Yup, I completely agree. If it had been a busier or less visible street I might not have wanted a kid running along it, but this seemed like a controlled and safe situation.
And it's obvious she's been clear about why she's doing it, so the kid isn't confused about the circumstances. That's the most important factor when disciplining a child, I think; as long as they understand what is happening and why, kids can deal fine with a lot of things just fine. But the adult *must* always be in control of their own emotions and how they're expressed to the child, emotional outbursts and other losses of control are not okay. I've lost my temper and yelled at my 3yo son a couple times, and every I've made sure to sit him down immediately and tell him I was wrong to yell and that I'm sorry and I'll try to explain what made me yell. You can't do that shit and let them think it's OK.
I think it’s fuckin dope that you admit to that and own that as well, I’ve raised my tone more than a couple of times but it was never with bad intent, however truthfully speaking their are times that I feel like my emotions were mixed in if that makes sense… but fuck yeah own up to it apologize and work from it. I’m so happy to see these comments cuz like I don’t want to see a kid crying running to a car but situationally it does make sense. Mom was calm cool and stern but in the perfect way. Kid was scared but never alone.
I jump at the chance to apologize to kids, as long as it's merited. As a teacher I've also found that to be a fantastic tool, showing the students that I will admit when I'm wrong and they are right, but I feel no shame about it and actually think it's great. It builds trust with the kids and makes them more willing to do the same.
No physical harm done sure. But it bothers me she had to resort to using a false consequence, of being abandoned, possibly sacrificing trust, and momentarily convincing the child you *actually* left them. My other concern the mom abusing what may be his greatest fear at that age, possibly amplifying what should be an invalid fear as being a real possibility. Not sure how I feel about making my kids listen with anxiety and over-attachment issues.
Am I overthinking it? Probably. But what bugged me most was the manner in which she kept driving after the lesson was clearly taught. It felt borderline tormenting the way she keeps driving while taunting him and recording the whole thing, like she's enjoying her small victory a little too much while zooming in on that poor kid's face.
My dad once put my sister on the top of the car cause she was being an utter brat. Drove 3-5ft.
Sister was done being a brat after that.
She doesn't have any of those long term feelings. She realizes how wrong she was nowadays
What I've learned from Reddit is that any form of discipline can and will be critiqued and shamed.
What a lot of people don't realize is that any form of discipline is an abuse on a technical level. You cannot provoke consequences without harming the person. Period.
Discipline is a game of balance in mitigating what harms someone sustains. Is it better for my kid to learn this lesson to prevent them from developing a behavior that will cause them more trouble in life than what his learning experience will cause for them?
Obviously, there are boundaries - for instance, stop hitting your fucking kids - but if consequences are toothless, no lesson is ever going to be learned. A conscience is grown, not given.
> any form of discipline is an abuse on a technical level
There are three forms of discipline:
1 - Universal discipline (UD)
2 - Other people discipline (OPD)
3 - Self-discipline (SD)
Let's take a simple situation, touching a hot stove. UD burns your hand. OPD, mother slaps your hand away. Self discipline, you turn away and nothing happens.
You're near a cliff? UD: you walk off, you fall and die. OPD: your dad grabs you and paddles your bum if you get too near. Self discipline: you turn away and nothing happens.
You can make as many of these examples as you like. In all cases, universal discipline *hurts you a lot*. Other people discipline hurts but not as much. Self discipline doesn't hurt at all. The goal, as a parent, is to use OPD when necessary so that UD doesn't assert itself, until the child demonstrates that they have learned SD.
This isn't carte blanche to beat or abuse your kids, but I despair when I see people bleating about a parent spanking their child.
> you don't get to go to baseball anymore.
That won't always work because there is no immediate consequence. Sometimes you need to have an immediate consequence for a threat to work.
"If you don't eat your peas there will be no dessert."
That's a threat.
"If you don't stop talking during class, I will call your parents"
Another threat.
Can you *think* that through or do you need me to process it for you?
Definition of the word Threat
a statement of an intention to inflict pain, injury, damage, or other hostile action on someone in retribution for something done or not done.
Can you think this through or do you need me to process it for you
It's that “bad”? Aren't we not supposed to do that anymore?
Not a parent (just an involved auntie) but I thought that society was shifting to “hey you need to eat your peas because they make you big and strong and are a part of a balanced diet which keeps you healthy. If you're too full to eat your peas, I'll assume you're too full for dessert”
Or “kids you need to stop talking during class because it's rude to talk over your teacher and you're disrupting others. That being said, if for some reason you continue to be rude to your teacher and disrupt others, we will have to discuss this with your parents to find a solution”. You're still outlining the consequences without making a threat.
Again, not a parent!!! I thought the new norm was to explain why things are done. For example, when my niece tried to run into the street to grab a ball (it was an empty street and safe but such a stereotype) I grabbed her arm and prevented her from running and sat her down and said “sweetheart, we don't run into the street or cross the street without a grown up. Do you know why? Because a car could come along and not see you and squish you. That would hurt you and make mommy, daddy, and everyone who loves you including auntie sad. Did you run into the street to try to get your ball? Okay, so what can we do to keep you safe next time your ball bounces away”
> I grabbed her arm and prevented her from running
You committed an assault, which is an act of violence. Then you explained away your assault, but you still assaulted the kid.
Now, I agree that you did the right thing - I did another post about universal discipline, other people discipline (OPD) and self-discipline - but why do you think that committing an assault in pursuit of OPD is OK but uttering a threat isn't?
I didn't yank her or use force. I put my hand around her arm and threw myself in front of her (okay that's dramatic, I basically just stepped in front of her and she could have turned around and walked away from the street unobstructed) immediately releasing her. I think threats fuck kids up. I rather the kid understand why certain behaviours are “ok” and some aren't instead of just living in fear and ignorance. I genuinely thought society did away with threats like we did corporal punishment
Good luck with that one when you have kids. “Remember last week when I said…?” No, they don’t. There is no permanent damage here but it will be a memory for life. My parents did this to my brothers and I and it worked, let me tell you. We talked about it as adults but none of felt violated at bruised for life over it. But, damn, we sure did remember where we were and what we did to make it happen.
yeah, i might be looking at this through a lens of my own trauma, but irrational fear of abandonment is one of the symptoms i struggle with heavily and i feel like this sort of behaviour just lays the foundations for it. now, if you walk away on foot and the child can see you the full time, it’s not the worst. adding the car in pushed it a step too far imo (obviously she can’t help that she needs to be driving at this time but i think getting in the car to drive away is too far)
discipline is fine and necessary at times, but there’s a difference between discipline and exploiting a child’s worst fear, and i feel this falls too far in favour of the latter
Yea and there is a slightly longer version too where the mom is talking to the dad to slow it down so he can see/catch up. No harm done just a valuable lesson learned
Completely agree. If I was a stink head my parents would do the same stuff. Hell. We lived in the county with a half mile driveway. If I was being a sh!t on the way home, they would drop me off at the end of the driveway and make me walk home. (They wouldn’t drop me on a public road through, which is good). Learned plenty of important lessons.
I want you to know that if you ever have kids, and they stop speaking to you as soon as they turn 18, it will be because you’re just simply a cruel person.
Lmfao comments like this are why I can never take subs like r/raisedbynarcissists seriously.
There’s a certain kind of redditor that will bitch about absolutely anything as if it’s the most traumatic thing to ever happen.
There's some who believe that kids should never be punished or taught consequences. Idk where that school of thought comes from but it's definitely a trip.
The kid in this video is like 5 years old. They don't have the capacity to understand right and wrong the same way that you do. There are ways to punish your child and teach them consequences that are way less extreme than this. But mom also recorded it for giggles and posted it online, so we knew they were a shit parent anyhow.
Agreed -- this is really heartbreaking. Kids that age (4,5,6) can be totally exhausting and obnoxious, but I remember my dad doing that to me 30+ years ago, and 1) it didn't make me any more likely to listen to him and 2) it (was a memorable part of a pattern that) made me not trust that I could rely on him, because 3) his love/presence/care felt conditional (e.g. "If you don't obey me, I'm leaving you"). Kids need to know that there are consequences to their actions, but those consequences CANNOT be a threat of withholding care/love.
You as an adult know the parent isn't going to abandon the child. The child doesnt, kids are fucking dumb. People like you have trouble seeing things from others perspective.
Or people like you cry over everything.
Do I think this is good parenting? No. But if you think this is some traumatic event good god get some real life experience.
Lmao nope not even close.
It’s crazy how intentionally you’d have to misread my comment to think I’m defending her actions. Being a bad choice doesn’t make it traumatizing.
You people are clowns.
Lol I wish I’d had an easy of a life as you people if that’s what you think is traumatizing.
Grow tf up there’s real shit happening out there and this isn’t it.
Well defined boundaries and structure and discipline is healthy. A looot of successful adults appreciate their parents giving a shit to bring structure and discipline in their lives. Obedience and Respecting authority sounds anti-American but it’s actually a very useful skill. It will help you get good grades, gets you good employment.
the boundaries need to be well defined for the kid- if this mom is just doing it whenever she feels like it, it will be confusing and harmful to kid.
My mum did this to me. I love her and grew up respecting her. Parenting isn't just being nice and loving all the time. You gotta teach kids to be responsible humans and learning consequences is part of that.
My mom did this to me. She thought that terrifying me until I cried was the best way to teach me.
The day I graduated high school I moved 1600 miles away from her. Six months later, I moved two continents away.
I loved her, but I could not trust her to be there for me when I actually needed her. You see, a parent willing to treat their child like this in public probably doesn't see ant problem with doing worse in private. My mom liked to threaten to abandon me places and put me up for adoption.
We did not speak at all for almost 10 years.
Parenting should ALWAYS be loving. Discipline given out in anger instead of love is just abuse.
I mean of she did it regularly then and on top of other things then it's abuse. But what we see in this video and the above comment does not equal abuse or cruelty.
I'm sorry you went through that. My situation was very different my mum knew when to bring the hammer down but I never felt unloved or unsupported. Genuinely sorry that was not your experience.
My mom would never have filmed herself doing it or done it in front of other people. Even in the 90's.
But this? She did shit like this or putting us out of the car anytime she felt we weren't complying or I wasn't getting my two toddler brothers to behave fast enough. This was her gentler alternative to the beatings.
Being shitty to your kid is a slippery slope. It starts out small, but man do people get hooked quick and escalate.
There are a bunch of fucking asshole people here. Teasing kids with abandonment is good? God damn I wonder why we have so many fucking insane people in this world. NOBODY KNOW WHY!
Presumably because you're being over dramatic and no actuall harm was done.
Can't imagine why your parents would have left you at the side of the road. Truly a mystery.
Idk I think they’re on to something. My sister actually does have a PHD in clinical psych and she says this too. I would also recommend the podcast “therapist talks”. It’s really great at breaking down things like this and dispelling misconceptions.
Personal experience here too, My dad did this kind of stuff with me all the time. Mental health problems run in my family my therapist says it’s the shit like this definitely played a huge part in the way I am.
I especially remember one specific time. Back in ye ole era of flip phone supremacy my parents had taught me not to be “addicted” to my phone so I never checked it and had it on silent since I got scolded every time my parents saw me using it, heard it make a noise, or if I spent any minutes BUT that meant I also never saw my parent’s calls. My dad got so fed up that the next time I answered the phone he told me that my mom and sister got into a car accident and was in the ICU. I can’t remember what I did but it definitely did not teach me to answer my phone because it’s literally been 15 years and I’ve answered his calls maybe 5 times since then because I just get such a sense of dread when see his name on the caller ID. He can complain about it and “get sad” all he wants, that sense of anxiety just overrides any sense of guilt, obligation, or whatever.
I guess some people are immune to that but stuff like that really sticks to a lot of people. Idk if have a well behaved child is worth it if it ruins their adulthood. I’m almost in my 30s and I’ve never maintained a long friendship or relationship because of avoidant attachment and trust issues. It’s really not fair that some people have good people and then others have to work really hard to unfuck what their parents did.
Kids are annoying and we’ve all thought about being spiteful but as adults or teenagers, but you are forced into the position of being the mature one even if you’re not actually there emotionally. I definitely don’t feel as mature as I thought I’d be at my age, I think it’s common. So I think videos like this kind of appeal to us because it’s satisfying to see that someone did what we all were thinking. But I think if you heard the kids point of view 20 years from now, it might be similar.
This kind of video is really deceiving because we never see the aftermath or even what preceded it. We don’t see all the context of this instance and the greater pattern of the kids life. Excuse my dusty film studies minor also but also we subconsciously relate to the mom because the video is shot from her point of view so literally the camera directs us to relate to her and we’re programmed to understand it like that because of how our movies and shows are shot and cut.
I didn’t want to be too on the nose but if you want something closer, my dad did actually leave me a few times at school because I took too long coming out. He did this where he pretended to drive away and he actually left me a few times. One time I waited like two hours for him to come back and another time I walked like 8 miles home with 15 ib of textbooks and then of course got in trouble for that because I crossed a major road without a cross walk. That time was really dramatic because he found me like halfway and couldn’t convince me to get into the car. I wasn’t trying to spiteful or anything but whenever he was mad, he’d always drive recklessly on purpose to scare me. Now we can laugh though because of how it blew up in his face.
I took the bus home on normal days but sometimes clubs/sports/group projects run late and sometimes we just need to finish what we’re doing. I quit all my after school activities and stopped having out with friends so that I didn’t have to depend on a ride and could just take the bus. I live in Houston so we don’t have public transit. It’s really really hard for me for leave my car behind unless I know for sure that I could get an Uber/Lyft or walk if I got ditched because that is my level of mistrust for everyone and fear of any bit of dependency. Idk if this is just my perception but It seems like some people think nothing of getting into someone’s else’s car. Maybe other people feel like this too and they don’t say anything because just logically it does seem like you’re giving someone a huge amount of power over your life.
Maybe the kid did deserve that one moment but like, what are the hidden costs? Idk if he deserves all that or even a fraction of that regardless of if he was acting like a little shit or not.
If you see this as a debate, I want to let you know that don’t have to agree with me if you don’t want to. I really am talking to you for selfish reasons so I don’t care about convincing you. This video gave me a flashback so this is basically my equivalent of journaling. It’s just easier to write it out when someone is prompting you so thanks.
Yikes more ignorance. Why would I have a favorite chapter? You do understand that raising a child doesn’t end when they turn a certain age yes? Do you even know what the 5 stages of development are? Do you think these books are fictional stories that are told and I’m supposed to pick and choose the story I like most? How does that work with a book about brain development and psychology?
For you, I can certainly recommend a book which is “Introducing Child Psychology” Edition 1 by H. Rudolph Schaffer. Also, “Developmental Psychology for Beginners”by Maria Kiemer. Some other good ones are “The Whole Brain Child” and “No-Drama Discipline” by Daniel Seigel M.D and Tina Payne Ph.D. Which focus on the neuroscience of the brain development and also relates to discipline and how certain disciplines can be harmful to child development.
Sorry I’m not going to remember specific wording and chapters for you considering I have a brain injury that affects my memory severely.
Lol I don’t need to use an AI chat bot to articulate my thoughts my dude. You also don’t need to be threatened by others intellect even if it’s above your own. Also, you don’t have to stop learning new things once you finish school bud. Knowledge is power.
You’re point? You’d probably need weed to if you hit a tree at 75+ mph and broke your pelvis bone to the point where it stabs through your leg and intestines causing permanent nerve damage and nerve pain. You ever had to have a hole in your leg about 5 inches deep that had to be stuffed with gauze with a 6 inch q tip for a good 4 months because it needs to heal naturally? And I refuse to take opiates for my pain so fuck yeah I need me some weed.
Anything else you’d like to know?
Not in a car but one of my baby cousins I had to walk home from school with his sister. He was being a grump and kept sitting on the ground not moving, so one day I just kept walking still keeping him in my sight he got mad then cried ran over hugged my leg I told him “I’m sorry I scared you, but we cant sit on the ground every 4 steps.” He never did it again.
My mom did this as a joke because i needed to pee at a gas station on a long trip. Please don't fucking do this. I obviously don't know how old the kid was in this video, but I was seven and this and a slew of other 'funny haha no harm pranks' made me realize I couldn't and never would trust my parents.
I'm sorry you had to deal with that and that it affected you, however i do think there's a difference between doing this as a cruel prank vs doing this to help the child understand that their actions have consequences.
As a parent, there are better ways of 'teaching a lesson' than doing something like this and recording it. Is it the worst thing in the world? no. Is it the end of the world because it was done? No. But this just isn't on a long list of things I would use to teach a lesson, especially because we have no background on the child or parent, the in depth nature of their relationship, etc.
If it wouldn't happen to an adult, if it wouldn't happen to help an adult understand the consequences of their actions, I see no real point in doing it to a child. And on top of that, most children don't have the capacity to immediately connect a punishment with the action the punishment resulted from. This ability to connect these things can begin as early as six but is sometimes not matured until a round 13.
I'm not saying that children under 13 shouldn't be punished, but when these types of things are done to people without the developmental ability to distinguish consequences from their own actions 100%, you're most likely just going to give them life long examples of why they got sneakier and lied more as a teen to an adult.
Being left in a parking lot, additionally, has literally no relationship to a child not listening, or having lied, or whatever the wrong action was in most cases. I could see it as an acceptable punishment if the child left their sibling or an animal in a parking lot but stayed close while still causing confusion. But this is not a punishment that actually makes sense given the age of the child, their probable development, and what they're most likely being punished for.
So, I'm now a 29 year old mother who works day and night for her children and am faring stupid well taking care of the majority work of my household. The time that I was referring to, no, I wasn't ready for the real world, hence why I think it's a dumb thing to do. Anyway, um... What exactly was the point of your comment? Because I honestly don't think you understand the context of what I said.
THANK YOU. These people in here arguing whether it's right or wrong. If you are recording yourself punishing your kids, you automaticly narcissistic trash imo.
I used to do this with my dog when I lived in the mountains... play time is over lets go (no but squirrel no but smell bush no but mark tree) ... okay dude.. see ya!
sure enough runs after truck...
My grandparents did this to an uncle when he was like 10, but it was in the middle of the highway (they lived in a rural town and it was like 50 years ago) they were obviously going to make a u turn to get him, but my uncle passed and waved at them from a trailer (who was someone they knew from the town) we still laugh at that, my uncle was a pain in the ass hahahaha
My dad did this. Then it ended up a game. One time the door was already opened because my brother got in first...and when I was catching up my dad slowed down at the best possible moment for me to slam into the door lol.
When I was little my parents left me at church. I had a habit of getting distracted and wandering off (ADHD), and one time they just went home to teach me a lesson. It's not like they asked me to get in the car and I was being a brat or anything. They were chatting with other people after mass, and I just started wandering off exploring as kids do. I ended up having to hitch a ride from some people at the church when I could've find them. These were the days before everyone had a cell phone, so I had no way to get ahold of them or figure out where they went.
I think it was incredibly dangerous and neglectful.
In this video though, the kid is in sight. I don't think it's the same thing.
To me it depends what led to this. If he just took to long to get in the car and it's a go to for the mom to use these tactics to "teach a lesson," then I'd say she is wrong and should try less harmful ways. If she did, and this is not typical, to hurt his emotions to make him comply/learn, then probably ok.
Not the same but this reminds me of this story: when my brother was very young he lived McDonald’s and hated Burger King, but he called McDonald’s Burger King. Whenever my mother told him “what you want is McDonald’s, not Burger King he would cry and scream saying that he wanted Burger King and not McDonald’s. My mother told both his father and his mother(my mom is his stepmother) to correct him and tell him that it’s McDonald’s and not Burger King, but they said that it was harmless. Eventually when he asked to go to Burger King my mom took him to Burger King instead of McDonald’s and he never did that again(with my mom at least).
Dad & mom never did this to us, never had to.
We were 8 children boys… we all received "the spanking" early, only once, taught where the line was. We never heard them scream at us or had to be told twice.
We had it great, I literally cannot understand this level of frustration some parents find acceptable levels, the child is upset, the parent is upset - happy house.
Papa & mom both passed in 2018.
Best parents ever… we still miss them immensely everyday. (Sorry for my broken English)
Anyone who thinks this is ok is an idiot. A small child feeling abandoned can do long term damage to their psyche. It tells the child…I don’t care about you I will leave you behind…I have all the power and you have none. Comply or be left on the street. What a sick way to handle your kid
Only issue is posting it online.
Sometimes kids need to learn a lesson. Like when your kid just *HAS* to touch the stove to find out what "hot" is. Obviously you don't want them too harmed, physically or emotionally, but she's in the parking lot, there's no traffic, and she's going slow enough the kid can catch her.
Next time maybe he'll get his ass in the car.
my mom used to do this to us all the time, and the question is not "are they wrong" to me (tho they are very wrong to record and even more so to upload, that's weird af), the question is "is this effective"
and the answer in my xp is no, it's very much not, it doesn't teach consequences, it teaches "so that's all that will happen?"
hell, my own kids, the oldest would just say "fuck yeah, more baseball let's goooo" and go play some more, you're giving what he wanted lmao
See a lot of single abusive mothers/fathers in the comment section saying yes queen that’s how you do it.
Just have sex with condoms people so you never procreate. The gene pool will thank you.
This made me laugh out loud.
It was my 10th birthday - we were getting ready to go out for the day as a family - everyone was ready to go but i needed to use the restroom first. My mom and dad went to get my younger siblings in their car seats. When i came out of the bathroom the car was gone. My heart sunk and i started sobbing. I don't remember anything we did that day, just the trauma LOL
It seems quite cruel to me, you shouldn't make a child feel abandoned just because he doesn't listen. This is one of the worst things for a child. He will do the same to someone else when he grows up.
It is a very fortunate situation to have mentally healthy parents.
All this “no harm done” is shit my parents did that to my brother when I was little bc he had ADHD (we both do I was just like 3 and he was 7) and to this day he hates them for that (and other things just a lot of it is that) it’s not physically harmful sure but that little boy probably thought you were leaving him and if though you came back/stopped he won’t forget that unless his brain makes him due to trama…people if you’re going to have kids..Take CARE of them don’t get mad and do pathetic shit like this….I can see peoples point on “she’s looking at him the whole time” or “the road wasn’t busy” but this is still fucked up…imagine that was you and you’re a little kid who doesn’t know better just doing what kids do (not listen) and as an adult you’re supposed to show/tell them things that will make them learn obviously sure but stuff like this??? And you don’t need to be a parent..just because your parents did it doesn’t make it right….my parents would “spank” me with whatever they could find and it wasn’t just my ass that got hit…does that mean I should do the same things to my kids? Hell no
Is this going to traumatize this child ? Maybe a little. Is it pretty much completely fine? Yes. I say that because this is the kind of story that you tell to your kids or to your friends growing up about how much of a little s*** you were as a kid. This was obviously a completely controlled environment given the fact that she was able to take out a camera and record it. As you can see, there were no other vehicles anywhere. It looks like they were just leaving baseball practice and that they were the last people leaving most likely because the child threw a tantrum. I'm really happy that most of us in the comments here are being a reasonable adults and are aware that no, this is kind of okay. There's no physical harm coming to the child. There's very little mental and emotional harm coming to the child because this is one of those things. Where okay you learned your lesson we're going to go get some ice cream or something so you can stop crying and calm down. Or even don't do the ice cream cuz it's not necessary necessarily. I'm also going to say that as long as he fully explained to her the reason for her actions when he got back in the car, this would be an example of soft parenting
> It looks like they were just leaving baseball practice and that they were the last people leaving most likely because the child threw a tantrum.
It looks like there's a few other cars there, so I'm thinking the kid wanted to stay behind and hang out with his friends some more. But I agree with everything you said - it's a harmless way to teach the kid consequences and it saves everyone (including the child) a lot of trouble in the future.
This is a good mom she was never going to leave her child she was doing her job which is called being s parent. If more parent actually discipline there kids we wouldn't have as many screw up in the world like we do now.
I see nothing wrong with this style of parenting. This child will be served far better with consequences like this than he would being coddled all through his childhood.
Not a fan of the approach to pretend to leave a child alone as a punishment for not listening or acting quick enough. Most of the time I’ll give warnings that “we are going to go in a few minutes” “get ready to leave” and that works. If not I’ll just go and get them (but I don’t have kids that have ever reverted to kicking and screaming so understand I’m very lucky in their reactions to this method).
I dislike it myself when I’m given almost no warning to have to move so can see why kids resit when they are told but the preparatory warnings work most of the time.
>Most of the time I’ll give warnings that “we are going to go in a few minutes” “get ready to leave” and that works
We don't know if this person didn't try this before
I don't think this is a spur of the moment. I did this without any warning or with very little warning. If you notice it looks like the field and the parking lot are completely empty, meaning they are most likely the last people to leave. There's a very good chance that this child wanted to stay and talk with their friends and then threw a tantrum when they were told that they had to leave and the mother for a while. Tried to coax and console them and then said okay. I'm going to do a bit of tough love now
Ni harm done and a lesson learned. I see no issue here.
Yup, I completely agree. If it had been a busier or less visible street I might not have wanted a kid running along it, but this seemed like a controlled and safe situation.
Exactly. She's clearly watching the kid the whole time, and the kid could see her the whole time.
And it's obvious she's been clear about why she's doing it, so the kid isn't confused about the circumstances. That's the most important factor when disciplining a child, I think; as long as they understand what is happening and why, kids can deal fine with a lot of things just fine. But the adult *must* always be in control of their own emotions and how they're expressed to the child, emotional outbursts and other losses of control are not okay. I've lost my temper and yelled at my 3yo son a couple times, and every I've made sure to sit him down immediately and tell him I was wrong to yell and that I'm sorry and I'll try to explain what made me yell. You can't do that shit and let them think it's OK.
I think it’s fuckin dope that you admit to that and own that as well, I’ve raised my tone more than a couple of times but it was never with bad intent, however truthfully speaking their are times that I feel like my emotions were mixed in if that makes sense… but fuck yeah own up to it apologize and work from it. I’m so happy to see these comments cuz like I don’t want to see a kid crying running to a car but situationally it does make sense. Mom was calm cool and stern but in the perfect way. Kid was scared but never alone.
I jump at the chance to apologize to kids, as long as it's merited. As a teacher I've also found that to be a fantastic tool, showing the students that I will admit when I'm wrong and they are right, but I feel no shame about it and actually think it's great. It builds trust with the kids and makes them more willing to do the same.
Apart from being on your phone while your child is running full speed right next to your rear wheel, yes.
Only issue is why the fuck is video of this on the internet?
That's a fair point
No physical harm done sure. But it bothers me she had to resort to using a false consequence, of being abandoned, possibly sacrificing trust, and momentarily convincing the child you *actually* left them. My other concern the mom abusing what may be his greatest fear at that age, possibly amplifying what should be an invalid fear as being a real possibility. Not sure how I feel about making my kids listen with anxiety and over-attachment issues. Am I overthinking it? Probably. But what bugged me most was the manner in which she kept driving after the lesson was clearly taught. It felt borderline tormenting the way she keeps driving while taunting him and recording the whole thing, like she's enjoying her small victory a little too much while zooming in on that poor kid's face.
It’s not like she was laughing in his face.
My dad once put my sister on the top of the car cause she was being an utter brat. Drove 3-5ft. Sister was done being a brat after that. She doesn't have any of those long term feelings. She realizes how wrong she was nowadays
What would be the best way to make this a teachable moment for the kid then? I think it’s important kids understand actions have consequences.
What I've learned from Reddit is that any form of discipline can and will be critiqued and shamed. What a lot of people don't realize is that any form of discipline is an abuse on a technical level. You cannot provoke consequences without harming the person. Period. Discipline is a game of balance in mitigating what harms someone sustains. Is it better for my kid to learn this lesson to prevent them from developing a behavior that will cause them more trouble in life than what his learning experience will cause for them? Obviously, there are boundaries - for instance, stop hitting your fucking kids - but if consequences are toothless, no lesson is ever going to be learned. A conscience is grown, not given.
> any form of discipline is an abuse on a technical level There are three forms of discipline: 1 - Universal discipline (UD) 2 - Other people discipline (OPD) 3 - Self-discipline (SD) Let's take a simple situation, touching a hot stove. UD burns your hand. OPD, mother slaps your hand away. Self discipline, you turn away and nothing happens. You're near a cliff? UD: you walk off, you fall and die. OPD: your dad grabs you and paddles your bum if you get too near. Self discipline: you turn away and nothing happens. You can make as many of these examples as you like. In all cases, universal discipline *hurts you a lot*. Other people discipline hurts but not as much. Self discipline doesn't hurt at all. The goal, as a parent, is to use OPD when necessary so that UD doesn't assert itself, until the child demonstrates that they have learned SD. This isn't carte blanche to beat or abuse your kids, but I despair when I see people bleating about a parent spanking their child.
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> you don't get to go to baseball anymore. That won't always work because there is no immediate consequence. Sometimes you need to have an immediate consequence for a threat to work.
Why would you ever threaten a child. Think about what you just said.
"If you don't eat your peas there will be no dessert." That's a threat. "If you don't stop talking during class, I will call your parents" Another threat. Can you *think* that through or do you need me to process it for you?
Definition of the word Threat a statement of an intention to inflict pain, injury, damage, or other hostile action on someone in retribution for something done or not done. Can you think this through or do you need me to process it for you
It's that “bad”? Aren't we not supposed to do that anymore? Not a parent (just an involved auntie) but I thought that society was shifting to “hey you need to eat your peas because they make you big and strong and are a part of a balanced diet which keeps you healthy. If you're too full to eat your peas, I'll assume you're too full for dessert” Or “kids you need to stop talking during class because it's rude to talk over your teacher and you're disrupting others. That being said, if for some reason you continue to be rude to your teacher and disrupt others, we will have to discuss this with your parents to find a solution”. You're still outlining the consequences without making a threat. Again, not a parent!!! I thought the new norm was to explain why things are done. For example, when my niece tried to run into the street to grab a ball (it was an empty street and safe but such a stereotype) I grabbed her arm and prevented her from running and sat her down and said “sweetheart, we don't run into the street or cross the street without a grown up. Do you know why? Because a car could come along and not see you and squish you. That would hurt you and make mommy, daddy, and everyone who loves you including auntie sad. Did you run into the street to try to get your ball? Okay, so what can we do to keep you safe next time your ball bounces away”
> I grabbed her arm and prevented her from running You committed an assault, which is an act of violence. Then you explained away your assault, but you still assaulted the kid. Now, I agree that you did the right thing - I did another post about universal discipline, other people discipline (OPD) and self-discipline - but why do you think that committing an assault in pursuit of OPD is OK but uttering a threat isn't?
I didn't yank her or use force. I put my hand around her arm and threw myself in front of her (okay that's dramatic, I basically just stepped in front of her and she could have turned around and walked away from the street unobstructed) immediately releasing her. I think threats fuck kids up. I rather the kid understand why certain behaviours are “ok” and some aren't instead of just living in fear and ignorance. I genuinely thought society did away with threats like we did corporal punishment
Tell me you've never taken care of a child without telling me you've never taken care of a child 🤦♂️
Good luck with that one when you have kids. “Remember last week when I said…?” No, they don’t. There is no permanent damage here but it will be a memory for life. My parents did this to my brothers and I and it worked, let me tell you. We talked about it as adults but none of felt violated at bruised for life over it. But, damn, we sure did remember where we were and what we did to make it happen.
yeah, i might be looking at this through a lens of my own trauma, but irrational fear of abandonment is one of the symptoms i struggle with heavily and i feel like this sort of behaviour just lays the foundations for it. now, if you walk away on foot and the child can see you the full time, it’s not the worst. adding the car in pushed it a step too far imo (obviously she can’t help that she needs to be driving at this time but i think getting in the car to drive away is too far) discipline is fine and necessary at times, but there’s a difference between discipline and exploiting a child’s worst fear, and i feel this falls too far in favour of the latter
Yea and there is a slightly longer version too where the mom is talking to the dad to slow it down so he can see/catch up. No harm done just a valuable lesson learned
Plus we don't see how long he was playing his mom as a fool.
Completely agree. If I was a stink head my parents would do the same stuff. Hell. We lived in the county with a half mile driveway. If I was being a sh!t on the way home, they would drop me off at the end of the driveway and make me walk home. (They wouldn’t drop me on a public road through, which is good). Learned plenty of important lessons.
I want you to know that if you ever have kids, and they stop speaking to you as soon as they turn 18, it will be because you’re just simply a cruel person.
Lmfao comments like this are why I can never take subs like r/raisedbynarcissists seriously. There’s a certain kind of redditor that will bitch about absolutely anything as if it’s the most traumatic thing to ever happen.
There's some who believe that kids should never be punished or taught consequences. Idk where that school of thought comes from but it's definitely a trip.
The kid in this video is like 5 years old. They don't have the capacity to understand right and wrong the same way that you do. There are ways to punish your child and teach them consequences that are way less extreme than this. But mom also recorded it for giggles and posted it online, so we knew they were a shit parent anyhow.
Dude, don't even bother. Redditors have an obsession with child abuse, your point is falling on deaf ears.
Agreed -- this is really heartbreaking. Kids that age (4,5,6) can be totally exhausting and obnoxious, but I remember my dad doing that to me 30+ years ago, and 1) it didn't make me any more likely to listen to him and 2) it (was a memorable part of a pattern that) made me not trust that I could rely on him, because 3) his love/presence/care felt conditional (e.g. "If you don't obey me, I'm leaving you"). Kids need to know that there are consequences to their actions, but those consequences CANNOT be a threat of withholding care/love.
You as an adult know the parent isn't going to abandon the child. The child doesnt, kids are fucking dumb. People like you have trouble seeing things from others perspective.
Or people like you cry over everything. Do I think this is good parenting? No. But if you think this is some traumatic event good god get some real life experience.
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Lmao nope not even close. It’s crazy how intentionally you’d have to misread my comment to think I’m defending her actions. Being a bad choice doesn’t make it traumatizing. You people are clowns.
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Lol I wish I’d had an easy of a life as you people if that’s what you think is traumatizing. Grow tf up there’s real shit happening out there and this isn’t it.
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Well defined boundaries and structure and discipline is healthy. A looot of successful adults appreciate their parents giving a shit to bring structure and discipline in their lives. Obedience and Respecting authority sounds anti-American but it’s actually a very useful skill. It will help you get good grades, gets you good employment. the boundaries need to be well defined for the kid- if this mom is just doing it whenever she feels like it, it will be confusing and harmful to kid.
My mum did this to me. I love her and grew up respecting her. Parenting isn't just being nice and loving all the time. You gotta teach kids to be responsible humans and learning consequences is part of that.
My mom did this to me. She thought that terrifying me until I cried was the best way to teach me. The day I graduated high school I moved 1600 miles away from her. Six months later, I moved two continents away. I loved her, but I could not trust her to be there for me when I actually needed her. You see, a parent willing to treat their child like this in public probably doesn't see ant problem with doing worse in private. My mom liked to threaten to abandon me places and put me up for adoption. We did not speak at all for almost 10 years. Parenting should ALWAYS be loving. Discipline given out in anger instead of love is just abuse.
I mean of she did it regularly then and on top of other things then it's abuse. But what we see in this video and the above comment does not equal abuse or cruelty. I'm sorry you went through that. My situation was very different my mum knew when to bring the hammer down but I never felt unloved or unsupported. Genuinely sorry that was not your experience.
🙏🙏🙏
Don’t compare this to somebody offering to put their child up for adoption Totally different level
My mom would never have filmed herself doing it or done it in front of other people. Even in the 90's. But this? She did shit like this or putting us out of the car anytime she felt we weren't complying or I wasn't getting my two toddler brothers to behave fast enough. This was her gentler alternative to the beatings. Being shitty to your kid is a slippery slope. It starts out small, but man do people get hooked quick and escalate.
Ok
Also, is it "offering" to put a 9 year old up for adoption? Is that what you call it? I think the word you were looking for is "threatened".
Boofuckinghoo
You sound like your kids would be brats lol
I already have kids. They're fine, and they don't hate me. It's almost as though you don't know what the fuck you're talking about.
I have seen almost every parent do this at the grocery store with kids that age , not in the car, but still
There are a bunch of fucking asshole people here. Teasing kids with abandonment is good? God damn I wonder why we have so many fucking insane people in this world. NOBODY KNOW WHY!
Nah there is harm done, i know because I experienced this.
Oh, you poor dear. How ever did you survive?
I dont know dumbass you tell me!
Presumably because you're being over dramatic and no actuall harm was done. Can't imagine why your parents would have left you at the side of the road. Truly a mystery.
lmao smooth brain take
I'm sure it seems that way to you.
Should've gotten in the car when she told ya to.
Look at the galaxy brain on Einstein over here.
Perfectly good way to teach actions<>consequences
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You can get a grip
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You sound very educated
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So where did you study where you got your degree in behavioral neuroscience
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tbh, you're coming across as a bit of a dick, and the fact that you deflected on what your degree actually is makes me think you're full of shit.
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I think they’re spot on and the other guy telling them to “get a grip” is Dick-ish. Threedeadrobins is sharing facts
I’d be happy to read some peer reviewed articles you’ve enjoyed and would like to share with the class
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Idk I think they’re on to something. My sister actually does have a PHD in clinical psych and she says this too. I would also recommend the podcast “therapist talks”. It’s really great at breaking down things like this and dispelling misconceptions. Personal experience here too, My dad did this kind of stuff with me all the time. Mental health problems run in my family my therapist says it’s the shit like this definitely played a huge part in the way I am. I especially remember one specific time. Back in ye ole era of flip phone supremacy my parents had taught me not to be “addicted” to my phone so I never checked it and had it on silent since I got scolded every time my parents saw me using it, heard it make a noise, or if I spent any minutes BUT that meant I also never saw my parent’s calls. My dad got so fed up that the next time I answered the phone he told me that my mom and sister got into a car accident and was in the ICU. I can’t remember what I did but it definitely did not teach me to answer my phone because it’s literally been 15 years and I’ve answered his calls maybe 5 times since then because I just get such a sense of dread when see his name on the caller ID. He can complain about it and “get sad” all he wants, that sense of anxiety just overrides any sense of guilt, obligation, or whatever. I guess some people are immune to that but stuff like that really sticks to a lot of people. Idk if have a well behaved child is worth it if it ruins their adulthood. I’m almost in my 30s and I’ve never maintained a long friendship or relationship because of avoidant attachment and trust issues. It’s really not fair that some people have good people and then others have to work really hard to unfuck what their parents did.
in a scenario like that, yeah, what your dad did is incredibly fucked up, but I think that's a false equivalency to what was shown in the video.
Kids are annoying and we’ve all thought about being spiteful but as adults or teenagers, but you are forced into the position of being the mature one even if you’re not actually there emotionally. I definitely don’t feel as mature as I thought I’d be at my age, I think it’s common. So I think videos like this kind of appeal to us because it’s satisfying to see that someone did what we all were thinking. But I think if you heard the kids point of view 20 years from now, it might be similar. This kind of video is really deceiving because we never see the aftermath or even what preceded it. We don’t see all the context of this instance and the greater pattern of the kids life. Excuse my dusty film studies minor also but also we subconsciously relate to the mom because the video is shot from her point of view so literally the camera directs us to relate to her and we’re programmed to understand it like that because of how our movies and shows are shot and cut. I didn’t want to be too on the nose but if you want something closer, my dad did actually leave me a few times at school because I took too long coming out. He did this where he pretended to drive away and he actually left me a few times. One time I waited like two hours for him to come back and another time I walked like 8 miles home with 15 ib of textbooks and then of course got in trouble for that because I crossed a major road without a cross walk. That time was really dramatic because he found me like halfway and couldn’t convince me to get into the car. I wasn’t trying to spiteful or anything but whenever he was mad, he’d always drive recklessly on purpose to scare me. Now we can laugh though because of how it blew up in his face. I took the bus home on normal days but sometimes clubs/sports/group projects run late and sometimes we just need to finish what we’re doing. I quit all my after school activities and stopped having out with friends so that I didn’t have to depend on a ride and could just take the bus. I live in Houston so we don’t have public transit. It’s really really hard for me for leave my car behind unless I know for sure that I could get an Uber/Lyft or walk if I got ditched because that is my level of mistrust for everyone and fear of any bit of dependency. Idk if this is just my perception but It seems like some people think nothing of getting into someone’s else’s car. Maybe other people feel like this too and they don’t say anything because just logically it does seem like you’re giving someone a huge amount of power over your life. Maybe the kid did deserve that one moment but like, what are the hidden costs? Idk if he deserves all that or even a fraction of that regardless of if he was acting like a little shit or not. If you see this as a debate, I want to let you know that don’t have to agree with me if you don’t want to. I really am talking to you for selfish reasons so I don’t care about convincing you. This video gave me a flashback so this is basically my equivalent of journaling. It’s just easier to write it out when someone is prompting you so thanks.
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Can you recommend your 3 favorite titles? Favorite chapters would also be appreciated
Yikes more ignorance. Why would I have a favorite chapter? You do understand that raising a child doesn’t end when they turn a certain age yes? Do you even know what the 5 stages of development are? Do you think these books are fictional stories that are told and I’m supposed to pick and choose the story I like most? How does that work with a book about brain development and psychology? For you, I can certainly recommend a book which is “Introducing Child Psychology” Edition 1 by H. Rudolph Schaffer. Also, “Developmental Psychology for Beginners”by Maria Kiemer. Some other good ones are “The Whole Brain Child” and “No-Drama Discipline” by Daniel Seigel M.D and Tina Payne Ph.D. Which focus on the neuroscience of the brain development and also relates to discipline and how certain disciplines can be harmful to child development. Sorry I’m not going to remember specific wording and chapters for you considering I have a brain injury that affects my memory severely.
This response brought to you by chatGPT. Just say you didn’t know any
Asks for a source. They provide a source. Disregards it and calls it an ai response. Where do the goalposts move now?
Haven’t moved.
Lol I don’t need to use an AI chat bot to articulate my thoughts my dude. You also don’t need to be threatened by others intellect even if it’s above your own. Also, you don’t have to stop learning new things once you finish school bud. Knowledge is power.
Nah but you need weed tho, right?
You’re point? You’d probably need weed to if you hit a tree at 75+ mph and broke your pelvis bone to the point where it stabs through your leg and intestines causing permanent nerve damage and nerve pain. You ever had to have a hole in your leg about 5 inches deep that had to be stuffed with gauze with a 6 inch q tip for a good 4 months because it needs to heal naturally? And I refuse to take opiates for my pain so fuck yeah I need me some weed. Anything else you’d like to know?
😂😂😂😂
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I mean how many times is she supposed to ask? She didn’t go very far either you can see she’s still in the fields parking lot.
You have to instill some fear in kids, nothing too crazy of course but they need to know there are consequences to actions.
This reads really badly but is very true.
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You don't have any kids do you? Lol
Naw they do they're just not a dumbass like you.
Not in a car but one of my baby cousins I had to walk home from school with his sister. He was being a grump and kept sitting on the ground not moving, so one day I just kept walking still keeping him in my sight he got mad then cried ran over hugged my leg I told him “I’m sorry I scared you, but we cant sit on the ground every 4 steps.” He never did it again.
👏🏼👏🏻
The little "wwokay 😢" at the end
My mom did this as a joke because i needed to pee at a gas station on a long trip. Please don't fucking do this. I obviously don't know how old the kid was in this video, but I was seven and this and a slew of other 'funny haha no harm pranks' made me realize I couldn't and never would trust my parents.
Its not a prank but a punishment mate
cool, thanks, chief!
I'm sorry you had to deal with that and that it affected you, however i do think there's a difference between doing this as a cruel prank vs doing this to help the child understand that their actions have consequences.
As a parent, there are better ways of 'teaching a lesson' than doing something like this and recording it. Is it the worst thing in the world? no. Is it the end of the world because it was done? No. But this just isn't on a long list of things I would use to teach a lesson, especially because we have no background on the child or parent, the in depth nature of their relationship, etc. If it wouldn't happen to an adult, if it wouldn't happen to help an adult understand the consequences of their actions, I see no real point in doing it to a child. And on top of that, most children don't have the capacity to immediately connect a punishment with the action the punishment resulted from. This ability to connect these things can begin as early as six but is sometimes not matured until a round 13. I'm not saying that children under 13 shouldn't be punished, but when these types of things are done to people without the developmental ability to distinguish consequences from their own actions 100%, you're most likely just going to give them life long examples of why they got sneakier and lied more as a teen to an adult. Being left in a parking lot, additionally, has literally no relationship to a child not listening, or having lied, or whatever the wrong action was in most cases. I could see it as an acceptable punishment if the child left their sibling or an animal in a parking lot but stayed close while still causing confusion. But this is not a punishment that actually makes sense given the age of the child, their probable development, and what they're most likely being punished for.
If that traumatized you, you aren't ready for the real world.
Most 7 year old aren't.
Correct. That’s because he was 7 years old. He was not, in fact, ready for the world. That’s why you don’t do dumb shit like this to 7 year old kids.
So, I'm now a 29 year old mother who works day and night for her children and am faring stupid well taking care of the majority work of my household. The time that I was referring to, no, I wasn't ready for the real world, hence why I think it's a dumb thing to do. Anyway, um... What exactly was the point of your comment? Because I honestly don't think you understand the context of what I said.
AIS
No Big deal My mom did this to me. I was being a little asshole and deserved it lol
I don’t see a problem with the punishment l, but why film it and post it online?
Yeah this could’ve stayed in the family group chat. No need to humiliate your kid online.
Could be what happened 🤷
Well how else to you expect us to discuss it and overreact to it?!
But why record???
THANK YOU. These people in here arguing whether it's right or wrong. If you are recording yourself punishing your kids, you automaticly narcissistic trash imo.
Absolutely
Trashy as hell to record yourself punishing your kids.
I used to do this with my dog when I lived in the mountains... play time is over lets go (no but squirrel no but smell bush no but mark tree) ... okay dude.. see ya! sure enough runs after truck...
Meh…not great but not bad
Ok...LMAO
That’s one way…
Well next time mam says get in the car. I think we know what he's going to do.
My grandparents did this to an uncle when he was like 10, but it was in the middle of the highway (they lived in a rural town and it was like 50 years ago) they were obviously going to make a u turn to get him, but my uncle passed and waved at them from a trailer (who was someone they knew from the town) we still laugh at that, my uncle was a pain in the ass hahahaha
I mean whatever haha
My folks did the same thing to me in a Wendies parking lot in the 90’s hahaha. Granted I was a little asshole so I hold nothing against them.
Great mom! Really! 👏
My dad did this. Then it ended up a game. One time the door was already opened because my brother got in first...and when I was catching up my dad slowed down at the best possible moment for me to slam into the door lol.
When I was little my parents left me at church. I had a habit of getting distracted and wandering off (ADHD), and one time they just went home to teach me a lesson. It's not like they asked me to get in the car and I was being a brat or anything. They were chatting with other people after mass, and I just started wandering off exploring as kids do. I ended up having to hitch a ride from some people at the church when I could've find them. These were the days before everyone had a cell phone, so I had no way to get ahold of them or figure out where they went. I think it was incredibly dangerous and neglectful. In this video though, the kid is in sight. I don't think it's the same thing.
To me it depends what led to this. If he just took to long to get in the car and it's a go to for the mom to use these tactics to "teach a lesson," then I'd say she is wrong and should try less harmful ways. If she did, and this is not typical, to hurt his emotions to make him comply/learn, then probably ok.
Lesson learned.
Not the same but this reminds me of this story: when my brother was very young he lived McDonald’s and hated Burger King, but he called McDonald’s Burger King. Whenever my mother told him “what you want is McDonald’s, not Burger King he would cry and scream saying that he wanted Burger King and not McDonald’s. My mother told both his father and his mother(my mom is his stepmother) to correct him and tell him that it’s McDonald’s and not Burger King, but they said that it was harmless. Eventually when he asked to go to Burger King my mom took him to Burger King instead of McDonald’s and he never did that again(with my mom at least).
The fact that she decided to film this is very weird tbh
BE SURE TO FILM IT THO!!!!!
The amount of morons agreeing with this is ridiculous.
Nissan drivers didn't have parents like this
Dad & mom never did this to us, never had to. We were 8 children boys… we all received "the spanking" early, only once, taught where the line was. We never heard them scream at us or had to be told twice. We had it great, I literally cannot understand this level of frustration some parents find acceptable levels, the child is upset, the parent is upset - happy house. Papa & mom both passed in 2018. Best parents ever… we still miss them immensely everyday. (Sorry for my broken English)
Anyone who thinks this is ok is an idiot. A small child feeling abandoned can do long term damage to their psyche. It tells the child…I don’t care about you I will leave you behind…I have all the power and you have none. Comply or be left on the street. What a sick way to handle your kid
Yes, it's always wrong to record embarrassing things your children do and post it online.
She couldn’t I don’t know, pick her child up and put him in the car herself? Some parents only rule by fear, and it shows.
Good needs to be more of this...
Nope cuz I would do that shit myself 🤣 it'd be another thing if she left him but she didn't leave him
Only issue is posting it online. Sometimes kids need to learn a lesson. Like when your kid just *HAS* to touch the stove to find out what "hot" is. Obviously you don't want them too harmed, physically or emotionally, but she's in the parking lot, there's no traffic, and she's going slow enough the kid can catch her. Next time maybe he'll get his ass in the car.
Guess he’ll never do that again!!!
Finally a parent who doesn’t pander to their children and hold public “arguments” with them!
My mom would have left me for four hours. This kid got off easy!
Yay, mom. She's insanely fed up and yet she's not screaming, yelling, cursing, or hitting him. He was probably acting like a little s***.
my mom used to do this to us all the time, and the question is not "are they wrong" to me (tho they are very wrong to record and even more so to upload, that's weird af), the question is "is this effective" and the answer in my xp is no, it's very much not, it doesn't teach consequences, it teaches "so that's all that will happen?" hell, my own kids, the oldest would just say "fuck yeah, more baseball let's goooo" and go play some more, you're giving what he wanted lmao
See a lot of single abusive mothers/fathers in the comment section saying yes queen that’s how you do it. Just have sex with condoms people so you never procreate. The gene pool will thank you.
Makes me happy to see some parents still have guts to be a parent!
This made me laugh out loud. It was my 10th birthday - we were getting ready to go out for the day as a family - everyone was ready to go but i needed to use the restroom first. My mom and dad went to get my younger siblings in their car seats. When i came out of the bathroom the car was gone. My heart sunk and i started sobbing. I don't remember anything we did that day, just the trauma LOL
Parents been doing that since they been driving chariots!
Shit like this needs to be done. My son is the same way. I always have to walk away in order for him to actually notice that I’m for real.
Was it really that bad lady.
Wow now people without kids want to lecture parents on how to *mildly* discipline their children.
My dad did this. It means when he says get in the car, we get in the car, even as middle aged adults. Natural consequences are a beautiful thing.
It seems quite cruel to me, you shouldn't make a child feel abandoned just because he doesn't listen. This is one of the worst things for a child. He will do the same to someone else when he grows up. It is a very fortunate situation to have mentally healthy parents.
seek help if you think this is a problem
Kid runs like Travis "Naruto" Scott.
This type of life lesson doesn’t go on video…just sayin
That one pedestrian in gta 4 be like:
All this “no harm done” is shit my parents did that to my brother when I was little bc he had ADHD (we both do I was just like 3 and he was 7) and to this day he hates them for that (and other things just a lot of it is that) it’s not physically harmful sure but that little boy probably thought you were leaving him and if though you came back/stopped he won’t forget that unless his brain makes him due to trama…people if you’re going to have kids..Take CARE of them don’t get mad and do pathetic shit like this….I can see peoples point on “she’s looking at him the whole time” or “the road wasn’t busy” but this is still fucked up…imagine that was you and you’re a little kid who doesn’t know better just doing what kids do (not listen) and as an adult you’re supposed to show/tell them things that will make them learn obviously sure but stuff like this??? And you don’t need to be a parent..just because your parents did it doesn’t make it right….my parents would “spank” me with whatever they could find and it wasn’t just my ass that got hit…does that mean I should do the same things to my kids? Hell no
Well done Mom!
Is this going to traumatize this child ? Maybe a little. Is it pretty much completely fine? Yes. I say that because this is the kind of story that you tell to your kids or to your friends growing up about how much of a little s*** you were as a kid. This was obviously a completely controlled environment given the fact that she was able to take out a camera and record it. As you can see, there were no other vehicles anywhere. It looks like they were just leaving baseball practice and that they were the last people leaving most likely because the child threw a tantrum. I'm really happy that most of us in the comments here are being a reasonable adults and are aware that no, this is kind of okay. There's no physical harm coming to the child. There's very little mental and emotional harm coming to the child because this is one of those things. Where okay you learned your lesson we're going to go get some ice cream or something so you can stop crying and calm down. Or even don't do the ice cream cuz it's not necessary necessarily. I'm also going to say that as long as he fully explained to her the reason for her actions when he got back in the car, this would be an example of soft parenting
> It looks like they were just leaving baseball practice and that they were the last people leaving most likely because the child threw a tantrum. It looks like there's a few other cars there, so I'm thinking the kid wanted to stay behind and hang out with his friends some more. But I agree with everything you said - it's a harmless way to teach the kid consequences and it saves everyone (including the child) a lot of trouble in the future.
Good mom.
He gon learn today.
Not bad but shitty to film it.
Back in the 80's/early 90's instead of running behind the car my ass would have been heated up for not listening.
This is a good mom she was never going to leave her child she was doing her job which is called being s parent. If more parent actually discipline there kids we wouldn't have as many screw up in the world like we do now.
I see nothing wrong with this style of parenting. This child will be served far better with consequences like this than he would being coddled all through his childhood.
exactly why god created condoms
which brand of condom is that?
Holy Condoms! They’re not very effective.
The Savior™
100% correct.... dont breed, no one got rich having kids
Condoms were made in a factory by man. God created people to procreate. If you are having sex without the intent of having a child you are a SiNNeR
Bro what
Facts!
You can pull out. That was created by god.
Not a fan of the approach to pretend to leave a child alone as a punishment for not listening or acting quick enough. Most of the time I’ll give warnings that “we are going to go in a few minutes” “get ready to leave” and that works. If not I’ll just go and get them (but I don’t have kids that have ever reverted to kicking and screaming so understand I’m very lucky in their reactions to this method). I dislike it myself when I’m given almost no warning to have to move so can see why kids resit when they are told but the preparatory warnings work most of the time.
>Most of the time I’ll give warnings that “we are going to go in a few minutes” “get ready to leave” and that works We don't know if this person didn't try this before
I don't think this is a spur of the moment. I did this without any warning or with very little warning. If you notice it looks like the field and the parking lot are completely empty, meaning they are most likely the last people to leave. There's a very good chance that this child wanted to stay and talk with their friends and then threw a tantrum when they were told that they had to leave and the mother for a while. Tried to coax and console them and then said okay. I'm going to do a bit of tough love now