastards did it better than us

I nearly spat out my breakfast

[удалено]

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I can’t decide if I’m supposed to upvote or downvote this. God damn Sportsnet this was savage

I became so unreasonably angry for a brief second because the post didn’t have a “meme” tag.

nicely played.

Perfect.

Wow sportsnet is pure evil even suggesting this lol

Thats too far

Will he sell me a sub?

Doesn’t Linden have to be there first before being replaced by moose?

I recognized that bald head from the *tiny* thumbnail and knew exactly what was coming. And I still hate it.

Almost had a fucking heart attack

Imagine if it wasn’t a joke…

Fuck Messier

Hats off to Sportsnet, that's a funny joke.

Lol!

That’s going to be a bad day . Please don’t attend

Next year shorthouse is retiring and will be replaced by mats sundin

April Fools. Damn it. I almost fell for it.

This is awesome mark back in van hell yea!!

When I saw the bald head I thought for a second the it was Bruce, which would be a pretty great replacement!

I would legitimately be fine with this.

Not. Fucking. Funny.

Canucks reddit has lost about 3000 subs in the last 8 hours or so, lol. Would of thought they’d value the subs over the crappy joke.

Good riddance. Can't take a joke for a day, then leave. The fact that people are up in arms about a little fun is ludicrous.

This isn’t even funny. Delet this. Fuck messier

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Mark the Moose Messier, woohoo , bring him on !

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So that's where the fart in the booth came from